JOKES AND STUFF
(hehehe)

10 SUREFIRE WAYS TO ANNOY PEOPLE AT WORK:

1.Every time someone asks you to do something ask if they want fries with that.
2. Suggest that the coke machine be filled with beer.
3. Develop an unnatural fear of staplers.
4. Reply to everything someone says with "That's what you think."
5. Finish all your sentences with "In accordance with the prophesy".
6  Dont use any punctuation
7. Ask people what sex they are.
8. Five days in advance let your friends know that you can't attend their party because you're not in the mood.
9. As often as possible, skip rather than walk.
10. Highlight irrelevant information on scientific ppers and cc them to your boss.

10 WAYS TO ANNOY PEOPLE IN A PUBLIC TOILET STALL:

1. Say, "Uh oh, I knew I shouldn't have put my mouth on that."
2. Grunt and strain for 30 seconds and then drop a cantaloupe into the toilet.
3. Say, "Now how did that get in there?"
4. Fill up a large flask with Mountain Dew. Squirt it erratically all over the floor while yelling "Whoa boy! Whoa!"
5. Say, "Boy, that sure looks like a maggot."
6. Lower a small mirror under the stall next to you and say, "Peekaboo!"
7. Say, "Come on Mr. Happy! Don't fall asleep on me know!"
8. Say, "Interesting... more sinkers than floaters."
9. Say, "Humus. Reminds me of humus."
10. Drop a marble and say, "Oh shit! My glass eye!"

10 SUREFIRE WAYS TO ANNOY PEOPLE IN AN ELEVATOR:

1.Grimace painfully while you bang your head and yell, "Shut up all of you, just shut up!"
2.Stand silent and motionless in the corner facing the wall without getting off.
3. Stare, grinning at another passenger and then suddenly announce, "I'm wearing new socks!"
4. Walk on with a cooler that says "human head" on the side.
5. Wear a puppet on your hand and use it to talk to the other passengers.
6. Draw a square on the floor with chalk and announce to all the other passengers that tthis is your personal space.
7. Announce in the most scary voice possible, "I must find a more suitable host body." and exit the elevator.
8. Say "DING!" at each floor.
9. Meow occasionally.
10. Stare at another passenger for a while and then scream, "You're one of them!!" and move to the other side of the elevator.
  

David's submission

send submissions to:

[email protected]

Hosted by www.Geocities.ws

1