Bellum DomesticumbyLittleTiger |
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Chapter 6-Tangere ulcus Severus stalked into his office an hour or so past noon on the second day of term, slamming the door forcefully behind him. Wearily, he sank down into a chair, holding his head in his hands and rubbing at his throbbing temples. Never had the first day of term been so eventful. His meeting with Voldemort, coupled with the discovery that Harry was his son, had left him shaken. Needless to say, he had not slept well last night. Potter- no, Harry- was his son. And he had done nothing but try and make the boy's life miserable ever since that first Potions class five years ago. True, he was supposed to discriminate against the Gryffindors as part of his spying role, but he had gone out of his way to bait Harry. He had taken every opportunity to ridicule the boy, to deduct points, to try and get him expelled. Part of it was the torment of seeing James Potter's face, albeit with Lily's bright green eyes, whenever he looked at Harry. James Potter, who had saved Snape's life, and whose wife Snape had raped. If Harry ever accepts me, it'll be a miracle, thought Severus. And if Harry did accept him, what then? Unless Severus managed to be released from his spying duties, he and Harry would have no choice but to act as though they still despised each other. Which recalled Severus to the problem of Harry's changing physical appearance. He hoped Albus had come up with a solution that would enable Harry to continue resembling James Potter. If people started to see a resemblance to Snape in Harry's facial features, the magnitude of the consequences could not be understated. Severus had to admit, though, that he was curious to see whatever Harry's true appearance was. The boy had Lily's eyes for certain, but the structure of his face was beginning to look like Severus' own. And Harry's mannerisms�there had been something reminiscent of Lily in the way the boy had insisted on doing the Paternis Veritas test sooner than later. His son had Lily's Gryffindor courage. God, of course he does, with what he's been through, thought Severus. The boy had faced down Voldemort no less than three times since coming to Hogwarts, had won the Triwizard Tourament, and hadn't been afraid to knock Snape out with the Disarming Charm. Severus smiled ruefully at the last. There was no doubt his son was someone he could be proud of. Knowing that Harry was his son and not Potter's made Severus' feelings towards the boy all the more confused. He wasn't sure how to feel about Harry, but Severus did know that he needed to talk to his son. The boy's identity had just been stripped away from him; Merlin knew what he must be feeling. "Severus." The potions master's reverie was interrupted by the soft voice of Albus Dumbledore. "Go away, Albus." "Severus, I know last night was rough on you. But we need to discuss a course of action. This can't be put off; your safety and Harry's may depend upon it." The old wizard's voice was still soft, but it contained a note of steel. Severus winced. Dumbledore knew Severus was unwilling to compromise Harry's safety, however much he might disregard his own. A wave of resentment and self-loathing washed over the potions master. Damn the Ministry for making him do their dirty work by spying, and damn himself for the sins he had committed that had got him- and Harry- in this mess. Sighing, he said, "Come in, then." When the door was shut, Severus asked, "How is Harry, Albus?" "He's holding himself together admirably well. I spoke to him just a few hours ago. He's understandably upset by the news, but he's beginning to reconcile himself to it. Physically, he still looks a bit peaky. I think it's a side effect of the wearing off of whatever charm Lily must have cast on him to make him resemble James. He's starting to look like you, you know." Severus' dark eyes widened. "Did he- did he say if he would talk to me?" "He said he would. I'm going back to the Hospital Wing around four o'clock to cast a modified Mirror Charm on him. Hopefully that will make him continue to look like James but still retain the scar and the colour of his eyes. Why don't you go up and see him sometime before then? Miss Granger and Mr. Weasley will be there in the evening, and it might be hard to explain your visiting Harry in the Hospital Wing if you ran into them." "Yes, I- I think I'll do that." "In public, you will, unfortunately, have to continue to treat him as you always have. Be sure to let him know that, but also be sure to let him know it is an act." "I know," said Severus, a trace of bitterness at the necessity of the charade in his voice. "How are you holding up, Severus?" The potions master blinked in surprise at the question. "Come now, Severus. Harry's not the only one who had a shock last night. Furthermore, you had a Death Eater meeting. It can't have been easy; you look as though you haven't slept a wink" "I haven't," muttered Severus, a tired yawn escaping him. His next words were more serious. "Voldemort's still after Harry, Albus. He thinks Harry made him lose face by escaping the trap he and Crouch set during the third task of the Triwizard Tournament last year." "Does he have any definite plans yet?" "Not that I know of. He just said 'Potter will be eliminated.' He didn't say how or when." Dumbledore frowned. "That's worrying. Do you think he's beginning to suspect that you're a spy?" Severus let out a frustrated breath. "I'm not sure. I think he knows someone's leaking information, but I don't think he knows who." "Be careful, Severus. I don't want you getting hurt or caught." "The Ministry doesn't care, so long as I bring them information," growled Snape bitterly. "They're still not convinced I'm truly not loyal to Voldemort." "That is one of their failings," agreed the Headmaster calmly. Those in the Ministry he had managed to convince of Voldemort's return had wanted Snape immediately thrown back into Azkaban on the suspicion that Snape was still loyal to Voldemort. Dumbledore had managed to convince them not to do so, on the condition that the potions master return to spying. Only a relative few, among them Arthur Weasley, had protested that, prior to Voldemort's fall thirteen years ago, Snape had done more than enough to prove he held no more loyalty to the Dark Lord. "Well, I must be off. I would suggest going to see Harry now. I'll be by the Hospital Wing around four to do that Mirror Charm, if you need me." Severus swallowed, doing his best to conceal his nervousness. "Thank you, Albus." "Not at all, my friend." Dumbledore clapped the potions master on the shoulder and exited the office, leaving the younger man to steel his nerves in preparation for meeting Harry. * * * Harry had given up reading to pass the time; trying to focus on the print made him feel dizzy. His bones hurt, a feeling similar to having swallowed a dose of Skele-Gro. In an effort to distract himself, he had taken to lying on his back, staring at the ceiling and simply thinking. Many times before, Harry had wished for a parent to talk to. Having his godfather nearby last year had been some comfort, but Harry knew that Sirius couldn't contact him often for fear of being tracked down and caught. Now, Harry thought, I have my own father for a professor at school. Whether or not his father was the sort of person Harry could talk to was another matter entirely. Then there was the matter of his appearance. He was undeniably curious as to how it was changing, but he dreaded looking at his reflection. He that Dumbledore would be casting the Mirror Charm on him later that day. Had he really changed that much? Apparently so, if Dumbledore felt a disguise was necessary. Better go see what I look like without the disguise, he thought. Might be my last chance in a long time. Harry swung his legs out of bed, ignoring as he did so the way the world spun around him. Standing up, he had to support himself on the chair by the bed for a moment until he could steady himself. Drawing a few deep breaths, he headed determinedly towards the bathroom, where there was a mirror. Standing in front of it so as to get a good look at his face, he stared apprehensively at what he saw. The most obvious difference from his usual appearance was, of course, the absence of his glasses. His eyes were still the same brilliant green, the colour accentuated by dark lashes, and his dark eyebrows were narrower and arched slightly. The shape of his eyes, though not the colour, was clearly inherited from his father. The cheekbones looked higher and more prominent. Like Snape's, Harry thought. Thankfully he didn't have Snape's hooked nose, although there was something of his father about the jaw and chin. Harry's hair, too, was different. It was still very dark, but it was straight and no longer unruly. Without it sticking out every which way, it lay flatter against his head and looked longer. It also looked softer and finer, and where the light caught it there were reddish highlights. Harry swallowed painfully, a wave of nausea washing over him. Unable to look at his reflection any longer, he hurried from the bathroom and back to his bed, tears blurring his eyes. Seeing his changed reflection was just one more tortuous reminder of the reality that Snape was, in fact, his father�that Harry was no longer who he had always thought himself to be. Curling up on his side, he clutched a pillow to himself, screwing his eyes shut against the tears that threatened to fall. He had managed to keep himself from crying in the aftermath of the Triwizard Tournament, in which Cedric Diggory had been murdered and Voldemort had returned. But last night's discovery was far more personal, and hit closer to home than Harry liked to admit. Drawing a shuddery breath, he forced himself to release the pillow and dry his eyes. As he did so, he heard soft footfalls outside the curtains that surrounded his bed. Composing his face, he yanked them aside. It was Snape. Harry started visibly at the sight of his father, who involuntarily took a step backwards at the boy's reaction. With slight surprise, Harry noted that the man looked nervous. It was not an emotion one usually associated with Snape, but then the situation at the moment was not exactly usual. At least he's not sneering at me, he thought. For a long moment, the two studied each other. Harry, the image of his changed appearance still fresh on his mind, was struck anew by the resemblance between himself and his father. He was also anxious to know what Snape planned to do about the whole situation. Snape, for his part, seemed almost dazed by Harry's different appearance. It was clear that, to keep people from suspecting that he and Harry were related, a disguise would be necessary. Finally, Severus drew a deep breath and spoke. "Harry, we need to talk." |
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