Rukuso

>>It wasn't my peaceful home>>

~/the past : memories : thoughts/~

~*~

"Kurapika?"

"Yeah, Gon?" I said, not turning to face my friend who had been nice enough to actually come with me here in the remote regions of Rukuso just so I could visit my homeland -- and my people's graves.

"Are you alright?" he asked, his voice dripping with sympathy and concern.

"Sure," I lied, succeedding in surpressing the sobs that were forcing their way out of me. "Sure, Gon, I'm fine."

"We better head back . . . Leorio and Killua are sure to be worried and, uh, we can continue this tomorrow."

"Alright."

~*~

"You alright?"

"Yes, I'm fine. Let me be, okay?"

"Just asking."

"Hn."

"Kurapika . . ."

"Leorio, shut up."

~*~

Blam!

"Where is he going?" I heard Killua ask as the door slammed shut behind me.

"I don't know. We'll just have to leave him alone. Go to sleep you two," answered Leorio, and footsteps against the wooden floor were heard as he ushered them back to their rooms.

As the footsteps faded away, I pushed off from the door where I had been leaning against. I was barefooted, but that didn't matter, for I've been running around here barefooted in my childhood.

I walked upon the grounds that have once been the village's center. I stooped down and memories flooded back . . .

~*~

"Leorio, I think you should check on Kurapika," said Gon as the older boy tucked the blankets around him.

"Sure, Gon. Now go to sleep," Leorio replied.

"Leorio, you should," came Killua's voice from the other side of the room.

"I'm planning to, okay? But he musn't know I'm watching him so you two sleep already, then I can scoot out of here," Leorio answered back impatiently.

"Oh, alright."

ZzZzZzZzZz [sleep]

~*~

"Leorio, are the two asleep already?" I asked.

"Uh, yeah," he replied, coming out of the bushes he has been hiding behind. "How did you--?"

"Knew you were there?" I cut him off. "In a still and silent night like tonight, anything and everything can be heard."

"Silent?" Leorio asked. "You call THIS silent?" A branch snapped close to him and he jumped.

"This is my home, remember?" I said, turning around to look at him. I shook my head to partly hide my eyes with my blonde bangs -- I just KNOW they've turned scarlet. "I know the difference between the sounds of this place from that of a...disturbance."

"Right," he muttered, rubbing his hands together. "We better go back, Kurapika. I'm getting cold, aren't you yet? And, darn, you don't have any slippers on."

"Cold," I echoed, turning my back on him again. "I remember now...too clearly."

~/That fateful night wasn't much different from tonight, still and silent if not for the occassional snapping of the branches. We used to play out of the house everyday until way past dusk, but that night it was too cold and parents won't let their children out. Everyone stayed indoors, and I was asleep in my room. Or so I have pretended to.../~

"Oi, Kurapika, snap out of it," Leorio shouted at my ear, shaking me as I stood there, reminiscing the past. "I know we're here...in Rukuso...but pick a better time for a trip down memory lane, will ya? It's freezin cold!"

"Yes..." I vaguely answered, my voice trailing off.

~/I slipped out through my bedroom window. Me and my friends have made a pact that afternoon of playing hunt tonight. I wasn't sure if the deal was still on or not because of the weather, but still I went to the meeting place with my overused twin-katana. It was one of the most powerful and strongest weapons in our village. A precious heirloom of our family my dad has passed on to me./~

"Kurapika, come on!"Leorio shouted just behind me, but I hardly heard him.

I took a step forward, another, and another. I don't know where I'm walking towards to, I don't seem to have any control over my legs at all...

~/No one came. I guess they decided it was just too cold or, more probably, they got caught by the elders on their way out. I always wondered how our parents find out, I heard the older kids speak of something called 'aura'. Of course, I didn't know about the power of Nen then...and frankly, I didn't care./~

Where am I going? I'm treading to nowhere...Leorio keeps on shouting, I can't understand what he is saying...he's probably shouting my name...where am I heading? Where are my feet bringing me to?

~/I guess I fell asleep. I woke up feeling sore having been sleeping on solid rock. It was very late and, of course, colder. At least, that was what I expected. But strangely, somehow, the forest air felt warmer. I threw off the blanket wrapped around my shoulders that I have needed earlier this night./~

"Kurapika, where are you going?" was all I could make out of what Leorio was screaming at me.

~/I got back to the village...but what I saw wasn't.../~

"Kurapika, stop it. Let's go back," Leorio's voice got a bit more distinct as he grabbed my arm.

~/...wasn't my peaceful home...everything was burned or destroyed...everyone lay on the ground...dead.../~

"Kurapika?" he called again.

~/In the distance, I could hardly see a small group...one had a mark of a spider at his back, and another one...they're the ones responsible for this.../~

I finally stopped in my aimless walk. "Leorio, why did I live? Why couldn't have I just died with them that night?" I asked him, and everything turned black.

~End of Chapter 1 of Rukuso~

A/N: I'm typing "Rukuso" while I'm waiting for my dialer to connect to the internet. (Come ON! Connect!) Just a past-time. So I'm sorry of it turns out short and 'pathetique'. Btw, "turned black" means he fainted, mkay?

_=I'm going to tell you something interesting...I don't own HxH and its characters. Cool, huh?=_

Rukuso

>>Not my Life, but the life of a survivor>>

~/the past : memories: thoughts/~

~*~

I woke up in my room, a warm towel on my forehead. No one seems to be in here with me, and I can hear noises from the dining room. The windows were closed and I can't see the sky outside. The room was dark.

What has happened? I don't remember a thing...

I fainted, was that it? Or have I..?

~/I was walking last night, only semi-conscious, a blank look on my face. I was remembering...the genocide. How everything came about, and the reason I lived...no, that's not entirely true. I'm not alive now.../~

I got out of bed, the damp cloth falling on the floor as I did. I didn't notice it, I silently made my way out of the room. I felt hot, burning. I must have a fever.

~/I'm not alive anymore, not really. This whole ordeal...why did the gods allow me to escape? Why didn't I just die? Why? So that I could avenge my tribe..? So what is my life for anyway? If I'm not allowed to live it..?/~

I walked slowly along the single corridor of the house, passing the rooms. The sounds in the dining room stopped, but they very soon resumed. I reached the door, opened it, and went out. No one noticed.

~/No, I musn't be selfish. I have to do this, to continue my quest. This life is a life I just stole from chance. This is not my life, the one I would have had had the Genei Ryodan not destroyed my future...this is the life of the single one who survived./~

The sky was dark purple, just before twilight. I guess I have been sleeping since last night and through the day...

~/But I have not chosen to live this life...have I?/~

I walked towards the woods...but why? My eyes searching for something...for what?

~*~

"Really! I'm sure I heard Kurapika get up!" Gon exclaimed at the dining room table, almost upsetting his glass of orange juice.

"Gon..." Leorio sighed exasperatedly.

"Are you sure, Gon?" Killua asked, taking a sip of his juice. He didn't hear it, but it might be because he was too focused on finishing this meal.

"I am!" Gon replied enthusiastically.

"Even if he is awake, he's not going anywhere, you know," Leorio said calmly. "I think he needs some time alone. If he needs anything, and is too weak to get it himself, he'll call us."

"I'm not sure..." Gon's voice trailed off.

"What's wrong?" Killua asked, finally taking his friend seriously.

"I just feel something's missing...I'll just check on him, onegai?" Gon pleaded.

"Oh, do as you want, but don't get angry with him if he tells you off, alright?" Leorio warned, waving a fork in the air for emphasis.

"Right!" And Gon jumped out of his seat, skidded to the door and run down the hall.

"I wonder what has got into him?" Leorio vaguely muttered.

"And what has got into Kurapika," Killua added. "Leorio, he really fainted?"

"Yeah, must have been the fever. It was as cold as ice-wind..." Leorio affirmed, then had second thoughts. "...to tell the truth though, he looked kind of odd last night, Killua, and he won't look at me no matter how hard I call him. His eyes were staring straight ahead, walking slowly, and he looked...lost."

"Hmm...maybe-" Killua started to reply, but was cut off by a shout from Gon.

"He's not here!"

"Gon, he might be at the comfort room or something," Leorio shouted back, but doubted what he said.

"I checked that first," Gon replied, reappearing at the door to the dining room. "He's not there either. Leorio, the door was slightly open, Kurapika went out!"

~*~

I'm within the woods now, everything is lit only by moonlight. Well, that really didn't matter, I can see clearly in these dark forests...I'm used to it.

~/The forest was just as dark that night. I wasn't afraid one bit, not with my swords in my hands. I waited for them, for my friends, but they never came. I drozed off, I didn't hear the screams, wasn't with them as they died./~

Deeper and deeper I go, still in my light, thoughtless state of mind, a hand clenching by my side, the other brushing away the locks of blonde that covers my vision. A large stone rock shaped something like a bench, appeared in front of me.

~/I could have stayed with them...I could have died with them...and not live this life that is not my own.../~

~End of Chapter 2 of Rukuso~

A/N: What do you think? *sigh* My dialer still won't connect! Now I've finished TW0 chapters already, can you believe it?!

_=Standard Disclaimers Applied...you actually read this? I admire you, my friend.=_

Rukuso

I have once escaped my fate. I'm now the angel of destiny.

~/the past : memories : thoughts/~

~*~

I walked towards the stone and sat down upon its cold, damp surface. It felt hard and coarse underneath my barely clad legs but I didn't care. One hand strayed to the edge of the backrest, tracing something.

Something.

That something was my name: Kurapika.

My fingers lingered over to its left and stopped. It was my best friend's name etched deep into the stone. I just can't quite bring myself to touch it, as if doing so is an act of disrespect...

~/ Traitor...am I but a traitor? Not a survivor or an avenger or anything else, but a traitor? A coward? Some little boy who was so afraid that he run away? I envy you, my friend. You died with the rest of them. You are better off now, feeling neither pain, regret nor hatred. /~

My head aches like hell and I closed my eyes for a moment, trying to clear my mind. It didn't work. In the darkness I only saw my group's grinning faces.

~/ Maybe this was destined? Or was I the one who have deicided this? Most probable was the latter...I chose this. I was to die amongst them but I fled and dodged death. I ran away from my fate... /~

I opened my eyes and stared up at the evening sky. The number of times I have done this with my group of friends...a shiver ran down my spine as I recalled and I looked at my right quickly, checking if anybody was alongside of me. There wasn't anyone. I'd been expecting...

~/ Stargazing, the elders call it, and they actually do encourage it, one of the very few things we young boys like to do that they don't disapprove of. They say it is but the start of the most wisest of the sages...funny, back then we only thought of it as a past-time, a relaxing activity when we can talk to each other. How I miss those days when we would be together almost every single night... /~

I heard a shout through the woods. Finally Leorio and the others have noticed my absence. What to do? I'm not running away from something as simple as this...let them find me if they can.

~*~

"Kurapika!" Leorio shouted again into the air.

"Would you please shut up, Leorio?" Killua said angrily, rubbing his arms together as the air got a bit colder. And, gods, it's not really evening yet.

"What did you say?" Leorio wheeled around, looking at him.

"I said, 'Shut up.'" Killua repeated, then looked over at Gon. "I can't hear him, can you?"

"No," he said, shaking his head. "I can sense movements, but they might just be made by little animals in the forest. He's not speaking so I don't think we'll manage to track him down."

"Hmm..."

"You two!" Leorio exclaimed, then proceeded to shouting his friend's name again. "Kuraaaaapikaaaaa!"

Killua hit him on the head while Gon sweatdropped. "I said 'shut up'! Do you actually think that we'll find him that way? That he'll really answer back?"

"Yes," Leorio replied without thinking and Killua stomped down on his foot before he can shout 'Kuraaaaapikaaaaa!' again. "Ooo-owww!!!"

Gon sweatdropped some more.

"Ki-killua!" Leorio exclaimed angrily, hopping in circles with his sore foot raised. "That hurt! You little baka!"

That comment made, the two started bickering at each other.

"Who's the baka?" Killua snapped.

"You are, you little twerp!" Leorio replied.

Gon sweatdropped some more and finding the two unmindful of his pleas to stop, he shifted his attention to his surroundings. Something caught his eye: a few broken twigs and crushed undergrowth. His eyes lit up.

"Hey, Killua! Leorio!"

The two were still fighting and they made so much noise that they didn't hear Gon. Gon sweatdropped again, sighed, and went into the woods.

~*~

~/ Noise. Rustling. I guess they've found me. /~

I turned to look towards where the noise was coming from. Everything turned still suddenly, but I knew someone was there among the trees. And I also know that I'm being watched close.

~/ Whoever you are, show yourself. Don't hide in the dark, don't hide from what must be...it's no use. You'll just regret it. /~

The chains on my right hand started moving. No, it can't be. I'm sure it's just Leorio and the others there, I mustn't fight THEM...I can't!

~/ So they too don't want to face the future? Then judgement...no escape. /~

My hands started to shake, my aura flowed freely around my body. I felt my eyes glow red and my aura changed as well. I don't understand.

~/ What's happening to me? I ca-can't control...so this is how it's supposed to be? I'm now the angel of destiny? Do I regret escaping my fate so much that now I make sure that no one else escapes theirs? /~

I stood up. Gon stepped into the light and smiled at me. I smiled back at him and I must have looked like the devil for he frowned, surprise reflected on his eyes and staggered backwards. I walked towards him. I needn't undo the chains in my hands, a couple of them were floating in front of me already.

~/ I have never felt this powerful...so powerful that I can even control things as I wish?...wait, wish? Do I wish for this? For Gon's death? /~

Gon's eyes widened and he took another step backwards. Smart kid, he has realized what I am to do, that I am to end his life.

~/ No escape...you can't run away from fate as I had... /~

"Ku-kurapika?" Finally, he spoke, his voice almost inaudible, fear within it.

~/ Death by destiny... /~

I approached him, ready to kill him any second now. "You can't escape destiny. It won't hurt much, I promise." I started to bring down my hand upon him.

"No!" he shrieked.

~/ WAIT! Does destiny necessarily mean death? This is not Gon's destiny! He is yet to find his father! What am I DOIN?! /~

I lowered my hands and staggered backwards, hands clutching my head as all my nerves screamed in pain.

~/ No... /~

~*~

A/N: Haha. Told you I'm demented. This fic's growing crazier with every chapter. This one is not what I had in mind but what the heck? I write what I feel like and right now I'm insane!!! Haha.

-=Standard Disclaimers Applied...*I guess you know wnat that means!*=-

Rukuso

Kill him!

~/the past : memories : thoughts/~

~*~

"Wait! Where's Gon?" Killua suddenly asked, stopping mid-punch.

"Huh? I don't know," Leorio replied, stopping as well. "The heck? He left without us?"

"Nah. You were probably making so much racket that we didn't hear him call us," Killua retorted, waving a hand in the air for emphasis.

"Why you?!"

"Ku-kurapika..?" Killua stiffened, hearing Gon's faint voice.

~/ He sounds so afraid...what in hell happened? /~

"Huh? Killua, where are you going? Wait up!" Leorio called, rushing after the silver-haired boy who was already within the forests in the direction of Gon's voice.

~*~

"Ku-kurapika..?" Gon called me again, approaching me warily as I stumbled backwards against a tree, leaning over it as I clutched my head in pain.

~/ What in the world's happening? Huh? I'm going to...kill Gon? He's my friend! Why in the world was I going to do that? /~

Fistful locks of blonde hair between my fingers...I slid down the tree's trunk and came to sit upon the grassy ground...Stay away, Gon. I'm not safe yet.

~/ You dare name yourself the angel of destiny? Insanity! You can't even take the life of a weaker little boy! /~

"Gon, stay away!"

"Huh? Kurapika, what's happening to you?" Gon asked, throwing caution to the winds as he hurried to my side, kneeling down next to me. "Kurapika?"

~/ What's happening to...me? /~

"Kurapika?"

~/ So how about it? Can't kill him? Come on, prove yourself. You escaped, didn't you? And now you suffer! Atone for your betrayal by stopping others from walking down the path you had! Kill him! /~

"N-no!" I screamed.

~/ Where the heck was that voice coming from? I'm not listening to it...am I? I-I...I don't know what to do!...I need to save Gon...from myself!? /~

"Gon, go!"

"Huh?"

"Just go!"

~/ Kill him! Do I have to explain your reason why you should to you again? Slay him! /~

"Go!"

~/ You're the angel of destiny, you mustn't let him escape! Now kill him before he does! One way or the other, he'll die anyway! If he doesn't...like you, you escaped death and now you have to carry out this task! Do you want your sweet, innocent, little friend be turned into a murderer like you are? /~

"Kurapika!" Gon persisted, now grasping one of my arms. I pushed him away with the other.

"Please, Gon, now!"

~/ Coward. /~

I was too forceful and he fell backwards, almost lying on the ground. He looked so vulnerable already...

~/ Now, Kurapika, now. Strike him! /~

Gon's eye were filling with tears...

The chains rose from their idle position upon the ground, floating in front of me again. I don't seem to have any control of them now...because if I had they won't be doing this now, I'm not that powerful as to be able to make the katanas behind Gon move as well.

~/ My friends' katanas...they're still here after all these years? /~

Gon wheeled around and his eyes widened in shock. Among the swords was a scythe...that looked like the god of death's.

I still sat on the ground, my back against the tree.

~/ What now? /~

~*~

"Killua! Where in the world are you going?" Leorio called and, getting no answer, pounced on the younger boy.

"Get off me, you jerk!" Killua screeched, pinned beneath the bigger male. "I need to get to Gon!"

"Gon?" Leorio muttered dumbly and rolled off Killua.

"Yes, GON," Killua replied in exasperation, brushing off grass stains from his trousers. "I heard him. I'm sure he has found Kurapika already and he sounded like they're in trouble. Come ON!"

"Right!" Leorio agreed, sprinting after the Zaoldyeck.

~*~

"Ready, kid? Your turn. Death."

~/ Wait. That's not me talking... /~

"ku-kurapika? Why?"

~/ Yeah, it's me, not you. You can't handle the task alone yet so I'm...helping you out a bit. /~

"Because, Gon, it's your destiny. To escape death is a VERY awful thing. Look what happened to me! I left when I should have been killed all those years back! And now I'm nothing more than a ghost! A mere body with no soul, a heartless boy with no purpose in this world...now I have though...I love you so much that I'm going to spare you this suffering by making sure you die..!"

~/ I don't need you to talk for me! Stop it, whoever - whatever - you are. Gon's my friend, I'm not about to kill him! It's not his time yet, he hasn't fulfilled his destiny. This is NOT how his life is supposed to end. He still has a long way to go! /~

I started to get up. I really didn't have any control. On my own, I would have been to weak to stand up, but now I'm already approaching Gon...chains floating wildly beside me...

~/ Shut up and stay still. I'll finish this for you. /~

"Kurapika, you're not a ghost, you're not soulless and you're not heartless...you're my friend."

Gon rushed forward and hugged me. The chains started to circle us.

~/ Friend... /~

And the chains fell to the ground along with the katanas...

~/ It was my destiny to be Gon's friend. I HAD to escape the genocide to meet him and the others. Nothing was a mistake and I didn't betray them...and I'm not about to betray my new friends now. /~

And I had control over my body again. I blinked and looked down at Gon who had his eyes closed, gripping me tightly, before shifting my eyes to the ground.

~/ Chain Jail and Judgement...yeah, my chains of hatred... /~

~*~

A/N: Again and again, a mis-sequencing of events. I was planning to let Killua save Gon while Leorio tackles Kurapika but they were too slow! (^_^) Silly me...