Dr Kiebler: Oh yays! Someone is going to die! DEATH! YAYS!
The respective lance of each man nears closer and closer to the other with neither man backing down. Juan Shan, being the African-American male that he is, of course, has the high leaping ability, as well as a great amount of speed. Playboy, on the other hand, being the current Las Vegas style rich boy with everything given to him, has the world at his feet. Both men have everything to look forward to.
Playboy: This is it... I'm going to beat this guy and then buy my mansion!
Juan Shan: As soon as I own dis lil' loser, I could promote da ShanWear here in Rome, and den move on to wherever and get crunk! And den I could keep some of dese jewels!
Hardcore K: Are they moving in slow motion or is it just me?
Jack Knife: Well, that middle bar is pretty big, K. They were at opposite sides of the pit.
Hardcore K: Bah! I, Hardcore K, would have already been at the other guy's end, lanced him to death, and would have been walking out by now. These idiots... ugh!
While the two paid (and by paid, I mean Dr Kiebler offered them life or death - life, in which case they performed the duties necessary to appeal to the Chief Event Coordinator) announcers continue to blather on about nonsense, Juan Shan and Playboy become closer and closer as they continue to dash.
Pazuza: Actually... did you think this was the right choice, Dr Kiebler?
Dr Kiebler: Silence, female! Of course it was! Now watch and love the pain! Oh yays!
Pazuza: Yes, but someone might really DIE...
A mischievous grin spreads across the megalomaniac's face as Juan Shan and Playboy begin to tilt their lances towards each other. Their eyes lock together as if they were staring a gaping hole through themselves in order to attempt to make the opponent back down - which does not happen.
Juan Shan: Dis be it, boy... betta go wit da plan...
Playboy: Not on my watch, n--
*CRACK!*
In a motion of ketchupy goodness, Playboy's upper body jerks backwards and
takes him off of his feet. His lance jabs The Blackinese Wonder in the left arm,
thus making it break and release shrapnel. Playboy, although he took a hard hit
to the forehead via ketchup plus lance, is still alive and breathing.
Unbeknownst to Dr Kiebler, that is.
And The Winner Is...
