*Note all entries are added cronicological order from the begining of the month to the end. (dd/mm/yy)
This is my first official entry. It is now 12:12 am, May 1st, 2001. I'm currently at my parents, which is not in Ottawa. I leave for Ottawa first thing this morning. Which is another 9 hours from now. I just wanted to mention that I watch Queer As Folk with my mother tonight. I was alone at the time, hoping no one was going to walk in. But she did. She sat down and asked me what I was watching. I didn't tell her. But she clued in with all the kissing between men. Plus seeing Emett in Drag. She didn't say anything nor did she ask why I was watching it. Whew! But I quickly decided, if she asked too many questions, I would just tell her that I was gay. But it never came to that. I'm not out to my family by the way. Just to one of my brothers. Well, I'm off to bed. I have a long day ahead of me. I'll inform you all on my travels. I'm taking the train to Ottawa and I have a 2 hour lay-over in Toronto. Maybe I'll check out one of those 25 cent video booths, eh Dragan? (Hey, I've got to keep this real! I'm sparing no one with my log! :)
(03/05/01) Last night I had an unusual dream. I had a sex dream. With another guy of course. The odd thing about it was, I was with Israel. Israel is a guy that I used to know about a year ago. He's about 5'11"-ish, 170-80 pounds, brown hair and eyes, cute. When I first met Israel I thought he was cute, but after awhile, as you get to know somebody for who they really are, those same cute features, seem to disappear. Anyway, back to the dream I had. I can't exactly remember clearly, but he was pretty much naked to begin with. All he was wearing was a black pair of dress pants. We started to kiss first, and then I remember him lying on top of me and we were rubbing up against each other and kissing. The next thing I remember is Israel unbuttoning my jeans and then taking out my **** and sucking on it. For a brief second I was thinking, "What are you doing? I'm your friend." But you think I'd listen to self reasoning? Heck no! So here I was, enjoying a blow job from Israel, when out of the blue, I get up and go to the bathroom. I don't even remember coming or anything. After I went to the bathrooom, I remember seeing Israel standing in front of me asking me what was wrong. Hmmm, and that's pretty much it for that dream, just thought I would share it with you all.
11:22pm. Well... I arrived in Ottawa this evening around 7ish. I expected this huge rush of warm familiar feelings to over come me. But nothing like that happened. Ottawa was just Ottawa. I was suppose to leave for Ottawa on Tuesday by train, but that didn't happened. My parents offered to drive me today. So I accepted. The drive up was okay. I started to read Stephen King's, "The Shining" this morning, and I read half the book in 7 hours. I impressed with myself. So, figuratively speaking, I should finish the second half within 7 hours as well. I don't have anything else to report for right now, so I'm going to bed.
(05/05/01) 3:17pm. I've called Marc while I was down at Rideau Centre. I was completely nervous. Marc is a guy who responded to my ad online. I placed an ad before I left London, looking for people to hang out with. Marc responded a few days later. All that I know about him at the moment is that he's 20 years old. And he's 6'1" and 200 lbs, I think. When I called him, I could hear another guy in the background. Marc explained that this was his bestfriend. We've arranged to meet at the Rideau Centre at 6pm, where I'm suppose to call him for him to pick me up. Oh, I also know he lives out near Rockcliffe. I'll keep you informed on how things go this evening.
Sidebar: I just wanted to mention that the Chateau Laurier has the hottest looking bell boys I have ever seen! They look absolutely cute and sexy! I can't resist a guy dressed up in a uniform or a suit, and a bell boy's uniform is a cross of both!
8:03pm. Can we say disaster!? We didn't meet up yet. I went all the way down to Rideau Centre and I forgot Marc's phone number. So I tried to go and see him at this place, but he wasn't there. I finally called him when I got back, (which is now) and we're still going to meet. Here, at my place. Is that a good thing? The good thing about the trip though, was that I bumped into this mysterious fellow (cute too I might add). I saw him earlier today on my way downtown. He was staring at my blue key chain thingy that I have hangin' around my neck. I saw him at UofO at the bus stop. I sat behind him and tried to steal a glance or two, but couldn't. We got off at the same stop and then we both walked up Bank street. I was well way behind him though. But he looked back once on Bank. But as he turned off down his street, he looked back more and more. Hmmm, I wonder if he was checking to see if I was following him. I hope I get to see him again soon.
10:33pm. I just got back from having coffee with Marc. Well actually, I had a hot chocolate and he had a tea. I was really nervous to meet him. And I seemed to shy away from him, and he could pick that up. I appreciate him trying to keep the conversation going. Poor Marc, must of been difficult for him. But I managed to loosen up and say something. The funny thing about the meeting was his sister showed up, whos name I can't remember. Plus I met her boyfriend and some other friend of hers. She's really nice, and I'll probably see alot more of her while I get to know Marc. Oh, there's one interesting thing I learned about Marc, he's bilingual. (I hope I spelt that correctly.) He has a cold so you couldn't really hear his french accent. But he says he has one. I'm looking forward to meeting him again. He invited me over to watch Queer As Folk. And for a second there, I thought I was actually going to miss an episode. (Whew!)
(06/05/01) I'm meeting Kevin today. I've first met Kevin on gay.com about two weeks ago. He seemed like a nice guy so I chatted with him and we ended up chatting for like an hour. After we finished, we decided that we'd meet each other once I got to Ottawa. Well, I've called him, more than once, which is a funny story in itself. I called him around 3:30 this afternoon, he wasn't home, so I left a quick message with his roommate. Then I called after 5:30, he was home. His roommate asked if I'd like to leave a message but I didn/t. I felt kind of dumb and bothersome, but she must of recognized my voice from before, I laughed it off. Then I called him again around 7ish. Kevin was home this time, but wouldn't you know it? His roommate answers the phone. We had a quick laugh and I finally talked with Kevin. We agreed to meet each other at Lansdowne around 8pm for a walk. Once we got there, we walked along the canal and just chatted each other's ear off. I found Kevin to be a sweet guy. A good listener. It seemed like I monopolized the conversation though. I felt really comfortable around him. Which is a good sign right? I didn't get home til 11:30 and I have to get up for work tomorrow. I'm excited and nervous. I hope, hope, hope there's a least one cute guy I'll work with!
(07/05/01) Well, I've finished my first day of work. I've reunited with Donna aka Deli-cinq. It's been nearly two years since I've last seen her. But when we first met. We hugged each other and that was that. I don't know how to describe it. I guess I've been out of the loop to long. About my job though, it's okay. I'm working with WHMIS. That's pretty much it. There's alot more work to do than I thought. Okay, okay, any cute guys I'm working with? I'm sure that's sitting at the back of everyone's head. Unfortunately no. I'm the youngest one. But I have developed a tinee tiny crush on Rick. He's like mid 40's-plus. But he's damn cute for an older guy. He's witty and funny like a frat jock boy. He doesn't have that bad of an ass either. LOL He dresses real nice too. He wore alot of blue. Navy blue dress pants, light blue dress shirt with a darker silk pattern blue tie. The wasn't dark as his pants, but wasn't as light as his shirt. We took a trip up to the roof and I followed. Which meant that I stared at his ass all the way up. And like I said, Rick has one fine ass! Rick's cute and if there was anyone I'd do in the office, it would be him!
In other news: I'm just devasated! I actually missed my Frist episode of Queer As Folk! I called Marc but he didn't return my phone call. I wonder if he at least recorded it? I bet he already forgot about me! I'm going to give him a call and see what's going on!
(09/05/01)I wanna tell yah... hehehe, I've been chatting with this other guy named Brent through email for the past week. We finally exchanged phone numbers and I gave him a call. Now, I'm sure what I'm about to say is going to come back and haunt me, but he sounds really cute. And he sounds cute too. We had a great conversation. I'm normally shy, but with this guy, I felt good. Cool, comfortable, relaxed. I guess that's a good thing. The weird thing about the conversation was that we talked about "Warhammer". Your probably wondering what the heck that is. Well, I didn't know what it was until I got here. Noel, my roommates boyfriend, who's cute by the way, introduced me to this game. Anyways, I guess it's a big cult and all, except, I never heard of it before. But now you know. Anyways, back to Brent, we now have a same interest in something as well as something to talk about. Brent is 28 years old. I'm not entirely sure what he does. But I'll find out as I get to know him. We made plans to hang out with each other tomorrow night. The plan so far is for me to go over to his place to watch a movie. Sounds simple enough. Well, I'm lazy, so that's all for today! :)
(10/05/01) OMG! what a day. Where do I start. Okay, lets start with when I woke up this morning. I woke up, took a shower, and got dressed. As usual. But I noticed, this itchy feeling at the corners of my mouth. So I checked it out in the mirror, it looked like I had dried skin. So I put on some skin lotion and went to work. Around or I should say after lunch, my skin was irrating me again. So I borrowed some skin lotion from Donna and put that on. It burned. I started to freak out. So I went to the bathroom to check it out. The dry spots seemed to look bigger than this morning. So I went to my boss and told him I was going home. So I did. And of course, by the time I got home, I was fine. (That's what you get when your mom baby's you when you get sick or something). So I was home early with nothing to do. I had several hours before I would meet with Brent. So I went to the KFC down the street and applied for a job. Just for fun. I already have a job that pays really well. But I figured it wouldn't hurt. So I went in and the shift manager as well as the manager freak out and they want to hire me. I have an interview on Monday. What a day huh? But there's a down side to it. Around 8ish, Brent calls and tells me that he's not feeling well. That kind of sucks but oh well. We're planning on getting together on Tuesday. Anywhozel... what else. I went for a walk downtown this evening. I had nothing better to do. I went in search for the Groove. Kevin invited me to go with him tomorrow night. So I figured why not take a quick peek. Of course when I got down there, I was too chicken to go in. But the walk was nice. Well, I'm off to bed. I'm actually tired.
(12/05/01) 6:06pm. Last night was okay. I went out with Kevin to the Groove. It's an okay bar. My impression was good. So I have nothing against it. Call me crazy, but I miss H20 (gay bar in London). There was this guy wearing a red long sleeve shirt walking around the bar last night. It looked like he was cruising. He kept walking by Kevin and myself. Just when I thought he built up the guts to say something to me, he walks away again. Oh well, I'm wary of this guy though, what if he's the town bicycle or something. That's the last thing I need, a bad rep in a new gay community. hehehe. I'm sitting here waiting for the love of my life to show up. Paul is in Ottawa! And he's coming over so we can hang out. I'm going to try and show him a good time and around Ottawa of course! Paul is a guy I met in London. He's cute and I had a crush on him since I first met him. And it got stronger as I got to know him. My favorite memory of him is when I saw him washing dishes. He looked so cute. I just wanted to go up behind him and give him a hug cause he's soooo darn adorable. (sigh) Anyway, he should be here soon. I can't wait. I really want him to spend the night with me. No, I don't want to sleep with him, I just want to sleep with him. Is that a crime? Well, I'm going to end this one here. I'll keep writing as I always do.
(13/05/01)This little boy is very happy! Guess who got his wish to come true! ME! I got to sleep next to Paul. (sigh) Yesterday was awesome. Paul was late initially, he showed up around 7. The first thing we did was to get something to eat at Burger King in the Market. We sat up on the second level and chatted away. The cuttest thing he said or brought up was when he first met me. Which was at my place, back in London. He came with Gab and Eric. Eww, Eric, I can't believe I had to mention his name. Anyways, as I recall, I think Paul was wearing orange cargo type pants. Funny what you can remember. Anyways, Paul brought that up, and as he did, he looked like he got embarassed or something. I thought it was cute of him. After BK, I took him over to Rideau Centre. The mall was closing so we did a quick window shopping cruise through. Then we walked over to Chapters, where we picked up a few gay books, and magazines. We then went to the second floor and read for about an hour. I read the latest articles about Janet while he read articles about Queer As Folk. We picked up this one book about astrology for gay men. We read each others signs. Paul is an Aquarius (I wonder if he took note that I remembered his birthday)? And he read my sign, which is a Sagitarius. That was another cute moment. Then we walked over to the Weston, cause he wanted to check out the rates for pride week. Then I told him about the hot bell boys at Chateau Laurier, so of course, I had to take him over there. When we got there, we went in. This was my first time ever going into the Chateau. We walked around and followed music to this huge ballroom. A bunch of georgous men were sitting in the lobby area, all in tuxedos! There was this completely HOT guy sitting on a sofa, he was in a tux and he was DAMN sexy too! I was staring at him so much, he was staring back at me! Gosh I am sooo bad. We then went up to the top floor and looked out the windows in the staircase. Then we walked over to Club Polo to check that place out, its an okay bar. Small. They played Janet, so of course I had to dance. We left shortly after that. And can you believe what happened to me on the way out? It was so damn dark in there, I saw this guy walking ahead of us, and he turned, so I turned, and I ended up in the bathroom behind him. I could have died. I felt so stupid. Anyways, Paul and I went over to the Groove, where we danced up a storm! Oops, I forgot a major part! On the way over to the Groove, Paul had to use the phone, so we stopped and after he was finished he told me he was locked out and asked me if he could stay at my place. I practically fell over! I quickly regrouped from a near fainting spell and played it calm and causal and said "Yeah of course" in such a loser-ish, deseperate tone. Anyways, then we were at the Groove, and blah, blah, blah. The Groove was packed though, busier than Friday night. We left the club around 3ish. And went back to my place. I took him downstairs to my love den and ripped off all his clothes and sucked him dry! NO! As if! I gave him some shorts to sleep in, easy access shorts, and we crawled into bed together. It was so sweet. We chatted for a bit about nothing in particular and were both asleep by 4am.
The next morning was nerve wrecking. Gina knocked on my door to ask me to move the car that was blocking her from coming out. So I said okay. So I nudge Paul and tell him to get him. I was really nervous, I didn't know what Gina was going to think. So we went up stairs and Gina laid eyes on him. She didn't do anything, but when I was watching her, she didn't want to look up at Paul because she kind of new it was going to be a guy. Well Paul let her out and he pulled back in and we went back to bed. We woke up around 12ish and I could hear Noel stirring up stairs. We both took showers, seperately, and we were on our way around 1:30pm. The night before, I suggested that I would show him to a few gay stores on bank. So we checked out all three. I found a necklace I want to buy, it's a rainbow necklace. And I also found this Steve Walker print that I want to buy as well. It's a painting of two men in shirts and ties. And one of the men is tying the other man's tie. It's sooo cute. And it reminds me of Gaurav. (<--Long story, I'll explain later.) But in a nut shell, he's a straight guy I fell in love with. And that picture reminds me of the time Gaurav was tying my tie once. Anyways, I'm getting off topic, we then walked over to Rideau Centre again and actually walked into the stores. After that, we walked down to Taco Bell and grabbed something to eat. I was getting awfully tired by this point, it was about 6ish. But we took a quick walk around Parliament. Paul has never been that close before, which was kind of cute. Then we ended our little tour at that flame thingy and tossed in coins. To finish off the night, we rented "Kiss Me Guido" at my place on my bed. The night came to an end around 11 that night. I was sad to see him go. I didn't want him to go. And I was too shy to say anything about how I felt for him. So I just gave him a simple hug and watched him go. But he said he's going to try and make a trip back. I just hope its soon.
(14/05/01) What a horrible night. So Gina came down while I was watching Star Wars and she brings up the whole subject about Paul sleeping over. She looked confused and hurt. She opened up the subject by saying: "I'm assuming your trying to tell me something when you had that guy over, but I'm not sure, I'm guessing your sexual preference is that you like people of the same sex." She couldn't even say 'gay' right away. I felt really stupid. My first instinct was to just deny everything. But she continued to say: "At first I thought maybe he was just a friend, but I'm sure he would have slept in the spare bed." And then I replied to that with, "He's a friend of mine from London, he had no where else to go." And then she just came right out with the whole 'gay' thing. "Are you gay? or bi? Cause if you are or aren't just tell me. I don't want you to have to keep anything a secret. Are you gay or bi?" And I just felt sooo humilated and embrassed, I just laughed nervously and said 'I dunno'. And then she sounded fed up and said: "You don't know?" But to make a long story short, I ended up telling her that I was, and that no one new, especially my parents. And I reassured her that I wouldn't "bring back anyone for a casual anything." But after she left, I felt so alone, so small. I felt like scum and ashamed. I didn't know what to think or process what had just happened. One thing was for sure, I didn't want to go upstairs and face both Gina and Noel. So I ended up staying downstairs for about 2 hours before I went up stairs. I was completely mortified and humilated. I kept my head down. I called Kevin right away. I needed someone to talk to! I needed some sort of support, and thankfully, he was free and available. He came right over and picked me up and we talked about it. I feel much better now. I think I just needed to know or be reassured that I wasn't alone in this, and I'm not.
(16/05/01) Things are back to normal around here again. The initial shock of coming out, or should I say, yanked out of the closet. It'll just be a matter of time before I start to slowly bring boys into the subject when I talk with Gina. It's going to be a bit awkward, but I'll get use to it, as well as she. You know something? Now that Gina and Noel know, I don't care who knows now. I finally have that freedom feeling know. That's why I've decided to start coming to my co-workers, wish me luck!
(18/05/01) Brent called me last night.He called me around 10 o'clock. I was already in bed. Trying to sleep. We talked for about a half an hour. We've decided to meet up sometime this weekend. Tomorrow is my first day of work. I'm kind of excited. I hope I have fun.
I got to leave work early today. I worked some over time on Tuesday, so I was able to leave work an hour and half early. Which was cool. It rained all afternoon, so that was a bummer. I didn't get much of a chance to do anything. I've mentioned to Christina aka Jaws about my 'HOTTIE'. That's what I call the extremely cute guy at work. I don't know his name yet, and I've even had a few chances to look at his name tag. But its difficult to read the small letters. But soon boys, soon, I'll know his name. Oh! I should just clarify things a bit, I didn't tell Christina that my 'HOTTIE' was a guy. So she thinks it's a girl. But when the time is right, I'm just going to point out to her one day, "There's goes my 'HOTTIE'", and she'll look and see that it's a guy. Cool eh?
P.S. I must say, I'm dissapointed in the finale of Will & Grace. No cliffhangers, no twists, nothing to look forward too, nothing. Just a regular one hour episode.
(19/05/01) Today was my first day at work. And let me tell you. I was horrified at what happens in there! But I'm not going to go into much detail. Cause it's my goal to become a shift manager or something and straighten that place out! I've already talked to the assistant manager about and she said she's going to talk it over with the manager. But can you imagine if I was? That would be awesome. I'm sure alot of the current employee's will be a bit dumbfounded or even weary of a new guy becoming a shift manager so soon. But I'm more than qualified.
Nothing else exciting has happened to me today. I'm really exhausted, I think I'll just watch Star Wars and call it a night, my gawd, it's only 8:30!!
(20/05/01) 6:53pm I've just finished my second day at work. And my what a day it was. Both managers are seriously considering promoting me as a shift superivisor. Which is great! I'll have more responsibilities. Noel said: "Promoted on the second day, at this rate, you'll own the place in a month". We had this new guy come in today, and boy oh boy is he a cuties. He has beautiful forearms! dark blonde or light brown hair, depending on how you look at it, I think he has blueish eyes. I'll have to take another look at him, my next shift. I started to train him a bit. His name is Terris. I hope thats how you spell his name. Anyways, as a stupid hopeless soul I am, I fall in love easily. I hope he's gay! Brent called me today. I called him back and we've planned on going down to the Groove to watch some sort of 'goo' wrestling. Oh well, as long as I get to meet Brent. I've been emailing and calling him for so long, I don't even know what he looks like. Well, I'm going to end this one here, I'll keep in touch.
(21/05/01) Oh my gawd! You'll never guess what happened to me last night. Well, I went down to the Groove to met up with Brent. He was a bit late. We went into the bar and the wrestling thing is cancelled. So we played a few quick games of pool before deciding to go to Centretown Pub. So we got there, got drinks and went to the back patio. We sat back there chatted about whatever. And the topic of sex came up. So I went with it, I'm not usually the type to openly talk about sex with a stranger. But he seemed interested. If you haven't guessed where I'm going with this, let me spell it out for you. I wasn't interested in Brent the way he was starting to get interested in me. I don't want to sound like an asshole. But I was getting kind of bored talking with him. Anyways, there was this one guy that caught my eye. I think he's a native, he had long hair. He was cute and mysterious looking. I kept looking his way and everything. I finally got up to grab a drink, but guess who's right behind me? Brent. So I'm sure that cute guy must of thought we were together or something. Anyways, later on in the evening, that cute guy left his seat. I didn't know where he went. So I suggested to Brent that we go check out the second floor. I've never been to Centretown Pub before, so it was a valid request. Once I got up there though, I saw my cute guy making out with another guy. I was kind of disappointed. That is... until he opened his eyes and then looked at me while he was still making out. But again, who was right behind me? Brent. So his eyes closed right up again. Brent then asked me if I wanted to see the third floor. I said okay, and off we went. There really wasn't much up there. Brent told me about the 'back room'. I was a bit curious, I was having flash backs of scenes from Queer As Folk, so of course I had to go and check it out. Brent led the way, and walked right in. The room was quite bright, and I felt stupid, so I turned right around and bumped into some guy who was on his way in. I felt really stupid then, and I said to the guy, "Oh, your going in?", and I walked past him. I felt stupid and ashamed and I started to laugh. After that, Brent and I went back downstairs to the 'cell block' part? I think that's what the bar is called. Anyways, my cute guy is still making and out and stuff, and he glances over at me. Maybe it was because he was interested in me more, or he was checking to see if I was still gawking at him, LOL. I did my best to look single, but it was kind of hard. Then my cute guy went downstairs and I told Brent that I had to go to the bathroom and I'd be right back. So I went downstairs, and guess who I run into on the way down? My cute guy! I felt kind of stupid, so I kept on going down. Then I paced a bit and then went back up. I took a quick glance around on the main level before I went back up to the 'cell block' part and I saw him again. And he looked right at me. But me being the big idiot I am, I shy away and go back upstairs. And that was the last I've seen of him. Hopefully I'll see him again. Anyways, back to why I'm even typing anything today, after the bar, Brent invited me over to his place. I asked him for what, and he said, to watch a movie, talk or whatever. I had this feeling where this was all going. But I said sure why not. So we got to his place, and sat around for a bit before I ask if I could check my email. So I did that, then I chatted on gay.com for a bit with a friend from London, Tim aka Judge. During this time, Brent left to go use the bathroom, when he came back, I could smell toothpaste or something. Then I finished with chatting around 2:50-ish. And Brent and I went into the living room. And he asked what I wanted to do. I didn't know, but it was getting pretty late. Then he offers me to sit down, so I do. And he sits next to me. And then asks me again what I want to do, and I said I dunno, but I was starting to feel uncomfortable, so I said, it's getting late, and I have to go to work tomorrow. And then he just pops out the questions, "do you wanna make out first?" I was shocked. What do you say in a situation like that? I told him no, and he drove me home. I felt kind of embarassed for him. But I guess you have to admire a person who would build up the guts to do something like that eh? I dunno. I hope this doesn't jade our friendship, we're suppose to get together on Thursday evening. Anways, that's the big story. That's the latest in my life. How about yours?
(23/05/01) 8:28am. Morning everyone. Whew, somebody put me back to bed. I'm tired. I worked last night at KFC, and it sucked. I got stuck cooking the chicken again. And guess what? I've got to do it again on Saturday. But I think I'm going to quit KFC. I just absolutely hate working back in the kitchen. But I'm sick and tired of talking about that place. The reason I'm writing so early in the day is because I had this incredible dream last night. I can't really remember the events that led up to the part I liked, but I was in bed with Tre. Tre is from the lofters. If you want to see him, check him out on the Life Network at 9:30pm, everyday! (If that wasn't a plug, I don't know what is.) Anyway, I was in bed with Tre, and some other girl was there. I think it was a girl, and I don't know what significance she has either. But she was there. Anyways, we were all talking about something or other. Tre and I were on one bed, and right across from that one was another, and that's where the girl was sitting. So we're talking, but the point being, Tre was coming out of the closet or something. I think he was telling that girl. I remember him laying on his stomache, and I was kind of laying next to him, with my head on the back of his shoulder. His skin was warm and it felt real. I remember rubbing my cheek against his skin, and smelling him. He smelled... well, he smelled like a man! LOL Then I remember putting my arm over him, trying to comfort him or something, cause he just came out. Then he grabbed my hand, and he started to suck on my finger. And that felt real too! Too real! So I started to get a chubby and I felt kind of stupid so I started to move my hips away from him, thats when I realized I was naked and he was naked. And all the while, Tre is sucking on my finger like he's going down on me, and it feels so good, and I wanted the feeling to keep on going, but I woke up! Can you believe that!? I was awake and soooo mad! And I didn't dream about him after that! I must of been thinking in my dream, "Somebody please wake me, cause I must be dreaming". So, for once, I get my wish, I get my pinch and wake up! AARRGGHH!!
(26/05/01) 9:18pm. I'm just about ready to go out for the evening again. I got my first pay cheque yesterday so I'm aimed to having some fun tonight. I've got tons to say, so I'm going to do my best to make it the short version. Yesterday afternoon, I decided to give Geordie a call. Geordie is a guy I met the last time I was in Ottawa. I didn't know if he would remember me or not. But I called him anyway, and would you know, he didn't remember me. So to make a long story short, Geordie suggested we meet at the Bottoms Up. It's a little gay bar I never heard of. It's not even listed in FAB, that free gay magazine. Anyway, I was surprised at what I saw when I got there. Anyway, so I go to Bottoms Up and met Geordie. He remembered me thank god. We stayed at the bar, and I met quite a few guys, and then some. Let me tell you, if you don't know what Bottoms Up is, it's a gentlemen's club. They have these hunky male dancers that... well you know. To make a long story short, I had a blast and made a few new friends in the process, who could ask for more? Today, I woke up with a mild hang over and went to work for 8 hours. Man, today was a really long day. After work, I came back home, took a shower, and Tania needed someone to go with her to this jazz concert. I'm like: "Man, I don't want to go to a jazz concert". But I put my selfishness aside for a second and agreed to escort her for the evening. (Ain't I a nice guy?) Well... let me tell yah, the concert was sold out and she didn't pre-buy tickets. So that was cool. Saved by the bell. So I suggested we go and have dinner. So we did that, we went to Nichol's in the market. It was good food. I had fetucini alfredo. After that, we went back to my place and now here I am. Tania went back home herself. Which takes me up to the present time. I'm getting ready to go back to the Bottoms Up. It's not that bad of a bar. Plus I think Derek is unbelieveably sexy! He's so perfect it... it... makes me sick, makes me sick that I can't have him. Well at least, the way that I want him. I could always ask him to dance for me. But that would be weird though, cause, he's really nice and I'd feel awkward asking a dance from him now. Anyways, I think I'm going to call Dragan cause I have some time before my bus arrives. I haven't heard his voice in nearly a month. Later.
(28/05/01) I didn't feel like going to work today. I called in sick this morning. I'm too tired. I've got to spend sometime and recooperate from my weekend. Last night, Gina and I talked for like 4 hours about me. It was kind of ok, but I felt like I was answering questions on behalf of all gay men. So it was kind of hard, but hopefully I did 'us' justice. Anyways, let me tell you about yesterday, cause what a day that was!
To start things off, Marc and I had made plans to get together on Sunday. So he called me at 11:30am to wake me up, and he came to pick me up. Our first plan was to watch a movie. So we went out to SilverCity. Nothing was playing that interested two gay bois. So we went to St. Laurent to do some shopping. I was in the shopping mood. So we were there for like 30 minutes. I bought two CD's, Our Lady Peaces's lastest and an imported CD single of All For You by none other miss Janet. Then we passed the GAP and Marc bought a pastel green shirt. It looked really nice. Then he tells me, "I'm not buying anything else. I can't believe you made me buy this." And I'm thinking, "huh mister sister?" And I asked him if he had a serious problem with shopping, he said no. So I thought, we'd continue shopping cause I wasn't finished. But when Marc says he's not buying anything else, it means we're both done shopping and it's time to go. How stupid am I? Of course that means it's time to go. So he drives me over to his place, and I have a quick flash back of what Brent does to me, and Marc puts his new shirt on. Then he suggests that we go to Casino D'Hull. I said no and that I didn't like gambling, and that I wanted to go shopping. So he agrees and we go to shopping at Rideau. On the way to Rideau I suggest that a pair of pure white kahkis would look great with his new shirt. So I kind of set him on this shopping mission. Now the funny thing is, is that Marc was really excited about it. So we get to the mall, and guess what we do, especially after I suggested going shopping, and that it was something I wanted to do? We we're busy looking for his stupid white kahkis! We went from store to store, looking for his crap. And he started to get flustered. I think he has a shopping disorder, cause the closer he got to buying something, he have an anxiety attack. I think Marc couldn't afford to shop that day. Anyway, that soured my shopping mood, I did pick up a pair of these fabulous sandals, which I love! But that isn't the worst of the story. Earlier that day I tell him about Terris and how much I'm obsessed over him. Well, you'll never guess who's roaming about downtown... Terris! He was walking towards us with his buddy, and I turned and said to Marc, "hey there's a guy from work. The one that I like, Terris?" And Marc says cool, are you going to say hi? And I realize who I was with, I was with this obviously gay flamer and panicked. So I said no. And I looked back at Terris and he's turned in the opposite direction, walking away from us. So I did the same thing. But not Marc, he says, "Come on! Don't be such a scare-dee-cat." And he starts to walk after Terris. I said no, and kept on walking. So what does the inconsiderate Marc do? He yells out my name, and he sounds really gay too, "Chad!?" And I turned around to get pissed off, and when I do, Terris turns around too, and I think he saw me. So then I panicked again and run around the corner! I felt sooo stupid. I have no idea what Terris is thinking. Now I'm nervous seeing him at work, I don't know what he saw, or heard. And I hate Marc for embrassing me. Needless to say, I got fed up with him and we left.
When I got home, I find a message on the phone from Dan. Dan is a guy I knew from London, but he moved out here for school. So it's been over a year since I've last seen this guy. So I call him up and he wants to get together. Which we do. But before I meet up with him, I wanted to get one of those beaded rainbow gay necklaces. So I went to One in Ten to pick one up. You see, Dan doesn't know I'm gay, so I figured this would spark up a conversation of why I have one of these kinds of necklaces on. I took him to Nichol's down in the market. I think he saw the necklace, but didn't know what it meant, so he went on talking about girls... Then we then we watched "Kingdom Come", it started LL Cool J, Whoopi, Vivica A Fox, Toni Braxton... blah, blah, blah. After that, I went home, and I didn't get hom until after 10pm. And that's when me and Gina talked for 4 hours and that takes back to the beginning! Whew! Day-um this took forever, sorry for making you read it all.
(31/05/01) OH MY GAWD!! I just realized that it's the end of May! I've been doing this for one whole month! Wow, time sure does fly by. Ok, I just wanted to tell you what happened last night. Terris and I had over lapping shifts. So I went into KFC early so I could have a chat with him. Thank god Terris was in a chatty mood. We talked about working at KFC, and that he likes his job. I finally built up some guts and started to ask some questions. I asked him where he was from, which is orginally 30 mintues out of Ottawa, but he has a place here in the city. He's a pub type of guy, which also tells me he's older than 19 right? Cool. Hmmm, I can't remember what else we talked about, but my eyes sure got a hefty does of Terris' arms and ass! Day-um! I love this boy! I chatted with him for about 20 mintues before my shift started. It was great! I work with him again tonight. To come to think of it, I should check to see when he gets off. He gets off a half hour earlier than I do. I wonder what he's doing after work. I think I'll go to work early and try to weasel into his plans tonight, or make some of our own. I'd love to hang out with Terris Anyway, I forgot to mention earlier, like on Monday, that Terris was wearing this res sexy tight T-shirt, the kind that fit snug around the biceps, and it was a Canadian Rowing T-shirt or something. But I'm bring this up now, because he wore that shirt again last night. Hmmmm, day-um! I could eat him alive!
I also saw this other hot guy last night. Thank god we ran out of chicken, cause he wanted to wait until it was done. Let me tell yah, this guy was black or part black. He had a great skin color, light, light as Will Smith, maybe a tad bit lighter. He was bald, and he work a dark purple suit. It was a beautiful dark purple, don't be thinking it's a pimp purple or anything like that, this purple was rich and dark. He filled out this suit beautifully. I kept checking him out when he wasn't looking, and while he was looking. He caught me. Oh well. What can you do huh? Great lips, great eyes, great voice. This guy was beautiful, just a little on the short side. Well... that's about all for today, I'll write with the results of this evening, probably tomorrow.
