*Note all entries are added cronicological order from the begining of the month to the end. (dd/mm/yy)
(02/03/03) You'll never believe what happened to me last night! I can't believe it myself. Well let me tell you, but I'll of course, have to start from the beginning.
Well, as much as I'd had to admit it, I started off on the wrong side of the bed. I was a bit of a bitch. Hey, try not to blame me too much. I was still trying to adjust to living with Dragan. It's not an easy thing! Well anyway, I woke up starving and we haven't gone to the groccery store yet. So I called up Marshall to see if he wanted to go out for breakfast. He said that he would. I told Dragan that we were going out for breakfast and that we were meeting Marshall downtown. That was fine too, although Dragan had to stay behind because he had to wait for the cable guy about his internet connection. Well, considering he had some time before the cable guy got there, I asked him if he could drive me downtown. He didn't, the cheap-cheap-cheapo! I kind of got bitter with him. (Don't worry, I've already slapped myself on the hand for being bad).
Anyway, I had to take a cab downtown, which wasn't all that expensive. I meet Marshall on the corner of Elgin and Queen. We decided to grab some pasta in the Market. We went to Oregano's. Which, I feel is the best place to grab pasta. They normally have this buffet, and we were in luck because it was still going. Actually, as I found out, they have it all day on weekends. Which is SWEET! Anyway, we chow down and get the low down on what Marshall has planned for the rest of the day.
Well, since his sister in law was in town for conferences, she wanted to go and visit Fern. So Marshall made plans for dinner with them. Which kind of sucked for me because I had nothing to do other than to go back home to Dragan, just kidding again! Well, as with Marshall there is always loop holes. Since he didn't hear back from Fern he was just going to assume that they were not going to go through with dinner. So I talked him into taking a walk down Rideau, towards Vanier. We wanted to go check out this dance studio and get some information on dance classes.
We managed to make it down to DanceZone and got his information he wanted. I think convinced him to drive out to St. Laurent, so we hopped a bus and we were off. We first went to Winners and did some clothes shopping. Although this may sound corney, we picked out identical outfits. We were both looking for the same clothes in different sizes. As it turned out, we only got the same pair of jeans. What we really wanted to do was pick out an outfit for later that evening, because we were all going to go out.
By the time we finished with finding jeans, we were pretty tired and we must of spent well over an hour in Winners. We walked over to Zellers because Marshall need to pick some stuff up. And I was in the market for a new bed sheet considering Dragan destroyed my other one! hehehe
We roamed around Zellers for about 45 mintues gathering this and that and by that time I was really tired. We walked over to St.Laurent to catch a bus back home. Oh, but before we caught a bus, we walked into the liqour store, Marshall wanted to buy something for later that night. When we got there, we noticed a cute check-out boy. And to my astonishment, that cute boy shared the same name as me! Can you believe it? After that, we were off. We both planned on taking short naps before getting ready. I told Marshall to give me a call later that evening before he came over.
Did I forget to mention that Dragan and I were having everyone over for some drinks to show them the new place? Well that was the plan. Anywhooch, I went home and tried to make the liqour store at Billing's Bridge. I wanted to get some wine that they didn't have at St.Laurent. However, the store was closed. So I walked home. Apparently, I had just got in shortly before Dragan did. We started to talk about later that night. I told him that I didn't get a chance to get anything to drink. He assured me that he bought enough stuff and that he bought wine too! Which was this really cheap stuff, that I didn't like. I asked him to drive me to the liqour store so I could get something, but he said NO! I was totally bitter again. So I told him that I wasn't going to drink at all and not go out and for him to have a good time without me. Of course the little bitch said ok!
Anyway, I chilled out in my room for about 30 minutes and decided to go to the liqour store myself. So I grabbed my shoes and coat and started walking. I walked to Bank street and managed to catch a bus there. I walked in and decided to buy two bottles of White Merlot by Jackson and Triggs. I bought a large bottle and a small bottle. I paid for my stuff; the check out girl put the bottles in a bag and I was off. I started to walk back down Bank street towards home. Except that, I didn't want to walk all the way home. So I started to walk to the nearest grocery store to catch a cab. Cabs are usually around grocery stores right? Anyway I'm almost there, near the corner of the building, and I slipped! It happened so fast! I didn't have a clue what happened.
I was carrying the bottles with my left hand, and that's the direction in which I slipped. I land on the ground and I heard one of the bottle break. I started to get up quickly from embarassment and started to notice this stream of red stuff shooting out my hand! I kind of panicked and realized that I had cut myself. Man, did I really feel stupid. So I quickly added pressure to my wound and picked up my 'wine bag' and started to walk towards the store.
I put my bag on a snow drift and walked inside. I went to my left and walked towards customer service and asked for help. The guy looked at me and took me towards his sink. (I was in the photo lab section at this point). We put my hand over the sink and I started to wash out my wound. I started to freak out about glass. Did I get any in my hand? I couldn't tell. I was bleeding like mad! The guy brought out the first aid kit and started to wrap up my cut.
I started to accept the fact that I would probably have to go to the emergency to get it checked out. I had to call Dragan! I knew that he was sleeping. I just hoped that he would pick up the phone. Well I called and called. I left a message on the phone and kept on calling until he picked up. Finally he did and I briefly told him to come and pick me up and take me to the hospital because I cut my hand. So he said he would. I asked if I could sit down because I was starting to fell faint. I didn't think that I was losing that much blood, but nonetheless, my vision was starting to get dark.
While I was waiting to show up, the guy started to clean up. He got a mop out and started to look for any drops that I might have left behind on my way in. He also got a garbage bag and went outside to get my broken bottles. About 15 minutes later Dragan finally showed up. I walked slowly out towards his car, I was starting to feel a bit better. The guy brought out the garbage bag and put it in the car. Then we drove off to Riverside Hospital.
Ugh, I'm not going to bore you with what all happened at the hospital because we were there for 6 hours! Can you believe that? 6 hours! So what I'll do is tell you a few major highlights. First, upon admittance, a nurse rewrapped my cut and sent me down to get x-rays to see if I had any glass in my cut. So Dragan and I went to go do that. When I got there, there was this really cute nurse/x-ray guy there. He's probably a doctor in training. He also shaved his head, but he was still cute though. I got my x-rays right away. Then we walked back to the waiting room. Next, another nurse asked to speak with me to get me registered or something. She was a lesbian because she had on a rainbow sticker. She was really nice. After that, we sat and waited for my name to be called. And boy did we ever sit and wait! Dragan was getting totally annoyed. He wanted to go out, but I wouldn't let him. I didn't want to sit there by myself! So he sat there and complained. Then he started to tell me that he was just going to leave. So I finally told him that if he wanted to go, that he could just go. Then he asked me, "do you really need me to stay?" I told him, "I would like for you to stay, but if you want to go out and get drunk without me, then go ahead". He just got more pouty and just stayed. He finally told me hours later that he was just trying to get me mad so I would send him away. I told him that it wouldn't work because I wanted him there.
Just after midnight, I finally got called to go back into the emergency room. Dragan pushed me on a wheelchair to the back. We get back there and there is a guy next to me who's getting some work done. I'm not entirely sure what was going on, but I think they were operating on his penis. If I'm not mistaken, I think the doctor said he might of gotten frost bite? I don't know. But I didn't want to listen to it. But I had no choice. After an hour of waiting Dragan got antsey again. He was really threating to leave. He actually put on his coat and walked out of the room. But he came back! :)
Finally around 2:30am in the morning, the doctor came in. He started to talk off the bandage that the nurse put on nearly 6 hours prior, but my blood had dried on the gauze, so when the 'doctor' took off the gauze, it stuck. So what did he do? Just ripped it off, which caused my skin to tear! It hurt so much. All he did was say oops. That's when I turned into a bitch. I wasn't happy that I had to wait nearly 6 hours! So I asked him if he was a student. Dragan couldn't believe I said that. The 'doctor' said to me, "In a way, we are all students". Anyway, this guy didn't do anything. The x-ray didn't show any signs of glass, but he thought that maybe there was something still inside. So he ended up getting another doctor. When that doctor got there, they both poked my wound with pins to see what was inside. As it turned out, it was nothing. So, around 3am in the morning, do you know what they ended up doing? Super glueing my wound! It sounded ridiculous!
But my worrying wasn't over yet because I still needed to get a tetanus shot! And I hate needles. So I asked the nurse man to give it to me in my wounded arm. He just looked at me and said, "Sure, looks like that arm has been shot to hell already". I kind of laughed and I got ready. I didn't want to look at the needle. So he jabbed me with it, and it didn't feel too bad. After that, I was free to go! I was so tired and Dragan was so upset. Well not totally upset. We drove home and I took some tylenol to help me sleep. I've been through a lot and didn't want to stay awake reliving it. Thankfully, I managed to sleep right away. And that's about it!
(03/03/03) My weekend just doesn't seem to stop. I slept okay saturday night. I was aware of my wound in my sleep. I didn't really sleep on that arm, nor did I use it much. When I woke up, I wanted to take a shower but Dragan said that I shouldn't! I only had super glue on my wound. But I had asked the 'doctor' the night before if I was able to take a shower. He said yes, but not to get my wound wet. So I told Dragan that I would wear a bag over my arm. Taking a shower sucked. It was difficult! And it was awkward. Anyway after my shower Dragan wanted to go to IKEA. I suggested it on Friday, but I didn't think he really wanted to go. We were both up early, we woke up around 10am. So we went.
I was alittle bummed out what happened the night before! Oh, I totally forgot to tell you the other day that my cut was fairly deep! It had severed several nerves in my palm. So half my hand is numb! The 'doctor' said that it would take a few months for those nerves to grow back! So that's why taking a shower was awkward. Anyway, being injured was not fun at all. We get to IKEA and honestly, I wanted to be there, just not in my condition. Yeah so I'm being a big baby! But I never get hurt like this! Leave me alone!
Anyway, we started looking at some rugs and I lifted one up, this rug couldn't have wieghed more than 10 pounds, but when I did, it felt like I tore something. I started to panick about my super glue. My cut started to bleed again. I thought, "Oh great!" I didn't want to make another trip back to emergency to have it looked at. So there I am, standing in the middle of IKEA, slightly bleeding because of a small tear in my super glue and I can hear Dragan off to my side saying in a bitchy tone, "Aren't you listening to me? You don't want to be here do you?" And he sounded really annoyed. I totally could have bitched slapped him! Seriously! I told him, that you'd feel alittle bummed out if you had a hole in you hand! I went on to explain to him that I might of tore open the super glue by lifting up that rug. So he seemed to accept that explaination and we started to walk around again.
We ended up picking up a bunch of stuff. Some of the larger items that I had purchased was a small dresser, and an end table that matched the existing set that was left behind by the prior tenants. I also bought 12 glasses, a cutlery set and tea light holders. I bought some other small things too. Dragan also picked up a cultery set and he bought a small lamp and rugs for the bathroom. I didn't buy to much, but I had two large pieces, my bill came up to over 200 dollars! It was insane. Dragan pretty much spent the same amount.
We went back home, Dragan had to start getting ready for work. I was really tired and wanted to take a shower, but I ended up putting together my dresser. I joke with Dragan that I should buy a 12 of beer and invite Tom over to build it for me. But I didn't want to wait for him! He wouldn't have gotten back from his parents until later that night. So I laid everything out on the living room floor and started to put together. Dragan finally got dressed and left around 4:30pm. I was left alone. It took me about 45 minutes to put together my dresser. It was easy, I just took my time because I only had one good hand to use anyway.
After that, I started to get concerned about my cut again. I decided to give Gina a call and ask about seeing her family doctor. She ended up refering me to the Wabano centre, an aboriginal family clinic. Gina also gave me a phone number to a registered nurse hotline. Which I never heard of before, but she told me to call because the service was good. So I got off the phone and called the registered nurse. And Gina was right. The nurse told me a heck of a lot more than the 'doctor' from Saturday night. She told me how to clean it and take care of it. I told the nurse that I would be seeing a doctor about it the next day. She said that was a good idea and that was that.
I didn't do anything for the rest of the evening. I just and watched TV and went to bed. On Monday however, I got up a tad bit early because I was going to go to Wabano. I wanted to leave enough time for me to wait and get treated all before my first class. I got Wabano and I learn that you have to register with them and then have some sort of consultation with on of thier physicians. I was like... crap! The reception girl felt bad for me, so she went and asked some questions and they agreed to see me. Which was really cool! So I got to see a doctor. I told her all about what happened and what the other 'doctor' did. So she looked at it and put some extremely sticky tape over my cut which seemed to pull and close my wound better than glue. She was great! And I was impressed with the compassion and service from Wabano.
I made it to class on time and showed Christine, a girl that's in a few of my classes. And she shows me her scars, because she suffered from carpal tunnel syndrome. She had some surgery scars on the heels of her palms. So I learnt something new that day. Classes weren't too exicting today. And that's pretty much it for now. I have to go to work. I debated on whether I should call in sick, but I figured what the heck, no need to stop living. Well that's all folks... for today anyway!
(07/03/03) Last night was hectic! Dragan and I had planned on inviting everyone over last night to watch the usual TV shows, Friends, Survivor and Will & Grace. The TV shows started around 7:30pm so I wanted everyone to be there before 7:30pm. I called and emailed everyone and they said they were going to show up. So Dragan and I cleaned up a bit and waited. Dragan decided to sneak in a quick nap before everyone got there. I just sat around and waited. And waited. It was nearly 7:00pm and no one was there. I called up Marshall to see what was up. He said that he wasn't really feeling well and was actually starting to debate on whether to show up at all. He said that he has been talking with Tracey and she too was starting to debate on making the trip out. However, Tracey was willing to make a trip out to Marshall's to watch TV there because it was closer. I started to get disturbed because it was ending up that no one was going to come over. I let Marshall go and started to play some SSX Ticky!
Rob called me shortly after I got off the phone with Marshall. Rob told me that he was still at work, and that he still wanted to come over to check out the place, but he wouldn't be able to come around closer to 8:30pm. I said fine and also asked him if he'd be interested in picking up Marshall on his way over. He said that he would give Marshall a call to see what was up. I said fine. All the while this is going on, Dragan was still snoozing away.
7:30pm finally rolled around and I started to watch Friends in my room. That's when Rod called me. He told me that he was making a trip into Ottawa because he was going away for the weekend on some business trip. Since it started to look like our TV marathon was going down in flames, I started to make plans with him. I asked him if he wanted to go out later that night when he got there. He said that he'd think about it, but that he'd give me a call back in an hour when he got into Ottawa.
On that cue, I decided to give Tom a call. So I called up Tom to see what he was doing. I told him that Rod was coming into town and that we may be going out later. So Tom was more than willing to come over. He said that he'd be there in about 30 minutes.
Dragan was still sleeping and I didn't bother to wake him up since there really was no reason to. So I just sat in my room and watched Friends. I didn't even get a phone call back from Rob or Marshall. So I started to accept the fact that they weren't going to come over. Which was fine, because both Rod and Tom where on their way over. So things weren't so much of a waste.
The time flew by, it was nearly 8:30pm and Tom still hadn't come over yet. Which was kind of od, because it never takes him more than 45 minutes to come over. Dragan finally wakes from his slumber and tells me that he doesn't even remember falling asleep. And asked me where everyone was. I told him that I didn't know. No one called me back. I told him that Rod and Tom where on their way over and that we were most likely going to go out. At that point, Rod finally calls me and tells me that he's in Ottawa but wanted to make Wal-mart before it closes, he thought the store closes at 9pm. I wasn't too sure myself, so I told him to hurry up.
Survivor was half over before I heard a knock on the door. I walked to the door, and looked through the peep hole and guess who I see standing there! Marshall, Tracey and Rob! I was totally surprised and not impressed. I let them all in and asked them why no one called me back. I just assumed that no one was coming over. I started to panick because Tom was on his way over and I didn't want Rob meeting him. It bugs me and annoys me when Rob sits and stares at my friends. Anyway, so everyone comes in. Tracey brought along a couple of king cans of bud. She sits down and starts to drink. Everyone else is walking around the apartment checking it out. The tour was short and their was only 15 minutes left of Survivor. And that's when Tom finally shows up. I went to the door and opened it. Rob was sitting on the arm chair which was facing away from the door. Everyone else saw Tom right away, but I think Dragan was the one who yelled out Tom! And I thought great! I took Tom in through the kitchen and started to explain to him that I didn't think everyone was going to show up. No one called when they were suppose to. I told him that Rod had called and that he was in Ottawa and that he was on his way over.
So we walked back into the living room and we both sat on Dragan's hutch thingy. And that's when Rob swung around and looked at Tom. I introduced Tom to everyone and unfortunately to Rob as well. No one else seemed to be interested in Tom, so they went back to watching Survivor. Expect Rob. He just sat there and stared at Tom. That was really bugging me! Of course Rob started to probe into Tom's life, and as much as I wanted to interject, there was a knock on the door! It was Rod!
Rod came in and just nodded to everyone and said hello to Tom. Rod went straight to my room and I followed him there. My mind didn't leave Tom alone for a second. I wanted to go back into the living room to get him, but Rod of course had to vent off about work. You see, the original plan was for Rod to spend the night at my place, then he'd get up to catch his flight. But his boss was waiting for Rod to show up at his place. So this put a damper on our plans for the eveing. Rod had bought a suit-suitcase and I helped him out with his wardrobe for the weekend and helped him pack. I grabbed all the tags and garbage and walked into the kitchen to throw it all away and Dragan comes in and asks me what's up with Rod. I said nothing, I was just helping him pack. Then he asks me if it would be alright if him and Tracey could smoke in the apartment. I told him no! And then he started to negiotate with me, saying that they would open windows and such. I told him that it wasn't fair for him to confront me on this, especially since we had guest. I followed Dragan into the living room and told Tracey that no one would be smoking in the apartment. So she gives me this dirty look and then looks at Dragan. I could have slapped Tracey for looking at me like that, like I was some asshole! But hey, it's my place and I don't want it stinkin' up like cigarettes!
Rod was still in my room and calling me to go back there. I quickly looked at Marshall and saw how sick he looked. I told him that I couldn't believe he actually left his place feeling and looking so bad. He agreed, he wasn't too talkative. I quickly looked at Rob and Tom and overheard Rob asking him about his t-shirt, which had a band name on it. I can't exactly remember which t-shirt Tom was wearing. Anyway, I had to leave and go back to Rod.
I got back there and he continued to talk about work. He's putting up with alot there. He also told me that he may be moving to Toronto for a new job. I thought it was cool. I was really feeling overwhelmed at this point, because I was constantly worrying about poor Tom. So what happened next really didn't make things any better. Dragan comes in with the phone and tells me it's for me. I asked him who it was and he didn't know. So I get on the phone and it was my psycho lab partner! Of all the times she had to call me, she calls me last night. Rod started to annoy me while I was on the phone because I was talking about the report that was due. Rod started to distract me and tell me that he was going to steal something before he left. My lab partner andI started to agrue, so I walked into the bathroom for more privacy. She was going on trying to justify her reasoning for being so difficult. I didn't want to be rude, and I certainly didn't want to call her back to talk about this, I wanted to deal with it. My mind wasn't on what my lab partner was saying, I was too busy trying to listen to what Rod was doing. And it sounded like he was getting ready to leave. I was getting so impatient! Finally I got off the phone with my lab partner and went into my bedroom. Rod had already left. Dragan came into my room again and asked me what was going on. I told him that Rod had to go to his boss' place to do some work, and that he's going away for the weekend. Dragan left. I started to look around the room to see if anything was missing and the stupid jerk stole my headphones!
I walked back into the living room, by this time it was just after 9:30pm. Marshall was really tired and wanted to get going. Rob was also getting tired and wanted to get going himself. He offered to give Marshall a ride home. Tracey decided to jump on the opportunity for a ride so the three of them started to get ready to head on out. I couldn't believe the evening ended so quickly. I didn't get much of a chance to hang out with anyone. I was too busy being preoccupied with something else. Of course before Rob had to leave, he needed to give me a hug. He cornered me into the kitchen where he was struggling to get his arms around me. And that's when Tom comes in. I push Rob away and he backs off. He finally gets his shoes on and leaves. I finally get some piece of mind now that most of everyone is gone.
Dragan, Tom and I sat in the living room and we started to talk about Rob, apologizing for his behaviour. However, Tom said that he seemed like a nice guy. But Dragan and I knew better. We started to fill in Tom in who he really is. How he's always trying to touch you, and hug you, and he's overly interested in people he likes. And that's he's annoying and such. I tried to basically tell Tom that he should be on some sort of guard while talking to him.
(09/03/03)Tom the houseboy. Coming soon!
(12/03/03)I can't believe it. I just can't believe it. My poor little heart was shattered last night. I'll give you one guess of who did, it but I know you won't even need that. Tom broke my heart. Well he didn't really break it, but he sure did scar it.
I called Tom last night because I really wanted to see him. There was no way I was going to be able to focus on my homework, so I called him. We started to chat on the phone at first. We talked about the usual, what are you doing?, what's going on? Stuff like that. Then I get on Dragan's computer and log onto MSN Messenger. And Tom and I started to chat on that. We were both throwing around gay enuendos... I was getting pretty excited.
For example, we were talking about my penis size for one thing. I'm not sure how we got onto that subject, but I made a vague comment on the lenght of my penis and he replies back that I was very flexible. Oh wait, now I remember. We were talking about what we were eating for dinner that night. He was having chinese rice and I was having tator tots hotdogs. And he asked me how my wiener was. And I said he didn't want to know. And somewhere out of that I made the vague comment about my lenght. Anyway, we didn't talk much more about it.
I may be projecting here, but I felt we had a very homosexual conversation. We reflected momentarily on Tom pretending to be gay the other night. But I didn't provoke much of a conversation out of him because I didn't want to make it sound like I was totally interested or slip up on the fact that I wish he was. Anyway long story short, I asked him to come over.
He came over and we played a game of Monopoly. I won of course, and again, I made some quick gay jokes. I started to call the Jail a bath house! And we all know that Tom now knows what a bath house is. We spent the rest of the night channel surfing and watching TV. We also downloaded Jimmy Fallon's VMA opening act. We played some SSX Tricky and that's about it.
It got pretty late, some time after 12:30am before Tom decided to head out. So I grabbed my coat and walked him to the bus stop. It was during this walk that he decided to tear apart my heart. We were almost up to Bank Street when he finally blurts out, "Oh, I -uh, talk with a girl yesterday". I didn't believe him at first and I started to poke fun, saying stuff like, were you talking to the girl next door, his mother, the check out lady in the cafeteria... and so on. But he said he wasn't kidding.
I started to panic somewhat and started to ask questions. I asked him how long this was going on for. And he told me that he has had his eye on her for several months! I was devestated, naturally. I asked him what her name was... and it's... Emilie. He wouldn't divulge much information, the poor guy was affraid I was going to make fun of him. He didn't tell me how he asked her out. I tried to get more information on how he asked her out because I'm sure he didn't ASK HER OUT, ask her out. You know what I mean. But he wouldn't give me any details. I didn't want to us the term girlfriend just yet. I didn't want to use any of those terms. Thank god it was dark outside, because I'm sure he missed alot of my facial expressions.
Anyway, my heart is crushed, Tommy has definitely moved on to a female. I guess there's no hope for us now. All I keep thinking about now is Gaurav. I was totally in love Gaurav. I really thought he could be gay, but it turns out, after much time, he finally told me about this girl that he liked. That really broke my heart. At least with Tom I'm not in love him, I just have a crush. And keeping that in mind, is what's getting me through the days.
I think I'm going to have to take a break from Tom. I'm just going to have to stop calling him for a bit and just put some distance between us. I'm so sad :( Why won't somebody comfort me?
(14/03/03)I went to school yesterday morning on time, because I had an assignment to hand in. I got back around noon or so. Dragan was already awake and the appartment smelt like waffles. Man, he eats those things all the time. I bought a box of timbit's before I left Billing's Bridge and I sat in the livingroom with him while I ate them. We just sat there and chatted a bit. He finally got up and took a shower and begun to get ready for work. I started to play SSX Tricky. After he was already, he started to play SSX Tricky with me.
Oh, I'm sorry to say this, but Dragan was wearing a funky ass get-up. I've asked him from time to time why he doesn't dress traditionally. Like a normal tie, shirt and pants. Noooo, he's got to look all wierd and stuff. He came out wearing shiny gray dress pants, I'm not sure what kind of fabric is used in those pants, but they look very trendy, more than dressy, and he work a white sweater vest and a very skinny black tie, and some overly busy stripped dress shirt. And he had his hair combed over to one side. He looked like a 75 year old man in a 23 year old body. But, I kept my mouth shut. I told him that he should dress traditionally, even if it is boring, at least he'd look normal. But to each his own. Anyway back to the story. He finally leaves and I have the appartment to myself. I didn't know what to do. I played SSX Tricky for about another hour before I decided to move on to better things. >;)
It was starting to get dark out and I knew Marshall would be expecting someone to come over. So I gave him a call around 6:30pm and told him that I'd be over in about an hour, which would have been 7:15pm-ish. I got off the phone, grabbed a few things and I was on my way.
I started to walk to Billing's Bridge and I decied that if the number 1 was there, I would just take it. And sure enough it was. So I get on it and we start travelling towards Billing's Bridge, (the actual bridge in which the mall was named after) and traffic came to a stand still. It must of took 20 minutes to cross a bridge that was less than 60 feet long. There was this semi-cute guy sitting off to my side and he was looking at the number 5 that was right behind us. I knew he was thinking the same thing I was, which was to get off the number 1 and transfer over to the number 5. The number 1 goes down Bank Street, and the 5 goes down Riverdale, which was not jammed. So the semi-cute guy and I got off and ran over to the other bus. He even said to me, "It didn't look like we were getting anywhere fast." Stupid me, all I can say is, "yup".
So I get on the number 5 and we get to Elgin like 15 minutes later. I've already been on two buses for about 35 minutes. I'm standing on Elgin and still have 7 or 8 blocks to the west to walk down. And I still hadn't eaten anything. I started to make my way down to the McDonald's but then a 14 comes along. So I run to catch that and take that close to Lyon Street, where Marshall lives. I get to his place about an hour later! I couldn't believe it! Oh well, I made a tuna sandwhich and we had plenty of chips and dip to eat. No one else came over to Marshall's that night. We called Tracey to see if she was coming, but she said she rented Tetris and was playing that. TETRIS! Did you hear me? Where did she rent that game? 1990? We also called Rob and he said he was too tired to go out. So Marshall and I watched TV by ourselves. I didn't stay long myself, because I was feeling a bit tired. I barely caught the number 1 back to Billing's Bridge.
I got home around 11pm. I thought I would just go to bed, but I decided to play on the internet before I went to bed. And you'll never guess who else was on line... Sydney! Of course I had to chat with him. I'm not sure how long we chatted for. It had to have been for almost an hour though. After that, I finally hit the fart sac. I think I went to bed around 1:30am or something like that. Anyway, I barely remember hearing Dragan come in, but I managed to sleep without his noise bothering me. And that's it. C'est tout!
(15/03/03) Last night was a total disaster! I can't believe what happened. Well actually I can, I just don't understand Rod sometimes. Well to quickly sum up this entry, I lost a friend and gained a close one. Rod was a total jerk last night. He didn't leave a good impression with Tom that's for sure. Okay, let me start this from the beginning.
It all started Friday night. I was still in my 'hurt' phase after Tom told me that he had a thing for Emilie. I told myself that I didn't want to see Tom again. I figured this was the best way to ease the pain and to distance myself from him. So I did my best to keep myself occupied through out the day. I played some SSX Tricky and watched some TV. Dragan left to work around 3pm, he did overtime again. After he left, I decided to play on his computer. It didn't take me long to go crazy and being having Tom withdrawls. I knew I had to keep myself busy, and I wanted to stay to my own word, which was not to see Tom at all. That was very important to me. I didn't want to fall more in love with him than I already was. So I decided to get a head start on my paper that was due in my Durkhiem class. It was a major term paper that was worth something like 20% of my final grade. I had also decided to multi-task my evening and try to do dishes all at the same time.
I was working quite well doing both jobs at once. That is, until I get a phone call sometime after 9pm. And you'll never guess who it was! It was Tom! I didn't recognize his voice at first because this call was coming from a payphone. But it suddenly rang in and I was surprised. He told me that Rod had picked him up and they went to a hockey game. He also told me that Rod and him were going to stop by after the game. I said okay and we hung up. I was totally happy after that! It was hard for me to concentrate. So I quickly did the dishes and did some quick cleaning. It was around 9:30pm and I started to work on my essay. I told myself that I would work straight through until they showed up. Then I would take a deserved break.
Time flew by quickly and before I knew it, they were knocking on my door. Both Rod and Tom had brought in several bottles of beer with them. The same cheap beer they had bought the night before, coors light. That stuff has little now alcohol in it! It totally sucks, although it is a light beer. I let them in and they started to watch the hockey news. I went back to work on my paper, I was in mid-thought when the came in and I wanted to finish writing out the paragraph before I joined them. Of course Rod didn't make that an easy task. He kept on bugging me and interupting. Then he started to tease me for doing homework on a friday night. I told him that, that's what Tom was probably doing before Rod picked him up. Tom nodded and agreed. I told Rod that it was nearing mid-term time and that I had several papers and exams to study for. So I went back to work and finished off what I was working on. Then I joined the other two in the living room.
Rod starts off his the conversation with a story of him being pulled over because he was identified as looking like a suspect that the police were looking for. The police pulled him over and asked him questions and then took him to the police station near by. Next he waited around and was questioned, followed by being let go. All of which, made him late for a meeting he had here in Ottawa. I wasn't buying Rod's story at all. One thing, the police procedure wasn't matching up, and if what really happened to Rod happened, then the police violated his freedom and rights. Rod finally confessed and said that it was a made up story, and that he told that story to his boss, which was his excuse for being late for the meeting. I can't believe the amount of work Rod goes through to get himself out of trouble.
Anyway Tom and I started to gang up on Rod and told him his story was lame and didn't hold much water. Tom told Rod that he didn't believe his story the first time and couldn't believe he kept telling it to everyone.
Well long story short, I finally cracked open my bottle of white merlot. The surviving bottle from my drastic fall that ended me up in the hostipal and getting my wound glued shut. We started to play some cards, we played pyramid. We also added some rules that we weren't allowed to bank more than 10 drinks. If you had more than 10 drinks you weren't allowed to give any out, but were still allowed to be given drinks. Of course, poor Tom was losing left and right. The second game we played it seemed the two of them were ganging up on me. They started to give me all kinds of drinks. It was all because Tom owed too many drinks to begin with. So I had to go and refill my glass.
This is where things started to get a bit awkward. If anything, this is where I might have contributed to the demise of our evening. While I was in the kitchen I heard two bottle caps being thrown around the room. I told who ever it was to pick them up. And of course Rod acted ignorant and said he didn't know what I was talking about. I went back into the living room and noticed that the collection of beer caps that was near me was gone. There were five there. I told Rod that I didn't appreciate him tossing bottle caps around my apartment. I told him to pick them up. He didn't. So I declared that each bottle cap was worth 2 drinks each. I owed a total of 13 drinks, and since there were five beer caps missing, it took me down to 3. I drank the three and we were even. Rod and Tom didn't like my calling, but I told them both tough luck. I don't want beer caps thrown around in my apartment and that I wanted them to be picked up. I also didn't want to hear Dragan bitching about it because that's what he did after he cleaned up after us on Sunday.
So that pretty much ended the conversation and we continued to drink some more. And of course, I started to make another pile of beer caps next to me as Rod and Tom drank more beer. I went and grabbed another glass of wine and I heard beer caps being thrown around again. I went into the living room and said that I wasn't going to play anymore until the beer caps where all picked up. I looked directly at Rod. He said that he didn't do it. I replied back that I was sure he had something to do with it. I re-iterated to him that I didn't appreciate him throwing beer caps. I started to get upset with the lack of respect Rod was showing me. This is what started an argument between us.
I sat down and grabbed the remote. I had let the boys watch what ever they wanted to watch, so I changed it on them. Rod complained right away, I just turned it to "While you were out". And I started to watch that. Then Rod wanted to continue playing and I told him that I wasn't going to play until all the beer caps where picked up. We argued about who had done it, I told him that I didn't care who did it. Just pick them up. Rod just kept on arguing with me. Finally Tom got up and started to pick them up. He looked annoyed. I started to give Rod evil eyes. He finally asked me what made me think he was the one doing it. I told him that he's always done it. He's always thrown beer caps around my place no matter were I lived. And I told him it was a lack of respect. And that he should respect me and my place. I didn't want to argue with him so I asked Tom if he had thrown any of them. And he admitted that he through the ones he picked up. He didn't know where the other ones landed. I looked back at Rod and asked him where he threw the rest. He continued to deny it. I finally asked him why he's being so difficult. He tried to start the argument back up again by telling me that he didn't know that beer cap throwing wasn't allowed. And I told him, when was it ever okay? Did he needed to have all the rules re-told to him every time I moved? I still insisted on not doing anything until they were all picked up. Finally Tom got up and started to search for the rest. I was really annoyed that Rod just sat there, watching like he didn't care. I know Rod, and he's not one to be told what to do. Instead he'd rather just sit there until he got his way. Or demonstrated to everyone in the room that he doesn't do anything for anyone.
So all the beer caps where picked up again. And Rod wanted to start playing again. I wasn't really interested and I could tell Tom was annoyed by Rod's behaviour. So we kind of just sat there for a bit. I think we all knew that card playing was done with. So we started to watch While You Were Out. Tom and I seemed to be most interested, we were just commenting on this and that. After several minutes Rod finally opened his mouth, and the second wave of the argument started.
I was still a little annoyed with Rod. I was just sitting quitely trying to forget about Rod and who he is. He's always trying to show me disrespect in front of people. He's always trying to demonstrate to others that it's okay to walk on me, treat me badly. He does it which makes people laugh. At the moment it's okay, that is until who ever was watching tries the same action on me later. They usually get their heads ripped off by me when they try such things. Anyway, it was really bothering me that Rod was doing this in front of Tom. Now Tom is really respectful of people, but Rod's bad influence was finally eating away at Tom's 'goodness'. Because Tom did in fact start to throw his beer caps around thinking it was okay to do such a thing. I'm after last night, Tom will think twice of doing anything like that.
Anyway, so Rod opens his mouth and tells me what I'm being so bitter about. I told him that I wasn't bitter. And he kept getting on my case about being bitter. Which in fact, only made me more frustrated and bitter. I told him to leave it alone. There's no need to talk about it. But he kept on going. He kept nagging on me. I did my best to ignore him. He finally asked me why I'm always bitter at him when we are alone, and never in front of Tom. I told him that there's a time and place for certain things. I told Rod that I was trying to respect him by not trying to have a fight in front of a guest. Do you think Rod would take the hint? No, that just made him more mad. The fact that I appeared righteous, as he put it.
I finally told him that I hated it when he showed a lack of respect for me in front of my friends. He's never thoughtful of what he does, and he's always trying to embarass me or humilate me in front of my friends. And he said that's just the way he is. I told him that I knew that and that I just accepted that about him. That he doesn't care about anyone or anything. So that pretty much dead locked the argument. I went back to watching TV and tried to ignore him again. But he kept on talking. I say talking because he really was talking. Rambling on about him and me and the type of person I was. I wasn't really paying attention to what he was saying, I was trying to ignore him.
This next part, even though it just happened yesterday, I have no idea how it happened or how it escalated so badly. Rod's voice got louder and louder. It became harder to ignore him. I think both Tom and I turned and looked at him. but Tom being Tom, went back to watching TV. I finally told Rod that I didn't want to talk about it. And that he's making something out of nothing. Gosh, things happened so quickly I'm not sure what happened. This is really hard to re-tell. I just know that Rod was getting upset, I think he was trying to blame me for what he was currently feeling. He was rambling on about me blaming him for everything that was negative. Like him throwing around the beer caps; that I always assume him first cause he's the bad guy or something. But I what I do remember him saying, right before he exploded, was: "If I did something, then I'd admit to it!" And with that being said, he picked up a beer bottle and started to hit it on the coffee table trying to break it. He hit the coffee table about 3 or 4 times before it finally busted. This got Tom's attention just as it smashed. Rod repeated his statement about admitting to something he did. And he threw the neck of the bottle across the room, which hit my wine glass and that shattered into a million peices.
I was in shock! I was so upset and hurt! I couldn't believe what he had done. I got up and told him to leave. I think I shouted. I told him to get out. I developed tunnel vision at this point and didn't really notice what was going on around me. Rod must of gotten up and walked towards the door. I don't know what he was saying. I just kept on telling him to leave. I finally went over to the phone and picked it up. That's when Rod came after me. He grabbed the phone out of my hand and I stood back and told him to leave. At that point, I ran into Dragan's room and tried to close the door behind me. But Rod tried to fight his way in. He pushed really hard and he opened the door wide open. I finally saw Tom in the background behind Rod. I started to worry about Tom's safety next. Tom told Rod that he should leave. He must of grabbed Rod's shoulder or something, but Rod didn't like whatever Tom did.
Rod pushed Tom back and told him to never touch him again. Tom apologized and told him that he think he should leave as well. While this was going on, I picked up the phone and dialed 911. They picked up and I told them that I was just assaulted by my friend and that I wanted him to be removed. The operator asked me if I needed an ambulance, I told her no. Then she asked me where Rod was. I told her that he was in the room with me. She asked me if he was doing anything. I just told her that he was standing there. She dispatched the police to my address. The funny thing about the call was, that I didn't even give my address to them. She just sent them on their way.
I got off the phone with them and Rod was just in disbelief. He asked me why I called the cops. I told him for protection. I told him that I was afraid of him; that he was dangerous. And then Rod had the nerve to tell me that when was he ever dangerous. And then I started to ramble off several times in which he got violent. After hearing all of that, he started to develope amnesia. He kept telling me over and over, that he didn't know what had just happened. That just upset me more. Tom finally told Rod that maybe he should leave before the cops got there. Rod said there was no point in running.
This is still mostly hazy to me. But Rod kept repeating to me, that he didn't know what was going on. I told him that I didn't want to talk about it. I didn't want to talk to him in his condition, he asked me why and I told him that he wasn't listening. The one thing that I do remember Rod telling me was "This is it then... it's over between us". I told him that I was sorry that he felt that way, but if that's what he thought then that's what he thought. It was around that time that I saw Tom putting his shoes on. Then he slipped out the door. Rod and I both noticed Tom leaving. Rod just stood there looking at me and telling me that he couldn't believe that I called the cops.
A few minutes later, the cops come walking in followed by Tom. The first officer looked at us and asked us which one of us called them, I told them that I was. We walked into Dragan's room and he asked me questions about what was going on. I told him that we were just having a few drinks and he flipped out. The second officer stayed in the living room and looked at the living room floor. He asked Rod if he did that, I heard Rod casually laughing it off as if it was nothing. The officer escorted him out. The other officer asked me if I wanted to press any charges. I told him no, that I just wanted him out of here. So both officers left.
I looked at the living room, I wasn't aware that Tom was in the room with me. He finally said, that the cops were still down there. He suggested that he'd go down and see what was going on. I don't remember what I did when Tom left. I think I just stood there in shock. Tom came back and told me that they are letting Rod go. But they called him a cab. The cops said that Rod was going to bar to meet up with some people. I just shrugged it off. That's when Tom said the cutest thing that I've ever had a guy tell me, he said "Did you want to talk about it?" Isn't Tom just the best?
I can't remember what I told Tom, I just started to talk about past incidents that Rod had flipped out. So I had some idea what he was capable of. I grabbed a swifter and began to sweep up the glass. Somehow Tom ended up having the swifter and he was collecting the glass. Tom also said that he would stick around in case Rod came back. I don't know what I said, I think I just nodded my head. I've never seen Tom like this before, he was so nurturing.
I started to pick up the larger pieces of glass and started to through it out. I picked up all the other beer bottles and putting them back into the box. After 'swifering' the living room, I decided it would be best just to wash the floor, make sure all the glass was picked up. So we threw the cat into Dragan's room and started to move all the furniture out of the living room. We found glass on everything. Every little piece had glass on it. Especially from my wine glass, which literally shattered into dust.
To make the story short, Tom felt compelled to do most of the work. I felt that I contributed equally, but he did do most of it. I finally got him to talk off his socks. I know it wasn't the right time, but I couldn't help seeing at least some of him naked. He has great feet. We sat in the dinning room while we waited for the living room floor to dry. I asked Tom if he wanted another beer. He told me that he lost any buzz he had. I decided to have another glass of wine. My nerves were pretty much shot and what I really needed was a cigarette, and Dragan wasn't expected to be back for another 25 minutes.
So for about 15 minutes or so Tom and I started to recap the evening. Tom told me that Rod quite a bit to drink before they got to my place. Tom told me that he downed two bottles of beer in the parking lot of Landsdowne and then had 3 beers inside the arena, and as you know those beers are huge. Plus Tom told me that he was sneaking in beer too, from the car. So Rod was already buzzing. Tom also told me something that surprised me. He said that Rod told him earlier that even that he was going to hit me. I didn't believe it. Rod has never hit me before. And I don't believe he ever did. I told Tom the time Rod almost hit me, but some other guy intercepted the swing. I still believe that Rod wouldn't take a swing at me. I finally concluded that Rod must of been dealing with something before hand, and was looking to provoke a fight to vent.
The floor was almost dry, and we started to move things back into the living room. I grabbed the swifter and did another sweep of the floor, making sure I got everything. We noticed the amount of glass on the fabric of the furniture. So we got some tape and we started to remove the glass as best as we could. At that point, I noticed that Dragan would be home any second. I felt awkward and ashamed for Rod, so I told Tom that I didn't want to tell Dragan what had happened. But he wanted to tell Dragan and that Dragan needed to know what happened. I just explained to Tom that I wanted to save face for Rod.
Shortly after that, and when we were almost finished with the cushions and chairs, Dragan came in. Tom and finished with the cushions and sat down. Dragan changed and came into the living room to roll some smokes. I had one because my nerves were kind of shot. I even allowed us to smoke in the living room too. Well the story gets boring from here on out. Tom eventually told Dragan what had happened. Then Dragan went to bed around 3am. Tom and just sat up and watched some TV until he was ready to go home. I was sad to see Tom go. I don't know if I ever felt like that before. Or at least admit to it before. But I geniunely was sad to see him go. I think Tom's actions last night has had a serious impact on me. Certainly my view of him has changed. He's simply not this kid anymore. I seem as a protector now, a hero, someone who cares for me and my safety. I see Tom as a man. I don't know if that's a good thing. Is it a good thing?
(17/03/03)I spent most of the weekend at Marshall's. Dragan asked me to have the appartment to himself on Sunday so he can sexually assault the minor he's been sleeping with. I didn't actually mind the request, I emailed Marshall earlier in the week and asked him. He said it would be okay. I went over to Marshall's Saturday evening. All we had planned was to sit back and watch some movies. But, let me tell you this from the beginning...
Saturday I slept in Saturday morning, I woke up after I heard Dragan stirring around. I started to cook some breakfast. I decided to go all out and make brunch. I started to cook up some turkey bacon, some oatmeal, some hotdogs and tater tots, and some eggs for myself. Dragan and I sat down and had ourselves a nice little meal. It was kind of cute. After that I just played SSX Tricky until Dragan got showered up and ready. I didn't do anything all day other than play SSX Tricky. I had originally intended to do some homework. I was suppose to finish my sociology paper that's due on Wednesday. I called Marshall earlier that day and told him that I was going to work on my paper and maybe take a nap. Instead, I just played SSX Tricky, washed the Kitchen floor and the hallyway floor, and I swiftered the appartment. Can you believe I was still walking on glass! Hopefully it's all gone.
Anyway, it's getting late and dark out, and I didn't even get a chance to take a nap! So I called Marshall and told him that I'd be over in about an hour, which would have been 8:15pm-ish. I jumped into the shower, packed a bag and started to walk to Billing's Bridge. My original plan was just to jump on a 97 and get my ass downtown as fast as I could; learning from my past mistake. But, when I got to Billing's Bridge, I took a number 5. It was a relaxing drive down to Elgin. And it was really nice out too! I walked the 7 or 8 blocks to Marshall's, I didn't mind the walk at all.
Once I got there, Marshall wanted to get the movies right away, I was starving so we decided to walk to a Subway before going to Roger's to rent movies. We walked all the way down past Sommerset Street to the nearest Subway. We ate there and moved on. Oh yeah, Marshall told me about his dance lessons, I asked him to show me his moves, but he didn't do that yet! I better ask him later tonight about it. Anyway, back to the story...
We walked down to Roger's and ended up renting a gay movie called Circut and we also rented The Ring! There was this semi-cute guy named Robin who was working that night. I've seen him before several times. Anyway, he was dressed differently, actually all the employee's were. But Robin looked really good. I didn't like the huge wallet in his back pocket, kind of ruin the shape of his ass, which was still nice. Anyway, I don't know why I was attracted to him. I don't think he's my type at all. I dunno, who knows. I'll tell you more about him again soon. On with the show.
We grabbed our movies, which were free because Marshall had "Q-pons". We started to walk back to his place down Bank Street and you'll never guess what we see! A SUBWAY! It's a new one! It's kind of near Frank Street, in between were Frankies and Staples is. Anyway, we couldn't believe we walked all the way down to Sommerset for a sub, when we could have just went there.
Anyway, we're back at Marshall's and we get all comfortable, Marshall makes a bed on the floor and I pull out the fouton and we popped in The Ring! It was a good movie, for the most part. It was kind of freaky, but not totally. It was after 1am when that movie ended and Marshall was beat. I started to watch Circut, but got tired myself. I turned off the TV and crashed out.
Sunday Marshall woke up way before I did. I heard him get up, but I went to sleep for another 2 hours. I think he came in and intentionally woke me up. He wanted to go get something to eat. So I called up Rob, whom I forgot to call the night before, to set up brunch plans with. We decide to meet at Denny's around 11am or so. Time flew by and Marshall and I were still walking around downtown around 11am. So I called Denny's to see if Rob was there, and he was and we decided to meet up downtown for brunch.
We went to the Fox and Feather pub for brunch. Brunch wasn't that great. And neither was the conversation. All Rob could talk about was cell phones! It drove me nuts! The service wasn't that great either, I had to sit there and wait forever for a refill on my coffee, listening to Rob talk about cell phones. I finally managed to change the subject, just as my waitress was pouring me more coffee to The Ring. Rob said he'd already seen it. And I asked him if he saw Ringu, which was the originally movie. He said he didn't and we all decided to head back to Marshall's to rent it.
We got to Rogers and I was hoping that Robin would be working again. I told Marshall that if he was there, I would casually ask him what he was doing that night. And see where that would have taken me. But, Robin wasn't working. Who would work back to back shifts like that anyway right? Oh well, next time.
So we grab the movie, which was free, because of the "Q-pon" Marshall had and we headed back to his place. We watched the movie, which was oddly exactly the same the American version, well at least the first opening scene. Other than that, we found that the American version was more morbid. I guess American's just love their gore! Ringu, wasn't as good as a movie as The Ring. Oh, I should also mention that half way through the movie, Rob managed to sneak his way up onto the fouton where Marshall was lying. I don't know if Marshall minded or not, I just didn't bother to ask him. Anyway, after the movie, Rob went home.
Marshall and I watched Circut, which wasn't a good movie either. By the time that movie was over it was 6pm. We decided to get up and go for a walk. Our initial goal of the walk was to gather some phone numbers of places that are for rent. We ended up walking to CP's though. Hey, it was Sunday and it's usually busy! We got there and we see Doug there. I think he was buzzing already. He was with some other guy who wasn't his boyfriend. Doug seemed friendly and he waved and stuff. I'm sure if he was drunk though, he would have been all over me. But I'm not going to waste my time writing about him, I think I've done enough of that already.
Marshall and I ended up at the Mayflower on Elgin street. I had the soup and salad and Marshall had the irish stew special. Oh yeah, today is St. Patty's Day. So that's why there was irish stew on special. Anyways, it was then I started to remember that Dragan said he was going to have some friends from work over that night for some drinks. He was also planning on going out that night. I didn't plan on it. But I needed to know if there was anyone at our place. I didn't want to go back to a house full of girls I didn't know that Dragan worked with. Before I called him though, I told Marshall that Dragan's probably cancelled on him. Poor Dragan. Anyway, sure enough, they did cancel on him.
Dragan was kind of annoyed that I didn't call him all day. But I thought he was busy with the 'kid'. Which by the way, Dragan didn't totally end it with him. Dragan started to ask me if I was going out or if Marshall was going out. We both told him that we weren't. Dragan said he called Tracey and she's ready to go. We ended up telling Dragan that we'd call him when we got back to Marshall's.
Marshall and I ended up taking a long walk from Elgin all the way down to Bronson and then back to his place. It was a nice walk and it was really nice out too! We got back to Marshall's and we were both tired. I called up Dragan, who was alreay on his fourth beer! He finally convinced Marshall to go out with him and Tracey.
Tracey called about 10-15 minutes after that and told us that she was on her way over. And she literally meant it too. She called from her cell when she was practically outside Marshall's. When I saw Tracey, I was totally amazed. She looked like CRAP! She looked completely exhausted, and stoned. She had so much foundation or powder or whatever you call it around her eyes. She looked like a racoon, but with a white strip over the eyes instead of a black one. She was really covering up the dark blotches under her eyes. I told her that she looked exhuasted and drained. But she was still determined to go out.
I guess that plan at that point was to start walking down to AWOL to meet Dragan because that's where he was going to be. So we did. And I caught a bus from downtown to home. I didn't plan on doing anything when I got home. I just decided that I would go to bed and get an early start on Monday on my paper. Which I did... well kind of. Today is Monday and the only thing I've written is this. hehehe. Oh well, back to work!
(20/03/03)I just found out that Rod has been telling Tom that I'm trying to pick him up. I went over to Tom's today to do an interview for my qualitative class. I interviewed him, asked him my questions and after that we got to talking. And some how the conversation turned towards Rod and I. And Tom says to me, "Rod tells me that you're trying to pick me up." I was totally shocked as you can imagine. Rod also told Tom that I've been sending Rod emails telling him... no not telling him, confessing to him that I love Tom! I told Tom that I didn't know why Rod would be saying those things. I told him that I thought Rod must get jealous or something. Now that I think about it, I'm not sure if I made myself clear. But I told Tom that I felt that Rod gets jealous because I like other guys that him. Which makes me think now, did that statement imply that I must like Tom? I don't know, I'm getting quite confused! Anyway, the main point is, Tom was cool about it either way. I honestly don't think he'd be too upset, if I developed a crush on him.
I worked last night and saw the georgeous blonde hair security guard last night. My god is he HOT! I think he knows that I check him out. Because he caught me more than once. Like last night, he was at the next store waiting for his security buddy, and I saw him standing there, then he looks over and sees me looking. I look away right away and reposition myself so I can get a natural non-staring view of him, and he kind of does the same thing. Nothing else happened, they left while I was casually looking the other way. I still don't know his name! But I will find out!
Tom stopped by last night too. I called him before I left for work. And he told me that he would stop by. And he did. We talked for a while, he was surprised that I was able to do so. He was slightly surprised at how little everyone did. I'm glad Tom was there. Why am I hopelessly in love with him? Especially since he's telling me that he's interested in another girl! I should know better! But I can't help it! I LOVE TOM! There, are you happy! I'm an idiot! And I would love nothing more than for the two of us to spend the rest of our lives together! I love everything about him! I love his eyes, his hair, his lips! I especially love his smile. Tom has such a cute smile! And his body, oh, let me tell you about his body! I think it's perfect. And I absolutely love his ass! He has the most perfectly round ass!
Anyway, I'm getting a little off track here. Where was I? Oh yeah, so Tom stopped in for a bit and I mentioned this movie that I wanted to see. What I had intended to do was ask him if he wanted to go see it. But I was side tracked at work and he left me without talking about it. So I called him during work and said on the phone: "You left before I could ask you out", the 'joke' fell flat, and I gave an awkward laugh. All he had to say in response was, "Oh, was that a joke?" I recovered by saying that I was being dead serious. Anyway, I asked him or told him rather, that we'd go see the movie next Saturday, and since I'll be done all my papers and work by that point, it'll be a good time to celebrate. So we're going to booze it up a bit. Just the two of us, hopefully, and get really drunk. Drunk enough for me to take advantage of him and sneak in a kiss. Ahem. I mean... hehehe. Oh well. Who knows, maybe he's curious? Well that's about all for now.
(24/03/03) I had the cutest chat with Tom the other day, I think it was Saturday. We were both on line chatting on MSN. We were both busy working on papers that were due this up coming week. I didn't see Tom all day Saturday by the way, which was really hard eh? Anyway, we were chatting and out of nowhere Tom asks me if I wanted to go on a study date. At first I didn't really pay attention to the request, then it hit me. He used the word 'date'! So I responded with... "you're asking me on a study date?" And he said "yeah, get with the program". I swear, Tom can be just the cutest.
So we made plans to meet up outside of the library around 11am on Sunday. I was totally excited! Luckily I was typing up the transcripts from the interview I did with him on Thursday. So that kept me busy while at the same time being able to hear and think all about Tom.
On Sunday, I woke up on time, jumped in the shower, shaved, and got myself all smelling good. Hey it was a date! I might as well try to treat it as a date. So I get there and Tom is already waiting. I have a tendancy to be late most of the time. So I'm always keeping him waiting. And you know something, everytime Tom comes into my view, I get the biggest and cheesiest smile across my face! So when I saw him, I started to smile, and then I tried not to. But I'm sure anyone could of noticed that I was trying not to smile. I got there and he was wearing a thin dark navy blue windbreaker, wearing his little back pack, and brown baggy skater boi pants. We walk into the library and the first thing he wanted to do was look for his books. He did some searching the night before, and had a bunch of call numbers, but he didn't know how to find them. (Isn't that just the cutest). So I take him up to look for his books. We stood between these skinny rows of shelves and we were both fishing around for different books. It was nice being in such close quarters with him. Tom took off his jacket and I got to see that he was wearing an olive colored "Etnies" t-shirt. I'm so gonna buy one of those, they look so HOT on him.
Anyway, after 30-40 minutes of looking for books on Marx, we finally go off to find a place to read. The first place I wanted to check for was a private study room. Normally they are all locked, but I managed to find one that was open. So we go inside and we get all of our stuff out and start to study. It was hard for me to concentrate because I was so excited that we were studying together. Yeah big deal, considering we did it last year for other courses. That's so funny, when I think back to those days. I didn't really care. It was just studying with some kid. Just a friend, someone that was in my class. Things weren't so complicated then as they are now. Why did things have to change? Anyway, I was being such a nuisance, because I was totally excited about studying with Tom! We must of been in there for like 20 minutes before we heard a knock on the door. Some girl was standing there holding a bag with a key in it. I told her to come in. She asked us if we had a key for the same room. I told her that we didn't and we packed up our stuff and gave up the room.
After we got the boot, I suggested that we go downstairs and see what it took to get one of those rooms. So we go down and I asked the girl at the reference desk and she says they give them to small groups of students, you need at least three. So that totally sucked and we ended up going back upstairs. I took Tom to the fourth floor and we sat at my favorite spot. Which is the seating area to the west where there is windows. We opened our books and started to read. I'm not sure how long we were reading, but I started to get lazy and I didn't want to read everything I was suppose to, so I decided to write Tommy a note. This is what the note said:
And you should see how bad Tom's hand writing is! I can barely read it. And can you believe he actually made me rewrite some of my hand writing? His is far worse than mine. Anyway, the sun was starting to set, it must of been around 4ish or so. So I suggested that we take a break, perhaps get something to eat. Tom and we left the library. When we got outside, I suggested that we study at my place. There was much more room there, and several different rooms to be in. I also suggested that I would cook us something to eat, rather than actually going out to get something. He agreed to the most of it and we walked back to his place to get some of his class notes and other books. Around 5pmish we were heading on our way back to my place. We sat apart on the bus because it was unusually busy that afternoon. Tom sat in front of me. There were a bunch of wierd people sitting back there and they were so loud too! They were total trailer trash. They were busy living a soap opera life, and they must of thought they were important or something. It was ridiculous, the things they were talking about. Anyway, this isn't about them, it's about my Tommy and me.
So we get to Billing's Bridge and Tom doesn't want me to cook us dinner. I don't know why, I wonder about him sometimes! So I suggested that we go to Buffalo Charlie's, because they have this new cheap menu. Dragan and I went there our first night at our new place, remember? Anyway, I thought the food was great and cheap! Except, we didn't go there, because I left my money at my place. So Tom says we should go to McDonald's. So we went there. Out of the numerous trips to McDonald's I can ever hardly remember what we talk about. But this time, some things tended to stand out. Like, he told me about his dad, and how crazy he was in highschool and university. Tom told me that his father is pretty much the same way now as he was then. One of his stories was that he was riding the car with his dad and they notice this guy toss a cigarette butt out the window. Tom's dad, pulled over, picked up the butt and followed the driver. When they finally reached the drivers destination, Tom's dad got out of the car and then tossed the cigarette butt into the yard. The wife of the man was sitting outside and she tells Tom's dad, "That wasn't very nice". And he replied back, "I agree". Apparently, everyone basically knew each other.
After hearing that story, it really makes me think how is father is and how Tom will grow up. Another story that Tom shared was with his brother. I can't remember his name it has slipped my mind, but it's Tom's youngest brother. Anyway, Tom says that his younger brother will most likely end up like his dad. His younger brother wants to go to Western only because it's known to be a party school. I told Tom that London does have a lot of bars, and also that they are segregated between the university and college students. Anyway, the only thought that ran through my head was the opportunity of returning to London to party it up with Tom's younger brother. How cool would that be! And if Gaurav still lives on campus next fall, then I'll have a place to stay when I go there. And Tom could come too! Tom and I could take a long road trip together! Although we'd be in a train, but being with Tom for that long, can't be any worse than... well it would be heaven! Now I'm all getting excited.
Anyway, back to my story. So we had a good chit-chat at McDonald's and decided to head on back to my place. I told Tom that I had a sweet tooth and wanted to make a trip to Zellers to get some stuff. He was okay with it and we walked across the parking lot only to find the mall doors were locked. Considering how adamant I was in getting my sweet fix, I told Tom that we were going to walk around to make sure if Zellers was closed. As we were walking around Tom told me about this Political Science ball that was happening either at the end of this week or next week. I wasn't really listening because I just didn't want to hear the inevitable... Emilie. He said that he wanted to go and I asked him who he was going to take. He joked back that he was going to ask this guy 'Richard'. I laughed at him and told him that I think I knew him. He wasn't joking when he said that he wanted to ask Emilie to the ball. My heart kind of sank, because I wanted to go with Tom to the ball! Where was my fairy god mother that day? He started to go on about the planning of it all. How he needed to get his dress clothing sent to Ottawa, or to go and get some from somewhere. I quickly phased out and started to picture Tom in a tuxedo! I imagined just how HOT he would look. Even if he was wearing a suit! I pictured him in a sharp, black suit! I would love to see Tom dressed up! That would be sweet!
Well we finally got around to the other side of Zellers and wouldn't you know it? It was closed! We ended up wasting all that time. We started to walk towards the bus terminal and I noticed a 148 sitting on top. I asked Tom if his transfer was any good. He said it was, but didn't want to take a bus for such a short walk. I told him that I wouldn't normally take the bus, but since his transfer was still good AND I was getting cold, why shouldn't we take the bus? So we get up to the platform and get on the bus. I was in front of Tom making my way to the back of the bus. I find a seat and sit down. I notice that Tom took a seat closest to the back door. I looked at him and he just laughed back. I got up and walked towards him and sat down. He tried to push me off, but I wouldn't budge. He made some grumbling comments and we both ended up laughing. I made a comment about how we never sit together on a bus. During the incredible short ride, Tom developed a sweet tooth of his own and wanted something sweet. I told him that there was a small store along the way we could stop at. So we did, and wouldn't you know it? It was closed to. Tom became the adamant one and wouldn't back down. So we ended up walking to Blockbuster for sweets. Tom of course picked out some sort of gum drops or jube-jubes. I picked up two boxes of smarties, which I thought were $1.50 or something. I just had enough money. But as it turns out, I didn't. I felt kind of bad, because Tom was like "you just want me to buy something don'tcha?" I told him no, and that I didn't bring all my money with me! I felt bad. I told him that I only needed a dollar and that I would give him one when we got back to my place. So Tom put it all together, I gave him my change, which was a couple of dollars. And we were finally off to my place. We crossed the street and noticed how dark it was. Tom looked at me and realized how little studying he got done today.
Well, to tell you the truth, we didn't get much more studying done after that. Well at least I think I did. I sent an email to my prof asking for an extension because I had another essay due that same week. Tom didn't think I would get the extension. So after I sent the email out, I continued to read comfortably my books that I got from the library. I mostly read in the kitchen because Tom was watching TV and it was distracting me. Wanna know something cute? I was busy walking back and forth between Dragan's room and the dinning room, and every time I walked past, I would check out Tom to see what he was doing. Anyway, he could hear me walking around, so when I walked past, I saw him watching TV, but the he quickly looked down as though he was studying. I thought it was cute. Too cute to ignore, so I walked into the living room and told him that I caught him. I saw him watching TV and then fake studying. He didn't really say much, and I told him that I didn't care, I wasn't going to tell on him.
Also, Tom distracted me when he came into the kitchen to start chatting with me. He sat on the red chair and we talked about this and that. But not for too long because he ended up going back to the living room. Needless to say, we didn't get any work done last night. We ended up closing the books and started to watch some TV. Tom didn't stay late because he wanted to get some sleep. Likewise for me, I needed to get up and continue working on my qualitative project which is due tomorrow. So that was my "study date" with my Tommy!
(29/03/03)Our supposed date. Coming soon!
