*Note all entries are added cronicological order from the begining of the month to the end. (dd/mm/yy)
(02/06/05) Well, it's a new month and I'm still going strong. I'm a little behind for the month of May, but I think I'll be able to go back and finish writing it. I know I have a few things that I really want to add before I forget it all. Anyway, on with the next month. June. I met with Sarah last night to watch a movie. Actually it was one of those time that I wanted Sarah to come up with an idea to do something, since I'm always the one doing it. She didn't think of anything all day. So I went on line and found this movie playing at St. Laurent, which was called WAQT. This movie is an Indian movie and was subtitled. It seemed interesting from the short plot summary, about some rich kid who was irresponsible; his father challenges him by kicking him out of the house with no money or anything to fend for himself. This damages the relationship a little, but things fix themselves by the end of the movie.
It was an interesting movie, completely different than the regular Hollywood movies that we were use to seeing. This movie had songs and dances in it. So it was very entertaining. Not only that, it was well over 2 hours long! I think it was 2 hours and 20 minutes long. The movie was good though, well done, and very dramatic. But I guess its a cultural thing the way the movie was made.
Anyway, that's pretty much what I did last night. I was really tired after the movie. I had a really busy day at work! So I was ready to hit the hay. Sarah was having a bad day so I knew it was important for her to get out of the house and try to forget about stuff. Well that's all for this entry. Surprising that I wrote so little!
(03/06/05) Last night I got a nice surprise from Graham. He told me earlier in the week that he was going to be in Ottawa for the day and asked me if I wanted to meet up with him. I told him that I would. He popped online earlier in the afternoon and we decided to meet up at a Starbucks on Bank Street. It was strange seeing Graham for such a short period of time and also in a casual setting. The last two times that I've been with him, we couldn't keep our hands off each other. And another thing, although he lives on the opposite side of the country, it didn't feel like it that day! It was like he never left Ottawa and that I was just casually meeting up with him like I would with Marshall. So that made things a little more different when meeting with him. The conversatin was slightly different too, we didn't talk about sex or anything so he told me what he had planned for the up and coming week. He also told me when his next weekend trip would be; which was the following weekend, the 11th and 12th.
I've been thinking about the possibilities with Graham. I know he lives in Vancouver and the long distance thing is extremely difficult, but should I take the chance? Should I just see where it goes? We chatted on line about how we felt about each other. I totally told him where I stood in regards to my sexuality. I seemed to have placed sooo many limits on what I would do sexually with him, but that doesn't seem to hinder or stop him from seeing me. He also told me that he didn't feel intellectually equal to me and that he was too old. I thought that was kind of cute... for him to expose his vulnerability to me. I told him that his age didn't bother me. I also told him that he was smart; just in different areas than I was. I hope he isn't too discouraged.
I talked briefly to Ericka to see what she thought and of course, as the risk taker she is, she said to just go for it! I showed her a picture of Graham and she totally approves. She did make me think about one important aspect that I never really thought about before. There's this guy who's enamored with me, I shouldn't be disqualifying him if he's that. I should take a leap and see where it goes. So that really opened my eyes... especially since he makes sooo many frequent trips too Ottawa. Should I consider the possibility of dating him? I've got some thinking to do.
Our little chat lasted for about 30-40 minutes. He was flying out later that evening and he was meeting up with a co-worker for dinner. On my way home I started to think about Graham as potential partner. He's really not the stimulating in conversation, but I think it might be because he's shy, or doesn't want to say anything that will make him sound stupid or something. I must be intimidate him or something. Again, I think I'm more agressive in my relationships, and perhaps he's not. So I should give him some time to absorb me in. I also should give him the time to get comfortable with me. Oh well... it'll be a week before I can see him again. I guess I'll just go with the flow.
I was suppose to call Rod before I left work to let him know if I was going to join him in going to some co-workers picnic. But since I meet up with Graham, I didn't get a chance to call him. So I called him when I got home and he suggested that we get together later that evening. It was too late for me to join him then he was already at the park where the picnic was. So I just made something to eat and watched some TV.
Jordan came in with his cute little friend. I don't even know his name! Jordan never introduced me to him. But he's totally cute, a little shorter than I am, and he's much skinner, but not gross skinny. He has medium brown hair and either light brown eyes or green eyes, I couldn't really tell. Anyway, they came in and he helped Jordan pack. Jordan is taking off on a week long trip out to New Brunswick, so I'd have the place all to myself for the weekend and most of the following week. I sat in my room and continued to watch what I was watching.
It wasn't too long before I over heard the boys talking about clothes. Jordan had mentioned something to his buddy about dressing up. He didn't have anything to wear so Jordan said he might have something. So he gave his friend an old pair of dress pants. I waited until I heard Jordan's friend come out of the bathroom before I came out of my room. There is a full length mirror right next to my door, and that's where he was. I walked out and had a quick glance at him. He looked really HOT and cute. He even acknowledged me by name! I was surprised. The pants were a little baggy on him, not to mention long. Jordan and I are pretty much the same height, and this guy was about 2-3 inches shorter than us. So the pants idea was out the window. I got back to my room and started to hope that one of them would suggest asking me to see what I had. But they didn't.
Rod took forever to get back to me. He said he was coming and I waited some more, but then I had to call him to see if he still was. By this time, it was already after 9pm. He told me that he would be by my place around 9:45pm. I thought it was too late. So I eventually called him back and told him to forget it. It was way too late to be meeting up anyway. He then suggested that we get together for breakfast. The idea was cool, but I knew it would be painful to wake up the next day earlier than usual to have breakfast. So I told him that I would.
Jordan left that night, and it was pretty late. I got undressed and went to bed. It was a little difficult to fall asleep knowing that Jordan wasn't there. I felt naked and unprotected! LOL Jordan was my security blanket and now he was gone! :( hehehe.
I managed to get up on time this morning! I got up, went for a run and everything. I missed my scheduled bus and had to catch a later one, but I still made it to the restaurant. We decided to meet at Elgin Street Diner for breakfast. Of course Rod was late. Even though I was late, he was even later! Which bugged me. He has a truck, so he really has no excuse, I was limited to the bus's schedule. Anyway I ordered pancakes and we chit chatted. I called into work letting them know that I was going to be a bit late so I didn't have anything to worry about. After breakfast, he dropped me off at the corner and I arrived at work before 9am. And that's it for now! Now I have to plan on what I'm going to do this weekend, knowing that Jordan will be gone all week! ;)
(06/06/05) My weekend wasn't filled with excitment as I would have hoped. Instead it was really relaxing. I spent a lot of time alone. I guess it's good to do that sometimes. Although, I was borderline feeling depressed or feeling way too much pitty for myself. I don't know. I'm not one to spend too much time with myself. I need people around. Friday night, I ended up staying in all night. I took a cool shower and popped in the Terminator. I ended up watching all three that night! It was hot out so I didn't do anything naughty like I could have. So I just went to sleep.
The next morning, I woke up kind of early and couldn't get back to sleep. I didn't go for a run like I should have. I just ended up being lazy. I listened to some music before I finally got out of bed. I called Kevin to see if he wanted to go for breakfast, but he didn't answer. I left a message for him to call me back. I didn't know what else to do so I cleaned the bathroom. I didn't feel completely engergetic to do the entire thing, so I just washed the tub and shower. By the time I finished that, I still hadn't heard back from Kevin. So I figured that I would just get showered and head on down to Market Fresh for some fruit to have breakfast. I had to go to both Market Fresh and Loblaws to get everything I needed. It wasn't until 2pm that I finally got to eat breakfast.
I was feeling really tired for some reason so I ended up taking a nap. I still hadn't heard from anyone and my room was heating up because the sun was shinning in. So, since Jordan was gone for the weekend, I decided to move my TV and DVD player into the living where it would be much cooler. While I did that, I decided to cook myself a stellar dinner. Its been a while since I ate corn, so I cooked some of that up along with some hotdogs. I also popped in Speed which is a movie that I haven't seen in like forever! It was a much longer movie than I remembered, but still good. The corn was delicious!
The livingroom was cooler, so I decided to watch another movie. It was a movie that had Demi Moore in it called Seventh Sign or something like that. It was a strange movie. Once that was over, I decided to take a cool bath to cool down a bit. I was in the tub for about an hour. I really was cooled down. It was getting pretty late so I grabbed some fruit and whipped cream and popped in Trick which is always a good summer movie to watch. I didn't watch it all cause I was tired so I ended up turning it off not too long after it started.
When I woke up this morning, I wanted to try and have breakfast with someone, but to no avail, I could not find anyone! I had scheduled to watch Star Wars with TJ so I called him to see if we were still on. He cancelled on me twice in the past two weeks. He said he still wanted to go and that he would come and pick me up. He wanted to see an early show, cause he wanted to go down to CP's for a few drinks. He invited me along, but decided not to go. It was too hot to be sitting outside with a bunch of older men who were probably going to oogle my goodies. hehehe
In the meantime, I called Kevin to see what he was going later that evening. He said he wasn't doing anything so I suggested that we should get together and do something. I told him about Boy Meets Boy before so I suggested that we could watch that. I also suggested that we could have a mini BBQ at his place. He was all for it and I planned that right after I was finished with TJ.
TJ was on time and we drove down to South Keys to watch Star Wars. I was surprised at how many people were there, there were a lot of kids too, which I kinda can't stand, they are soooo annoying. The movie was great. I really like Episode III. I think it's the best out of the three new ones. I was a bit tired near the middle of it cause I started to doze off. The cool air felt great and it was making me sleepy.
After the movie we went to Starbucks and TJ treated me to a coffee. We sat for a bit and drank that, he told me that he was starting to doze off in the theatre. He said he wasn't much of a Star Wars fan, but still thought the movie was good. He still extended me an invitation to come with him to CP's, but told him that I was kind of tired and stuff. So he dropped me off at home.
I got in and called Kevin to let him know I was ready to be picked up. I also asked if I could do my laundry there cause the machine downstairs wasn't working. He said I could so he came and picked me up. We started to get our food ready right away. I was starting to get hungry. We cooked potatoes, yellow beans, and corn. He had a chicken breast and I had a veggie burger. It was really, really good and it hit the spot. After dinner we sat down and watched Boy Meets Boy. I only brought disc one which had three episodes on it. Kevin really enjoyed it. And it was cool watching it again knowing the results and stuff. The guys on the show are really great.
After that, I folded my laundry and Kevin drove me home. It was fairly late so I put my clothes away and got myself ready for bed. It was weird going to sleep on a Sunday night without Jordan being there. I'm getting really used to him being there. I managed to fall asleep. I left my door open to allow a breeze to go through the apartment. And that's it for my little weekend in almost seclusion!
(09/06/05) OMG! You'll never guess what I saw today! I saw an incredibly HOT and SEXY guy earlier today! His name is Isaac! He came into the office this morning. He was early for a meeting he had. He had a beautiful smile. He's about 6 feet tall, dark neat hair. Brown eyes, and a goregous smile! He was absolutely cute! He was dressed very professionally too. He had on a dark red/maroon dress shirt and black dress pants that fit his ass nicely. I was sooo nervous around him. I wanted to chat with him but didn't know what to say. I couldn't keep my eyes off of him. He's just the type of guy that I would love to date! I couldn't tell if he was gay or not. But my gaydar was working at full max to see if he was. He seemed kind of soft as though he was gay, but then again, there are sensitive guys out there.
Isaac turned out to be some sort of contractor. I'm assuming he knew stuff about computers cause he went back to check on one of the computers. He stayed for a bit. I kept walking past him to check him out. I even stopped and stared at him from another room! I could have simply eaten him all up!
Rod and I went out for lunch. I was slightly worried that I wasn't going to see Isaac again. Isaac was there when I left for lunch but wasn't when I got back. :( I was sooo sad. Rod and I went to the pub around the corner from where I worked. Marshall and I went there a few weeks prior and I knew they had a veggie burger there, so I didn't mind going there again. Of course, because it was a bar Rod was getting all excited and wanted to go out somewhere. I told him that I didn't want too, this guy really does have a drinking problem. That's all he wants to do. I told him that I would think about it, but not to get his hopes up. I personally don't want to be drinking beer. Do you have any idea how many calories are in a single beer?!? TONS! And I can't be putting that kind of stuff into my body!
(11/06/05) Oh man, so... I decided to cave in and meet up with Rod for a night of drinking. I really didn't want to because it was sooooo incredibly HOT last night. There was so much humidity that I was completely sticky. But, let me start from the beginning here, I'm missing a step.
There's this guy that I bumped into in a chat room. We started to chat for a bit and it seemed like we were getting along great. Usually in times like this, I just want to meet the guy right away to see if we click. Cause sometimes you don't. So we exchanged phone numbers after a full day of chatting on msn. I was suppose to call him later that evening to confirm out meeting plans. We decided to meet at a Royal Oak on campus. But when I left work and went home, it was just too bloody hot and humid. I was just so not looking forward to getting showered and slightly cooled off and having to go back downtown to only sweat again. I really wanted to make a good impression with this guy. His name is Jessy by the way.
So I got home and called him and told him that I was just not feeling up to it. It was to damn hot. He said it would be okay to reschedule. I apologized and told him that I felt badly for cancelling, but I just was not feeling up to it. After that I decided to give Kevin a call and ask him if I could seek refuge at his place for the night. But he didn't answer. I left him a message to get back to me ASAP! The next thing I decided to do was to take a long cold shower and try to get some rest. But that's when Rod called. He asked me if I wanted to go out with him to Nicole's for some drinks. I really didn't want to, but I ended up going. Nicole is this nice funny girl that Rod works with. Well... they work in the same building. I agreed to go, but only because Nicole said she had air conditioning. And it was alot better than my place. Kevin still hadn't called yet so it was the only option I had. I told Rod that I would go. I hopped in the shower and told myself that if Kevin called, that I would just go over there. But he didn't. I finished my shower, got dressed and Rod came to pick me up.
I wanted to drink wine, so I told Rod that we would have to drive out to a wine store. So we went down Bank street cause there was both a Beer store and a Wine store. We got the beer first then went to the wine store. It was closed. So we raced all the way down town to the one on Rideau and that was still opened. I picked up two bottles of wine and Rod picked up a pint of whiskey and two cheap bottles of Boone's Farm or something. It was really cheap stuff. It ended up costing us about $50 in total. After that we headed off to Nicole's.
Oh man, you'd never guess who I ended up bumping into. Some guy that I met over the chat. This was a couple of months ago, when I was still in school. I met on him chat and we decided to meet that same night. We met at the World Exchange Centre. Not a bad looking guy, a little on the small side, but cute. We chit-chatted for a bit. I couldn't tell if he was interested in me or not. But he said he had to go to the bathroom, so I showed him where they were cause he didn't know. When we got there, I didn't know if he wanted me to follow him in cause he looked at me while he walked in. In retrospect, I think he did want me to follow him in. Hmmm, I guess I could have.
Anyway, we get to Nicole's building and the same guy is there. We look at each other and it finally striked me who he was. I still can't remember his name, but he let us into the building. He was dressed in some traditional formal wear, he's philipino. He looked quite dashing to tell you the truth. Just as we were leaving, I told him that he looked good. I wonder if I'll run into him again?
Nicole had a friend of hers there whom of which I later nick name Cat Woman. Nicole's place was a bachelor with a small kitchen. She put up curtains to try and seperate her sleeping area from the living room area. Most of her stuff came from Ikea. Anyway, Cat Woman and Rod sat on the couch while Nicole and I sat on her bed. We drank some drinks and got to know each other before we headed off to a bar called Maxwell's. I had brunch there a few times in the restuarant portion, but never been to the bar part of the place. We get there and I was surprised at the clientelle. It was strange, even I couldn't tell if the crowd was mostly gay or straight.
We picked a table that was next to a group of guys. I went to the bathroom and I was walking past women talking to women, and men talking to men - not a typical sight to see at a typical straight bar. When I got back Rod had this perplexed look on his face. He leaned over and told me that there weren't too many girls there. I smiled at him and told him "why would there be?" And he just gave me this look. I had to laugh at him. It really seemed like we were in a gay bar. The guys at the table next to us really seemed gay. There were a few straight couples mixed in with the crowd, but it seemed like comfortably mixed bar.
We met up with a few of Nicole's friends, who were all gay! One of them was a complete ghost from the past! Jonathan! I spoke of him way back - January 17th, 2003 to be exact. He was a leechy guy that would not go away! Anyway, here was this guy, again, standing in front of me now, looking more interested than he did the first time he met me. I just rolled my eyes and tried to stay away from him. You see, a few years ago, this guy did even bother with me, not that I would have responded to him positively anyway, but was obviously shallow then and it didn't appear that he was any different now. He did look different though. He gained a few pounds and lost the pony tail he had. Anyway Jonathan brought along two other friends of his. Both of which were just as shallow as he was. This one guy whom of which I've chatted on line with, but never met would only meet guys on the basis of looks. After seeing him in person, this guy was no looker! The other guy I had no clue who he was. Kind of cute, but still effeminate, not really my type.
Anyway, Maxwell's was okay, but since there were more dancing queens then what we started out with, we all decided to go to another bar. A real gay bar. And since Rod already believe we were in a gay bar, it didn't bother him to go to another one. So we dragged him to a bar called The Edge, which is the same place where AWOL use to be. We get there and it was the usual crowd. To make up for Rod's discomfort, I decided to buy him a few drinks. The rest of us just danced.
We were soon interupted by a drag queen doing a show. There was a best chest contest for both men and women! The guys went first and then the women. I missed the women, and not only that, I missed Nicole flashing her bazoonga's! That would have been funny to see! I was at the bar when it happened. After that was over, we got back to dancing. In the middle of it all, Rod disappears. No one can find him. It's getting closer to closing and we are all standing outside. Nicole gives him a call and he says he's outside. He would tell us where he was but they decided that we'd all meet up at the Elgin Street Diner. We get there first and he's not there. He finally shows up and the place is too packed anyway so we head back to Nicole's, except Rod and I didn't go up. Rod just drove me home. I was a little buzzed, buzzed enough to stay some stupid things. I didn't know where Rod had gone, and he was being a jerk towards Cat Women. He even questioned why I was calling her that. I told him that we just started to talk and it just happened. I think he got jealous or something because I got so close to her so quickly, where he was just being scary and stalkly-like. He was grabbing her and stuff.
Anyway, Rod drove me home FAST. It was crazy! And that's about it. That was my night out. I didn't even think about the heat either, I just went to bed like it was any ordinary night.
