*Note all entries are added cronicological order from the begining of the month to the end. (dd/mm/yy)
(02/06/01) Last night was amazing. I haven't had so much fun last night. Well, if you must know, I strolled down to Bottoms Up again last night. Saw the 'gang', even met someone new. His name is Steve. He's a good guy. Laid back, reserved. An all round good guy. At least that's what he looks like on the out side. He looks to be around 35 or more. Anyways, things were fine, had a few beers, relaxed a bit. But something weird happened. I got buzzed quickly after 3 or 4 beers. I couldn't believe it. Steve seemed to develope a quick interest in Frank, I mean who wouldn't. Frank is such a cutie-pa-tootie! Frank has this unbelieveable perfect round butt! Great body! Anyways, to make a long story short, I got brave, and after following Steve's boldness to ask for a dance, and getting the thumbs up, I decided to take Frank for a spin. My, my, my let me tell yah. It was good. Real good. He's so sexy and I can't believe... (well actually I can), he danced for me. I'll never forget what Frank has done for me. It was spectacular. I've also got to mention how small the world is. I bumped into this straight girl at the bar that works with my aunt. I can't remember her name, the girl that works with my aunt, hmmm, I can remember any guys name easily. Anyways, she says she won't tell 'me' aunt, and hopefully she doesn't.
Today I've decided to be lazy. I don't plan on doing anything today. I just want to lay in bed and relax. I was suppose to go out to Denny's this morning for breakfast with Trish aka Sunflower. But she cancelled on me last minute. Anyways, I've got all my clothes sorted and I've begun to wash those. I'm sitting here in my pajama's, eagerly waiting clean gitches so I can take a shower! hehehe. I want to go out tonight, but I'm really feel drained from my week. I've been working a full time day job, and then there's my afterwork job. Which is starting to take its toll on me. So I figured I'll rent a few chick flicks, and have a girls night in tonight. I've got the house to myself, so I might as well enjoy it. So that's what I have on my plate. I also been doing some shopping on eBay, and placed some bids on a few items. Like, the Greatest Hits album of the New Kids! Hahaha, isn't the hillarious? So, once I've done that, I've decided to place a bid on the Hangin' Tough Album as well. So hopefully I'll win those items. Okay, I'm going to check on my laundry and maybe grab a bit to eat! I'll chat with you all later.
11:25pm Hey it's me again. Remember those bids on the New Kids CD's? Well of course you do, you just read it! But it's been like 9 and half hours for me. My laundry is all finished. I just came back from Blockbuster and I rented "What Women Want" and "Just One Time". Just One Time is a gay flick. I'm looking forward to watching that one. But I think I'll save that one for last. I also made a quick stop at the 24 hour store and picked up some juice and chocolate chip cookies. So I think I'm all set. I'll chat with you again later.
(04/06/01) I must be horny, cause I'm inspired to write this porn type story for you guys. I want to write about Terris. I'm closing the store with him on Sunday, so this is kind of a fantasy. Ok, it's Sunday night just after 11pm. We finished what we were suppose to do early than scheduled. It wasn't a busy night. I walk back to tell Terris that it's alright for him to leave early if he liked. I walk around the corner and I see him bent over in front of me. He has just finished sweeping the floor and he's picking up the dirt. And as usual, when I get a free opportunity to check out Terris, I take it. Terris has this cute round butt, and the thought of me thrusting my hard cock deep into him gets me hard. Just then Terris gets up and turns his head and catches me. I look up into his eyes. My face turns red. Terris stands up holding a broom in one hand and a dust pan in the other.
"Where you just staring at my ass?" I'm completely dumbstruck and the only thing I do is continue to stare into his light brown eyes.
"You were checking my ass out weren't you?" He walks towards me and then past me and dumps the dirt into the garbage can. "I knew you were gay!"
"I wasn't... I-I'm not gay." I manager to stutter out. He lets out a manly laugh.
"This isn't the first time I caught you staring at me. And if you weren't checking me out, why are you all red?" I was completely speechless. I had nothing to say. I covered my face with my hands and walked quickly away. I sat in the office feeling completely stupid and humilated. A few minutes later Terris shows up.
"Look, I just wanted to apologize. I didn't mean to embarass you. I'm sorry."
"That's okay." I said without looking up at him. He took a step forward and crouched down beside me.
"I'm sorry, I feel like such an ass. I shouldn't have reacted that way." He put his hand on my shoulder and gently squeezed it.
I gave a weak smile and say, "It's ok. It's my fault I feel stupid anyway. I shouldn't have been checking you out."
Terris let out a quick laugh. "I should be flattered right? Come here," He pulls me towards him and gives me a big hug. "friends?"
He felt so good, so close to my body. His scent was erotic and excited me. I don't know what got over me and I kiss his neck. No reaction. I kiss him again. Nothing. Since I didn't get a reaction, I begin kissing him passionately on his neck and slowly make my way up to his ear. At the same time, one hand goes up to the back of his head, and the other travels down towards his cute little butt.
"Wait!" Terris says jumping up. "I'm not sure if I can do this." My eyes travel down to his crotch and notice a fair size tent in his pants.
"I think you can." I said standing up. With that, he lunges at me and kisses me. Our tongues intertwined. Our hands exploring each other's bodies. And most importantly, our hard pricks rubbing up against each other. I reach down to Terris' ass with both of my hands and grab his buttocks firmly and pull him closer to my groin. He lets out a moan.
I stop kissing him for a second and turn him around and push him up against the wall. I grab his arms and raise them over his head and hold them against the wall. With my right foot, I kick his feet apart. I step in and press my hard cock against his ass. Terris lets out another moan. I start kissing the back of his neck again.
I slide my hands down his body, while he willingly keeps his hands up over his head. I slip off his shirt and begin playing with his nipples. I kiss and lick his shoulders and enjoy the manly scent of his armpits.
Finally, I work one of my hands down the front of his pants to feel his trobbing pole. Terris moans in response. I unbutton his pants and they fall to his ankles. I pull down his boxersbriefs enough to expose his bubble butt and hard cock. I begin to stroke him with one hand, while with my free hand I unbutton my pants and pull down my boxers.
"Oh yeah!" Terris breathes out in excitement. I reach up and grab his arms and turn him around. And without saying anything, Terris knew what to do. He dropped to his knees and took my throbbing cock into his mouth. My head fell back, "Oh Terris" I moaned out. His mouth was hot and moist. His tongue powerful. The tip of my cock rubbed against the ridges on the top of his mouth. I could feel his breathing against my body.
I felt Terris' hands on my ass, pulling me towards his mouth. I took this as a cue and put my hands on the back of his head and started to fuck his mouth. I rammed my dick deep down his throat, every now and then I could feel the strength of his throat muscles resisting the intrusion.
As much as I wanted to cum in Terris warm mouth, I also wanted to taste his cock. I pulled back and looked down into his eyes. He stood up and we kissed again. I started to slowly move down, kissing a path down to his nipples, then navel and finally stopping at his hard prick. I gave it a few good strokes to make sure it was rock hard. Then I place my lips around his head and gently sucked it. I slid my tongue in circles around his tip which made him quiver and moan. I slowly eased his strongly throbbing cock deep into my throat and then back out again. I started a good momentum going and every once in a while, I'd stop and tease the tip of his head.
Soon after I've finished returning the favor, Terris and I began to kiss again. "I want to be inside of you." I whispered.
"I want you to be in me." Was his reply. I grabbed my jacket and pulled out a condom and one of those convenient lube packages. I gave Terris the condom and he put it on me. I lubed up his ass and we were ready to go! LOL (ahem)
Terris leaned over the desk and I stepped up behind him. "Do it slowly." He asked. And I told him I would. I slowly put the tip of my head between his cheeks and slowly and carefully pushed in. Terris grunted a bit in slight pain. "Are you okay?" I asked and he nodded in response. I kept going, slowly and surely I pushed in allowing his hole to accomodate my dick. Finally my ball sacs where pressed firmly against his ass. I rested for a bit before I started to pump him. I bent over him and pressed my chest against his back. I kissed the back of his neck and then whispered into his ear, "Ready?", he moaned softly back. I began to gently slide my dick back and forth slowly gaining more and more speed. Terris started to moan more and more and started to breath out "Oh yeah, ooh".
I couldn't hold out for long, Terris' tight hole brought me to the brink faster than I thought. I pulled out, took off the condom and shot all over Terris' back. Terris stood up and leaned against me and I watched him jack himself off and watched him shoot 4 or 5 loads onto his chest. He turned around and hugged me and we kissed in between breaths.
So... what did you think? Quite the imagination huh? I've amazed myself. I didn't know I had it in me. I hope you enjoyed my little story, cause I sure did enjoy writing it.
(05/06/01)Hello there! it's me again. Nothing better to do at the moment other than get my rocks off and write to you all. Or should I say, help you get your rocks off? Anyway, I don't know if I mentioned it before, but there is this guy here at work that I've developed a slight crush too. He's really handsome. Really sexy too. And what kills me is that he takes his breaks alone. And he sits alone during lunch. Because of the position I hold here at work, I'm able to move around the building freely and I stumbled into his department. I don't have a name for him, I can never read his name tag. He's about 6', and I'm guessing around 180-200 lbs. He has nice tanned skin. But I don't think he tans. I think he's italian or something. He has a spikey type hairdo. Nice dresser. sometimes, he dresses kind of gay, like white cargo pants and a tight striped sailor type T-shirt. It looked gay, and it was the only thing too. I don't know. He catches me looking at him all the time. And every now and then, I catch him looking at me. But I'm sure he's just checking if his regular stalker is checking him out. However, the main reason why I'm mentioning this at all is because I'm trying to tell Christina that I'm gay. She thinks my HOTTIE is a girl. And I've never refer to him as a him. And I don't think she's ever picked up on it. So every day at lunch, she tries to figure out who my HOTTIE is. Our routine is that after break, I send her an email to describe what he's wearing, and at lunch she tries to find her. But it's not working. But I think we're getting close. I told her to look for someone who's between 5'10"-6' feet tall, dark brown spikey hair, and I usually give detailed clothing descriptions. I mean, girls aren't usually that tall, or have spikey hair. Anyways, it makes me nervous every lunch. Is this the day she's going to find out? I hope so.
Since I'm on the topic of guys, I might as well tell you about this absolutely cute guy I saw yesterday. He was all dressed up! I could have jumped his bones. Of course I have this set type, and he has the same stats as the guy I described above. This cutie-pa-tootie is about 6' or taller. Dark brown wavy hair, with that scoop thing going on at the forhead. He kind of looks like that guy from My Bestfriend's Wedding, the one Julia's Character loved. His name escapes me at the moment, but that's who this guy reminds me off. He's absolutely cute. Anyway, he's here in my office, sitting right in my view. He's sitting at a meeting, he's a summer student around my age. Cute as a button, but I'm sure I've said that like a 100 times. It looks like he's here with his supervisor or something. He's wearing black dress pants and a blue dress shirt without a tie. I could probably eat him alive! hehehe.
(06/06/01) Wanna hear a cute story? Well, I think it's cute. I was at work last night. And I couldn't stop looking at Terris. But near the end of our shifts, I ask him if he was thirsty, cause I was going to get him a drink. But he turns to me, and looks straight into my eyes, and I looked into his soft light brown eyes, he gives me a warm smile and says: "No, thanks Chad." I smiled back like an idiot in love and said, "ok". Anyways, the reason why I've told you about it, is cause Terris has never called me by my name like that before. And I thought it was cute. Yeah I'm in love with another straight boi! I'll never learn my lesson! Leave me alone!! I think he knows that I am gay. Cause during one shift a few days ago, my 'gay rainbow' necklace was on the outside of my shirt, where everyone could see. I felt stupid once I realized it had been exposed for the entire day. So I think everyone knows now. Oh well. No biggy. Anyways, now for a not so cute story. Everytime I saw Terris last night, I got turned on. I think it was because I was so exhausted. Everytime Terris entered the room, "TEN-HUT!". It was so annoying so, if you can believe it or not, I had to stop looking at Terris everytime he came in. Well that's all for now. I'm just bored sitting at work and thought I would write something quick.
(07/06/01)I went shopping last night with Jaws last night. I spent about $300 bucks! And I'm trying not to think about either. I told her last night as we were leaving the store, "I better close my eyes until we get outside! I'm not buying any more clothes... until my next pay cheque that is." It was funny, you had to be there I guess. I saw the cute boy again, the one that was in my office attending the meeting. I wish I had a name for him, so I can refer to him by name. I wish I could find a cute boy to love and for him to love me. I want the whole romance thing now-a-days. I want to be hugged and kiss after a long days work. I want to go out for dinner and be able to smile and look deep into his eyes and just have that knowing feeling that he's thinking, "I love you too". I want him to be bestfriend too. I want to go into one of those photobooths they have in malls and sit in there with him and take cute couple type pictures. I want one of those t-shirts that say, "I'm not gay! But my boyfriend is", and for it to be true. I want to go on dates, and introduce him to my friends and say, "This is my boyfriend". Or talk with my friends and tell cute stories of the cute romantic things he says to me, or does for me. I want to be surprised at work with a rose or something from him. Most importantly, I want someone to lie next to in bed and hug and hold and talk too. I want to share morning's with someone. I want to go for long walks and be able to hold hands, to lay on the soft green grass and just stare at each other. I wish I could find a cute boy that I can rest my head on his shoulder. I want him to be supportive and caring. I want him to be facinated with me, completely interested in me. ... .. But when is it going to happen? I've spent most of my life not looking for love. I mean isn't that when its suppose to come? I don't want to be alone anymore. I don't want to pretend I'm happy anymore. I don't want to say things are fine when things acutally suck. I don't want to say I'm happy for someone who already has a boyfriend. I just want to be loved. When is it going to be my turn? Where's my cupid? I don't ask for me... at least I don't think I do. I'm sure alot of people I know would say I'm a 'giver'. But maybe I'm not. Maybe I'm not doing something right to be happy. Maybe I don't deserve love. THIS IS STUPID! WHO THE HELL AM I PLEADING TOO ANYWAY? YOU CAN'T DO ANYTHING ABOUT IT!
(08/06/01) 7:50am Guess who I fell in love with yesterday? Ian. Ian is this waiter at Nickel's. I think he's cute. I love his brown curly hair. And he has nice eyes too. I went out to dinner with Kevin last night, and we went to Nickel's. Oh before I get to that part of the story, guess what happened to me. As you know, I went shopping on Wednesday night, and I spent about $300! Well, when I checked my bank statement yesterday I had a huge chunk of money missing! So after work I investigated the whole situation. What happen was, was that Eddie Bauer took $420 out of my bank account. All I bought was a 42 dollar shirt. They pushed a zero, and I didn't look at the screen when I was entering my PIN number and stuff. So I went back to Eddie Bauer and got my money back! Whew! I was dreading the thought of them giving me credit! I mean, what the hell was I going to buy at Eddie Bauer? To spend that much money? Anywhozel, after that, Kevin and I went out for dinner. And I suggested Nickel's cause I've been there before. So we went there. Jason was our waiter. I think he's gay, but not my type. Anyways, this cute waiter walks by and I'm hoping he'd be the one to wait on us. But we didn't get him, we got Jason. So during our dinner, I kept trying to steal a couple glances at Ian. I was trying to see if he was wearing a name tag for one, which he wasn't. Plus I was trying to get a full view of what he looked like. But wouldn't you know it? He caught me every single time! Which was driving me crazy. I couldn't get any good looks at him. I just want to point a few interesting moments 'we' shared... LOL. He was singing/lip syncing to this boy band song. I've heard it on the radio a few times. But he knew the words to it! He did that while I was talking to Kevin, I saw him at the corner of my eye and I stop talking and starting watching Ian. Then I had to apologize to Kevin and I lost my track of thinking. This boi really did a number on me last night. Let's see what else did the cute and sexy Ian do? He was rubbing a co-workers leg. Oh, I guess I should tell you how I managed to see so much. We sat in the middle of the restuarant. And to my right, is where they all sat while taking breaks. And we went in at a time where the wait staff was starting to break. I think Ian has just finished his as we were walking in. Anyways, that's where Ian would always end up. So that's how I managed to see alot of him. Okay, let me tell you how I figured out his name. I was feeling bold and I tell Kevin, "The next time Jason comes by, I'm going to ask him 'what is the name of the guy with the curly brown hair?'". We kind of laugh on it a bit, and turned into a dare. So Jason flitters on by, but wouldn't you know it? Ian was always in ear shot range, so I didn't want to ask right then. Well, eventually, Ian goes out on the patio for some reason and Jason comes and drops off Kevin's wrapped food and I say, nervously: "Can I ask you a question?" And Jasonsays, "Sure". And I say, "What's the name of that waiter out there, (I point towards the patio and we can see Ian walking away from us), with the brown curly hair?" So Jason turns and looks and says, "Ian." And I say, "Oh, thanks." And then Jason asks me, "Is there any particular reason why? Do you know him?" Of course I wanted to say, I think he's cute? Is he gay? Single? But instead I simply say, "No, I was just curious, but thanks." And then Jason says thanks and walks away. And as he goes back towards the kitchen, guess who he bumps into? Ian! I'm hoping Jason told Ian that I asked what his name was. I'm thinking they did. Cause at first, Ian didn't come out and about for a little bit. But then he did, and he was walking behind me, but Kevin could see him. And Kevin said he had this embarassed type smile on his face. The kind of smile you get when you find out somebody likes you. How cute is that!? However, it was still a few more minutes before I got to see Ian again. Finally he stood out by the bar area, where I has a sliver of a view of him. He looked in my direction every now and then. I could see him from the corner of my eye. Then finally he came around with a rag, in an area that has been already cleaned by Jason. But he picks a table right in front of me, and wipes it. Of course I get a good view of his ass, and he didn't wipe the table like he was cleaning it either! What a BIG tease eh? (Wait a minute! I just realized that I could have been set up in a sting operation. What if it was planned? What if Jason was in a place where I couldn't see him, and Ian told him, "I'll casually go and wipe a table and you tell me if he looks at my ass." And off they went. DO YOU KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS?!? Cause I don't, somebody clue me in!)
Anyways, I just wanted to share that little drama with you all. I guess I should tell you what Kevin thought of Ian huh? Well Kevin wasn't attracted to him. He didn't really find him cute. He said, "You don't have worry about us having a 'falling out' over him". Maybe it was the curly hair. I asked him what his type was, and he pointed out at this little skinny raver type boy. And I said, "uh-uh, you can have him". Kevin likes the tall, skinny and narrow shoulder guys. I on the other hand like guys with broad shoulders, proportioned arms and legs. That's what I mostly care about, anything else is just added extras. Ian has a boyish look. He also looks like the type to be an art-se type guy. He probably plays the guitar or something. Or he pants. I can also picture him dressing like an art-se type type look. You know, with baggy cords, an old 70's shirt. A very expression based motif. Anyways, enough about Ian for now. I'm going to start doing some work.
3:00pm I'm almost finished work. I just wanted to tell you about my dream last night. I don't believe I've mentioned Chris before in my log. Chris is a guy that eats with us at work every now and then. I think Chris is a cutie, but, he's just too skinny for me. He's a really nice guy, a HUGE flirt, even with me. But I'm sure he doesn't know I'm gay. He's just a flirty guy. Well, in case I haven't mentioned him before, I'll quickly describe him. He's about 6'3", taller than I am. He has medium brown hair, brown eyes. Cute little lips, perfect looking too. He has amazingly huge hands. Sexy hands. He's cute and really nice. Anyways, I've never really been all that attracted to him. He's a buddy. But last night, in my dream. He either finds out I'm gay or I tell him. And at first he's a bit weirded out by it, but he tries his best to get along with it. So, yah-da, yah-da, yah-da... I can't remember what happens next, but we're grabbing a bite to eat. And he has no money so I buy him chicken or something. Oh, I just had a flash... I think before I we get something to eat, I think we are in bed. Like sleeping with each other. Not having sex, but just sleeping with next to him. Then we went and get something to eat. After that, yah-da, yah-da, yah-da, we end up at an arena where we watch a hockey game. But there is this woman with us, she has orangish, reddish hair. And I'm telling her without Chris knowing about it, that I think he's cute. And that he's cute cause he's trying so hard to be cool with me. Except he figures out something is going on, and he starts to freak out. Then in a very dramatic conclusion, he thinks I'm in love with him, and he yells at me telling me he trusted me. Then I felt bad, and then my dream fades off into something else. Weird huh? Well I saw him at lunch, and he looks at me oddly and says "hey hows it going?" It was kind of creepy, like what happened in my dream was real, and he was just being civil and keeping his distance as well. And I just got back from the washroom, and I bump into him in the hall and he says, "Hey!" and I turn and acknowledge him and he continues, "What's up with you dressing like that?" (I should mention that I'm wearing capri pants, a very first for me! I know it's kind of gay, but hey! I am!) And I must of gave him this stunned look, and I say, "It's Friday, dress down day." And he said, "I heard of casual Friday's but not dressing like your going to the beach day." I just laughed back. He's a cutie-pa-tootie. Well that's all for today. I plan on going out tonight, maybe see Geordie, Frank and Derek! Woo Who!!
(09/06/01)You'll never guess what happened to me at work yesterday. I couldn't believe it. Stan, my supervisor, asked me at the end of the day what my hours are. I was kind of surprised. I told him from 7:45 to 3:45. And then he said to me, did you get that authorized from me? I need to know these things. And that really knocked over me. I didn't know where any of this was coming from. It seemed like he was having a power trip or something. Then he tells me that lunch is only 30 minutes long. And I've been taking nearly an hour lunch for the past 5 weeks, and he hasn't told me a damn thing! I think someone in the office is influencing him. There must be more than one person who doesn't like me in the office. I'm so mad that I don't even want to type it out!!
(11/06/01)Well, I finally did. I let Jaws know that my 'HOTTIE' is a guy. She really hasn't said much about it. I'll have to let it sink in over night before I bring it up again. But that's all for now. Oh, other than the fact that Stan confronted me about the whole lunch hour thing and a few other things too! Let's see, he told me that lunch is only a half an hour. Which kills me, so I told him that everyone else takes an hour, (which goes against policy) and he said he'll look into it. 'Oh okay Stan'. Whatever, there's like a 1000 employee's and I'm the only one being forced to take a 30 minute lunch. And Stan was gone for 45 minutes. Plus he smokes, and can you believe he tried to justify that by telling me, "When I go out for smokes, I do talk issues and business." Whatever, give me a break. I just think he's taking a major power trip. But, I guess one of us has to be the bigger person. So I'm just going to bend over and take it up the keyshter!
(12/06/01)Last night, was my first night to officially close the store. I was smokin'! I'm so proud of myself. I'm a bit tired this morning though. I slept in til 7:45am! I must of hit the snooze button twice! But I woke up to the beautiful voice of my baby, Janet Jackson! Anyways, I'm just sitting here, with my gay rainbow necklace hanging around my neck for everyone to see. (I'm so popular in this office!) I think there are a few homophobes in the office.
Anyway, the reason I wrote was just to kill time really, but also to talk about Justin! Justin is this very cute boi that I work with. And I think he said he was 17! (Dragan, shut up, I don't need to hear it! hehehe) Anyway, Justin is cute as a button, and he already has a great body. Nice broad shoulders, dyed blonde hair, Nice thick neck. great ass. I'm so bad. I feel guilty for even looking. Oh well, I'm only a homo, right? Anyways, needless to say, my mind wandered a bit into my fantasy world... Well, we can dream right? In other news, I'm suppose to be hearing back from this guy I've been emailing. His name is Rob. I have no description of him. I really don't know anything about him. But he seems nice. So I gave him my phone number and he said he was going to call me this evening. So I'll keep you posted on the subject. That's all for now.
(13/06/01)Ok, so Rob called me last night. He's punctual. We talked for about 30 minutes, before deciding to meet up. I gave him a quick description of what I was wearing, and he did as well. I didn't know what to expect really. We decided to meet at Billing's Bridge where we would take the bus downtown to the market to get something to eat. So I went to Billing's Bridge, I barely made it on time. I told him I would be waiting on the outside of Buffalo Charlies at the corner. So on my way, I'm thinking, what if this guy is early? So I tried picking out guys with his description. So I see this guy walking towards me, black shorts, glasses, he looked right at me, but probably because I was staring at him right? But I wasn't sure if that was him. I kept on walking. I got to the corner and waited. And about 10 minutes later, the very same guy I passed in the mall was walking towards me. And it was Rob. We shook hands and off we went. We jumped on the bus and rode downtown. We finally made our way to Nickel's. I've already filled him in on the whole Ian drama. But guess who isn't there! Ian that's who! The conversation Rob and I had was boring. I found him to be a tad bit too self righteous for my taste. It seemed like all he wanted to do was lecture me on the choices I've made in my life. It was like he had all the answers. Rob is 25 years old. Another thing that was odd was the fact that I told him I was from London, and that it wasn't that far. Then he tells me that he has a boyfriend in Belleville and he says that's too far. Plus, he was going on, in a lecture type style that I shouldn't be looking for a boyfriend. He said I would be bored with just one guy. To a lay person, you'd think Rob didn't have a boyfriend or he was just bitter about the whole subject cause he didn't have one. But he does. You'd think he'd be doing the opposite, encouraging someone to get into a relationship. I dunno, he's a puzzle. I'm sure I must puzzle him as well. I kind of seized up and limited what I wanted to share with him. Anyways, after dinner, we took a quick walk throught the market, and then off to Major Hill and back towards Rideau Centre. From there, we went to two Optical type stores. Which is where I clued in on his "Let me say what I've got to say, and let me be right." I say that cause he kept saying the same thing over and over to the sales clerk. And the clerk was like, "Ok, but if you would..." And then he said his blurb all over again. Which was annoying as well. After we finished with Rideau Centre we went back to Billing's Bridge and he drove me home. Now it was only Tuesday, and he tells me, I'm busy for the rest of the week, so call me next week and maybe we can do something. And then he tells me, I might be busy this weekend too, I might go see my boyfriend. I was thinking, "Enough with the boyfriend thing..." that was annoying too. All in all, I got the impression he was interested. And I lost interest with the fact that he seemed not to be interested. I don't think I'll be calling him back anytime soon. I'll let him call me.
(14/06/01)Guess where I went to for the second time in a row? Nickel's! Somebody call me a loser. I feel like one. I went back there with Kevin. We had a great dinner. Of course Ian wasn't there again! Gosh this is getting frusterating. I've almost forgot what he looks like. Anyways, Kevin and I has a blast. We talked about all sorts of things. Like what we thought about red heads, (there was a new waiter and he had red hair). We both agree that red heads have perfectly round asses and that they are wild in bed. After dinner we decided to go watch a movie. We wanted to watch Bridget Jones's Diary, but it was playing too late. So instead we went to CentreTown Pub (CP). We had a beer there and chatted a bit more. We bumped into someone Kevin new from his work. He told me the whole dramatic story. We didn't talk to this guy, cause this guy seems to be ignoring Kevin or something. Oh! I forgot to mention that I bought two CD's before we going to CP. I bought both of S Club 7's albums. So we were driving down bank, back to my place listening to "Bring it all back"! What a cute song. Anyways, that was my evening last night. Completely relaxing, just what the doctor ordered.
(15/06/01)Yo! Nothing much new today. Just a bit bored. Thought I would kill some time by writing something down. Last night, Dan and I went to see The Animal. The movie was okay. Slightly predictable, but still enjoyable. It had that one chick from Survivor. Colleen Haskel? I'm not entirely sure of her last name. But she was from Survivor I. After the movie we parted our ways. I wasn't exactly tired, so I decided to stroll down to Buttoms Up to see who's there. No one I knew was there. Derek and Frank where there, but no Geordie. So I sat down for a bit and had a beer anyway. Frank came up to say hello, but of course, the bar wasn't really all that packed, so I was only a fimiliar... 'fan'. I didn't even finish my beer. I just ended up leaving and heading home. Well, that was that. I have to close the store tonight. I'm tired now and I really don't want to. But oh well, what can you do?
(18/06/01)How was your weekend? Mine? Unbelievable. I don't know where to start! Well, other than from the beginning. It feels like a whole week has passed since Friday. What I'm going to do is start with Friday afternoon...
Friday... I went to work and the air conditioning broke. I so didn't want to be there. I drank way too much pepsi to keep me cool. I got bloated. No one I liked was working. Justin was working but he was off before 8pm. The kitchen was way too hot to be in. I wasn't feeling good with all the pepsi I drank, so I started to feel sick. So I milked it up for what it was worth, and sent myself home! I was home around 8ish, and out of the shower and dressed around 8:30pm. All I had to do was wait til I went out! I left the house around 10:30 and arrived at Bottom's Up around 11ish. Geordie was there! Yah! So, as usual, I sat with him. He told me about this little get together he was going to have after the bar and invited me to go. So I thought that was cool of him. The evening went on as it normally does, we had a blast. They raffled off 2 gay cruise tickets again and guess who won! Geordie and I! He won his ticket first and then they called mine! I was incredible! I couldn't believe it. So we high fived each other for the next 30 minutes. hehehe. Around closing time, a girl named Tracey showed up. I've meet Tracey a few weeks prior. Tracey and Geordie hugged each other and said there "hello's" and "I love you's". It appeared they were pretty good friends. In anycase, I had to get in there and do the same thing. Tracey and got rooted into a cool conversation and before long, the bar was closing. And that's when I noticed Geordie was missing. I searched the bar high and low and couldn't find him. I asked Glen if he had seen Geordie leave. He didn't. (Glen is a friend of Geordie's. Glen is an absolute cutie-pa-tootie!) So Tracey and I finally decided to find another place to continue our little party. So we're standing outside getting a cab when Glen walks by. I ask him if he's going to Geordie's and he said no. But he gave us the address and we were off. We arrived at Geordie's I guess, alittle too late. He seemed tired, but he didn't exactly turn us away either. He invited us in and told us he'd be right down. So Tracey and I sat ourselves down in the dinning area and waited. We chatted a bit and realized that Geordie hasn't come back down, nor did we think he was going to. So I asked her where she was going to sleep and she said in the guest bedroom. And she asked me where I was going to sleep. So I said that I wanted to sleep with Geordie, but if he didn't want me too, then I'd be sleeping with here. I also told her that I didn't want to sleep alone. So she was cool with the game plan. We got upstairs and Geordie's light was on. So I walked and saw Geordie passed out. I then tried to figure out how to turn the light off. Me being slightly inebriated or just plain dumb, I could have used the light switch like a normal thinking person, but not me. I stood up on his bed and pulled the cord that hung from his light/ceiling fan thing. Then in the dark, I tried to feel where he was laying and lay beside him. But then, he suddenly wakes up and then kisses me. I went with it, who knew where this was going to lead. So after that, I laid my head on his chest and kind of hugged him and before you knew it, I was out as fast as a light.
Saturday... I woke up to someone knocking on the door. It was Tracey. She asked me where Geordie was. And it was then I realized I was alone. I had no idea where he was. Tracey left and went to find Geordie. I got dressed and went downstairs. I bumped into Tracey in the kitchen, filling a glass with water. I asked her if she found him. She said she did, but he was in a grumpy mood. So we both went downstairs and there he was, sleeping on the floor with the cartoons on. She gave him his water and left to go back upstairs. I stayed and watch the current cartoon. I figured Geordie just went back to sleep. So I went back upstairs to find Tracey. She weas checking her email on the computer in the guest room. I laid on the futon and asked her if she slept well. I also asked her who's room this was. And she said it belonged to Daryl. Daryl is Geordie's ex-roommate. I'm not sure what the story is there, but I guess it's pretty bad. Anyway, Tracey told me that Daryl now lives with her and that the stuff I see all belongs to Daryl. And that's when it clicked. Geordie must have been upset because Tracey was there. And I'm the one who brought her there. I felt like such an idiot! I felt so bad. I didn't know or it didn't occur to me that Tracey knew Daryl and I especially didn't know that Daryl was living with her. It was all starting to make sense. Except for why Geordie went downstairs to sleep? I didn't feel what had happened the night before was my fault. We were both drunk. And I certainly didn't start the ball rolling. So now I was starting to give myself this huge complex. It was long before Tracey and I left. I didn't tell her my whole discovery and why I thought Geordie was upset. So I was slightly hung over and wanted something to eat. Tracey wanted to go to a licensed establishment so she can have a beer. Eww gross. So we go to Wall Street, and I have breakfast while she has two beers. Then we go to the Royal Oak. I wanted to go home, but she says, "Oh come on, just for one drink." And guess what she does, she orders a pitcher. So I was completely annoyed and tired. I ended up leaving her, cause she was getting drunk again, plus it was damn hot in the bar cause they had no Air Conditioning. So I was completely drained and exhausted, and I had no time to sleep before work. Plus, I had to close. So my day was far from over. But I managed to survive and called Kevin cause he wanted to go out. I wasn't as dead as I thought I would be. So he comes and picks me up and I tell him my whole dramatic weekend so far. Then I ask him if he wanted to go to Bottoms Up cause I wanted to see Geordie and see if everything was okay between us. I was telling Kevin in the car that I was feeling really bad, and I didn't know why Geordie moved downstairs to sleep. It was really buggin' me. I wanted to know if I did anything wrong. Which I felt I didn't. I really wanted to clarify with Geordie that my only intentions was, was to just sleep with him. Not do anything else. So we get to Bottoms Up and the first person I see is Glen, (maybe it's because he's the doorman? I'm being sarcastic with myself). And he tells me its his birthday. So I give him a hug, which is cool, cause Glen is a cutie-pa-tootie! Then I introduce Geordie to Kevin. Things were fine. I asked him how the rest of this day went and he said super. He seem to be cool with me. I still didn't get anything resolved. I didn't get to tell him anything, or explain anything or even apologized. I figured I'm better off making baby steps.
Sunday... I slept in as much as I could. I woke up around 11 and gave Kevin a call. About an hour later we go to Denny's for breakfast. After sat down Kevin told me that while we were being showed to our table, I was walked ahead of Kevin, that the bus boy was checking me out. Of course I didn't believe him, but I had to see who the bus boy was. And man was he a cutie. So I'm sure he wasn't checking me out. But damn, what an ass! And beautiful green eyes, he was very tanned and needless to say, young. He looked like he was 17 or 18. My gawd, I've never really looked at guys that young before. That makes two now. I'm getting as bad as my pediphile buddy Dragan! hahaha. So after breakfast we decided to walk down Bank street and check out the gay stores. I wanted to see if they had any better 'pride' necklaces. But they didn't. I did however, buy that one print that reminds me of the time when Gaurav was tying my tie. (sigh) I'll never forget that day, especially now. We made our way down to the Market, were we looked at hundred more necklaces, just general necklaces. Then we went in search of a place to have my print enlarged. Cause I wanted an 8x10 of it. But most places wouldn't do it cause there might be a copyright violation. But I didn't finally find a place and I left my print there, so hopefully they'll be able to enlarge it without any problem. Then we ended up at Exchange Plaza to watch Bridget Jone's Diary. It was an okay movie. I almost fell asleep in the middle. But it was an okay flick. Then he drove me back here. Where I've been napping and watching TV and listening to music and now writing here. Today has been great. It has been totally relaxing, and I've done nothing but peace and relaxing things. And now I'm going to bed, cause I'm exhausted still. Night.
(19/06/01) So I went downtown to pick up my print. And guess what! They did it. I've got an 8x10 of "Family Ties". I love that picture. My next step is to find a frame for it. I'm thinking of using 'mat' board for a basic frame until I figure out what kind of permanent frame I want to use. In other news, I saw my HOTTIE today. He was wearing his white T-shirt, that looks really old and blue jeans. And he sat right next to our table. Anyways, I saw him sitting there and I kind of puffed out my chest a bit and walked right towards him, then passed him and sat down at the next table. I should have said something then, but you know me, BIG chicken. At least I got to check out his unbelieveable ass today. And my gawd! It's perfectly round! And absolutely cute! Ok, that's it! C'est ca!
9:45pm Rob and I went to St. Laurent this evening. Well, first we met up at Billing's Bridge, where we then walked around. He was looking for plants. So we ventured into Zellarsk, didn't find plants though. Then we sat and had dinner in the food court, I had a sub from Subway... blah, blah, blah. So we get to St. Laurent and our main goal is too look for plants. So we venture to all these "Green Earth" type stores, I don't know if Ottawa has a "Green Earth" store but anywhozel... It was soooo gay to see Rob checking the entire store out. The second we walked into, behind his back, I point at him and mouthed "Oh My Gawd He's soooo gay!" The good thing about the entire adventure, is that I saw a few mentionable HOT guys. Like the guy at the cell phone booth. I think it's Roger's AT&T, I'm not sure. But he's got this cute little ass, curly hair and glasses. He kinda looked like that guy on Nutty 2:The Klumps, Sherman's assistant, Jason. I don't know if you guys know who I'm talking about. Anyways, the cell phone guy looked like him, but with shorter hair. And there was this one guy at Toys R'Us... I think he was checking me out, or trying to get my attention cause he kept on walking by me. At first I thought he was one of those secret shoppers. But I don't think so. He was kinda cute. So I started to take longer looks at him to see what he did, and he just looked back. I mean, what do you do in situations like this? I'm trying to be a new bold person, but I'm never entirely sure what to do. So this little story ends in failure. Nothing more happens. He did have a friend with him, some big computer playin' geek type friend. So the mall closes and Rob and I leave back to Billing's Bridge. However, we sit together on the bus, and everyone can see my little gay necklace and a few people look at us both and smile. And I'm sitting there wondering what the heck is going through there minds. I'm sure they thought we were going out. The night ends and Rob drives me home. However, when I got home Gina was up. And we started to chat about this and that. Especially about Shawn Roy, the guy who was found in Montreal in the St. Lawrence river. She told me he was gay and he had just gone out for some fun. She was worried about me, and she asked me how I'm meeting these guys and I told her. And then she sounded disappointed and she wanted me to stop, and I was like, but how am I suppose to meet anyone? I finally reassured her that everything was alright, and that I'm really careful about the things I do. And that I'd be more careful from now on. That seemed to calm her a bit. Well that's all for today, I'm hitting the fart sac. Oh geez! I forgot to mention what I was suppose to say! The reason why I'm even writing anything today. On our way home from Billing's Bridge, guess who I see walking down the street! Terris and some girl! I was mortified! I yelled out "Hey you bitch, keep your hands off him!", the windows were up so I don't think they heard me! So now, I have to ask Terris about that girl. Ask him if that was his girlfriend. I hope it isn't, I hope it isn't...
(20/06/01)WAAAAAAHHH!!! It's over! It's all over! Last night I had to close the store. And Terris was working. I wanted to ask him about the girl all evening. And it was close to the end of his shift when I finally got a chance to ask him. I said, "Hey, I saw you last night walking down the street... with some girl. Is that your girlfriend?" And do you know what he did? He didn't even look at me and said, "Yup". And that was that. This completely sucks! All my dreams are crushed. I was going to love him, move to Vermont, get married and adopt some third-world country kids! But now that dream is smoked! Damn, Terris is HOT! And that bitch gets him! I'm soooo I feel like pulling a Y&R subplot of breaking them up. But then again, in the tradition of love, I guess I can just let him go. His happiness means everything to me! Whatever! I just wanted to suck his C***!
(22/06/01)Good Morning gentlemen. I had an interesting night. First of all, I just wanted to say that I've developed this N'Sync craze. It's driving me nuts! All I want right now, is JC sitting on my dick. hehehe, that was graphic! Anyway, it all started yesterday when Stacey started forwarding pictures of JC to me. And I put one of them on my computer as a wallpaper. And that was pretty much what started it. Yesterday evening, I was showing Gina a picture of JC cause I told her about my wallpaper and all. But I realy couldn't find a good picture until we passed the check outs. Then I saw this magazine and showed her. She thinks he's cute too. So later that evening, Kevin comes and picks me up and we go to South Keys Chapters and I try and find the same magazine. But I couldn't find it. I was getting annoyed and grumpy. I did however, buy there new single POP. I finally got my 'fix', and it satisfied my craving for JC. But afterwork, I'm marching right down to Billing's Bridge and picking up that damned magazine! I've got to have it! It had a really good picture of him in it and I need it! I want it! hehehe Today I'm going to do my best to be bold and finally confront my HOTTIE today. I've gone over hundreds of situations and things to say to him. Of course I'll forget each and everyone and look like a huge NERD in the process, but hey, what can you do. So I'll keep you up dated on that as I go along.
(2:08pm) You'll never guess who I met. Let me start with yesterday. In training there was two young guys in my class. One didn't seem interested in my training or me for that matter. But the other guy seemed to be. He almost seemed to be shy or something when ever I looked at him. So anyways, I was on the 5th floor this morning, and he was there. His name is Mez, that' s a shortened nickname of his full name. He's kind of cute, the intellectual type. Well, I'm doing my inventory and at the corner of my eye I see Mez walking around and he sees me. Then I lose site of him, and I continue walking around a bit. Then I see him sitting at his desk and he looks over at me. So I finally got bold and brave and walk over. All the while, he's got the corner of his eye on me, probably wishing I'd come up and talk to him. So I did. I walked up and I was nervous and sooo aware of my tongue. And I managed to blurt some incoherent statement out. Then he said what? And then I got embarassed and I said hi. And then we just started chatting. I asked what he does and what the entire floor does. I already know, but I listen to him tell me anyway. And I look at his face, he's got nice shaped lips, nice brown round eyes, and I like the intellectual type too. I'm not entirely sure what race he is, but he has nice even brown skin. So anyways, he goes on to tell me that he has a degree in biology. And currently taking a managment degree. And he asks me if there are any other jobs available. Cause he wants to be working something in management. I said I don't know. We couldn't chat for long cause of the type of work he does. So I had to leave. So as I was leaving I was walking backwards, looking him straight in the eyes and said: "Maybe I'll see you round..." And gave him a little smile and then turned around. And as soon as I did that, I got the biggest chessiest smile on my face and I felt stupid. Oh well. Maybe I've stumbled onto something here. So after lunch, I did a little researching for the information he mentioned. And I just got back from delivering it to him. I was kind of nervous and I felt stupid, but hey, it would appear to the lay person that I'm only doing a selfless good deed. But really, I just wanted to see him again. So I see him again, and I say "Hey you," very informal like were good buds and I give him the stuff. Hopefully he's a bit impressed. And then he tells me, "I've got this feeling that I've met you before, or I've seen you from some where." And I say, "Well I don't see how that's possible, I've only been here for about 2 weeks." And that was that. Oh, I should mention, I gave him my work number too! I wonder if he'll call me. I printed out some job ads, but not the descriptions, so I tell him: "If your interested in any of those jobs, just give me a call and I'll print them up and run 'em on up here." Cool eh? I'm such a cat! Just wanted to tell someone before I burst!
(25/06/01) Hey all! I�m bored to death sitting here at work. I should be working, but I have nothing to work on. So I figured I�d get caught up with my log entries. Gosh, it�s been almost 2 months! 2 whole months of my life recorded. And I have 3 supplementary log entries. I kinda thought I would have more, but oh well. Let see, what did I do all weekend? Hmmm, well on Friday night I worked. Then I went home, took a shower and waited till around 10:30pm before heading out to Bottoms Up. I got down there, and Geordie isn�t there. But Glen is and I sit next to him all night. Geordie didn�t show up until way later that night. I think after 12am. I chatted with this one dude, he looked kind of cute, so did his buddy. He commented me on my lips. That�s the first. Anywhozel, I slept for about 12 hours that night. Lots of sleep. Then I got up, took a shower, did some shopping on eBay. I bought another All For You CD single, this one contains her video. And I placed a bit on Janet�s new single. And I also placed a bid on Geri�s single of It�s Raining Men! And hmmm, what else did I do. I did some laundry. Oh and I watched the Pre-Game show of N�Sync, then I recorded the N�Sync special that followed. JC is soooo gay, and I love him. I love him for the man he wants to be, I love him for the man he almost is. I love him, I love him! So after that I figured I�d go buy something downtown. So I left my place around 6:30pm, and got downtown around 7 or so, and the stupid mall is closed! I thought the mall was open til 9pm. Oh well, so I walked down Bank and stopped at Roger�s and bought, "The Next Best Thing" and "Blairwitch Project". Then I finally made it home. Then I did the dishes and then started The Next Best Thing. I then realized that I had to open on Sunday, which sucked! So I figured I wouldn�t go out. But Tracey calls me and invites me down to Club Polo. So I figured why not. Never really been there, just once with Paul. It was cool. I met up with Marshall. Marshall is Glen�s boyfriend. Marshall is cool. I enjoyed his company. Interesting guy to talk with. I�ll tell you tough, I didn�t exactly enjoy Daryl�s company. He�s such a queen and it bugs me to death. I just can�t stand queens. (Some guys! Some guys can pull off that whole queen thing and they�re awesome at it. But when Daryl does it, I just want to rip off my own arm, just so I�d have something to throw at him!) Anywhozel, back to my story, after Club Polo, we all decided to go to ICON. A bar I�ve never been to, so that was exciting. ICON has three levels. I�ve seen only two of them. The bottom is like a drag show lounge. We missed the current act, and they were on a 20 minute break! So we moved to the third floor, which is a house dance club. I�m completely amazed at the interior of the third floor. Very cool. Very clean lines, it looks like a lot of expense went into designing the top floor. It was awesome. The red walls were a excellent touch. Anyways, we played pool and drank until 2am. In which case we tried to go to Bottoms Up to catch last call, but we didn�t thank god. So then I went home!
Yesterday, I went to work. I didn�t dread it or anything. It was an okay day. It went by quickly and I had fun as always. Justin came in around 4pm, near the end of my shift. I think my stares lingered too long, cause he looked at me kind of weird once. So, after work, I had dinner with the housemates and Noel�s brother. Then I went in, tried to watch Edward Scissorhands. But I got board, then I went downstairs and caught Janet�s new video! I don�t like it. I just pictured something more fun. Something along the lines of Go Deep�s video, with a bit of All For You�s video with a touch of Doesn�t Really Matter�s video. But oh well, what can you do?
Finally, this morning. I slept in. I didn�t get up until 7:08am! I remember my alarm going off at 6:15am, but that was it! I must of turned it off, which is a first! Anyways, that pretty much catches you up. Nothing too exciting. Talk to you later!
(27/06/01)Last night completely sucked! Dan stood me up! Which left me with nothing to do! So I basically took it out on Noel. I hate wasting my time off not doing anything. And I can't stand spending time alone at the house cause I'm never alone. I my fuse was short. What I really should have done was go to bed, which had crossed my mind. I tried calling Rob, even though I said I was going to be busy, but he wasn't in. So I ended up calling Tracey. I knew she'd be up for anything. So she invites me to come over to her place. But she lives in Hull, and I didn't know my way around there. So I told her I'd give her a call when I got downtown. I got downtown nearly 45 minutes later. I called her and she said she'd meet me at Club Polo in 30 minutes. So I went down to Rideau Centre to go to Taco Bell, I didn't eat yet, so I figured I had enough time. Turns out though, I didn't! I missed my bus to get back to Club Polo, and I ended up hoofing it. I got to Club Polo around 10 to 9pm. And she wasn't there, I figured she left. So I give her a call and she said she didn't even leave yet and that she'd at Club Polo in another 30 minutes. Well, I wasn't about to wait, so I hop on the next bus into Hull and I start searching for her place. Well, let me tell yah, about an hour later, I finally find her street, but I couldn't find her house. I used the closest pay phone and call her. And she tells me that she's downtown. So I ended up walking all the way back into Ottawa, then catching a bus and meeting her at WallStreet. Were I finally sat down and relaxed with a pint of Moosehead! nearly 3 hours after I originally called her, we finally meet up. I stayed with her for as long as I could and made it home around 12am. Now I'm sitting here at work, tired, wishing I had stayed in and just slept. Cause I'm way tired, and I have to close the store tonight! Uggh!
(28/06/01)Last night was terrible. I was so busy at work! And I don't even know what happened! We had orders backed up for 2 hours. Not to mention the lobby was just lined right up. I didn't get a break to myself at all. We made nearly 1500-1700 in the 5 hours I was there. I had to call in the manager to help me out! I was freakin' out! I didn't know what to do! I felt like such a loser! So the manager got there, and started to handle all the complaints. And the rest of us cleaned up the restuarant. It was 10:30pm and I haven't even begun to clean up. Normally, if it was a normal night, at 10:30pm, I would be starting my inventory. Meaning, that my kitchen area would have been completely cleaned and restocked. Gawd, I hope I don't have to work anther night like that one.
Anyways, Kevin and I are heading on out to the movies tonight. I don't know what to watch. He's a pretty easying going guy and I know he'll let me pick what ever it is I want see. I really want to check out A.I., but that isn't opening until tomorrow. So, I guess it comes down to Atlantis eh? I'll fill you in of course with what I see tonight.
Oh guess what!? I went into the cafe, and I decided, I'll get toast today. So I jump in line, get my toast and walk over to the cash. And I scan the cafe as usual to look for my HOTTIE and as soon as my eyes land on him, he's looking at me. And he gets up and walks towards me. I panic and look away. But then I look back at him and he's still coming towards me. Stupid me, I should be trying to read this name tag, but I don't. I just look away again. And then he walks right by me and into the... the place where you get your food... kitchen. And I pay for my stuff, and I look back just one last time and we ended up both looking at each other! What's going on here? Is this a sign or what?
Okay, enough rambling, I'm ending this one right here...
