*Note all entries are added cronicological order from the begining of the month to the end. (dd/mm/yy)
(01/01/03)Wow, this is it. This is where my year begins. Okay, let's start with what I did last night. Considering that the New Year started at "o-hundred hours" and I was still awake.
I was sitting in the strip club section of Skye, I have no idea what it is called. I'll have to ask Glen the next time I see him. Anyway, the DJ started counting down or something, I noticed a bunch of the dancers climbing onto the stage. It took me a few seconds to realize what was going on. I got up and ran over to the other side of the floor, the next bar and I luckily ran into Glen, Marshall and Dragan.
Glen is a fellow that I met about a year and a half ago. He lives in Montreal and that's where we stayed while we were there. Marshall is a guy that I met about a year and a half ago too. I know Marshall a bit more because he lives in Ottawa and we hang out quite often. Dragan is my best bud that moved from London a year after I did. I met Dragan about 2 and half years ago. I'm not going to go into further details about these blokes because I'm sure, over time, you'll learn enough about them yourselves.
So, back to New Years, I ran into the other bar and saw Glen, Marshall and Dragan all standing in a row and in that order. I kissed them all on the lips (eww) and gave them a hug and wished them a happy New Year. My memory is somewhat cloudy because I was well on my way to a good buzz.
I do remember all of us sitting in the strip club section of the Skye. We had a few drinks and we were smoking some cigarettes. I asked Marshall if I could borrow his phone and I ran into the stairwell and phoned my parents. They were just going to bed. They didn't do anything special other than watch the NYC special on TV.
I returned to the table and continued to watch the strippers. Oh yeah, I got up at some point and went to the bar to order another drink. But when I got there, two bartenders and some other guy or 2 people, offered me a shot. I explained that I didn't order it but they prompted me that it was okay. So I took the shot. Score!
The next thing I remember is watching a dancer and thinking on how attractive he is. I also decided to grab a dance from him. I barely remember walking over to him, gosh I feel like a tard. I didn't know exactly what I said, but he asked, do you want a dance? I said yes. So off we went, I didn't know the dance lounge was close to where we were seated. I was hoping no one would notice me.
I had two dances and paid the guy $20. It wasn't really worth it. At this point, I was pretty drunk. I think. We for some reason, left Skye and continued on our bar hoping parade. I walked ahead with Glen and I remember saying to him� (oh gawd, I can't believe I'm saying this) But I remember slurring out, "I want to see some uncut guys, show me some uncut guys!"
I have no clue as to what I was saying! Even now, I don't know why I would want to make such a request. I can't remember a response from him. But I do know that we ended up back at Campus. Which is a male strip club. We got a table close to the little bar off to the right of the entrance. There was a table set up with little sandwhiches on it, cold-cut, cheese and tuna, as I remember Dragan telling me. I must have had 5 or 6 of those little tuna sandwhiches, they were good!
The next thing I remember is following Glen down a hallway in which he was purchasing something. Then we proceeded to the third floor bathroom. Moments later we were downstairs with the rest of the gang. This is where I have a huge portion of my memory missing, or jumbled up. I remember talking briefly with Marshall and he wanted to go to Parking. I told him that I would go look for Glen. Glen was playing the video slots. After that, Glen and I were sitting at our table without Dragan or Marshall.
At the time, I didn't care to notice. A stripper by the name of Michael joined us. He's an acquaintance of Glen's. What seemed moments later, I must of said something to Glen and then Glen said something along the lines of, he wants to feel you. I dunno, that lead to Glen buying me a few dances with Michael. So off we went.
Michael was a good dancer. He had a nice body too! If memory serves me correctly he was a slightly bigger guy. Not some twink, but a guy with a nice broad frame. He had some chest hair, which was soft to the touch. He had a great body though. I don't know if he had a six back or not, but he sure did have some nice pecs and arms!
Anyway, Michael gave me several dances. I'm not sure how many! I can definitely say it was for 4 dances. It was pretty cool! I can't believe the things I was doing while he was dancing. I think back and just have to say "shame, shame!" It was totally out of character! I took a break from Michael and Glen took over. I walked around the bar and finally noticed that Marshall and Dragan were gone! I wasn't alarmed about it just yet. I was still in a bit of blue heaven with Michael. I can't believe I went to the bank machine and pulled out $60. Don't worry, I didn't blow it all on more dances!
After Glen popped out, I ran up to Michael and grabbed him again! I only grabbed another 2 dances and then I went off to find Glen. I couldn't find him. I went downstairs and out the door and ended up being locked out! I had to wait until someone came out to let me back in. I ran back upstairs and found Glen at the bar. The bartender was counting out a large sum of money to Glen. He won on the stupid video slots! $900! Can you believe that?
So anyways, we both left the bar and Glen was worried about Marshall. I started to ask questions about the wearabouts of Dragan. He told me that Dragan picked up and they went to the Oasis to fuck! I was a tad bit upset because Dragan would just run off like that. Glen also told me that he gave Dragan his phone number.
We walked over to Parking to look for Marshall, but we couldn't get in. So then we started to devise another plan. Glen wanted to go back to Campus to see if Michael was still there. But we couldn't get in. Glen then caught a glimps of Michael, and I asked him if he wanted to get his attention. Glen said no and we started down the street. We managed to walk all the way down to the other end of the village where Studs is. Glen bought us some water and we sat there. We left a message on Marshall's phone to call us back.
We only waited for like 5 minutes or so when he did call. He said he was walking down the street in our direction. So we got up to meet him. We found him about a block away from Skye. Then we all started to walk back towards Parking, which is the other side of the village. Glen seemed to be happy that he found Marshall, but then I started to worry about Dragan. I was thinking in my mind that we needed to find him, I needed to stop in Oasis while we were walking by. Anyway, we totally passed the place up and we almost reached Parking when I totally flipped.
"We need to find Dragan before we leave!" I yelled out. Glen told me that he gave Dragan his number and Marshall told me that Dragan could find his way home. Well that wasn't good enough for me, so I turned around and went back to Oasis. I swear, Glen and Marshall were just going to leave Dragan downtown!
I got to Oasis and the lobby area was just packed! There must have been like 30 or so guys in there waiting to get in. Glen and Marshall told me that they were going to be next door at this restaruant waiting for me. I can't remember the name of it.
So I waited and waited trying to think of how I was going to find Dragan in the maze of all those rooms! And what do you know, Dragan comes bursting out shouting out, "You can get laid in there!" I was pretty upset with him, and I just grabbed him and dragged him out of there. I can just imagine what most of those guys thought, some sort of boyfriend dispute or something. I didn't say much to Dragan other than the fact that everyone was just going to leave him downtown, but I stayed to look for him. Then Dragan started to tell me that he told me that he was leaving. And I told him that I didn't remember. Then it clicked in. Dragan did come and tell me. While I was getting a dance! I remember Dragan walking in and poking his head in and I just waved him off.
Anyways, we found Glen and Marshall and sat with them. I was a bit upset, but over played it with the amount of alcohol in me. I went to the bathroom for a bit� I was having a coughing fit or something. And then returned to our seat. Dragan wanted to talk about my problem right then and there, but I just said to forget about it, and that everything was cool because I had found him.
The service at this restaurant sucked because it took awhile for us to get our food. Dragan ordered me a poutine, which I got, but Glen didn't get his food. We ended up leaving. We walked down the street towards Parking again and passed it up. We tried to flagged down a cab. I was getting really tired at this point and I think those tuna sandwhiches and poutine were beginning to absorb most of the alcohol in my blood. We managed to catch a cab and went back to Glen's. Once we got there, I just passed right out! They stayed up a bit longer, and I can't remember if they were talking about me when I was trailing off or not.
I'm not sure when I woke up, it must have been around 11:30am or so. I looked around and notice that Marshall was sleeping in the next bed. There were two single beds in the room. I must have woken Marshall up when I got up. I went to the bathroom to cough up all the flem that accumulated over the night. And I also blew my nose too. Then I opened the patio door to air out the place and too cool it off. It was bloody hot in the apartment. Marshall came out shortly afterwards and Dragan eventually got up and went to bed in the room I was sleeping in.
I found some coffee and made that and then Glen surfaced. We sat around for a bit and then I got in the shower to get ready for breakfast. We walked down to this resturant called Chez Cora's, which wasn't even open. Nothing was opened. So we ended up getting a bunch of breakfast food at the Esso station.
When we got back, friend's of Glen showed up and Dragan was awake too. I was started to feel hung over and starving. Dragan ordered pizza and Glen cooked up grilled cheeses, hamburgers, and scrambled eggs. It was quite the feast, but I didn't eat as much as I usually did. I wasn't feeling too social, so I went to lie down for a bit.
About an hour later, Dragan wanted to go back to Ottawa. So we packed up our things and left by 4 or so. I was dreading my return back to my apartment because Matt could have been there, but he wasn't which was just as cool. I didn't want to confront him yet about anything. We got back to Ottawa around 6:30 or so that evening. I just popped in a movie and went to sleep!
(02/01/03)Another day! Nothing major happened today. Oh, I might as well tell you now. I do plan on writing in my log on a regular basis, but I don't necessarily plan on writing in it every single day. But just to give you some of the highlights, I went to the university to check my email. Nothing special sent. Hmmm, what else. Oh yeah, my buddy Sydney was logged on to yahoo messenger. So we ended up chatting for a bit. Sydney is this guy that I met nearly two years ago through gay.com, I think. We have something in common and have been chatting about it ever since. I'm planning on going to visit him later at the end of this month. Hopefully things will work out.
Anywhooch, after chatting with him I decided to get my bus pass, then I returned home and did some laundry. Dragan called me and told me that he was going to swing on by and pick up his "Mary J Blige" CD, surely, I had no idea what he was talking about.
He showed up and we had a smoke and then he was on his way. I didn't do anything else that night, that is, until he called me around midnight. Dragan calls me up and tells me that he had found a note left on the kitchen table from one of his roommates. It said that the reason why his cat was locked in his room was because it kept scratching the furniture, which was valued at $2200. Which I think is insane. I told him not to worry about it and that was that.
I started to get ready for bed around 1:45 or so and Dragan calls me again. He tells me this time he had a chat with his roommates. He was basically getting to the point that he wasn't leaving in 60 days like he was suppose to!
Naturally, I got upset. I had to move out within 60 days and I certainly didn't want to move in with him for an additional 30 days before we could get a place of our own. I can't believe those girls could manipulate him and make him feel guilty for moving out. And I can't believe Dragan would even consider trying to shaft me!
He tells me on the phone that he wants to be fair and I tell him that what he was doing to me was unfair! The most unfair thing in the world! I wanted a decision out of him right then and there, but he isn't going to give one until tomorrow.
If he decideds to stay, he's really going to screw himself up! Because I have to get a new place, and come March 1st, I'll end up moving in with a new roommate and when it comes time for Dragan to move, he'll have to get a place for himself. So I hope he realizes that when he "Sleeps on it" tonight.
(03/01/03) Dragan's decision (Coming Soon!)
(07/01/03) I've got nothing to say today. I just wanted to say that Tom and I saw The Lord of Rings: The Two Towers today. This is my third time watching this movie. I saw it the first time with Marshall back in December. Then I saw it again with Dragan after I got back from home. The movie rocks and I'm totally in love with Legolas, the elf. He's such a hottie and generally I don't go for blondes either! The guy who plays Legolas is Orlando Bloom who is normally has very dark hair! Anyway Legolas is HOT and he looks great in his tights!
(14/01/03)I went to Marshall yesterday about an emergency loan I was hoping to get from the Univeristy. As it turned out, he wasn't able to co-sign for the loan. Which really ended up sucking for me. I called Dragan to see about this appointment he was trying to set up for me in regards to an apartment. When I called him, he said he was on his way to view a place in the market. He asked me to go along with him.
This place is at the back of the market, it's several blocks away from the main commercial area. And it's also located fairly close to King Edward. I don't think it'll be a huge problem living that close to it, considering there is a house between the apartment and the street.
As for the place, it's sweet. It's on the second floor of a duplex style home. The owners have just recently bought the place and live below the apartment they are renting out. It's a 2 bedroom apartment that has 2 balconies and a skylight in the hallway. It's a great place! Lots of light and the windows are fairly large. Dragan really likes the place. However, he is the type of guy to settle for what he sees first. I'm a bit hesitant because the bedrooms are not of equal size. He did offer to take the smaller bedroom, but I don't know if that'll cause future problems. I'm also hesitant about the location, it will be quite the walk for me to get to school. I won't be riding the bus as much that's for sure. Also, spring is coming up, so it shouldn't be much of a problem. But it is a fair distance from Rideau.
The 'pros' to accepting this place would have to be the length and size of the place. Another bonus is the five appliances available. The place includes a fridge, stove, dishwasher, washer and dryer. And the price is really cheap too! It'll be a tough decision, but I'd rather look at a few more places before committing to this one.
After the viewing, I went to class which was cancelled. So I made my way over to Gina's to ask her to co-sign for the loan. It was kind of awkward to go back there, considering I've developed a pattern of asking for favors. It was nice to see everyone again. I stayed for dinner, which as usually, when Gina cooks, is finger food oriented. We had nachos and chilli. It was still good considering I haven't had a homemade meal in quite sometime.
I couldn't stay long because I thought I had to work that evening. So I left Gina's around 6:30pm. I caught the bus home and grabbed my Stuff. I made my way to Burger King to find out that I didn't have to work after all. I've been scheduled to work tonight and Wednesday night.
Since I didn't have anything else planned, I called Marshall. He said that he was going to meet up with some guy named Gabriel at 8:30, and hopefully they would be cuddling by 10pm LOL, I just added the last part. I called up Tom after that and he agreed to meeting up at Rideau for dinner. I already ate, but said that I would keep him company.
We sat at our usually place and he got his usual meal from Taco Bell, which is the Gordita combo. We sat and talked about all kinds of things. I couldn't help but notice how cute he looks with his big hair that was a tad bit messed up. He has nice skin and nice hands. His lips are a tad bit thin, but he was a cute smile. It's hard to believe we spent something like 2 hours there. We were there long enough for me to grab a glimpse of the HOT security guard that I have a crush on. I'll tell you more about him when I actually have something to tell. Maybe he'll come to Burger King tonight.
Anyways, Tom and I left the mall around 10:15 to go to his place to play halo. It's totally frusterating playing with him because he's so good at it. Of course, the better I get at it, the better he gets. He's becoming a crack shot at using just a pistal. I've been mostly focussing on manuvoring around the playing area. Time slipped past again and it was 1:15am Before I knew it. I totally missed the current bus so I had to wait at a bus stop for 15 minutes. And it was damn cold out last night.
I slept in a bit this morning before finally rolling out of bed. I started to have doubts about this loan thing because the information states that it's for foreign and international Students. So I knew that I'd have to ask them about it before I waste anymore time filling out the application. Well, wouldn't you know it, I get to the office and it is only for international Students. So that pretty much screws me over. Now I've got to borrow the money from somebody, or several people.
The only good news I've gotten in the past 24 hours is the fact that I got a B in my sociology 2300 course. And I also got the chance to see the lovely Stu. He's a guy that works with Rod. He's totally my type, although he's a total schmooze; a heart breaker or one to pull something fast over you. I'd even go as far to say he's two-faced. But, he still has a killer frame and he is cute!
I've got a class in about an hour and I've still got to post to sell my french text book. So I'm going to end this one here.
(16/01/03) The Zambuca Incident! (Coming Soon!)
(20/01/03)I set my alarm this morning to wake up at 7am. The only reason why I was getting up that early was to take a shower. Why at that hour? Because the building was doing some sort of repairs on the water and it would be shut off between 8am-3pm. But when the time came to wake up, I didn't. I just figured I'd take a shower at Dragan's
So I got up 2 hours later and packed a few things and made my way over to his place. I didn't take a bus because I felt kind of gross so I walked all the way there. And to make things worse, I had to walk into the wind. It didn't take me long to walk there, but I ended up waking him up. And he was in a grumpy mood. I was supposed to have returned his skates yesterday like I said I was going to. And he also said that he saw me walking by with Marshall too! Oh well, I didn't stand around to explain myself. I just dropped off his skates and left.
That totally bummed me out, cause now where was I suppose to take a shower! I was also kind of mad that I wasted that much time walking there. I grabbed the next bus and went back to my place. I figured I'd put a pot of water on the stove and do my best that way. Except, when I got home, the water seemed to be working alright. It was just after 11:30am. So I grabbed a quick shower and headed off to go visit Tracey.
Tracey looks like she's coming down with something. I wanted to go out with lunch with her, but she said she wasn't going to go anywhere. Which kind of sucks because I wanted to give my coupons a try! The ones that I grabbed from my building's recycling box! Hehehe. Anyway that idea was scratched. I'm just going to go to my classes and try and hook up with Tom!
(21/01/03)I spent the evening with Tom last night. We stayed in and watched TV. I emailed him earlier in the day to see what he was doing later that evening. He said that he wanted to go skating, but I had returned the skates I had borrowed from Dragan earlier that day. So through several emails, he finally tells me to just come over to his place and hang out.
So I did, I must of gotten there around 7:30pm or so. We sat there talked about Matt, my loser roommate and his legal threat about taking me to court. I can't believe him, he's such a loser. Anyway, I don't want to talk about Matt, I want to talk about what Tom was wearing. He was wore slightly tighter fitting pants that showed off his thighs and ass off. I couldn't keep my eyes off of his crotch and thighs while he was sitting in his chair. Plus his hair was a bit messed up too, which really looks cute! I can't believe this guy. It's as though Tom is purposely trying to drive me insane.
Anyway, we sit and finish watching Seinfeld and then continue on with Friends. It was during that time we... and by that I mean 'I' decided what we were going to do. I told him that we'd go to Subway after Friends was over and then play Halo for an hour until Joe Millionaire came on. Of course, Tom being Tom made a cute remark about how our evening was all planned out.
Nothing spectacular happened, although I kept stealing glances of Tom as he was sitting or lying on his little couch. I asked him about flirting though. He didn't want to talk about it. He never wants to talk about anything in regards to sexuality. He even said that he thinks I have some sort of hidden agenda. But I just wanted to know. I asked him if anyone has ever flirted with him; if he knew if someone was flirting with him; and what he does about it. He just gave me some lame ass answer about it all. That yes, he knows when someone is flirting and he choses not to do anything about it. Maybe I should try and flirt with him, do you think he'd be able to tell the difference?
After Joe Millionaire was over I was curious as to what the Bachelors looked like from that new show The Bachelorette. And Tom sounded concerned, so I found the site and then I started to look at the pictures and I made one comment about the first guy. I don't think I like him or something, but I went on to the next one. The next guy was cute, but I didn't say anything. Tom noticed and asked me why I didn't say anything about it. I finally told him that I thought he was okay.
After checking out the not-so-good looking guys from The Bachelorette show, I told him that I thought Colby was HOT! Well, not in those exact words, but he asked me if that was the guy that I like. I meekly said yes. And that's pretty much it for my night. I left earlier than usual, around 10:30pm or so, and made it to bed by 11pm.
(22/01/03)Last night I went over to see my friend Jenny. Jenny is a girl that I meet while working at Burger King. She's really cool. I think what really got me attracted to her was the fact that she's a Janet fan too. Jenny goes to Carelton and is enrolled in a music program. She's a good singer, it's amazing how she uses her vocals. Jenny is a really small girl. By that, I mean she's skinny.
We agreed to meet at South Keys last night around 6pm. And then we'd go to her place from there. When we got to her place she cooked us dinner. Which I wasn't expecting, but it was really cool of her. We had chicken fingers and french fries. We also played this game she made in her elementary school years. It reminded me a lot of chicago rummy, but didn't exactly follow the same rules. Anyway, we played about 15 rounds of it and I ended up winning.
I left around 10pm and we pre-planned to visit Parliament on Friday. One of her friends, who is a guy, is coming to Ottawa to visit. And she invited me along with them to hang out. I'm thinking of asking Tom if he wants to join us.
In other news, I sent Rod this email about this dream I had about Stu. It's not a real dream... more like a fantasy about him. This is what I wrote:
"I was bussing at a restaurant... a nice one... kind of a fancy one. Anyways, I'm walking around the restaurant looking for some dirty plates or whatever... when I noticed some young guy entering the restaurant. The face looked familiar and it took me a second to realize it was Stu. He looked at me and smiled. My imediate reaction was to run back to the kitchen. I remember thinking in my dream... or at least feeling a bit ashamed that I was a bus boy and that I'd have to wait on him. So I make way to the back when some man stops me and tells me that I can't go into the kitchen... staff only. I was of coursed confused... and felt like I was up against a wall without any more options. So I decided to walk all the way around the restaurant to avoid Stu. So I started to walk along one wall where there were booths, and I notice my jacket. And then it donned on me that I was in the middle of eating my dinner. So I sat down and started to eat. Whatever it was... I know it had gravy that looked and smelt like the Penalty Box's gravy. Anyway, at the corner of my eye, I see a figure walking towards me and it's Stu. Stu was dressed in a dark suit... which by the way, I have to add, looked stunningly handsome on him. Anyways... he sits down and stares at me with this smile on his face. I didn't know what to do. Then he puts his hands on the table in front of me.... as if he was expecting me to hold them or something... and then he says... "Don't worry.... Rod told me you had a crush." I really felt stupid and wasn't prepared for that. I can't remember if I responded back to him on that or not... but the next thing I remember is that I reach up and feel his hair. I wanted to know if it was soft or prickly. His hair was cut short like in a brush cut. Anyways, that's about all I can remember. I don't know what happens next or how I left the restaurant."
Anyway, the reason I told Rod this was to see if he'd actually tell Stu. The truth is, Stu is cute and all, but I'm really more interested in Tom! I kind of want Rod to handle or hear me out on having a crush on a known straight guy. I want to see his reaction when and if he says anything about the subject. And when he does, I'll tell him the dream is really about Tom... and maybe, just maybe that will get the wheels in Rod's head turning and help me to find out if Tom really is gay or not.
On the other hand, it wouldn't hurt to see how Stu reacts to having another male having a crush on him. Even though it's really not true. Stu, from the outside, is totally my type. The perfect height, the perfect build, and he's cute in a boyish way. But just as a person... no.
Speaking of boys, There's this really cute guy in my political sociology class by the name of Bruce. He's about 6 feet tall, brown hair, brown eyes. Nice size body... kind of chubby, but not fat. He's also got that geeky look to him, but he's not a total geeky guy though. He has a really innocent cute smile. And! he's also sitting to my right... a few chairs down! How psyched am I? Anyways, I thought that I'd mention it. I also found out what his email address is. What do you think? Should I send him an email and let him know that I think he's cute? It would be totally anonymous and I'd only do it to see if he's gay. Should I? I could always keep you update on the issue! Find, I'll do it! Gosh you're noisy!
(26/01/03)I'm having total Tom withdrawals. I haven't seen Tom since last Monday! I was kind of busy doing other things and didn't bother to call him or visit him all week. Then I finally decided to hang out with him on Friday and he didn't answer his phone! I think... I think... I think I'm falling in love with him! I know, I know, it's not the smartest thing to do... to fall in love with a straight guy... but I can't help it! Tom is close to perfection!
Anyway, on to other news. I woke up a bit later than I was suppose to. I made plans with Rob and Marshall to have breakfast this morning at 10:30am. I woke up at 10am and called Marshall around 10:45am. Then I went over to his place and waited for Rob to show up. The funny thing is, he waited at Denny's for about an hour for us! We ended up eating breakfast at his restuarant on the corner of Elgin and Gladstone.
After that, we all took a trip to Ikea! I totally made out a wish list. I don't think I'm going to purchase a bed from there, but I am going to buy a quilt and some bedding to match. They also have this nice little arm chairs that I would like to buy. Of course there are a lot of odds and ends I'd like to get too. Like end tables, desk, a dresser, mirror and some art work. I'm totally exicted about moving in with Dragan. Hopefully I'll get a good job and be able to afford all this.
After that, Rob dropped me off at home and I rested for a bit. I was suppose to meet up with Kevin later that evening at his curling club. After a semi-nap, I left my place around 5:30pm and walked to the curling club. I meet up with some of his curling buddies. I must say though, this one guy was really cute. He's definitely older than I am, probably reaching his 40's, but he's totally cute! His name is Martin.
(29/01/03) Chicago! (Coming Soon!)
