Archer walked into the mess hall and looked around. Hoshi waved to him, signaling him to walk toward her.
�Hello,� he said. He smiled at her, as he took a seat.
�Good morning, Captain.� She smiled back, noticing he was shifting in his seat trying to get comfortable. She frowned. �You�re not nervous about this, are you?�
He winced. �Well, maybe a little.� He leaned toward her. �The last language I learned was Spanish.� He looked down and drew his lips together. �My teacher called me �No Intiende Archer.��
She giggled. �Well, you know other languages. So, you must not be that bad.�
He raised his eyebrows and shook his head. �I convinced my principals to let me take additional science classes instead of language courses.�
�But, I thought by junior high, they taught all children at least two languages?�
He put his hand on his neck and scratched, shaking his head slowly. �No.�
She pursed her lips. �Well, you know English.�
He nodded and smiled. �That I do know.�
She giggled again. �Well, that�s a good place to start.� She looked at him for a moment and frowned. �You didn�t bring a PADD as I suggested.�
�I didn�t think I�d need one for the first class.� He grinned and began to lean back in his chair.
�What do you mean you don�t need one for your first class?� she asked. She raised her voice and wagged her finger at him. �When I was teaching I insisted my students bring something to take notes with on the first day. The first day is where you learn the basics. The fundamentals.� She paused, further scolding him, �It�s where you learn the �A, B, C�s. Don�t you want to be prepared?�
He leaned back. �Don�t you think you�re taking this a little too seriously?� He shifted in his seat and grinned harder.
Hoshi put her hand on her head and blew out a deep breath. �Captain, you asked me to teach you Vulcan. I�m here. But I only want a serious student. Please go get a PADD and come back when you�re ready.�
�You�re serious?� he asked. She was staring at him.
�You�re serious,� he said. Archer cocked his head to the side and looked at her. His brows furrowed.
�I don�t have all day, sir,� she said.
He squinted his eyes, looked at her again to make sure she was serious, and got up and left.
Hoshi began to mumble to herself. �I should never have agreed to do this.� She took a sip of hot tea and mused about her new student. She wondered, �Why in the world would he want to learn Vulcan now?�
After about ten minutes, Archer walked back with a PADD and writing instrument, and sat down with Hoshi. �Okay, teacher. Ready.� He smiled.
She nodded. He was shifting in his chair again. She opened her mouth and he got up. �I just need a cup of coffee.� She snapped her mouth shut and scrunched her lips from one side to another, and motioned for him to continue.
He came back with a cup of coffee, sat down, shifted a bit and looked at her. He smiled.
�Are you done?� she asked.
�What do you mean?� he asked innocently.
�Need to go to the restroom or change chairs?�
He frowned at her again. �No.�
She smiled. �Good.� He shifted again, causing her to blow out a sudden burst of air.
He didn�t seem to notice. �Well, how do we proceed?� He took a sip of coffee, slurping slightly.
She smirked. �Now, the most important thing to know about this language is the volume in which you speak. Vulcans speak softly, mostly because they have excellent hearing.�
He nodded. �I can speak softly.�
Hoshi continued, �The trick is to speak softly, while ensuring you are clearly heard.� She paused, �Let�s practice this.� He took another slurp of coffee. �Repeat after me,� she said in a normal tone.
He nodded.
�Hello, how are you?� she said quietly and clearly.
�Hello, how are you?� he responded quietly, but not clearly.
She nodded. �Not bad. Are you using your diaphragm, Captain?�
He shrugged, �Am I supposed to?�
�Yes, like when you sing.� She paused. �You do sing, don�t you?�
�Every morning in the shower,� he grinned.
�Good. Listen to me again.� She waited for a second. �Hello, how are you?�
He nodded. �Hello, how are you?� he said more clearly, but not as quietly.
�Okay, one more time, sir. Hello, how are you?� She put her hand on his stomach.
He responded in kind, �Hello, how are you?� He began to snicker.
�What�s so funny?� She drew her hand back.
He shook his head, �I don�t know. I just feel silly.�
�Well, that last time was very good. Use that volume when you speak. You�ll have to concentrate.�
He stopped laughing and nodded. He sipped his coffee and shifted in his seat again.
She furrowed her eyebrows at him and sighed. �Another important thing to remember when speaking in Vulcan is the formality of the language. It�s important to not rush or talk over someone. There�s a certain amount of waiting for someone else to say something. However, their speech can be quite blunt.�
He nodded. He slurped his coffee. Just as he did, he saw T�Pol enter and cross the room to reach for a mug of tea, while studying a PADD. Archer turned his back and slumped in the chair.
Hoshi smiled. �Sub-commander.�
T�Pol walked over, as Archer put his hand in his hair. �Not my lucky day,� he thought.
�May I inquire what you are doing?� asked T�Pol.
Archer rubbed his hand over his chin and mouth. �You know, just sitting here talking with �.�
Hoshi interrupted, �Captain Archer has asked me to teach him Vulcan.�
He shot her a deadly glance and looked up at T�Pol who was looming over him.
T�Pol�s eyebrow shot up. �Is that so, Captain?�
He swallowed hard. �Well, I figured since I have a Vulcan first officer, and have to talk with Vulcan High Command occasionally, that it would be a good idea.� He seemed a little embarrassed, as he lied to impress her.
Hoshi pointed toward a chair and offered T�Pol a seat. �Perhaps you can help.�
Archer said suddenly, �You know, I should probably get to some reports �.�
T�Pol inclined her head. �As your first officer, I would be � happy to assist you.�
Archer shifted in his seat.
�Sub-commander, is there anything you would want Captain Archer to know about your language?�
She thought for a moment. �The tone of your voice is vital. Saying it in one tone, may mean something entirely different. I think this might be something you would need to focus on, Captain.�
He furrowed his eyebrows and snapped slightly, �I think I can get the right tone.�
She inclined her head. �Very well. Then repeat after me: nirsh.� She paused. �The word means �no.�� She paused and said it again with great calmness. �Nirsh.�
The sound was difficult for him to distinguish, but he decided to try. He mimicked, �Nursh.�
Hoshi looked aghast and T�Pol shot both eyebrows up.
Archer looked back and forth from each woman. �Was it that bad?�
Hoshi began to laugh. �Captain, you just managed call T�Pol something equivalent to a cur, and the tone you used indicated your strong dislike for her. The good news is � you weren�t screaming, but you were speaking loudly.�
He laughed. �This is much worse than Spanish class.� He glanced at T�Pol with a sheepish grin.
�Perhaps your first foray into speaking Vulcan was unsuccessful, but you should continue to practice.� She paused. �I would � enjoy � helping you continue you studies.�
Hoshi nodded. �Although you�re not a lost cause � and I mean this in the best way, sir � I doubt I have the patience for another lesson with you.�
Archer scratched the side of his head. �Nooorish,� he spoke more quietly. He looked at T�Pol, hoping this time it was right.
T�Pol looked him in the eye. �Thank you.�
Hoshi widened her eyes, looking back and forth from T�Pol to Archer. �Sir, you just said she was very sexy. Uhm, and you used a tone of voice that was suggestive.�
Archer let out a chortle and his face reddened. �It does seem I�ll need someone with patience to teach me.� He smiled at T�Pol.
�Lt. Reed to Captain Archer.�
Archer looked at the two girls and got up, �Saved by the bell.� He walked to the com. �Archer here.�
�Sir, we�re being hailed.�
�On my way.� Archer looked at T�Pol and Hoshi. He smirked. �Care to join me?� he asked motioning they come with him to the bridge.
Hoshi smiled and looked at T�Pol as they were walking out. �El capitan no itiende nada, T�Pol.�
T�Pol nodded. �Claro que si.�