| The U.S.S.S. Minnow |
| Episode 1- The Takeover |
| Klik grinned. She couldn�t help it, this was the best day of her life! After waiting for five years, the United Federation of Planets had finally assigned her to a ship. Apparantly the old captain had gone insane, leaving the space open. Klik had jumped on the opporotunity immediately. She had a feeling the heads of the Federation were hoping that she would also go insane, taking her out of the picture, but she didn�t care. She arrived in Deep Space Nine wearing a smile from ear to ear, and whistling a tune she vaguely remembered being on some television show from the early 20th century. People who didn�t know her smiled ay her obvious enthusiasm, then walked away, wondering exactly who that short red haired woman in the captain�s uniform had been. Those who did know her, averted their eyes and snuck away. With a small pack full of her very few belongings, she made her way to the dock her ship would be on. Captain Jamie E. Klik arrived on the observation deck expecting to see one of those shiny new starships they seemed to be handing out these days. Instead she came upon a clunker of an exploration ship that was virtually falling apart in the space dock. Printed in peeling letters on it�s light brown front was the name U.S.S.S. Minnow, confirming that it was, in fact, the ship she�d been assigned to. Did this sight bring her spirits down in any way? Did she even stop to ponder the fact that the name had an extra S attached to it? Heck no, this is Klik we�re talking about. Still grinning, she approached the docking staff and showed them her badge. They stared at her in wonder for a moment, as if wondering if the woman was already insane. Well, if she wasn�t now, she soon will be, they figured as one of them lead the way down the docking ramp into the ship. The two members of the docking staff gave each other a worried look as Klik had started whistling again, and was looking around her in a kind of awed way. One of them shook his head as the other opened the side hatch of the ship. With a small hiss of compressed air, they were in, and Klik�s eyes were nearly bugging out of her head as the air chamber�s second door opened. They stepped into the lukewarm air of deck 4. The inside was a lot nicer than the outside. Obviously the previous captain had decided to redecorate, and the inside of this ancient ship was nearly modern. Although by the look of some of the equipment, the illusion was only skin deep. The ship still ran under an old operating system. Still, the captain could barely hold her exitement in as they stepped into Turbo Lift 2 which would take them to the bridge. She thought her heart would simply burst out of her chest, it was beating so hard. When the turbolift had stopped, and Klik stepped onto the bridge, the two docking staff remained, and quickly pushed the button to take them off of the ship. Not thinking this odd in the slightest, Klik stepped confidently aboard, ready to survey her crew and give them some kind of motivational speech, even though their first mission was only to carry a supply of gel packs to one of the planets on the edge of the alpha quadrant. Instead, the first words out of her mouth as acting captain of the U.S.S.S Minnow were: �Where is everybody?� She looked to the two people on the deck, an irritated looking female Vulcan in a Commander�s uniform, and something that could only be described as a very dirty human being carrying a mop. �This is it.� The Vulcan replied darkly. Then, almost as an afterthought, she added. �I�m Commander Spek, your second in command, and this is the Minnow�s janitor, Mushytaku Poetty.� �Janitor?� Klik blinked. She�d never heard of a starship with an actual Janitor before. �Believe me, this ship needs her.� Spek grumbled. �And�you�re my crew?� Klik stated the obvious, finally feeling a small tug of foreboding tugging at her heart. �Yup.� The Janitor replied, picking something out of her ear. �Can I get back to cleaning the toilets, please?� Klik turned this new information over in her head. And if the two crew members of the Minnow had known her better, they would have been frightened of the smile that suddenly crept over her face. �Well, then!� Klik rubbed her hands together. �I think I�ve just thought of my first order.� The two of them eyed each other nervously. *** Captain Neci Terra of the cargoship The Ladybug floated slowly through space. Terra groaned as she watched the endless expanse of space streached out before her, thousands of unattainable stars twinkling far away. She was a failure as a captain of this rebel faction. Instead of taking her crew somewhere where they could hide out, she�d somehow gotten them all lost, and now they were nearly completely out of fuel, propelling themselves fitfully through space on fumes alone. �Hey�what�s that?� One of her crewmembers, a particularly confused individual by the name of Alec stared at the scanner readings in astonishment and horror. �Captain, I think there�s a federation starship out there but�this can�t be right�� �What does it say?� Terra tried to be patient. �Well, it�s such an old model�it shouldn�t even still be spaceworthy.� Alec replied, scratching his head. �Onscreen.� Alec pressed a button, and a small green dot appeared on the screen. Terra narrowed her eyes in an attempt to see it. �Magnify.� A ship suddenly appeared on the screen, and Alec had been right. It was an incredibly old model of ship, but it seemed to be manuvering through space with no trouble. The oddest thing about it, however, was the giant green sign plastered to the side of it, with an announcement on it in huge letters. The pilot, a woman who�s name Terra couldn�t readily remember, squinted at the letters. �Now hiring?� she read, then turned to her captain for some sort of explanation. To say that the crewmember was surprised to see a grin on her captain�s face would have been an understatement. �Captain?� Captain Terra chuckled to herself. �I think we�ve found someone who can help us. Hail the ship!� �But captain�that�s a federation ship�� Alec pointed out, only to receive a glare from the Captain. Terra may have been only half Klingon, but a glare from her could still turn your blood cold. �Aye, Aye�� Alec mumbled, hailing the ship. A reply came almost immediately, and the ship�s viewscreen suddenly lit up with the image of an almost out of date bridge of the starship in front of them. Standing in the center of the viewscreen stood a particularly short individual wearing the uniform of a federation captain. Everyone on the bridge of The Ladybug stiffened in nervousness, with the exception of Terra, who broke into an even wider grin. The grin was surpassed only by the one that suddenly appeared on the face of the other captain. �Terra!� The federation captain exclaimed happily. �Klik.� Terra grinned. �What the heck are you doing in that heap of a space ship?� �It�s not a heap.� Klik pouted. �It�s mine, and besides, you have no room to talk. Our scanners indicate that you have little or no fuel left.� Terra�s eyes narrowed. �Oh, shut up.� Klik grinned. �Just making an observation.� �Captain, might I remind you�� Spek started, but Klik held up a hand, successfully silencing her. �Yeah�well�your ship is so old, space slugs are faster.� Terra smiled smugly. �At least I�m moving, whereas�you appear to be stranded.� �No, the momentum is moving us along.� �Just keep telling yourself that.� �Shorty!� Terra retorted, resorting to childish name-calling. �Cranial ridges!� Klik responded, equally childish. �Yeah, well you wet the bed until you were 12!� Klik bristled. �Yeah, well, you ran around town naked!� �I was two!� �So?� �So?!� The rest of both crews watched this exchange nervously, unsure of what was happening to their captains. There was a long silence while the two of them glared at each other. Suddenly Klik broke into a smile. �Anyway, you look like you could use a lift.� �Yeah.� Terra agreed, smiling also. �Can I have one?� �Sure, come on aboard.� Klik turned to a stunned looking Spek. �Does this ship has transporters?� �Er�well, yes, but�� Spek began, but was once more silenced by Klik�s hand. �Well, then, go down there and transport those people aboard.� Spek was confused. �You want me to transport them to the brig, captain?� Klik looked at her strangely. �No, I want you to transport them onto the ship.� �But they�re criminals!� �No they aren�t.� �Yes, they are!� �No, they aren�t.� �Yes, they are!!� �Well, I�ll note it in my log that you think they�re criminals, now go transport them.� �But�� �Might I remind you that I�not you�am the captain?� Spek sighed, defeated. �Yes, captain.� * * * Klik regarded Terra on the other side of the conference room table. After much delegation (two minutes worth, mostly spent arguing), they had decided that Terra�s crew would join that of the Minnow. All that was left was assigning duties. �So, is there any particular job you would like?� Klik asked. The quarter Klingon looked thoughtful. �I think Chief Engineer�or interior decorator� She looked at the room�s interior. �Either way, you REALLY need one.� �And just what is that supposed to mean?!� Klik erupted. �It means you have a rustbucket of a ship.� Terra replied. �Aah!� Klik was insulted beyond words. �You�ll regret that!� �No, I won�t.� �Yes, you will.� �No, I won�t.� �Yes, you will.� �Yeah, well I can still trap you in a headlock any time I want!� Terra threatened. �Prove it!� Klik dared. Spek walked in seconds later to see Klik in the headlock of Terra, obviously in pain, but unwilling to surrender. �Say Uncle!� Terra yelled triumphantly. �Karr! Karr!� Klik yelled. �Not MY uncle, YOUR uncle!� �Fine, Bill!� �It�s too late for you, Muahahaha!� Terra laughed evily. �Uncle Bill! Uncle Karr!� Spek cleared her throat, trying to get her captain�s attention, as much as she wanted to just leave the klingon to kill this insane captain. Klik noticed Spek and pleaded. �Help! This mad klingon is trying to kill me! Help!� Spek sighed. �Allright, you two, break it up.� Terra glared at the Vulcan. �Stay out of family business.� She stated, proceeding to give the already defeated Klik a noogie. �Noooo!� Klik cried. �Not that, anything but that!� Spek eyed the two of them. �So you�re related�that explains a lot.� Suddenly, as soon as it had started, the insane brawl was over. The two of them were standing before Spek, perfectly calm, if not a little ruffled, as if nothing had happened.� �So, what brings you here, Spek?� Klik asked conversationally. Spek twitched. �There is a message for you on the bridge from Starfleet. They don�t sound happy.� Klik sighed in resignation. Reaching over to a console, she pushed a button. A stuffy looking individual in an admiral�s uniform appeared, looking less than pleased. �You wanted me, sir?� Klik asked, although she looked less than pleased herself. �Klik! What is this I hear about you inviting Rebels onto your ship?!� The admiral bellowed, his face turning red. �Hey! Who told you that?� Klik responded reflexively, then stopped. �Wait�there are rebels on the ship?� She turned and looked accusingly at Terra. Terra was looking nervous. �Er�I might have omitted that small detail�� �Terra!� Klik glared at her. �Hello, admiral on long distance here.� The admiral spoke up, obviously annoyed at being interrupted. Klik turned back to the screen. �Ah, sir, what would you like me to do with them? Honestly, I didn�t know they were rebels, I was just helping out a cousin�� If possible, the admiral turned even redder. �I order you to return to the station and bring those�people with you, so they can be properly detained! Do I make myself clear?!� �Yes, sir.� Klik said, then turned to look at her cousin seriously. �Um�sorry?� Terra said sheepishly. �I didn�t mean for you to get into trouble. Klik didn�t say anything for a long time, leaving the uncomfortable silence unbroken. Finally she looked up at Terra. �It occurs to me,� She began slowly. �That the only federation officers on this ship are myself, commander Spek, and a janitor by the name of Poetty.� She began pacing as she talked. �It also occurs to me that a force of such a size could not possibly hold back your crew of 62 rebel forces with undetermined backgrounds. Therefore, one could not be blamed if said forces were to take control of the ship and find a way out of the situation, could they?� A small smile began appearing on Terra�s face. �No, I suppose they couldn�t.� A bleep on the console beside Klik told her that another message was coming through. Calmly, she pushed the button and the admiral showed up once more. �Klik!� He demanded immediately. �Why havn�t you moved from your position?� �Well, sir, you see�� Klik began, but was shoved aside to make room for Terra. �We�ve taken over the ship!� Terra announced triumphantly. �And we�re not going back to Starfleet!� �Klik, what is the meaning of this?!� the admiral roared. �Sorry, sir, there was nothing I could do. They have us outnumbered, you know�3 to 62. Plus they�re violent.� Klik shrugged. The admiral didn�t say anymore, but merely glared suspiciously at Klik and ended the transmission. The Takeover had begun! |