-
If the other surfers in the lineup prayed for liberation from the
chaos of this surfer girl gone wild, the gods seemed to respond with
increasing swell and current, not to mention a forcefully
intimidating shore break.
- Points were awarded based on the size of the wave as well as the length of the ride with bonus points awarded for humor. Sounds easy enough, right? I assure you that cascading six foot walls of water was no easy matter. After the set passed it was an all out scramble to swim to the lineup, get in the best position, and then, "bombs away!"
- With a good portion of the Pacific Ocean tucked safely away in the sinuses of the best women surfers in the world, it seemed time to give the lineup a break and engage in a friendly game of Dodgeball. Did I say friendly? Not with this group! By this point in the day, the demon had a firm grip on the puppet strings. Every "out" was contested with vigor. The judges were assaulted for every call, and complete denial of the reality of a loss was widespread.
- At this point, I need to apologize again. Once I finally made it outside to the lineup, I was not about to choose a mediocre wave. After all that effort, I wanted nothing less than the biggest wave that came through. With total disregard for the multitude of surfers waiting patiently for the next set, I paddled to the top of the peak and positioned myself directly between the surfers just outside of where the average sized waves were breaking, so that the first big one that came in would have no choice but to pick me up and rocket me toward victory. I am sure I ruined at least one surfer's day, and for that I am truly sorry. At that point I had no control at all. I were simply holding while losing myself to waves of hysterical laughter.
- Putting an exclamation point at the end of quite possibly the most entertaining day I have ever spent on the North Shore!
- Points were awarded based on the size of the wave as well as the length of the ride with bonus points awarded for humor. Sounds easy enough, right? I assure you that cascading six foot walls of water was no easy matter. After the set passed it was an all out scramble to swim to the lineup, get in the best position, and then, "bombs away!"
(Saturday; April 1, 2000)
First, I'd like to extend a wholehearted apology
on behalf of the entire group of professional surfers to anyone who
was injured, annoyed, or simply bewildered by the reckless
dysfunctional wave riding that occurred. You see it just wasn't my
fault. The only explanation I can offer is that I was possessed by a
competitive demon that would lead me to perform dizzying oceanic
feats and fiery sand-based battles in a division leading to the
awarding of the cherished Golden Paddle and a year's worth of
bragging rights.
