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The Monroe Doctrine

I am sick and tired (“The worst beating I ever got was when my mom said ‘I am sick’ and I said ‘and tired.’ I don’t remember anything else that day.” – gratuitous Cosby reference) of Roger Clemens and his ilk.

For at least the second year in a row he has kept baseball and at least three teams on edge with “Will I or Won’t I” retire. He is asked about it after each season and he says he won’t make a decision until late spring of the following year, allowing the spotlight to shine on him while he is doing nothing.

by Rich Bentel

He decided that he wants to sporadically play baseball this year for the Yankees. It’s not enough to make that decision, but he has to take the microphone and announce it during the seventh inning stretch from Boy George’s suite. Roger’s ego is officially larger than his ass, which is appropriate because that’s what he’s acting like. After negotiating with the Yankees to not only get more money for doing less work (did Roger have dinner with Pat Hughes the night before the announcement?) but also be able to disappear for family time whenever he wants, he couldn’t hold a press conference after the game. No, he had to make the announcement during the game. I’m sure Steinbrenner had something to do with it, but instead of trying to fit in with the team, Roger had to take the focus off of the field and put it on himself.

Now I’m sure Yankee Stadium was electric when he announced his intentions and the place went up for grabs, but I’m sick of the athletes that have to have the glow of the fans adoration and the TV lights in their eyes and do anything to get it.

Clemens and Brett Favre are two that come to mind that can’t seem to make a decision without having people chase them for months. You may feel more strongly against Favre (he is a Packer after all) since he was holding one team hostage from making important personnel moves until Green Bay knew of Brett’s intentions, but the big picture is the same. These self-righteous guys are deciding that they are more important than the team.

Clemens started this whole thing when he actually MADE a decision to retire. Remember, he left the field during the playoffs against the Red Sox? Everyone rose and applauded a phenomenal (steroid filled?) career. The Red Sox even applauded when he was taken out of the game. The Yankees gave him a Longhorn burnt orange Hummer. Then during the following baseball season he decides that he wants to come back as an Astro.

He joined the likes of Michael Jordan, any professional boxer and Bobby Howry in deciding to retire and not making it stick. (Actually Howry’s problem was that he couldn’t retire any of the Phillies batters).

One argument that I’ve heard from the talking heads that like to play Devil’s Advocate (an interesting position during a discussion, but a lousy movie) is that Clemens (and Favre, et. al.) have earned the right to handle things this way.

The truly classy athlete (or individual for that matter) may have earned the right, but they would never exercise it.

De Aza (.12)-o-Meter

OBP:	.314
TB:	15
RS:	4
RBI:	3
SB:	1

Earl Cole outlasted, outwitted and outplayed his competitors on Survivor to win a cool 8,333,333.33 De Azas.

In 2008, the teams that finished in 5^th-12^th place in 2007 will receive a budget of up to .06 to use toward reacquiring players who had played out their option with the team (B-contract players). The exact amount each team receives will be based on how far behind the 5^th place team they are at the end of the year, in terms of a percentage of the 5^th place team's point total.