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1999 marked the CFCL's 15th Anniversary |  |
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1999 marked the CFCL's 15th Anniversary | |
The 1999 CFCL Draft was held on Saturday, April 3 in the living room of Rich
Bentel's palatial home in remote Aurora. �We started at 9:30, confident
that the new time-saving measures we had put in place would keep Draft
Day to a reasonable length. �Also for this season, Kelly Barone and David
Holian had taken over the gavel of the Kangaroo Court (see below).
| Following an fairly uneventful election in which David Mahlan, Rich Bentel, and David Holian were elected to the 1999 Executive Committee, Co-Commissioner Mahlan took a few moments to talk about the significance of the 1999 CFCL season.� To commemorate the 15th Anniversary of the CFCL, Co-Commissioners Bentel and Mahlan designed and financed souvenir hats for all the owners. |  |
David Mahlan then presented Rich Bentel with a gift in recognition of their 15 years together as Founders and Co-Commissioners of the CFCL and lifetime together as friends.� It was a photograph of the Wrigley Field marquee that proclaimed "CFCL -- Hey Hey for 15 Great Years!" (see above).
With the
formalities out of the way, the Draft was set to begin.� As always, David
Holian kicked things off by nominating
the first player.
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Starting from the lower left corner: �Paul
Zeledon (Da Paul Meisters), Steve Donaldson (Steve's Slackers), Ken Welsch
(not visible, FlatFeet), Matt Bentel (DoorMatts), Rich Bentel (Dem Rebels,
Co-Commissioner).
On the right side of the table, from the back: David Mahlan (David's Copperfields, Co-Commissioner), David Holian (David's Ruffins), Kelly Barone (Six Packs), Dave Goetz (ForGoetz Me Nots), Eric Lamb (Lambchops). |
Digital Distractions
For some reason, whether it be in paper or digital format, the Draft materials
that Copperfield owner David Mahlan brings to the Draft are always a big topic
of conversation.� They never fail to produce comments that range from bemusement to derision.� 1999 was no different.� After
bringing hard-copy paper lists to the Draft for the past couple years, the
Copperfield front office went digital once again and brought a laptop to the
Draft. As Mahlan stared into the computer screen while
contemplating a bid, Kelly Barone was quick to speculate
about what Mahlan was really up to.�
Dr. Holian's Diagnosis
The health conditions of players being bid upon is always of the utmost
importance, of course.� The last thing an owner wants to do is invest in a
player who will spend significant time on the disabled list.� As the
bidding progressed on Marquis Grissom, Ruffin owner Dave Holian was moved to
make a Gump-like comment on an ailment
that had caused Grissom to miss some time in spring training.
Caught
Napping
The CFCL Draft is always a grueling marathon, requiring super-human endurance
and a consistent focus beyond the realm of normal human ability.� It's no
surprise, then, that CFCL owners take whatever chances they can to recharge the
batteries during the Draft.� However, in 15 previous years of drafting we'd
never actually had an owner doze off at the drafting table.� Until
now.��
Bidding had just finished on a player, and ForGoetz Me Nots owner Dave Goetz recorded the acquisition of the player on his draft sheet and apparently closed his eyes for a moment before bidding was to begin again.� Meanwhile, Co-Commissioner Mahlan started passing the Draft Day Poker card for the player just acquired toward Paul Zeledon at the other end of the table.� The card reached Six Pack owner Kelly Barone, who sat to Dave Goetz's right.� Without looking, Barone held out the card in Goetz's direction, and when Goetz didn't take it from him after a couple seconds, he turned to find Goetz apparently asleep at the table.
Kelly called out Goetz's name, and Dave jumped slightly, nonchalantly grabbed the card, and passed it on down the table.� His quick recovery wasn't going to prevent Kelly from commenting on Goetz's little cat-nap, though. This one netted Dave a healthy fine in the Kangaroo Court.
Well, Ok, Maybe a Yugo Then...
In real life, Six Packs owner Kelly Barone works for a bank.� It's
understood they don't let him anywhere near the money though.� The reason
for this was made apparent when Barone couldn't even keep his own finances
straight at the Draft, miscalculating the amount he had left to spend on
players.� When his error was pointed out to him, Kelly expressed
amazement that his wife trusts him with the financial matters at
home.��
Stream of Consciousness
Late in the Draft, when fatigue sets in and things are moving
quickly,�it's difficult to keep your thoughts straight.� Six Pack
owner Kelly Barone's solution to this was to do his thinking out loud.� All
of it.� Finally, the owner sitting next to Kelly, David Holian, was compelled
to comment. ��
Strong-Arm Six Packs
Every CFCL owner has experienced the frustration at the end of the draft -- 3
players left to draft and .04 left to spend.� Time and time again, you
nominate a player, hoping to fill a spot on your roster, only to have a fellow
owner raise the bid to .02, shutting you out on yet another player.� If
this happens enough, even the most level-headed owner can become passionately
obsessed with the most pedestrian players.��
Six Pack owner Kelly Barone had a unique approach, closing off his opening bid on Desi Relaford with a threat that shook his fellow owners into submission.�
Draft Summary
| First Player Purchased | Barry Bonds� DoorMatts � .49 |
| Highest-Priced Batter | Vinnie Castilla� FlatFeet � .50 |
| Highest-Priced Pitcher | Robb Nen� Six Packs � .45 |
| First "Penny Player" | Eddie Perez � ForGoetz Me Nots � 7th round |
| Last Player Purchased | Jeremi Gonzalez� Dem Rebels � .01 |
| First Minor League Pick | Pat Burrell � Eric's Lambchops � .15 � 1st round Rotation Draft |
Kangaroo Court Draft
Report
Prior to this year' Draft, the Executive Committee revamped the Kangaroo
Court and put in place a pair of "Captains Courageous" to be responsible
for dispensing fines during the Draft and throughout the year. �Co-Captains
Kelly Barone and David Holian tracked infractions during the Draft (at least
Kelly did -- see the list of infractions against the Ruffins below).
�Following is the Official Report from the Kangaroo Court:
From the Office of Captain Courageous Kelly
Barone:
Below is the official tally of Kangaroo Court fines for Draft Day, with specific
infractions noted. There are a few common infractions that will be referenced
as follows:
Card (Not flipping your card to the "in" position
well into a new round of bidding.)
Bid (Not knowing it was your turn to bid, or not
knowing who was being bid on, to the point where the flow of the draft was
ground to halt.)
BPO (Bidding on player already
owned.)
? (Asking a question that shows you've lost touch with the rest of
us, or asking a question that does not need to be asked [see the Meisters'
list].)
Each infraction is worth .25, with some
.50 fines for those that did something very
extraordinary.
| Door Matts | $0.00 | Well, okay, the "nobody's perfect" theory is out the window. |
| Flatfeet | $0.25 | Bid |
| Lambchops | $0.50 | BPO Bid |
| Copperfields | $0.75 | Forgetting to pass out poker cards at the beginning of the draft. Bid (twice) |
| Ruffins | $0.75 | Bid Lack of interest in the fining others. Co-Captain, ha! Gratuitous Profanity (self-assessed) |
| ForGoetz Me Nots | $1.25 | Falling asleep (double fine). We all make jokes
about the draft becoming coma-inducing, but I never thought someone would
actually go out. Dave wins the "Most Relaxed Owner" award. BPO (twice) Card |
| Six Packs | $1.50 | BPO (double fine for Greg Maddux) The Co-Captain
had plenty of other embarrassing errors on his draft sheet that luckily didn't
come to light. Of course, somehow, it was my wife's fault. Off-color joke (double fine, self-assessed) Bid Card |
| Dem Rebels | $1.75 | Living someplace where you can't get lunch delivered (double fine).
Sorry Rich, this is something I feel passionate
about. Telling Kelly he can't bid on a player due to position eligibility when he could (twice). Delaying the proceedings for a personal bathroom break. BPO (twice) |
| Slackers | $2.00 | League Fees paid at draft instead of mailed (double fine). BPO Card (three times) ? |
| Da Paul Meisters | $3.25 | Special Note: My friend, Rich was not picking on
you all these years. You really hustled for these. ? (seven times!!) Paul, a bit of advice. Say, hypothetically, someone gets Eric Karros, and their 1B and Out slots are filled. Safely assume he'll go into the Utility spot, or the Swing spot if Utility is taken also. Deductive reasoning is encouraged. Not bringing your own beverages Telling Ken he couldn't bid on a player when he could. Bid (twice) Card BPO |