Despite swearing (after the debacle of 1993) that they would never again draft at night, the CFCL found themselves facing a scheduling dilemma that could only be resolved by drafting on a Friday evening. So, against everyone's better judgment, the 1996 CFCL Draft was held on Friday, March 29 at 6:30 PM at David Mahlan's apartment.
During the off-season, Tom Clark had decided to withdraw his team, Clark's Kents, from the league. The franchise was taken over by Ken Welsch, who had subbed for ForGoetz Me Nots owner Dave Goetz for part of the 1995 Draft. As a police officer, Ken decided to christen his new team Welsch's FlatFeet.
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Clockwise, from the lower left: Eric Lamb (Eric's Lambchops), Ken Welsch (Welsch's FlatFeet), Kelly Barone (Six Packs), David Mahlan (David's Copperfields, Co-Commissioner), David Holian (David's Ruffins), Rich Bentel (Dem Rebels, Co-Commissioner), Matt Bentel (DoorMatts), Paul Zeledon (Da Paul Meisters). Just outside the frame on the right: Dave Goetz (ForGoetz Me Nots). |
The Ray Lankford Incident, or "Holian
wiffs!"
The evening started innocuously enough, with Eric Lamb, Rich Bentel, and
David Mahlan all being re-elected to the Executive Committee (with Eric receiving
his customary competition from Kelly Barone). Overall, the 1996 Draft
was much more subdued than the typical CFCL Draft, probably because of the
late starting time and the fact that most of the owners had worked all day.
David Holian, who by tradition nominates the first player at each Draft, had spent the afternoon driving to Chicago from Bloomington, Indiana, but that's no excuse for his shocking nomination to start the Draft. To say that this got us off on the wrong foot is an understatement at best. Once Dave finally nominated an eligible player, the bid passed clockwise around the table. Rich Bentel, immediately next to Dave, upped the bid by a penny, raising it to .11. Matt Bentel, owner of the DoorMatts was up next, but because of all the confusion, Matt apparently thought the bidding was going counter-clockwise. A long silence ensued, which was finally ended when Rich prodded Matt into action.
This was by far the rockiest start we've ever gotten off to, and it left many of us remembering better days and looking forward to the start of next year's Draft.
David Mahlan, Pong Addict?
For the second year in a row, Copperfield owner David Mahlan brought a laptop
computer to the Draft. As in 1995, this provoked much comment and derision
from the other owners in the league. At one point, after Eric Lamb,
owner of the Lambchops, remarked that Mahlan was "hypnotized by the computer
screen," Six Pack owner Kelly Barone speculated about what
Mahlan was really doing with the laptop.
MTV Invades the CFCL
The fact that the 1996 Draft lacked the verve and spark of previous years
was not lost on any of us, not even new owner Ken Welsch. During a
break in the proceedings, Ken took it upon himself to liven things up a bit.
He leapt in front of the video camera, pretzel rod clenched jauntily
between his teeth. He then yanked up his shirt sleeve to reveal
a tattoo and, in his best Popeye-type voice, broke into song, exhorting
us all to "do the bad boy dance." It was a moment none of us will ever
forget. Lord knows we've tried...
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FlatFeet owner and CFCL rookie Ken Welsch gives the CFCL our very first (and most assuredly our last) music video with his impromptu performance of "Do The Bad Boy Dance." |
Ken was at a loss to explain exactly what the "bad boy dance" was, leaving his fellow owners to speculate that it "must be some cop thing."
The Enforcer
Ken's first draft as full-fledged owner wasn't all fun and games, though.
The bidding was proceeding nicely on a player and when the bidding
reached Meister owner Paul Zeledon, he raised the bid to .36. Though
it wasn't Ken's turn to bid, Ken anticipated that he wouldn't remain in the
bidding and flipped his bidding card to indicate that he was "out". Perhaps
it was the intensity of the bidding that cause Paul to growl, "Wait your
turn, boy," but whatever the reason, Dave Goetz quickly dubbed Paul The Enforcer.
The audacity of Paul's extreme reaction
at first shocked the other owners, who quickly broke into laughter at the
thought of Paul taking on Ken, a body-building cop who's twice Paul's size.
Draft Summary
| First Player Purchased | Brian Jordan Eric's Lambchops .36 |
| Highest-Priced Batter | Sammy Sosa David's Copperfields .48 |
| Highest-Priced Pitcher | Robb Nen Six Packs .34 |
| First "Penny Player" | Jason Bates DoorMatts 4th round |
| Last Player Purchased | Edgardo Alfonzo David's Copperfields .01 |
| First Minor League Pick | Andruw Jones David's Ruffins .05 7th round Rotation Draft |