Hi,
I post this question to get your opinion about one of my friends writing skill. His askme.com username must be "cetinsert". The thing I really wonder is how good he writes. I yesterday found a copy of his writings when he was out of the class(I searched his notebook). He didn't notice the paper's absence. Anyway, at home I wrote the poem into a computer file as mistakeless as possible and now am sending it here. He is a bit cold towards me though but indeed so cute... I just want to learn what these poem means and whether it is some good or not. (really important !!)
.Presence of Past.
I.
Along with others', my dashed line
doth me 'mind of all what is mine.
It, before my eyes, thy wall upraise,
nought of mine I see, folded by thine.
II.
Thou, in my dreams art so close to me,
but not wherein loves of Love's denote.
From the cold I will blow heat to thee,
to call thee mine and mine of ours both.
III.
To timelessly taste the fruits,
one has to have seeded a tree.
For my future if a dream suits,
I shall be dreaming more of thee.
IV.
Not from thy white..., I expose pale,
methinks, for I be not in my own tale.
Might my name with thine be known,
as mine soul upholds its own renown.
V.
Spring's tears nightly dew mine at last;
Withered greens, over which O passed,
Shall be rebound to life's veins anew,
Thy memories, shall present my past.
[Notice: This too was written in that paper I took out of his notebook]
.One's Parts Lost, in One's Whole.
The winds blow fear into the lonely hearts,
And broken I find my whole, into parts,
Though, I challenge my self at any cost,
I still find my parts in my whole lost...
Looking forward to reading your answers,
Buse (his classmate(age 16, girl))
First going through someone elses notebook and taking papers that do not belong to you is wrong. Posting those papers/poems here on this public board without his permission or knowledge is even worse. Poetry is a personal thing. This is a very good piece of work but that is not the point. You must give back these papers and say you're sorry. And hope he forgives you. I will not comment about the piece unless he posts his work and asks for comments on his own behalf. I'm sorry to be so harsh but you made a mistake.
I just wanted to learn what he did by writing all these. He is kinda good at class, though a bit too shy talking to me. I have sent his papers by mail with an apology card attached. Haven't got his response yet. I hope he won't be mad at me. Still I want you to let me learn more about this poem. Tell me what you think he may have tried to express, or the theme of the poem. One more thing, his use of English. I wonder whether he is lying saying he has never studied abroad, his English and German are far better than anyone else's in our class. I want to learn what behind his great marks may lie... please help me.
With Apologies,
Buse
I'm sorry he doesn't talk to you. I'm glad you returned his papers. If you wish to learn about poetry there are many ways to do so. Books in the local library, searching the internet, taking classes, reading. As far as his use of English and German maybe he is just a good student. It is not fair to talk about him behind his back and it is not fair for me to comment about his work. This piece may not even be finished? Try writing one of your own poems and posting here on this board, see what feedback you get for your own work, not someone elses.