Dear Expert, This poem was written on a day Iīd expected my teacher to come for a lesson. She didnīt come and I thought of what Iīd done throughout the day and wrote each thing of some importance here. The waiting became almost unbearable as it got darker and the feel, therefore, flowed from one side to another, from hopefulness to a hopelessness. Any change in the punctuation of the poem and/or any single suggestion would be of great assistance. Please take your time answering and include some answers to the questions I wonder so much; -Which parts of the poem did you like the most ? -Where does it success and fail ? -Is the flow good enough to keep oneīs feelings awaken ? -Which one would you say of this, "A good use of words" or "Just a prose but nothing" ? Yours Sincerely, ( 16, m, Turkey ) Cetin Sert A day so lonesome To a night full of fear Itīs 8 Iīve just woken up Through my window Out to a heavenly sky I want to look at With a piece of hope Itīs 9 Been writing and re-reading What a nice day I hope it to be With the bird accompanying The song I sing called "oh dear" I feel like, much like home today Itīs 10 In the balcony of my home Gazing into the mistiness At the road you will walk I still feel excited for that; You will soon come here Itīs 11 For I understood I couldnīt Help waiting, getting bored I now choose to get some sleep Then will I wake and be for it up DREAM Is it one more thing that I now see That will fade away leaving me In curiousity amid many answers Making me wonder if Iīll ever be; One noticed for his wisdom & love For being so kind as to be beloved Strolling on the grass of 7th heavens Closer and yet more to a garden full Of wonders and tenderness & purity A flower I see blossoming beauty Frightening the fear, loving the lovers Cursing the cursed and ingesting me Using me up & seemingly to never Let me out of itself to see the marvels Being so slowly created by no divinity By the power only a love may upraise In dreams you have to accept it as is Whatever you do everything is yours Excitement, wishes but as well the fear Now mine is coming my way confidently A vibration is being felt by all of us now Beings of good have all disappeared To withstand the evilīs ill existence I must have been chosen not being asked Skies are turning gray as never seen Thunders beginning to rule everywhere Raindrops are now washing with hate Iīd have no time to regret if I escape ! Casting a prayer is complete non-sense With no one to hear my voice through The good is now stilled absolutely mute The bad famished for some more blood Ear-tearing voice of the evil echoes behind, The one being heard, sounding to be nice; One says "to get you Iīve come" as the other Claims "no, just to show you the way to go !" If only I had someone to back me up Then it would be a matter of seconds To withdraw the sword of godīs justice And point it, in faith, at this one weakling Proclaim the absolute rule of all the good Here it still approaches bearing witness To my miserity, to cowardice of mine The face seems to be of innocence Yet, it is to know what lies inside Cloaking under the mask of beauty Hatred is yet the same hatred ! And the purpose, the same purpose Kneeling down in front of it I whisper Confessing the sad downfall of all good "Let me be off, do not, not enslave me" "A life awaits, wonders to discover, Yet to have laughters, achievements Yet to see places, people and miracles Yet to say words, "hi"īs and "goodbyes" With that thing Iīd experienced before That very fear of deathīs diverse being, I now beg my own angel of death to... Pass-by and to simply forget about me As one yet never been in love I donīt ! "No I donīt, I donīt... please, let me be" Itīs 14:30 I jumped out of the bed in fear After having washed my face Even colder it feels now... Iīm trembling in the know of The longest night alone, somber That I will have it, not knowing Neither what to do nor to wish Maybe itīs to embrace someone Tightly, firmly, to never let go Maybe I then will feel a bit safer. Itīs 15 Just hung up the telephone Just learned youīd not come In despair, wiping that one Pearly tear off my face now I realize, to beautify a day I had nothing but a lesson Given by you so very heartily Itīs 23 Time to enter the darkness Of night and fears again, And that is so unfortunate I will soon have to be facing My very self, quaint being. I doubt that Iīll see a dream With you adorning my night. "Once of fears and the dark" I doubt whether Iīll say that Of the dreams I see, nights I have "A day so lonesome" it has been Again the same things admitted, Again the same emotions felt. Tomorrow I just want to meet, Talk to you for long, as it gets... -End of poem- Đ 2000 The Nomad Soul