A VIEW FROM THE CHEAP SEATS
By Rich Trzupek
Gambling With the Future
Gambling just ain�t what it used to be. We can add this to the long list of activities that have been ruined by government.
Way back when, gambling was illegal, except for Vegas of course. But even then, it was just barely legal. One still was rewarded with the tingle of doing something bad when one laid down their chips at a Vegas casino; back in the day. It was a lot like watching Jerry Springer � a guilty pleasure that you could only admit to a select few.
Not any more, by legitimizing gambling, we have taken all of the fun out of it. It�s been transformed from frivolity to a given obsession.
Is there anything as annoying as trying to pay for a cup of coffee at the local convenience store while a terminal player sorts through dozens of rub-off tickets? For God�s sake what difference does it make?
�Triple-Sevens,� or �Hog Wild,� or �Belch for Millions��it doesn�t actually matter. These games were designed for you to lose people.
Yet, they�ll stand there, scratch-scratch-scratch and, should one of the tickets yield a winner, immediately dump the profits back into more tickets. Which requires yet another study of the options available. One can blow the better part of a day waiting for people to finally admit defeat.
It would not be as annoying were it not for the fact that the players inevitably appear to be those who can least afford the exercise. When an elderly woman in slippers and an ill-fitting housecoat searches through her purse to find the quarter she needs to complete the transaction, you have to wonder what the hell we�re doing.
It�s especially bad, or sad, when the prize for Powerball, or Mega-Millions, or whatever the heck it�s called, reaches into the hundreds of millions. People lose their minds entirely, waiting in long lines to purchase tickets as if somebody will actually win that money.
I don�t believe it. Powerball winners are surely out of work actors. Does anyone actually know a person who has won $300 million?
Now I�ve go nothing against gambling, per se, mind you. As we used to define it, gambling was primarily a guilty pleasure reserved for those who could afford the stakes. If you had enough cash, you went to Vegas and were duly exploited by the mob. If you were of smaller means, you were pretty much restricted to the office pool or the side bet with your buddies.
Legalizing the institution has had the same effect of openly talking about sex�it takes all of the fun out of it. Moreover, by eliminating the boundaries, obsession is free to run wild.
If we must make gambling legal, let�s at least bring some of the old-time excitement back. Instead of wagering something as mundane as money and letting players slowly bleed to death, let�s go for broke.
Give players the opportunity to wager their credit card debt against a portion of what the state owes to its pension fund, for example. Wouldn�t that be more exciting? At least it would be infinitely more honest.
Granted, legalized gambling has done a great deal of good. You don�t have to look any farther than a revitalized Elgin to understand that is so. But, as in all things, moderation is the key.
At some point gambling transforms government into Uncle Sammy �The Big Tuna.� We may have surpassed that point already. At the very least, we�re riding the line.
It�s time to �just say no� to more legal gambling in Illinois. If residents desperately need to wager more of their earnings, let them go to Nevada, where we know that they know what they�re getting into.
In the meantime, perhaps Illinois can figure out something a little better to solve its fiscal woes than betting on the misery and gullibility of its residents.
