A VIEW FROM THE CHEAP SEATS
By Rich Trzupek
New Design
�Excuse me Munificent One.�
�What is it? Can�t you see that I�m watching �Dancing with the Stars.� Can�t it wait?�
�Of course it can Your All-Powerfullness, but isn�t this kind of pointless? I mean, being All-Seeing and All-Knowing, you already know who the winner is�right?
�Quite. But I do enjoy watching my creations hoofin� it. Most entertaining. Can you believe they picked Emmett over Mario?�
�Doesn�t seem fair.�
�No�no, it doesn�t. But it�s up to them to establish justice on earth. I believe I said that at some point.�
�I believe you did Sir.�
�Well, that�s enough of that. So tell me, what brings you here Gabriel?�
�Ummm�it�s Michael actually Oh Merciful One. See�no trumpet.�
�Right, right�Michael. To quote my creations: whazzup?�
�Well Sir, I believe there is a situation within Your Creation that many deserve a bit of Your Attention. It�s this �Intelligent Design� vs. �Evolution� debate that they are having on Earth.�
�Ah yes. I am familiar with that, although I must confess that it confuses Me. Did I not give them dominion over all the earth, to establish justice and discover Me through the wonders of My Creation?�
�Indeed you did Sir. That has been recorded as well.�
�So what�s the problem. Let them figure it out.�
�Well, to be honest Your Supreme Beingness, that�s the problem�they don�t want to figure it out. Or at least a portion of them don�t want to.�
�Explain Gabriel.�
�Michael.�
�Whatever.�
�It�s like this Sir: Some of them believe that considering any school of thought other than evolution amounts to abandoning science for superstition.�
�Oh really? You know that I have a tremendous amount of respect for science. Ultimately, it brings them closer to Me�and who wouldn�t want to hang with Me? So are you telling Me that they have concluded that science proves that evolution is correct?�
�Is evolution correct Sir?�
�Now that would be telling. I don�t operate that way, remember?�
�Right. Got it. Well it�s like this. A fair number of them will admit that the evolution theory has a lot of holes, but they are not willing to explore any other means of figuring out creation. And it absolutely drives them nuts to consider intelligent design. They call it �creationism,� as a matter of fact.�
�Oh for the love of Me. As smart as they can be, they can be so incredibly stupid. Creationism says that I pretty much plopped every creature on earth �as is,� right?�
�That�s about it Sir.�
�As if I couldn�t be more subtle than that. Whatever. Intelligent design, on the other hand, says that I planned a sort of evolution�that they evolved, but I maintained a role in it, because certain changes would not happen without My Guiding Hand.�
�Correct as usual, Your Magnificence.
�And this is a problem�why? Don�t they believe in Me any longer?�
�Not at all Sir. It seems that the vast majority of them have faith in You. They just don�t want to believe that You are involved in Creation in any way.�
�That makes no sense.�
�And And you�re surprised?�
�I suppose not (sign). Is someone demanding that they accept intelligent design?�
�Not at all. There are just people who want to explore that line of thinking, and to offer it to students as a possible alternative.�
�I�m still not seeing the problem. If they don�t have a theory that�s been fully proven, why wouldn�t they want to look at alternatives?�
�Something about separation of Church and State My Lord.�
�Hang on a sec�are we talking about America?�
�Primarily�yes Sir.�
�One nation, under Me?�
�That would be them.�
�The country whose money says �In Me we trust?�
�Right.�
�What in the world are they afraid of?�
�Frankly Sir, they�re worried about going back to a medieval sort of mindset, where everyone is required to believe what they are told, rather than seeking the truth.�
�Ah, kind of like the way that everyone has to believe in global warming.�
�Actually Sir, that appears to be a perfectly acceptable required belief. A great many of them don�t want to hear any about evidence that contradicts that theory, and they don�t seem to find that medieval at all.�
�So let�s see if I get this right. They�re against exploring any theory of life that involves Me, on the grounds that it�s superstitious and inhibits science, but they�re not willing to entertain and explore alternative theories�even when they don�t involve Me�when the theory in question is dear to them?�
�That�s about it, Your Tremendously Impressiveness.�
�What�s wrong with them?�
�Something to do with having a Republican President Sir�it always seems to throw them into a frenzy.�
�Huh! It�s really a matter of courage I suppose.�
�Sir?�
�Courage�that�s what it is. When you cherish an idea you should have the courage to let it be challenged. If the idea is as good as you believe, it will survive�stronger than ever. And, if your idea is proven false, you will have the satisfaction of discovering a new truth. You�d think they�d understand that by now.�
�Sounds like a new commandment on the way Sir.�
�Nope�I�m through with that. They don�t pay attention anyway. Let �em figure it out. I�ve got better things to do. Any idea when America Idol starts up again Gabriel?�
�No idea - and it�s �Michael�, Sir.�
�Whatever.�
