In regards to nymkatte's challenge, I present to you.... 1. a song from lion king--check 2. jedi/sith slang--check 3. Smog (yes the dragon)--check 4. a beauty contest for men--check 5. the line "who's your jedi master?" in the "who's your daddy" context--check 6. a corny romance novel--check 7. a sex magazine fitting for the sw world (preferably if the person reading it is in the toilet)--check 8. a classic shot of coca cola--check 9. an anime moment--check 10. a ty beanie baby--check *ahem* The legal stuff Author: Cerulean Blue Category: Goofy as all hell Rating: I'd rather not say...I'm just gonna start from a blank page and see where it goes Disclaimer: I don't own em, George. ======================================== "Aww, lookie lookie Pinky...Senator Amidala posed for 'Hot Galactic Senators' again...would you look at the...." Palpatine was interrupted in his reverie by a loud knock on the bathroom door. He quickly placed the tiny stuffed beanie baby on its special ledge and went to the door. A guard in full regalia was on the other side and informed him of a special guest. Lo and behold, when he entered his office, Anakin Skywalker was standing before him. He was a beautiful man, from the top of his blonde head to the bottom of his stinky feet. He was shifting from foot to foot, antsy about something. "Wooooooo....who's YOUR jedi master, baby?" Palpatine slapped Anakin on the behind and motioned for his guards to leave the room. Anakin gulped and tried to address Palpatine's question. "My master is...uh, Obi-Wan Kenobi...Mr. supreme chancellor sir...uh.." Palpatine slapped his ass again and replied cooly, "You can call me Palpy." "Why so jumpy, Ani? Gotta get home or something?" Anakin gulped again, and tried to back away from the horny supreme chancellor. "I, uh, gotta watch Sailor Moon. It's on...today's the episode where they find, uh, the princess. Yeah, thats it." Anakin dropped a holovid on the chancellor's desk and tried to back out of the room. It was then he looked out the window and saw the smog shaped like a dragon(yeah, i took license with that one...sue me). Anakin took that moment to distract Palpatine from his current train of thought. "Hey, Palpy, check out that smog!" He then spiked his shot of coca-cola with Nubian sleeping draught. Palpatine took one sip and fell out cold. Anakin put on the Lion King soundtrack and jammed out to "Can you feel the love tonight?" while confirming Obi-Wan's position in the Mr. Coruscant pageant. "He's second place, Mace? Oooooo..tell him that I knocked out his competition. That horny sithdog is down for the count." Anakin looked back to the sleeping Palpatine, who was sucking his thumb contentedly. ------------- At the pageant -------------- Obi-Wan sat nervously, re-reading the same page over and over again in Yvette Moonlighter's latest romantic thriller, "My Savior, My Jedi." Knight Kameroon had just professed his undying love to the beautiful Princess Kaleen, but he didn't know yet that she was dying. He tried to stifle back a tear and wondered why in the hell it was taking so long for Anakin to knock off that slimy sithpuff, Palpatine. To think that slime had actually called him, Obi-Wan Kenobi, a "lightstick with a tribble for brains." The nerve! It was then he heard the final stage call and went out. Turns out, since Palpy didn't show, everyone's final standings were moved up...which made him...THE WINNER! He accepted his roses and blew kisses to the crowd...even Mace congratulated him. He was the most beautiful man in Coruscant, thanks to Anakin. -------------- The moral of the story: When you aren't winning, knock off your competition! ----------- Finis "Begun, this Clone War has."--Yoda, "Attack of the Clones"