MexiCo. was faced with a serious problem. The government knew about the Mexicans, as did the scientists, and the employees of MexiCo. But the American people were still in the dark. Everyone knew that the public was not ready to handle the truth, so the Mexican Project was kept top secret. This caused serious transportation problems. MexiCo. now had to ship internationally, over great distances, and through populated areas. If people see a truck with Mexicans piled in the back more than three at a time, they get suspicious. MexiCo. had to transport them by the millions, billions, trillions. So how to sneak the Mexicans across the border? The solution came as part accident, part science, all tin cans.
The revalation came when the MexiCo. computer network was down. Four of the production line employees, with nothing better to do, were playing poker for pennies. They were into their sixth or seveth hand, when one looked up and was shocked to find himself surrounded by Mexicans. At first he was frightened, thinking they were had somehow planned mutiny. However after a long pause, he noticed they were not moving. They were standing motionlessly, fixated on the pennies at the center of the table. The man picked up one of the pennies, and the Mexicans' glazed eyes followed it. By this time, the crowd of Mexicans had grown rather large and had attracted a lot of attention. Then a sole voice pierced the eerie silence: "Hey, these Mexicans ain't breathin'!" A young Texan exclaimed. And indeed they were not.
Well, technically the Mexicnas were breathing, but not very much. As it turns out, there is something about the wavelength of light refleced off of copper that makes the Mexicans go into a trance-like state. They follow the source of copper wherever it goes, until it stops, at which point their metabolic procecees slow down to a near halt, and their heart, and breathing rates apporach zero. None of the employeed of MexiCo. knew what to do with this discovery, so they left it up to our trusty scientists.
The scientists did as scientists do, and expirimented. They found that if a penny is placed in thhe centrer of a room, and Mexicans are realeased nearby that the Mexicans will gather around the penny, and will crowd into the room, until the room is completley full. They also dicovered, that the same pehnomenon occurs, even when the amount of copper in the test substance is very small. The Mexi-Trance is observed with metals of copper composition 2.7 ppm or more. One more innovation, led to the perfect transportation solution. A new chemical, deemed Mexi-Dure, was invented. When Mexicans were soaked in a solution of Mexi-Dure, they became flexible, maleable, and elastic. Soon the packing began.
Tin cans were produced with 3 ppm copper content. Mexicans were soaked in Mexi-Dure, and set loose. They all went into the tin cans, and thanks to Mexi-Dure, could cram themselves in extemely tightly. So now MexiCo. could easily transport as many Mexicans as needed, in tin cans. And best of all, they were self packing.
So problem solved. Or was it? Why you ask am I so concerned with Mexicans. They seem like a great thing, and out economy runs on them. So why write this 'conspiracy' theory? Well read on loyal reader, read on...
