Once upon a time there was a beautiful young princess named Krepana.
Don't forget about me!!
And she had a sister named Cercey. They lived in a beautiful castle.
Princess Cercey, I think Songdancer isn't doing a very good job of telling this story.
I think we should tell it ourselves.
Then I shall defer to your highnesses in the telling of this tail.
I think that should be T-A-L-E not T-A-I-L.
Look! It's Sir Augustin!
So you finally decided to show up, eh?
If you don't mind, I'm telling a story here. Ahem. As I was saying, Princess Krepana lived in a beautiful castle with her sister, Princess Cercey. Now, their castle was a magic castle and it could do almost anything it wanted to do.
Or anything we wanted it to do.
I thought you weren't telling the story anymore!
What came next, Cercey?
One day we got bored. Getting bored really hard in a castle is.
You tell 'em, Cercey.
And I decided that Princess Krepana needed a knight to protect her from the Evil Prince.
This is NOT how it happened!
Please be quiet, Songdancer. Cercey is telling us a story.
So we put out a general announcement that there was a position open for a knight. There were lots and lots of stupid boys who came to try out for the post.
Oh brother.
But none of them were good enough. Then Augustin came out of the crowd.
He was big and intimidating and all the other contestants ran away as fast as they could. We decided that meant that he was the strongest knight in our kingdom and he got the job.
I'll have you know that this is NOT how it happened.
Once we informed him that he got the job, he began right away protecting us. Once he thought Krepana was drowning because he didn't know she could swim.
Please, Cercey. Don't put that picture in my head again...
And his armor rusted and he had to wear a loincloth until it could be cleaned.
I did not wear a loincloth ever.
Cercey and Krepana burst into hysterical laughter
Your highnesses, if you would care to settle down and tell the story as it really happened.
But that IS how it happened!
It is, it is, it is!!!!
I suppose Cercey and I should go feed the ducks.
Okee dokee. Bye Sir Augustin!
Bye Sir Augustin!
The Princesses leave with their duckies.
Now I will tell the story as it was meant to be told.
Once upon a time there were two beautiful princesses named Cercey and Krepana. Princess Cercey had two knights: Janvieve and Quizling (collectively known as Grenadier or Grenie) and a cute little pet dragon named Nia. Princess Krepana had a pet dragon named Bubo, but no knight. That was all right with Princess Krepana. She was pretty good at staying out of trouble. So was Princess Cercey but Grenadier liked her a lot, so they hung around and protected her anyway.
The kingdom in which Princess Krepana and Princess Cercey resided wasn't a very big one, but they lived in a magic castle and that kept them very busy. Their favorite part of the castle was the meadow that was in Princess Krepana's closet (she kept her clothes in her dresser). Since it was a magic meadow, it was always in bloom and so they could pick flowers every day of the year. Their other favorite part of the castle was outside the actual castle. It was a full-size trebuchet that they affectionately called the Flinger. They flung anything and everything and had a great time doing it.
One day while Princess Krepana and Princess Cercey were playing with the Flinger an young man rode up astride a white horse.
"Hello, Princesses," he said from his high vantage point.
"Who are you?" asked Princess Krepana.
"I am Prince Benjamin from the neighboring kingdom."
"Well, Prince-Benjamin-From-the-Neighboring-Kingdom, you are trespassing on our land," Princess Krepana said. "Go away."
"I would, you see," replied Prince Benjamin, "but I'm hunting for a princess to marry me."
"That's nice," answered Princess Krepana as Princess Cercey snuck away to find Grenadier.
"Well, actually..." And Prince Benjamin scooped Princess Krepana up onto his horse and galloped off. You see, Prince Benjamin was the worst kind of prince there is. An Evil Prince. When Princess Cercey and Grenadier returned to find that Princess Krepana was gone, they immediately began wailing for help.
"Oh, won't somebody help us rescue Princess Krepana!" they cried.
This is where I come in.
Suddenly, a large figure hovered before them on lacy pink faerie wings.
"I'll help you," he said.
"Thank you, thank you, thank you!" Princess Cercey said, jumping up and down. The large faerie looked a little confused at Princess Cercey's exuberance.
"What's your name?" asked Grenie in chorus.
"Uh, Augustin. I'm a faerie pirate."
"If you rescue Princess Krepana, we'll let you be a knight," Princess Cercey said. Augustin kind of shrugged at that and disappeared.
Meanwhile, Princess Krepana was struggling to free herself from the vicelike grip of the Evil Prince. But she couldn't free herself. Suddenly, the brilliant white horse reared back.
"What is it, you wretched animal?" the Evil Prince said, allowing Princess Krepana to jump away from him. Floating in front of the horse was a faerie pirate with pink wings. The Evil Prince's horse bolted, leaving Princess Krepana alone with the strange being.
"Hello and thanks," the lovely Princess said with a curtsey.
"You're Princess Krepana?" the being asked.
"Yes. And you have the privilege of being my knight, good sir. What is your name?"
"Augustin the faerie-pirate-spy."
"Well, now you are Sir Augustin the faerie-pirate-spy. Let's go home."
And that is how Princess Krepana and Princess Cercey came across Sir Augustin the faerie-pirate-spy.
And I have never worn a loincloth.
Let's pass through this door to the next room!
