Grant's Tomb Criterium

by Dan Schmalz

Art-nerd note

I couldn't help but notice how sharp some of the college uniforms looked, Princeton especially, but it is easier to out together a good looking kit if you only have to consider one sponsor.

Crit-racing observation

Crits are cycling's NASCAR, lot's of left turns (usually), bumping and furious action. I haven't developed my crit mindset yet this year. I noticed that a few in the race have already begun shoving their hips and shoulders around. There was one guy with a wide keyster that seemed to be on my hip and shoulders all day. It got in my head a few times, so I guess he wins. Check me in August and maybe I'll throw him a head butt.

Bonus fantasy TV programming suggestion

They should have cameras on each bike just like NECKCAR to catch the action, but more accurately to catch the crashes. David Sommerville had a camera on when he crashed at FBF, and I watched that footage over and over like it was the Janet Jackson halftime show.

Dave Smith is a stud. He's big, strong and fit; a tough combination to beat. He can hang in breaks and sprint. It's a pleasure to be on the same team as him, although with my fitness level right now, I'm more of a rolling cheerleader. Hopefully he'll fly under the radar for a while longer and take some more wins, before he gets wheel sucked to death like a lot of NYC strongmen.

Alex Gulla is wicked strong, but in a fast race with a cast of wily old crit-coots; he needed to be tactical and crafty. I pray he doesn't get too smart too soon.

Being at Grant's Tomb again reminded me of doing early am sprint workouts with Dave Jordan back in the days. DJ would roll around the course shouting encouragement or in my case pointing out my failure to grasp the obvious. Being Dave's teammate was great because he always had a good grasp of the race situation and would "recommend" the proper way to address the situation. If you've never been yelled at by Dave Jordan, you're probably new to the CRCA or deaf. Feel free to share your favorite DJ quotes here. My favorite is, "Dan, just what were you hoping to accomplish up there?" Ah, good times. Bonus DJ factoid, his belief in the training benefits of Yoohoo, how do you not love that?

I'm not a big fan of race reports that go I attacked, I was at my AT max, I bonked, etc. I just assume that no one really cares about me and my 55th place finish. But here's how my day went: I sucked enough to not be able to do more than one move in the race; I didn't suck enough to finish. I would put my level of suck at 6, a 10 being the highest level of suck.