THE YOU'RE IN MY HEART SERIES HELTER SKELTER Part Eight By Susan and JoLayne RATING: PG-15 CHARACTERS: Methos, Amanda, Duncan, Kate, Joe, Cassandra, various Watchers SUMMARY: A month after Won't Get Fooled Again, Geoffrey's watcher figures out that Methos is not a myth, and very much alive. Methos is kidnapped; his mind and body are studied. NOTE: Thanks MnD, you rock, girl! DISCLAIMER: The characters you've heard of are the property of Panzer/Davis and/or Greg Widen. We're deeply in their debt for creating this universe, characters and the concept of immortality. However, the muses are in overdrive so we're using them with no hope of profit, only to entertain Methos and Amanda fans. Part Seven As Duncan and Kate looked around the mess in the kitchen and dining room, they had to smile because of the lightheartedness that had moved them all to act like children with a good old fashioned food fight. Kate grabbed a mop from the closet. Duncan looked up at the antique cast iron chandelier he had bought in Spain. He cringed as he wiped a dollop of sour cream from one of the arms, hoping it wasn't ruined. Kate came up behind him, seeing his concern over one of his precious possessions and held him from behind. "It's fine, Duncan. This was good for all of us. It's good to forget how long we've been alive, and all the garbage we've had to go through and just live in the moment." Duncan halfheartedly agreed, but it was his kitchen... The table was built with his own two hands. The chairs, filled with colorful splotches of now indistinguishable food stuffs. Kate laughed. "We'll help clean. Don't worry." Cassandra, who had been sitting silently in a chair in the corner of the dining room sighed heavily, and then nodded and stood. "Yes. We'll help." Duncan laid a hand on her shoulder as she picked up a couple of plates to bring them into the kitchen. "Cass? Are you all right?" "Sure. Just fine," she said, walking past him and setting the plates in the sink. She had heard the laughter from the bathroom all the way into the kitchen. How Methos could now be jovial... she couldn't understand it. Her insides were still reverberating from revisiting the not so pleasant past. He either had to have no feelings whatsoever or he was truly messed up. From everything she'd seen in the past couple of days, she chose the latter. She had to. She didn't know what it was about Methos, but when she arrived and found that her whole purpose of being there was to help Methos return his senses, she kept telling herself to just leave, but she couldn't. There was some pull that Methos had for her, and she hoped it was just so she could find it in her heart to forgive him and move on with life and not anything else. Just then, Joe led Methos and Amanda back into the dining room and declared, "Ugh! Look at this mess. It looks worse now." Kate tossed him a rag. "You're welcome to get some of this up." Methos and Amanda joined in, picking up globs from the floor and dumping them on plates on the table. Joe joked, "The clean up crew is the Watcher position no one wants." Amanda said, "Joe. We love you. You're a great friend. But if you mention Watchers to me again, I'll have to bean you." "You and what army?" Joe lightly asked, but seeing her expression, promised, "I will not mention them again." ~~~~~ Beth was glad she wasn't an immortal this one moment only because there wasn't any way they could tell that she was standing at the living room window. From her angle, she could only see them if they were in the hall or one corner of the dining room. So far, she had seen six people, one of which was Joe Dawson. "Fraternizing with the enemy, huh, Joe?" She recognized Methos, Amanda, Joe, Duncan and Kate. However the tall dark haired woman was a mystery to her. Was she immortal? What was she doing here with them? Beth ducked down when Methos looked over his shoulder. She was too close to getting her revenge to be discovered now. Beth couldn't keep the smile off of her face. It would be so sweet. Before she rushed headlong into this, she had some more research to do namely who the mystery woman was and what part she played in this little drama. The wind had picked up and no amount of clothing would keep her warm. Beth knew she had just about reached her endurance of the cold. Just a few more minutes was all she could take and she'd head back to the warmth of her room at the quaint inn she'd discovered. Methos kept looking around the room and out the window and it was beginning to unsettle her. There was no way he could know she was outside the cabin. She chided herself for being paranoid. She had to keep her thoughts focused on the task at hand. She braved another look into the living room. Amanda was practically sitting on Methos' lap fawning and fussing over the bastard. "Enjoy him while you can," Beth said. She slunk off in the shadows back to where she'd hidden her car a couple miles back. "It'll all be over soon." ~~~~~ The hair on the back of Methos' neck kept standing up. Nervously, he kept looking around. He couldn't shake the feeling someone was watching him. At the slightest sound he'd jerk his head around anticipating gods only knew what. His stint as the watcher's pet science project had left him a little paranoid. "Someone's watching us," Methos stated. "I can feel it." Amanda rubbed his shoulder and told him assuredly, "No one could get this close to the cabin without one of us knowing, I'm sure." Methos pushed her hand away. "Don't patronize me, Amanda. I've lived long enough to know when I'm being watched." "Honey, you're paranoid and I can't blame you." Amanda tried to break through that sudden wall that Methos had erected between them. "Besides, with the snow and the cold, who would be nuts enough to trek out here in the middle of nowhere?" "Methos, if it makes you feel any better," Duncan told him as he tossed another log into the fireplace, "this place is hard to find unless you know where to look." "Well, it doesn't," Methos stood up and walked to the front door. "What if they know where to look?" "I've scoured the database since the rescue and there has been no mention of you what so ever," Joe informed his friend. "Finding you would be all over the network if they knew." "Excuse me if I don't trust their honesty, Joe," Methos yelled, turning on him too. "They aren't too high on my list of trusted people right now." Methos opened the door and looked outside. Off in the distance he saw the flash of metal and the movement of something in the trees. "See? I see something!" Without hesitating, Methos ran out into the yard in his sock feet. He was nearly to the tree line when Duncan tackled him after his calls for Methos to stop were ignored. Their forward momentum propelled them skidding along the snow covered ground for several feet. After they came to a stop, Duncan's much heavier body had shoved Methos face down in the deep snow. Methos shoved with all his might and tossed the Highlander off him. "Jesus, MacLeod, what the hell was that for?" Methos asked after he had spit out a mouthful of snow and dirt. "I could have caught them!" "Caught who? I didn't see anyone, Methos." Duncan got to his feet and offered Methos his hand. "I was afraid you were trying to leave." "Yeah, of course, I was leaving, in hip deep snow," Methos allowed Mac to pull him up. "With no shoes or coat!!!" "Well, you have done stranger things these last few days." With that comment, Duncan grinned. "I may be nuts, but I'm not insane, Highlander!" Methos ground out. "Now, are you going to help look for them or not?" Duncan looked his friend over and decided, "You're not exactly dressed for a search, Methos." Methos jerked around and glowered at Duncan. "You are such a pain in the ass!" "So you've said," Duncan laughed good-naturedly. "I swear I don't see anyone. Why would I lie?" "Because you think I've lost my mind." Methos started to stalk back to the cabin in the mid-calf deep snow. "I know you think you saw something, I'm not doubting that," Duncan reasoned as he followed Methos. "It's just that--" "Save it, MacLeod," Methos wrapped his arms around himself against the cold. "I know what I saw, whether you believe me or not." Methos continued his trek back to the cabin muttering and cursing the situation. Duncan decided it wouldn't hurt to at least look around; Methos sounded convinced of what he had seen. A quick survey as Duncan walked to the cabin revealed exactly what Duncan knew it would-nothing. There were some footprints in the snow, had to have been the size of a woman's shoe, and Duncan dismissed them as a clue because Kate, Cassandra, and Amanda had all taken walks outside since their arrival. The door of the cabin crashed hard against the kitchen wall as Methos burst through it; Duncan was hot on his heels. Everyone jumped from Methos' abrupt entrance. Duncan nearly collided with Methos as he had assumed the old man wouldn't have just stopped frozen just inside the door. "Gods, you big oaf," Methos said as he tried to maintain his balance. "Take some of your fortune and by some grace." "I'm afraid to ask, but I'm feeling brave," Kate ventured. Methos and Duncan were both wet, especially Methos, who had taken the brunt of whatever had taken place outside. "What in the world happened to you two?" "Your husband decided to play football without warning me," Methos grumbled as he brushed the globs of snow from his shoulders. "He thought I'd make a break for freedom sans coat and shoes. Poor doddering Methos!" "You should be quicker on your feet, Methos," Amanda said laughing. "I don't think you've got any more clean clothes. " "I was at a distinct disadvantage," Methos complained. "Since you ruined my clothes, MacLeod, you can spare some of yours." "Fine," Duncan said, nodding, then added, "Just don't get too comfortable in them. I'd like them back," Duncan teased as he and Methos tramped up the stairs. Methos gave the Highlander a playful shove. "I have better clothes than you." "Says who?" Duncan asked. Methos' smug grin was followed by a laugh. "Says Amanda." The two men disappeared, Duncan glowering at Methos, up the stairs leaving the others to their company. "Boys!!" Amanda sighed. "One minute they're at each other's throats and the next they're best buddies." Kate took the opportunity to make some more coffee. She wondered if it might not be a bad idea to switch to decaf; everyone's nerves were stretched tight. Oh, well when this was over she intended to go on a long vacation. Amanda and Joe had taken over the sofa. They sat quietly talking about anything but the current situation. Cassandra pushed some magazines aside and sat on the edge of the coffee table. Something needed to be done and she knew the others were more than ready for this to be over. "I think it's time for me to talk to Methos. Things aren't getting better." Cassandra held Amanda's gaze. "Do you think he's ready to cooperate?" Amanda tucked loose strands of hair behind her ear. "Yes, I think he is. After the food fight, I got him to admit that he needed your help, though that doesn't mean he'll go along docilely." "He wouldn't be Methos if he did," Cassandra agreed and matched Amanda's restrained smile. "I've seen the not-to-pleasant side of him, remember?" Joe started to say something in Methos' defense, but Amanda stopped him. "This can't be easy for you, Cassandra and I respect you for doing it." She reached for Cassandra's hand and gave it a squeeze. "I swear that Methos is worth the trouble." "We will probably never be friends, but that doesn't mean we have to be enemies." Cassandra gestured for Kate to join them. "Methos may want help, but he's going to have to be open to it. That's where I'll need your help." Three expectant faces looked to her for direction. "First, this is between Methos and I; you all will need to stay out of it unless he brings in you into it by name." She looked pointedly at Amanda, who nodded in understanding. "I'm with you on this," Amanda said immediately. "Second, things may get ugly and I'm not talking about violence; he seems to have lost that inclination, thank the Goddess. What I am talking about is the memories that might be dredged up during this; whatever we do, it's important for him to see support and understanding in our faces. No matter what comes up, don't break our concentration. Don't get in the way." Kate sat in the closest chair to Joe and Amanda and told them for the first time, "The other night he was reliving some pretty nasty things. We need to keep in mind all things he's seen and experienced." "He's been remembering things wrong, Kate," Amanda brought up. "Cassandra, what should we do about that?" Cassandra stood up and paced, giving how she would tackle this great thought. "When that happens, we need to gently correct it." She considered something for a moment. "Since you have known him the longest, Amanda, you will more likely to know when things actually happened. Joe, you have known him how many years?" "Almost ten before MacLeod discovered his immortality," Joe supplied. "Good," Cassandra smiled. "Between you two and Duncan, you should be able to correct most of the inaccuracies. Subtly get my attention when he makes chronological mistakes." "How can I help?" Kate asked. "I don't really know him at all, just what Duncan's told me and what I've seen here, but I want to do something." "You are going to be our impartial third party," Cassandra told her. "What does that mean?" Kate smiled. "I want you to hover on the edge of things, assist me if I need it," Cassandra relayed. "You have a different perspective than any of us. Just listen and be ready to play along with any direction I go." "Aye, aye." Kate dutifully saluted her, then felt her joke crash. The others didn't find anything particularly funny at the moment. "I will do anything I can." "Now, we're all on the same page," Cassandra looked at the others. "Any questions?" The others shook their heads. "Good." The approaching buzz signaled Methos and Duncan's arrival. "Joe, you or Amanda need to fill Duncan in on the details." Duncan and Methos descended the stairs in nice dry clothes; Methos indeed having found some clothes in Mac's dresser. A sweatshirt several sizes too big and a baggy pair of jeans belted tightly at the waist swamped Methos' leaner frame. The only thing that properly fit the older immortal was the pair of thick hunting socks he'd foraged out of one the Highlander's dresser drawers. Amanda didn't try to contain her giggle. "Playing dress up, Methos?" she offered her cheek to him for a kiss and wasn't disappointed when he kissed her on the mouth instead. "Everyone's a comedian these days." Methos snagged the day's paper from the coffee table and went to sit in the dining room. "Some of us are all brain and not brawn is all." He spread the paper out across the table and soon got lost in reading. Cassandra nodded to Kate who left for the kitchen and her appointed post. Joe filled Duncan in on the plan while Amanda watched the whole proceeding with a mixture of hope and apprehension. This had to work. Cassandra casually walked into the kitchen and made herself a cup of coffee and settled in the chair next to Methos. Methos looked up from his newspaper and looked at Cassandra. "You want the horoscope page?" "No, thank you." Cassandra sipped her coffee. Methos shrugged and continued reading. After several minutes of Cassandra watching him, he could no longer ignore her. "Did you need something?" "I thought we could talk," she said.  "I read it's going to snow tomorrow."  "Not about the weather, Methos." "That's always a good conversation starter, but okay." Methos looked around the living room and saw the others were doing their best to look distracted. By looking at Amanda, trying her best to watch without actually holding her head blatantly to face him, he knew it was time for his talk with Cassandra. Better now than later, he supposed. "What did you have in mind?" "Maybe between the two of us, we can get order to your memories," Cassandra offered. "It's worth a try." Methos folded the paper and tossed it aside. "That would be bliss. So much so, I don't mind talking to you about it. I guess that shows you how desperate I've become." "I've never pictured you as desperate, Methos," Cassandra told him. "You're always in control." "In control? Yes&ldots;no&ldots;.sometimes," Methos replied. "Not now, certainly, and I hate that." "Hate what?" She already knew what his answer would be. "Your lack of control over this?" "Do you like to lose control?" He tucked hands under the opposite armpit and stared at her. Cassandra paused and thought for a moment. "Sometimes we don't have a choice in the matter." "But I should!" Methos sat up straighter in his chair and glared at Cassandra. "And that's what I hate." Cassandra noted the sudden change in demeanor, and didn't want to appear startled, as she was. She continued, "What happens when you lose that control?" "I can end up on the floor like a blubbering child," Methos stated bluntly. Sensing he had more to say, Cassandra asked, "Or?" "When did you take up psychology?" Methos joked awkwardly. "Do you want my help or not?" Cassandra inquired. "This is serious." "Don't you think I realize that?" Methos said. He sat down again, almost as if defeated. "Excuse me if I don't know what to do. It's odd even being next to you, not to mention talking to you." "Is this better?" Cassandra moved over to the next chair, away from him.  Methos cracked a smile, but didn't look at her, keeping his focus trained on the literature page of the newspaper. Cassandra asked, "Do you like being a loner?" "I'm not a loner," Methos protested. "Ask Amanda, or Joe. Hell, you can ask MacLeod." "When is the last time you asked someone for help, Methos?" "I don't recall." Methos started thumping his fingers against the table with nervous repetition and noticed Kate sit down at the other end of the table with a cup of coffee. He snarled, "Although when I was strapped to the damn table, I suppose I asked for something. I might have called out for help before I killed that bastard, but you don't like for me to talk about killing anyone." Methos turned his attention on Cassandra. "You expect that from me, don't you?" "I didn't say that, Methos." Cassandra uncrossed her legs and sat facing him directly. "Don't fight me. We're on the same side for once." She decided to change topics. "Did you feel like everyone had abandoned you?" "Abandoned, yeah. By everyone. Most of all myself. It was pretty easy to see that there weren't any reinforcements, or friends, pals, buddies, around to 'help' me." His eyes scanned those watching from the living room. "They were looking for you." "I wasn't privy to that information," Methos reminded her in a hurt tone. Cassandra looked at others trying not to eavesdrop in the living room. "Joe was there with you, wasn't he?" "Some help he was, I had to kill that bastard, Lang, myself," Methos' words were laced with anger as he pointed at Joe in the other room. "He didn't lift a finger to do that." Joe painfully announced, "I did what I could, Methos." "That's what they all say," Methos words were spoken so softly Cassandra barely heard them. "Who says, Methos?" Cassandra questioned. "Tell me." "The people who didn't come to help me when I need them. They all have excuses." "Like who?" Cassandra was surprised by the sadness in his revelation. "There are too many to mention, Cass." "Then start with one." "Vashti."  "Who is that?" "My teacher." Both Duncan and Joe was vastly surprised by that information, as he had always claimed to not remember so far back. Cassandra softly asked, "Did she abandon you?" Methos nodded. "She kicked me out of her life." "Did she give you a reason?" "'You are ready,' she told me." "I'm just guessing here, but you didn't feel like you were?" "Did you feel like you were ready when your teacher told you that you were?" Methos asked, truly curious. "Who was your teacher anyway? I know who turned you, but not who taught you." He sighed and waved away the halfhearted interrogation. "It doesn't matter, I suppose. You're asking all the questions." He was silent a moment, then said, "But let me ask you one." "Ok, go ahead," Cassandra was nervous. "When you escaped, did you like it?" "Freedom isn't fully appreciated until you lose it and gain it back." Cassandra told him without malice. "This not about me, though." "Well, you're a better person than I, because I'm not appreciating freedom right now." Methos clenched his hands unconsciously. "Instead of feeling grateful, I feel like I was run over by a cement mixer." "I'm confused, Methos." "Welcome to the club." His laugh was bitter.  He was quiet and Cassandra took the time to gather her thoughts. She wasn't sure how this was going but at least he was talking and expressing himself in a calm manner. He was trying and that was more than she had expected. Amanda was still stuck on Methos' concern that no one was looking for him, or even cared that he was gone. That he would think that made her both guilty and angry. She was angry at Methos for not knowing for sure, like the sun comes up in the east every 24 hours, that after their time in Bora Bora, all the words and promises they had said to each other, that she would just let him disappear without a trace, or expect that he had anything to do with that disappearance. After he didn't return from his beer run, leaving her to wait and worry, she had traced his steps to the liquor store and met Lloyd and Lucille, and found out that he was friends with them. According to what she had culled from the conversation, they might have even thought of him as a son they never had. They had mentioned how they wished he would find a nice girl to settle down with after losing Alexa. Methos had told strangers who owned a liquor store about Alexa! Or, he could have known the couple for so long that they knew a lot about him. They did say they were looking forward to having him over for dinner again as it appeared he hadn't been eating. Amanda had smiled. He had been eating in Bora Bora, but he was also expending a lot of energy. On her walk back to Methos' apartment, down the block from the liquor store, Amanda had noticed screech marks on the sidewalk as well in the alleyway just ahead of her. The pavement had been recently wet where she stood, and when she bent down, she found a brown shard of glass, that in its complete form, could have been a beer bottle. She had so totally envisioned Methos being trapped at that very spot. She also knew that the only way Methos could have gotten himself trapped in that situation was if his attackers were mortals. Much like the mortal Watchers who had broken into her Paris apartment with thoughts of taking her head to steal Rebecca's crystal, Methos hadn't sensed the danger. As Amanda watched Methos and Cassandra in the dining room, Amanda felt terrible that her first inclination from that jarring evening was to run to MacLeod and accuse Methos of hiring mortals to kill her. At the time, it felt so right. There had been times in their shared history that Methos had been ready to take her head. Amanda didn't like to think about those three times, and she was sure that Methos didn't either. At the time of the events surrounding the Methuselah Stone, her mind was a whirr. Methos had totally fallen in love with a dying mortal, and she knew to what ends Methos was capable of doing when there was someone he loved at stake. Amanda looked at Duncan, and remembered how Duncan had stood up for Methos as Amanda was blindly trying to blame him, anyone, for her near death. Amanda took Duncan's hand in hers and smiled. The pain of accusing Methos during one of her high-strung episodes was almost too much for her to even contemplate. She had confessed to Methos what she had done and thought, and he had nonchalantly shrugged it off. He had told her, "Even if I love another, Amanda, you have to know that I would never think to harm you." "Not even during the Gathering?" she had asked him. Methos had replied, "Well. The Gathering is another matter all together." Even though he had held her and kissed her, she hadn't felt comforted. Then he had added, "Now is not the Gathering, and you have to be ready to take my head then, too." No, Amanda had never been one to give up. The Gathering was probably a fable, much like many things in life, and couldn't think about it now. Now, Methos had to get his mind back on the right track. She would never stop trying to make that happen. She had Methos and Cassandra in the same room, for goodness sake! She wouldn't let any chance go by to help him. She hadn't given up trying to find out what had happened to Methos either. After figuring out that it had to be mortal perpetrators, more than likely Watchers, who had taken him, she went right to Joe. Because he hadn't heard anything about the Watchers finding out Adam's true identity, Joe had a time accepting that the organization he worked for would kidnap, and maybe kill, his good friend. Those days of not knowing where Methos was were the hardest of her long life. Methos was the one person alive who she'd known from the beginning of her immortality. He was the one that allowed her to be who she was without any pretense. He was the person who had taught her the tricks about surviving the Game, in spite of being a woman. He was the person she could cry with, laugh with, argue with and never worry that he'd think less of her for doing any of those things. Joe had gleaned information in the database that Geoffrey's watcher, and lover, Beth Merriweather, was still in Seacouver, more than a month after Geoffrey's beheading. The very next day, Duncan MacLeod appeared at Methos' apartment, where she was awaiting Methos' return. ~~~~~ "Amanda! We need to talk." Duncan had pushed past her into the living room, FED EX envelope in hand. "Can you explain these?" Amanda glanced at what appeared to be photographs in his hand. "I don't have time look at your honeymoon pictures, Duncan." She ignored him and walked into the kitchen and poured herself a glass of orange juice. "Seems like I wasn't the only one keeping secrets." He thrust the photos into her hand. "What in the hell are you talking about?"  Amanda took the photos and glanced through them. Her eyes widened when she saw that they were of her and Methos taken over the last century: one of them kissing in a pond at Woodstock, another of them boarding the ill-fated Titanic, still another of her sitting on his lap at the Cotton Club in the 20's, the latest one was of them in Bora Bora just a couple of weeks ago. So the cat was finally out of the bag. "Where did you get these?!" Amanda demanded. "My questions first!" he replied.  Amanda was deep in thought. Of course! It was the Watchers who had taken Methos, it had to be. They had access to her Chronicle, and thereby these pictures. But... why give them to Duncan MacLeod? She sunk into the couch to think of all the possibilities. After floating through many reasons, she only held one as the only reason that made sense. The Watchers had to know that Methos and Amanda were together, and they probably knew that Amanda and Duncan had a messy breakup. Since they were being watched, the Watchers would also know that Amanda had gone to Joe with Methos' disappearance, and that Duncan was at the bar also. They wanted to piss Duncan off properly, so he wouldn't help her in her quest to find out where he was. They were so simple to figure out. There was no subtly involved with that entire organization. She realized that Duncan had sat down next to her and had asked her a question. "What?" "How long have you known Methos, Amanda?" Duncan asked quietly. "That's none of your concern," she said as she walked to the kitchen counter to get her juice. "I've done nothing but feel bad for the last month about your hurt over Kate," Duncan said, walking to her, not dropping the subject, as Amanda had wished he would. "Then I find out not only are you sleeping with Methos, but you have been for some time!" Who the hell was he to be upset? Duncan had blind sided her with news that he had found his old love, his wife, his secret wife, and that he was making an honest woman of her. "Jealous?" She asked coldly. "You're married remember?" "That has nothing to do with it, Amanda." Duncan retorted, "You lied to me!" "No! You assumed that Methos and I had never met, if my memory serves me correctly," she pointed out. "And besides it was right in the middle of the whole Kalas mess. What was I supposed to do? Say, 'Hope you kill the bastard, and by the way, Methos and I have known each other for the last 1200 years!'? That would have been so helpful at the time." Duncan's mouth hung open at her revelation. His best friend and his ex-lover had known each other three times as long as he'd even been alive. "And you've been sleeping together all this time?" "On occasion," Amanda simply stated. "You knew I had other lovers, MacLeod, as have you, so don't act all high and mighty. Besides, I wasn't married to someone else the whole time we were together." "I can't believe this!" Duncan yelled. "I can't bloody well believe this!" Amanda ignored his tirade and flipped through the pictures again. She stopped at the picture of her and Methos kissing in the pond at Woodstock. She smiled when she remembered what a grand adventure they'd had that weekend in 1969. Tears began to roll down her cheek, not knowing if they would ever have another adventure together. Duncan noticed that Amanda was no longer arguing and looked at her sitting again on the sofa, tears streaming down her cheeks. He felt his anger start to dissipate as he sat down beside her. Hesitantly, he put his arm around her, expecting her to jerk away. Instead, she leaned into his embrace. "We've got to find him," she said as she cried. "They'll kill him." "Don't worry, Amanda, we will," he told her as he rocked her. "We'll find him, I promise." Several minutes later, Amanda got her emotions under control and pulled away from Duncan. "Sorry about the outburst," she said she wiped away her tears. "Let me get dressed and we'll head over to Joe's, alright?" He nodded, "Amanda?" She stopped on her way to the bedroom and looked at him. "You love him, don't you?" "I have for most of my life." She saw Duncan's look of hurt on his face. "I'm really sorry, Mac, that I never told you, or that Methos had never told you, but then after a while, you would have wondered why we hadn't told you. I was a vicious circle." "Methos did tell me once, in his own special way," Duncan said, sadly smiling. "During the Kalas incident, he said that if I was gone, you would be free to date. I should have known." "No, we covered it well. Methos and I were never together while I was with you. I loved you, Duncan. Methos knew that." "But you also love him." "I'm the luckiest girl in the world for having found the both of you," Amanda said, and for the first time in a long while, smiled wide. "And I hope you don't think less of me if I say this but, Kate's not that bad." "Oh, she isn't, is she?" Duncan teased. "Why would I think less of you for saying that?" "I thought maybe you'd like me to continue being the spurned woman or something. I was at first, but I no longer have the strength." Duncan hugged Amanda and kissed her on the forehead. "I'm glad. I do want us all to be friends." "So, you'll help me find Methos?" "Of course, I will. You don't even have to ask. Methos has rode up his white horse for me several times, in case you haven't forgotten." Amanda happily wrapped her arms around the big lug and felt strength to accomplish getting her man back in one piece. The phone rang, and she paused to give Duncan a kiss on the cheek, then answered it. "I can't talk, but... you know," the voice said, then the line clicked. Amanda hung up and told Duncan, "Joe found out something. I gotta go." "What does he know?" "I don't know yet. Joe and Methos had a signal, if there was a chance that the phones could be tapped, to meet at the grounds behind the Library. I have to go meet him." "I'll go with you." Amanda looked at the photographs and the FED EX package on the sofa and saw that there was no return address. Duncan's address was printed out on a label. "I'm not sure that would be a good idea, Mac." Duncan regarded the envelope. "Could the Watchers have sent me these?" "If they have Methos, and know your history of cleaning up messes for others, they wouldn't want you involved. I would assume... that the purpose of these photos were to get you so mad you'd write us off." Duncan smiled. "Then they won't have to know, will they? Find out what Joe knows, and we'll meet at the News Stop at Northbridge Mall and you can tell me all about it." "Maybe we shouldn't be seen together anymore." "Amanda, Amanda, Amanda. Have you forgotten all the ruses we've done for the benefit of others? We can put on a show for any prying eyes, after you've filled me on what Joe knows." "Three o'clock, Highlander. The News Stop. Be there, or be square." ~~~~~ Joe was lurking on the grounds looking up at the granite pillars of the Library when Amanda made her presence known to him. They didn't stand close, or even look at each other; instead, she sat on a bench and took out her makeup and compact mirror as Joe filled her in, slowly pacing behind her. "I don't have solid proof, but I did a search of Geoffrey's watcher's whereabouts since you took his head," Joe whispered just loud enough for her to hear. "Her name is Beth Merriweather, and she hasn't been reassigned yet." "That's the big news? What do I care?" Amanda moved her mirror so she could see Joe's face over her shoulder. "According to her expense account, she's been traveling. To Chicago, then back here to Seacouver." "So, she lives here. Does she?" "Nope. She lives in Montreal, where Geoffrey's been living the past five years." "Well, I didn't have a chance to catch up with him before I took his head," Amanda said flippantly. "She was the one who figured Methos out." Amanda chilled when she remembered not taking any precautions about calling him by name as they left the scene. She had to put her head down and breathe deep to stop from crying or collapsing. Methos' capture was her fault. "It wasn't your fault," Joe said, knowing what she could have been thinking. "They won't kill him." "How do you know, on both counts?" Amanda didn't care about the volume of her words. "So, he's been in Seacouver all along?" "More than likely." "That's all I need to know, except for where he's being kept. Can you find out?" "You're not going off half cocked and without a plan." "I can plan fast and half cocked will serve me well, Joe." Amanda slammed her things back in her purse and stood up. "The address..." Joe said over his shoulder, "I don't think they'd be holding him at Watcher Headquarters, but he could be in the new Annex." "An Annex? The Watchers have so much paperwork that they need an Annex?" Joe shrugged. "That could be the place to start." "Where is it?" "The new warehouse along the waterfront. I'm not quite sure what all is supposed to be in the building, but if I was going to hide something important, I'd use the least likely spot I could find." ~~~~~ Duncan watched Amanda's still face as she held his hand in the living room of the cabin. Methos had been quiet for so long, Duncan was thinking that Cassandra was going to give up making him think things through and put them in their proper perspective. He had himself been under the influence of Cassandra's voice, and wondered if Methos would allow himself to listen to her. She was a wise woman and he was so happy that she hadn't turned her back on them, as she had every right to. Amanda squeezed his hand and said quietly, "I've been thinking about how we all ended up here. That was a good show at the New Stop." She smiled as Duncan also remembered the ruse they had pulled to make sure that the Watchers didn't know they were on to them. ~~~~~ Duncan browsed the selection of newspapers and magazines while he waited for Amanda's arrival. He could well imagine the headlines if the Watcher's decided to go public with his capture, but they had as much to lose as immortals if that were to happen. The Watcher's had tried to put him in Sanctuary; thankfully, Joe and Methos had been there to save him. This time he'd return the favor and get Methos out of their hands. He shuddered to think what they would do with legendary Methos. He picked up a Seacouver Herald and the latest issue of Cosmo for Kate. The clerk rang up his purchases as he headed out of the shop. Amanda watched from two shops down and headed in his direction when he came out of the newsstand. She hurried over to him and quietly said, "We've only got about five minutes. If I start a fight, just play along." Duncan laughed. "That shouldn't be a problem." "Everyone's a comedian today," Amanda rolled her eyes. "Anyhoo, I just talked to Joe&ldots;" "And?" Duncan broke in. "Quit interrupting me, for Pete's sake."  "Sorry." "As I was saying, I just talked to Joe and it appears the Watcher's do in fact have Methos. Joe seems to think he's being held at the new warehouse on the waterfront." "Ok, that makes this a little easier," Duncan paused. "Tell you what, ditch your Watcher and book a flight to...," he said as he shrugged. "Portugal, I don't know, anywhere but here. Leave your car at the airport. I want you to make it look like you were on the plane when it took off, alright?" "I am the Queen of ditching newbie Watchers," she said proudly. "I have confidence in your abilities," he smiled. "Then I want you to make tracks up to my cabin ASAP, use a disguise if you have to. We can make our plans there. I'll have Joe meet us there, also." Amanda nodded. "Head's up, my little friend just arrived." She had indicated a long red haired woman standing at a snack bar buying a beverage. Amanda took a deep breath and channeled all of her anger at Methos' capture. "For crying out loud, MacLeod, would you quit stalking me?" Her purse suddenly made contact with Duncan's shoulder, taking him by surprise. "Not so hard, Amanda," he whispered, then yelled, "Oh, come on, Amanda, you're the one doing the stalking!" "Everywhere I go, I turn around and see your ugly mug," Amanda huffed. "Surely, that mealy mouthed wife yours has no idea you're trying to seduce me." "Seduce you? Have you lost what little mind you have?" Duncan glowered at her. "I'm twice the woman she is." "Actually, you're three times her age?" Amanda slapped him hard across the face. "Well, I never!" Duncan didn't like how she was playing along so much in picking this public spat. "Come on, Amanda, I bet you have," he leered at her. "In fact, I'm sure you have." Amanda stomped her foot and left in a huff. Three stores down she turned and yelled, "I hope I never see you again! Do you hear me, MacLeod?" "Never would be too soon!" he shouted back. "Women!" he growled, then walked the other way. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw that red head watcher standing agape with the plastic cup of soda in her hand, and she was unconsciously spilling it on the floor. ~~~~~ Duncan smiled as he remembered how they all had come here to plan how to break into the Annex to fetch their friend, and that there was now the added bonus of having to rescue the missing Joe. He looked at Joe, who was still focusing his attention on the three at the dining table, probably feeling terrible that Methos didn't think he would have cared, or worse yet, was on the Watchers' side. Duncan patted his shoulder and smiled to indicate that Methos was just mouthing off, getting it wrong once again. "Hey!" Methos yelled startling everyone. "Joe was there." Cassandra took a deep breath. "And?" "Joe! You found me!" Methos stood up from the table and smiled at the watcher. Joe nodded and gestured to Duncan and Amanda. "With a little help from my friends." "Why didn't you come in with guns blazing?" he asked puzzled. "The Watchers kidnapped me, too," Joe explained. "They took my gun, buddy, or I would have." "Bastards!!" Methos lost his enthusiasm and sank heavily back into his chair. "Why didn't I see them coming?" Amanda's heart broke at his question. It must have been his reaction when he was kidnapped in the first place. She was going to mention the parallel when Joe said, "Like you told me once," Joe consoled, "you're just a guy." "Just a guy with a memory like a jigsaw puzzle with a piece missing." "You're the only that can fit the pieces together, Methos." Cassandra looked to Kate and asked, "Could you get a pen and paper?" "What do you need that for?" "To keep score, so to speak," Cassandra laughed softly.  "Watchers, one, Methos, zip," Methos said angrily. "You still have your sense of humor, that can go along way in dealing with this," Cassandra said as she took the pad of paper from Kate with a smile. "Thanks." "I wish I was joking." Methos looked to her. "Now what?" "Let's try this, ok? Tell met the first thing that comes to mind when I say a word." Methos chuckled, knowing the Word Association test well. He nodded and cracked his knuckles to ready himself. "First word: memory." "Time," he answered. "Friend." "Joe." "Immortality." "Pain." "Pain? Anything else?" Cassandra asked. "Pleasure," Methos added, in an asking tone. What did she want from me? They're my responses, not hers. "Water." "Amanda. I love it when she's wet. This is fun. It's like Twenty Questions." Cassandra looked up from writing on the paper and said, "Humor me alright? Sky." Methos sighed and replied, "Quickening." "Longevity." "Fear." "Love." There was a long pause, and Amanda had expected him to say her own name, but Methos said, "Alexa." Cassandra made herself more comfortable in her chair while continuing to write his replies on the paper. "Duty." "Commitment." "Sword."  "Survival." "Need." "Guinness." "Gold." "Comfort." Cassandra paused. This was her last word: "Methos." "That's a loaded question," he said dejectedly, although he didn't know why. Even though his mind was mush, and if he put his mind to it, he could still feel the invasion on his body by the Watchers, he still had pride for who he was. "One that requires an answer," Cassandra said simply. "I don't want to play this game," Methos stated. "You're not sure of yourself? You don't know how to classify yourself?" Cassandra asked rapidly. "You don't know yourself?" "I have been many things, Cassandra." "Ah, we get to the heart of the matter at long last," Cassandra smiled, pleased. "Are you proud of that?" "Proud of what? I'm confused enough without all these questions." "Have you been many things to protect yourself? Because you were bored and need a change? Because you were able? "I do what I need to in order to survive." Methos was unapologetic. "Let's talk about just one of those selves, shall we?" "This should be fun," Methos grimaced. "Let's not and say we did." Cassandra saw Methos begin to get antsy and squirm in his chair. "What were you doing in - ," she paused for effect, "say... 1927?" "I was in Greece with-" Methos tried to think. "Damn&ldots; who was I with?" His confusion was evident and he looked around trying to remember seeing Amanda's face he remembered. "Amanda! I was in Greece with Amanda! We drank; we danced. Remember that, Amanda?" "Is that true?" Cassandra asked Amanda who had ventured closer to the table. Amanda sadly shook her head. "Where were you, Amanda? Methos seems to think he was with you." Methos bolted out of his chair to defend her from a barrage of questions that he didn't think Amanda should have to reveal the answers to. Why? He didn't know. But there was something there he couldn't put his finger on. "Why are you asking her? We were in Greece." Amanda appreciated Methos' protection but sat him back down at the table and informed Cassandra, "I was with Methos, but we were in New York. Why did you pick that year?" "It's just a year," Cassandra said, shrugging. "Bull shit! A rather eventful year." "Well, Methos mentioned it last night," Cassandra confessed. "But I couldn't tell what the significance was." "We were both in New York," was all that Amanda said. "New York? Are you sure, Amanda?" Methos was still trying to place the memory correctly. "In 1927?" "That is a year I won't forget, I promise," Amanda said. Cassandra probed, "What happened in new York, Methos?" "New York?" Methos rubbed his head in frustration and slammed his fist on the table. "I don't remember." Amanda stood behind him and rubbed his shoulders. "The tiara, Methos." "The tiara?" Suddenly a light bulb went off for Methos. He laughed and gladly told Cassandra, "She stole the damn thing, against my sage advice not to." "I didn't get to steal it." Amanda prodded, "The train&ldots;" "The tiara wasn't on a train." Methos felt a memory tickle at his brain, and against his base impulse, he didn't try to quiet it. It let it come back to life in front of him. "Yes, the train," Methos remembered. "I told you." "Couldn't you have picked a different year out of the hat, Cass?" Amanda asked. "We have to start somewhere," she reasoned.  Methos glared up at Amanda. "That's the year I told you about the Horsemen and you wouldn't talk to me." "You jumped off the train to get away from me, and then I was in jail, damn it!" Amanda exclaimed. "It was a shock." "You told her about the horsemen in 1927?" Both Methos and Amanda shouted, "Yes!" "Why did you tell her, Methos?" Cassandra asked.  "I felt that she deserved to know," Methos said. "Why she needed to know is none of your business." "Where you in the habit of telling people about that?" He responded, "No!!" and waited for her to write that on that damn piece of paper. Amanda's steady hand was the only thing that kept Methos seated. After he calmed down, he spoke. "It's not exactly dinner conversation, Cass. 'Could you please pass the pate? By the way, I'm responsible for butchering thousands'." "Methos!" Amanda interrupted him. "Stop it! She's trying to help you!" "So I was a monster three thousand years ago, don't you think I know that!?" Methos yelled. "I can't forget that! And you know what?" He looked Cassandra straight in the eye and said, "It's better that I don't forget!! Woe, to the world if I ever forget what a monster I was." He stood up and paced the dining area. It dawned on Cassandra the truth of his words. What would have happened if Methos had forgotten when Kronos had rode back into their lives? Kronos was all brute force with little skill for strategy, but with Methos' cunning mind, the Horsemen would have been a force to be reckoned with. With Methos' help, Duncan was sucked into the matter, and the Horsemen were ended forever. "You have changed, haven't you?" Wonder filled Cassandra's voice at it finally hit home. "Death truly no longer exists." "I've tried to tell you that," Methos stopped his pacing, "but my word wasn't good enough for you." He looked at Duncan and Joe. "And it wasn't good enough for either of you, was it? You were ready to write me off because of something I did before your ancestors were born." He let his head fall back and sighed deeply. "Everyone is so willing to dissect my horrors and pass judgment. How closely would you like your own pasts examined? Would they hold up to the standards you gauge me by?" Methos shook his head when he saw the shame written on their faces. "When you can answer that, come find me!" He walked away from them. "Methos!" Amanda grabbed his hand as he paced by her. "Don't leave." Methos stopped and tenderly said, "Darling Amanda, the only person to ever accept me no questions, no conditions. You are a treasure to me. A thief, but yet you're the most honest person I know. You took my confession and dealt with it and accepted it." "It took me a while," Amanda reminded him. Tears that had threatened to fall when things had become things had gotten emotional spilled down her cheeks. "Remember?" Methos' smile was tender as he wiped the tears from her face. "Yes, it did, but you were honest and you didn't pass judgment. I was still Methos, your friend and your lover. You didn't let the past make you forget who I was to you." Amanda smiled up to him. "I knew, and still know, that you are so much more that, Methos." "And that is why I treasure your friendship, minx," he told her. "You are the truest friend I've ever known." Amanda wholeheartedly agreed and said, "You can always trust me, Methos." Methos nodded as he laid his head against hers and wrapped his arms around her. "So trust me now," she told him gently. "What?" "Sit back at that table and talk to Cassandra. You're memories are wrong, Methos, and we're going to get them straightened out. The longer we wait, the harder it might be to reorganize them, so sit, and don't get angry, like you're apt to do." Methos regarded the rest of them. They were all staring, Joe and Duncan now standing in the doorway of the dining room. "Okay. Fine," he said, as he dutifully sat back in his chair. Amanda ushered Duncan and Joe back into the living room and took a seat on a footstool with a clear view to the three in the kitchen. She could see the paper Cassandra had taken notes from and asked her, "May I see what you have so far?" Cassandra passed her the paper. After scanning it, Amanda said, confused, "You weren't taking notes, Cassandra." She looked at what Cassandra had written, "Time, Joe, Pain-Pleasure, Amanda, Quickening, Fear, Alexa, Commitment, Survival, Guinness, Comfort, No Answer." "What is this all about?" she asked Cassandra, who looked confused also.  Cassandra answered, "I have a wonderful friend who is a psychologist. He's who I got the idea from. He told me once that with the Word Association Test, the answers have little to do with the words asked, but rather have everything to do with the relationship of all the answers given. Can you see any correlation there?" All Amanda could see was "Alexa". Fear and Commitment were on either side of her name. Methos had gone into his relationship with Alexa knowing that she would die. Methos had committed to her, and he had feared her death. Amanda found that interesting. She looked at the words around her own name, "Quickening" and either "Pain" or "Pleasure". Amanda chose the latter. Quickening could very well have meant when Amanda had taken Geoffrey's head, which was when they got back together for the last time. Cassandra motioned to get the paper back and scanned it herself, Amanda assumed, before she would start in again with Methos. "Are we going to finish this or what?" Methos asked. "If not--" "Yes!" Amanda and Cassandra were in unison.  "Well, if I have to spill my guts at least I should be able have a beer or three," Methos asserted. "Besides, I'm getting hungry." "I'm not sure beer would be a good idea," Cassandra protested. "What?" Methos laughed sarcastically. "Like it's going to muddle my brain?" Amanda broke in before an argument could erupt. "Sure, Methos, that's a good idea. Let's go in the kitchen and get you something to eat." Methos followed her into the kitchen leaving the others to ponder what he had said just a few minutes earlier. "I didn't realize Methos felt that way," Joe said. "He's usually so thick skinned." Duncan shifted uncomfortably. "He's probably just mixed up, Joe." "Nah, I think this is letting him say things he'd normally just keep quiet about," Joe argued. "I have to agree with Joe on this, Duncan," Cassandra stood up and stretched. She joined the others in the living room. "The walls he's erected over the years have shifted and crumbled in places, I think he needs to rebuild and shore them up. This explains his lack of inhibitions in saying things." "The old man is tight lipped about most things concerning his past." Duncan moved over so Cassandra could sit beside him. "And when he does, you never know if his telling the truth or not." "Of course, he does have good reason to, I guess," Joe looked at Duncan. "Seems like, at least according to him, we haven't been too open minded." "Doesn't seem to bother him to share stuff with Amanda," Duncan muttered. "That bothers you, doesn't it?" Cassandra questioned. "Why?" "I don't know why, but you're right, it does," Duncan allowed. "I should be happy for them." Joe cleared his throat and nodded to the couple bustling around the kitchen. "It is weird seeing them in a romantic perspective, but you know after seeing them together, I don't see why we didn't suspect something before. Amanda just about glows around him and he never shows that much affection to anyone." "I don't want to think about what we would've done if Amanda hadn't been here to calm him down," Kate put in. Cassandra nodded. "She does seem to have quite an effect on him." She couldn't stop looking at the words on the paper though. If her friend was correct by how he had explained the concept of the test to her, what she had seen and what she saw on the paper now were two very different things. Continued in Part Nine