THE YOU'RE IN MY HEART SERIES HELTER SKELTER Part Five By Susan and JoLayne RATING: PG-15 CHARACTERS: Methos, Amanda, Duncan, Kate, Joe, Cassandra, various Watchers SUMMARY: A month after Won't Get Fooled Again, Geoffrey's watcher figures out that Methos is not a myth, and very much alive. Methos is kidnapped; his mind and body are studied. NOTE: Thanks MnD, you rock, girl! DISCLAIMER: The characters you've heard of are the property of Panzer/Davis and/or Greg Widen. We're deeply in their debt for creating this universe, characters and the concept of immortality. However, the muses are in overdrive so we're using them with no hope of profit, only to entertain Methos and Amanda fans. Part Four DUNCAN'S CABIN - LATER THAT AFTERNOON Amanda couldn't believe the silence. Since they had arrived at the cabin it had been peaks and valleys in the decibel level. Duncan had channel surfed and Methos insisted that the TV remain on an I Love Lucy, with the sound off. When she had asked him why, he said, "Lucy's a slapstick comedian. I've seen this episode in every language and it's best silent." Amanda was happy that he remembered he had not only known all the languages on earth, but that he had remembered watching this episode. Or it was just that the noise agitated him. Methos suddenly sprang to his feet and looked out the window. Duncan and Amanda both watched him instead of the TV, to be ready for any response he might have. But Methos just stood there. Joe sat in the kitchen typing on his laptop that was plugged into the phone line. He didn't want to use his cell phone as a modem connection, as the Watchers may be able to track the signal. He had been careful not to be online with the database too long since they had arrived at Duncan's cabin. An egg timer was sitting next to him ticking down the time Joe felt was safe. Joe's eyes flicked to it to see that he had two more minutes. He'd have to work fast. There was a memo he was able to find indicating that Beth Merriweather had been released. No charges had been filed against her and Joe hadn't had luck finding out where she was assigned. The three immortals walked into the kitchen and Duncan grabbed coats from the hooks by the door. "We're going to take a little walk, Joe," Duncan said, giving one of his coats to Methos. Joe didn't want to lose his time on line, but seeing Methos put his coat on, and Amanda and Duncan didn't seem too concerned, Joe had to ask, "For a walk? With him? Where?" "Just outside. I'm feeling antsy," Methos said, sounding like his old self. Joe chuckled. "Are you going to put a leash on him or something?" "I'm not a dog, Joe." Joe waved them off and went focused back on his laptop with only a minute more to go. "Have fun." Amanda petted his shoulder. "You don't want to come with?" She leaned down to whisper, "I'm thinking of starting a snowball fight. Methos might remember a great time." "He had a great time getting pelted by snowballs?" "He got in a few good hits." Amanda hopefully looked to Methos. "Do you remember?" Methos shrugged and opened the door. He cringed when the cold blast of air hit him. He pulled the collar up around his neck and shoved his hands in the pockets. "Gods, I hate the snow." He walked out to the porch and Amanda followed. "We can always go back to Bora Bora, or Jamaica, or Nice, Greece?" Joe only noticed that Methos didn't respond to Amanda's suggestions. Duncan was looking over his shoulder at the monitor. Joe said, "Go on." "Finding anything?" "Go!" The egg timer rang, but Joe's most recent search wasn't finished. Joe shut off the timer and gave the computer time to product a file, any file. Duncan shut off the laptop and shut the lid. "I thought it was important to stay under ten minutes, Joe." Joe sat back in the chair. "I know. Beth is out." "Beth?" "I told you about her. Geoffrey's watcher who I got in trouble right before you all arrived. They just let her go." "The Watchers never did anything to help us," Duncan commented, then smiled. "Want to come with us?" "Are you crazy?" Joe said, rubbing his arms. "Keep the cold out there, I'm fine. I'll make a couple of phone calls." "Your loss," Duncan smile. "I think Methos is coming around. Maybe those injections are finally out of his system." He was almost out the door when he said, "Oh, Kate and Cassandra should be here soon. Have them honk, will you? I think Methos will want to end up at the shore, so we'll be able to hear." "Sure," Joe said, already dialing the phone. "Just go. It's cold!" After Duncan left, Joe held the phone to his ear and waited for Gayle to answer the phone. Their last phone conversation consisted of Joe lying to his manager about having been gone so unexpectedly. Joe had almost told her that it wasn't his choice, he was kidnapped by the Watchers, then his good friend needed to be kept safe and Joe honestly had no idea how long he'd be gone. "Joe's Bar," the manager's voice broke Joe's thoughts. "Hey, Gayle. How's it going?" "Joe? Joe, when are you getting back here? You remember I have my little sister's wedding this weekend, right? I'm matron of honor. I gotta be in Florida." "Yeah, I know. I'll try to be back. If I'm not, just lock up the place and put a "Gone Fishing" sign on the door. How are things there? Anything happening?" Joe trying not to sound desperate for information. "Lyman's sent the wrong liquor order. Mary Ann keeps getting to work late; you really should fire her." "Nah, she's going through stuff. Give her time. Did you call Lyman's to straighten it out? They're usually pretty good to deal with." "Just got off the phone with them." "Anything else?"  Joe was about ready to hang up from this dead end when Gayle said, "You have a couple of messages." "Oh?" "Yeah, your daughter called last night and some old school friend called this morning. She had a pretty sexy voice, Joe. Maybe she's single." Gayle always had tried to set Joe up since she started working at the bar six months before. "Did she give a name?" "No, only that she's only in town for a little while and would try back later in the week." "Hm. Anything else?" "Nope, except I have to fly to Florida on Friday night." "You go and have fun. I'll be home before then, or I'll call. As I said, if I'm not there, lock up the place tight." "What's going on, Joe?" "Nothing just need some time off to settle some things," Joe told her truthfully. "I'll keep in touch. Talk to you later." Joe stood up and stretched. When this was all over he was going to take a nice long vacation to somewhere warm, maybe Bora Bora. In the past Methos had insisted over and over how nice the place was, but perhaps that was because of the company he kept while he was there. He looked at his watch and decided he would enjoy the peace and quiet while he could. Kate and Cassandra would be here within the hour and there was no telling how that would go over with everyone involved. He bustled around the kitchen and started some coffee. This had the potential to be a long night. His stomach growled reminding him he hadn't eaten in a while. Kate promised she'd bring some supplies back when she returned. Hopefully, that included some junk food and beer. He searched through the cabinets and found the fixings for chili. A hunt in the freezer yielded some frozen hamburger. With a little effort, he could make a nice stick to the ribs meal. Comfort food. They all needed a little comfort right now. ~~~~~ Methos' long legged stride kept him a comfortable distance ahead of Amanda and Duncan, who trailed along behind him. He was tired and anxious from trying to keep the kaleidoscope of memories from collapsing on him yet again. The frigid wind blowing against his face helped to clear some of fogginess from his brain. The harder the wind blew, the more the fog lifted. Methos' feet began to carry him faster. Soon he was in a jog, which quickly turned into an all out run. The only thing that kept him from falling in the ankle deep snow was the aggressive tread of his hiking boots. "Duncan, stop him!" Amanda yelled. "He's trying to run away from us!" Duncan grabbed her arm before she could run after the fleeing immortal. "Let him run, Amanda. There's no way for him to get off the island. The ferry is on the mainland at this time of day." "Are you sure about that?" Amanda questioned. "He's good at escaping."  "The only way he can leave is by swimming," Duncan reasoned. "And if he hates the snow, imagine how much he'd detest ice cold water." Amanda considered Duncan's observation. "Ok, so you're right. This time." Duncan laughed. "It does happen occasionally, Amanda." Duncan looked ahead of them, and commented, "He is running far. Guess we'd better try to catch up with him before he gets lost." They found Methos by the edge of the bay. He was bent over with his hands on his knees, his breath coming in ragged sobs and coughs. Amanda rubbed her hand up and down his back offering the comfort of her touch. Methos' breathing finally evened out as he righted himself. "I can't take much more of this," he told Amanda honestly. "It's getting harder and harder to remember who I am." "You will beat this, Methos," Amanda assured him. "Why? Because you say so?" Methos' voice was bitter. "The world doesn't revolve around you." "It doesn't? Well, guess what? It doesn't revolve around you, either," Amanda reminded him. "You've survived this long, Methos, and you will continue to do so." "I wish I shared your confidence." Methos shoved his cold hands into the pockets of his coat. "The follies of youth." Duncan stood beside his friend. "She's right, Methos. You are the cagiest, toughest, smartest bastard I've ever had the pleasure of knowing." "Gee, Highlander, I never figured you as the cheerleader sort," Methos turned to look at MacLeod. "You better be sure I'm worthy of your praise." "You are, my friend," Duncan told him. "You're one of my best friends, in fact." Methos looked at the honest face of the Highlander. MacLeod was an open book. Everything he felt showed through those chocolate brown eyes. Those same eyes had once looked upon him with loathing and contempt when Mac had found that his past was less than perfect. Kronos and Cassandra had erected a wall between them. Time was the healing factor in their relationship, but Methos always wondered how solid their friendship really was, if something else from his past surfaced could crumble it again. "That's nice to know, I think," Methos replied.  He watched the water swirl by, carrying debris along. Fascinated, he crept closer to the edge of the shoreline. He noticed that the heavier pieces sank to the bottom, while the lighter pieces bobbed as they raced to some unknown destination. "Methos?" Amanda asked as she pulled him back from the edge. "I've drowned before," Methos said to no one in particular. "The water burns your lungs and your heart races. I hate drowning." "Then stay away from the water," she told him. She just watched him for a moment, and then said, "Do you know who you are?" "I am Methos," he said darkly. "I am the oldest man. I also have the most confused mind. I don't like being like this. And I don't like you seeing it. Any of you seeing it. I haven't been too... you know. Have I?" "You've handled it well. Don't worry about it." "I have to. Worry is all I can do right now! Nothing makes sense. I'm not even sure how I got here, let alone why I'm here, how long I'm here, what will happen tomorrow, or even in an hour for that matter. Do you know how long it's been since I've felt this way? I hate it." Methos looked behind Amanda to see Duncan, and shut off what more he was going to say. Amanda could see his cheeks were red, and took his bare hand in her gloved one. "You're cold. Why don't we go back to the cabin now?" "Ok," he replied and let her lead him back.  They were almost halfway back to the cabin when the sound of a car horn echoed loudly in the chilly silence. Duncan and Amanda's eyes met and they knew what that noise signaled. Kate and Cassandra had arrived. Methos was lost in his own thoughts and didn't seem to be paying much attention to them. Once they got with sight of the cabin, Methos' head snapped up as he felt the presence of at least one immortal. "Expecting company, MacLeod?" Methos asked warily. "Kate's back," Duncan said. "Remember she left yesterday." "Oh, right," Methos agreed, not really remembering. "I hope she brought some more beer." Amanda giggled. "It was on her list." They trudged up the stairs to the porch stomping to get the snow off their boots. Duncan made sure he was the first one through the door. Amanda followed along close behind him. Methos straggled in behind them paying more attention to the snow remaining on his boots than who was in the cabin. The shout of a female voice broke him out of his reverie. "What in the hell is he doing here?" Cassandra shouted as she started forward to confront her former master. Methos looked up from his investigation of his boots. "Cassandra?" He was shocked to see his nemesis standing before him. He did his best to shove down the urge to run. So, she had arrived. He vaguely remembered Amanda and Duncan talking about her coming here. "Anyone hungry?" Joe asked as he stirred the chili. "Is that chili I smell?" Methos asked, ignoring all and walking into the kitchen. "Methos, you're tracking snow all over the floor." Amanda chastised him as she was taking off her own boots and eyed Cassandra out the corner of her eye. Methos pleasantly asked Kate, standing still by the table, "Did you pick up some beer?" "Yes." Kate looked as if she could jump out of her skin. Duncan walked over and put his arm around her. Methos lowered the lip of the brown paper bag to see Budweiser. He glared at Kate. "No Guinness?" She instantly said, "It was all they had in bottles." "Beer and chili... well, you're going to be a joy to sleep with tonight," Amanda said, hoping to get a good reaction from Methos. She didn't. Amanda hovered by the kitchen door looking at the people in it, knowing that Cassandra was alone and pretty much confused in the living room. She walked to Cassandra and offered her hand. "Hello, Cassandra. I'm Amanda." "You're a friend of Duncan's, sure. I heard about you." "As I, you." After the handshake, Amanda fidgeted with a fake smile on her face, wondering how this was all going to go. Cassandra said, "Okay, enough. It's not like I don't have things to do in my life. I dropped everything because she told me Duncan was a trouble. What's going on here?" Methos sauntered in with a warm beer in his hand and sprawled on the armchair. Duncan and Kate hovered by the kitchen door, and Joe... well, he wasn't going to let this opportunity go by without a front row seat. He walked to the couch and sat down. "How are you doing, Cassandra? Long time no see. Did you get your bags put in the bedroom?" "I'm fine, Joe. What's going on here?" Cassandra had control of the room, but wasn't comfortable in it. "Are you in trouble, Duncan? And if you are, I'm sure he has something to do with it," she waved her hand in the direction of the sprawled one. All eyes went on Methos. He shrugged. "Why me? What did I do? Lately?" Cassandra sighed and said, "Well, Duncan. You look fine. Kate, thanks for the company. Amanda, nice to finally meet you. Joe, keep in touch." She headed for the bedroom where she had put her bag when Methos stood and stopped her. "No 'nice to see' me?" "Funny," Cassandra said, but matched his smile anyway. "It's... interesting... to see you again." "Oh, why's that?" "Because you mean nothing to me. I'm not happy, I'm not mad. I just don't know why I'm here," she said matter-of-factly. She kept a tight rein on her emotions; she wasn't about to let him see how much she was unnerved by his presence. "I think I do." Cassandra yanked her arm away and said, "Don't you touch me." "Oh, and I mean nothing to you?" Methos chuckled as he stepped back proudly.  Duncan walked forward. "Cassandra, I'm sorry to not tell you the reason why you can help us on the phone but I honestly didn't think you'd come if I had." "It is about him, isn't it?' Cassandra once indicated the man sprawled once again in the chair. "What did you do now?" "I'm not sure," Methos truthfully said. "He didn't do anything," Amanda finally joined the conversation. "Something was done to him, something any one of us immortals would kill if they did it to us." Methos threw his beer bottle across the room; it smashed against the TV set making history of both the television and the rest of his beer. He didn't care. "Don't talk about this in such grand terms, luv," he pointedly said to her. "I have no earthly idea why you thought she could do anything. Is this a game you're all playing? Hm?" Everyone in the room was ready to argue, but none verbalized a thought. Methos chuckled. "You're an experiment Cassandra. If I were you, I'd get my things and get the hell out of here." "Methos, she's not--," Duncan said. "The last thing I need right now is someone lying to me. I have enough trouble deciphering what's real and what's not in the first place. I don't need blatant lies added to the mix." Methos moved Cassandra front and center for the viewing audience. Then he held his hands up so all could see them. "I forgot; I can't touch you. Well, old habits die-hard. No, Cassandra. You were brought here so that they could get your reaction to me. What was it again? I mean nothing to you? Oh, that's wonderful. Because you mean a lot to me and always will. I think." He looked at Duncan, Kate and Amanda who were all looking dysphoric. Joe, on the other hand, was slowly shaking his head, with a smile. Joe was an enigma to Methos at that moment, so he ignored him. "I am the guinea pig here, Cassandra. Not the pig, the guinea pig. They wanted to see my reaction to you." "I'm getting my things," Cassandra walked to the bedroom. Methos grabbed her arm and twisted it behind her back. Duncan immediately ran interference. "Back off MacLeod!" Methos boomed. He swung Cassandra around so the others could see her discomfort. "Is this what you wanted to see? Am I fulfilling your little fantasy? Should we reenact the past!?" He seethed into Cassandra's ear, "You lied to me, you bitch!" Duncan got her out of Methos' grasp as he laughed. "You lied, but I understood. You would have felt cheap and dirty if you would have told me the truth in that tank." "And who put me there?!" Cassandra fought past Duncan to scratch Methos' eyes out. He stood still and motioned for her to come closer. Joe finally stood up and said, "You've had enough fun, Methos. Cassandra, we're awfully sorry for this. We should have prepared more. But you were right, Methos." "I'm always right." "You are the guinea pig. Whatever it takes to put those marbles of yours back into the correct position, we'll do it and I think I speak for everyone here when I say we're proud of that. You would be too if you weren't so self-involved at the moment." Methos spun around to face the only mortal. "Self involved?" He threw his back and laughed long and hard. "I can't even remember who and where I am half the time." Amanda started to come towards him and comfort him. "NO!" Methos held his hand out to stop her. "You can't make this better, Amanda, so don't even try!" He raced for the bedroom he'd been occupying, slamming the door so violently the windows in the living room rattled. The next sound they heard was the lock sliding into place and then a moment later the heavy sound of a piece of furniture being moved across the floor. Amanda hung her head and walked over to the door of the bedroom and tried the knob, but wasn't able to gain entry. "Methos, let me in, please," Amanda urged. "I want to talk to you." "Go away, Amanda!" he yelled as he paced the small room. "Just leave me the hell alone!" Duncan pulled a protesting Amanda back into the living room. "Let him be." Amanda settled back onto the couch and rested her head on Joe's shoulder. One minute Methos seemed fine and the next he was a stranger. She looked imploringly at Cassandra. She was their only hope. Cassandra saw the same looks on the others faces. "So, what the hell is going on here?" "Welcome to Casa Chaos," Joe said with a humorless grin. Duncan took her hand and led her to a chair. "Maybe we should explain this whole nasty situation." "It better be one heck of an explanation or I'm out of here," Cassandra said, not in the mood to quibble. For a moment Duncan felt like the thirteen year old he was when he first met her Donan Woods. "Well, you see, it's like this-" Cassandra interrupted him, "Just cut to the chase and tell me why I'm here?" Before he could respond, Amanda broke in. "Methos isn't himself." "Really, I couldn't tell. He's acting like the Methos I've known," Cassandra replied. "Although a bit immature." Amanda took a deep breath. There was no point in arguing about Cassandra's violent past with Methos; it wouldn't help matters now anyway. She said, "The Watcher's found out about him and they kidnapped him." "The irony of it," Cassandra smirked. "Please, let me finish and I swear you can say whatever you want." Amanda waited for Cassandra to agree with her deal. After Cassandra nodded, she continued, "They knew he was immortal and they knew he was Methos. They did all sorts of experiments on him and tried to get his chronicles corrected." "They raped his mind," Joe spoke up from his chair. "I was there. I saw it first hand." Cassandra started to say something, but Duncan stopped her. "He's been reliving memories, Cassandra. Some of them weren't very pleasant. I know there's no love lost between you two, but what if they had done that to any other immortal? You would be ready to help, wouldn't you?" "Look, I know you don't owe me anything, but - " Amanda's voice quivered. "Methos is the best friend I've ever had and I can't let him stay like this." "How do I fit into this?" Cassandra asked. "I mean, I'm sorry about this, but what do you expect me to do?" "Your Voice might help," Duncan began. "I was thinking it might work long enough to get the memories settled in or... something." "Methos is the oldest of us. I tried to use it on Kronos, but he wasn't susceptible to its influence," Cassandra told them as she relaxed in her chair. "What makes you think he'd be open to it?" "He's not exactly in his right mind right now," Amanda offered. "Would that help?" "Honestly, I don't know," Cassandra said. "I might have more luck if he would cooperate with me." "You'll help?" Duncan asked, genuinely happy with her turn of phrase.  "Yes," Cassandra sighed. "I will do it for you, Duncan, because even though I have no love for the man, what the Watchers did to him is reprehensible." "Thank you, Cassandra," Amanda said gratefully. "I owe you big time." "We should eat while things are quiet," Joe said as he got to his feet. Cassandra gave him an odd stare. "You think I was joking about this being Casa Chaos?" "I want to check on Methos first," Amanda said. "You guys go on, I'll be in there in a minute." Duncan nudged Kate and Cassandra to the kitchen. "Hurry up. We need to make some plans." Amanda put her ear up to the bedroom and listened before she knocked. The sound of pacing and muttering greeted her ears. Not being able to make out what he was saying, she asked, "Methos? You hungry?" She heard the moving of furniture, the click of the lock, and he opened the door. "Famished. What is being served?" Amanda smiled and wrapped her arms around Methos. "You decided that you need us instead of slamming the bedroom door behind you like a spoiled brat?" Methos took her hands away and said, "No. I'm hungry. You said before that I have to eat when others do or I don't eat at all. Although, I would like to eat in my room." At the door to the kitchen, he turned back to Amanda. "Is there anything in there you need? I'd like to be alone tonight." "Don't be a pill," Amanda groused as she walked by him and took a seat at the table. "I mean it, luv," Methos took the empty chair next to Cassandra. He looked at her with a smile. "Nice planning, Cassandra." "What?" "You wanted to sit next to me." Cassandra smiled to Duncan. "Yes, Methos. That was my plan," she said dripping with sarcasm. Methos grabbed the bowl of chili that was handed out to him and smelled it. He set it on the table before him and shoved a piece of bread into it and chewed. There was silence as everyone ate and passed, then Methos broke the silence with, "But you did lie, Cassandra." "Not this again. Didn't we beat this like a dead horse in the other room?" Amanda said, "He's like a dog with a bone at times." "Shut up!" Methos yelled at Amanda and pointed at Cassandra beside him. "This is between her and me. You brought her here." Amanda argued, "No, you've been talking long enough." Methos shook his head and smiled, but kept eating. "I've only just started." "I'm trying to eat here, Methos," Cassandra said.  "Yes, nice chow, Joe," Methos observed. "Not too spicy, just right."  Joe smiled. "Hey, I try." Methos started laughing, too much for them to think he was laughing at Joe's quip. Duncan asked, "Something's funny, Methos?" "I can about imagine how all this happened. MacLeod gets a plan in his head, he makes Amanda agree with him, which isn't an unusual occurrence, and then they called you." Methos focused on Cassandra again. "I can just hear your response, Methos is in trouble? Of course I'll come." "Don't flatter yourself. I came because of Duncan, not you." Methos muttered, "That's what you tell yourself." Duncan pointed out, "She didn't even know you were here, Methos." "But as soon as Cassandra saw me, she didn't leave, did she?" Methos scooted his chair a little closer to hers. Kate stood up and announced, "Duncan, this is getting a little weird." She walked farther into the kitchen and hovered by the coffeepot in the corner. Amanda said, "Did we expect anything else?" Methos yelled, "What did you all expect? You never answered me before." Cassandra shook her head and set her spoon down, shoving her bowl back. She took a sip of wine, and caught Methos' stare. "Just ignore him," she told the others. Methos said, "That never happened in camp, did it?" Cassandra moved her chair back. "No, but I got away." "Only because I allowed it to happen. I controlled you, I was your life." "You are a nasty piece of work. At least Kronos never tried to be anything he wasn't." "Kronos?!" Methos laughed hard. "I saved your little arse from Kronos. Remember, he was the one who turned you. I saved you." "No," Cassandra countered. "Duncan saved me. You didn't." Methos looked at the Highlander, sitting there silent but could tell he didn't at all like the proceedings. Methos wondered why he hadn't stopped them. Why any of them hadn't stopped this. "Duncan MacLeod of the clan MacLeod. The eternal knight on the white horse." Methos grabbed the glass of wine in front of Amanda and sipped. "I can't even count how many times I saved his arse. Or yours, Joe." Duncan smiled and slightly nodded. It wasn't a pleasant smile. Methos didn't like the superior attitude the other man was taking with him. Duncan said, "Yes, we all owe you, Methos." "You bet your life on it." Methos regarded Amanda as he set her glass back down. "I've never saved a prettier arse than yours, Amanda." "Why thank you, hun," Amanda said, but it came out chocked. She cleared her throat and said, "But really, why don't you just eat? You have to be starving." "Quit ordering me around! You place me here, and then there. I should be doing this, I can't do that. Stop it! I'm four times your age!" Methos fumed as he kicked at the table leg. "Did any of you ever thank me? No. Just piss on Methos unless he can help you." Joe asked, "What?" "You... you're the biggest hypocrite here!" "Say what?" "Only when it deals with MacLeod do you hop to action. When I need your help, you slam the laptop on my fingers. I had to figure out my own back doors. Thanks a lot, buddy. You even set me up to kill Walker for you!" "Hey! Are you forgetting who got you away from the watchers?" "Oh, the organization that you still belong to! Did you have advanced warning? Did you know what they were planning? Were you glad that I was back in town so the plan could go full steam ahead?" Amanda put her hand on Methos' arm. "Calm down, Methos. Joe is your friend, remember." He shook her off and fidgeted in his seat. "With friends like these..." Cassandra was staring at the table in shock. Methos went back to her. "But you're my oldest friend, aren't you, Cass? And all you want to do is stick a fork in my eye." "It's a good thing that we're having chili," she raised her spoon to him in a mock salute. "I killed my only friend to save your worthless neck, Cassandra," Methos said quietly. "Your only friend?" Cassandra thought back. "Silas, you mean?" "Silas," Methos plainly stated. "A man you hadn't seen in 2000 years? Maybe more? He was your only friend?" "Ties can last 2000 years. You hate me and you hadn't seen me in that long." "How could I not?" Methos slammed his fist on the table. "I used Silas. I killed him to save you!" "What kind of friend was he, Methos?" Cassandra asked, wanting to know. "Explain to me how friendly he was." "He was the only person in my life that didn't want anything from me. Just friendship. He didn't use me!" "Like you use everyone else?" "I did what I had to survive!" Cassandra applauded him. "How can you live with yourself? I'd really like to know," she said in a calming voice. "I know how I've lived. I'm curious, how can you even look in the mirror after what you did to me and countless others?" Duncan put his hand on Cassandra's and shook his head. "That's too much." Methos said quietly, "I look in the mirror and see me. I'm alive that's all that matters in the end." Amanda piped in, "This isn't helping him!" "I am Methos!" Even though he was agitated once again, Cassandra blazed on. "What does that even mean? Does that mean you're a cold-hearted bastard? A murderer? A rapist?" "Do you actually think that you were the first person ever to be a slave?" Methos countered. "Or the first person to be raped by your master?" Cassandra sat back stunned. "Tell me about it. I'd like to hear if our stories are similar." Amanda got up and quietly paced. If this was Cassandra's purpose, she wasn't too sure that she wanted him to go through this, or even hear it. Methos shouted, "You couldn't handle it, old girl!" Amanda wondered if she'd accidentally voiced her thought; she whirled around to see who was addressing, as he always did call Amanda 'old girl'. He was focused on Cassandra. "Where do you think I learned my master techniques?" Methos spit out. "Poor Cassandra, raped by bastard of a master," he mocked her. "Get over it! I did!" "You picked up a lot of methods, huh?" Cassandra asked like she was speaking to a child. Methos leaned close to her and said, "Some techniques I never even got the time to try on you." "I got the brunt of your teacher's work." "You leave my teacher out of this! Be quiet." Methos grabbed his head. "Everyone just be quiet." Cassandra kept on in a calm voice. "Was it over time that you learned to tie the perfect knot so your prey couldn't get free? Or sever a mortal's head? Or burn a tepee?" "Enough!! Enough!!" Methos continued holding his head in his hands. "I haven't even started!" Cassandra yelled, standing up, ready to throttle him, but Duncan put her into a basket hold. Duncan declared, "That is enough!" Cassandra wouldn't let it go and got out of Duncan's hold. She collected herself and decided to try a different tactic. "I know what you are but I wonder if you know anything about me. Now." Methos stood up and stretched, leaving his head hanging back. "I don't know you at all, Cassandra, but you know nothing of me, either." Amanda tenderly touched Methos and suggested, "Please, just sit down and finish eating." Methos sat back in his chair and spooned up a bite of chili. He softly announced, "I lied." "Big surprise," Cassandra stood behind him. "I'll be a sport, what exactly did you lie about?" "I know exactly who you are, Cassandra." Methos involuntarily flinched when she sat be side him. "You're the only survivor of the Horsemen." "A dubious honor at best." "You didn't hear me," Methos said, seemingly bucking up the courage to look at her. "The only survivor." "I heard every word." "Keep surviving. Cassandra." "Do you know why I survived? Because I saved myself. You were going to leave me to Kronos. If I hadn't killed him... Kronos was many things, but he was also careless when his libido was riled. If he hadn't made sure where his dagger was, I would have been raped and killed! You would have just let it happen." "Are you sure about that?" Cassandra chuckled. "Why? What would you have done?" "I could have stopped you, you know. Do you remember Farin, Corrine, what was that other woman's name, the other one you liked?" "Galen?" Cassandra asked, surprised Methos even remember their names, let alone that she was a friend to them. "They were all killed after you ran away," Methos told her, "just because you liked them." "By your hand? Be honest." "It was Kronos. He killed those three and the others, later, after we got a new stock of slaves. He even killed me. All because you left." "Bastard. You were all bastards. Why do you tell me this now? I was never a person to you. I was a possession." "Kronos would have taken your head if he knew I loved you," Methos rationalized. "I had to let him take you, as if you were nothing, to save your head." "And that makes you the hero? I begged for your help, and you let him drag me out by the hair." "If its any consolation, Kronos made my life hell after you escaped. Repeated killings aside, he was just plain irritable." Methos rose to leave again. "What are you doing now, Methos? Do you have a job? Where do you live?" Cassandra asked, to make him stay. She was a little embarrassed by her outbursts. "What are you rambling about?" "I'm here for a purpose. I suppose I should try to help." "This is so asinine! Like you really care. You're just trying to look good for the Highlander. You do realize he's married now, right? His wife is... where is the little woman?" Kate walked forward. "Are you talking about me perhaps? Why bring me into this?" Methos ignored her and told Cassandra, "Those things weren't just talk, they came from your core. Don't placate me, Cassandra." "Goddess, give me strength! What are you talking about now?" She asked the others at the table, who was a little stunned and drained. "Has he been like this all the time?" "Just since the testing," Joe said. Methos laughed. "Now that we've established that I'm the bad guy and always will be, did you sell your antique store?" Amanda looked at him strangely. Cassandra said, "Yes...how did you know?" "Did you get a good price?" Cassandra is puzzled and maybe a little creeped out. "Fair enough." "Good." Methos started eating again. Amanda looked around the table to see that everyone was as confused as she. "You've been spying on me?" "Yes," Methos simply stated. "Oh. Why?" "Because I wanted to." "Because you're interested in real estate?" "Not particularly." "Because you're sorry for all that you did?" "One of a thousand regrets. Ask MacLeod." "A thousand," Cassandra exclaimed. "Goddess. Tell me about your regrets." "I regret I'm here." Methos fell into a placated mood, staring sullenly at the floor. "You're thinking about what they did to you, aren't you?" "Which 'they' are you referring to?" Methos absently drummed his fingers on the table top. "The Watchers." "Ah. The latest in a long line of people who tried to take what they could from me." "You're right, Methos," Cassandra said, getting Methos' attention. "If there's one thing I know for sure about you, it's that you control your environment. How did they get you?" "Ok, now you're starting to piss me off." He didn't feel the need to talk to her about this. Cassandra looked straight into his eyes. She lowered her voice and tried to make herself less threatening, "How did it feel to be trapped, to have someone control every bodily function, to have someone control your deaths? If you talk about it, you'll feel better. I have a feeling you haven't talked about it." "You told her about what the Watchers did!?!" Methos was stunned. How dare they tell her that information? Duncan said, "Like she'd stay if we hadn't." "My life's an open book now?" "Don't close the book, Methos. What did it feel like?" Cassandra's voice was soothing, wrapping around him like a caress making him want to talk to her. Methos felt the power of her voice slide over him and he stood up and announced, "That's it." Cassandra grabbed his hand. She was surprised she had, it was the first time she had touched him since... She couldn't think about it. She needed an apology, and she was going to get it. "It is it. That's your problem. You have to face what happened." Methos was listening intently to what she was saying, then felt her power flow over him once again. "The voice, Cass, you'd think you would've gotten better with it by now!" She didn't need to know that she was having an effect over him. "Ok, just talk to me." "I didn't fall for it then, I'm certainly not falling for it now. I'm going to call it a night if that's all right with my wardens!" Methos was fighting the effects of her voice. He didn't need her help, not then and certainly not now. "What are you afraid of? What's the harm in talking?" "I'm afraid that if I continue talking to you, that I wouldn't be able to find my sword fast enough to take your bloody head!" "Would that make you feel better?" "It would go a long way toward making me feel better." The evil grin on his face made Cassandra back down. "Why have you spied on me? Why were you sitting next to me? Are you glad to see me? Do you have something to say to me?" "Hell at the rate this is going, I'd be taking my own damn head." Cassandra laughed and said, "I'm not sure many would stop you." Amanda said, "DUNCAN! Make her stop this." "Is this really helping? Leave it alone, Cassandra. He's not going to apologize," Duncan stated. "He started it, if I recall correctly," Cassandra reminded him. "Ah, that's mature," Methos said. Amanda snapped. "Yes, leave it alone. He's had enough. So have I." Joe shrugged. "And I thought I was the only one." Methos bowed to them all. "Glad to be an evening's entertainment, I shall now take my leave. Good night all. Try not to wake me." Amanda followed Methos to the bedroom, and he slammed the door shut before she could join him. She was going to knock, but that little confrontation in the kitchen had zapped all the energy from her body. She sat heavily on the floor, her legs refusing to hold her weight. Suddenly, the door opened and Methos looked down at her in the hallway. "I was expecting you." Amanda wiped away a tear and cleared her throat. "Nice to know I've become so predictable." "You are anything but predictable, " Methos smiled, and held out his hand. "You still surprise me at times, like when you don't take me up on my invitations." "I didn't hear you offer one." Methos' smile grew wider. "Fair enough. Will you join me for a few minutes?" "Only if you behave yourself." "I'm not in my right mind to take advantage of you at the moment and you don't want me to." "That's not what I meant, Methos." Amanda hesitated at the door. "Would you please come in for at least a minute? I have something to say and don't want those busybodies to hear." Methos calmly shut the door after she walked into the bedroom and grabbed her. "Methos?" she cautiously asked. He had to hold her. He whispered in her ear, "I'm sorry you heard those things. I don't know how that was supposed to help anyone." "It's ok. I know who you are and what you were. Mac and Joe only want to help you, too." "I'm not talking about MacLeod and Dawson. They've made up their minds about me. I'm talking about you." "Words can't change the fact that I love you." "I know you do and you're the only one I can count on to be loyal. Do you know all the while you were with MacLeod the last time, what that did to me?" "I never hid my involvement with Duncan." "I know. That's been our deal. You're loyal. You've never been unfaithful to a lover, but it killed me inside." "I had no idea." "You don't have an idea of many things!" "Stop it. Stay on one track please?" Methos let her go and walked to the window. "I think you should go now." "I want to be here with you." "I don't want you here tonight." Methos said, not looking at her. "I don't exactly have the best record with you right now." "You can't kill me permanently." "You think not," Methos gravely said. "You're missing my point, Amanda, I don't want to kill you at all. If I keep it up, I could kill your love." "You can't. I know you too well. I can't help it. I'm in love with you." The overwhelming sense of rage was beginning to creep over him once again. He clenched his hands to keep from hitting something or worse yet Amanda. He had to get her out of here. She didn't deserve to be the victim of his madness. "Why do I deserve that? Why do you love me? Love is just a word." "How could I not?" "Oh please. You're bubbly, delightful, smart, sexy. Who wouldn't love you?" "I can think of a few people." "They don't know you, obviously. They just want something from you. What do you want from me?" "The only thing I've ever wanted." "My love," Methos finished for her. "Paul McCartney's alive and well. But he doesn't have Linda. Love wasn't meant to last. Why do you think I tossed those coins at you?" His fast side track startled her for a second, but she caught up with him. Amanda smiled as she asked, "You remember that?" "I remember everything. There are things I'd certainly like to forget, but gods curse me, I remember it all." His fingernails dug into the tender flesh of the palms of his hands to stem the rush of memories. Through his pain, he told her, "I remember your torn, beige, really unflattering clothes. I imagined what you would look like with a gold necklace around your neck. That was when you got my attention. Now get out!" The force of his words startled Amanda. His eyes had taken on the faraway look she recognized from the previous few days. The look meant that his demons had come to torment him again. Unfortunately, she knew he had to deal with his own demons, but she was touched that he brought up their first encounter. He had never told her he remembered that. Amanda sighed and nodded. She touched his back when he still refused to look at her. She walked around him and kissed him on the cheek. She held his head next to hers as she said, "Courage." Methos let her hold him for a moment. "I'm afraid I'm all out of it." ~~~~~ KITCHEN "Now do you see why we need your help?" Duncan broke the silence that had settled over then since Methos' departure. "I wouldn't ask you to help if there was any other way." Cassandra rested her elbow on the table. "I'm not sure I can help you. I tried to use the Voice a couple of times, but he didn't seem affected by it." "What if he was just pretending like it didn't?" Joe asked. "I swear I saw him waver a time or two." "If he would just work with me, things wouldn't be so difficult," Cassandra drank her remaining wine and shook her head when Duncan offered to pour her some more. Right now she needed a clear head; seeing Methos was more than she bargained for. "So, what exactly did the Watchers do to him, Duncan?" "You'll have to ask Joe. He was the only one that saw him while he was in their custody." Everyone turned their attention to the only mortal. Joe absently toyed with his coffee cup. It was true he was the only one to see Methos while he was strapped to the table like a lab rat. Methos wasn't the only one having nightmares about his captivity. Joe cleared his throat. "Best I could tell, they were running all sorts of tests and experiments on him physically and mentally. I almost lost my dinner the first time I saw him strapped to that damn table. There wasn't an inch of his body that wasn't bloody or bruised. Machines and tubes were running all over him." "I see, but Methos is tougher than that," Cassandra reasoned. "Surely a little torture wouldn't create the monster you have now." "A little torture?" Joe asked dumbfounded. "You think that was child play?"  "I've survived worse by his hand, I'm sure." "Hold on a minute, lady," Joe's voice got louder as he talked. "You may hate him, but he is my friend. When they got all the information they needed about his body, they decided to go after his mind. They pumped him full of drugs over and over until whatever walls he'd built up came crashing down. Five thousand years of memories came crashing down on him in a matter of a couple of days. They raped his mind, Cassandra." Cassandra couldn't help but cringe at Joe's words. Methos was the only living reminder of her imprisonment by the Horsemen. Words couldn't describe the depth of her feelings for the man isolated in the other room. Hate, revulsion, anger, rage, but try as she might she couldn't feel joy or victory in what had been inflicted on him. Mortals had no right to do that to an immortal. For better or worse, immortals had their place in this world and a Game to play. They could police their own; mortals could not understand. "I'm sorry I said that, Joe," Cassandra apologized. "Methos doesn't exactly elicit warm, fuzzy feelings for me." "Of course, he doesn't," Kate spoke up. "Maybe I can see this all a little clearer because I'm not so personally involved." Cassandra thought about what Kate had said. "What do you mean?" Kate tossed the hand towel on the counter. "Honestly?" Cassandra nodded for her to continue. "You all see Methos in very different terms. Cassandra sees him as the bastard who killed her people and stole her innocence. He was the man that held her captive and made her life a living hell. Am I right, Cassandra?" "Yes," she agreed. "Ok," Kate smiled at Duncan and Joe. "You see him as a friend. Someone to joke and laugh with on a weekend. Someone who is older and a little wiser, perhaps? Someone who you can count on if you happen to talk him into helping you?" Joe grinned, "Wiser? Nah, maybe a little more cynical though." "No matter how much you try, you will never see Methos the same way as the others," Kate finished. "And to expect the others to see him in the same light is not possible or fair. Your relationships to him are based in very different times and experience." The sound of applause caught their attention. Amanda had apparently been listening for a while. "I couldn't agree with you more, Kate." She walked over and took Methos' abandoned seat by Cassandra. "You see, I know he did everything you said he did to you and he was wrong for doing it." Cassandra started to say something. Amanda held up her hand. "You have every reason to hate him. If he did those things to me I'd feel the same way, believe me. " Amanda met Cassandra's gaze. "But I've never seen that Methos. He's been the only constant in my live for twelve hundred years. He's taught me a lesson or two about surviving. I love him like no other person in this world. He's been my teacher, my companion, my lover, but most importantly he's been my best friend. I wish you could have known the Methos I know." Duncan said, "We need a plan. What happened here this evening hasn't helped any, I'm afraid." Kate sat next to him and put his arm around her. "Should I continue to be wall decoration, or would you all mind if I step into the fray?" Amanda glared at her. "Why? What do you want to do?" Kate shrugged. "I don't know. But Methos seems to get riled whenever Duncan wants to help, he doesn't do anything but blame Joe because he's a Watcher, he's too confused to properly talk to Cassandra, she can't use her Voice on him, and with all the love in the world, Amanda is not getting through to him." "He knows us, he knows how we feel and he just told me...," Amanda said, happy with the last couple of minutes she had spent with Methos. "Something I didn't know he remembered. He doesn't want me to stay with him because he's afraid I might get hurt again. He's coming around." "So," Kate said, bummed. "I should just be chief cook and bottle washer, huh?" "What do you want to do, Kate?" Joe asked. He remembered her past being the disciple of Kane, and maybe some of that experience rubbed off on her. Hell, he never figured out if she was truly on their side. Sure, she was married to Duncan, and was awfully fast forgiving him. Could she had an ulterior motive in mind? "I don't want to just sit here. We've been here for days, and granted, he's not stabbing anyone anymore, but he's not getting better." "If you want to leave, there's the damn door," Amanda spouted. Duncan said, "I think you're on to something there. Have you talked with him at all?" "Me?" Kate asked incredulously. "When have you let me do anything but buy beer and collect Cassandra?" "What would you tell him?" Duncan asked quietly. She may be one without a past or an objective to get him to talk. Methos obviously had a lot of thoughts and emotions pent up that had been brought to the fore in his mind, and maybe he needed to just talk. "I don't know," Kate honestly said. Cassandra asked, "What all do you know about this man?" "I know he's pretty messed up. I know that my husband calls him a friend and trusts him. I know that he has a long and solid relationship with Amanda. And I know that he did something pretty terrible to you. I don't know those specifics, and to tell you the truth, I don't want to know. What I heard was enough. I was watching you, Duncan, while they were going through their banter. From what I can tell, and you should also, Cassandra, is that Duncan, Amanda and Joe are not pushovers. They love and trust Methos and we need to get him back. I think he just needs to talk. He couldn't talk to you, Cassandra, he won't talk to Duncan. I can assume that he doesn't tell you whole truth, Amanda. Maybe Joe." "No," Joe said. "You were right. He blames me for this at the moment. I was the face he saw while they were having their way with them. I just hope one day he can figure it all out." "Talk to him, Kate," Amanda said. "But in the morning. This evening took a lot out of him." "I'm not sure this should wait," Duncan said. "He might be using this time to gather all the loose threads and burying them again. Then we just have to get to this point one more time." He looked at his wife and smiled, touched her cheek. "Go talk to him." "He may not even let you in the room," Amanda said, but sat back willing to try anything. Cassandra surprised everyone, even herself for a second, when she stood up with Kate and said, "I'll go with you." Kate smiled. "So you can rile him up again?" Cassandra smiled. Amanda grabbed her arm. "What are you doing? He needs help, not be played with." "Amanda." Cassandra casually freed her arm. "They're right. Methos is at a place where he can't close himself off again. This will just be a continuous circle." "Why are you so anxious to help?" "Didn't you want me to?" "Yes, but heard what you said to him. They were hateful things." Cassandra lowered her head and nodded in agreement. "I have issues with him. Yes. I hate him more than I ever have or ever will hate anyone or anything, besides maybe Kronos. But Kronos is dead." "See?" Amanda stood up, blocking her way out of the kitchen. "I think you should stay right here." "Amanda," Cassandra told her. She had to collect her thoughts about why she was willing to put herself in Methos' way again. She couldn't quite understand the impulse fully herself. "I'm immortal, I'm a woman, I'm a witch. All three of which, at one time or another, have made me suffer for being so. I can put myself in his position very easily. I don't like what they did to him. Just as a rabid raccoon that was hit by a car and suffering on the side of the road, I would try to heal it, or bring it to a vet." "Or shoot it in the head to end its misery," Amanda countered. "Don't worry, Amanda. I won't hurt him, and when this is over, I'll continue to hate him. That's what I want," Cassandra said, suddenly realizing, and laughing a little. "I want to keep hating him. I can't hate a man who I pity." Amanda sighed and gave up. "Just don't do anything to make it worse." Kate touched Amanda's arm. "We'll try to get through him in some way. He won't be worse for wear. Promise." ~~~~~ Methos had picked himself up off the floor after Amanda left and shut the door. But now he was just staring out the window. Opening the window and hot wiring the van was a thought that he had played with in his mind for the last couple of minutes, but the glass was so cold, the temperature the window was holding back had to be brutal. "Why couldn't MacLeod have a cabin in Hawaii?" He felt the approaching immortal buzz outside the door and lowered his head. He couldn't deal with Amanda right now. He had told her all he could. If he held her again, he feared he would crack. He knew he had to let his memories that he couldn't piece together come out and deal with them, try to put them back in the correct place, but not with her. There was a soft knock on the door, and he wondered if she had locked the door when she left him. "Go away, Amanda," he said with what seemed like the last ounce of strength he could muster, and stayed at the window. "It's Kate, Methos. Can I come in?" he heard, taking him totally by surprise. They hadn't exchanged more than eight words together since he had first seen her in New York. "I'm not hungry." "I'm not coming in unless you allow me entrance. So, can I come in?" Methos crossed the room in a flash and turned the knob. It wasn't locked, and the door was yanked open. He was surprised to not only see Kate without food or drink, but Cassandra standing next to her. "What's wrong? You need somewhere to compare notes on MacLeod's prowess?" "Boy, do you have issues," Kate said, displaying a smile. "No. Actually, we wanted to talk to you." "I've talked enough." Methos shut the door and had just sprawled prone on the bed when the door opened. "I thought you weren't going to enter unless you were invited." "I lied," Kate said, coming in and sitting on the bed. She flopped on it, making the whole bed move, Methos rolled with the wake. He lifted himself up on his elbow and looked at her and at Cassandra. "It's been a while since I've partaken in a troika," he said with a smile. "And it will be a little longer," Cassandra shut the door and flipped on the light switch. Methos cringed from the sudden bright light and yelled, "Get the hell out of here." Kate said, "I thought, since we don't know each other, you could tell me about yourself." Methos stared at her, as he rubbed his eyes from the sting of the light. "Are you insane?" "No. You're the insane one," Kate said, goading him. "Or if you don't want to talk, don't talk. We'll just watch you. How will that go over?" Methos reacted to the 'watch' remark, after all he had been through. His eyes bounced between the two women like a caged animal wondering which one would shoot the dart gun first. Which one was more dangerous. Granted, he knew almost nothing about Kate, or what she could possibly want, but Cassandra. He had ideas of what she would like to do to him. Then he laughed. He kicked Kate and she fell on the floor. "Whatever," he said, and stretched out again, taking up the whole bed.  Cassandra walked over to where Kate sat on the floor and extended her hand to help her gain her feet again. "Doesn't play well with others, seems to be a pattern with you, Methos." "Yeah, well, at least I'm consistent," Methos yawned as he rolled over on his side ignoring the two women. "Turn the light off when you leave." "Duncan was right," Kate came around the bed to face him. "You would try the patience of a saint." Methos laughed in spite of himself. "Name the saint and I've been the bane of their existence. Ask Rebecca. She could testify to that." "Rebecca? Who is she?" Kate asked as she sat on the floor against the wall. She waited to see if Methos would answer her. She was about to ask him another question when he started to talk. "One of the most gentle people I've ever had the honor of knowing," Methos closed his eyes and Rebecca's sweet face filled his mind. "Amanda's teacher, my sometime lover." Kate caught Cassandra's eye and mouthed, "What should I do?" "Keep him talking," the older woman mouthed back as she took a seat along the opposite wall. "Where is Rebecca now?" Kate was curious. "Do you keep in touch with her?" "No." A long sad sigh escaped from Methos. Kate pushed on and hoped for the best. "Why not?"  "Because she lies in her grave. Dead at the hand of her student," Methos opened his eyes and looked at Kate. "She gave up her life to save her mortal husband's life. She knelt for that bastard, Luther, and at let him take her head. All because she loved John." Methos stared at the ceiling for several minutes. "I could have killed Luther several different times, but I let him walk. And then he took her head." "You couldn't have known," Kate reminded him.  "Luther was dangerous and I knew it." Methos changed the subject. Rebecca meant a great deal to him and it still hurt to know she was gone. "Did MacLeod ever tell you how he and I met?" Kate shook her head, "Not really." Methos sat up in the bed and adjusted the pillows against headboard and leaned back. "Once a upon a time..." Methos chuckled softly. "Oops, wrong story." Kate smiled at his joke. "Kalas had been hunting down MacLeod's chums, quite successfully I must add. Deciding my head would insure his success against MacLeod, he came looking for a myth." "And?" "And he found me, but not before your husband did," Methos told her. "Dawson told him about Adam Pierson and how Kalas might be coming after him for information on Methos." Methos pointed at himself. "Meet Adam Pierson, Cassandra. I don't think you ever caught my alias." Methos smirked. "I was watching myself, but I digress. As you can imagine, MacLeod came riding up on his white horse expecting to save poor mortal Adam Pierson from Kalas, but guess who he found instead?" Methos paused for effect. "Me. Smart boy that he is, he put two and two together and came up with Methos." "Lucky him," Cassandra couldn't resist saying.  Methos wasn't going to be bothered by her right now. "Kalas did a little snooping in my flat while I was out for a walk with Mac and, also being a bright boy, he figured out who I was. However, he didn't want to talk. To make a long story short, we argued, we fought, we swam. I hate the water, have I ever mentioned that? After I washed ashore, I found MacLeod and offered him my head. As you can tell, he didn't take it." "Then what happened?" Kate asked. Methos was quiet again. "I decided that maybe life was worth living again." "It still is," Kate assured him. "You think I've got so far off the deep end that I want to die? Not bloody likely!" Kate flinched at the force of his words, but carefully plunged ahead. "Great. You've got friends that want to help what you are going through." "We could debate that topic all day," Methos said. "Friends? I've buried too many friends. Some that I've killed myself." Kate couldn't help but miss Methos' glare at Cassandra. "Silas?" Kate remembered the name from the earlier discussion in the kitchen. "How do you know about Silas?" Methos asked. He looked at Cassandra. "Did you tell her. Witch?" Cassandra answered him, "She was there when you were talking about him." "When? I don't remember talking about Silas." He didn't like that Kate and Cassandra were exchanging glances like he wasn't there. Methos pounced across the bed to grab Kate by the neck in a flash. "Are you a witch, too? Does MacLeod know about you?" He bitterly shook his head. "I should have checked you out as soon as I laid eyes on you in New York, but you were a gift to me! Anything to get that slut Highlander away from Amanda!" Suddenly, to Methos' surprise, Cassandra had a dagger to Methos' throat. "Sit back down nicely on that bed and calm down, or I'll be collecting a quickening in short measure." To Cassandra's surprise, Methos disarmed her and was sitting back against the headboard in one smooth, lightening fast movement. He stabbed the dagger into the wall above his head and said, "If you ladies would excuse me, I believe I have said all I wish to from now until the end of time." Kate stood up, rubbing her neck. Her first impulse was to hurt Methos as much as he had hurt not only her, but everyone in that cabin at one time or another. Methos spoke up, "You can't take a head here, Cassandra. It's holy ground." "Do you think that's the only reason that would stop me? I could certainly kill you, drag your miserable hide outdoors and take it there." Methos smiled as he kept an eye on Kate. "Ah, Cassandra. You do care." "You know," she said, putting her hand to her face in deep thought. "Irony doesn't suit you." "Irony is my middle name." Cassandra said, "No. What I meant was-" "Do you really think I care what you meant?" "You never did like it when I had a thought, much less acted on it." "Oooooh," Methos purred as he slowly crawled to the end of the bed where Cassandra was standing. "How I loved it when you got on your knees." The door opened and Kate walked out. Cassandra stared at Methos, that old sickening dread overtaking her stomach. She shook her head and sucked back the retort, 'Only with a knife to my neck.' No sense in giving him any ideas. The dagger was still lodged in the wall behind him. He had taken it so quickly from her that the years of being under his dominance once again made her feel weak, small, and worthless. As Methos came even closer to her, she balled up her fist and slammed it into his face with all the pent up fury she could muster. Methos fell back on the bed, dead to the world. Duncan came to the door and saw her, then Methos out cold, the dagger in the wall. "What happened in here? Kate's not talking, but I know something happened." Cassandra took a deep, refreshing breath and said, "Methos was just being Methos. I think I'll put some distance between us." With that, she walked out. Duncan took the dagger from the wall and inspected the gouge. "Damn," he muttered to himself. "Why on earth did I think bringing Methos here would be a good thing? This is going to cost me a fortune by the time this is through." He went to the door and shut it, then paced as he waited for Methos to awaken. "First sheets, a mattress, two walls in two bedrooms." He chuckled as he looked at Methos. "You're going to be in the home improvement mode when this is over, just so you know that." Methos slowly came back to life and his hand went immediately to his jaw. "Ah," he groaned. "What happened?" He looked up at the large man hovering over him. "What did you do that for?" "Spur of the moment decision," Duncan took credit for Methos' aching jaw and probably ringing head. "What did you do to make me do it?" Methos held his jaw and tried to remember. The slate was clean. One minute he was eating chili, the next, he felt as if his head was going to explode and a large man was gloating. "Do you need anything?" "Like a punch in the stomach? No thank you." As Duncan went out the door, Methos regarded him; he was a complete stranger. A punch in the stomach... punch in the stomach... stomach... Methos could hear the buzz saw as it cut his abdomen open as he laid on the cold, steel table, straps holding him down, Lang standing over him. Methos laid flat on the floor, his arms and legs rigid, as if he couldn't move them. His body reflectively shuttered and his breaths heaved, almost to the point of burning his lungs. The buzz saw rang in his ears, he could feel the saw cutting, and could almost imagine smoke rising from the saw as if it was going through a hundred year old redwood. It's going through me! His moan gradually turned to a roar, violently shaking his head from side to side, to get up, but he couldn't stop what was happening to him. "Vashti!" he cried out. "Gods, woman! Help me!" Continued in Part Six