[DIAMOND LOU]: LADIES AND GENTLEMEN!! At this time please join me in
welcoming to the ring,
Seamus FINNEGAAAN, Robert LANNNNNNNCASTERRRR...THE
WHISKKKKKKKKKKKKKKEYYYYYYY DEVILLLLLLLLLLLLLS!!!
[PAGE]: They're back!! And listen to the fans react!
[McCOY]: Yeah whatever.
[A deep, rich amber glow filled the arena, as the drums of the Mahones
began
to beat quickly.
On the CSWAtron, the words "WHISKEY DEVILS" faded in slowly as the fans
stood to their feet
as the Mahone's Irish tune filters throughout and surrounds the
people.]
## Hide your drinks, lock up your daughters ##
## Whiskey devils don't give a bother ##
## Hide your drinks, lock up your daughters ##
## I've sinned again, bless me father ##
[Bursts of pyro explode on both sides of the entrance as Seamus and
Lancaster emerge from
the curtain. The music's loudness only increases as do the cheers of
the
fans at the site of
the two Britishmen, the former CAL World Tag Team champions. Seamus and
Lancaster stand at
the top and acknowledge the fans' reaction, all of whom are standing on
their feet, some chanting
"WHISKEY DEVILS! WHISKEY DEVILS!" loudly.]
## They are the maddest bastards you have ever seen ##
## They come from the land, the Irish drinking green ##
## They come from the land you've never seen before ##
## They are the whiskey devils, they're dirty rotten whores ##
[Seamus stands as per usual with his keg of Guinness, as Lancaster
stands at
the opposite side
He removes his Ray Bans, and for the first time in a long time, he
smiled,
glad to be home. The
two men turn to walk down the ramp. Seamus hurls his keg into the
ring, as
the two men slid in
and stood in the centre of the ring, soaking up the fans' appreciation
for
their efforts.]
[Diamond Lou hands the microphone off , as the lights
come
back
on as normal. The fans are still on their feet, giving the two a
standing
ovation. The fans
whistle and cheer their approval and appreciation for both men.
Lancaster
looks over at Seamus,
both of whom have huge smiles on their face.]
[FANS]: WHISKEY DEVILS! WHISKEY DEVILS! WHISKEY DEVILS!
## They'll drink into the morning, they'll drink into the night ##
## They are the Irish rovers, they're devils in full flight ##
## They'll always steal your women, and gargle that they see ##
## They are the whiskey devils, descendants of Brendan Behan ##
[PAGE]: The fans are really showing their true colours, back here where
the
CSWA began! These
two men laid it on the line for almost two months!
[McCOY]: I guess they deserve this, they were the third longest
reigning CAL
Tag Champs in
history...
[PAGE]: You did your homework!
[McCOY]: Of course I did, I was an A student in school ya know...
[PAGE]: *ahem* Bullshhhhh...
[McCOY]: What was that?
[Back in the ring, Seamus paces a bit with the microphone, as he raises
it
to his lips.]
[SEAMUS]: Cut the feckin' music!!!
[The sold-out crowd rose to its feet, chanting "WHISKEY DEVILS! *clap,
clap,
clap clap clap*
WHISKEY DEVILS! *clap, clap, clap clap clap* "]
[SEAMUS]: First of all, I want to apologize to all our fans out
here...it's
great to see ye
wi'all yer Whiskey Devils t-shirts, yer signs, hell, that chant ye guys
were
just doin' a
minute ago was pretty kick-arse as well...say, my memory isn't quite
what it
used to be, what
wi'all the chairshots ah've taken over the years, so if ye don't mind,
would
ye refresh my
memory?
[A huge pop from the crowd, which quickly obliged the hardcore legend
by
once again chanting
"WHISKEY DEVILS! *clap, clap, clap clap clap* WHISKEY DEVILS! *clap,
clap,
clap clap clap*" ]
[SEAMUS]: FECKIN' AYE!!! THAT'S THE ONE!!!
[The crowd once again popped, but Seamus waved his arms and called for
silence from the crowd.]
[SEAMUS]: Now, as I was sayin' before ol'Seamus started another drunken
Irish singalong
[crowd laughter]...on behalf o'myself an'my partner Robbie over here,
we'd
just like to offer
our apologies...[slowly pacing the ring] see, as some o'the more
perceptive
o'ye might have
noticed by now, there's somethin' missin' around our waists [some boos
from
the crowd]...or in
my case, my keg's missin' a little extra shine to it...[some
laughter]...so
on behalf o'the
Whiskey Devils...I'd just like to say...that I'm sor...FECK THAT!!!
IT'S
GOOD TO BE BACK!!!
[The crowd roared with approval.]
[McCOY]: Back and sucking up already.
[PAGE]: And you bring Marshall freshly made cookies everyday almost?
[McCOY]: They're store bought...
[SEAMUS]: Now, we may no longer have the feckin' CAL World Tag Team
titles,
but rest assured, the
Whiskey Devils will nay be wi'out gold for long...hell, it may even
start
tonight when my partner
over here challenges Adam-X for the CSWA title!
[Lancaster raised his arm in the air, saluting the crowd. The crowd
popped
at the mention of
their champion, as well as the challenger, giving him equal due.]
[SEAMUS]: Now, yer probably all wonderin', why Nighthawk? Why not go
after
another champion,
like, say fer example, Mullroix? After all, it was that gobshite's face
who
tasted the first
new sample o'the punter version 2, so why not go after Mullroix?
Well...to
be quite honest...
ah'm scared...feckin' right, ye heard me...ye see, when a grown man
starts
talkin' about makin'
other grown men his...ye know...bitches...I'd say there's a wee cause
fer
concern right there!
[The crowd roared with laughter, amongst some scattered cheers for
Mullroix.]
[SEAMUS]: Ye see, Mullroix...I know ye put the 'Ass' in 'Leg-ASS-y',
but
makin' grown men yer
'bitches'? Personally, I prefer to use my arse the way God originally
intended, an'that's where
the shyte comes out, an'where wankers like yerself can pucker up
an'kiss it
for all I bloody
care!
[Huge pop from the crowd against mixed with cheers for the "Legacy
World
Champion," as Seamus
handed the mic off to Lancaster.]
[LANCASTER]: Well. I don't quite know where to start.
[He paced as the fans simply cheered, eliciting a smile.]
[LANCASTER]: They say home is where the heart is...and I couldn't agree
with
that more...oh
what the hell, RIGHT HERE IN LINCOLN NEBRASKA!
[The fans popped loudly for the obvious cheap method to get a pop.
Lancaster grinned and
continued.]
[McCOY]: I remember when this guy used to speak eloquently.
[PAGE]: Woe is you!
[McCOY]: Bestill your flapping lips.
[LANCASTER]: As my partner already eluded to, we have come home to you
without the privilege
of calling ourselves World Tag Champions, and representing the CSWA in
this
manner. We did
though, I feel, do our damndest. I should have taken a page from my
contest
against Leprechaun
and nail those bastards with the gold knucks...
[Lancaster makes a jabbing motion with his hand.]
[LANCASTER]: But as you all I know I'm above such things.
[McCOY]: Only one thing to say to that: pfft. Did you see that article
in
that Brit tabloid?
[PAGE]: Unfortunately yes.
[LANCASTER]: We want to wish Big D and Impact luck in their title
reign, and
hope that we
might get a chance at those lovely titles again. But for now...my eye
is on
gold of another
sort, that around the waist of...Adam-X.
[A bevy of loud cheers for the CSWA Heavyweight Champion and wrestling
icon.
The Duke nodded
his head as he saw signs popping up from left right and centre for the
Authority or its
unofficial leader.]
[LANCASTER]: He was good enough to offer an open challenge to anyone
for
that lovely belt of his
tonight. And, as you know, I gladly accepted several days ago. I've
trained hard for tonight
if Adam-X accepts, with my colleagues Messrs. Beam, Walker, Guinness,
and
Daniels, and hope
to give the man a run for his money. We never got our chance all those
months ago Xavier, so,
I hope you're looking forward to this as much as I am. But just as
then, I
don't expect an
easy match, or even a 50/50 chance of victory.
[McCOY]: MODESTY!?
[LANCASTER]: But no matter what. I, and Seamus, are here to make
things
interesting for all you
gentlemen sitting in the back. And it starts tonight. Adam-X,
Nighthawk,
we didn't get to
fight you as a team, but we're going to give you hell in singles
competition. Having the CAL
World Tag Titles was great.
[He smiled broadly.]
[LANCASTER]: But the greatest of all is to come. And...[looking over
to
Seamus]...if you
perchance, after listening to this diatribe, and find yourself
disagreeing
with our
comments and conclusions, may we suggest this course of action...
[SEAMUS, LANCASTER, FANS]: YE CAN POGUE MAHONE!!!
[Fade out]