[Kushner stands in the corner, watching with a grin on his face. Finally, Python hops down after the music and camera flashes die down and beckons for a microphone. Someone hands him a mic and, looking into the crowd, Python laughs.]

[PYTHON]: You know, ever since this whole best two of three thing was announced, I knew that this was my big chance. For my match choice, there were two possibilities. A: I could choose a match that would give me an advantage over Jeff… or B: I could come up with something that’ll rock the arena. Something that the fans will never forget. Something to blow the roof off of this very building. Well… I went with B.

[This draws a HUGE pop from the crowd. The fans are on their feet in anticipation.]

[PYTHON]: I’ve thought long and hard about my choice. I told myself, it has to be something that me and Jeff can take and completely light up the show with. I considered many different stipulations… some requiring skills… some requiring brains… some requiring guts… and some requiring downright insanity. So I’m sitting at home last night choosing between 5 different match stipulations, but I just couldn’t decide!

[The crowd murmers in anxiety]

[MCCOY]: Well, there’s a huge area with a tarp over it next to the entrance ramp… wonder if that has anything to do with it…

[PYTHON]: So then, for once, I had a brilliant brainstorm! I figured, what the hell!? I got 5 stipulations that I can’t decide between, why not just throw’em all together!?

[This draws a huge pop from the crowd as Kushner laughs out loud from surprise.]

[MCCOY]: WHAT!?

[PAGE]: Oh dear…

[PYTHON]: That’s right! This match will be a rotating stipulation match! Five stips, each one lasts two and a half minutes. One pinfall wins it all. The match can be won at any time. The stipulations will be announced as we continue. And now, without further ado, let’s get this thing started!

[The crowd has been cheering through the whole thing. Python tosses the mic out of the ring and walks over to Kushner. Python grins and extends a hand, which Kushner accepts. They step back and the bell rings.]

[PAGE]: I wonder what the first stipulation is.

[MCCOY]: Knowing Python something moronic

[DIAMOND LOU]: The first stipulation is… a blindfold match!

[MCCOY]: Now we can see two blind morons try and impress the crowd.

[PAGE]: Well, Python and Kushner have put on some amazing shows, and I don’t mean just in the ring. Who will ever forget the sight of Kushner driving a cherry picker to the ring with Python riding on top!? Well, I’ll be damned if this isn’t going to be one of the best matches I’ve ever seen. I can’t wait!

[The referee ties a black blindfold around the eyes of Python and Kushner. To make sure they can’t see, he lashes out at them and stops his fist before each of their faces. When they don’t flinch, the ref rings the bell again and begins the match. Python wonders around with his hands out in front of him while Kushner just stands, trying to hear his opponent.]

[MCCOY]: How the hell are they supposed to fight if they can’t see!?

[PAGE]: Believe me, they’ll find a way.

[Suddenly, Python walks into Kushner. Kushner instantly lashes out, but misses Python by an inch. Feeling the breeze, Python kick in the direction that he thinks Kushner is in and connects with his stomach. Python grabs hold of Kushner’s hair and begins blindly pummeling him. After a few punches, Kushner manages to get out of the way and connect with a dropkick, knocking both off their feet!]

[PAGE]: Kushner somehow hits a dropkick and now neither knows where the other is.

[Python suddenly jumps to his feet and goes for a spinning heel kick in Kushner’s direction. Missing by a half an inch, he tries again with a thrust kick. This time, it connects with Kushner’s face and he drops like a brick. The crowd pops as Python walks to the corner and begins to climb the turnbuckle!]

[MCCOY]: No! He can’t!

[PAGE]: Python is going to the top rope with a blindfold on!

[McCoy starts whistling three blind mice but says nothing]

[Python reaches the top turnbuckle and balances carefully. He crouches down and launches off the turnbuckle with a swandive headbutt and… connects! This draws another pop as Python gets to his feet and tries to find where Kushner rolled off to.]

[PAGE]: Oh my God!!!

[MCCOY]: HOW THE HELL DID HE DO THAT!?

[PAGE]: Good question!

[Python finally finds Kushner and hoists him up, going for the Snake Bite… but no! Kushner worms his way out and counters with a German Suplex! The momentum has shifted and now Kushner is stomping away at Python. Kushner runs to the ropes and, aiming carefully, jumps up onto the second rope, springboards off, and hits a senton splash on Python!]

[MCCOY]: Wow! How do they do it with blindfolds on!?

[PAGE]: Yes, it’s a wonder he didn’t miss the second rope and go straight to the outside!

[Both Kushner and Python get slowly to their feet. Kushner goes for a clothesline, but misses. Python runs back and goes for a diving lariat, but Kushner manages to get out of the way. Kushner grabs Python and manages to pull him into a monkey flip, sending him straight into the turnbuckle.]

[MCCOY]: Clunk…

[PAGE]: Ah! Right into the steel post!

[As Kushner gets to his feet, a buzzer goes off.]

[DIAMOND LOU]: Stipulation number two is… Python’s Pit!

[The crowd explodes as the tarp is pulled off. Under it is a pit about 5 feet deep full of weapons!]

[PAGE]: Wow!

[MCCOY]: Good, maybe now they’ll kill each other!

[Kushner rips off his blindfold and picks up Python. He irish whips the blindfolded Python to the ropes and clotheslines him to the outside. Kushner takes a few steps back and, charging full steam ahead, goes for a suicide plancha clear over the top rope. But somehow, Python manages to sidestep it and Kushner comes crashing to the floor!]

[MCCOY]: That was smooth…

[PAGE]: Well, it appears that risk didn’t pay off too well for Kushner!

[Python rips off the blindfold as Kushner climbs back up to his feet. Now, the fight is on! The crowd support goes back and forth as Python and Kushner go punch for punch, brawling back down the entrance ramp! They reach the end of the ramp and Kushner gets a quick knee to the gut in on Python. Kushner picks him up and hits a thunderous spinebuster on the steel entrance ramp! Kushner shakes his head to clear out the cobwebs and walks over to the edge of the ramp, peering down into the pit of weapons. Python painfully climbs to his feet and walks up quietly behind Kushner. Finally, Kushner turns back around and is met with a kick to the gut followed by a DDT! Kushner head bounces off the metal ramp and Python hops down into the pit. He picks up a steel chair and climbs back out.]

[PAGE]: And Python is now armed with a steel chair!

[MCCOY]: Oh shit…

[Kushner gets groggily to his feet, but Python allows him no time to recover, smashing him over the head with the chair. Kushner drops instantly and Python begins to stomp away at him until he rolls off the ramp and into the pit. Python jumps in behind him, still wielding the chair. He takes another vicious swing, but Kushner manages grab a baseball bat, turn around, and smash the chair back into Python’s face!]

[PAGE]: OH MY GOD! THAT HAD TO HAVE BROKEN HIS NOSE!

[MCCOY]: Ahhh… I felt that one! I don’t think he’ll be getting up for a while.

[Bleeding freely from his nose, Python clutches his face in pain. Kushner goes for the pin]

[PAGE]: It could be over! That could be all!

1 …..

2 …..

[PAGE]: NO! HE KICKED OUT!

[Kushner grabs a table and sets it up. After laying Python out across it, Kushner climbs out of the pit. The crowd pops as Kushner leaps down and hits a 450 splash, sending both him and Python crashing through the table.]

[CROWD]: Holy shi*t! Holy sh*t! Holy Sh*T!

[MCCOY]: WOAH!

[PAGE]: Jeff Kushner with an amazing 450 splash, sending them both through the table!

[There is wood all over the place as Kushner and Python lie in the pit. Finally, Kushner makes it to his feet. He grabs a kendo stick and, looking to finish Python off, takes a vicious swing… but Python sprays a fire extinguisher right in his face!]

[MCCOY]: Ha! For once, a brilliant move by Python! Maybe he’s not so bad…

[PAGE]: That may have just saved the match for Python!

[Python grabs the stick away from the staggering Kushner and cracks it across his knee. The shot echoes through the arena as Kushner falls to his hands and knees in pain. Python lands another shot to Kushner’s back and throws the busted kendo stick aside.]

[PAGE]: A vicious shot from Python shatters not only the kendo stick, but Kushner’s spine as well!

**BUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ!!!**

[PAGE]: And there’s the buzzer! It’s time for stipulation number 3!

[DIAMOND LOU]: The third stipulation is… Tables........Ladders..........and Chairs!

[The crowd cheers as the popular gimmick match is announced.]

[PAGE]: Well, we certainly have the table and chairs. We just need a ladder!

[Python warily climbs up out of the pit and hobbles back down to the ring. He reaches under the ring apron and pulls out a 15 foot ladder!]

[MCCOY]: Ask and you shall receive…

[Python grabs the ladder and carries it back to the pit. He puts it all down and looks into the pit but… Kushner isn’t there!]

[MCCOY]: Wha?

[PAGE]: Where the hell is he!? Where’d he go!? He was in the pit and then…

[MCCOY]: I SEE HIM!!! OH MY GOD!!!

[PAGE]: Where!?

[MCCOY]: He’s up on the…

[All of a sudden, Jeff Kushner dives down at least 20 feet off the top of the CSWAtron! Python turns around and Kushner spears him in midair all the way back down into the pit!]

[PAGE]: OH MY GOD!! OH MY GOD!!! HE JUMPED OFF THE CSWATRON!!!

[MCCOY]: How’d he get up there in the first place!?

[PAGE]: HE JUMPED ALL THE WAY OFF THE CSWATRON!!!

[MCCOY]: You have a one-track mind…

[The impact knocks the wind out of both Kushner and Python. Kushner slings his arm weakly over Python for the pin.]

[PAGE]: THAT HAS TO BE ALL!

ONE …

TWO …

THR…

[PAGE]: NOOOOO!!! HE GOT A SHOULDER UP!

[MCCOY]: How!?

[PAGE]: THAT WOULD’VE KEPT ANYONE DOWN FOR THE COUNT!!!

[Bloodied and exhausted, both Kushner and Python lay in the pit. Finally, Kushner makes his way to his feet and manages to pick Python up and throw him out of the pit, quickly climbing out after him. He begins to set up the ladder, but Python comes out of nowhere with a chair shot to the lower back! Now both Kushner and Python are down. The crowd is on their feet, cheering for one to get up. Chants of both “Kushner” and “Python” ring through the arena.]

[PAGE]: This capacity crowd is on their feet and loving every second of this! These two have sacrificed their body countless times to entertain these people and, by God, deserve every compliment and every response they get from this crowd!

[MCCOY]: Well, I gotta admit, every time these two get in the ring… well, I just never seen anything like it.

[PAGE]: Python finally looks like he may be getting to his feet…

[Which he does. Python picks up Kushner and drags him, along with the ladder, back down to the ring. After rolling Kushner and the ladder into the ring, he pulls out two tables and tosses them in. By the time he slides back in, though, Kushner has recovered. The two go at it again, but this time Kushner quickly gains the upper hand with a quick jawbreaker followed by a head-scissors takedown. Kushner sets up the ladder and sets the table up about five feet away from it. But, he’s not done yet… Kushner also sets up the second table on top of the first one and, after a few more good stomps, lays Python out on top of both of them!]

[PAGE]: OH NO!

[MCCOY]: Double tables!? Wow… I’d hate to be Python right now…

[Kushner climbs the ladder and signals to the crowd. You can hear what he’s shouting.]

[KUSHNER]: Now, it’s time!

[The crowd explodes as Kushner launches off the top of the ladder into a swanton bomb]

[CROWD]: MY TIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIME!!!

[PAGE]: OH MY GOD!!! NO!!!

[The crowd cries out as Python manages to roll off the tables at the last second and Kushner crashes through both tables head first!]

[MCCOY]: Well that doesn't look good!!!

[PAGE]: IT COULD ALL BE OVER RIGHT HERE!!!

[Python weakly crawls over to the mess of wood, finds Kushner, and collapses on top of him.]

ONE …

TWO …

THRE…

[NO! Kushner gets a shoulder up a tenth of a second before 3!]

[PAGE]: OH MY GOD!!! OH MY GOD!!! I DON’T KNOW WHAT ELSE TO SAY! I’M GOING TO YELL MYSELF RAW HERE!!!

[MCCOY]: An amazing amount of stamina and willpower begin displayed by both here tonight! Both are busted wide open! There’s blood, wood, and chaos all over the place, but they refuse to quit! Absolutely incredible!

[Seeming to draw from the cheer of the fans, Python manages to climb to his feet. He grabs a chair and picks up Kushner. Python lands a quick kick to the gut of Kushner, who hunches over forward. Python carefully balances the steel chair on Kushner’s head and back before climbing the ladder.]

[PAGE]: Now what’s he going to do???

[MCCOY]: I dunno, but he has that chair on the back of Kushner’s head and spinal region… that can’t be good…

[Python climbs all the way to the top rung and stands up carefully. Suddenly, he launches off and hits a flying scissors kick right on top of the chair and Kushner!!!]

[PAGE]: OOOOOHHH MY GOOOOOOOOOOD!!!!!

[MCCOY]: HOLY SHIT!!! I THINK THAT’S IT! I THINK IT’S OVER!!!

[PAGE]: PYTHON HAS JUST HIT AN AMAZING 15 FOOT SCISSORS KICK, DRIVING THE CHAIR DOWN ON TOP OF JEFF KUSHNER’S HEAD AND BACK!!!

[Python manages to sling his arm over Kushner’s chest and the crowd counts along with the ref.]

ONE …

TWO …

THR… NO!!!

[PAGE]: I DON’T BELIEVE IT!!! HE GOT A SHOULDER UP!!!

[MCCOY]: HOW!!?? HOW DID HE KICK OUT!!??

[Python clutches his hair in frustration and amazement. He tries to climb to his feet, but fails.]

**BUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUZZZZZZZZZZZ!!!**

[PAGE]: Here comes stipulation number 4 of 5!

[DIAMOND LOU]: The fourth stipulation is… High Risk Moves Only!

[MCCOY]: Uh oh…

[PAGE]: That’s right down both these men’s allies! This should be interesting!

[Python staggers over to the turnbuckle and begins to climb it. The crowd is on their feet as Kushner slowly climbs to his feet and Python reaches the top turnbuckle. Finally, Python launches off with a diving lariat, but Kushner ducks it! Python hits the ground and rolls back up to his feet behind Kushner and spins around to come… face to face with Kushner! The crowd is blowing the roof off the arena as Python and Kushner stand face to face, each of them a bloody mess. Finally, a grin crosses Python’s face as he points to the turnbuckles. Kushner returns the grin and they each go to opposite turnbuckles.]

[PAGE]: Here we go!

[They each reach the top rope at the same time and stare across the ring, waiting for the other to make his move. Finally, they each leap off… Python going for a diving spear and Kushner going for a cross body block. They collide in the air, dead center in the middle of the ring, and falls to the mat. Python, winded, rolls away from Kushner and into the corner, trying to use the turnbuckle as support to get up. Kushner, who also got the air knocked out if him, just tries to catch a second wind.]

[PAGE]: WOW! WHAT A COLLISION! IT LOOKS LIKE NEITHER GOT THE BETTER OF THAT ONE!

[Finally, Python gets up and makes his way to the top rope. Suddenly, Kushner jumps to his feet and runs over to the turnbuckle, meeting Python up top.]

[MCCOY]: Where the hell are they getting all of this energy!?

[PAGE]: Kushner has somehow reached down deep and found the strength to get up and now the two are battling back and forth up on that top rope!

[Kushner and Python exchange slow but forceful punches, each trying to gain the upper hand. Finally, Python hits a jab to the gut and hoists Kushner up onto his shoulders. He’s going for a top rope power bomb! He begins to slam Kushner off the top… but Kushner hangs on, spins around, and Hurricanranas Python off the top rope and to the outside floor!!!]

[PAGE]: WHAT A COUNTER!!!

[MCCOY]: Whoa…

[PAGE]: An amazing show of athleticism by Kushner as he skins the cat and manages to climb back into the ring!

[MCCOY]: Uh oh… now what’s he doing!?

[Kushner sets up the ladder and slowly begins to climb it. In the meantime, Python warily stands up and staggers over to the ring apron. Using the ropes for support, he climbs up and back onto the top turnbuckle just as Kushner reaches the top of the ladder…]

[MCCOY]: These two just don’t know when to quit, do they???

[PAGE]: To tell you the truth, I don’t think they even know the word “quit”!

[MCCOY]: Wow, they’re stupid…

[PAGE]: No! I meant they both have amazing guts and stamina and neither would quit, even in these circumstances!

[MCCOY]: Oooooooh….

[Suddenly, Kushner flies off the ladder and connects with a hellacious missile dropkick to the chest of Python, sending him flying off the top rope and all the way over the guard rail into the crowd! Kushner lands on top of the ropes and tumbles to the outside.]

[PAGE]: OOHH MY GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOD!!!! I THINK WE NEED A TEAM OF MEDICS OUT HERE!!!

[MCCOY]: Get some shovels too, we need to scrape them off the floor.

**BUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUZZZZZZZZZZZZZ!!!!!!!!**

[DIAMOND LOU] The final stipulation is… LAST MAN STANDING!!!

[The crowd has been constantly cheering throughout the entire match, but now erupts as the last stipulation is announced. Kushner steadily climbs to his feet as the referee begins counting for Python.]

[PAGE]: Well, Python may be out cold here! If he is, then Kushner has won it!

ONE …

TWO …

THREE …

FOUR …

FIVE …

SIX …

SEVEN …

[Python slowly begins to get up]

EIGHT …

NINE …

T…

[PAGE]: HE’S UP!!!

[MCCOY]: [sarcastically]Great the freak show continues...

[Kushner walks over and grabs Python over the barricade, but Python knocks his hands away and slams Kushner’s face into the steel guard rail! Kushner staggers away from the rail and Python jumps up on top of it. As Kushner turns back around, Python jumps up off of the rail and onto Kushner’s shoulders, swinging him into the steel steps with a hurricanrana!]

[MCCOY]: Oof! I’m hurting just watching this match…

[Python grabs two more tables out from under the apron and brings them into the ring. Kushner warily gets up as Python sets up the two tables next to each other. Kushner rolls into the ring and charges at Python, who turns around and nearly gets his head taken off by a vicious clothesline… but ducks it! He runs after Kushner and takes him down with a floating neckbreaker! Getting the crowd pumped, Python kips up with a renewed energy. Kushner gets up again and runs at Python, but is taken down quickly with an arm drag. Kushner rolls back to his feet, but is met with a spear from Python!]

[PAGE]: Look at this! Python is on fire! He’s completely on fire!!!

[MCCOY]: Where does he get the energy from… I just don’t get it…

[Python is now back on his feet, screaming at Kushner to get up… which he does. Kushner staggers over to Python and right into a… spinning cradle DDT!]

[PAGE]: SNAKEBITE!!! IT’S OVER!!!

[MCCOY]: HE GOT IT!!!

[Python climbs to his feet and rests, panting and watching the ref count.]

ONE …

TWO …

THREE …

FOUR …

FIVE …

SIX …

SEVEN …

[Kushner begins to stir]

EIGHT …

NINE …

TE…

[Somehow, Kushner manages to use the ropes to pull himself up just before the ref counts ten.]

[PAGE]: HE’S UP!!! BY GOD, HE’S UP!!!

[MCCOY]: What the hell does it take to keep these guys down???

[Python groans in frustration and walks over to Kushner. Out of nowhere, Kushner hits a kick to the knee. Irish whipping Python to the ropes, he launches Python high into the air with a back body drop. He picks Python back up and whips him into the corner. Then, climbing to the top rope, he pulls Python up with him and heaves him up onto his shoulder. Jumping off the top rope, Kushner slams Python stomach first onto the mat with a thunderous thud!!!]

[PAGE]: SILENCE FOREVER!!! HE HIT THE SILENCE FOREVER OFF THE TOP ROPE!!! THAT’S IT!!! PYTHON MUST BE OUT COLD!!!

[MCCOY]: If I remember right, this is how Kushner defeated Python in their second match to become the first CSWA T.V. Champ after Python defeated him the previous week to become the last ever MSWA T.V. Champion!

[The ref begins counting]

ONE …

TWO …

THREE …

FOUR …

[Kushner gets up]

FIVE …

SIX …

SEVEN …

[Python sloooooooowly begins to stir]

EIGHT …

[Python starts to get up]

NINE …

T…

[PAGE]: NOOOOOOOO!!!! HE’S ON HIS FEET!!!

[MCCOY]: Um… frankly, I don’t believe this match will ever end…

[PAGE]: I'm sure you won't hear the fans complain about that.

[The crowd is still cheering for Python and Kushner and everything they’ve done throughout the match. Kushner shakes his head in disbelief and grabs the ladder. He sets it up next to the two tables that Python set up earlier and begins to climb it. Python slowly staggers over to the other side of the ladder and, looking up at his opponent, begins to climb it. With the last of their energy, Kushner and Python reach second rung from the top and put everything that they have left into pummeling the hell out of each other.]

[PAGE]: Python and Jeff Kushner are both teetering 15 feet up there, barely conscious! This is absolutely heart stopping! A left from Python! And a right from Kushner! And another right! And an uppercut from Python!

[Kushner blocks one of Python’s punches and elbows him in his already bloodied nose. Python is knocked backwards, teetering dangerously over the two tables. Somehow, he holds on and comes back with a roundhouse punch right to Kushner’s chin! Kushner tilts back, but manages to hang on. Kushner takes another swing, but Python dodges it. Taking advantage, Python lands a blow to Kushner’s stomach and puts one foot on the top rung of the ladder!]

[PAGE]: He’s going all the way up top!

[Kushner hits a fierce uppercut, taking Python by surprise and almost knocking him off the ladder. Somehow, Python manages to keep his balance. Kushner also puts one foot on the top rung. They’re now both a full 15 feet off the ground. Kushner goes for another uppercut, but Python catches his fist! Python throws a punch at Kushner with his other hand, but Kushner catches it! They’re now locked in a collar and elbow tie up, each staring down the other and trying to intimidate him. Each trying to find a chance to knock the other off the ladder.]

[MCCOY]: Whoever hits the bottom is going to be in for a world of hurt.

[PAGE]: Look at them! Each man with that insane look of determination in their eye! Neither seems to be backing down!

[Blood pouring down their faces, Jeff Kushner and Python continue the 15 foot high stare down as the crowd roars a thunderous approval for each of them. Finally, Python breaks the hold and jabs Kushner in the stomach. It’s not a very strong attack, but it’s enough to hunch Kushner over. Hooking Kushner’s head under one arm and his leg under the other, Python falls backwards and hits…]

[PAGE]: THE SNAKEBITE!!!!! OOOOOOOOOOOOH! MY! GOOOOOOOOOOD!!!!

[MCCOY]: PYTHON HIT THE SNAKEBITE OFF THAT 15 FOOT LADDER!!! I CAN’T BELIEVE IT!!!

[Both Python and Kushner go crashing through the tables and to the ground. The fans are still screaming themselves hoarse as the referee begins his count.]

ONE …

TWO …

THREE …

FOUR …

FIVE …

SIX …

[Python begins to stir]

SEVEN …

EIGHT …

NINE …

[Python gets to his feet]

TEN!!!

[PAGE]: IT’S OVER!!!

[The crowd explodes as the bell rings and Python staggers over to the ropes to support himself.]

[PAGE]:And Python has just evened this series up at one apiece. A fanstastic display of wrestling by these two men

[MCCOY]:Well grudgingly I will admit they put on a hell of a show.

[DIAMOND LOU]: Your winner… PYTHOOOOOOOOOOOOON!!!!

[Python hops up on the and raises his arm high to a thunderous ovation from the crowd! He hops down and walks over to check on Kushner. Kushner begins to stir and, extending an arm, helps Kushner to his feet. Python checks to see if he’s ok, but Kushner just shakes him off, nodding. Kushner grins, slaps Python a high five, gives him a quick slap on the back, and makes his way back down the entrance ramp.]

[PAGE]: I cannot wait to see what these two men dream up for their next match.

[MCCOY]:You know something they are pretty damn good BUT I still can't stand them.

[PAGE]:We'll be right back after a few messages from our sponsers]

[Fade to a commercial for X2 Coming to theatres May 2nd, 2003.]

CONTINUE

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