Devotional by Angela Smith
September 7, 1997
There are two things about life that can said without contradiction. Life is perverse and life is full of grace.
Life is perverse because young children are killed by drunk drivers; perverse because human and natural disasters wipe out homes and businesses that people have worked hard to build; perverse because AIDS and cancer and untimely accidents strike down commoners and princesses in the prime of their lives; perverse because all of Murphy'ss laws about things going wrong at the most inopportune times are true. Life is perverse in an uncountable number of ways.
Life is also full of grace -- the grace of friendship and love, the grace of a brilliant sunrise and a dazzling starlit night, the grace of being forgiven by someone we've hurt, the grace of acts of kindness by strangers, the grace of a pet dog or cat, and yes, even the grace of a very rich creamy chocolate. Life is filled with an uncountable number of graces.
It is the perverse that makes us sometimes wonder if it's worth it to go on and it's the graces that keep us going. Both are needed. The perverse helps us develop our strengths and our faith, and the graces give definition to evil and help us know what injustice is.
Only by facing the realities of the world's evils and disappointments and confronting our own conflicts, contradictions and doubts, can we learn more about ourselves and continue to grow mentally, emotionally and spiritually. The poet TS Eliot wrote "to get from where you are not you must go by a way wherein there is not ecstasy." In order to arrive at what you do not know you must go by a way which is the way of ignorance. To arrive at what you are not, you must go through the way in which you are not. To do this, to go through the unknown, to experience the waste of ignorance, is in fact to become a full person -- one who moves through life -- not merely existing -- but as an active participant. It is only when we participate in life out of the depths of our being that we can experience creativity, healing and wholeness.
The English composer Ralph Vaughn Williams wrote a beautiful work called Five Mystical Songs. The fourth song entitled "The Call" begins: "Come my way, my truth my life. Such a way, as gives us breath; Such a Truth as ends all strife; Such a life, as killeth death."
As liberal Christians in this place on this corner in Austin, Texas, we are called to find the way that is right for us -- the truth that is right for us -- the life that is right for us. To follow our bliss or to discover our highest calling helps us move through all the many little deaths -- the hurts and disappointments and failings that we experience each day.
Finding the way, the truth, the life that is right for us helps us to go beyond merely existing to being active participants in life. It is the means by which we truly connect with the mystical in existence -- the mystical in life -- the reality of existence that is beyond perceptual and intellectual comprehension.
The mystical of life is that part of consciousness that tells us we are more than a combination of electro-chemical functions happening in an assemblage of cells. It tells us that there can be great joy in every moment and that there is a greater presence in which we exist and have our being. Though we can never fully understand the mystery of the creation about us, we can come to feel a kinship with the mystery within us. Something there is that will not allow this mystery within to remain silent. It speaks out in our voices and our prayers.
We connect to the mystical component of life by being fully aware of the wonders of living -- the wonders of being. Just as the turning of a bulb to full flower is beyond mere intellectualization or scientific study, so we also know there are parts of our being beyond rational reason -- beyond scientific knowing. There is something deep inside that connects us to the ultimate reality -- that connects us to the divine.
In ceaseless, splendid turnings, the universe ravels and unravels, makes and unmakes. We are simply caught in the weavings of this glorious cosmic spin. What matters for the now is that we live life generously, willingly and completely. The ultimate purpose of life, after all, is to live up to the gift of our being. And along the way, we might even chance to hear the still small voice that tells us whatever happens we are never -- never alone.