Love
Happiness, sadness, knowledge and love
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Having waited for true love
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Husband and Wife
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Having waited for true love When I see couples with their love ones together,I envy, whenever people ask me what is love? Have Iever met someone I love or do I ever experience truelove, I would say I have a true love once, and it goeslike this :- I am just an ordinary guy in my early twenties, I am aconservative and cautious person where love is concern,I had a girlfriend who was about the same age as me, Everything was fine until this girl came into my life... let's call her Joey. Joey was a ordinary looking girl and was a few years my junior. She was very lively,cheerful and fun loving, the type of so called"sunshine girl" that would be ideal girlfriend for mostguys but not me. I always look upon her as a very shrewand easy girl because of her amiable character . Beside I am already attached, why confused myself withanother girl who I think might have more than oneboyfriends with her all the time. So whenever I waswith her, I will distanced her mentally and emotionallybecause I don't want to get myself burnt by her. Of course she was still good to me despite knowing am attached, I began to have this feeling that shelikes me, to think that I am actually in such a greatdemand ! I began to feel proud with myself, physicallyand mentally, boasting to my friends, although theymake no comments, I can tell from their eyes that theywere jealous, their heart filled with envy. Joey would called me now and then and we would alwaysgo out together ,actually I enjoy her company too, whatI can say was I treat it as a form of leisure. I amvery certain and told myself, she was only a friend tome and nothing else just because I am attached and sheknew it ! If she is still fond of me, it can't be help. Although she never express to me her feeling before,I just knew confidently that she likes me, hence Ioften compare my girlfriend with her and critisied her.To me I treat it as a comment and I don't think shewill feel bad, awful or embarrassed because she don'tseems to bother with my remarks at all and gave me asilly wide grin instead. So she was unserious anduninterested in what I say! Of course that certainlyconvinced me she just treat me like one of herboyfriends and I dare not put too much of my feelingstoo. So life continues and this goes on and yearspassed so quickly before we even realised. Then one day, I realised that she hadn't called me forweeks. I began to panicked. What is there to panick?You may ask, well, what I mean by panick is not I amscared but I have the kind of fear that I am afraid Iwill be losing her, everytime I want to pick up thephone, I just don't have the courage to call her,perhaps it was my ego, she used to call me, I was ingreat demand, I can still have my girlfriend to callthinking she was throwing tantrums at me, why should Iinitiate. Why will she be angry when she likes me inthe first place? Better still, so I can concentrate onmy girlfriend, I convinced myself. My ego stood me for about two months that I finallymelted down because somehow,deep inside I missed her,maybe, something has happened to her that discontiunedher daily routine, persuading myself with valid reasonsto suppress my ego inorder just to give her a call. The person who pick up the call was her mother, "h..ellooo.."? I stumbled, fearing her mother knew whoI am. "Yes, who are you looking for?" she reply in mandarin". "Joey please" I answered. "Joey? She has gone abroad to further her studies onemonth ago! Are you her friend? How come you don't know?" The news struck me. She didn't even bother to tell meabout her trip, I thought we were so closed and she wasfond of me all the while. Why did she leave without aword? "hello...?" came the voice from the other end thatinterrupt my thought" "yes, I am listening..." I replied. "do you know someone by the name of Steve?" "yes.....I...am." I stumbled once again. " she left a letter for you the night before she setoff, can you come and collect? " When I got the letter from her, it read, Hi Steve, I did not tell you about my decision to further my studies because I don't know what you treat me as. I afraid you will cause me to abandon my thought to theStates, wasting my parents hard earned money andcontinue living a meaningless life as someone you havebeen taken for granted. It took me so long to make this decision because Icouldn't bear to leave you. But there is nothing muchmore I can do to salvage the situation since you didnot make any effort. The reason I did not tell you I am fond of you is because I don't want to put you in a difficult positionunderstanding your present situation. But by being soconsiderate is as good as killing myself, I suffer allthe grievance and anger in the end without yourealising. You always give me this feeling that youwill leave me one day, and I hate to feel that way. Seeing couples together makes me so envious anddepresses my moral wondering who your mind is alwayswith. Words that you say hurts me yet I have to put astrong front because I don't have anyone to fall backon. What I want you to know is I am only just anordinary girl having normal feelings like others do. Please spare a thought for me, I hope I am making aright decision to stay away for a while, maybe if weare fated to meet again someday, we will be together,last of all, there is something I have always wantingto say and have no courage, I hope that it is not toolate, " I still love you". Take Care, Joey Upon reading that letter, I felt the sharp pain in myheart, she makes me realised that I am fond of her allthis while, it was a fact that I refused to admit.She was right, I have taken her for granted all thiswhile. She was a great person to be with actually, thefeeling with her was so different, it can't be found inanyone, not even my girlfriend. I shouldn't have treated her so distantly. -------------------------------------------------------- Please forward this if you think it's worth sharingwith, always remember, time is short, but always toolong for those who wait, yet too sufficient for thosewho realised. Does the story remind you of someone close to you butyou have not really return the favour?
