Depression Era

Ah! I wrote these when I was depressed and now they make me want to cry.

Blood Cries
I'm not who you thought I was,
I'm not who I thought I was.
I bleed, I cry, I try
to be the person they wanted me to be.
My blood splatters the walls,
stains the carpets and runs along my body.
My tears blot the paper,
cover my clothes and mar my face.
I tried so hard, but my efforts never
seem to be enough.
I failed them and my self
and yet it still stays the same.
Nothing I can do can change the outcome,
no matter how hard I try and try again.
I bleed as I waste my time
trying to fix my mistakes.
But I have so many
and not even my tears can help me now.
All that is left is a failure who's
blood and tears flow freely
drawing the life out of my body.

Body Dies
My flesh burns, my body breaks,
my bones shatter, my lungs burst.
The flames engulf my flesh
in their fiery torches.
The constant pressure wears
my body down until I finally break.
The grips of the hands
cause my bones to shatter.
The depletion of oxygen
leaves my lungs empty.
The demands of living have gotten
to be so much that I just gave up.

I'm Dying
I'm dying the pain is so intense,
I'm dying, but I just won't croak.
The pain shoots through my body
until all I can feel is a dull ache.
I'm dying slowly from the pain,
I'm dying, but it's not fast enough.
My body loses feeling,
until I'm left with this empty vessel.
I'm dead the pain has stopped,
I'm dead, but I'm not.

Tears
Everyday I cry
I'm drowning in a sea of tears
I cry to relieve pain
I cry to relieve sadness
But it never works
Everyday I cry

Everyday I cry
I'm drowning in a puddle of tears
I cry to relieve stress
I cry to relieve pressure
But it never works
Everyday I cry

Everyday I cry
One day I'm afraid
I won't make it to the top
I'll drown in my tears
Fighting my way past
The taunting, the jeers
Crying my tears
I'll float to the bottom.

Faith
I've lost the war
I've lost my faith
I'm being crucified for my sins
But I'm not a savior or a saint

I don't believe in what they say
I don't believe in what they do
I don't believe in what they are
I don't believe in what they were
I don't believe

I need guidance
But everywhere I turn they shun me
I'm not like them
They are not like me
We come from two different worlds.

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