Acknowledgement: This fic is entirely based upon a doujinshi (fan manga) by Tide, called "Love Machine". Tide actually wrote it based on a song, and I've used the translated lyrics, as well as Tide's translated dialogue. The story follows the manga virtually panel-by-panel, with some interpretation on my part. I didn't write this to plagiarise Tide’s stuff, I wrote it to complement the manga. I was totally blown away when I read it, and I kept wondering what the story might be like told from Kurama's perspective, in words rather than pictures. I completely recommend that everyone go read Tide's absolutely gorgeous manga, which can be found at: http://www.yyhdjs.com/general/mach_600/6mach_01.html (don't forget to read the panels from right to left!)

"Hiei?" I call for him as I open the door.

He is sitting in the midst of the trailing decorations and crushed flowers from the previous evening. Legs crossed, leaning against the wall, staring at nothing in particular. I enter hesitantly, unsure of my reception, noting his stony indifference. But then, is Hiei ever any different?

Hiei, always so cold to everyone, so solitary, so alone. I felt his aching loneliness from the first moment I met him. I knew he wanted someone, needed someone - and who else was there but me? Who else that would look beneath that cool exterior? No demon, certainly -- too selfish to see Hiei's pain. No human either, can understand the power that Hiei wields, and its price.

There is only me. No longer the demon Youko, yet never truly the human boy Shuuichi. I am Kurama, caught between two worlds. I am the only one who can ease his pain, and give him what he needs. But I will not take what he is not willing to give.

He turns to me as I click the door closed. Crimson eyes meet my own, a small smile in my direction. I wonder what it means, what he is thinking. Whether he is thinking of me. Wanting me. Despising me.

I know that I want him. I want to caress him and breathe his scent and drown in his eyes. And yet... I hesitate. I see him there, so still, so vulnerable, pale hands resting so casually on his thighs. Can a demon be innocent? I don't want to hurt him. And I turn away, despite my desire.

Moonlight.

The moonlight pools around me, and I feel myself slipping, losing my grip on Shiuichi, and the part of me that is human. I try to fight it. I want to stay, but somewhere in my mind a honeyed voice is telling me to let go of my control. He whispers that we only want the same thing -- Hiei -- and finally I bow my head, and surrender. I feel the silken silver tresses as they unfurl down my shoulders, and I turn, the Youko unleashed, slitted golden eyes sliding until they rest on Hiei's still form.

He stares at me, the smile vanished, expression wary. Afraid? I can't tell. Is Hiei afraid of the pain, or of the closeness that I offer? Should he be afraid? Not of Kurama, sweet, compassionate Kurama. But I am the Youko, the fox-demon now, and I share all of Kurama's passions, with none of Kurama's conscience. I am nothing but cold, hard, desire.

I kneel by him, touch his face, cup his jaw in my hand. A tender touch, a possessive touch.

"Hiei?" I ask. Why do I seek his permission? My request is answered only by silence.

It doesn't matter.

I lean forward, moving into him. As I press my lips to his, he narrows his eyes, still locked with mine, but doesn't pull away. The sweet taste of Hiei is like nectar on my tongue. I can feel his pulse racing under my fingertips, as it matches my own. Unspoken permission? Kurama doesn't know, and I don't care.

'Can I kiss you deeply?'

I gather him roughly to me. Only a slight weight in my arms as I move towards the bed, and then I'm falling onto him, crushing his slender body beneath my own.

Reproach now: "Hey!" His eyes spark a warning as his deep voice rumbles. "That's enough. Don't get carried away."

I clutch his shoulders tightly in my hands, leaning to kiss him once again, unheedful of his words. But there is a sudden scrape of metal by my ear and a bright flash of reflected moonlight, and then a katana blade is pressed against my throat. A shiver sweeps through me as the icy metal touches my hot flesh. For a moment I pause, considering, and then a lazy smile slips across my features.

"If that's how you'd have it, baby." I raise my hand to slide two fingers along the dull edge of the sword. Hiei's kitana. How I love to watch the blade splice the air in his nimble hands. A blade meant for me? Will it run with my blood now? Do I care?

"Death at your hand would be a cherished dream." I press forwards, ignoring the blade's bite across my neck.

"Hey!" Panic in his voice now, as I nuzzle into his shoulder, the scent of his fear arousing me further. I can feel the blood begin to trickle down my neck as he holds the kitana unsteadily. "Stop--"

I nip at his flesh, sharp teeth piercing the skin in retaliation, and he cries out in pain. And then my tongue begins to lap at his sweaty, salty skin, to sooth the hurt I caused. Slow strokes along the side of his neck, to the softness behind his ear.

'I'm always careful not to tear your clothes'

His eyes close, and suddenly the kitana slips from his slack fingers to the floor with a thud, forgotten. I lick back down his neck now, ignoring the hands that are pushing weakly at my shoulders.

'Cause I know you didn't bring a change.'

Slowly I make my way to his chest, sliding my hands under his tunic, slipping it up until I can take one of his nipples in my mouth and suckle it.

"STO -- ahhh!" He gasps for breath as my roughened tongue rasps at his soft flesh.

'Too late to say "Hey wait a minute"'

I lift my head, and run my tongue along my lower lip, the taste of him sweet in my mouth, trying not to see the tear that slips down his cheek. I know he wants this. I know he is too proud to ask, to independent to accept Kurama's gentle offer. Hiei is too much a demon to accept the ties a lover binds with. And so I give him what he needs against his will, even as I take my pleasure with him.

'I want to blank my mind and just make love with you.'

My body is feverish as it speaks its hunger. Somewhere within me Kurama remains, and I know I cause him pain, even as I cause him pleasure. But I pay him no heed, because I know he wants this as much as I do, as much as Hiei does. I block out his words, his thoughts. Blank my mind. Focus on the feel of the warm body between my legs, the erection grinding against my own. I want him desperately, and I lunge down onto him, to press my face against his belly. Don't think. Just feel. I blank my mind as I make love with Hiei.

His hands fall limply from my shoulders, and I slip my arms around his back to lift his shoulders from the bed. He arches up to meet my waiting tongue, his resistance broken, his body accepting, craving. I cradle his head in my hand, my lover, my Hiei.

'I'm like a Love Machine.'

And then I lay him back down on the bed, and his head lolls backwards, his eyes closed. One hand sneaks up to coil around my arm, clutching at me. I brace my fingertips against his chest, holding him down flat on his back. He offers no resistance now, though his eyes are still closed, refusing to look at me. But his body tells me he wants this, needs this. So I give it to him.

'You ask me not to leave any marks upon your skin.'

I run my sharpened nails down his chest, leaving red streaks in their wake. He shudders at my touch; the line between pleasure and pain blurs. My hand encircles his fragile throat, threatening, promising.

'But I always seem to forget.'

He turns his head, away from me, his face hidden behind his hand. Smoothly I pull the fist away, pushing it down into the covers and trapping it there with my own, using my weight to hold him down, even as he would twist away.

'I want to blank my mind...'

And then I can contain myself no longer, as I spread his legs and force his knees upwards. His eyes widen as he realises that I intend to take him like this, now, unprepared, and that there is nothing he can do. I push, slowly despite my burning need, and enter him. Such tightness and warmth, engulfing me.

'...and just make love with you.'

He cries out as I thrust deeper, moving over him, his naked body slick beneath my own. Pain? Or pleasure? Do I know? Do I want to know? For now I want to know nothing except the feel of him around me, crushing me. I blank my mind. Don't think. I feel his hands on my shoulders. Do they pull me to him, or push me away? I love him, I use him. Is there any difference? He needs me, he wants me to do this. I take the choice from him, so he doesn't hate himself.

'Life is so short after all.'

The fight seems to drain from him, as he sinks back onto the bed, eyes unfocussed. He surrenders to me as I slide in and out of his body, claiming him, loving him. The sweat beads on his flushed skin. Softly he moans as I nuzzle into his neck once again, my hands running over his chest, his shoulders, wanting to caress every part of him, to bring him pleasure as he gives it to me.

Sunlight.

Sunlight spilling over the window-sill. The golden rays fall across my shoulders, cloaking me in light and warmth. And I feel myself slipping, I can't hold on. I am the Youko, and I rage to be told I cannot stay. But with satisfaction, I know that Kurama will finish what I have begun. He may hate me, but he could never do this without me.

I am Kurama. I awaken with the dawn, and I am buried inside Hiei's body. The memories of the night are vivid in my mind: holding him trapped beneath me, forcing myself upon him. I remember his pleas, and I sicken myself, that I have hurt him so.

"Hiei?" He is sprawled before me, with a demon's grace. His eyes are focussed somewhere past me.

'I call your name in your ear.'

"Hiei..." My breath is a whisper across his cheek as I lean in to speak his name. He stirs, makes a small sound. Does he know it's me, now? Does he hate me? I cradle his face tenderly, my Hiei, my love.

And then his hand reaches up to tangle in my hair, as I move down to kiss his chest, gently, slipping out of him with the barest of pleasures. I sit back on my heels. His hand has fallen back to his side, and he lays motionless, eyes closed. Do I take his silence as consent? Does he want me to continue?

I am torn. How I despise the Youko who has taken Hiei against his will, and yet it disgusts me even more that I am grateful to him also, for doing what I could never bring myself to do. Guilt and desire hold me poised, balanced on a knife-edge. I know I should leave, but the damage is already done. What good would it do to leave us both unfulfilled, longing? If he wanted to go, it would be a simple thing to use his Jagan now, to become the demon he is and overpower me in this weak mortal state.

As I stare at him, my thoughts in turmoil, he slowly opens his eyes and his crimson gaze meets mine. There is pain in his glance, pain and desire, and it might be a mirror of my own face right now. I can’t bear to hold his eyes. Instead I drop my gaze to his small mouth, the mouth that should be cursing me, but that now makes no protest.

And finally I can’t bear to face him at all, and I grasp his shoulder and gently turn him over onto his belly, so that I won’t have to see those eyes, which bore their way into my soul. He lets himself be guided, his body pliant in my hands, still hot and slick with sweat. Submissive now, he offers no resistance as I lower myself over him.

'Still way too soon to say "Hey, wait a minute."'

Slowly, gently, breathing softly into his neck, I push myself inside Hiei once again. He makes no sound this time, eyes tightly closed, cheek pressed flat against the bed. I am taken as deeply as I can be, and then I draw back and begin to thrust. The pleasure spreads through me in waves.

He reaches out to grasp the bedclothes more tightly in his fist.

It is an incomparable feeling, this feeling of being one with Hiei. I crave it like nothing else. His body seems made to fit beneath my own, to cradle me within its depths. In my years as a Youko I have been with many, and yet none have filled me with such fire as Hiei does.

I slide my arm around his hips, and take him in my hand. He makes no sound yet, but the whiteness of his knuckles betrays the intensity of his pleasure as I stroke him, timed to match my thrusts.

'I'm like a love machine.'

The feeling builds within me. I struggle to hold back, learning forwards to kiss his shell-like ears, to bury my face in his soft, spiky hair, and hope that he might forgive me, one day, for doing this to him.

'I want to blank my mind and just make love with you.'

And finally, Hiei arches, pushing backwards and impaling me as deeply as I can go as my hand is filled with his slick release. The pleasure is almost unbearable, and I feel myself tipped over the edge, joining him in his ecstasy. I collapse, shuddering, on top of him.

'I'm like a love machine.'

Later. I sit, my knees hugged tightly to my chest. Beside me, he sleeps, the sleep of the well-satiated, with one small hand tucked under his head. I look down at him, at his sweet expression. I want to run my fingertips over his cheek, but I feel my touch would only despoil him further. My Hiei, how can you forgive me for this? How can you stay with me?

And even as I wonder, the answer is plain before me - for all his power, for all his prowess, he needs me - he needs me to care, and so he stays. And I hope, I pray, that he cares for me too, despite the terrible thing that I am, and the unspeakable things that I do to him.

Somewhere, buried deep inside me, the Youko smirks. He has won, and I have lost another little part of my soul.