Untitled
Written: 2/28/94
For Bob
I looked for refuge in your eyes,
I could not find me in your heart.
I searched for love in your soul,
I could only find it in your sex.
I hoped for faith,
I only found your want of control.
I tried so long and hard to find a friend,
All were there except you.
I worked from can till can't,
Yet, that's not quite enough.
The harder I try to do right,
The worse things go wrong.
I wanted to start over somewhere else,
Where ever I go I have to take me with.
Am I running from myself or just you?
The need to find myself, who I am or was,
Who I'm supposed to be is beyond my comprehension.
Yet I must endeavor to preservere,
To prove to everyone something I can't be sure of myself.
Still I carry on,
With the pain in my body and a well rehearsed smile.
But, constantly looking for a way 'out'.
I act as though nothing can hurt me.
The void within grows deeper like a black hole,
I search the equation for a door to enter and escape.
Maybe to find another universe on the other side,
It has to be better then this.
I cry inside, but you nor none will know when or why.
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