Fine All Over Again

Pain all over again

Loneliness all over again

Tears are flooding again

Heart is breaking again

Too many times to count

Are the lonely nights I've spent

Too many times I love of some who doesn't love back

Too many times I'm stupid

to think it would have been

Lights, camera, action

Everytime my nine hearts

disappear one by one

like a cat who cuddles

wanting attention

but ends up abandoned

Heart number five, age seventeen

Heart number blank, age unknown

Everytime I'm crushed with reality

I can't help it it I live better in my words

I can't help not understanding certain things

I can't help feeling stupid for not understanding

I can't help being hurt when I can't have something I need to badly.

Sleepless nights

Unanswered prayers times one hundred

There's a reason for that

I know, Lord

but why does it have to hurt so much, so deep

I'm a romantic but I try so hard not to be.

I hate this poem

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