The
Kyle Poems
Kyle was a poet,
the kind of boy-poet who believed the Morrison/Kerouac/Burroughs myth that only
men write great poetry and then only through the enhancement of alcohol and
psychotropic drugs. I believe that
Kyle loved me in some way, but in truth he loved another. It was her return
that rent us apart-or perhaps it was the allure of Sister Morphine that tore
Kyle from the arms of woman. Still,
there is no doubt we could not have gone on in the meteoric whirlwind of
emotion we created.....We reconciled a year later for a short period. We
held one another one last time in 1995, when we ran into each other at a poetry
reading in Phoenix. For a moment, I thought to pursue reconciliation. The next
moment, I remembered the crash of my heart. I "lost" his
number. These are but a few of the poems inspired by the emotional
upheaval I endured during the “Kyle Period.”
A Morning for Eternity
I remember desert sands
Shifting rough beneath me
As I engulfed your manhood
With my soul
Afterward, we lay soft
Within one another
Whispering philosophies and poems
Beneath a sun awakened
Dew, and a Joshua
Tree that hung a curtain
Over our loving.
My fantasy was met
That day, and it seemed
We'd be forever.
(c) 28
February 1986
The Ultimate - Kyle 2
You are becoming
Something more
Than reality --
Something more than
A mortal man
For you
Enter my dreams as
I travel the
Night's lonely corridors --
You
Enter my thoughts
In the cluttered closets
Of daylight gathering
Although I am a
Sister of Wisdom
And a follower
Of honesty,
The lie that you could
Care for me has
Invaded my mind
And you
Have become my ultimate
Reality.
(c) 26 April 1986
Love Star
This feeling I have
for you
Is as deep as the
Very Universe;
As
Intense as the Destiny
of the
Dark Star
That you are
(c) 29 April 1986
Infection
You have wounded me
More deeply than
This cut that
Made us one
The knife
Still rips across
My heart: Blood
Flows (And I
Remember ours as
it ran together,
Mingling magick)
Now mine
Flows alone, the pain
A puss-filled
Reminder, for you
Have infected
My Soul.
(c) 13 May
1986
The Sale...
I never thought
I'd sell my soul
And surely never
to a man
like you --
And yet
As death has
Become the ultimate
Reality, I
Realize that sell
My soul
I have:
Kyle,
I sold my soul
And
You bought it for
her.
(c) 13
May 1986
Kyle IV
Alone among many,
I think of you
And remember
Two days -
Three
Filled with special
Feelings
Pushing out the thought
Of loneliness
The memory is sweet
But suddenly
It sours upon my tongue;
For I have lost
You;
Hurt you in the
Thoughtlessness
Of my being
So know I miss you --
Two days? Three?
I should have been
Forever.
(c) 25 April 1986
Kyle 17
I cannot reach above
The point where I forget you
Too high, I cry!
And I have reached
My lowest point
I stretch out---
My arms pull painfully
For that height
I might reach---
I might---
But no; still
I fall short and find
Myself lower in my
Caring for you
Than I have ever been.
You have crushed me,
Sand below your feet
Scuffled in the
Madness
Of my love
(c) 16 May 1986
Kyle 16
Love blood flows,
Streaming madly
Mississippi-like
Never forgetting the
Ceremony of forgiveness
We once shared
Time goes by, and I
Tell myself
(As all others also tell me)
It is all for the best
But the scar on my soul
The river will not
Flow dry
For I
Was drowning deeply
In the current
Of your love.
(c) 16 May 1986
Kyle VII
Having you back
Would be the ultimate
Happiness, for
In having you
I will have achieved
My ultimate
Fantasy, and
Together we will
Reach the ultimate
Heights of Love
(c) 25 April 1986
Kyle ~ Epilogue 1
Moons and suns and stars
Have passed,
Have burst and died
Since last we shared
A common passion --
I dreamed of you:
Betimes you were my
Night-Daemon, you
Who tore my soul
Who ripped my flesh,
Who bled with me, Brother-
Daemon, life swirling, mesmerizing
Flowing as one:
Together, together, together:
Apart forever.
Soul-mate? One of many -
Are we destined to be tied to
Anger, drunken poet passion,
Or can we now be friends?
(c)
11 August 1995