Title: Three
Author: Moonshayde
Season: Eight
Category: Drama, Angst, A/A
Spoilers: Heroes, Lockdown, Zero Hour, Icon, with minor
spoilers from other seasons.
Pairing/Character: Daniel/Janet, Team
Summary: The door to all; the door to one. In the circle, time
undone. Past embrace, future gone. Beware the choice; the wishful come. As Daniel hears these words play
over and over in his mind, he has to make a decision that could change his life
and the lives of his friends forever.
Rating: PG-13
Author's Notes: Written for the November DanJan Challenge: Develop your plot around the
number three. It's up to you what the number signifies in your fic, but it must be a
crucial element to the storyline.
Thanks
Meg for beta-ing this for me, as always.
Disclaimer:
Stargate, Stargate SG-1 and all of its characters, titles, names, and
back-story are the property of MGM/UA, Double Secret Productions, Gekko
Productions, SciFi Channel, and Showtime/Viacom. All other characters, the story
idea and the story itself are the sole property of the author. This story
cannot be printed anywhere without the sole permission of the author. Realize this is for entertainment purposes
only; no financial gain or profit has been gained from this fiction. This story
is not meant to be an infringement on the rights of the above-mentioned
establishments
"It's right through
here."
Daniel nodded, stepping off
the dirt pathway to follow Bill into the woods. From what Daniel could tell, just
based on the overgrowth on, by, and around the makeshifts roads, whatever
civilization had flourished here were long gone. Sighing, he ran his hand down
the trunk of one of the trees, relishing the rough texture for a brief moment
before moving onward.
Lately, it seemed that no
matter where they went, the peoples they met had either advanced to a point
technologically that Daniel had difficulty tracing their true origins,
sometimes even connecting to them at all, or they were quickly approaching that
stage, while other times they found ruins of long dead civilizations, ones that
barely left a trace of their history, their legacy.
And, either way, they ended
up shot at, caught in a war, or some other disaster.
"Try not to get shot
this time," Jack had told him.
"Technically, you're
the last one who shot me," he had replied.
"Yeah, well…"
That had been what Daniel
liked to call his "personal" briefing. Though, he suspected that Sam
and Teal'c had them as well. Jack couldn't help but be on edge after what had
happened over the past few months.
Or, more accurately,
possibly longer.
They'd always run into
problems on missions even from the very start. Inevitably, they ran into
trouble. It was what they did. It just seemed lately—lately—the missions they
went on left him feeling tired and heavy.
Sam thought maybe it was the
stress from Tegalus. Daniel wasn't so sure.
With all the problems,
changes, and loss they'd experienced this past year, Daniel wasn't surprised
they seemed to just be going through the motions. They were all feeling the
pressure.
He wondered if this was what
life was like after he had…gone.
Deciding not to dwell on any
more depressing thoughts, Daniel snapped out of his reverie. With a hop, Daniel sidestepped a small tree that
had fallen. Just a little sapling…Broken, twisted, dead.
He sighed.
"I just know you're
going to like this, Daniel," Bill said, pushing away a vine or two before
he beckoned Daniel with the wave of his hand. "It's just incredible."
Again, Daniel nodded, but he
had to admit he wasn't really feeling excited. Half the lost civilizations
they'd found over the past two months hadn't even given Daniel an iota of
information about their history.
"Look, look. Isn't it
great?" Bill said excitedly.
The shrine had fallen into
obvious ruin. Only less than three quarters of the building remained standing,
most of which constituted the limestone framework. Any art, architectural
design, or trace of vibrancy this place once held was gone, replaced with wear
and out of control vegetation.
Daniel pressed his hand
against the remains of one of the few standing walls. "This place has been
abandoned for a long time."
Bill looked confused over
Daniel's lack of enthusiasm. "Don't bother with the walls!" Bill
tugged at his arm. "In here."
Frowning, Daniel followed
Bill around the corner onto the other side of the wall. A quick assessment of
the layout told Daniel this had once been a room; the inner walls of the
chamber had collapsed in on itself and the rubble along the perimeter could be
some indication of household, religious, or political use. He would have to
sift through any refuse to see if there was any ritual significance.
All of which was fine and
good, of course, if Daniel had been in the mood for it.
"Bill—"
"No, Daniel.
Here."
Daniel was starting to feel
like a lost puppy. Or a coerced one. Mumbling under his breath, he followed
Bill around some of the broken walls, over to a little niche on the side of the
once-room. More stone, more decay, more crumbling structures, more…
Daniel stopped and stared at
the, the…
"I knew you'd like
it," Bill said proudly. "We found it yesterday."
"It" was a large
bulbous stone, stuck to the side of a ruined wall, almost oval, but too irregular
and asymmetrical. Smooth and glassy, but dark and opaque, the stone material
reminded Daniel of the little ebony figurines he used to try to steal from the
vendors in Cairo when he traveled to Egypt with his parents. Only this wasn't
any kind of ancient sculpture work, or at least not like anything he had ever
seen. No face, no likeness. Just a smooth, bulging surface.
Like a Buddha's belly. Or
the pregnant fertility figures he had in his apartment.
Daniel licked his lips,
resisting the urge to rub his palm down its slick surface. Bill was right. It
was incredible.
"It doesn't have any
markings," Daniel said aloud, walking around its semi-circumference.
"Untouched. No nicks, no wear." He stopped in front of it and crossed
his arms. "It's like new."
"I know," Bill
said from behind him. "Talk about strange. I knew it would be right up
your ally."
Daniel raised his eyebrows
at that remark and glanced back at Bill. He fought hard to suppress a smile as
he sized up the befuddled scientist.
"I-well. I didn't mean
for it—"
Daniel chuckled, soliciting
another frown from Bill. But he didn't reply, instead returning his attention
back to the stone. "So, when did you find it?"
"Yesterday
afternoon."
"Yes, right,"
Daniel said, recalling that bit of information. He paced in front of the
sculpture, eyeing the wall surrounding the stone carefully. "Just you
or—"
"No, no. Captain
Monaghan was watching over me." He let out an exaggerated sigh. "I
don't know why everyone has to keep an eye on me," Bill mumbled. "Oh,
be careful there, Daniel. There's an electric charge."
Daniel froze, taking a step
back from the monument, part of him wishing that Bill had supplied that
information earlier. "An electric charge?" he asked over his
shoulder.
"Magnetic, electric.
Even some solar readings. I've never seen anything like it." Daniel could
just imagine Bill's eyes sparkling. "I can't wait to take this baby
apart."
"Yeah, Bill. Maybe we
should wait until we know what it is," Daniel said. If being on SG-1 had
taught him one thing, it was that even unsuspecting items could be a problem.
Especially ones that could safely be labeled as having a "charge."
"Well, no, no. You
see—"
Suddenly, it dawned on
Daniel. "You didn't touch it, did you?"
"No, no. I…Well, no…uh,
yes."
Daniel just stared at him.
"Well, nothing
happened," Bill said defensively. "It didn't spark or anything."
Just like the quantum
mirror didn't do anything, Daniel
thought miserably. For all he knew, the Bill in front of him might not be the
right one.
"You didn't feel a
jolt? You feel fine…"
Bill's defensive posture
changed to one of annoyance. "I'm a trained scientist, Daniel. I took all
the necessary precautions. I've tested it, double checked it, and quantified
it."
Daniel could barely keep
himself from smiling. He couldn't help but feel a little like Jack right about
now. "You really have no idea, do you?"
"Well, I…no. But I
will," he added quickly.
Daniel nodded, but wasn't
sure he wanted to experience the means to get to that end.
After sneaking another
contemptuous look at Bill, Daniel shrugged off his pack and started to unpack
some of his equipment. Quietly, he withdrew a pad and a pencil, one of his
brushes, and a pair of gloves. After he snapped one of the gloves onto his
hands, he approached the object and surveyed the wall in its entirety.
Frowning, he looked over his shoulder to Bill. "Where are the
writings?"
Bill blinked at him.
"The what?"
"The glyphs,"
Daniel said, somewhat impatiently. "The reason why you called us
here."
"Oh, right,
right." Bill joined him quickly before squeezing between the object and
another part of the wall. "Right here," he said pointing to the lower
left corner of the wall. "It looks like writing of some kind."
Daniel leaned to his left, nearly
bumping into Bill as he studied the wall. Bill was right. Even though the
symbols were barely legible, it was definitely a form of writing.
"So, this is it?"
Daniel glanced over his left
shoulder to see Sam and Teal'c enter the room, or what was left of the room.
They were alone, which made Daniel guess that the rest of SG-20 remained
stationed at their makeshift base.
"Hey, Sam," Daniel
said. Vaguely, he motioned with his hand to the stone and the crumbling walls.
"Yeah, this is it."
Sam gave the most
imperceptible nod before slowly walking over to meet him. Though she didn't say
anything, Daniel could tell that Sam was thinking, her forehead creased with
that ever-present frown which had made a permanent home on her face since she'd
taken command. While it bothered him, Daniel knew he couldn't do anything to
unburden her, not now at least, so he opted to remain silent as he watched her
study the artifact.
Quietly, she stalked the
object, her gaze perusing its sloped body, down to the grooves where it met the
wall. She dipped her head, examining the underbelly of the object, before
straightening once again. Daniel didn't miss the not-so-subtle jerk of her hand
as she forced herself not to touch the stone.
"It's
crystallized," Sam said, the wrinkles in her forehead deepening. "The
patterns are evident right on the surface."
"I believe that is what
allows the object to build up energy," Bill told her.
Sam stole a quick look to
Daniel, then Teal'c, before settling on Bill. "Are you saying that this
object is a storage container for…"
"Bill says it gives off
an electrical discharge."
That brought Daniel a cold
glare from Bill.
Sam exchanged another glance
with Teal'c. "And you didn't report this to anyone?"
"Hey, I found the
object in question. I haven't had a chance to run all the necessary tests I
need to draw any real conclusions." Bill paused. "Once I found the
glyphs, I told the others and we called in for SG-1."
That answer seemed to
satisfy Sam for the moment, though Daniel could tell she wasn't happy.
"What kind of readings have you received from the stone?" she asked
instead.
Bill shrugged. "Various
measurements. Some audio frequencies." He nodded, more to himself than
anyone else, and held up a finger. "I-I have it." He hurried away from
the stone. "I have it right here."
Daniel watched the two of
them drift off to the far right of the ruined structure and hunch over to where
Bill had last dropped his stuff. That left Daniel to do what he did best.
Scooting closer to the
object and the wall, Daniel crouched low and withdrew his brush. Carefully, he
started to dust away some of the fine debris that had settled into the grooves
of the glyphic inscriptions. Oh yeah. Definitely good stuff here.
Daniel barely felt Teal'c
approach, nearly jumping when he heard his low but even voice. "Are you
able to read the symbols, Daniel Jackson?"
"Uh…well, they're worn,
but yeah," Daniel replied. He pivoted his body so he could see the rest of
them. "I recognize some of the glyphs."
"Can you make out what
it says?" Sam asked. She and Bill had moved to join them.
"Yeah, I think
so." Some of the symbols had corroded into nothing, but others remained
fully in tact. Daniel reached over for his notebook. "It may take some
time, though."
Probably not what Sam wanted
to hear, based on the silence that followed. Though, Daniel thought it was more
about her nature than displeasure over the mission; SG-20 had stumbled across
an alien junk pile, and Daniel was sure that Sam wanted at least a peek at it
while they were here.
"Are you sure it's
Ancient?" Sam asked.
Daniel smiled, unable to
help himself. "The writing's on the wall."
That at least caused Sam's
mood to lighten. It was a forced smile, but a smile nonetheless. She pressed
her lips together and gazed at him, urging him to continue.
"Yeah, it's definitely
Ancient," Daniel said. "Even familiar in some areas," he added
with a frown.
"How is this
familiar?" Teal'c asked him. "We have not encountered such a device
prior to coming to this planet."
"I don’t
know…"Daniel allowed his voice to trail off as he tried to remember where
he could have seen writing like this before. But his mind kept drawing a blank.
Though, he knew one thing. "I'd like to stay and see if I can figure out
this text," Daniel said. "Maybe it holds some clue about how to work
this-this…" He gestured vaguely to the stone.
"I don't know,
Daniel."
"It's okay, Sam. Bill
touched it and nothing happened," Daniel said, ignoring the exasperated
look on Bill's face. "It's just a guess, but I think you need an Ancient
gene to activate it."
"Just a guess,"
she repeated.
"Would it not be
prudent to allow for the scientists to continue their studies before we attempt
to activate the device?"
Daniel frowned at Teal'c, wishing
he wouldn't keep taking Sam's side when it came to off-world matters lately.
"I'm not suggesting we turn it on…or off," he quickly added to
himself. "But there could be something valuable within the text that might
tell us what this is or what it was used for."
"It could be a weapon,
or a transportation device, or maybe even a repository," Bill said
excitedly. Daniel guessed that all three of their faces showed some kind of
distress over that thought, since Bill quickly changed his tune. "Well, a
different, safer repository…" he added.
Sam seemed to consider the
possibilities before she glanced down at her watch. "I'm going to check in
with the general and give him a status report." She stopped, waiting for
some confirmation from Daniel.
Daniel smiled, having
already slid onto the floor, ready to dive into the translations. "I'm
good," he said, answering her silent question. Daniel didn't need Teal'c
to watch over him. He was a big boy now. Then, remembering Bill, he gazed at
him apologetically. "Sorry, Bill. I'm going to need some quiet."
He could tell Bill was
disappointed, but he didn't press the matter this time. And despite the fact
Sam and Teal'c still felt nervous since the Tegalus incident, they trusted
Daniel enough to let him do what he needed to do. It wasn't like Daniel made it
a habit to get into trouble. He didn't actively seek out objects and rub his
hands all over them, as some people at the SGC seemed to like to believe. That
was only sometimes. As far as Daniel was concerned, Jack had always been
the biggest problem off-world, not himself.
Grabbing his notebook,
satisfied with himself, Daniel gave a nod to Sam and Teal'c, assuring them that
everything would be fine.
"Fine" really was
a subjective word.
Daniel stared at the worn and
eroded glyphs, wondering if he had read them right. Frustrated, he flipped back
a couple of pages, and turned his notebook sideways to read what he'd scribbled
in the margins.
No, no…he was right.
The first word he'd stumbled
across had read "value." Or maybe "consequence," which
actually sounded much worse. There was the puzzling "three by three"
and the not-so-puzzling, albeit more disturbing, "danger."
But now?
"Dommo waitus, westol
notibilium," Daniel murmured aloud. "Master of the uncertain past."
He knew he had seen some of
the glyphs before. How could he forget their mission to P4X-639?
And considering what little
Daniel knew about that disaster, Daniel didn't feel like being stuck in a time
loop all by himself. He'd seen what that had done to Jack. He also had had the
worst morning imaginable, and he wasn't about to relive it for eternity.
"That's enough for
me," Daniel said, knowing the other inscriptions were too worn to go any
further anyway. Packing up his things, Daniel grabbed his bag and pushed onto a
stable part of the wall with his right hand for support.
There was a sudden hum and a
pop, and Daniel frowned, feeling a vibration tingle his hand and rise up his
arm.
He wasn't touching the wall.
He was touching the stone.
"Crap!"
Startled, he jerked his hand
away, rubbing it along the side of his pants to try to ease the prickly
sensations. He swore they were getting worse, which had to be bad. Very bad.
He fumbled for his radio
with his left hand, wincing as the pins and needles sensation extended over his
shoulder and down his side. He could feel it start to creep along his chest,
toward his heart, and up his neck.
What if it was a weapon? Why
hadn't anything happened to Bill?
Daniel gasped.
What the hell was that?
He heard a low murmur. A
mumble? No, they were words, a chant, and it was growing louder, clearer, as if
the words were imprinted into his mind. Latin…no, Ancient…in his mind.
Daniel's eyes widened; he found
he lacked the strength to even speak. Ancient chants running through his
head…Maybe Bill was right and this was another repository.
Daniel was both excited and
terrified at the same time. He was able to instantly translate the words.
The door to all; the door
to one. In the circle, time undone. Past embrace, future gone. Beware the
choice; the wishful come.
He heard
the words, louder, as they continued to repeat. But, unfortunately, the more
urgent the mantra became, the more his body wracked with pain and discomfort.
He fell
to his knees.
A thousand questions raced
through his mind. This couldn't be a repository…it just didn't fit. But, had
this been what Jack experienced every time he'd gone through a loop? Jack had
never mentioned it. Maybe Jack had
mentioned it and Daniel never remembered.
The door to all; the door
to one. In the circle, time undone. Past embrace, future gone. Beware the
choice; the wishful come.
He
gasped for air, tumbling to the ground as his body gave up on him. The tingling
had consumed him completely, while the incessant chanting continued to play
like a broken record in his mind.
Bill…what
had Daniel done that Bill hadn't?
The door to all; the door
to one. In the circle, time undone. Past embrace, future gone. Beware the
choice; the wishful come.
Uh-oh. He'd triggered the
device through deciphering the inscriptions. How could he be so stupid?
He moaned, feeling the
tingling seep into his ears.
The door to all; the door
to one. In the circle, time undone. Past embrace, future gone. Beware the
choice; the wishful come.
Then, he remembered another inscription
he'd come across. Something about revolutions. By three. Choice. Tries? Three
by three.
Oh, God, it hurt.
He thought of sun, of light.
Of better days. Days when he wasn't withering in pain on the floor in an
abandoned shrine. He thought of Sha're. He thought of barbeques at Jack's place
with Sam and Teal'c. He thought of Janet.
The door to all; the door
to one. In the circle, time undone. Past embrace, future gone. Beware the
choice; the wishful come.
It made
sense. The Ancients had tried again, only this time they'd created some kind of
machine, device, or whatever it was in order to change their recent past. That
had to be it.
Three by
three. Three choices. No, three tries by the three revolutions of the sun. This
sun…
Daniel
winced, quickly doing the math in his head. The days here were shorter, the
years shorter. More time passed here than on Earth. What had Sam said? The
difference…Approximately two years on Earth.
The door to all; the door
to one. In the circle, time undone. Past embrace, future gone. Beware the
choice; the wishful come.
Daniel
panted hard, struggling to breathe as his body started to fall into complete
paralysis.
What was he supposed to do?
Was he supposed to act on this information? Would that make the pain go away?
He couldn't change a thing
about himself. He couldn't remember. He wasn't sure he wanted to remember it
all, everything that had happened to him to bring him here. If he was going to
do something, he wanted to do something that would make a difference. He
couldn't save Sha're, not now. But he could…
Janet, he whispered inwardly, sending the stone his silent
plea. It was crazy for him to believe this would work, but most people thought
he was crazy anyway. He had nothing to lose.
Struggling against the black
spots that threatened to consume him, Daniel called outwardly with his mind.
Please don't let Janet
die.
The first thing that hit him
was the smell of burning flesh and fresh blood. The stomach-churning odor threw
Daniel as he tried to make sense of his surroundings and of himself. Gasping,
he withdrew his bloody hand and stared with disbelief at the body beneath him.
Simon Wells.
"Oh, God," Daniel
muttered, feeling himself grow cold.
"Tell me the
truth," Simon said, panting. "I'm not gonna make it, right?"
Daniel didn't know what to
say. He didn't know what to do. This wasn't happening. This couldn't be
happening.
Stunned, he stared at the IV
in his hand and then back to Simon. "You're gonna be fine…" he heard himself
say automatically.
"Doctor Jackson!
Please! Please!" Simon cried out, his voice full of panic. "Just let
me tell my wife. Let me tell my wife that…"
He found himself looking up,
over to his side. And there she was. God, she was there. Real, alive.
Daniel held back the raw
shock he felt as he shared a moment with her. One of her final moments.
He had to warn her. He had
to save her.
"Okay! Okay,"
Daniel found himself saying instead. He felt strange, as if he wasn't in
control of his own body, a mere observer forced to watch yet another tragedy
unfold from his past. He couldn't live like this.
Daniel handed Janet the IV
and fumbled for his camera.
Not the camera! he cried to himself. Warn her! Tell her what is
going to happen!
But he went about readying
the camera anyway, focusing on Simon as Janet continued to work on saving his
life. "Got it ... breathe, Simon ... It's okay, Simon..."
"I'm so sorry about
this…love you so much." Simon cried in pain. "God, I just--I just
wanted…" He wailed, his pain tearing through Daniel, reminding him how raw
and painful this job could be, reminding him of the heavy losses he'd suffered.
"God-God shut it off. Shut it off, I don't want her to see me die. Please,
God."
Daniel hesitated for a moment
with the camera, and he wondered if he was now given the chance to make a
difference. Heart pounding, he gazed over to Janet, trying to will her to see
the urgency in his face.
Janet caught his gaze, but
immediately went back to her patient. "Simon, Simon! Look at me you are
not going to die, okay? I did not come all the way out here for nothing. Now
we've stemmed the bleeding. We're going get you to a stretcher. We're going to
get you home with your family in no time, okay? Now, you hang in there airman."
Simon breathed out. "Yes, Ma'am."
Then, before he could say
anything, it happened. It happened again.
Daniel tried to cry out, but
the blast came quickly. There was a bright light, and a scream of sheer agony,
and in the longest moment Daniel had ever felt, Janet was on the ground, her
chest burning from the staff blast.
Simon was the first to
speak. "Oh God, what happened?" Daniel ignored the sound of gunfire
behind him. "Is she hit?"
Panting, Daniel tossed the
camera aside, leaning over Janet, trying to do something.
God, he couldn't live
through this again. Not again. Not when he'd never had the chance to say what
he needed to say.
"I got him!"
Bosworth called from somewhere nearby.
But Daniel didn't care.
"Janet!!"
Bosworth was talking again.
Why couldn't he just shut the hell up?
"You're clear Doctor
Jackson, sorry but…"
"I need a medic.
Fraiser's been hit. I need a medic," he found himself saying.
He felt as if the staff
blast had cut through his body. Frantic, he started to search for a pulse.
"Is she okay?"
Simon asked.
Daniel couldn't answer him.
God, this was a nightmare. "Sierra Gulf Niner ... ugh, I need a
medic!"
Where the hell were all the
damn medics!
"Jack!" he called
into the radio. "Order a medic here! I need a medic!"
Once again, Daniel, nearly
in hysterics, searched for a pulse on Janet's motionless form. Maybe he'd
misinterpreted the device. Maybe he was all wrong and he would be tortured into
relieving this day for all time. Maybe…
Her eyes were closed. They
weren't supposed to be closed. They weren't…
Daniel felt someone grab him
from behind, pulling him to his feet. "Let's get Fraiser and Wells
stabilized. Jackson's in shock. Let's go."
After that, everything was a
blur to Daniel. He remembered screams, fire, shuffling, as they were pushed to
the Gate. To be honest, he couldn’t tell what was the same or what had changed.
The chaos and the numbness he felt seemed to blur the lines of reality, jumping
back and forth between today and yesterday.
Daniel found himself in the
infirmary.
"No, Doctor Jackson,
please remain seated."
Daniel blinked at the young
woman, a nurse that frequented the base. He felt like he should know her name,
but he didn't. He always made it a point to know people's names.
"Who are you?" he
asked her.
She eyed him carefully;
Daniel was certain he saw a glimmer of anxiety in her eyes. "You don't
remember me?"
Daniel sighed and dropped
his head into his hands. He could honestly say he didn't care.
"I'll get Doctor
Carmichael."
Daniel kept his head bowed.
All around him he could hear the sounds of a bustling infirmary, nurses and
doctors rushing about, trying to keep the casualty count down. Daniel couldn't
even remember how many people they'd lost that day. He felt ashamed.
"Ah, Doctor
Jackson," Doctor Carmichael said. Daniel wondered how he could sound so
cheerful. "Do you know who I am?"
They thought he was nuts.
"Of course," he replied. "And I know who I am and what's
happened. You don't have to ask."
"How're you
feeling?"
"Wonderful,"
Daniel muttered, raising his head. "My friend's been shot and she's lying
on her deathbed. All in all, it's been a good day."
Carmichael didn't bother to
hide the displeasure on his face. But there was also confusion. "Doctor
Fraiser is going to be fine. But I want you, and everyone else, to take it
easy."
Daniel hadn't gotten past
the word "fine." "Janet's okay?"
Doctor Carmichael smiled
softly. "Yes, she—"
Daniel jumped off the gurney
and brushed past him, heading for the exit. He quickly apologized to one of the
doctors, whom he had nearly knocked over, and charged out the door.
He could hear Carmichael
calling out after him, but he didn't care. He had to see for himself.
Daniel jogged into one of
the other rooms in the infirmary, squeezing past a couple of protesting doctors
to find the gurney where Janet had been lying. He remembered it like it was
yesterday, or today, technically, and how time seemed to have stood still.
Through the hectic bustle and heartache of that day, Daniel had felt alone,
like a zombie. There had been nowhere for him to turn, nowhere for him to go.
Holding his breath, Daniel
stepped forward and approached the bedside. She was there. Janet lay still with
a dozen or so machines hooked up to her body. She looked as lost as he felt.
Quietly, he took her hand
and squeezed it, refusing to look at the medical equipment and gazed through
them only to her. "Janet," he whispered.
She didn't stir, which
caused a wave of doubt to flood Daniel. Maybe Carmichael was wrong. Maybe they
had lost her again. He couldn't go through that again. He couldn't keep losing
the people whom he loved.
"Janet," he
whispered again. "It's Daniel. Please…"
Then, she opened her eyes.
To him.
In that moment, Daniel felt as
if everything had suddenly become right in the world. She was alive. Now, he
knew it. She was alive.
He laughed, a nervous laugh
of joy and relief. He wanted to hug her, tell her everything would be all
right. He wanted to tell her everything that had been on his mind for so long.
He settled for holding her
hand, to standing by her side, and reassuring her that he wouldn't leave her
behind. As she gazed at him, for that brief moment, he thought she understood,
a flicker of a smile passing over her pale lips. Quietly, she shut them and
drifted back to sleep.
"Doctor Jackson, you're
going to have to move," Doctor Nichols told him. "She may be out of
the woods, but I want supervision on her at all times."
Daniel nodded, though he
felt slightly guilty for leaving Janet alone. He took a tentative step back,
and then another, allowing for the medical team to do what they needed to do.
It didn't matter. Janet
would be fine. Janet was alive.
After permitting himself
another long gaze at Janet, Daniel shoved his hands in his pockets and started
for the exit. He would come back later when the medical team felt confident
enough that she could take visitors, and after that he wouldn't leave again.
Not until he made sure he wasn't dreaming.
Satisfied, Daniel started
down the hall, making his way back to the next part of the infirmary. Yet, his
thoughts wandered. What would happen? Would things change now? Daniel ran over
the possible scenarios in his head. He knew little about time travel, and cared
less about the repercussions than the actual act itself. He wondered if he
would relive the coming months the same way, if he'd retain his memories of the
future or if they would slip away. He knew that some things would have to
change, and others would stay the same. In the end, he realized he just didn't
care as long as everyone was all right, so it didn't matter if he couldn't
grasp how deep the changes could be.
Silently, Daniel considered
all of these feelings, so deeply lost in thought he didn't see Sam until he crashed
into her. Surprised, he stumbled back, banging into the wall behind him. Sam
was quick to gather her bearings, but turned her face away from him.
"Sam?" he asked
confused. She was crying. Tentatively, he reached out and touched her shoulder.
"Sam?"
"Oh, Daniel," she
said, throwing her arms around him. Daniel was taken aback by her, but drew her
into an uneasy hug nonetheless. He could feel her sobs dampening his jacket.
He held her for a few
minutes, letting her cry while he rubbed her back soothingly. Finally, he
squeezed her and whispered softly to her. "It's going to be all
right."
She sniffled and sobbed
again. "It will never be right again."
"Janet's going to be
okay."
She nodded into him, offering
one more sob before she released her hold on his jacket. She seemed to regain
her composure for a minute, wiping the tears from her eyes.
"You don't know,"
she whispered, her voice cracking.
"Don't know? Don't know
what?"
Sam went to open her mouth,
but she didn't say anything. She just stared at him, a bleak, cold hollowness
gaping back at him.
The same sense of
helplessness and dread that he'd felt when this whole thing started began to
build in the pit of his stomach again. Taking a step back, unwilling to read
the hard reality in her grim features, Daniel stalked past Sam and headed into
the infirmary.
As he walked, his pace
became more urgent, before finally he broke into a run. Daniel dashed down the
hall, violently pushing anyone that dared get in his way. He heard the shouts,
the calls behind him as doctors and SF's alike started to rush after him.
He didn't care. He just
didn't give a damn any longer.
Daniel charged into the
room, halting when he saw the still body lying on the gurney. He found he could
no longer move, his horrible gaze transfixed onto the lifeless form.
"I'm sorry, Doctor
Jackson," he heard Doctor Warner say from somewhere behind him.
"No," Daniel
whispered, grabbing onto the table at the end up the gurney to support his
weakened limbs. "No, it's a joke. A joke."
The looks of pity that were
flung his way made Daniel want to puke.
He turned away, his body wrought with distress.
From across the room, Teal'c
gazed at him, his eyes moist. "Daniel Jackson…"
Daniel shook his head,
trying to fight the nervous ticks that were overcoming his body. He touched his
face. He paced in a circle. He refused eye contact with anyone in the room.
Finally, he couldn't take
the agony any more. With his jaw set, his
body tense, Daniel marched to the side of the bed, and ripped back the sheet.
Jack remained motionless,
his eyes open and empty, his entire being lifeless.
"Move!" Daniel
yelled at him. "Move!!"
Jack wouldn't move. He
stayed there. Dead. He was dead. He needed to move.
Daniel shook him, trying to
will him to blink, to breathe, to do something. Just move. "Jack," he
said, still shaking him. "Please get up, Jack."
"Daniel." Sam's
hand came to his shoulder. She was crying again. "Daniel…"
"No," he said, his
voice firm. "He was wearing the-the…"
"The armor does not
appear to be one hundred percent effective," Teal'c said.
Really, Daniel thought, releasing Jack's cold wrist. He walked away, rubbing his face, trying to
figure out what to do next. What could he do?
"Daniel," Sam said
again, easing up next to him.
He pushed her away from him,
turning away as he fought against the tremors that shook his body. Hands laced
behind his head, Daniel paced, unable to come to terms with what he saw.
It wasn't real. None of this
could be real.
"You're sick!" he
yelled, livid. He ignored the painful and stunned expressions of the people
around him. "You're all sick! You expect me to choose? Is that it? How is
that fair?"
"Doctor Jackson, please
calm yourself," Doctor Warner warned. "Just sit down, we'll have
someone—"
"What? No!" He
turned his back to them and walked to another corner of the room, needing to be
as far away from Jack as possible. He started to laugh. "Is that it?
Beware the choice? That is what this is about?"
He turned again, struck by
the horror in Sam's face. "Daniel, don't…"
They thought he was crazy.
Perfect.
"Danger.
Consequence." How could the Ancients be that cruel? "It makes sense.
Oh, God," he held his head in his hands. "It's my fault."
"The Goa'uld are to
blame, Daniel Jackson. This is not your doing."
"I killed him,"
Daniel whispered, staring at the floor. "I killed him. It's my
fault." He gazed up at Sam and Teal'c. "Don't you see? I'm so sorry.
Oh, God, I killed him."
"Call Doctor
MacKenzie," he heard Doctor Warner whisper to one of the nurses. "And
prepare…"
Daniel knew what that meant.
Angry, he grabbed onto one of the trays and knocked it over, causing dozens of
medical instruments to crash to the floor. Instantly, the SF's in the room came
to attention while Sam and Teal'c started to make their way over to him.
But it didn’t matter. He'd
just lost someone he loved for someone else he loved. Who would be next? Sam?
Teal'c?
"I don't want
this," he muttered. "No, just put it back."
The medical personnel were
closing in on him now, Sam and Teal'c with them. Daniel saw the syringe. He
backed away.
This couldn’t be it. He
couldn't trade one life for another, no matter how much he loved Janet. She
would have never wanted it that way. It wasn't fair. It wasn't fair to Janet or
Jack.
They were on him now, trying
to restrain him. Daniel shouted, fighting them with everything he had in him.
No, it wasn't going to end this way.
Three by three…he remembered
those words. Three chances. Three tries. Maybe? He could hope. He could wish.
The wishful come.
"Put it back!" he
cried, struggling against the soldiers that were holding him down. "Put it
back! I won't swap one for the other! Give me another try! Just no!" He sobbed,
relaxing into the arms of the one medical assistant as the liquid was shot into
his arm.
"Put it back! Give me
another chance!" he shouted into the darkness.
Daniel didn't know how long
he'd been unconscious, but it couldn't have been long enough for anyone to
worry. Slowly, he lifted his head, blinking away the black spots, as he tried
to bring his mind back to full awareness. He felt strangely ill, though he
wasn't sure if it was all that he'd just been through, or if he was coming down
with something. His right hand itched. His head felt foggy. But some of the
strangeness he felt began to lift. As he became more focused, he started to
gather his bearings. To his side, he saw his pack and his glasses. There was
dust, dirt, trees…With a groan, he carefully sat up and rubbed his eyes.
He was back in the ruined
shrine.
He remained quiet, paralyzed
by panic. He couldn't know for sure that this reality was the reality he needed
it to be. For all he knew, Jack could still be dead. Janet could still be dead.
Anyone could be dead and he wouldn't know.
His gaze fell to his pack
again. Sliding over to it, he picked up his glasses, slipping them on his face,
and opened up the main compartment. His supplies and some of his books were
stashed inside, but he was looking for one annoying object in particular. The
one thing that would tell him what was happening.
Slowly, Daniel withdrew the
small homing beacon, shaking his head as he rubbed his thumb over the top of
it. As a joke, and a rather unfunny one, Jack had tossed a homing beacon into
his stuff this morning. Daniel had pretended not to notice; he had planned to
turn the tables on Jack once they returned back through the Stargate.
He clutched it tightly. That
meant…
Daniel sighed, bowing his
head, finally allowing himself to sob. His cries were cries not only of relief,
but also of sadness.
He'd lost Janet again. He'd
broken his silent promise to her that he wouldn't leave her behind. He'd traded
her life away.
His gaze darted to the
stone. Innocent, cold and hard, it remained in front of him, a temptation,
calling him to try again.
Soundlessly, Daniel rose to
his feet, careful not to throw off his equilibrium. He still felt weak, though
he was unsure if it was due to the effects of the device, or the stress over
what he'd just experienced. Either way, he knew that he wouldn't be beaten.
He stood in front of the
stone. As far as Daniel could tell, it seemed to still be activated. Now that
he was closer, Daniel could see that it was vibrating, a low hum erupting from
somewhere within the device. There even seemed to be a faint glow surrounding
the borders.
"Three by three,"
he said in a low voice. "Time to see if I'm right."
He reached out his right hand
and pressed it against the now-warm slick surface. He heard a pop; his hand
felt warm as tiny pricks poked at his skin. The tingling sensation crept up his
arm, following the same pattern it had the last time. Sucking in a deep breath,
Daniel let himself go, his body overwhelmed with the terrifying feeling of
powerlessness. It stretched all over him, stabbing at his mind. The spots
returned and he felt his knees buckle.
The chant began once again.
The door to all; the door
to one. In the circle, time undone. Past embrace, future gone. Beware the
choice; the wishful come.
Not willing to make the same
mistake twice, Daniel tried a different approach.
Please, he pleaded. No more loss of life. Please, let
Janet survive.
Once again, Daniel felt
off-kilter, disoriented and confused, as the world faded from a lone and empty
shrine of time long gone, into a portrait of chaos, blood, and cries for
forgiveness. The abrupt snap of reality
caused Daniel to tilt, and he had to fight to stay conscious. He blinked.
No…
He was back.
He was back with Simon
Wells.
"Oh, God," Daniel
muttered, feeling himself grow cold.
"Tell me the
truth," Simon said, panting. "I'm not gonna make it, right?"
This was worse than déjà vu.
He was stuck, like reliving his darkest moments in the Gamekeeper's chair, only
this was worse, a nightmare of his own making. Daniel found that he didn't know
what to say. He didn't know what to do. This wasn't happening. This couldn't be
happening.
He wanted Janet to live, to
survive, not to have died so suddenly and so cruelly. It wasn't fair.
He didn't want to keep
reliving this moment.
Finding himself running
through the motions again, he stared at the IV in his hand and then back to
Simon. "You're gonna be fine…" he heard himself say automatically.
"Doctor Jackson!
Please! Please!" Simon cried out, his voice full of panic. "Just let
me tell my wife. Let me tell my wife that…"
He found himself looking up,
over to his side. And there she was. God, she was there. All over again.
Living, breathing, alive.
He had to warn her this
time. He had to save her.
"Okay! Okay,"
Daniel said. His body refused to act in accord with his mind. He handed Janet
the IV and fumbled for his camera.
No! Not again! he yelled in his mind.
But, of course, he went
about readying the camera anyway, focusing on Simon as Janet continued to work
on saving his life. "Got it ... breathe, Simon ... It's okay,
Simon..."
"I'm so sorry about
this…love you so much." Simon cried in pain. "God, I just--I just
wanted…" He wailed, his pain tearing through Daniel, reminding him how raw
and painful this job could be, reminding him of the heavy losses he'd suffered.
"God-God shut it off. Shut it off, I don't want her to see me die. Please,
God."
Daniel hesitated for a
moment with the camera, and again he felt like he had a chance to make a
difference. Heart pounding, he quickly glanced at Janet, struggling to force
his hand to reach out, to pull her out of the way.
Janet caught his gaze, but
immediately went back to her patient. "Simon, Simon! Look at me you are
not going to die, okay? I did not come all the way out here for nothing. Now
we've stemmed the bleeding. We're gonna get you to a stretcher. We're going to
get you home with your family in no time, okay? Now, you hang in there
airman."
Simon breathed out. "Yes, Ma'am."
Then, it was over.
Daniel tried to cry out, but
the blast came quickly. The light was blinding, her cry of agony maddening. And
before he had a chance to fully process what had happened, Janet was on the
ground, her chest burning from the staff blast.
Simon gasped. "Oh God,
what happened?" Gunfire echoed behind them. "Is she hit?"
Panting, Daniel tossed the camera
aside, leaning over Janet, searching desperately for a pulse. It was happening
all over again. How was this helpful? What did this prove?
"I got him!"
Bosworth called from somewhere nearby.
Daniel didn't care.
"Janet!!"
Bosworth was talking again.
The man needed to shut the hell up.
"You're clear Doctor
Jackson, sorry but…"
"I need a medic.
Fraiser's been hit. I need a medic," he found himself saying again.
"Is she okay?"
Simon asked.
Daniel couldn't answer him.
Daniel wouldn't answer him. God…"Sierra Gulf Niner ... ugh, I need a
medic!"
Daniel wished he had
intensive medical training. He was going to make it a point to learn.
He went for his radio,
paling when he remembered what happened last time. Despite knowing he wouldn't
get a response, he grabbed the radio and started yelling into the radio anyway.
"Jack!" he called
into the radio. "Jack? Anyone? I need a medic!"
Daniel didn't want to do
this anymore. It was too much. He coughed, felt his head fog, and his limbs
grow numb. He gazed at Janet's unmoving body.
Her eyes were closed. Again,
they weren't supposed to be closed. They weren't…
Daniel felt someone grab him
from behind, pulling him to his feet. "Let's get Fraiser and Wells
stabilized. Jackson's in shock. Let's go."
After that, everything was a
blur to Daniel. He kept hearing the screams, pleas, and cries. He saw the fire.
Weapons. He felt the heat of the battle. But he didn't know what was new and
what was old, whether he was reliving the same events or if something had
changed. He was just an actor in an unfolding drama.
Daniel found himself in the
infirmary.
"No, Doctor Jackson,
please remain seated."
Daniel blinked at the young
woman, a nurse that frequented the base. Her name was Stacey. He remembered her
name.
"Stacey, I'm all
right." Daniel sighed and dropped his head into his hands. "Please
look at the other people. Please."
She patted his knee.
"I'll see if I can have you cleared."
Daniel kept his head bowed.
It was surreal…all around him he could hear the sounds of a bustling infirmary,
nurses and doctors rushing about, trying to keep the casualty count down.
Daniel didn't want to remember how many people they'd lost that day. He felt
guilty.
"Ah, Doctor
Jackson," Doctor Carmichael said. Daniel scowled at the doctor's
cheerfulness. "How're you feeling?"
Daniel didn't reply this
time. He raised his head and glared at Doctor Carmichael, telling him just
exactly how he felt.
The doctor didn't bother to
hide the displeasure on his face. "I'm willing to release you, but I want
you to take it easy."
"Just tell me how they
are." He didn't care to try to be formal anymore. "Tell me about Jack
and Janet."
Doctor Carmichael appeared
nervous. "I'm not sure—"
"Just tell me,"
Daniel said impatiently.
"Colonel O'Neill is
going to be fine," the doctor told him. "Doctor Warner told me that
he took a good blow to the chest, but that new armor seemed to protect him from
the brunt of the impact. He's in recovery room C."
Daniel let out a sigh of relief,
rubbing his tired eyes beneath his glasses. Jack was okay. Jack was going to be
fine.
"And Janet?"
"She survived."
The words caught Daniel by
surprise. Gaping at Doctor Carmichael, he searched his face for the truth. It
was there. In black and white. Janet had survived.
Daniel jumped off the gurney
and brushed past him, heading for the exit. He could hear Carmichael calling
out after him, but he didn't care. He had to see for himself. He had to make
sure that Janet was alive. Living and breathing. Alive.
But first, Daniel headed to
recovery room C. He squeezed past a doctor, two nurses, and a group of medical
assistants that were crowding Jack's room. He apologized to a poor older woman
that he nearly toppled, but he just had to see Jack.
Finally breaking free,
Daniel slipped to the side of the bed. Now, that sigh of relief really took
hold and he grabbed the metal bars on the gurney for support. Jack was there,
eyes closed, but breathing, his chest rising and falling as the monitors kept
track of his vitals. Teal'c remained by his side.
"He will be well once
again," Teal'c informed Daniel.
"Thank God,"
Daniel muttered. Holding back the tears, Daniel coughed, and patted Jack's arm.
He couldn't help but smile. Everything was going to okay.
"Where's Sam?"
Daniel asked.
"I believe she is with
Doctor Fraiser," Teal'c replied.
That was all Daniel needed
to know. After a small nod to Teal'c, Daniel started for the room that had held
Janet in his last attempt at changing the past.
Janet had survived. Jack had
survived. Teal'c and Sam were okay.
It all was too much. It was
too good to be true.
But wasn't that what the
device was for? It was creating second chances and to be able to right things
that went wrong.
Daniel felt as if he'd been given
the chance to tell Janet exactly how he felt. He needed her to understand how
much he'd always appreciated her compassion, her professionalism, her
determination, and her friendship.
Deep down, he hoped that
there could be more.
Taking a deep breath, Daniel
entered Janet's room, passing by the attending physicians, immediately drawn to
her still form spread out on top of the gurney. She seemed so fragile, so tiny,
layered with sheets and connected to dozens of machines and gadgets. Daniel
stepped forward and approached the bedside. She looked as lost as he felt.
Quietly, he took her hand
and squeezed it, refusing to look at the medical equipment and gazed through
them only to her. "Janet," he whispered.
She didn't respond, not even
a flutter of her eyelids. The reaction, or lack of reaction, caused Daniel to
frown. He inched over a little closer. Gently, he pressed his other hand to her
shoulder.
"Janet."
But she wouldn't open her
eyes. She wouldn't move.
"Janet," he
whispered again. "It's Daniel. Please…"
No matter what he said, he
could seem to rouse her. Puzzled, and a little frightened, Daniel took a step
back, looking over to the doctors for some answers. "What's going on?
What's wrong?" he asked.
The doctors said nothing.
They started at him, stared at him with their pity filled gazes.
"What?" he asked,
this time more slowly and with suspicion. Janet had survived.
His gaze lingered on the
doctors for a moment before he finally caught sight of Sam in the crowd. She
hung back, far from the action, in the left hand corner. He could tell by her
reddened face and her puffy eyes that she'd been crying. But not only was she
sad, she was also nervous. Sam remained quiet while she chewed on one of her
nails.
"Sam?" Daniel
asked hesitantly.
But instead of answering
him, she shook her head and turned away, breaking into another sob.
Daniel's stomach flopped.
Jack was okay. They told him Jack was okay. Janet was okay.
"Janet?" he asked
softly.
"I'm sorry, Doctor
Jackson," Doctor Nichols said.
His gaze darted over to the
monitor, watching it track her beating heart. She was attached to machine upon
machine, but her chest was rising and falling. "What," he stated more
than asked, an edge to his voice.
Doctor Nichols looked like
he wanted to be anywhere but there. "There's no easy way to say
this," he said softly. "Janet Fraiser is in a persistent vegetative
state."
Daniel stared at him in
disbelief. What? That didn't make any sense. Janet had received a blow to the
chest, not the head. She couldn't. No. It didn't make any sense.
"What does her chest
have to do with her brain?" he asked angrily.
Nichols shifted
uncomfortably. "She coded as soon as we got her into the operating room.
Her brain was deprived of oxygen and we couldn't get her stabilized
right—"
"No!" Daniel told
him. It wasn't supposed to be like this. This was ridiculous. Stuff like this
didn't happen this fast. Not to them. "You're wrong."
"I'm sorry, but—"
"Sorry?" Daniel
laughed at him. "You're not sorry." Narrowing his eyes, he glared
venomously at the people in the room. "None of you are."
"Doctor Jackson!"
General Hammond bristled as he walked into the room. "That's enough. You
know, as much as I do, that the good people here have done everything they can
for Doctor Fraiser."
Hi voice was firm, but laced
with an ache and understanding Daniel knew was geared solely for him. Everyone
knew how Daniel felt. Really, it was no big secret on base. But that didn't
make the pain go away.
He was beginning to dislike
the Ancients. Why would they create something duplicitous? Why, with all their
vast knowledge, would they torture people like this? Was it broken like the
time machine had been on P4X-639?
Daniel grabbed Janet's hand
and held it close as he bowed his head. She wasn't cold, but her fingers lacked
the warm loving touch that had burned itself into his memory. It was the kind
of touch that he'd always seen as the physical manifestation of her smile and
her sunshine. He'd never be able to experience that again.
"What's going to happen
to her?" he whispered.
"Doctor Fraiser…stated
in her will that she didn't want to be kept alive by artificial means,"
General Hammond said.
"Of course not,"
Daniel muttered. "Why would the device give that option?"
"Excuse me?"
Daniel didn't answer him.
He heard General Hammond
start to talk about loss and duty, but Daniel had long tuned him out. All he
could think about was how close he was to Janet, and yet how very far he was to
ever recapturing their past. She'd always been there for them, all of them, and
would work so hard to keep this base healthy and in form. She'd saved his life,
everyone's life, so many times. How fair was it for her to be taken away so
abruptly?
It wasn't fair. It wasn't
fair to him.
He'd lost so many people.
Why did he have to lose her, too? Why couldn't, for once, something go right
for him?
They didn't have to adhere
to Janet's will. There could be the chance that one day she'd break out of her
coma. One day, she could be back and running on base, just like it had always
been. The medical field was full of surprises.
If not, at least she was
alive. Janet would never know.
"Keep her alive,"
he whispered. "I need her alive."
"Doctor Jackson…"
Daniel shook his head at
Hammond, refusing to look at the general. He was barely holding it together,
and he wasn't about to lose his resolve. "No," he said. "I don't
care. Just keep her alive."
"What kind of life
would you live?" General Hammond asked. "You would spend every day
waiting for her to open her eyes and feel like a failure when she didn't."
He felt General Hammond hover close to him. "Is it really fair on her?
Son, you can't live like that, and neither can Doctor Fraiser."
Was it really fair on her? Daniel
pondered that question as he stared at her broken body.
Janet would likely never
walk again, talk again, or have her own mind. The mind is what Daniel valued
the most in people, the mind and its capacity for love and compassion.
But could he just…he
couldn't agree to end her life. He couldn't do something like that.
Daniel brought her hand to
his lips and squeezed his eyes shut. He allowed his mind to drift back to that
day. This day.
You know I died in this room?
Ascended. Doctor Fraiser did everything she could. I mean, she went three days
without sleep. Even in the end she didn't want to let me go.
But she did. Jack had told
her to let him go. To hold onto Daniel would have been selfish. Jack, Janet,
Selmak, everyone, had respected his wish and let him go.
This wasn't about her, then,
was it? It was about him. It was his selfish needs, his inability to let go. It
wasn't fair to Daniel. It was what Daniel needed.
How could she ever be happy
this way? No, Janet had died and Daniel was holding onto fleeting memories. In
the end, Daniel had never respected her wishes.
"Let me say
goodbye," he whispered. He knew that the room thought he was talking to
them, but he was in fact trying to make the device understand. "Just let
me say goodbye."
Quietly, Daniel kissed her
knuckles and made his peace. He was unashamed of the tears that soaked his
cheeks. He had to move past her death so that they could both move on.
He let go as she slipped
away from him.
When Daniel awoke, he found
himself back on the floor of the shrine. It was cold and dirty. He even thought
he felt something crawling beneath him.
He really didn't care.
Daniel decided to just stay
there a moment and gaze into the afternoon sky. Once, probably millennia ago,
there had been a ceiling here. He could imagine that it was gilded and ornate,
but simple and elegant, unlike the opulence of the Goa'uld. But that ceiling
was long gone, and the ruins were open, providing an unobstructed view of the
sky above him.
The sky…he found it
peaceful, a mix of blue and purple, calm but mournful. It was vast and open,
both awe-inspiring and comforting.
Daniel found the sky read
like a poem. He didn't normally feel poetic. Unless it was Dynastic Egyptian letters
and charms, or served as some insight into a people's culture, he didn't find
poetry very interesting. But today, today the sky held meaning for him. It
symbolized a moment in time and encapsulated a particular emotion, like waffles
connected him to his family.
Sometimes you have to let go
of the people you love so that they could be free. He had done that for Sha're,
and now he would do it for Janet. He wasn't sure if he believed in the
traditional notions of the soul, or anything that had to do with spirituality
and religion, but if Janet's spirit lived on somewhere, he hoped that she was
happy.
Happiness. That's all he
really wanted for her.
Suddenly, Daniel sat up, as
he remembered something.
Three by three.
Technically, if he was
right, he had one chance left. The thought niggled at the back of Daniel's mind
until finally he was able to force himself to stand. His legs were shaking, and
he seemed to have developed a series of light tremors in his body, but he was
well enough to walk. Carefully, he made his way back to the device, staring it
down for one last time.
He could try again. He could
rephrase things and make it so that Janet was alive and with him. He knew this
was a possibility. It tempted him more than anyone could possibly imagine.
But where would it leave
him? With the world destroyed? Sam dead? Teal'c maimed? The truth was that this
one last chance could undo everything.
That, in turn, wouldn't
bring happiness to Janet.
Sighing, Daniel stared at
the device and knew what he had to do. He held his breath, calmed his nerves,
and touched the stone.
For the third time, he heard
the hum and felt the tingling prickle his fingertips. Soon, it would course
through his pain, overcome him, and beat him into submitting the final words. Though,
this time Daniel felt resolved. Swallowing hard, he focused his thoughts and
wished for the final time.
The door to all; the door
to one. In the circle, time undone. Past embrace, future gone. Beware the
choice; the wishful come.
Please, he said, his voice echoing in his mind. Wherever
she is, let Janet be happy.
The device snapped; the
stone cooled and stilled. It was done.
All his energy spent, Daniel
felt an inward collapse, and fell to his knees. He felt dizzy and weak, almost sick.
Black spots danced in front of his eyes and the tremors became fiercer. But,
now that it was done, he was satisfied.
There were no crazy trips to
the past, real or imagined. There was no more tampering with events that had
already happened and no more toying with emotions and people. It was over now,
and he could rest.
For an indeterminate about
of time, Daniel sat there, fighting off the cold sweat and malaise he was
feeling. He wondered about the device, what its true function was, how it might
have been used before, and what it signified now. The artifact, a device of
time or imagination used by the Ancients, was a dangerous thing. He knew, just
by his experiences today, how easily things could be warped—people, past
events, circumstances. He knew how the military would use it.
Daniel couldn't allow that
to happen.
Quietly, Daniel reached for
the zat that was hooked to his belt and carefully unhooked it. Without
hesitating, Daniel fired up the weapon and aimed for the stone, zatting once,
twice. From where he sat, he could hear the popping and the hissing of whatever
ran the device as it died. The moment was exhilarating. Finally, Daniel let a
third discharge free, and the object vanished into thin air.
Janet could finally be
happy.
"Daniel!"
Without a sound, Daniel
remained on the floor, staring at the hole where the stone had been embedded
into the wall. The ruins looked rather funny now that the device was gone.
"Daniel!"
Upon hearing his name called
for the second time, Daniel turned his dizzy head to focus on Sam. She was
either angry or scared, but he couldn't tell. He needed his glasses.
"Where are my
glasses?" he asked her.
"They are on your face,
Daniel Jackson."
After catching a glimpse of
Teal'c, Daniel touched his face. He winced. Slowly, he brought his right hand a
way from his face, surprised to see splotches and sores forming on his palm.
If Sam hadn't been angry or
scared before, she was now. "What happened?" she demanded.
Daniel never had the chance to
answer. The zat slid out of his lap and Daniel collapsed into darkness.
"He's clean, Sir."
Daniel moaned, turning his
head to the side to follow the sound of voices. He heard more than one,
floating and drifting somewhere nearby. Slowly, he opened his eyes, finding the
blobs hovering to his right.
"What?" he asked.
Daniel hadn't finished
uttering the question when Sam, Teal'c, and Jack were on top of him.
"It's about time,"
Jack muttered, fully adorned in his not-happy face. "Are you trying to get
yourself killed? Or is this your way of getting even at me for breaking that
weird little bowl of yours?"
Daniel stared at him. Jack
had broken his new Peruvian vessel?
"You did what?"
"Nevermind."
"Are you okay?" Sam asked, sliding up to his bedside.
She offered the perfect reprieve from Jack's ever-present scowl, though Daniel
knew he'd have to confess sooner or later. Later worked better for him, he
decided.
"I…think so,"
Daniel said. In truth, he wasn't okay. Not after all the pain he'd just been
through. Though, he knew that it was his decision to keep tempting fate, and
now he had to live with what he'd done. "How long have I been out?"
"Long enough,"
Jack said.
"We had a radiation
scare," Sam informed him. "We needed to bring you back to be examined."
Daniel glanced down at his
right hand, which, by now, was fully cleaned and bandaged. "Oh," was
all Daniel could offer. That would be why they looked more nervous than usual.
"The doctors say you're
fine," Sam added. "The burns on your hand will heal in time."
"Yeah, and would you
mind telling us why you have burns in the first place?" Jack asked him.
Daniel worked his tongue
over the bottom of his lip as he considered Jack's question. "Yeah, about
that…"
"Yeah," Jack
mimicked. "So, spill."
As much as Daniel wanted to
tell them everything that had happened, he felt that his experience was a truly
personal one. What could he tell them? That he had been forced to choose
between Jack and Janet? That he had found a way to keep Janet alive, but chose
to let her die instead? How could he even begin to have them understand?
"It was a weapon,"
Daniel said, hoping his lie wasn't far from the truth. "Some kind of weapon used by the
Ancients."
None of them seemed very
convinced. Daniel chastised himself for being such a terrible liar.
"Are you unwilling to
discuss the matter?" asked Teal'c.
"No," Daniel said
in defense. "No, really. I'm not sure what the artifact's true function
was. There were riddles…"
"You had your zat out,"
Sam said.
"I destroyed it when
the pain was too much." Now that wasn't a lie.
"So, what?" Jack
asked impatiently. "What? It attacked you?"
Daniel imagined the stone
lashing out on him, and he realized the assessment wasn't far from the truth.
The device had attacked him; it had tackled the selfish needy parts inside of
him that Daniel had allowed to thrive and fester. Now, he was clean.
"Yes," Daniel said
resolutely. As he gazed at each one of his friends, he made sure his eyes told
them that was as sincere as he could be.
Jack shook his head. He
obviously wasn't pleased by Daniel's brevity, but from the defeated look in his
eyes, Daniel knew Jack wouldn't push the issue. Not for the rest of the night,
anyhow.
"The Doc says you should
get some rest. I say nothing works better than a good night's sleep in your own
bed." Jack clapped him on the shoulder and forced a smile. "Go home
and sleep it off, but I expect you back with a full report in the
morning."
Jack was bending protocol
again, but Daniel didn't care. For once, being as far away from the SGC as
possible seemed like the best medicine and Daniel wasn't going to argue about
it. Yet, he also knew that he was going to have to be a little more forthcoming
tomorrow. Jack was giving him the opportunity to come up with a good story.
Daniel figured this was a variation of the military "don't ask, don't
tell" policy. Or it could just be a Jack policy. Either way, though Jack
was basically giving him the green light to fudge the facts a little, Daniel
felt he owed him some explanation, even if it was a partial one.
He nodded.
"Right."
Jack got the point.
"Good. Now, if you don't mind, Teal'c and I have some important business
to which to attend."
Sam managed a small smile.
"Playing fooze ball again, Sir?"
"Of course. It's an
important tool for training our soldiers."
"Because beating a ball
with little plastic people is great practice for the field," Daniel said.
Sam laughed at the
statement, causing Jack to glare at them both. "Eye and hand coordination,
Daniel."
"Indeed. To be the
master of the fooze ball is to be the master of one's skills," Teal'c said
with only a dignity that Teal'c could possess.
Sam and Daniel exchanged a
knowing look. Jack had created a monster.
"Well said." Jack
patted Teal'c on the back. "Shall we?"
Teal'c gave a slight nod.
"We shall."
After sending them a
jubilant wave, Jack led Teal'c out of the infirmary, leaving Sam and Daniel
alone. Sam took the opportunity to move a little closer to Daniel, leaning
against the gurney as she gazed thoughtfully down at him.
"What really happened,
anyway?" she asked, keeping her voice low.
Daniel turned away and
stared down at his hands. Janet had always been very close to Sam. He remembered back then, on that day, Teal'c
had grown quiet. Jack had become detached. He had become withdrawn. But Sam had
broken down. Janet's death had almost destroyed her. He realized he had to be
delicate with his words.
"I saw things,"
Daniel whispered. "I relived part of my past. I don't even know if it was
real, or just my imagination."
Sam frowned, her eyes
softening in the way that always told Daniel she was uncomfortable and
uncertain in how to gage her response. So, Sam responded in the only way that
she could.
"So, you think this
device takes memories and twists them against a person?"
"More or less."
She seemed puzzled and
pressed further. "We could have—"
"No," he said
definitively. "We couldn't. Believe me."
"Okay." After pressing her lips together into a tight smile, Sam
rubbed his arm and then moved down to squeeze his hand. "Please get some
rest and I'll see you tomorrow, okay?"
Daniel nodded. He knew how
hard this must have been on her as well, having it all happen under her command.
"You too," he told her.
It wasn't long before he
found himself dressed and ready to leave.
Luckily, the burns weren't half as bad as everyone seemed to think they
were, and some of the nursing staff had even cleared Daniel to drive, if he
wanted. He didn't understand why he'd been given a choice. How else would he
get home? He certainly wasn't going to be chauffeured anywhere by the military.
He wasn't in the mood today.
Quietly, he threw on his
jacket and started to head toward the exit when a petite woman in a lab coat
caught his eye. His heart skipped a beat. "Janet?"
The doctor turned around,
puzzled, as she eyed him carefully. "Can I help you, Doctor Jackson?"
Daniel stared at her.
"Uh, no. No, Doctor Brightman. I'm okay."
She didn't seem too
convinced, but Daniel turned and exited before she could ask any more
questions. He walked down the hallway, heading for the elevator, and didn’t
look back.
Part of him had almost expected
to see her. Daniel didn't realize how disappointed he was to find that she was
gone.
Gone.
He hoped that she truly was
happy now.
While on his way, he passed
by several people, some whom he recognized, some whom he didn't. Mostly, they
were just a myriad of faces, unknowns that seemed to walk through him as if he
were a ghost. In reality, the feeling was not unlike the first time they'd
returned from P3X-666. Back then, he had just been a wandering soul amidst the
chaos. He had been reliving that day when he'd been forced to come back to
Earth after Sha're had been taken. There had been nowhere for him to turn,
nowhere for him to go.
He couldn't help but see the
patterns that kept repeating through his life, taking on new forms but yet
always remaining the same. Part of him wanted to believe that he was truly
given another chance to make a difference, to something that should have never
happened. But another part of him recognized the futility in what he was
attempting to do, and how no matter what he did, the pattern would continue.
It was a cycle of life and
death that permeated his friends' lives, and his own. He couldn't escape it.
But he kept trying, anyway.
With a sigh, Daniel waited
for the elevator. It seemed notoriously slow, especially on a night where he
just wanted to go home and lose himself to thoughtless sleep. Though, when it
finally opened, Daniel found himself unable to do anything but stare.
"Daniel," Janet
said, nearly breathless. She grabbed his arm, causing him to reflexively jerk
away. "Are you all right? I came as soon as I could." When Daniel
didn't answer, still cowering from her touch, she frowned, the suspicion
pooling in her eyes. "What's wrong?"
He couldn't talk. What the
hell was going on? Janet? Janet? He realized she was reaching for him
again, so he stepped back, backing his hip in the door of the elevator.
Oh God, he was still caught
in the device. He had to be. Any minute now, she'd die and he'd awaken back on
the floor of the shrine. Or someone else's life would end tragically.
"Please, let it
stop," he whispered
"Daniel?" She
reached out her hand to him and he pushed away again. Hurt, she withdrew.
He hated to see her so sad.
"All right," she
said firmly, slipping back into the authoritative tone that he remembered so
clearly. "If you don't tell me what's wrong, I'm taking you right back to
the infirmary."
She was so real. She was
right here. With him.
"P3X-666," he
blurted out.
She stared at him as if he had
three heads, or worse. Shaking her head, she motioned for him to get his body
fully into the elevator carriage before punching one of the buttons.
"I've told you that I
don't know why he keeps calling me. That happened months ago. He's just a
harmless flirt," she told him.
Daniel frowned, searching
her face and his mind for anything that would tell him what she was talking
about. And then, like a lost memory that had been buried deeply in his mind, he
remembered. Bregman. Emmett Bregman kept calling Janet at their house.
Whoa…Daniel pressed his back
against the elevator, his eyes growing wide. Their house?
Bewildered, Daniel's gaze
jumped all over the elevator, trying to process and make sense of the strange
feelings and memories that were surfacing in his mind. Finally centering his
attention on his bandaged hand, he considered a far worse scenario. Maybe the
device had been eating away at his mind. Maybe he was hallucinating, or he was
delusional. It wouldn't be the first time. In fact, he was afraid he was
getting used to it.
"Daniel." This
time Janet's voice was softer. She placed her hand on his chest. "Please
tell me what's wrong."
He immediately felt warm,
comforted. He knew he could open up to Janet. He felt—
Daniel stared at the ring on
her finger.
The memories started to
flood him then. Not old memories, but new old memories, he realized. These were
memories of a past he'd never experienced, feelings he'd never had a chance to
have, and a love that he'd held back on because he was afraid. She was there,
on P3X-666, but Bosworth had killed the Jaffa before he could hit Janet. She
was there.
Tonight, she had been away
at a training seminar. God, a training seminar.
And now they were going back
to their house.
He didn't understand. He had
destroyed the device. It was over.
Yet, all these memories were
forming into past realities, into experiences that he had lived. They didn't
erase the old, but they were there nonetheless. He could remember them now. It
was both frightening and beautiful.
But, what about the Ancient
device?
He remembered his last plea…
Blinking, his mind dizzy
with thoughts of what happened and what could have been, Daniel gazed down at
Janet and held her hand close to his chest. "Are you happy?" he asked
her.
"Daniel, what kind of
question is that?"
"Just-just tell me. Are
you happy?"
She squeezed his hand
reassuringly before reaching up with her other hand to stroke the hair above
his ear. "I've never been happier. You know that."
Janet was happy, he thought
to himself, while grinning for the first time that day. He did know that
and now that he'd been given this second chance, or third chance, he'd make
sure she was never unhappy again. Satisfied, Daniel wrapped his arms around her
and held her tight.
"Yes," he said to
her. "Yes, I do."
Have any thoughts?
Send feedback here