Title: The Naked Truth
Author: Moonshayde
Season: Nine
Category: Vignette, Humor
Spoilers: None
Pairing/Character: Cameron and Sam friendship
Summary: Cameron learns a little bit more than he wanted to know about SG-1
Warnings: none
Rating: PG-13
A/N: Written for the Sam/Cameron LJ
community
Disclaimer: Stargate, Stargate SG-1 and all of its characters, titles, names,
and back-story are the property of MGM/UA, Double Secret Productions, Gekko
Productions, SciFi Channel, and Showtime/Viacom. All other characters, the
story idea and the story itself are the sole property of the author. This story
cannot be printed anywhere without the sole permission of the author. Realize
this is for entertainment purposes only; no financial gain or profit has been
gained from this fiction. This story is not meant to be an infringement on the
rights of the above-mentioned establishments
He wanted his normal team
back.
Cameron kept his gaze
focused on his cards, trying to pretend that all three of his teammates weren't
in his line of sight. The cards, he thought to himself. Just look at
the damn cards. Cards, cards, cards…
"Colonel
Mitchell," Teal'c said, calling at him from across the table.
Teal'c leaned forward.
"If this is your attempt at a bluff, you have failed."
Cameron scooted his chair
further from the table and away from Teal'c's looming face. He cleared his
throat and glared at the cards.
"If you're out, just
say you're out," Sam said.
She was bending toward him.
Cameron tried to ignore the heat that rushed to his face, while pretending his
ears never ever turned pink.
"Cam?" she asked.
He refused to look at her.
"Just thinking," he managed to say.
"Yeah, for the past
fifteen minutes," Jackson mumbled.
"Still thinking."
He heard a collective sigh
and a slight scrape across the floor. Automatically, he lifted his head at the
sound. He was sorry he had. Jackson had pushed back his chair so he could relax
and pass the time by glaring at Cameron with his pissy look. He leaned into the back of the chair, spread
out his legs, and folded his hands in his lap, waiting for Cameron to play his
hand.
It was the most
disconcerting thing Cameron had ever seen.
Quickly, he averted his gaze
and dove for his drink.
"Cam?" Sam asked.
Oh, God. Her hand touched his arm. "Are you okay?"
"Oh yeah." He
cleared his throat again. "Just fine."
"You seem a little
jumpy," Jackson said.
"Nope. Fine."
He heard Teal'c shift in his
seat. Cameron hid deeper behind his flimsy little cards. "You are indeed
jumpy."
"I'm fine, guys. Just
fan-tastic." By now he knew that his face had to be turning shades of pink
or purple. He was going to have a stroke.
"No, really." Now
he heard Jackson shift, closer, closer… "You've been acting weird since we
came back from BJ7-435."
Cameron laughed. A loud,
full-out, bellyaching laugh. He ignored the perplexed looks his insane team
gave him. He couldn't anymore. He just couldn't. "I'm weird," he
said. "I'm weird." He grabbed his glass and took another swallow.
"I'm not the one that's gone off and joined a nudist colony," he
muttered into the glass.
"Excuse me?" Sam
asked.
By now, Cameron had given
up. "Nudist," he said. "You can't tell me that none of you
realize you're just wearing your birthday suits."
They all stared at him like
he was crazy. But he was the one that had kept his clothes on when they had
come back through the Gate.
"You think we're
naked?" Sam asked incredulously.
For the first time since
they'd come back to the nudist-maker planet, Cameron looked at Sam. He eyed her
from head to toe, mapping every curve, every blemish, every nook and cranny,
and committed it to memory. There. Now he felt better. Now he could get slapped
and have it mean something.
"Naked as the day you
were born," he said with a grin.
He winced and waited for the
slap, but it never came. She just stared at him. So did Teal'c. So did Jackson.
Then he had a horrible
thought. What if they were sex-craved nudists?
"Do you actually think
we're naked?" Jackson asked. Cameron heard him shift.
"Don't make me look at
you, Jackson."
That shut him up.
But it also left Cameron
confused. "You mean…you've not gone free loving on me?"
"No," Sam said.
Her cheeks were turning pink. "Why
didn't you report this?" Cameron went to open his mouth to answer, but she
shook her head. "But it means either you're hallucinating or…"
"You can see through
our clothing," Teal'c finished for her.
Cameron blinked. "Now,
what the hell kind of funky alien mojo would make me see naked people?"
That had to be the kinkiest alien weirdness he'd encountered yet.
"Maybe it's a
test," Jackson said. Cameron didn't miss how he trying to stay as far away
as possible from him.
Teal'c just plain didn't
care and just let it all out. Cameron wanted to die.
"Or maybe it's a way to
check for concealed weapons," Sam added.
Cameron's eyes drifted down
to Sam's breasts.
"Eyes forward,
mister."
"Yes, ma'am."
"Or perhaps you are
insane," Teal'c said.
Now, that was quite the
possibility.
"Okay," Jackson
said, standing.
Cameron cringed. He cringed
again when Teal'c stood.
Sam stood last, motioning
for Jackson and Teal'c to grab him, much to his dismay, but noticed that her
movements, along with theirs, had become much more conservative. She kept her
arms over her breasts.
Damn.
"Infirmary," she
said.
"Infirmary," he
repeated.
He grimaced as Jackson and
Teal'c manhandled him. As they led him down the corridor through … Holy! Naked
people everywhere. He took small comfort in Sam's presence. She played it cool,
but tried to "cover" as much of herself as possible, all the while
never leaving his side. But it wasn't the shapes of her fleshy body that had
attracted his attention the most. She'd exposed him to something he hadn't really
ever seen before. It was that slight blush and that twinkle in her eyes.
Cam grinned. Not because she
was naked, but because she had invited him in to see the truth.
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