Title: Is fada liom uaimi uaimi

Author: Moonshayde

Season: Nine

Category: mild angst

Spoilers: Takes place after Ripple Effect

Pairing/Character: Daniel/Janet implied

Summary: He longs for her.

Warnings: minor language

Rating: PG-13

 

Author's Notes:  Inspired by the song of the same name.

 

 

The night was on as the moon was high. No one had to tell these folks how to throw a party. Cameron watched in awe as the natives did their "thang." The ladies bounced and twirled in circles while the men tapped at the floor and clapped their hands.

 

He and the rest of SG-1 watched from the sidelines. They'd been invited to this little shindig as a token of their newfound friendship. The dance symbolized desire and the want of unity or something like that. Whatever it meant, Cameron figured there was gonna be a whole lot of unity going on after the dance, judging by those skimpy little outfits they were wearing.

 

He grinned, watching another young woman dance right on by. Damn, being on SG-1 was fun.

 

He heard Sam clear her throat, which had the immediate effect of sobering him. Cameron sat a little straighter and pulled his legs in, allowing Teal'c room to squeeze between him and the dancers.

 

"What language is that supposed to be again?" Cameron asked.

 

"Daniel said it's a derivative of Celtic or Gaelic," Sam said. She smiled as Teal'c came to sit beside her, offering her a small steaming cup.

 

"I believe Daniel Jackson stated it is a mix of both dialects," Teal'c added.

 

Cameron frowned, watching Teal'c sip the aromatic liquid from a cup of his own. "Hey, where's mine? Didn't you think of getting one for me?"

 

"No."

 

Cameron groaned while Sam chuckled. "I'm going to go sit with Jackson," he mumbled. "He's more fun anyway."

 

As Cameron pushed himself off the rock he'd been sitting on, he felt Teal'c grab his arm, urging him to stay. Slowly, Cameron settled back down on the rock, searching both of their faces for some answers.

 

"I think it would be best to just leave him alone for awhile," Sam said quietly.

 

Cameron was puzzled. He glanced over to Jackson, who happened to be sitting a few feet away from them. Jackson seemed to be enjoying the show just as much as rest of them – tapping his foot on the ground, leaning forward, watching the pretty ladies. Hell, Cameron bet he was singing right along with them, being the only one of out their party that could understand a damn word any of them said.

 

"Why?" Cameron finally asked, turning his attention back to Sam and Teal'c.

 

Neither of them answered. Sam brought the cup back to her lips, Teal'c following suit. Frustrated, Cameron ignored Sam's advice and stood. He started toward Jackson but stopped as soon as he got a better look.

 

What he saw this time was different. Jackson continued to move along with the catchy beat, but he'd since taken off his glasses. Cameron watched as he wiped at his eyes before sliding the glasses back onto his face.

 

Cameron started walking toward Jackson, but approached with a quiet, more careful stride. Soundlessly, he eased himself next to Jackson and watched the dance, opting not to say a word.

 

It only lasted so long. Cameron just couldn't stay silent.

 

"I saw a dance like this once," Cameron said, gazing at the performers. "Only, once the chickens got loose in the barn, the party ended pretty quick."

 

He thought he saw a small smile form on Jackson's lips.

 

"Uncle Jim never did let us in his barn again." Cameron sighed. "Not after he found the bras hanging in the stables."

 

"Somehow I don't think that will be a problem here," Jackson said, still wearing that small, sad smile of his.

 

Cameron nodded. But the silence returned, clinging to the space between them like lint on laundry. Cameron shifted uneasily. It was hard to hold a one-sided conversation.

 

"So," he started, kicking at a small rock jutting out of the ground's surface, "it must have been tough seeing all those doubles, especially—"

 

"Yeah, it's not something I want to talk about right now."

 

Jackson's tone told it all. Unfortunately, Cameron didn't take to "back off" very easily.

 

"You know, my grandma once told me—"

 

He received the look of death from Jackson. Time to switch strategies.

 

"How about just thinking about all those nice things about her?" Cameron never had had the opportunity to really know her. "What was she like?"

 

Jackson smiled again, this time with a long, far away look to his eyes. "She was gentle and kind, but tough and strong. She always put other people first." His voice quieted. "She reminded me of Sha're."

 

Cameron didn't have anything to say this time, not when the pain was doubly deep. Somewhere out there, there were Fraisers that had survived, Sha'res that continued to live, realities where none of them made the same mistakes or were caught up in the same wild tragic rides that their counterparts were.

 

Somewhere out there, Cameron knew the same could be said for him. While he had lived a decent life, he knew others out there might not be so lucky. And even Cameron had made mistakes in his past he wished he could change.

 

Cameron looked down and toed the small rock trapped in the dirt. Stuck, grounded, it wouldn't budge, no matter how it craved to be free. Not even Cameron's gentle tapping could move it.

 

"So," he said at last, "what are they saying, anyway?"

 

Jackson didn't answer right away, keeping his gaze focused outward, past the dancers, and towards the sky. "Is fada liom uaimi uaimi," he whispered.

 

Cameron caught the deep desire in Jackson's eyes as he gazed wistfully at the stars above them. "What does it mean?" he asked.

 

"I long for her."

 

Cameron nodded, but said no more. He supposed Jackson always would.

 

THE END

 

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