Title: Huntin' Ain't Never
Been So Shiny
Author: Moonshayde
Season: Three
Category: Crackfic
(SPN/Twilight crossover)
Spoilers: None
Summary: Dean and Sam find
something new to hunt.
Word Count: 531
Rating: PG
A/N: Total crackfic. With
all the wank going on with the Twilight fandom, I couldn't resist. No offense
to the Twilight fans. This is just in good fun.
Disclaimer: None of them
are mine. Just having fun.
Dean pulled the Impala to
the side of the road and threw her into park. He did a quick inventory of the
forest on either side of the lone highway, but didn't see a sign of a creepy or
a crawly. Satisfied, he leaned back into his seat and glanced over to his
right. "So, this is it?"
Sam nodded. "This is
it."
Dean studied the worn paper
in Sam's hands. On it there was a short list of names along with a convenient
map.
"According to Bobby,
his contact said the thing should be here any minute." Sam stiffened.
"There."
There was a low moan from
around the bend in the road. Dean leaned forward and slid his hand to the Colt
at his back. Coming the opposite way was a...
Dean frowned. "For
God's sake, it drives a Volvo?"
Sam ignored him. "Let's
go."
Both Winchester brothers
hopped out of the Impala and started toward the Volvo parked on the opposite side.
What came out of the car stopped them dead in their tracks.
He was a lean pale guy, with
freaky hair, and for second Dean swore the thing was wearing makeup. He
squinted. Freakin' lavender eyeshadow. He didn't even know the male vamps swung
that way.
But that wasn't the worst
part.
The dude sparkled. He
seriously sparkled.
Dean leaned over to whisper
to Sam. "They starting to wear glitter now?"
Sam shrugged. "I don't
know. I guess being dead can get boring."
"Couldn't they find
something less pansy-like?"
The vampire started walking
toward them, and paused, frowning at the sight of the Chevy Impala behind them.
It looked straight at Dean. "Do you realize how much damage that car does
to the environment?"
Dean blinked. "Okay,
then...David Bowe here has gone eco-friendly."
"We probably should get
this over with," Sam whispered.
"What? You don't want
to try to reason with it?"
Sam stared at him. "Are
you kidding me?"
Dean nodded. He wasn't going
to argue about shiny there.
The vampire - according to
the list named Edward Cullen - stopped in front of them with some superior air
and stared at them in all of his shiny sparkly glory. Then he spoke.
"Do I dazzle--?"
The vampire hit the ground
like a rock. Dean blew the smoke from the barrel of the Colt.
"All right. What's next
on the list?"
"Something called
Nessie."
"Loch Ness Monster?
Here?"
"That's what the list
says." Sam folded the paper and shoved it into his pocket. "You know,
it's kind of weird a nest of vampires would get in touch with Bobby to take out
a few of their own."
"I can't believe I'm
gonna say this, but I don't think I blame them." Dean toed the glimmering
body. "That's just embarrassing." He shook his head. "I never
thought I'd see the day."
"Well, would you want
that in your family?" Sam pointed to the sparkling vampire corpse.
"Can't pick your
family, Sammy."
"Don't I know it."
Dean frowned.
"Hey."
Again, Sam ignored him.
"I suppose it could be worse."
"How?"
"Well, it could have
been some mutant death-baby."
Dean shuttered. Now that was
truly a frightening thought.
Thoughts?
Email feedback is welcome
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