Title: Gracious Endeavors
Author: SGSlashygirl
Season: Season 9
Category: Drama, Episode Tag
Spoilers: Children of the Gods part, Forever In A Day, Affinity
Pairing/Character: Daniel/Teal'c
Summary: Teal'c
offers his gratitude for all Daniel has done for him.
Rating:
PG
Disclaimer:
Stargate, Stargate SG-1 and all of its characters, titles, names, and back-story
are the property of MGM/UA, Double Secret Productions, Gekko Productions, SciFi
Channel, and Showtime/Viacom. All other characters, the story idea and the
story itself are the sole property of the author. This story cannot be printed
anywhere without the sole permission of the author. Realize this is for entertainment purposes only; no financial
gain or profit has been gained from this fiction. This story is not meant to be
an infringement on the rights of the above-mentioned establishments
It was over and Teal'c found
himself at the SGC once again.
His time posing as a citizen
of this planet had been nothing but an illusion. Teal'c understood that no
matter how hard he had tried to assimilate and adopt the customs of this world,
he could never be one of the Tau'ri.
He was not of this world. He
would never be welcome among these people.
The thought was a heavy one
for Teal'c, as he loved his friends of Earth. Yet, even after all of these
years, there would always be a divide between them, despite their warmth and
loyalty. They indeed had a common cause, but where would they be in the end?
With a silent sigh, Teal'c
proceeded to light his candles in preparation for a meditative session. He
would need this time to reflect, to understand his place.
To understand Daniel
Jackson.
Teal'c had always enjoyed a
complex yet simple relationship with Daniel Jackson. They had assumed a
position of mutual respect despite all that Teal'c had done to him. It was
through Teal'c that Daniel Jackson had lost his wife the first time, and
through Teal'c that he had lost her the final time. Daniel Jackson had every
reason to be filled with hate for Teal'c, yet he did not. Daniel Jackson
remained by Teal'c's side and would do anything within his codes of reason to support
him.
Teal'c had always admired
the strength of Daniel Jackson. It was a power that came from a place that was
not of brute force, or aggression. It appeared to be a different, more
encompassing power that made Teal'c feel invited, as if he truly could belong
to this world.
And now Daniel Jackson had
come to his assistance once again, jeopardizing his life and his position at
the SGC in order to protect Teal'c.
For this, Teal'c had no words.
He could only wish to show his gratitude for Daniel Jackson some day, in a way
that truly encompassed the depth of their love and friendship.
It was for this reason
Teal'c had decided meditation would be appropriate. He felt confusion within
him, and he needed an outlet with which to sort through the events of the past
few days.
Teal'c had only just begun
to meditate when he heard a knocking at his door. "Enter," he said,
mildly annoyed.
To his surprise, Daniel
Jackson, still dressed in clothes that were not standard for this place,
slipped through the opening, his gaze passing Teal'c to fall to his many
candles. "Oh, I'm sorry,"
Daniel Jackson said quietly. "I didn't mean to interrupt you. I'm always
doing that, aren't I?"
Teal'c immediately rose to
his feet and rolled back his shoulders, using the old Jaffa stance to signal it
was okay for him to enter. "You do not disturb me, Daniel Jackson."
Teal'c found he could not help but smile. "Your presence is most
comforting."
"Oh," Daniel
Jackson seemed uneasy about the comment, but did not say anything further.
"Can I come in?"
Teal'c nodded once, bowing
his head as Daniel Jackson entered the room and shut the door. But, instead of
taking his regular seat on the floor of Teal'c's room, he moved toward the bed,
almost collapsing onto it as if he were burdened by some weight Teal'c could
not see. Concerned, Teal'c stepped forward, coming to meet Daniel Jackson by
the bed.
"Are you unwell?"
he asked his friend.
"Uh, no." Daniel
Jackson cleared his throat. "I'm a little annoyed that the Pentagon
doesn't understand why I did what I did, but then again, I'm not
surprised."
So it was true. The actions
created by Daniel Jackson had caused problems with the leaders of this
establishment. From the moment that Teal'c had learned that Daniel Jackson had
"taken matters into his own hands" Teal'c had become overwhelmed with
guilt and fear. It was his doing that his friend had placed himself in such
danger, and Teal'c knew that he could not live with himself if he became the
cause for Daniel Jackson's death. Teal'c felt burdened as is, overcome with the
knowledge that he had placed his friend's job and livelihood into question.
Daniel Jackson shook his
head, as if he possessed the ability to read Teal'c's mind. "Don't worry
about it," he told him. "Jack's trying to smooth things over. He's
mad that I didn't tell him what I was going to do, but I think he understands
why." Daniel Jackson paused, his eyes becoming unfocused as he gazed into
the distance. "Jack's really got to stop doing that. He's going to
endanger his job."
"He often feels the
need to watch over us," Teal'c said.
"I know." A smile
touched Daniel Jackson's lips. "Where would we be if we didn't look out
for each other?"
This was something that
Teal'c found he could appreciate. "Indeed."
The two remained silent for
a moment, as if there was an air of unfinished business between them.
Perplexed, Teal'c cocked his head, studying his friend closely. "Is there
not something else that you wish to say?"
Daniel Jackson cleared his
throat again before nodding quickly. "Yes, actually. I just came by to see
how you were holding up."
Teal'c felt a rumble of
discontent roll through his stomach. "I am holding up fine."
"Really? Because you
have an awful lot of candles-"
"Daniel Jackson,"
Teal'c said firmly.
"Teal'c, I know you'd
been looking forward to moving out of the base and having a place of your own.
You haven't had somewhere you could call home in a very long time. It's
understandable that you'd be upset."
"The SGC is my
home." His eyes darkened. "I am not upset."
"Then why are you
looking at me like that?"
Teal'c blinked. He had not
realized he had been looking at Daniel Jackson in any particular way.
Embarrassed, Teal'c turned away from his friend and stared at his candles.
Daniel Jackson was not the
kind of man who could easily be refused. Instantly, he had stepped away from
the bed and come to stand behind Teal'c.
"What's wrong?"
Daniel Jackson asked.
Teal'c would not reply. He
had no desire to pursue this line of questioning.
"Teal'c, you've always
opened up to me before." Daniel Jackson's hand pressed down on his
shoulder. "What's bothering you?"
Teal'c sighed. Daniel
Jackson truly could not be refused.
"You have risked yourself
for me again. I know not how to repay you."
"Teal'c." Daniel
Jackson said, sounding both hurt and surprised. "This isn't about
reparation. This is about us. This is about what we do." He rubbed
Teal'c's back. "It doesn't matter-"
Teal'c turned, his face
cold, hard. "How can you continue to be my friend after all that I have
done? How can you continue to show kindness to me?"
Daniel Jackson appeared
stunned, causing Teal'c to regret, in part, what he had just said. Yet, only in
part.
"How can I not?"
Daniel Jackson answered, equally as emotional. "Just because you've made
some mistakes, or have done some things in your life that you're not proud of
doesn't mean you don't deserve friends, and freedom, and love. We all do things
that we end up regretting. I've done many over the course of my life. It
doesn't make me any less of a person, and it certainly doesn't make you any
less of one, either."
"I am not of this
world," Teal'c said bitterly.
"Is this what this is
all about? You feel that you're not worthy because you're a Jaffa?" Daniel
Jackson's hand disappeared. "Teal'c, turn around and look at me."
Teal'c did as instructed,
holding his resolve as he stared into the eyes of his friend.
"Is that it?"
Daniel Jackson asked again.
"No," Teal'c admitted.
"It is not."
"Then, what is
it?"
With care, Teal'c reached
over and placed the palm of his hand on Daniel Jackson's cheek. "It is
because I cannot have what I desire."
Daniel Jackson's eyes
widened at Teal'c's revelation, just as he had expected. Then, in an act that
caused Teal'c great pain, Daniel Jackson took an uncomfortable step backwards
until he had created a great divide between the two of them.
"I am sorry, Daniel
Jackson."
His friend did not respond.
Instead, he took another step away from Teal'c and turned. He did not seem to
know what to do with himself and had alternatively taken to staring at Teal'c's
candles.
Teal'c did not know what to
do. For some time, there had been a deep conflict within him. And now, he feared
that the years of their brotherhood would be vanquished by his own faulty
words. He could not allow this to happen.
"I ask for your
forgiveness," Teal'c said quietly.
"No, don't...don't
apologize. I'm just...just. I'm sorry. I'm sorry, Teal'c." He laughed a
nervous laugh. "I-I don't know what to say."
Curious over the vagueness
in his response, Teal'c took a step forward. Daniel Jackson did not retract
from his spot. "I would not harm you."
"I know," Daniel
Jackson said, his voice near a whisper.
Feeling a renewed sense of
confidence, Teal'c ventured farther. While he did not wish to destroy the
friendship that had grown between them, Teal'c could sense no contempt from
Daniel Jackson. Teal'c could see now while his friend had not accepted his advances,
he had not shunned them either. This was an act that incited much hope and
electricity through Teal'c.
Teal'c wanted to show Daniel
Jackson his gratitude. He wanted for Daniel Jackson to truly understand what
their bond meant to him.
Teal'c stepped forward until
they were chest to chest.
Then, with a grace and
tenderness Teal'c kept in reserve for only those for whom he held the greatest
of affections, he bowed his head and brushed his lips across that of his
friend's.
Daniel Jackson made no move
of protest.
Slowly, Teal'c withdrew in
order to study the reaction of his friend. He remained where he stood, and
would have appeared immobile if not for the gentle sway of his form. Daniel
Jackson quietly licked his lips, his eyes closed. Teal'c understood that this
was Daniel Jackson's way of processing information, or new experiences.
He was considering his
options and what steps to take next.
But Teal'c had not repulsed
him and that provided Teal'c with hope beyond all hope. Carefully, he began to undo
the buttons on Daniel Jackson's shirt, releasing them one by one, until he
could see the slick smoothness of his friend's light skin.
It was then that Daniel
Jackson gasped, and a look of uncertainty, perhaps even fear, flashed across
his face. Teal'c smiled, keeping his strength to himself as he pressed the palm
of his hand against Daniel Jackson's bare chest. He slid his hand up and down,
rubbing him soothingly.
"I will only do what
you wish," Teal'c told him. He brought his lips to kiss his friend's
chest. "Please allow for me to show you my gratitude."
He straightened his back,
watching for any signs of discomfort in his friend. Daniel Jackson held a look
of both anticipation and shock, but there was more there, even if Daniel
Jackson had not yet discovered it. This was good news, indeed.
Fueled by Daniel Jackson's
limited acceptance, Teal'c gently pulled him close, allowing their bodies to
come into contact with each other's, while keeping his hands planted on his
chest. Daniel Jackson's breathing increased.
Teal'c refused to push his
friend beyond limits he did not wish to pursue. For now, he would be content to
be as is, and to allow Daniel Jackson the room that was necessary for him to decide.
But, for Teal'c, it was imperative that his friend truly know the depth of his
feeling.
"I wish for you to
understand the depth of my affection for you and the importance of our
bond."
Daniel Jackson looked up at
him, a slight smile forming on his lips. Carefully, nervously, his friend
reached in and kissed him before taking Teal'c's arms and wrapping them around
his waist.
"I understand,"
Daniel Jackson said to him softly. "One day, allow me to show my
gratitude, too."
Teal'c smiled. For this, Teal'c
could wait until the heavens moved themselves. For he knew, some day soon,
Daniel Jackson would be ready and Teal'c would be waiting to accept him.
Then, perhaps, they could
show their gratitude together.
The End
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