Title: Echoes of Autumn

Author: Moonshayde

Season: Eight

Spoilers: Season Eight up to and including Endgame. Mild spoilers for various times in past seasons.

Category: Friendship. Drama/Angst. Action/Adventure.

Character: Jack. (Does have Jack/Daniel friendship. Team)

Summary: Jack awakens to find himself ten years into the future, but with no memory from the past decade. Alone and deemed clinically insane, Jack must work to figure out how to change the mistakes of the past, and bring back together the friends he once knew. (Not a 2010 type story.)

Rating: PG-13

Warnings: Mild language, violence, adult themes

 

Author's Notes: Thanks to Meg for being a great beta on this one. Also thanks to CMO Lauretta as well.  Emma, I haven't forgotten about you. You're still one of the best of the best, but I know you're busy and I wanted to let you rest.

 

Disclaimer: Stargate, Stargate SG-1 and all of its characters, titles, names, and back-story are the property of MGM/UA, Double Secret Productions, Gekko Productions, SciFi Channel, and Showtime/Viacom. All other characters, the story idea and the story itself are the sole property of the author. This story cannot be printed anywhere without the sole permission of the author.  Realize this is for entertainment purposes only; no financial gain or profit has been gained from this fiction. This story is not meant to be an infringement on the rights of the above-mentioned establishments

 

Chapter 1

 

Why…

 

One word. A simple word. But an open one, filled with the possibilities of a thousand worlds, and yet so singularly containing the voice and essence of one individual.

 

Why…

 

The word so soft, like a feather dancing on the wind, floating aimlessly between light and shadow, between awareness and slumber.

 

Why…

 

So near, yet so far…but so uncomfortably close…

 

Jack twisted sharply, his neck snapping as he pulled himself away from his pillow to stare into the darkness that enveloped his room. He had sworn he had heard someone whispering to him, though he realized he could have been imagining things. The mind does some crazy stuff when trapped in a semi-conscious state.

 

Then again, he wasn't one to dismiss anything offhandedly. His experiences with the Asgard and all various otherworldly phenomena made him mistrust even the nights he was lucky enough to spend curled up in his warm cozy bed.

 

Not tonight, he thought, feeling the chill on his arms. Scanning the room, his gaze fell to one of his windows, where the cool Colorado night breeze was playing with his shades. Annoyed, Jack swung his legs over the side of the bed, scrubbing at the back on his neck, before he pondered whether to get up and actually do something about the cold.

 

Lying in bed was so much more fun.

 

"Why?"

 

Jack froze. That distinctly was a voice, and a distinct one at that.

 

Carefully he leaned forward, now aware of the silhouette of a man standing by the window, the shadows of the room hiding his features. But he didn't need light or clarity to garner some idea of who was in his room. Relaxing a little, and feeling his annoyance flare again, Jack scowled.

 

"Daniel, what the hell?"

 

At first, Daniel made no move, remaining silent where he stood. His unwillingness to explain his bizarre behavior, or more importantly why and how he'd gotten into Jack's bedroom, was pushing Jack's buttons. He got little enough sleep as it is, since his promotion, and he wasn't about to play into what practical joke Daniel, Teal'c, or Carter could be pulling on him now. Not when he had important deals to broker over the next few days.

 

"Cut it out, Daniel," he muttered, reaching over for the lights. He snapped them on and shook his head. "You know, you'd better have a damn good reason for this because if not, I'm not letting you go on that little field trip you and Carter—"

 

As Daniel came into focus, Jack found himself too shocked to continue his thought. Wet, dirty, and strangely pale, Daniel appeared to be only a shell of himself. Sad, sunken eyes stared back at Jack, only emphasizing Daniel's empty hollowed cheeks. If Jack hadn't known better, he would have thought Daniel had walked straight out of a zombie movie.

 

It only took Jack a moment to recover, and he quickly started to disentangle the rest of his body from his sheets. As he fought with the material that had wrapped itself around his waist, he felt his sense of urgency sharply increase, his mind fumbling over different scenarios of what was happening to Daniel.

 

Some off-world contagion the infirmary had missed? This could still be a joke.

 

"Daniel, did you touch--?"

 

"Why won't you listen to me?" Daniel said, his voice merely a whisper. It was hauntingly low, that of a desperate man, or a man on the brink of surrender.

 

Daniel reached out a shaking hand, reaching closer and closer to Jack, his slowed movements far more distressing than his appearance. Instinctually, Jack felt the draw to pull back from the other man's touch, all his training coming to the forefront of his groggy mind.

 

"Daniel, stay right there." Jack knew he had to call in some help. If Daniel had caught some virus or had been exposed to some alien presence, they'd have to do an immediate quarantine.

 

But, hell, Jack didn't remember any problems before.

 

"Why?" Daniel continued to move towards Jack, his form almost seeming to fade in and out in front of him. "Why won’t you listen?"

 

"Listen to what!"

 

*   *   *   *

 

Jack awoke abruptly, hearing his own words bounce off the walls and echo through his home. Confused, Jack pushed the remaining sheets away from himself, and rose to his feet, surprised just how unsteady he was. Swaying, Jack grabbed for his nightstand, nearly toppling the phone as he attempted to support himself.

 

What was even more puzzling was the complete lack of Daniel. As Jack straightened his back, undoing a night's worth of kinks and knots, he scoured the room for any sign of Daniel, any movement, any sound.

 

But there was nothing. The room was empty, and the only sounds that assailed Jack's ears were the rustling of his curtains. Through the wavering sheets, he could see the morning light peeking through, and hear the distant hum of cars on the street, nearly overpowering the sweet chirping of the morning sparrows.

 

When had it turned morning?

 

Groaning, Jack rubbed at his right side, sore from the way he'd been sleeping, and stumbled through his room. He peeked around the corner, even checking on the other side of his bed for the off chance that maybe Daniel had collapsed. But still, no Daniel.

 

"Daniel?" he called hoarsely. He cleared his throat, smacking his lips over the distasteful feel of pasty tartar covering his mouth. "Daniel? You here?"

 

Jack called for Daniel a few more times, wandering through his house just in case. When finally after ten minutes he still hadn't found anything, Jack was satisfied, or rather unsatisfied, that he'd found nothing. He swore to himself not to eat crab rangoon from that Chinese place before bed ever again.

 

Heading back towards his room, Jack pondered over his bizarre dream. Only a dream. A really, really strange dream that had no place being in his mind at all. Just once, why couldn't he dream of those blondes in the beer commercial?

 

But, he figured a check-up call to Daniel couldn't hurt.

 

Jack decided he'd give Daniel a call right after he got a nice hot shower, and a good shave. Jack ran his hand over the rough stubble that was starting to form on his face. Though, he had to admit the texture felt nice as it scratched his skin.

 

It made him feel alive.

 

Shaking his head, Jack let the thought slide and headed for his bathroom. He was still feeling groggy from his dream and what felt like lack of sleep. Sometimes he wished he wasn't such a light sleeper and could just be dead to the world, like some other people he knew.

 

Then, others, like his old teammates, apparently didn't feel the need for sleep at all. Jack started to consider putting a curfew on how late Daniel and Carter could hang around the base.

 

Chuckling over the thought, Jack allowed himself a much needed pee, before starting up the shower. His cell phone was still lying over by the sink, so he figured while he waited for the bathroom to steam up he might as give Daniel a call.

 

Not that he'd mention the dream, or anything.

 

Jack dialed Daniel's cell number and waited, occasionally testing the spray from the showerhead.

 

Hot, prickly, just the way he liked it.

 

"The number you have dialed has been disconnected."

 

Jack tore the cell phone away from his head and stared at it, confused. What? Had he dialed wrong? He had them all on speed dial, for cryin' out loud.

 

Jack glared at the phone, pressing down hard on the number three again, waiting impatiently for the phone to dial and connect.

 

Nothing. Just the same message assaulted him again.

 

Slowly, Jack placed the cell phone on the sink, giving himself a moment to think. Maybe Daniel hadn't paid his bill. It wouldn't have been the first time the absent-minded man had skipped on his payments.

 

But this wasn't his home phone. This was his cell phone. His work cell phone.

 

Cursing under his breath, Jack quickly dialed Carter's cell, starting to feel uneasy as he paced the bathroom floor. The room was becoming warm, balmy, to the point where Jack thought he'd even pass out. Wiping the sweat from his brow, he leaned over to the shower, and shut off the water.

 

Looked like that shower would have to wait.

 

"The number you have dialed is no longer in service."

 

"What the hell?" Jack swore, gripping the phone tightly.

 

Was someone messing with him? Had something gone down over night? A set-up, maybe? Jack wouldn't be surprised if Kinsey was up to his old tricks again.

 

Jack breathed out, bracing himself as he clutched the sink. He fought to keep his head clear, unnerved over the fact he still felt hazy, and even a little light. Inhaling sharply, he rubbed at his side. He would grab something fast to eat, and then get down to the SGC to see what the hell was happening.

 

Satisfied with his game plan, Jack rubbed his face and then reached over to the mirror, wiping away the condensation that had steamed up the surface. With a few quick wipes, he was allowed access, and gazed at his reflection.

 

His voice gone, caught in his throat, Jack stared with horror at the stricken face that peered back at him.

 

The face of a stranger, of an old man, burdened with the lines of years and distress.

 

Stumbling back, Jack hit the bathroom door.

 

Just what the hell had happened to him?

 

Chapter 2

 

 

After what felt like an eternity drifting in limbo, or maybe he'd just blacked out in shock, Jack gathered his thoughts and tried to assess his situation.

 

The image staring back at him was wrong. Very wrong. Jack was both drawn and repulsed by it. He was too old, too fatigued, like a man that had been through the wringer without any hope of making it out alive.

 

But it was him. Despite it all, it was him. This face held the same eyes, the same nose, the same mouth. His hair was whiter, the lines in his face were deeper, but the actual constitution was the same. Thankfully, the reflection wasn't that of an elderly man taking his last breath, or anything remotely close to the man he'd become on Kynthia's planet all those years ago. No, this was a look at what he could become in a few years.

 

None of that eased any of his fears and insecurities. Definitely, something was happening and he had to get to the bottom of it. Some sick bureaucrat or agent was trying to get to him, trying to get him to break.

 

Despite the fact Jack didn't really like his job, he wasn't about to let those shadowy figures sacrifice the planet, or the welfare of its people, to get even with him.

 

And if not? If he'd gotten involved in something that went well beyond the normal?

 

Then, he needed Carter.

 

Jack spent the next half hour tearing his house apart, looking for his access card and other associated materials to get into the SGC. If he couldn't reach Carter or Daniel by their cell numbers, he'd have to go straight to the source.

 

But even something as simple as finding his work related stuff was a chore. Nothing was where it was supposed to be, and when he tried to call the SGC, he only got bounced from office to office, continually put on hold and told to wait.

 

He ran the damn SGC. What the hell was going on over there?

 

A foothold situation? It wouldn't be the first time that had happened.

 

Maybe there had been a foothold situation and it had leaked out of the base and into Colorado Springs.

 

That was not a thought he wanted to entertain.

 

Though, before he even considered calling the president, he wanted more information, some intel on what was going down on base. But his options were dwindling.

 

He'd called Teal'c, Siler, Daniel, Carter, even Walter what's-his-name, but couldn't get through to any of them. He had reached the same roadblocks when he called the Pentagon, looking for Hammond or Davis.

 

Royally frustrated, Jack had even tried Carter and Daniel's home numbers, only to reach the same result. Something was seriously not right with the world.

 

Cursing like a sailor, Jack stormed into his kitchen, and grabbed the phone book off the counter, which thank God was where it was supposed to be. He didn't even bother to look under Jackson or Carter knowing full well neither of them had a listed number. But he was going out on a limb here, and hoping to hit gold.

 

Flipping through the phone book, he yelled out and shook his fist in triumph, before grabbing his phone. Quickly, he dialed the number, and waited.

 

"Hello?" the voice on the other end asked.

 

"Yeah, this Pete Shanahan?"

 

There was a pause. "Yeah. Who's this?"

 

Jack tossed the phone book on his table and paced the kitchen, stopping every so often to frown over things that were in his house that he didn't recognize. "Is Samantha Carter there?"

 

Another pause. "Who's calling?"

 

Jack rolled his eyes, tapping his fingers on the wall impatiently. He didn't need for Pete to get all alpha male on him now. "A friend of hers. Now, is she there? Can you put her on the line? It's important." When Jack didn't get a response, he strummed harder, feeling like his insides would boil. Losing patience, fast, Jack snapped. "Hey, come on, Pete. Put Carter on the phone."

 

"Hello?"

 

Jack exhaled with relief. "Carter. It's about time. You're a tough gal to reach."

 

There was another pause. Another friggin' pause. "Who's this?"

 

"Carter!" Jack had officially lost all patience. "You know who this is! What the hell is wrong with you?"

 

He was greeted with a snort. "You called me just to yell at me?"

 

He closed his eyes. Was this how Daniel had felt in one of those alternate realities?

 

"Look, Carter. Something weird is going down and I want to get to the bottom of it. We've got to fix whatever's wrong." Considering his words, Jack continued. "Grab Daniel and Teal'c and meet me at my place in an hour."

 

He didn't even allow Carter to answer him. Confident that she would listen, he shut off the phone and exhaled slowly. Now, all he would have to do is get ready and wait.

 

When an hour came and went, Jack started to become concerned. Carter was nothing if not punctual, which meant if she was late, either she had hit a snag or she just wasn't bothering on coming.

 

Somehow, the thought that Carter might be taking the second option didn't surprise Jack, and that in and of itself was unnerving. If anyone would listen to him, it was Carter.

 

Jack rubbed his hands over his face, trying to knead away the weariness he felt. Part of him wanted to convince himself that this was all a dream; it was too crazy and farfetched to be anything else. But another part of him was anxious, knowing just how insane life could really be, and wondered what could have happened to him and everyone around him.

 

But Carter would come through for him. She always did.

 

Upon hearing the sound of a car pulling into his driveway, Jack sighed with relief and started to make his way to his foyer. Once she got here, he would convince her, Daniel, and Teal'c that something had gone wrong, maybe an alternate reality, or the Goa'uld, or something since he definitely knew he hadn't aged that much in one night.

 

Jack didn't even wait for Carter to ring the bell before he grabbed the door and flung it open. "It's about time," he told her. "We've got work to do."

 

That was all he'd managed to say before the shock had a chance to settle into his mind. Carter was different. Not so much different, but just enough to jar him. For one thing, she looked older, with crow's feet scratching at the corners of her eyes and with hair that was a little longer than he was used to seeing on her. Aside from that, she looked like Carter. Blonde, inquisitive, tough…only she lacked something, that spark that she always carried in her wide eyes.

 

"Carter?" he managed to say. Slowly, he leaned to his right, peaking around her. Pete was outside, leaning against their van. When had they gotten a van? He was also watching them very closely. Jack rolled his gaze back to Carter and forced a smile. "Brought friends?"

 

When she started to scowl at him, Jack knew to stop. "Did you bring Teal'c and Daniel?"

 

"Teal'c is off-world and Daniel is in the van," she said coolly. Her rigid posture sent him all kinds of warnings signals. "What do you want, Jack?"

 

Now hearing her call him by his name and not his rank really threw him. "Jack?"

 

She crossed her arms, radiating tension. "You wanted me to come over to play games? Or are you serious this time?"

 

Jack blinked at her, shifting his weight while he tried to figure out Carter. When had everything changed?

 

"Carter, I don't know what your problem is, but I am willing to bet it has something to do with the Goa'uld or something that happened off-world."

 

She started. "Excuse me?"

 

"Have you even looked at yourself?" He motioned to her face, and then back out the door. "You don't look like yourself. I don't look like myself."

 

"So, you called me to insult me?"

 

Jack exhaled in frustration, wishing Daniel would get out of the damn van and help him. He wanted to jump on her, insult her, and say whatever was coming to his mind, but he bit his tongue. "Something is wrong and we need to fix it," he said finally.

 

That seemed to be the right response, he thought, watching her relax. "I'm glad you finally acknowledge it."

 

Jack really had no clue what she was talking about, but he had a sinking feeling that he wasn't going to be able to count on Carter to help him out of this jam. Whatever had happened, she was part of it, too.

 

"Carter…I think something has happened to me and I'm trying to get back to the way things are supposed to be."

 

She uncrossed her arms, cautiously stepping inside his house. "And what is that?"

 

"You, me, Daniel, and Teal'c," he started, trying to keep the tone light. He thought back to the calls he wasn't able to connect and could only deduce he'd somehow been cut out of the Program. "Joking around, saving the day, you know."

 

Her reaction wasn't exactly what he had been expecting. Gently, she brought him into the living room, and sat him down onto the couch. "We can't go back to that," she said softly, almost sounding as if she pitied him. "You know that. You do know that, right?"

 

Why was she talking to him like he was an idiot? Okay, so sometimes he acted dumb, but give him a break…

 

"Carter! I woke up like this!" he shouted, pointing to his face. "I'm not supposed to look like an old man. You remember those nano-whatevers from Argos?" He kept going despite her shocked face. "Something's happened. One day I am running the SGC and the next day I can't reach the base!"

 

She opened her mouth, but he shook his head, stopping her. "You know me. I'm the last one to buy into any of this science mumbo jumbo, but I'm thinking we have a foothold situation, or the Goa'uld have control of the SGC and the Pentagon. And by the looks of it, you're affected, too." He held his head, ignoring the throbbing. "Maybe an alternate reality, or time travel, or some serious mind trip. I don't know. Something's wrong and we've got to fix it."

 

"Oh my God."  She laughed, a derisive laugh, one touched with so much apprehension that it made Jack feel even more distressed. "You're completely delusional."

 

Now it was his turn to be shocked. "Excuse me?"

 

"You've stopped taking it, haven't you?" She jumped to her feet and rushed into the kitchen. "Damn you, Jack. I thought we could end this today."

 

Dazed, Jack rose to his feet and followed her, wishing to God she would start making some sense. Someone had to tell him what was going on here.

 

"Stopped taking what?" he asked, frowning as she picked up the phone book he'd been using earlier. "End what? Carter, what the hell?"

 

"Ten years," she mumbled, grabbing his phone and dialing quickly. "After all this time, I just thought, maybe…" She shook her head. "Nothing has changed at all."

 

Ten years? Had Carter said ten years? Jack nearly choked on the thought, his mind reeling. Was she really implying he couldn't remember a damn thing that happened over the past ten years?

 

Wasn't possible. Just wasn't possible.

 

"Doctor Schneider, please." She hurried to the other side of the kitchen table. "Yes, please. It's important. It concerns Jack O'Neill."

 

"Carter! What are you doing?!"

 

"Doctor Schneider?" She sighed with relief. "Thank God. I need for you to get down to Jack O'Neill's house right away. He's stopped taking his medication." Jack nearly balked when Carter glanced quickly in his direction. There was fear in her eyes. Fear. "Please hurry. He's not making any sense and I'm not sure what he might do."

 

"Medication?" He lurched forward, trying to grab at the phone. "What medication!"

"I'm going to go now," she said, her voice shaking with anger and anxiety. "I can't believe I believed you! You haven't changed at all."

 

With that, she dashed for the door, running out of his kitchen and into his living room to reach the exit. But Jack wasn't about to let her go, not now, not when he felt like he was close to knowing the truth.

 

"Carter!" he ran after her, following her down the steps as she ran to her car. Just in time, he snatched the sleeve of her blouse, able to yank her back towards him. "Tell me what happened!"

 

"Let go of me, Jack!" she shouted, jerking away from him. "I will have Pete arrest you if I have to."

 

"Carter!" he yelled again. "I don't know what's happened. You got to throw me a bone here!"

 

She shook her head, cursing as she stormed towards the van. "You screw up and then you claim amnesia just to satisfy yourself." She turned around, her glare hard and cold. "You've sunk to some lows over the years but this…"

 

Jack wasn't about to let this be the end. Charging after her, he pushed Pete aside, knocking him to the ground. He might be ten years older, but that didn't mean he didn't have any energy left. Scowling, Jack was about to ream out his subordinate, when he caught sight of a shadow sitting in the back seat of the van. Seizing the opportunity, Jack darted past Carter and flung the door open.

 

"Daniel!" he yelled, grabbing the man by the arm. "Get out here and help me!"

 

When all he was greeted with was a yelp and sob, Jack withdrew, stunned to find Daniel staring at him, his eyes wide and magnified by his glasses, his body cowering in the small confines of the seat in the van. While Jack was unnerved to find Daniel had changed too, the hair above his ears had streaks of gray, and the creases in his forehead had deepened, Jack was more disturbed by his attitude than his looks. Stumbling back, Jack could only gawk at Daniel's timid and frightened behavior.

 

"Look what you've done," Pete said, pushing Jack aside. "I could lock you up right on the spot."

 

Jack didn’t know what to say. What had happened to his life? His friends and coworkers? Carter…Daniel…

 

"You really are that insensitive, aren't you?" Carter snapped, standing in front of him, affectively cutting off his direct line of sight on Daniel. She reached over and calmed Daniel, rubbing his back and talking to him in a hushed voice. When Daniel seemed to be placated, she shut the door and turned back to Jack. "I thought you really wanted to make amends. I guess I was wrong."

 

He watched her walk away and disappear into the other side of the van. Pete glared at him long and hard before following her. Within the span of a minute, Carter had climbed into the back seat with Daniel and Pete was prepping the engine to leave.

 

"Carter," Jack whispered, still shocked.

 

Numb, he watched them go, and drive out of his life, leaving him to his own isolation and bewildered thoughts.

 

 

Chapter 3

 

 

"Now, are you going to tell me why you stopped taking your medication?"

 

Jack glared at the doctor. She was smooth one, he could tell that much. Tall, thin, with dark curly black hair, she had miles of legs that just went on, legs that were especially noticeable with the way she was sitting across from him on one of his chairs. Normally, Jack would be turned on by such a sight, especially if she were blonde, but the fact that she was here evaluating his sanity was a bit of a killjoy.

 

Muttering under his breath, Jack cursed Carter. What had happened? What was going on with Daniel? There was no way that things could have gone that sour between all of them. And there was no way that he'd have pulled a Rip Van Winkle and slept away ten years of his life.

 

Bouncing his leg up and down nervously, he covered his mouth, struggling to come to terms with the mess that had been thrown on him since he'd woken up this morning.

 

"Jack?" the shrink asked.

 

Withdrawing his hands, but remaining in the same position, he narrowed his eyes. "I'm not on any meds."

 

The woman nodded once, what Jack would call a sympathy nod, before she gazed at him warmly. Not warmly. Jack knew those looks. Back from his tour of Iraq, the Air Force had set him up with a dozen or so different shrinks, trying to get him to "talk" about his time under enemy lines, to "talk" about the torture he'd experienced and the pain he'd felt. It had been no different than his operations in Europe during the Cold War days, his dealings in Iran, or his time after Charlie's death.

 

They were all the same.

 

"What the hell do you want?" Jack snapped. "Who set you up? Kinsey paying you? The Trust?"

 

She sighed and shook her head. "Jack, you promised me that you'd take your medication faithfully if you were released."

 

"Released?" Oh, she was so not talking about what he thought she was. "You're kidding me, right?"

 

"This isn't a joke, Jack," she replied sternly. "This is very serious. You can't just pretend nothing happened. A head injury is a life changing event."

 

Jack just stared at her. So, now it was a head injury. Hesitantly, Jack brought his hand up to his forehead, rubbing it, applying gentle pressure while gliding his hand to his temples.

 

It was ridiculous for him to even consider this shrink might be right. This whole scenario had to be an illusion, or caused by a Goa'uld, or Kinsey, a human Replicator, or hell, even the Acshen.

 

"You don't remember, do you?" she asked gently.

 

"I don't remember it because it never happened." He rose to his feet and stood over her. "So, why don't we just skip the games and get right to the point. Who are you?"

 

Slowly, she rose to her feet, gazing at him levelly, her brown eyes never wavering in their intensity. "Jack, you aren't going to try and intimidate me. I know you better. And you know who I am. I'm your psychiatrist, Doctor Schneider. Now, sit down and we'll get through this together, okay?"

 

Despite his mental protests, Jack nodded and eased himself back down on his couch. His little tiff with Carter had taken more out of him than he'd like to admit, and that dull sense of fatigue he'd experienced this morning was threatening to overwhelm him again. Besides, he knew by reading this woman over the past few minutes he wasn't going to get anywhere if he kept snapping at her, so he figured he'd take a page out of a different book for a while and go along with it.

 

"That's better," the shrink said in a soothing voice, lowering herself back into his chair. "Now, what is it you don't remember?"

 

Jack fought the urge to make a snarky remark over such a stupid question and was pleased when he succeeded. "Don't remember a damn thing, Doc."

 

"Nothing at all?"

 

He sighed. He hated shrinks. "I woke up this morning, tried calling people I knew, discovered I am definitely not getting my beauty sleep, and had a run in with my old pal Carter."

 

"You became hostile with her," Schneider said.

 

"Hostile? Hardly." His glare intensified. "You tell me if you woke up without any memory over the past ten years if you'd be serenading the clouds."

 

"Behavioral and personality changes are not uncommon with frontal lobe impairment," she told him. "And with some damage to your

temporal—"

 

"Lady, I don't have brain damage."

 

She shook her head at him again, causing his annoyance to flair even more. "It's been ten years. Denial over the fact isn't going to change anything. You need to accept this impairment and move on."

 

"I'm not impaired in any way," he told her flatly. "I'm perfectly fine. It's all of you that have been sucked into some bizarre reality."

 

The psychiatrist bowed her head and sighed. "I had really hoped we'd gotten past this a long time ago."

 

"I've never met you before today." He was quickly becoming exasperated. "What about that fact do you not understand?"

 

"Jack, listen to me…"

 

"No, you listen to me," Jack snapped. "I've supposedly got ten years missing from my life caused by a head injury I don't remember ever getting and one of my subordinates, an old teammate of mine, hates me while the other one apparently has some issues of his own." He leaned forward, lowering his tone. "I don't want to hear any pop psych or some in depth analysis that my problems are related to my mother. I want someone to tell me what happened, and I want to know now."

 

Doctor Legs didn't budge. "If you had stayed on your medication, you wouldn't have had this problem. I don't feel the best course of action would be for me to tell you. Get back on your medication, let your memories return, and get on with your life."

 

No, no. He'd heard this one years ago. Just another shrink's way of bribing a patient into taking medication. Dope a person up, and he stops being a problem.

 

He'd dealt with addiction once before in his life. He wasn't going down that road again.

 

"How about you give me some place to start first," Jack said, testing her. "Like how about telling me what caused this?" He pointed to his head. "And what about Daniel? What happened to him?"

 

The psychiatrist wasn't pleased. He could always tell. "You are still in denial about that as well?"

 

"Pretty hard to be in denial when you can't remember what happened."

 

Schneider sighed and leaned back in her chair, regarding him carefully. "You know about the incident that happened off-world. You know the damage that you, Doctor Jackson, and Teal'c suffered."

 

"Teal'c?" Jack hadn't even considered that possibility. "Is he all right?"

 

"You know as well as I do how Teal'c is," she said calmly.

 

"No, I don't, in case you forgot," he said bitterly. "Since apparently I did."

 

Instead of another sympathetic gaze, Jack was surprised when the shrink rose to her feet, grabbed her purse, and came to stand over him. "It will come back to you with time."

 

Not a good enough answer.

 

"Then what about Daniel?" he asked, standing to meet her, having a feeling that the last person to whom he had any hope for discovering what happened to him was about to walk out that door. "What happened to him?"

 

Schneider's whole demeanor changed, and he picked up on the acute sadness in her face. "He didn't fare as well as you and Teal'c."

 

He wanted to thank her for stating the obvious, but didn't, more concerned as he watched her head for the foyer. If she left, then he'd never find a way to undo this, find out what happened to Daniel, Teal'c, Carter, and himself.

 

"Where are they keeping Daniel?"

 

She gazed at him gently. "You know where."

 

"What happened off-world?" Jack asked, getting right to the point.

 

She paused at the door, turning to squeeze him on the shoulder. "Just get some rest, Jack." Stopping, she started to rummage through her purse before reaching out and handing him a bottle. "Take your pills. They'll help you keep your mood swings and your aggression under control. I know you're still struggling with it even all these years later, but that is why it's important to take your medication." She adjusted the strap of her purse on her shoulder. "Promise me you'll take those, and I won't send someone here to watch over you."

 

Jack grunted, glaring at the pill bottle. He hated pills. He hated them so damn much.

 

"Yeah, I promise," he muttered.

 

"Good. I'll check on you in a couple of days." She smiled warmly at him. "Now, no more outbursts, okay?"

 

"Yeah, whatever."

 

"Jack," she said firmly.

 

"Oh, I promise," he said flatly. Promise to beat the living crap out of whoever started this game, he thought to himself.

 

"Good," she said again. "Take care of yourself."

 

Jack nodded, watching her go.  When she had left, and her car had pulled from the street, Jack stepped away from his window and began to walk back to his bathroom. Strangely, the room was still warm from this morning, though the steam and the pressure had lessened considerably.

 

He took a moment to stare at his reflection, once again haunted by the face of a man he didn't recognize. That small part of him, that part that whispered doubts in his ear that this whole crazy nightmare was true, made him look deeper, forcing him to bear into the worn eyes that watched him from behind the mirror.

 

They were the eyes of a lonely man, a man saddled with years of pain and regret.

 

Slowly, Jack brought his fingers back to his head, pressing onto his skin, and trailing down to his left temple. There, he saw the faint remembrance of a scar, a long thin line that extended down over his ear.

 

The shrink had mentioned something about damage, damage to his mind.

 

Down trodden, Jack gazed at the pill bottle in his other hand. He could feel the pull to just accept everything that was happening, take his pills like the good soldier, knowing that when he woke up the next morning, everything would be okay.

 

But he also felt the burning deep down that no matter what he did, things would never be okay, and that he was on the brink of losing everything.

 

Without another thought, Jack cast aside his feelings and did what he did best. Took action.

 

Ripping open the bottle and washing down two pills with a glass of water, he grunted with dissatisfaction. With one last look at the bottle, he dumped the rest into his toilet, flushed, and tossed the bottle in the trash.

 

Then, he went back to bed and tried to bury the unease, discomfort, and the nagging persistent voice that kept calling him from somewhere in the darkest parts of his mind.

 

Why…

 

Chapter 4

 

 

The next day brought a whole new set of problems to the table.

 

Jack spent the better half of the morning doing some creative investigation, watching the news, cleaning his home, and flipping through old photo albums, intent on picking up the pieces and making sense of the puzzle that was interfering with his life.

 

Oddly, he couldn't find any pictures from the past ten years or anything remotely nostalgic with which he could identify. Though, he realized that he could be looking at things he'd accumulated over the past few years and just couldn't recognize them. So, aside from a few odds and ends that puzzled him, like a book on Carthage and one of Daniel's old journals, none of it made any sense.

 

The news, though, just confirmed his worst fears. According to the morning and evening shows, ten years had gone by, though you would never know it. Technology hadn't changed all that much, surprisingly, and world affairs were pretty much the same as they had always been. All except one of the islands of Hawaii was missing or something to that affect.

 

Jack could care less. He couldn't find any of his access cards, or anything relating to the SGC at all. However, by now he'd figured that didn't really matter. It was apparent that sometime after the "incident" he'd left or been forced to leave the Stargate Program.

 

It seemed that no matter where he looked or what he tried, he was always left with some kind of blockade.

 

That was until 2:45 in the afternoon when Jack hit pay dirt.

 

An hour later, Jack parked his truck in the visitor center at the nearby USAF hospital. Shivering, shaking off the chill of the late afternoon, Jack made his way over to the Mental Health wing of the adjoining building.

 

It took a lot of calls and a lot of connections, but Jack was finally able to pinpoint where to find Daniel.

 

Feeling a little anxious, and even a bit angry, Jack entered the complex, casually walking to the reception desk.  Two days ago he would have never expected to find himself here, contemplating strange theories of the unknown and wondering about his place in the world. Two days ago the most pressing thing on his mind had been whether to buy beef jerky at the local market. Two days ago, his weird life had at least been normal for him.

 

He gingerly touched the scar on his left temple, dropping his hand when the receptionist finally paid attention to him.

 

"Can I help you?" he asked.

 

"Yeah." Jack leaned over the counter and scanned the various items on the desk. "I'm here to see Daniel Jackson."

 

The man nodded, leafing through a book, leaving Jack some time to get a good look at the facility. It hadn't changed much, he mused, eyeing the sterile white walls that were touched with the smell of concrete and disinfectant. For a moment, Jack thought he could smell dirt too, but it was ridiculous, considering how neat the USAF tended to be when caring for their own.

 

"And your name?" the man asked him.

 

"Jack O'Neill."

 

The receptionist nodded again, but Jack didn't miss the frown that was starting to form on his face.  He leafed through the book again.

 

Jack stopped leaning and stood straighter, trying to sneak a peek at the booklet. "There a problem, son?"

 

His frown deepened. "I don't see your name listed here on the visitors' roster."

 

Figures, Jack thought, wondering what else could go wrong. Security would be tight – he had known that before he'd decided to come down here. Daniel not only was a civilian working for the Air Force, but he worked in the most top secret of all the programs in the military. If something had happened to him, it was a sure bet that the government would keep him secure and safe. Away from prying eyes, that is.

 

"I haven't been here in awhile, "Jack admitted. "I used to be his old boss, back in the day." He forced one of those smug smiles of his, but tried for it to come off at least in part as genuine. "Why don't you make a few calls? I can wait."

 

The man paused for a moment, as if unsure whether he should even give Jack the time of day. But finally he nodded once more and instructed Jack to take a seat in the nearby waiting room.

 

Still pissed that he had to go through all of this bureaucratic bull, Jack complied nonetheless. Once they cleared him, he'd be able to see Daniel, he reminded himself, and figure out what happened. Perhaps with Daniel's help, Jack could figure out exactly what had happened, and they could reverse it.

 

Ten years or not, Jack was still convinced this whole fiasco was a trick to bring him, his friends, and the SGC down to its knees. He wasn't about to let that happen.

 

"Sir?"

 

Jack raised his eyebrows and leaned over the counter once again. "Yes?"

 

"You've been cleared," the younger man replied and then pointed to his left. A large, brutish looking man had approached them, and now was waiting silently in the hallway. "Aaron will take you down to the room."

 

"Thank you," Jack said with another small smile, falling into step beside Aaron.

 

Over the next few minutes, Jack tried to get some information on Daniel's condition from Aaron, without trying to seem overly inquisitive. Aaron had fed Jack some details that he'd already figured, but at least now he could have confirmation.

 

Jack knew during those vital few minutes with Daniel that the man had some kind of mental deficiency. Daniel was nothing but daring. Timidity just wasn't his style. His reaction in the car…well, frankly, it made Jack's blood boil.

 

But Aaron had given him more of a foundation. The medical aide had told him that Daniel's mental state hadn't changed much from when they first received him, nearly ten years ago. He continued to have a limited awareness of himself and his surroundings, and usually needed to be stimulated into interacting with his environment. What shocked Jack the most was when Aaron told him that Daniel still rarely spoke.

 

Daniel not talking? Jack couldn't wrap his mind around that one.

 

When they reached Daniel's room, Jack thought he might lose his nerve. Things had already gone sour with Carter, what would happen with Daniel?

 

He didn't even want to think about Teal'c at this point.

 

But the problems remained. If Carter was angry enough to stop speaking to him over something he couldn't remember, and Daniel wasn't in a state to help at all, while Teal'c was "off-world," whatever that meant, how would Jack find a way to fix this whole mess and make things right again?

 

Could he?

 

The medical aide held him back, instructing him to wait at the door while he "roused" Daniel. Jack nodded, beginning to feel angry again, but did as he was told.

 

To a certain extent.

 

While the medical assistant opened the door to Daniel's room, Jack hung back, but peered around the corner, needing to assess Daniel's living state. What he saw, somehow, didn't surprise him.

 

The room was blanche, having white walls with very little decoration. There was a bookcase, a bed, a small nightstand, and shelving that housed some odd-looking knick-knacks that Jack didn't recognize. Dull. It was dull. That was a word he'd never have associated with Daniel. Boring? Yes. Dull? No way.

 

Aside from that, there was a chair, which had a small frail looking woman he didn't know sitting in it and two large windows. Then, of course, there was Daniel.

 

Jack had to admit it was a pathetic sight. Daniel was sitting on a window seat by one of the large windows, his knees up to his chest, his head resting lightly on the glass. He would have been fully wrapped into himself if not for the positioning of his arms. Stiff and still, they were folded over his chest while his immobile hands curled just beneath his chin. It was as if the world around him didn't exist.

 

Or, he was a caged animal longing for freedom.

 

"Daniel," Aaron said gently, placing a hand on Daniel's shoulder. "You have a visitor."

 

When Daniel made no move that he was aware Aaron was even there, the medical assistant tried again. While he unsuccessfully tried to bring Daniel out of his deep reverie, the woman who had been quietly sitting in the chair all this time, rose to her feet and crossed the room to speak with Jack.

 

"I'm Tiffany," she told him, extending her hand. He shook it heartily. "I stay here with Daniel and keep him company a couple of days a week." She frowned, cocking her head to the side. "I don't think I've seen you here before."

 

Jack cleared his throat, feeling a little awkward. "Yeah. I'm an old friend of his. I don't see him nearly enough, so I thought I’d drop by and spend some time with him."

 

She eyed him over once and lifted her chin. "I see."

 

Jack found himself clearing his throat again.

 

"Daniel," he heard Aaron say again, but this time more sternly. When Jack returned his attention to the two of them, he noticed that Aaron was now trying to shift Daniel away from the window, and back to reality, forcibly uncurling his stiff limbs. "Daniel, someone is here to see you."

 

Despite his mental difficulties, Jack had to give the man credit. Daniel was a stubborn pain in the ass, and he wasn't about to have any part of what this aide was trying to get him to do. Whether it was a fragment of Daniel's old personality or not, Jack couldn't say. But the resistance was enough to bring a smile to Jack's lips.

 

"He's like that a lot," Tiffany told Jack. "He just goes off somewhere else. We try and keep him grounded in reality, but he slips so easily."

 

"Doesn't sound too different than what he used to be like," Jack said wryly. Shifting gears, he walked past the woman and stepped closer to Daniel and Aaron. "Hey, Daniel you feel like cooperating some time today?"

 

Daniel never replied to him, and again, made no move to acknowledge him. However, by this time, Aaron had been successful in repositioning Daniel. He was now on his feet, leaning into the medical assistant for support. This was the first chance Jack had to really soak in the details of Daniel's face, and his whole demeanor. Suddenly, the smile that had touched him just moments ago faded, and Jack was left with the stark reality of Daniel's condition.

 

He was empty.

 

Daniel stared at Jack – his eyes, his face vacant and unyielding. It wasn't just that Daniel was locked away from the outside world. Daniel wasn't there anymore. He was gone. Completely gone.

 

That was a little too much for Jack to take.

 

Breathing out, he stumbled back a bit, nearly losing his footing. He cursed himself, wondering if it were those stupid pills he took yesterday that was making him so weak, or if it was just the shock of the entire damn situation. Thankfully, or more embarrassingly, Tiffany was there to support him by grabbing his arm.

 

Aaron didn't flitch. Gently nudging Daniel forward, he motioned to Jack. "Daniel, this Jack O'Neill. He came by to see you today."

 

Again, there was nothing from Daniel.

 

"Is that any way to treat an old friend?" Jack managed to say, teasingly. When Daniel continued to stare at him blankly, Jack shifted his weight and steadied himself, moving out to touch him. "Hey, Daniel, it's me."

 

He calmly patted Daniel's shoulder, offering the best smile he could, considering the circumstances.

 

Suddenly, Daniel emitted a soft cry, shuddering away from Jack's touch. Jack watched with frustration and bewilderment as Daniel started to gasp in short breaths, his eyes wild, his whole body blown into panic. On the verge of hyperventilating, he stumbled back and dug his face into the neck of the medical aide.

 

Jack's immediate reaction was to reach out and console him, but Tiffany quickly held him back, pushing Jack farther and farther away from Daniel.

 

"What the hell is wrong with him?" Jack asked, totally blown by Daniel's reaction, and panic-stricken body.

 

"He doesn't like to be touched," Tiffany answered with an air of distain in her voice. "At least not by strangers."

 

"I'm not a stranger," Jack said in mild protest. He wasn't. Daniel knew him and knew him well. He refused to believe all this talk that he'd abandoned his old teammates for ten years. "This is Daniel. He knows me."

 

"Well, not anymore," she snapped back bitterly. "I think it would be best for you to leave."

 

"What?" She had to be kidding.

 

"She's right, sir," Aaron said as gently as he could. He was rubbing Daniel's back, trying to dislodge the man from his side, a gesture that was setting Jack off even more. "He's a bit upset and I need to calm him down."

 

"Then get him settled," Jack told him. "I'll wait."

 

Aaron and Tiffany exchanged a look, and suddenly Jack felt he was intentionally left out of some big joke. "What?" he said again.

 

"General O'Neill."

 

Immediately, his spirits were lifted by the few words acknowledging his military rank, but were also crushed by the voice that spoke them. With a scowl that showed he meant business, Jack turned to face the man standing in the doorway.

 

"MacKenzie," he said flatly.

 

Doctor MacKenzie didn't even flinch at his tone, that insensitive bastard, but just waited until Jack was done glaring at him. The old doc still managed to look the same, even though his hair had gone from tar black to a sleek silver, and he still had this way of looking right through a man just by peering over the rims of his glasses. It was always a less than patient disapproving look. But it seemed to work for him.

 

"May I have a word with you outside?" MacKenzie stated more than asked, motioning to the hallway with a tap of his chart.

 

Knowing that look all too well, Jack nodded and followed the doctor out the door. He wasn't going to get very far with Daniel while he was in a state anyway. Maybe by the time MacKenzie said his piece, Daniel would be up for round two.

 

"What can I do for you, Doc?"

 

"I've never seen you come down to the complex since the incident," the doctor told him bluntly.

 

Jack glared at him, more than willing to bet Daniel's condition was all MacKenzie's fault. Or at least he tried to convince himself of it.

 

"I'm not surprised to see you here," Jack muttered, blatantly ignoring MacKenzie's previous statement. He knew the remark sounded silly. Naturally, MacKenzie would be involved, but that wasn't Jack's point.

 

The doctor knew it as well. "I've been monitoring Daniel's mental health from the very start."

 

"I bet you have."

 

"Walk with me, General."

 

Muttering impatiently under his breath, Jack fell in step beside MacKenzie. The two of them walked slowly down the long corridor. Occasionally, Jack would find a patient or two wandering the halls with a caretaker or guardian, but for the most part they were alone, the corridors empty.

 

The place echoed of lost goodbyes.

 

"As you can see, Daniel hasn't recovered from what happened." MacKenzie didn't look at Jack, but kept walking straight. "His capabilities are severely limited. He is incapable of taking care of himself, though does have some independence, depending on the task. He has what appears to be some self-awareness, but it's difficult for us to completely assess just how much. He mostly keeps to himself. While we encourage him to break out of that shell of his, but…" He chuckled. "Daniel can be quite stubborn at times. He has to be stimulated to interact with his environment and rarely does it on his own. When he does, he doesn't take well to strangers or change."

 

Which was obvious to even a regular Joe, Jack thought, keeping his glare steady on the psychiatrist.

 

"Why are you telling me this?" Jack asked.

 

MacKenzie stopped and regarded him seriously. "I can only assume that your coming here is because you have some regrets over what happened and want to try and change things. Or even fix them."

 

Jack hated psychiatrists. He really did. "I came by here to see my friend. It doesn't matter if he's…here or not."

 

"After ten years?" He shook his head. "There's something more going on." Studying him closely, MacKenize crossed his arms over his chart and spoke again. "I understand that you've been stuck in a cycle of grief, anger, and denial for the past few years. Are you finally coming to terms with what happened on P3X-329?"

 

He had to be kidding. Jack had just gone through all of this with Doctor Legs.

 

When Jack didn't respond right away, MacKenzie got that burning look in his eyes, and Jack just knew he was going to that place all shrinks loved to go.

 

"Have you been taking your medication?" MacKenzie studied him closer. "Does Doctor Schneider know you're here? A man in your condition…"

 

So, Jack thought, he was in league with Legs herself.

 

"Yes, yes, apparently, I had quite the blow to the head some years back, and Daniel jumped on the same train," Jack blurted out hotly. "Whatever happened isn't important. You shrinks all love to go and dig stuff from the past that is completely irrelevant when all that matters is the present. And that's why I am here."

 

It was the biggest bunch of bull that Jack had laid out in awhile, but that was all this shrink was getting from him. Angry, Jack was quickly tiring of this game. If he was dreaming, he got the point. If the Goa'uld were messing with his head, they weren't accomplishing much. If it were the human replicators, well then, he hoped they died of rot.

 

MacKenzie waited until Jack was finished his rant, standing patiently and continuing to give him that disapproving look. When Jack just rolled his eyes and shoved his hands in his pockets, MacKenzie spoke up again.

 

"Of course the present is important. Your coming here today is an important step in the healing process for you."

 

For cryin' out loud…

 

"I am just not sure it's the best thing for Daniel," he stated softly.

 

"Come again?" Jack couldn't believe his ears. "What does that have to do with anything?"

 

"Daniel is in a very fragile state. He can't handle over stimulation. Just judging by his reaction to you, I don't think it would be best for you to come to see him again. At least, not know."

 

"Not acceptable," Jack told him.

 

"This isn't something you can negotiate, General," MacKenzie said. "Daniel is under my care and my assessment is that your presence is detrimental to his health."

 

"Well, you're not in charge of his life, all right?" Jack took another step closer, towering over the other man. "He used to report to me. I can make some calls."

 

"So can I, General," MacKenzie said, matching him in tone. "Colonel Carter acts on his behalf. She acts as his power of attorney and has the final say on anything concerning Daniel. So I believe it would be best that we leave things the way they are, don't you think?"

 

What the hell? Carter was what?

 

Jack went to open his mouth to argue the point, but MacKenzie was already gone. The man had side stepped him, making his way back the way they'd come.

 

This left Jack alone again, trapped between a reality that just couldn't be true and the reality that begged to be heard.

 

Chapter 5

 

The next day, Jack was back at the mental health facility.

 

"Jack O'Neill to see Daniel Jackson," he told the woman behind the desk.

 

She frowned, flipping through the booklet on the desk, but he just smiled and nodded, feigning patience. While he waited, running through the same scenario that he'd faced yesterday, Jack contemplated his next move.

 

Touching Daniel was a bad thing. He had that covered. He'd struck out the first time at his house, and then the second time yesterday. Obviously, that was a no-no.

 

So, he'd have to rely on talking.

 

Jack sighed. He was screwed.

 

After the receptionist did her thing, and went through the motions, she introduced Jack to another assistant, this one named Herman. Herman reminded Jack of that Wolfcastle character on the Simpsons. He was tall, blonde, and had enough muscle to make Schwarzenegger jealous in his early days. But he was an upbeat man and very…cozy.

 

"Just this way, sir," he said cheerfully. "So, you used to work with Daniel?"

 

"Yeah," Jack replied cautiously. "He used to work for me."

 

Herman's eyes lit up. "I heard that Daniel was an archaeologist or a linguist at some time. That sounds absolutely fascinating."

 

God, this man was Jonas on steroids.

 

"He was good at what he did," Jack admitted, slowing down as they reached the doorway to Daniel's room. Hesitantly, he hovered by the door, resisting the urge to peek. "Can I see him?"

 

Herman nodded, but held up a hand. "Let me go in first. Daniel needs consistency and slight changes can set him off."

 

"So I've noticed," he mumbled to himself, wishing they'd have told him this yesterday.

 

Sighing, Jack watched Herman disappear into Daniel's room. Jack was never a patient man, even though he had learned to be, especially on those long missions in Special Ops, but he just didn't have time to be standing around waiting for Daniel to get his act together.

 

He took a small step inside the room.

 

A nurse was leaving, or least he thought that was what she was. Whoever she was, she smiled at Jack and slipped out of the room without a word.

 

Jack decided he already liked her way better than the old bat that was in here yesterday.

 

Herman was on the other side of the room, tending to Daniel. Today, Daniel seemed less fascinated with the window and had taken to lying on his bed. Jack wasn't sure which sight was more pathetic: watching Daniel gaze longingly out a window or watching him curled up on a ball on his bed, his back to the world.

 

The medical aide was certainly trying to rouse him. Leaning over Daniel, he was talking to him softly, rubbing his arm gently. When Daniel got into a mood…

 

"Rise and shine, Daniel!" Herman said loudly, but without malice. "I have a nice man here to see you who is dying to talk to you. Why don't you turn around and say hello?"

 

Jack heard a low grunt from Daniel, and judging by the pleased expression on Herman's face, this was a good sign. Testing the waters, Jack decided to move closer, circling around the bed to stand by Herman's side.

 

Jack's face fell.

 

Daniel still held that desolate empty gaze.

 

To Jack's dismay, he was curled up into a ball, his vacant gaze staring right through him. Jack had a hard time accepting the nothingness in Daniel, having grown accustomed to his animation and vitality that managed to push into everything. Daniel was the type of person that said "hello" like it was the most precious word in the world.

 

And now here he was, just lying there. The only hint of the old Daniel happened to be his glasses that lay untouched on the nightstand by his bed.

 

"Daniel," Jack said softly, taking a step closer. He ignored the pain flaring through his back, his side, his head, focusing on getting through to the man. "It's Jack."

 

His voice seemed to have struck something in Daniel today, and Jack was surprised to find Daniel shift his head slightly to gaze at him. His eyes flickered for a moment with what Jack hoped was lucidity, only to be once again shut out by a veil of blackness that strangely reminded him of poison.

 

When he realized Daniel's gaze hadn't ventured off him, Jack pressed a bit further. He took another step, hesitant at first, but growing with more confidence as Daniel remained, waiting. Jack's confidence grew, and he felt hope for the first time in three days. Grinning, he walked towards Daniel's bed.

 

That's when he started to hyperventilate.

 

"Damn," he swore, quickly stumbling back, away from Daniel.

 

Herman was there in an instant, calming down the panicking man. Jack could only watch helplessly as some stranger brought Daniel to a sitting position, and wrapped his arms around him, giving him comfort like he was child. Daniel shook and glared at Jack like he was a Commie, before digging his head into Herman's neck.

 

Now that was really starting to piss him off.

 

He'd already lost Carter and had no way to contact Teal'c. He wasn't about to lose Daniel, too.

 

Muttering under his breath, Jack searched through one of his pockets, determined to make amends and find a way out of this nightmare.  All the while, he kept his eyes on Daniel and Herman, growing more angry and frustrated as every minute passed.

 

It wasn't supposed to be this way.

 

"Hey," he said, withdrawing a small object from his pocket. He rolled it over in his hands, forcing a gentle smile Daniel's way. "I got something for you."

 

Jack extended his hand, careful not to impose himself onto Daniel. He could tell that under his timid and frightened exterior, Daniel was curious and wanted nothing more than to explore and investigate the object that Jack was waving in front of him. Tantalizing and new, it waited for Daniel. Jack waited for Daniel.

 

Finally, the curiosity won over the fear, and Daniel pushed away from Herman, his focus divided between the item and Jack. Jack waved it again, teasing him, trying to free Daniel from himself.

 

"That's it," Herman said with encouragement. "Why don't you go see what it is?"

 

Daniel hesitated, glancing over once at Herman before sliding off the bed. On wobbly limbs, he started to walk to Jack, his right hand nervously stretching out towards the prize.

 

"This is great," Herman said brightly. "Daniel rarely has break out moments like this."

 

Jack felt proud, despite himself, while continuing to dangle the object in front of Daniel. "Come here," he told him. "And I'll show you how to use it."

 

Daniel stopped two feet away from Jack when the terror returned to his eyes. Jack put on his best face and tried his best to show that he was perfectly okay with things, but deep down he figured that Daniel could see through him, see into him.

 

That was a creepy thought.

 

"All right," Jack said, turning over the toy in his hands. He'd bought the stupid thing at the local junk shop, but he still felt that it was something Daniel could appreciate. "Look, watch."

 

Jack held up the pyramid, allowing the light to catch some of the shiny gold paint on its surface. As he turned it, the pyramid almost seemed to come alive, and glow from deep inside, as if it were the Great Pyramid itself. Smiling, he knew that Daniel was completely captivated and had quickly closed the distance between them, his eager hands ready and waiting to accept the toy. But Jack wasn't finished. Not yet.

 

He held up his finger, and reached over to push a button in the front.

 

With a click, a small little mummy popped out of the pyramid, standing straight up in front of the side of the toy. It was connected to the inside and it could easily be pushed back to start over again.

 

Daniel, who hadn't been expecting the surprise, jumped back about a foot or so, his eyes wide as he stared at the toy. For a minute there, Jack was afraid that Daniel was going to have a fit and break down again.  Instead, his reaction took Jack by surprise.

 

He made a loud noise, something that sounded like a cross between a moan and a wheeze. Whatever it was, Herman seemed unbelievably pleased and encouraged Jack to do it again.

 

Jack complied. He slid the mummy back inside, much to Daniel's disappointment, before pressing the button again.

 

This time, Daniel didn't jump, but began to fidget in his spot, making weird noises again. This moany-wheeze came out sounding something like "hee" without the "haw," but drawn out and low pitched. He sounded like a friggin' donkey.

 

Jack did it again, listening to the sound erupt from Daniel. The other man was quickly becoming agitated though, shifting his weight, licking his lips, his fingers twitching as he waited.

 

Jack knew that look. That was Daniel waiting for coffee or just itching to touch a new artifact.

 

Looking for some kind of guidance, he focused his attention on Herman, while continuing to make the mummy appear and disappear. "Going to give me a clue?"

 

Herman chuckled. "That's a laugh. He's having fun. I'm really impressed."

 

"That's a laugh?" Jack asked incredulously. The mummy revealed itself, causing Daniel to "laugh" again. "Damn."

 

"I know, it takes a little getting used to," Herman said with a smile. "But you're doing great. Move in a little closer and see if he'll let you show him how to work it."

 

Taking a step forward, Jack brought the toy out close to Daniel. Suspicion began to fill Daniel's eyes, but Jack kept to his task. He slid the mummy back in, and brought his finger into position, waiting.

 

"Okay, watch," he told Daniel. "I press this and the mummy comes out of it."

 

Jack went through the scenario five times with Daniel, each time receiving the same response. Though, Daniel had yet to try and take the initiative to do it himself.

 

"You press it," he said, trying to slip the toy into Daniel's hands.

 

Daniel's immediate reaction was to stiffen and back away, the fear coming back to take him. Feeling like someone punched him in the gut, Jack watched with sorrow as Daniel cowered back by Herman's side, digging his face in his neck.

 

"Daniel, you know better than that," Herman admonished lightly as he pushed him away. Forcing Daniel to sit straight, Herman positioned him to look at Jack. Then, he beckoned Jack with a wave of his hand. "He's going to give it you. You'd really like it, wouldn't you?"

 

Daniel gazed at them warily, but didn't nod or shake his head. He remained tense, though, watching Jack closely as he came to stand beside Herman.

 

"Now watch," Herman told him, holding the toy with Jack at the same time. Herman brought one of Daniel's fingers close to the button, making sure all three of them were touching the object at the same time. "Press down."

 

The instant that Daniel's finger touched the pyramid and the mummy came flying out, Daniel broke into another laugh. That was it. After that, Daniel seemed to relax.

 

Daniel easily accepted the toy from Jack after that, and amused himself by pressing the button over and over again. Herman had to remind him a few times to slide the mummy back into the pyramid to get it to work, but after just a couple of set backs, Daniel was good to go.

 

Over the next couple of hours, while Daniel entertained himself with his new toy, Jack and Herman had a nice chat. They discussed the Colorado Rockies, but Jack's heart lay with the Twins and the Cubs; nothing Herman said could change his mind. And they hadn't even talked about hockey at that point.

 

By the end of their time together, Jack had learned a great deal. Apparently, Herman knew all about what happened the other day, and he also thought that MacKenzie could be an ass. Herman strongly felt that Daniel should get as many visitors as he could, especially people that he knew back in "his old life." So, knowing who Jack was, Herman thought it was appropriate to let Jack do this thing.

 

"Just remember," Herman told him as Jack gathered his jacket and prepared to leave. "Mac comes here every other day around three in the afternoon. Get here well before then, and you shouldn't have a problem."

 

Committing the time to memory, Jack nodded. Avoiding confrontation with MacKenzie was a good thing right now, especially since he seemed to have ties with Schneider.

 

"Anything else I should know?"

 

Herman leaned against the doorframe, his gaze shifting to Daniel every few seconds. "He doesn't get very many visitors, but Colonel Carter comes nearly everyday, usually in the early morning."

 

Good intel to know, Jack thought to himself. As he gazed at Daniel, watching the man's fascination never cease over the new toy, Jack felt that maybe it would be a good idea for Carter not to know he was popping by everyday. She would probably figure it out eventually, but with the tension between them, later would be better than sooner. He just hoped that the nurses and doctors didn't say too much and that Carter didn't check the visitors' roster too often.

 

"Well, Daniel, time for me to go," Jack said quietly. Daniel didn't answer him, or even look over at him, but Jack wasn't expecting much from him anyway. With a sigh, Jack headed to the door and patted Herman on the shoulder.

 

"Daniel," Herman said gently. "Do you want to say goodbye to your friend?"

 

Daniel didn't turn around, but Jack heard him snort, then laugh as the little mummy popped out of the pyramid again. Herman sighed and gazed sympathetically at Jack, clasping him on the shoulder.

 

"That's actually pretty good for him. You caught him on a good day. Don't get down over it. He says goodbye in the only way he can."

 

Jack nodded a thanks, and took once last look at Daniel before he left.

 

 

Chapter 6

 

 

The first thing Jack sensed the next morning when he awoke was the aroma of dirt, grass, and blood.

 

Confused, Jack checked his body and glanced around the room, but found nothing. As the sleep left him, and he became more aware, he shook off the stench, realizing it was nothing but remnants from a lingering dream. But…he was chilly.

 

Shivering, Jack huddled under his sheets and his blanket, feeling a cold sweat forming on his brow. Was he coming down with something? Was he sick?

 

If he was sick, then maybe the past few days had been just a fever dream.

 

But when Jack stumbled into the bathroom, and saw his reflection staring back at him, he was crushed. This was no dream, he was beginning to realize.

 

He didn't want to lose all hope just yet. He still wanted to explore every avenue possible, and see if maybe, soon, he could rebuild things with Carter so they could start making sense of it. Then, he'd be able to ask more about Teal'c. Maybe even Daniel would come around at some point.

 

There was no way he could just forget ten years of his life.

 

Resolved to keep working at uncovering the truth, Jack went about his new morning routine. He would shower, trying to rid himself of the grime and stink he woke up with every morning, and then he would shave. He would dress next, grabbing whatever clothes were hanging around so he could be presentable. After some breakfast that either never seemed to satisfy him, or left him ill, he would turn on CNN and watch the news. By the time he received his fill of the junk on TV, then he would lock up his house and head out to see Daniel.

 

"Hey, Daniel," Jack said, entering the room.

 

Today, Daniel was on his bed, lying on his back as he stared at the ceiling. He didn't stir, not even when Jack called him again. Sighing, he let Herman do his job.

 

"Daniel, up and at 'em!" Herman called, tapping Daniel on the shoulder. "Let's go. Your friend Jack is here to see you."

 

Moaning softly, Daniel lazily turned his head to the side, staring right through Jack again. With the shock factor gone, he was beginning to find that gesture more annoying than sad.

 

"Get up, Daniel," Jack ordered, standing near the bed.

 

Daniel snorted at him, his eyes narrowing. Surprised, but also encouraged, Jack stared him down. Something told Jack that maybe Daniel wasn't quite as stupid as everyone made him out to be.

 

"Looks like you caught him in a bad mood today," Herman said, his tone almost apologetic. "He can get like that."

 

"Don't I know it," Jack grumbled.

 

Herman clapped his hands, causing Daniel to jerk. "Let's get up and have some fun."

 

Daniel's reply? He snorted again and turned over, showing them his backside. Jack shook his head. Some things would never change and he guessed Daniel's stubbornness just wasn't going to go away any time soon.

 

"See?" Herman sighed. "This just won't do."

 

Herman walked to the other side of the bed, and placed a hand on Daniel's shoulder. He kept talking to him, trying to get him to get off the bed, or at least turn around, but his words only caused Daniel to curl up even more. Finally, Jack heard a whisper, an actual spoken word by Daniel, though he couldn't make it out from where he was standing. Whatever Daniel said, it caused Herman to back away, shrugging his shoulders before he moved to meet Jack.

 

"Busy," Herman said. "He says he's busy."

 

"Busy," Jack repeated. "Out of all the words he knows in that big head of his, he has to say 'busy'?"

 

"Daniel doesn't talk very often, but when he does, we don't discourage him." Herman waved vaguely in Daniel's direction, not at all concerned that the man was wrapped in a tight ball. "While we don't like it when he withdraws like that, sometimes it's because he's trying to work out something mentally. He struggles a little bit when it comes to thinking, so when he actually voices something, we let him go. Most of the time," Herman clarified. "I think he might be trying to make sense of you and why you're here."

 

Which was all well and good for Jack, but having him curled up tighter than an armadillo wasn't.

 

"So, what are you trying to tell me?' Jack asked.

 

Herman looked uncomfortable, but smiled nonetheless. "Why not give him a day or two to come to terms with everything. Doctor MacKenzie will be here later, and I'd rather Daniel be in good form for when he gets here."

 

Ah. Jack got it. "Won't look good for you if Daniel's not at his best, right?"

 

Herman frowned. "Not at all. But I don't want MacKenzie talking to Daniel and then have Daniel inadvertently blame you for something. I think it's a good thing that you come by. I don't want that to change."

 

Jack nodded. The kid certainly had heart.

 

Glancing over at Daniel, Jack decided to listen to Herman. Jack wasn't feeling his best today, anyway. But there was something new that was disturbing Jack, something that was swelling deep inside him, something more than the flu or whatever he might have caught.

 

He looked at Daniel again before Herman shut the door.

 

He had the exact same scar as Jack.

 

The next two days had been torture. Not only did Jack feel like crap, he couldn't get Daniel's face out of his head.

 

Before he'd left, he was certain he had seen a scar running from Daniel's forehead to his left temple, in the same exact spot where Jack had his. That couldn't be just a coincidence. That wasn't even normal.

 

No, Jack was more certain now than ever that something fishy was happening. There was no way they could have both been whacked in the same exact spot. Had they been part of some off-world experiment? What had Jack been doing off-world in the first place?

 

Jack had called Carter again, trying to get in touch with her for some answers, and maybe for them to make things better over cake and pie. Of course, Pete had answered the phone and told him she was busy.

 

Funny thing is that Jack believed him. He didn't sound like he was lying which probably meant Carter was off-world on some mission or something. Or, she was stuck on base indefinitely.

 

So, Jack called the base. Again. And again. And again. He didn't have much luck, but he finally had gotten in touch with Siler.

 

Siler didn't tell him much. Nothing in fact.

 

This made for a long two days.

 

Though, by the time it was done, Jack couldn't really tell anymore. It was almost as if time had no meaning, and could move as quickly or as slowly as it pleased. Like some higher power, or Goa'uld, was controlling time itself.

 

Plus, for a day there, he was sick as a dog and could barely remember anything. Add to that his wild fever dreams of running through forests, or lying near pools of vomit and blood, and he was about ready to call Schneider up for some happy pills. But by the third day of his separation from human contact, he was feeling a bit better and a lot steadier on his legs.

 

It was that day he figured he was ready to see Daniel again.

 

After a horrible start to his day, in the name of a flat tire, Jack finally made it to the facility. Part of him was nervous that Daniel might have forgotten him, though Jack couldn't confirm he'd ever missed him in the first place.

 

When he finally got there, he met a guy named Thomas. Herman had the day off, and had asked for Thomas to meet Jack. Now, Thomas was a bit of a different guy. He was shy, and very quiet, but still big. Jack was starting to form the impression that it was no coincidence that Daniel had body builders looking after him. He might be frail, and if they were really ten years into the future, then he'd be pushing fifty by now, but Jack guessed there was still a little bit of strength and spunk left in the good Doctor Jackson.

 

When Jack reached the room, there he found Daniel, lying in bed again. Only this time he wasn't pouting or feeling anti-social. Today, he seemed content in clacking his tongue and swinging his feet back and forth as he stared at the ceiling. It was…odd.

 

"Good to see that you're as weird as ever," Jack said, hoping Daniel didn't take the sarcasm the wrong way.

 

Daniel turned his head at the sound of Jack's voice, but didn't say anything to him. After studying him closely for a minute, Daniel rubbed his forehead and pointed to Jack.

 

That was the first time Jack had seen anything that resembled an attempt to communicate. "What?" he asked.

 

Daniel repeated the gesture.

 

"He's asking if you're feeling better," Thomas said softly.

 

For the third time, Daniel rubbed his head and pointed to Jack. How did Daniel know he was sick? Was he aware enough to see it? Or had Jack looked that bad?

 

"How'd you know?" Jack demanded more than asked.

 

Daniel went through the gesture again, only this time he kept his hand extended to Jack. Blinking at him, Jack knew an open invitation when he saw one. Cautiously, he stepped forward, allowing Daniel as much space as he needed, careful not to overstep the other man's boundaries.

 

But Daniel didn't flinch.  He waited for Jack expectantly, his hand unwavering as it reached out to him. Pressing a little further, Jack stepped closer and finally eased himself onto the bed, sitting at the edge and looking down at Daniel.

 

Daniel didn't smile or frown. He moved his hand down, gently touching Jack's left temple and pressing gingerly on the scar.

 

"Yeah, I have a scar," Jack said, his voice a mere whisper. Daniel had finally reached out to him. Could things be mending between them? "But it's okay. I feel okay."

 

And surprisingly, he did.

 

"Daniel, the scar—"

 

Daniel suddenly turned away from him, fumbling at his nightstand and nearly knocking over his glasses. When he turned back to Jack, he held up his little pyramid proudly, twirling it around in the air.

 

"That is nice," Thomas said from behind them. "That's the nice present you got the other day."

 

Daniel sighed, sadly looking down at the pyramid. Then, after a moment of gazing at it longingly, he handed it back to Jack.

 

Surprised, Jack shook his head. "No, it's yours. You get to keep it."

 

No answer. Of course not. Daniel tried again.

 

"No," Jack said. Without thinking, he grabbed Daniel's hand and wrapped it tightly around the toy and brought it to his chest. "It's yours."

 

It was only after he had touched Daniel that Jack realized what he had done. Stiffening, he attempted to withdraw before Daniel started yelping and screaming again. But Daniel actually stopped him, holding his hand in place, and gazed at him in silence.

 

There was an understanding between them, some thing that wasn't there just a few days ago. It gave Jack hope.

 

Jack squeezed Daniel's hand in return. He might not be the same Daniel but at least…

 

He lost himself mid-thought when he felt Daniel's fingers press into the toy. Instantly, the mummy popped out, and Daniel laughed in his weird little way, filling the room with his noise. Looking content and utterly amused with himself, Daniel sighed, and even grinned, gazing up at Jack with bright eyes.

 

Smiling back, Jack thought maybe this wasn't a bad day after all.

 

Over the course of the next few visits, Daniel and Jack had fallen in to a rhythm. Jack would come over to the facility and Herman or Thomas would escort Jack to see Daniel. Sometimes Daniel would have good days, and interact with Jack on a limited basis, other days Daniel would be entirely closed off from everyone and Jack would just sit with him, either watching TV or reading the newspaper or even just talking to Daniel. He knew that Daniel couldn't have a normal conversation with him, but sometimes, when Jack was certain his imagination was getting the better of him, he thought Daniel just might be listening.

 

That was the case on the tenth day.

 

"I was thinking, isn't it funny that we have similar scars?" Jack asked him, pointing to his head. "I got one on my left temple and so do you."

 

Daniel stared at him blankly.

 

"I mean it," Jack said. The two of them were sitting on Daniel's bed, rolling a ball between them. "A little more than a coincidence."

 

Daniel grunted, pushing the ball back towards him. When the ball stalled halfway, getting tangled in the covers, Jack grabbed it and rolled it back.

 

"You can grunt all you want, but it's important somehow. An experiment? A lab accident?" Daniel grunted again. "Hey, none of that attitude," Jack scolded him. "This is usually your department, remember?"

 

He thought he saw Daniel smile.

 

"Oh, you think it's funny?" Jack asked, but without any anger. He grabbed the ball as it returned to him, pleased that Daniel's smile was only intensifying. Holding it for a moment, he tossed it in the air and caught it. "Making me do all the thinking is hurting my brain."

 

Wrong thing to say, Jack thought, watching Daniel's expression change.

 

He looked absolutely crestfallen. Hanging his head down in shame, Daniel pushed away from Jack, and turned his back to him, bringing his knees to his chest. Jack recognized this as Daniel's way of protecting himself, having seen him curl in on himself numerous times now since this whole "thing" had started.

 

"Daniel, look, I'm sorry."

 

But for Daniel, that was the end of the conversation, leaving Jack to ponder for the rest of the day just what really was going through Daniel's mind.

 

He had started to remember bits and pieces, stragglers here and there, as if something was pushing his memories to the forefront but suppressing them at the same time. This tension wasn't something that Jack found comforting, and in fact, he felt a little uneasy and unnerved by the whole thing.

 

"I remember a place," Jack told Daniel. "It's cold and dark, like a lab. Was it a lab?"

 

Daniel didn't reply to him, still engrossed in his chess game. Thirty minutes ago, Jack had walked into his room, ready for a visit, surprised to find Daniel sitting crossed legged on his bed, huddled over a chessboard. At first, Jack was jubilant—okay, a bit of a strong word—but happy nonetheless, hoping this was a sign Daniel might be improving, completely ignoring the fact he'd been this way for ten years. But when he had noticed the chess pieces were all mixed together, and on the wrong squares…

 

Daniel didn't know what he was doing. He was just going through the motions.

 

So Jack had decided to just sit with him. No harm in that.

 

Jack had eased himself onto the bed, giving some comfort to his aching knees and back, and had watched Daniel "play." After awhile, Jack had started to drift into a light doze, and that is when the memories had started to tug at him.

 

"I think it was a lab," he said again, still eliciting no response from Daniel. "Or maybe it was a theater. A mess hall?"

 

Jack walked down the small aisle, wrinkling his nose when he sniffed at the sulfuric smell in the air. The place was dark and cold, with only the glow from the lamps covering the vials keeping the room alight.

 

Hell, did he just see vials?

 

Frowning, and extremely displeased with his current arrangements, Jack stopped, carefully glancing over one of the small blue vials. "Olin…what the hell are these?"

 

Olin, the sly little bastard, stopped and turned to face Jack. "Did we not discuss our ways, O'Neill? Did we not tell you all questions would be answered by the High Lofar?"

 

"Well, so far I haven't seen hide nor hair of Loafer, so I'm getting a little testy."

 

Olin just smiled vaguely at him. "I am taking you to High Lofar now. All will be well soon."

 

Yeah, how many times had he heard that one?

 

"You know that I am not worthy to speak to you in such a way. Only you and the High can make the exchange."

 

Which is precisely why he needed Carter here. Now.

 

From what Daniel had told him, Olin was Carter's "counterpart," whatever the hell that was supposed to mean, in this screwed up society, which meant Jack was out of the loop with anything concerning the labs and the planet's technology.

 

So, why Olin was taking Jack on a guided tour of…this place was beyond him.

 

It conflicted with everything Daniel had told him.

 

What was it exactly Daniel had said about these people?

 

"What did you tell me?" Jack asked him.

 

Not at all surprised that Daniel remained silent, Jack sighed and tapped at the closest chess piece. The king.

 

The motion caught Daniel's eye, and the other man stopped fiddling with his pieces, keenly watching Jack's every move. Just to test him, Jack pushed at the base of the piece with his finger, sliding it ever so slowly towards another square. Inwardly, he chuckled, sadly amused by Daniel and his full concentration on the piece.

 

There was a time when Daniel whipped his butt at this game.

 

But even more importantly, in the here and now, Daniel was aware of Jack, aware of the game, and aware of his room.  Jack was finding it hard to accept that these so called doctors and nurses had found Daniel to be anti-social and withdrawn.

 

"Hmm," Jack said, wriggling the piece back and forth. "What do you think would happen if…" He charged the piece across the board and struck a lone rook that was just asking for it. "Ha, score one for me."

 

Daniel blinked, looking absolutely horrified over what Jack had done. For an instant, Jack was convinced Daniel was going to wail on him again. But instead, much to Jack's surprise, Daniel laughed, making that horrible wheezing-moan sound. In fact, he was so excited, that he brought his hands to his chest, his fingers spasming as he tried to control himself.

 

Jack allowed himself silence as he watched Daniel's reaction. Part of him started to wonder if Daniel wasn't as bad off as the doctors liked him to believe. Maybe all Daniel ever needed was some real companionship.

 

"You liked that?" Jack asked him. Armed with a small smile, Jack moved the king to jump his next victim. This time he was focused on the bishop. With a whoop of triumph, Jack used the king to smack the piece aside.

 

Daniel jumped at the noise, and nearly bounced in place, so frenzied over the action. Yet this time, instead of sitting and laughing, Daniel brought one of his shaking hands to the chessboard. That is where he waged a full assault on the mixed collective of pawns on Jack's side, using his knight to lay waste to the game.

 

Jack decided he liked Daniel's thinking.

 

Within seconds, the two of them totally trashed the chess game, sending pieces flying all over Daniel's room. In the end, only two pieces remained, Jack's unopposed king and Daniel's valiant knight.

 

"Well, might as well go for the gold," Jack said with a crooked grin. When he went to swipe the last two pieces off with the back of his hand, Daniel grabbed him, stopping him in his tracks.

 

"What?" Jack asked.

 

Daniel let go of his hand, and gently pushed the knight to stand by the king's side. When Jack raised his eyebrow, Daniel gazed at him, almost as if he were pleading with him.

 

"Leave them?" Jack scratched his head. He supposed Daniel was going to have some weird quirks. "Knight protects the king?"

 

Daniel snorted, a sign Jack took as a yes.

 

"Okay." Jack shrugged. "Knight protects the king. Even if it defies the rules of the game. Though, I guess that doesn't matter," he mumbled, looking at the disaster that was Daniel's room. He would be in so much trouble if he didn't clean this up. After taking a moment to pick up the pieces, and leave the hallowed king and knight behind, he arched his eyebrow again and said to Daniel, "Ready to play again?"

 

Though Daniel didn't speak, Jack could read the answer in his eyes.

 

Grinning, Jack set the pieces on the board and began his first attack.

 

Chapter 7

 

On the thirteenth day, Jack remembered the planet.

 

The wormhole disengaged, the Stargate making a hiss-snap-shut sound behind him. Standing on the small pedestal that housed the Gate, Jack took a moment to study his surroundings.

 

Ah, trees, he thought, smiling. How he'd missed trees.

 

The planet looked like any other planet that he remembered. Trees, bushes, grass, mud, dirt…that spoke for about ninety percent of the worlds that the SGC explored. Though, according to Carter, this planet had three moons, something that supposedly was a lovely sight to watch just before dawn.

 

How he missed going off world just so that he could remind Carter not to be nature hiking at the wee hours of the morning.

 

Breaking out of his thoughts, Jack stepped down the platform and walked to the greeting party that was awaiting him in the near distance. Teal'c stood vigilant, his hands clasped behind his back, but the big guy had a smile on his face that was at least a mile wide. It contrasted sharply with how Jack remembered Teal'c in the old days, and even more so against the timid and fearful men that were standing next to him.

 

"Teal'c?" Jack met them and forced a diplomatic smile. "Friends of yours?"

 

"O'Neill, this is Tar Val," Teal'c informed him, motioning with a slight turn of his head to the old, somewhat wrinkly, man that stood to his right. Then, with a gentle turn to his left, he tipped his head to another man, a younger man with bright red hair. Bright, bright red hair. "And this is Olin San."

 

"Pleasure," Jack said flatly. He adjusted his P-90, taking a quick scope of his surroundings once again. "Jack O'Neill."

 

"We have heard much about you, O'Neill," Tar Val said energetically. "It is honorable of you to come all the way from your kingdom to meet with us personally."

 

"Yeah, well, I do what I do." Jack really didn't have time for pleasantries; he'd rather just get down to business. "So, where's this lab that Carter and Daniel are so sweet on, anyway?"

 

Jack put down his playing cards, his mind wrapping itself around the latest flashback that had assailed him. He wasn't sure what to make of it, or why he was beginning to have flashbacks to that one fateful mission. Why not something else? Why now?

 

He could have sworn that Schneider told him that he'd start remembering once he started taking his medication. Jack wasn't on medication. So was she lying?

 

Frowning, Jack started to feel uneasy. What if something more sinister was happening?

 

"Daniel," Jack said sternly. He looked across the table to his silent companion. "You've got to tell me what's going on, somehow."

 

Not surprisingly, Daniel didn't respond. He was having a particularly bad day and hadn't made a move to acknowledge Jack at all. After several attempts to rouse him, Jack had admitted defeat, but had refused to leave. Instead, he'd pulled out a pack of cards and had started to play solitaire. He'd been going at it for quite some time when the flashbacks had begun.

 

"You can join in at any time," Jack said, gazing at Daniel. "Any time now."

 

Daniel didn't even grunt. He continued to stare at the table and the cards that were laid out in front of him. Jack had to admit that the other man had him a bit concerned, but when he'd called for Herman to come and check on him, the aide had told Jack that sometimes Daniel got this way. Only, Jack had never seen it get this bad.

 

Sighing, completely frustrated by his situation, Jack leaned back in his seat and scanned the room. For once, he wished the walls could talk, and offer him some clue to Daniel's condition, his condition, and what happened to all of their lives.

 

Ten years, dammit.

 

Jack was about to make a comment about his lapse in memory when a book lying on Daniel's bed caught his attention. With a frown, Jack eyed it closely, wondering when the book had gotten there. He didn't recall it being there when he'd walked in the room earlier today, and Daniel certainly hadn't taken it off the shelf. Curious, Jack rose to his feet and picked up the book.

 

"Huh," he said aloud, opening the cover. The book was a collection of archaeological essays. Boring. Something about old Roman battlefields and the castles of Old England and Brittany. Closing the cover, he gestured to Daniel with the book. "Next you're going to tell me that you're into Arthurian legends, right?"

 

Daniel's blank gaze on the table never wavered.

 

Normally, that's when Daniel would jump in with a comment or two, just to tick Jack off, or to show him that his mind was as sharp as ever. Daniel was the one that kept Jack on his toes. Now…

 

Jack placed the book on the table, allowing it to thump on the surface and scatter the cards. Daniel didn't even flinch.

 

Carefully, as not to startle him—since that obviously didn't work—Jack laid his hand on Daniel's shoulder and shook him once. In response, Daniel blinked sleepily, slowly moving his head so that he could look at Jack. That gaze was hazy and empty.

 

"Dammit, Daniel," Jack said under his breath, squeezing his shoulder. He hated to see him this way. Why the hell did this have to happen? Shaking his head, he grabbed the book and reshelved it, before coming back to Daniel's side. "Can you talk? Grunt? Anything?"

 

Daniel's head drooped.

 

Not a good sign.

 

Jack stepped away, swallowing hard, as he tried to think straight. His mind seemed foggy these days, and he couldn't seem to keep focused on any one thing for long.

 

He had not forgotten ten years of his life. He was not a psycho. He…

 

"Oh, Daniel?" Jack asked, mildly annoyed as he came to a stop outside of a…what was that?

 

"Yes, Jack."

 

"Whatcha doing?"

 

Daniel arched his eyebrows, those all knowing eyes of his peering at him from beneath his glasses. Then, he glanced back, running his hand down the long smooth surface of the wall before turning back to Jack, his face full of confusion and interest. Jack just sent him a smug smile in return, knowing full well they were playing the game they always played.

 

"My job," he replied, a hint of arrogance in his voice.

 

Of course, Jack thought, suddenly feeling a chill over the cool freakish feel in this Frankenstein place.

 

"And, what would that entail?" When Daniel just glared at him, Jack moved to say some other sarcastic comment, but stopped when he found something sparkle in Daniel's hand. "Hey, what do you got there?"

 

"Oh, you mean this?"

 

Daniel held up the object, allowing for light from one of the multicolored lamps to catch its metallic lining. The object was thin, and long, and reminded Jack something else, something he couldn't quite put his finger on…

 

"Just a medical device. It's called a 'hemmir'…"

 

As reality snapped back into focus, Jack stumbled, nearly tripping over his feet. He found himself grabbing onto Daniel's bed for support, chasing away the black dots from his vision, and willing himself to remain focused. He had to remain focused.

 

Watching as Daniel drooped a little more, Jack turned and moved toward the phone. If there was something wrong with Daniel, there was no way he was going to sit back and watch this time. Dialing for the nurse, he waited.

 

Cursing, he shifted his weight and glared at his watch. What was taking so long?

 

He would ask again. "What's taking so long?"

 

"It will not be much longer," the pudgy little man that uncomfortably reminded him of Harlan said, as he stood outside the High's chambers. "My priests are cleansing the room for the exchange."

 

Which sounded suspiciously like some sort of ritual, Jack thought with a frown.

 

He glanced down at his watch. "Does your leader always take this long with meeting his guests?"

 

The man smiled nervously. "Our High has the task of protecting us from those that would destroy us." He cocked his head, slipping his hands into his robes. "Do you not do the same?"

 

Jack remained impassive. "I thought only the High and I were allowed to discuss things?"

 

The small man nodded quickly, his cheeks flushing red. "Of course. Forgive me for the intrusion."

 

Jack titled his head as he regarded the man, chewing on the inside of his lip. "You're…forgiven."

 

The little bugger actually looked relieved. "Thank you. You are most kind. Oh!" he said suddenly, leaning to his side to gaze around Jack. "Here come your subjects."

 

Jack clutched the phone harder, feeling himself sway. Pushing onto the wall for support, he dialed the number again, fighting hard against the flashbacks.

 

Jack followed the man's gaze, watching as Daniel, Carter, and Teal'c rounded the stone staircase of the castle. He couldn't help but notice that Carter looked annoyed, Daniel appeared distracted, and Teal'c looked…like Teal'c.

 

"Having fun?" he threw at them, resting his arm on his P-90.

 

"Indeed," Teal'c answered, but looked anything but happy. "We have spent the greater part of this afternoon viewing old draped materials."

 

Inwardly, Jack cringed. Carter gave him a nod of confirmation.

 

"So, while I've been standing here waiting for…" Jack had to pause to remember the guy's name. "Bec…Lofar, you've been looking at…"

 

"Tapestries," Daniel answered. "And ceremonial flags."

 

"And this is important how?" Jack asked, still musing over the stupid names these people picked for themselves.

 

"You can learn a lot about a society through their material culture," Daniel replied indignantly. "Not everything in life can be understood through words alone."

 

Daniel and his need for communication on all levels…Ignoring the little man behind him, he continued. "And did you learn anything?"

 

"They like bright colors," Carter answered, biting her lip to keep from laughing.

 

Jack did not miss the look of betrayal that Daniel sent her. Not like that would stop Daniel anyway.

 

"Well, actually, Tar Val and I had some interesting discussions on life here and the society as a whole," Daniel said excitedly. "Apparently…"

 

"High Lofar is ready for you now," the little man announced timidly, almost as if he were afraid to interrupt them. "You may enter."

 

"Hold that thought," Jack told Daniel, straightening his back and snapping out the kinks. After he took in a deep breath, Jack motioned to the small man. "Lead the way."

 

"Please move, sir."

 

Jack blinked, dropping the phone as a handful of doctors entered the room. They brushed right by him, and immediately started working on Daniel, bringing out all kinds of equipment that he'd always avoided in the infirmary. After a few minutes, they conferred with each other, shutting down Jack and his every request, and…

 

Jack frowned, his annoyance and discomfort taking a new turn of dread. They'd wheeled in a gurney.

 

Something was wrong with Daniel.

 

"Hey, someone tell me what's going on," Jack demanded.

 

A doctor he didn't recognize approached him, nudging him towards the door. "I'm afraid you'll have to leave," she said sternly. "We're going to be transporting him to the hospital."

 

He couldn't believe his ears. "What's wrong with him? What happened?"

 

"Sir, we need to treat him. Information will be released soon." Her gaze was hard. "Now, I'm going to have to ask you to leave."

 

Before Jack even knew it, he was being pushed into the corridor. All the events blurred like a whirlwind in his mind, leaving him stunned and confused. Soon, they were gone, Daniel was gone, and he was alone again. Feeling hollow, Jack stared into the vacancy of Daniel's room.

 

Two days. Two days he struggled to make any headway with the clods over at the USAF hospital and he kept getting nowhere.

 

Apparently, he didn't have enough clearance to go and see Daniel. Which was a bunch of bull. Jack knew that even if he'd retired from the military, he still had certain allowances and hell, Daniel had worked for him. He seriously doubted a man that couldn't speak and spent his days staring at things was a huge security risk. Besides, if Daniel were this severely hurt he would have been cut out of the Stargate Program ten years ago, which meant he had no new information to share anyway.

 

Something was wrong. Something was off and there was no fooling Jack this time. He could smell a skunk a mile away.

 

"I said my name is Jack O'Neill. General Jack O'Neill," he stressed, leaning over the counter, practically in the nurse's lap. "I've come to see Daniel Jackson."

 

She typed at her keyboard nervously, flashing him a plastic smile every now and again. "I'm-I'm sorry, sir, but you're not allowed—"

 

"Look, I don't really care if I am allowed or not." His voice dropped and he wiped any trace of warmth from his face. "Take me to see Daniel Jackson now."

 

She blinked, her breath short as she looked around the room. "Sir, I-I can't—"

 

Jack practically growled at her. "I said—"

 

"O'Neill."

 

Jack froze, unable to keep himself from whipping around to the man behind him. Teal'c was just as he'd remembered him, tall, sturdy, and unmovable. He was as massive as ever, standing like a stone pillar, his hands clasped behind his back. He waited patiently while Jack continued to gawk at him.

 

"Teal'c?"

 

That was the best Jack could come up with at this point.

 

"It is good to see you well, O'Neill," Teal'c said evenly, though Jack thought maybe he heard a bit of mirth in his tone somewhere.

 

"Good to see you too, T," Jack replied, hoping he wasn't dreaming. This was the best thing that had happened to him yet. "Really good."

 

Teal'c seemed to appreciate the remark, arching his eyebrow. He then turned to the receptionist. "There will be no need to call secured forces. This man is with me."

 

She hesitated, her gaze shifting quickly to the computer screen and then back to Teal'c. "You're here to see Mr. Jackson?"

 

"Indeed I am. You will find the relevant information in your computer systems." He glanced at O'Neill. "We will wait if need be."

 

She nodded, keying in a few entries before nodding. With a sigh, she cocked her head, shooting Jack a disapproving glare before smiling at Teal'c. "You know where to go?"

 

"Yes."

 

"Okay." She shook her head, sending Jack one last icy look, and returned to her work. Teal'c bowed ever so slightly and began a slow stroll down the corridor.

 

"Will you be accompanying me, O'Neill?" Teal'c asked loudly, remaining on his path and never looking back.

 

Jack moved quickly to catch him. "Thanks. These idiots just can't get anything right."

 

Teal'c was silent for a moment, keeping his vision directed in front of him. Jack thought he almost looked reflective, even sad, as he kept his chin high, and his hands clasped behind his suit. Finally, he spoke.

 

"Did you expect that everyone would welcome you so kindly after ten years?" Teal'c asked.

 

Okay…Jack should have figured Teal'c would have gotten right to the point. Then again, since everyone was acting so weird and he'd been fed nothing but a pack of lies since he woke up into this bizarre reality, Teal'c's normalness was throwing him for a loop.

 

Teal'c normal? Now he was sure the Goa'uld were messing with his head.

 

Jack chewed on the inside of lip, trying to think of something to say to him. How could Jack even respond to that? He didn't remember anything. But something told Jack to go with his gut on this one, and to trust Teal'c. Be truthful. He owed him that much.

 

"I don't remember," he said plainly. "I don't remember a damn thing, Teal'c."

 

Teal'c stole a glance in his direction, nodding, and returned to his slow straightforward walk. "Colonel Carter informed me of your condition," Teal'c said, choosing his words carefully. "Is this true?"

 

"Of course it is, Teal'c," Jack said, trying not to sound too offended. "I woke up a little over two weeks ago and everything was different. Nothing was the way it was supposed to be."

 

"Have you considered these memory lapses could be from missing your medicines?"

 

Jack stopped, glaring hard at Teal'c. "I took the damn pills one night and they made me sleepy. You think I am going to take something when I don't even know what they're for in the first place just so I can get doped up again?" He rubbed his face and then held his neck in frustration. "No, I don't think so."

 

"They are for your condition," he said simply. Teal'c moved back down the hall.

 

"I don't have a condition," Jack snapped, once again rushing to catch up to him. "I went to bed fine and I woke up like this."

 

"I see."

 

Jack narrowed his eyes. "Don't you get condescending with me, Teal'c. I know this is not right."

 

"And how can you know this?" Teal'c asked him, his tone firm but warm. "How can you be certain what you see is what it is?"

 

That was enough for Jack to stop again. "What?"

 

Teal'c started walking again. "Your injury has given you great difficulty in determining reality from fantasy, O'Neill. This, you know. How can you be certain that you were fine one day and not the next, as you say you were? Perhaps you have been deluding yourself all these years."

 

Jack could not believe what Teal'c was telling him. He should be the one taking the crazy pills, not Jack. "Teal'c, it's not like I've made a fantasy of my life for the past ten years. According to everyone, I've lost ten years. If I was going to make up some twisted fantasy, it sure as hell wouldn't be here." He paused. "I'd be on a beach somewhere, having fun or something."

 

This time it was Teal'c who stopped, placing a hand on Jack's shoulder. Teal'c was studying him, his eyes scanning his face, looking deep into his eyes.

 

It must be a Jaffa thing.

 

He frowned, withdrawing his hand and pressed the elevator button. "And you believe this?"

 

"I'm telling you if, and that's a big if, ten years have gone by then I don't remember a second of it."

 

The two of them stepped into the elevator. It began to ascend. "What is the last event in your memory?"

 

"His name is what?" Jack asked.

 

"Bec Lofar," Carter told him. The two of them were standing in the archway of one of the hallways in the main wing. "He's the people's equivalent to a king. Before you meet him, Daniel will run through the rules and customs for greeting him."

 

Jack rolled his eyes. He was so tired of rules and customs. But with Daniel's attention to detail, they shouldn't screw it up too much. Unless Jack forgot half of it.

 

"And I'm his counterpart? I'm not going to a marriage ceremony or something, am I?"

 

Carter fought back a smile while shifting her weight to her left leg. "That's why you're here, sir. He won't talk to anyone but you."

 

"I take it we're leaving out a few details here, like how I'm really not his equivalent," Jack said, watching Carter's cheeks turn pink. Of course, there was no way they'd be shipping the President out here anytime soon. His gaze fell to the two people talking in the next room, gazing over a dozen or so strange objects. "I take it we're using these same liberties with Daniel?"

 

Carter glanced over her shoulder, catching sight of Daniel and his counterpart pouring over the objects. She gave Jack a sheepish smile, gesturing vaguely to them. "They don't really understand what kind of doctor he is."

 

"I don't think he understands what kind of doctor he is." Though, he could say the same about Carter, too. "Medical supplies, I take it?"

 

"Yes, sir. Daniel's been conversing with both Eli Karn, the head doctor here in this town, and also Tar Val, who's the village historian." Jack must have looked puzzled because Carter filled in a few more details for him. "Tar Val was one of the men that greeted you upon your arrival," she reminded him.

 

"And Karn…would be him?" Jack asked, pointing to the tall man talking with Daniel.

 

"That's right, sir.

 

Jack sighed. This was the part of going off-world he didn't miss. Returning his attention to Daniel, he watched his movements, his expressions, and the rest of his body language. From the looks of it, he and the doctor seemed to really be lost in conversation, and Jack was about to wager that any moment Daniel would slip from being the doctor to the experiment.

 

And there went the hands…

 

"All right," he told Carter, starting to move into the room where Karn and Daniel were talking. "Time to see what the good people of Aria have for us."

 

As Jack finished recounting his latest flashback, he and Teal'c stepped out of the elevator and walked toward the room at the end of the hall. Teal'c appeared thoughtful, listening to Jack as he spoke, finally stopping to pause outside the room.

 

"And you are experiencing several of these flashbacks from the mission?" Teal'c asked him.

 

"Yeah."

 

"And nothing more?"

 

"Nadda, Teal'c. That's it," Jack answered. He rubbed his face, and leaned a little closer. "You got to admit that if I'd lost ten years, I'd have flashbacks other than just one trip, wouldn't you say?"

 

"Indeed," Teal'c agreed, a frown touching his lips. "Though, still you speak as if you doubt ten years have passed."

 

Jack glared at him. "I doubt a lot of things. I'm just telling you that something isn't right."

 

"Agreed." Teal'c stopped, waiting for a nurse to pass by them. When she was gone, he focused his attention solely on Jack. "I find it disturbing that these events are transpiring against you, O'Neill."

 

Jack stared. "Then, you believe me?"

 

Teal'c didn't give him a hint either way, but he could tell he'd at least tapped into something much deeper. "I believe events are not unfolding as they should. But I do know that years have passed in my life, and of this passing of time, I am certain." The comment brought Jack's spirits down, but at least he was getting somewhere. "I concur that there is something of value missing from your experiences."

 

Jack felt like shouting and shaking his fists in the air in triumph, but he felt restraint in a hospital might be best. He smiled to Teal'c, though, showing him his appreciation. Teal'c understood. He bowed slightly, guiding Jack to the door.

 

"Shall we see DanielJackson?"

 

*     *    *     *

 

Somehow, seeing Daniel lying there hooked up to a bunch of machinery didn't bother him. It almost made him feel like he was back on base, watching over one of his old teammates. Though, as much as Jack wished it were something that simple, and that at any time Daniel would sit up and demand an explanation as to what had occurred, Jack knew it just wasn't going to happen.

 

He…couldn't really have missed ten years of his life, could he? He knew who he was. He knew where he was in his life.

 

But even Jack could admit his insistence that the Goa'uld were involved, or that something was messing with his head, was starting to falter. The longer he remained trapped here, without any break, without any help, the more likely he realized this could really be happening. Maybe he was that sick. Maybe he'd been deluding himself all these years.

 

As Jack continued to gaze at Daniel's sleeping form, Teal'c came to stand beside him. He was silent, joining Jack in his quiet observations. It was only when the nurse came back into the room that any kind of conversation began.

 

"How is his health?" Teal'c asked the male nurse.

 

"He's stable," the nurse replied. "He was awake earlier, but drifted off about an hour ago." He glanced over Daniel's vitals, scribbled something on his chart, and then smiled at the two of them. "You can sit with him if you'd like, just don't disturb him and allow him to wake on his own."

 

Teal'c nodded, watching the nurse head for the exit. But Jack wasn't done. He stopped the man, beckoning him closer.

 

"What is it?" he asked, gesturing to Daniel's still form. "Brain hemorrhage? What?"

 

The nurse gazed at Jack sympathetically. "He had what's called a transient ischaemic attack." He paused, noting Teal'c's impassive face. "In layman's terms, it's—"

 

"I know what it is," Jack said, his voice biting, his thoughts drifting back to memories of his father, and also to Charlie's second birthday. "My old man had a bunch of mini strokes before he had the big one. How bad was it?"

 

"Luckily, not bad at all. We caught him just in time, and it was fairly mild." The nurse forced another smile. "Daniel hasn't shown any signs of further impairment. It doesn't look like he had any additional brain damage this time."

 

Jack stared. This time?

 

"Like I said, you can visit with him, but let him rest," the nurse told them, finally leaving the room. When he was gone, Jack muttered under his breath, glancing over at Daniel, and collapsed into the nearest chair.

 

"You do not look well, O'Neill," Teal'c said, his face flickering with concern.

 

"I think I'm fighting the flu or something," Jack admitted. "I thought I was over it but…" He shifted uncomfortably, rubbing at his right side. "Guess not. I get a lot of aches and pains."

 

"Perhaps you should go to your home for some rest," Teal'c suggested. "I will remain and watch over Daniel Jackson."

 

"No. No, that's okay," Jack said. He rubbed at his side once more and closed his eyes. If only he could shake this haze that kept washing over him. "I'll stay. You…"

 

"Look, Teal'c, why don't you hang around with Yolen a little longer, see if there's something we're missing here," Jack told Teal'c, careful to keep his voice low.

 

Teal'c leaned closer to him. "Do you suspect something of ill intent, O'Neill?"

 

"Maybe." He patted Teal'c's shoulder, smiling for show. "Just keep your eyes open."

 

"My eyes are always open, O'Neill."

 

Jack was about to comment, when a sly grin spread across Teal'c's face. Damn him. Then, Teal'c bowed his head, and slipped down the staircase. That left Jack, Carter, and Daniel to go ahead into the chamber to meet with Aria's king.

 

"Are you ready now?" the man asked them, sounding a little impatient.

 

Jack glanced over at Daniel and Carter, giving them a nod of consent, before he turned back to the little Harlan-type man. "We're all set now. Wouldn't want to offend the old guy, would we?"

 

The man frowned and for a second Jack was positive the man thought he was crazy. But the frown quickly passed, and he beckoned them closer. "The High awaits."

 

"O'Neill?"

 

"Yeah." Jack forced his eyes open, despite the haziness. Just how many flashbacks was he going to get?

 

"Another flashback?"

 

Jack nodded, touched by the concern in Teal'c's voice.  "They come and go. Never know when I'm going to get them."

 

"Perhaps you should rest."

 

"No, I need to stay here." He didn't know why he felt compelled to stay. Maybe it was due to years of guilt hanging over his head. "I want to stay."

 

"Very well."

 

So that was it. Jack remained quiet, sitting in his chair, passing in and out of sleep, but this time without incident. Teal'c remained standing by Daniel's side, quiet, watchful, and focused.

 

The silence was driving Jack insane.

 

"What happened Teal'c?"

 

He cocked his head, his face calm, as he studied Jack carefully. "Do you not believe you should remember on your own accord?"

 

"Nope."

 

Teal'c did the Jaffa equivalent of a sigh, and pivoted his body to face Jack. "As you know, the mission to P3X-329 did not go well."

 

"So I've heard."

 

Teal'c tipped his head in acknowledgment before he continued. "The people of Aria were deceivers."

 

"They deceive," Teal'c said, a snarl to his voice.

 

Jack placed his piece of fruit down, turning to look at Teal'c. The Jaffa was beyond angry, his temples throbbing as he glared at the High Lofar.

 

"Teal'c?" he asked, assessing the state of Carter and Daniel. They appeared equally as shocked over Teal'c's outburst, giving Jack that funny feeling in the pit of his stomach that the good people of Aria weren't so good after all.

 

"They lie," Teal'c muttered, his accusing gaze directed at Lofar. "They hold Goa'uld weapons in their possession."

 

"What?" Daniel asked, sounding shocked.

 

Teal'c narrowed his eyes. "Not only do they possess Goa'uld technology, they have also acquired forms of biotechnology."

 

Jack's face fell. Bioweapons?

 

Turning back to the High Lofar, he set his jaw and spoke angrily. "You have bioweapons? What the hell?"

 

"Damn," Jack muttered, feeling cold. "They had bioweapons."

 

"You remember." Teal'c seemed pleased. "They indeed held weapons of great power. My guide attempted to steer me to other regions, but I was persistent. I was able to persuade Yolen to allow me to see the warehouses."

 

Somehow Jack thought persuasion had very little to do with it. "And this is where you found the goods."

 

"Only they were not good, O'Neill," Teal'c said sternly. "The Aria had many weapons of great devastation."

 

So, obviously Teal'c had been out of the loop concerning Earth culture for a while. But Jack would take whatever information he could. "I'm going to take a jump here and assume that something happened with the weapons with you, me, and Daniel?"

 

A flicker of confusion passed over Teal'c's face at Jack's comment. "I was not injured on this mission."

 

No?

 

"My shrink said you were."

 

"I can assure you, O'Neill, I was not injured on our mission to P3X-329." If Teal'c was ever emphatic about something, Jack felt this was it. "Your doctors must be mistaken."

 

About a lot of things, Jack thought to himself, feeling uneasy. He didn't trust MacKenzie or Schneider to save his life, but now he felt his suspicion being to grow beyond mild distrust. Teal'c wouldn't lie to him about something like this, would he?

 

"Schneider told me that you, me, and Daniel were injured off-word," Jack told him. "I didn't imagine it. It happened just a couple of weeks ago."

 

Teal'c seemed doubtful. "Are you certain?"

 

"Yes! She said you were injured, too. Just not as bad."

 

Teal'c didn't bother to respond to him, but stood there, thoughtfully, considering Jack's words. Though, just when he was sure that Teal'c was finally going to comment, and give him some insight as to the discrepancy in their stories, he paused, turning his full attention onto Daniel.

 

Daniel remained unconscious, sleeping quietly, as he'd been doing since before Jack and Teal'c had entered the room. Not a change. Nothing.

 

"Daniel Jackson," Teal'c intoned at once, the power emanating from his voice. "Are you attempting to play a trick on us?"

 

A mischievous, sly smile curled at the corners of Daniel's mouth, despite the fact his eyes remained shut. Shocked, Jack watched as Daniel seemed to fight breaking out into a fit of giggles, his face distorting in a variety of different expressions as he bit back his amusement.

 

Jack was dumbfounded.

 

"Daniel Jackson," Teal'c tried again. "What form of amusement is this?"

 

Once more, Daniel squirmed, keeping his eyes shut, as he tried in vain to hold back. Finally, the pressure was too great and he burst out into laughter, sharing with them that horrible wheezy sound that was starting to annoy Jack. But, even so, Jack had to admit he welcomed the irritation compared to its alternative.

 

But Teal'c wasn't finished. "Perhaps I was wrong," he said to Jack with a knowing smile. "Daniel Jackson rests comfortably. We shall leave and return when he is awake."

 

At this comment, Daniel gasped, snapping his eyes open before reaching over to grab Teal'c's arm. It wasn't out of distress or malice, or even desperation. The two of them grinned at each other and though mentally worlds apart, they shared a warmness that left Jack cold. As he watched him, Jack become acutely aware of their differences, and no matter how hard he tried, he couldn't fight the sorrow that washed over him. Even though Teal'c remained off-world, doing his thing, he and Daniel had obviously remained close somehow. That was something Jack could never claim, watching as the outsider looking in at the two people he once called friends but now saw as strangers.

 

"So, he plays jokes," Jack said, surprised. "I thought he had trouble interacting with people and things."

 

Again, Teal'c frowned at him, eyeing him with caution and pity. "This is not so."

 

"No?" Jack asked. His frustration over his confusing state of being was beginning to take its toll, and he could feel his anger threatening to bubble to the surface again. "That's not the story everyone around here is telling me."

 

"How do you mean, O'Neill?"

 

"What I mean is that someone is lying to me and I don't take kindly to it." Jack rubbed his face, shifting his weight as he stood at the foot of Daniel's bed. "I've been told—No, I've seen Daniel just zone out and be useless. Now, after a mild stroke, he's bouncing and carefree?" Jack shook his head. No way in hell. "Teal'c, come clean with me. I deserve it."

 

"I have been nothing but clean with you," Teal'c replied bitterly. "Perhaps it is you who have been mistaken, O'Neill. Did I not tell you that your mind is not what it once was? Did I not say that what you see and hear may be untrue?"

 

"Yeah…" Jack mumbled, not at all happy with the way this conversation was turning. "And didn't I tell you that there is something seriously wrong with this scenario?"

 

"Indeed," he said curtly. "But perhaps it was I who misjudged the nature of your health."

 

Jack stared at Teal'c. That didn't sound like good news for him.

 

"Come on, Teal'c," Jack said, almost pleading. "You're the only one I can trust here. I need you to give me a clue."

 

And as if right on cue, Daniel smiled, one of those really dumb smiles that the naked aliens that sang to plants used to have, with the immediate effect of calming them both. Finally, Teal'c released himself from Daniel's grip and focused on Jack.

 

Sighing, he nodded once. "Colonel Carter and I were proceeding to the Stargate when both you and Daniel Jackson fell behind. When we went back to retrieve you, we had discovered that the people of Aria had decided to enact revenge upon you. They used their weaponry and attacked you, leaving you immobile. It was I that carried you back to the Stargate." He glanced over at Daniel, forcing a soft smile. "And the rest is, as you would say, history."

 

"History I can't remember, Teal'c."

 

"This I understand, but I am unable to provide details of events for which I was not present." He paused again, allowing Jack to see the regret and sadness that he held inside. "It was not long after the battle at Aria that I had to return through the Stargate to continue the battle with the Goa'uld. I wish this decision could have been different, but it could not."

 

"I understand," Jack said softly. Teal'c had to keep fighting. Jack would have wanted him to keep pushing, to keep seeking freedom for his people. If he didn't, everything that they had fought for would have been worth nothing. "You did what you had to do."

 

"If events had turned out differently, I would have taken Daniel Jackson through the Stargate to build anew. But it was not so."

 

If only events had turned out differently, Jack thought wistfully.

 

"Teal'c, look, I'm sorry…"

 

"There is no need to apologize for actions that you cannot recall." He placed a hand on Daniel's shoulder, bringing him back to their reality. "But perhaps now you can rest and live in peace now in the present."

 

Jack nodded. If he really had lost ten years of his life, he couldn't get those years back. But he didn't want to give up that fantasy, to believe that what he was experiencing now was real. There had to be more. There had to be something better. His life had not been full of hardship just so he could end up here.

 

His gaze fell to Daniel, who had become engrossed in trying to rip the wires from his body, while simultaneously playing with the device that was taking his pulse. Frustrated, he grunted, kicking at the covers, while whining and mumbling something that was unintelligible.

 

Had everything they had done in their lives amounted to this?

 

"Daniel Jackson," Teal'c scolded. "You do not wish to put that in your mouth."

 

Daniel grunted at him and turned his back. Jack had to smile. It felt like all he had left.

 

All that he had left in this blackness. Darkness.

 

A darkness that was threatening to consume him, he realized, as he lost his footing and his legs buckled under his own weight. Shock overcame his body. He felt detached, the black spots growing in front of his vision, while everything slipped out of his reach. Gasping, he struggled to fight the grip of unconsciousness, willing himself to stay afloat and conquer this sudden onslaught. But before he knew it, he was gone.

 

Chapter 8

 

He couldn't remember. He just couldn't remember.

 

Jack moaned, tossing and turning in his fitful sleep, passing in and out of consciousness. He was assailed with so many smells, the sterile stink of disinfectant, the earthy aroma of autumn leaves, and the stench of bile. All conflicted in this putrid battle for dominance.

 

He thought he heard things. Voices. People, people he didn't know, were around him, talking.

 

"He's gotten worse."

 

"If only he'd take his medications."

 

"Hostile behavior, aggressive movements, inability to distinguish reality from fantasy…" There was a pause. "He's becoming a danger to himself and to others."

 

"Should we increase his dosage?"

 

"It doesn't matter if he refuses to take them. I recommend institutionalization."

 

He listened to them for a while, strangers that so easily discussed his life and freedom, while he lay immobile wherever he was. All he could seem to do was listen, or drift, unable to move under the heaviness that pressed down on him.

 

Was this how Daniel had felt when they'd thought he was schizophrenic? Trapped and alone, watching the time fly by, just waiting to pass on without anyone knowing the truth?

 

What was the truth? Why couldn't he remember?

 

He could remember some things. He remembered Daniel and Teal'c goofing around in Daniel's hospital room. He remembered feeling faint. He remembered Teal'c rushing to his side. Then, he had heard MacKenzie, and Schneider, talking to him as he slipped in and out of consciousness.

 

He swore he'd heard Daniel.

 

They wanted to restrict him, keep him away from Teal'c and Daniel, he recalled.

 

"Don't let them," Jack had told Teal'c before he had passed out for the final time. "Talk to Carter. Tell Carter."

 

The blackness had come again, warm hot sticky blackness that left him cold and sweaty.

 

He had drifted in the darkness for a long time, content on not thinking and not being. But inevitably, the darkness had started to fade, leaving him with jagged fragments scraping at his mind.

 

Colors of red, yellow and green swirled around his head. He was tormented, assaulted with the smells again.

 

He had remembered Daniel. Daniel was with him.

 

The sound of a volley of shots rang through the air, slicing through the serene crispness of the cool morning sky. Grunts, screams, and silence.

 

Daniel dropped to his knees. Blood flowed like a river.

 

Jack jerked awake, breathing hard as his eyes surveyed the room.

 

Home. He was home.

 

Slowly, he rose to sit in his bed, eyeing his bedroom once more, suspicious of everything around him. He couldn't recall coming home, or even how he got here. He couldn't remember what had happened. He couldn't even weave together the threads that were left dangling in his mind.

 

Moaning, he bowed his head into his hands.

 

He was crazy.

 

Jack wasn't about to let some insanity keep him from visiting Daniel, or trying to renew his relationships with Teal'c and Carter. So, later that morning, Jack found himself back at the reception desk, waiting to be cleared for a visit.

 

"What do you mean no?" Jack asked, pressing his hands down on the counter.

 

"I'm afraid I can't let you in, sir."

 

Jack was not going through this again. Screw it. He'd go on his own.

 

Without another word, Jack walked past the reception desk and headed down to see Daniel. First, he'd check Daniel's quarters to see if he'd been released; Jack still didn't have a very good grasp on time and wasn't sure how long he'd been out of it. If Daniel wasn't there, then he'd just go over to the hospital and see him there.

 

Simple.

 

"Sir, you can't! I'll call security!" the female receptionist screamed after him.

 

Let her. She could call everyone in the damn place. This was getting old.

 

Jack kept walking, ignoring the protests and the looks that people were giving him. Any second now, security would be on him, but he'd make it to Daniel's room first. Maybe if he were lucky, they'd knock him out and bring him out of the haze that was distorting everything.

 

Or they'd drug him. Maybe he and Daniel would get matching cells.

 

"Jack! Uh, sir!"

 

Jack paused long enough to see Herman rushing up to him while waving the security officers away. Jogging up to Jack, he turned, blocking his way, gazing at him sternly.

 

"Just coming for a visit," Jack said simply.

 

"I know." Herman forced a smile but didn't move. "As much as I'd like to let you see him, it's not a good idea."

 

"Why?" Jack glared at him. "Can't have crazy old men coming to visit friends? Afraid it might rub off or something?"

 

"No, it's not that. You know it's not that." Herman sighed, and for a second Jack thought maybe the man really was sorry. "After what happened the other day, I just think it would be better for you to come back when you're back on your medication and feeling more like yourself."

 

"Not going to happen," he said, pushing him aside. He started to head back towards Daniel's room. "I am not going to spend my life doped up without any idea of what is happening around me. And I'm seeing Daniel."

 

Herman grabbed him by the arm. "I can't let you go. Not after what happened last week."

 

Jack shrugged him off, eyeing him suspiciously. "Last week?"

 

"When you attacked your doctor?" Herman said, reminding him. "You don't remember that?"

 

Jack didn't even look at Herman. He remained standing alone, staring at the wall, trying to absorb this new piece of information.

 

Everything was fitting too perfectly. Every time he felt like he was making headway, every time he was able to gather more information as to what happened, he would hit a stop. It didn't matter what it was, whether it was sickness, or a doctor, or even a flat tire. There was always something trying to throw him, something was trying to stop him from seeing Daniel, or renewing talks with Teal'c and Carter.

 

Jack was beginning to sense a conspiracy.

 

"I'm going."

 

Herman grabbed him again, this time more forcefully. "Don't make me—"

 

"It's okay. Let him go."

 

Jack exhaled with relief, glad to see Carter walking up to him. He was sure he saw what looked like pity in her eyes, and he realized that she probably saw in him nothing but madness. She didn't look at him the way she used to, not back when they'd worked together and respected one another.

 

When Herman released him, Jack brushed his jacket with his hands and straightened himself, trying to scrap up any dignity he had left. Watching Herman back off, Jack coolly walked to meet Carter.

 

"Change of heart?" he asked her.

 

"I had a talk with Teal'c," she said softly. Forcing a small smile, she tugged lightly at his jacket, steering him towards Daniel's room. "Come with me."

 

They entered the room, finding that Daniel was waiting for them with one of his handlers by the door. He didn't rush to greet them, nor did he even seem to care either way. Daniel just stared impassively.

 

"How's he doing?" Jack asked, though really he didn't want to know.

 

"Good," she said, reaching over to brush her fingers through Daniel's hair. He still made no move. "The stroke was a minor one, and he's come out of it fine."

 

Jack nodded. This felt…awkward. He wasn't entirely sure what to say to her, and he could see the same resistance in Carter as well. Ten years had gone by and they couldn't even small talk right.

 

"So, how are things? Pete? Work?" he tried.

 

"Good," she said again, but appeared uncomfortable.

 

Well, they were getting nowhere this way…

 

"Do you want to take a walk?" Carter asked at last, though her hesitation and lack of enthusiasm threw him.

 

Jack nodded. It wouldn't hurt. "Sure," he replied.

 

He, Carter, and Daniel made their way outside onto the lawn. Jack could tell this was a popular place for the patients and their caretakers to come; several groups were sprawled out picnicking or watching the clouds pass across the sky. Some of the more alert patients were laughing and chatting away. Some of the more mentally disturbed folk sat speechless in their own little worlds. Other people, obviously just physically injured and recovering, sat in the sun, relishing the fresh air.

 

"People come and go," she said quietly, walking between Jack and Daniel. "There are new faces here everyday."

 

There was sadness in Carter's voice, one reflected in her blue eyes. He knew what she meant by the words, and it stung them a little more than he thought it should.

 

"Daniel's never going to be able to take care of himself," Jack realized, vocalizing his fear.

 

"No," she said.

 

That was it. After all they had gone through together, the four of them, this was how it ended. They were splintered and no miracle could change Daniel back to who he once was.

 

Dejected, Jack glanced over at Daniel, watching as the younger man stumbled alongside Carter, just going through the motions of his life. His curiosity and his zest had been destroyed; he was practically an empty husk.

 

"But Teal'c said Daniel did stuff."

 

Carter thought about what he said, taking a moment to smile at Daniel warmly, and rub his arm. "Teal'c seems to have a way with people," she admitted. "Daniel and just about everyone at the hospital open up to him whenever he is here. Aside from that…" Carter sighed. "I can get him to talk a little and sometimes I think he understands what I'm saying, but even now we're really unsure of his cognizant abilities."

 

"I think he knows more than he's telling us," Jack said coolly, sizing up Daniel. The other man turned his head and looked up at the sky, his mouth hanging open, ready to catch flies. Yeah, so Daniel just had to prove him wrong. "We played chess the other day," Jack lied.

 

Carter wasn't buying it. "He may have some moments of lucidity but…"

 

"Yeah, I know. Wishful thinking."

 

"Though, there is some truth to what you've said," Carter said. It sounded as if her voice would crack. "Sometimes I think he's holding back, almost as if he's afraid and ashamed. When he does talk," she explained, "he has trouble stringing a coherent sentence together. I'm convinced he knows that something is wrong, but he can't understand why. He knows he isn't supposed to be this way."

 

Jack was stunned and even a little horrified. Daniel knew. God, Daniel knew he was sick and he couldn't figure out how or why.

 

"What about the Asgard? Or the Nox?" Jack offered, trying to think of anything. His buddy Thor would do anything for him. He figured he could fix him up and make Daniel as good as new, too. "Or maybe some other race we met?"

 

Carter shook her head, hiding her face in a way where Jack was certain she was trying to prevent him from seeing any weakness in her. "The war with the Goa'uld did more than put hardships on all of our lives for the past few years. While we were fighting them, we never realized how bad things became with the Asgard."

 

Jack opened his mouth, dumbstruck. She couldn't mean…

 

"The Replicators decimated their population, Jack." Her gaze was as sympathetic as it could be. "The remaining Asgard had to flee and try to find some way to rebuild, especially since their clone bodies just can't…" She shook her head. "We don't even know how many are left alive."

 

They'd lost the Asgard? The Asgard?

 

"What about the Nox?" Hey, it was a long shot, but the Nox liked them. Some of them, anyway. "Did they get word…?"

 

Carter nodded, grabbing Daniel gently by the arm when he started to stray. "The Nox managed to get in touch with Teal'c and the Jaffa. We apprised them of the situation and they seemed willing to help, especially Daniel, but then we lost contact. They seem to have just disappeared."

 

No one just disappears, Jack thought somberly.

 

"The Ancients? Atlantis? Anyone?"

 

Slowly, Carter shook her head. "We've never been able to contact the Ancients and neither did the expedition from Atlantis. Doctor Weir and her crew found nothing we could have used."

 

Jack found that hard to believe. "No one at all? What about the Tok'ra?"

 

Now, Carter was visibly shaken. "Most of them died at The Battle for Gatik." Her voice became quiet. "It was a turning point in the war. Many Jaffa, Tok'ra, and Goa'uld died there."

 

Damn, Jack thought. He had a sneaking suspicion what had happened had something to do with her father.

 

"I'm sorry, Carter," Jack said, reaching out to put his hand on her shoulder. He gave it a tentative squeeze before withdrawing completely. "I don't remember."

 

"Really?" she asked suddenly, with a twinge of anger to go along with her skepticism. "Are you really seriously telling me that you can't remember anything over the past ten years?"

 

She had every right to be angry, if what she had said was true. He'd split. He'd left Carter, Teal'c and Daniel to handle this mess on their own.

 

"I'm not making it up, Carter," he said quietly. "I'm frustrated beyond belief that I can't remember a damn thing. Teal'c tells me things. You tell me things. The doctors tell me things." He shook his head, setting his jaw. "It doesn't seem right. None of it."

 

She just brushed him off angrily, grabbing Daniel once again as he started to wander away. "It's not right. It's not fair what you did to us. It's not fair that you think you can walk back into our lives whenever it suits your needs."

 

Jack just looked at her, not knowing what to say.

 

"Do you realize how hard it's been on me?" she said bitterly, the anger cracking her features. "Teal'c had to keep fighting the Goa'uld. You, despite a head injury, came out relatively okay, but you walked. You left. You left me and Daniel alone."

 

She was rattling now, but Jack didn't care. She didn't care. She needed to do this.

 

"Alone, Jack. Alone. He was lying in his bed, calling out for people that died years ago. God, do you have any idea what that is like? To have to sit there and see your friend just break down, sobbing for comfort that no one can give him? And you," she said, nearly snarling. "And you stood there. You just stood there, cold and indifferent. He cried for you, Jack, and you walked away."

 

Blank. Nothing but blankness. He couldn't remember anything Carter was saying. To him, it never happened.

 

"I'd never walk away," he said his voice low.

 

"You did. You did walk away. Teal'c and I tried. We tried so hard. But you wouldn't see us. You wouldn't see Daniel. We used to be a team," she shouted, stabbing her finger at the air. "I thought that meant some thing to you!"

 

"It does!" he shouted back. "I wouldn't do that! It never happened!"

 

"It did happen, Jack, and you have to accept that!" Carter shifted her weight from her left foot to her right, shaking her head in disbelief while running her hands nervously through her hair. "You can't live in this denial forever. You have to come to terms with this."

 

"Carter…"

"No," she said, her voice now breaking. "Nothing you say can erase the pain that I felt. Nothing you can do can change what the four of us once had."

 

"We didn't lose it. Unless I'm crazy, this never happened, Carter!"

"God, I can't believe you!" She laughed, her eyes wild, as she turned and repositioned a very confused and distraught Daniel. "You still don't see it."

 

"Carter," he said again, this time his voice dropping into a warning.

 

"And do you know what the worst part of this whole mess really is?" she said, her tone far past the point of bitterness.

 

He kept his tone cool. "What's that?"

 

"I want to be angry with you, Jack. I want to say it's all your fault. I want you to pay for what happened on Aria." She sighed, lowering her voice when she saw Daniel squirm uncomfortably. "But Teal'c believes you, and I have faith in Teal'c."

 

He frowned. "What are you saying?"

 

She sighed, a frustrated sigh, causing Jack to wonder if she was mad at the situation or just mad at herself. "I'm probably going to regret this, but…are you sure you are only receiving flashbacks from this one mission?"

 

"Oh, there's no mistaking it," he said confidently. "Nothing else is coming to me. Not even the stupid little things. I just keep getting bizarre out of sync flashes to this planet, and they're becoming more detailed and intense everyday."

 

"I don't understand it," she muttered, drawing Daniel closer. "Why just that one mission? You should be able to have glimpses into different aspects of your life. Unless…" Her voice trailed off as she frowned thoughtfully. "Unless, you repressed this memory so deeply, your mind can't function until you've come to terms with it."

 

"No…I was thinking more maybe the Goa'uld, or maybe our friends the Replicators." Jack scratched his cheek. "Time travel or something?"

 

She stared at him. "You're theorizing that your mind from ten years ago was somehow transplanted into this time period in order to give you a glimpse of your future so you could change the outcome?"

 

Okay, so that hadn't exactly been what he'd been thinking but…"Yeah," Jack answered, stepping to the shade. "You took the words right out of my mouth."

 

Carter nodded, but he could already see her mind was buzzing. "Theoretically, it's possible. But it's one of the more fringe notions of time travel."

 

"So? If it's got something to do with Goa'uld technology or…Ancient tech?" Jack asked hopefully. "Maybe I touched something I shouldn't have?"

How ironic would that be, he thought, after all the years he kept vigilant making sure Daniel and Carter didn't get too wrapped up in their discoveries.

 

"Something maybe on that planet?" he added hopefully.

 

"It's a long shot," Carter admitted. "But, I don't know. It doesn't make any sense to me. We should have seen a difference, or found something. None of this is adding up."

 

Jack sighed inwardly, starting to feel his frustration bubble into anger again. He just needed someone to listen to him, to believe him.

 

"Carter, really. Something is happening and I don't know what." The three of them stopped, standing apart in the shade of a large tree. "I'm a man of action. No one gets left behind. Is it my M.O. to shut down and push people—"

 

He didn't even allow himself to finish his thoughts. Not when realization smacked him like a ton of bricks. There wasn't any need for him to get caught up in another lie. Sure, he was a man of action. He never left anyone behind. Throughout his career he made sure of it, only regretfully disavowing his creed when there was no other choice.

 

But there was always a choice when it came to the sticky subject of emotions. And every single time he'd been faced with his emotions, he ignored choice. He ignored his motto completely.

 

Damn, he was a jackass.

 

Beginning to feel more alone than he'd felt in a long time, Jack nearly lost himself to emotions and his thoughts. Instinctively, he wanted withdraw, to start the cycle all over again, to just get away.

 

It was Carter's sympathetic touch that brought him back.

 

Smiling softly at him, she tugged him back towards the building. "Maybe a break from your medication actually did you some good," she said softly.

 

"Yeah." Though somehow, Jack didn't think so.

 

"Come inside," Carter said quietly. "We can talk some more over lunch."

 

*     *     *     *

 

Jack set his tray down on the cafeteria table, resisting the urge to chuck the whole thing. After seeing the coloring of bologna here, he'd settled for the tried and true tuna sandwich, but even now he was having regrets. He swore the sandwich was moving.

 

Though, the state of his food lost all meaning when he became distracted by Daniel, who was waiting for Carter, and doing this strange repetitive maneuver where he grabbed his shirt and stomach over and over.

 

Jack stared at him, wondering if he was witnessing the side effects of Daniel's brain damage or something else.

 

"What's he got an itch?" Jack asked Carter as she approached the table.

 

"It means he's hungry," Carter explained, placing the tray down in front of him. Immediately, Daniel smacked his lips and stopped grabbing at his stomach, easing himself into the seat across from Jack. "He uses non-verbal cues to communicate."

 

All his life, Daniel had been one to communicate. Jack knew his file inside out. From his early years to now, Daniel had always had a desire to learn and understand people, primarily through language. He wasn't really sure if that need had blossomed after he'd lost his parents, or while in the foster care system, or because of his abandonment by his grandfather Nick. Whatever the case may be, Daniel had always accompanied his linguistic element with hand gestures, facial expressions, anything to make his ability to make a connection more successful.

Seeing him try to communicate now, with the only way he knew how, didn't make Jack feel any better.

 

Daniel ate quietly. He would bring his sandwich up to his mouth, chew slowly, his vacant gaze slightly off kilter. He'd look at Jack, almost as if he was watching him, studying him, with eyes that saw while at the same time eyes that didn't.

 

Uncomfortable, Jack shifted in his seat and bit into his tuna sandwich.

 

"It took us awhile to understand the various physical gestures he was making to try to talk with us," Carter said, bringing his attention back to her. She rubbed Daniel's back affectionately. "Even though he doesn't communicate verbally anymore, he still seems to be able to get what he wants," she admitted with a smile.

 

Wasn't that always the case?

 

Daniel stood in front of Jack's desk, arms crossed, his brow furrowed in thought. "I'm beginning to believe that they have Carthaginian roots, but I can't be sure. Their society is definitely feudal, though, with traces of Anglo-Saxon and even German influence."

 

When Jack stood and started for the door, Daniel still didn't take the hint and continued to talk. "Though, what I find strange is the complete lack of discerning cultural features and cohesion in their society. No monuments or obvious architectural works, aside from their castles which are far better in construction and quality than anything here, and even their place names, surnames, and overall language sounds and feels generic. I was only able to piece together some clues based on obscure root words within some old texts." He paused, stopping with Jack by the door. "I'm sure with some more research, and some study of their mother tongue I'll be able to figure it out."

 

"And I would be interested why?"

 

"Well, considering the fact that they are requesting a meeting with you, I thought you'd like to know a little bit about their history."

Jack rolled his eyes at Daniel. Always with the history and the culture.

 

"From what you've told me, it doesn't sound like you know who they are. And you're going to teach me?"

 

Daniel set his jaw, staring at Jack indignantly. "I have a general idea of their roots, but I haven't been able to pinpoint their exact culture, yet. It's possible that with all the peoples that were taken from Earth, that some cultures we come across will have a certain amount of blending to them." He followed Jack out of his office and into the hallway. "It's not much different than here, on Earth, when cultures come into contact with each other."

 

"Yes, Daniel," he said, beginning to become frustrated. "You've told me. Twice."

 

"Well, that's because it's important." He slipped around Jack and stood in front of him. "I know the President is pressing you for something tangible from the Stargate missions, just like the former administration did with General Hammond. Now, I believe these people may be able to provide that for us."

 

Jack arched his eyebrows. Was this the same Daniel Jackson that used to beat him up over trying to gather new forms of technology?

 

"And?"

 

"And, no catch, Jack. Not this time." He crossed his arms again, staring Jack down with all he had in him. "They're a peaceful people and accepted us graciously. They're giving us access to so many parts of their culture, despite how generic it is, but this includes everything. Even their technology."

 

Jack mulled over Daniel's statements, weighing them against the Intel they already had on the people of Aria. Both Teal'c and Carter had already reported to the SGC via the MALP, feeling comfortable enough with their hosts to send Daniel back to brief Jack while they remained on Aria. Which, now, Jack was figuring was a tactical move by Carter. Jack wasn't blind to the fact he was getting a reputation for letting SG-1, especially Daniel, get whatever they wanted.

 

That just wasn't true.

 

But on the other hand, Carter would never separate the team if she felt uneasy over the situation. Carter wouldn't risk her team's lives.

 

Jack sighed. "Okay, so what do they want?"

 

"Jack?"

 

He snapped out of his reverie, still caught off guard every time he heard Carter call him by his name. "Carter?" he asked, blinking back to reality.

 

"Another flashback?" she asked.

 

He swallowed down the vile food and nodded, thankful he hadn't choked while taking his little mental trip. "They're oh so fun."

 

It was only a matter of time before Carter's curiosity got the better of her. Puzzled, she leaned forward, sliding her tray to the side to study him more carefully.

 

Daniel kept chewing.

 

"Lots of images," he said, tossing his sandwich down with disinterest. "It's disjointed. On the planet, at the SGC, in a castle…

 

Running through the forest being chased by a bunch of crazies…No, he could honestly say he didn't miss this part.

 

"Running," he finished.

 

"Running?" Carter questioned.

 

"Yeah. Running," he mumbled, picking at the glop that was spilling out of the side of the sandwich. "With trees. Lots of trees."

 

"The planet?"

 

He glanced up at her, keeping his face serious. "You tell me."

 

Carter eyed him carefully, sizing him up no doubt. He could tell that part of her wanted to tell him everything she knew, but another part of her was holding back, probably afraid she would get hurt again. Which was all well and good, but this was his life they were playing with right now, and he wasn't comfortable with being left in the dark.

 

"What's…what's the last thing you remember?" she asked cautiously.

 

"And what is a hemmir?" Jack asked, not bothering to keep the lack of interest out of his tone.

 

Nothing seemed to ever dissuade Daniel. "It's actually quite fascinating, Jack. The doctors here use them on their patients. It helps the patient relax while the doctor operates on them. Or something…" His voice trailed off as he rubbed his fingers over the thin device. "I think it serves as a kind of anesthetic, which by the way, is remarkable considering their culture isn't as advanced as ours."

 

"Yes, how remarkable." Jack wasn't convinced. More likely than not, this was a sign that all was unwell here. The only other culture they'd met, from his recollection, that was backwards but had jumbo weapons were the people that had the Sentinel, and weren't they ever helpful. "What else you got?" Jack asked, attempting to bring Daniel back to the present.

 

Daniel put the thin objects down and moved over to the next item. He hovered over it, as if he was trying to find the right words to describe the…ball. While Daniel mused over it, Jack took the opportunity to catch this Eli Karn guy eyeing him carefully, almost secretly, though he was doing a poor job of it. Carter was near the door, talking to her "counterpart," Olin San. Then, he figured Teal'c was still discussing security with…Ty Yolen.

 

"A cathed," Daniel said at last, placing his palm on the ball. "If I remember correctly, the doctors here pour some kind of manufactured liquid into the sphere, and when you squeeze it, the substance seeps into your pores and has a calming effect. Something about inner healing something something…"

 

Jack quietly walked over to Daniel, dropping his voice. "Daniel, has it occurred to you that you aren't exactly a medical expert here?"

 

"Janet would have loved this stuff, you know," Daniel said abruptly.

 

That took Jack by surprise. He supposed in some way she would, had she still been with them.

 

"That doesn't give you the authority to go around pretending to be a doctor," Jack said under his breath.

 

"I am a doctor," Daniel countered with a smile.

 

"Not that kind of doctor…" Jack frowned, watching Daniel fingering something else. "Daniel…"

 

"This-this is just a head rest," Daniel said. He moved to the next item and frowned. "And this, well, I don't know what this is, but this…" He pointed to a chair. "This helps to regenerate old cells. Karn let me try it."

 

Jack raised his eyebrows. "Oh?"

 

"Yeah," Daniel's eyes narrowed in that crafty teasing way of his. "Do you remember when you shot me?"

 

Jack cleared his throat. "Yeah."

 

"Now you can barely see the mark," he said proudly.

 

Wonderful…so Daniel had already begun playing with Doctor Frankenstein. Another reason why he missed going off-world. Who was going to tell Daniel and Carter to stop touching things?

 

Speaking of Carter…

 

He shook his head, snapping out of the flashback to stare at her. She was waiting, hesitant, but still waiting.

 

Daniel smacked his lips as he blinked at Jack and ate some more.

 

"I remember some medical type stuff. And labs?" he asked, his voice tilting slightly at the end. "I remember labs."

 

"They…weren't medical aides, Jack."

 

This caught his attention, causing Jack to sit straighter, his tuna sandwich long forgotten. He knew that tone of voice, and he knew that look of hers all too well. She knew more than he did, and didn't know exactly how to explain it to him.

 

"Out with it, Carter."

 

"They were experimental labs," she explained, pausing for a moment to rub circles on Daniel's back when he coughed. "They weren't used to care for their sick at all." She stopped, a burning intensity in her eyes. "They lied to us."

 

He knew something was fishy. He knew that those labs were not what they seemed to be.

 

"I remember something about bioweapons?"

 

Carter nodded. "They had a whole storehouse of weapons, including the so-called medical devices they showed Daniel." Inhaling sharply, her face changed from one of anger to sorrow. "We tried to get to you. We tried to get you and Daniel but it was already too late."

 

Teal'c had said something similar. Something about the people of Aria using them as experiments.

 

So, that was it? He and Daniel ended up being guinea pigs for some lying, cheating race of people?

 

"When we found you, you and Daniel were already far gone," she said quietly. "They'd…done something to your minds."

 

Listening to Carter, Jack reached up to gingerly touch his scar. He'd gone off-world and had fallen into the hands of an unscrupulous people. Worse, it had ended with the destruction of one of his closest friends, and the break-up of SG-1.

 

What had gone wrong? Why the hell couldn't he remember?

 

"You weren't as broken as Daniel. We rushed you both back to the SGC, and while you both had brain damage, Daniel…had much deeper wounds."

 

Even after all these years, Carter couldn't say it. He could see the pain in her eyes, and the years of worry and stress in the lines of her face.

 

He looked down at his hands, suddenly feeling sick. "So…not time travel?"

 

Carter looked as if she would cry for him. "Your head…I know you can't understand it, but so much has happened. If you'd stayed on your medication, Jack, this might have been avoided. They help you. They help you distinguish reality from fantasy and they keep your anger in check."

 

"So you're saying that because I stopped taking my medication, I lost ten years of my life? What sense does that make?" he asked, spitting out the words. "I may not be a technical genius or speak like thirty languages, but I do have some common sense, Carter, and I am telling you I don't like how the pieces of this puzzle are falling together."

 

She sighed. "You don't have to like it. But it's the truth."

 

He groaned, tossing a napkin in the middle of his plate. Teal'c had believed him. Teal'c was supposed to persuade Carter for him.

 

"Wonderful. So I'm a nut and Daniel gets fascinated by applesauce," he muttered, watching Daniel poke his fingers into the food.

 

"I really didn't want it to happen this way," she said softly.

 

"Fine. No harm done," he snapped, folding his hands in his lap. "Now that we've had our little talk, how about easing up some restrictions on me? What about letting me visit Daniel and share responsibility over him."

 

Carter glanced to the side, pursing her lips as she exhaled. She refused to even glance his way.

 

Now, see, that was bad.

 

"Carter…"

 

"I really, really didn't want it to happen this way," she said quietly. "If this had happened sooner, if—"

 

Jack shot a look over to Daniel, who had released his hold on the applesauce to play with his spoon. It was as if the rest of the world didn't exist for him.

 

Knowing more than feeling that the other shoe was about to drop, Jack glared at his one time second in command. "What's going on?"

 

"Daniel's being transferred."

 

Jack gaped at her. "What?"

 

She moved in her seat, the discomfort claiming her entire body, and mirrored in her eyes. "He's not getting what he needs." Her voice was cracking, her eyes tearing. "I'm at the SGC so much. Teal'c is off-world. He doesn't have anyone." Her eyes became pleading, aching. "I've tried everything I could all these years for him, but he's just not happy."

 

"Carter, you can't do that!" Jack shouted, appalled. "You're his lifeline, for cryin' out loud!"

 

"I know," she replied under clenched teeth. "You don't know how hard this is. And if the war with the Goa'uld was over, this wouldn't be an option. But Pete works all kinds of shifts and sometimes I can't get away from the mountain." She sat straighter, her eyes aflame. "I didn't want this, Jack. I would do anything for Daniel. This is the right decision."

 

"How's he gonna take it, huh? How are you going to explain to him that he's being moved and he won't see you anymore? Do you think he'll understand?" Jack pointed to Daniel, trying to ignore the fear in the other man's eyes at his tone of voice. "He doesn't understand any of this! He laughs at a stupid mummy that pops out of a pyramid. You're abandoning him."

 

"Don't." She stood, her face reddening. "Don't you tell me how I feel or how I should act. This is best for him. This isn't about me. This is about him."

 

Jack glowered at her. "Shipping him far away?"

 

"Virginia."

What the hell? "Virginia?!"

 

"General Hammond is retired now," she explained, cooling slightly. "He's up there in age, but he's in good health and in complete control of his faculties. He moved out there with his daughter and their family." She patted Daniel's head, smoothing out the hair as he shook and gaped at them. "But he lives alone and would like some company. He wants to take Daniel."

 

Jack stood to meet her. "What about me? He needs company. I'm retired, too. He can stay with me."

 

She laughed nervously. "I don't think that is a good idea."

 

"No, and why is that?"

 

Carter had lost all patience at this point. "You are not fit to watch him, Jack. I couldn't live with myself if you—"

 

"What? If I what?"

 

She stopped, and looked away, setting her jaw. Then, abruptly, she brought Daniel to his feet and began to nudge him towards the hallway.

 

He couldn't believe it, feeling his throat go dry. She was implying he would—

 

They began to head to the door, leaving him alone at the table. No. They weren't going to walk out on him. He charged after them.

 

"You think I would hurt him?" He spun Carter around angrily. "You know me better than that!"

 

Carter shoved him, firmly planting herself between Jack and Daniel. "You aren't on your medication and you have a tendency towards violence. Look at yourself!"

 

He took a step back, looking down at his hands. They were shaking, rattled with rage. Jack gasped, stumbling backward, unwilling to come to terms just with how irate he felt. What had happened to him? He'd always had a temper. But he was trained. He was in the Special Ops. He would channel that anger…

 

And that is why Carter didn't want Jack near Daniel. She knew what a man with his kind of background and training could do. If what she said were true, then Jack wouldn't want to be near himself either.

 

Carter sighed, drawing Daniel into a brief but warm hug. Jack could see Daniel was nervous, near hyperventilating, something he assumed was his fault. When Carter let him go, she faced Jack. Her anger was gone, but replaced by pity, an emotion that Jack felt was far worse.

 

"I'm sorry," she said softly, reaching out to take his hand. "I'm so sorry. Jack, I really didn't want it to be this way."

 

He said nothing. Carter was taking Daniel away and that was final. Daniel would be gone. Teal'c was gone. Carter was gone. Jack would be alone.

 

After Charlie's death, that was all he had wanted. He had cut himself off from everyone, turned into himself, and valued death far more than life. He hadn't cared what he did to his family or to Sara. He had wished above everything else for pure and utter isolation.

 

How ironic that after all these years he would get his wish, something he now despised.

 

"Carter," he said, taking a step closer to her. "Don't."

 

"It's done, Jack. He leaves in a couple of days."

 

Done. Just like that. Daniel would never understand.

 

"He knows General Hammond," she said, trying to give him hope. "The general flies out to see him often. He'll be happy there."

 

Jack nodded. He felt numb and on fire at the same time, the pain flashing through his body not unlike a blast from a staff weapon.

 

"Then, will you let me have one last day with him?" he asked. He hated to sound like he was begging. But this was all he had now. "Just, give me clearance to spend the day with him one more time?"

 

She didn't even consider it. She nodded, the tears in her eyes, as she reached out to touch the side of his head. Jack forced a smile, thankful she at least granted him one last wish. It was all he had.

 

All he had.

 

Daniel stepped in between them and twisted his body, resting his head on Carter's shoulder. If things were different, it might have been funny, watching the three of them look like fools. But in reality it was probably the last time the three of them would ever be together.

 

What a sobering thought.

 

"Just promise me one thing," Carter said, withdrawing from him and urging Daniel to do the same. "Before you leave, pick up your pills. Just try, Jack. Try and maybe things can be different someday." She reached over and kissed him gently on the cheek. "It's never too late."

He gave a slight nod, but didn't answer her with words. Sadly, he watched Carter and Daniel disappear out of the cafeteria and leave him to his own thoughts and feelings.

 

Once again, he felt the cool chill of the autumn air.

 

 

Chapter 9

 

 

Jack smiled, passing the receptionist with a wave of his hand. Without incident, he headed down to Daniel's room, adjusting the strap of the duffel bag that he had slung over his shoulder.

 

Today would be a good day.

 

He frowned, noting that Herman was standing right outside the door.

 

"Hey, Herm," he called out, trying to hide his annoyance. "Isn't it your day off?"

 

"Colonel Carter thought you might feel more comfortable if I stayed with you and Daniel today."

 

Jack forced a smile. Herman had left him and Daniel alone before, so he wasn't quite sure what happened to make the happy-go-lucky man a little more possessive today. Though, he had the sneaking suspicion the so-called event from last week and a little encouragement by Carter hadn't helped any.

 

"Carter said Daniel and I could spend today alone," he said flatly. "Not that you're bad company, or anything. I just don't come here to see you."

 

He chuckled. "Good to see you, too."

 

This man was not getting it. Though, would Jack leave a supposed mental patient that needs anger management with a guy that couldn't take care of himself?

 

He guessed he should be happy that Herman was doing his job.

 

"All right," Jack said at last. "I'll go in and grab Daniel. Why don't you meet us outside?"

 

"Outside?" Herman eyed Jack carefully. "Got something planned?"

 

"Oh yeah," he said with a smirk. "Big plans."

 

*     *     *     *

 

Whistling to himself, and with a spring to his step, he entered Daniel's room, greeting his friend with a cheerful hello. He wasn't halfway through the door, though, when Daniel hopped off the bed, wearing a grin of his own, and thrust the chessboard into Jack's stomach.

 

"Ah, no. How about later?" Jack asked, taking the chessboard from Daniel and placing it on the bed. He watched Daniel's gaze follow the movement, his hands reaching for the chessboard to once again give it to Jack. The older man shook his head and grabbed Daniel by the wrist. "I have something better planned today."

 

Releasing his grip, Jack turned to his duffel bag and unzipped it, quickly shoving the chessboard inside. He heard Daniel gasp, and start to fidget, moaning as his arms reached for his precious board. Jack immediately shushed him, pointing around the room to distract him.

 

"Pick stuff that's important to you." When Daniel showed a lack of comprehension, Jack tried again, this time with a broad, sweeping gesture. "Stuff. Your stuff. Grab your stuff."

 

Daniel continued to stare at him, his fingers twitching as he kept eyeing the bag. Jack was sure that if he couldn't get Daniel to focus soon that he was going to start making a fuss.

 

His doctors were still convinced Daniel couldn't interact with his environment? Did they ever spend time with him?

 

"Daniel," he said, moving to the bookshelf. "This book? You like this book?"

 

Noiselessly, Daniel stumbled over to Jack, his gaze canvassing the bookcase. He stuck out his tongue, his face deep in thought as he mulled over his choices. Satisfied, Jack patted him on the shoulder, and began his hunt.

 

He grabbed whatever he could, referring to knowledge he had concerning the old Daniel. He figured that some of his tastes had to still be the same, and he would use that to his advantage. Therefore, he nabbed some little objects that littered a table in the room, took some of his clothes from the drawers, remembered a spare set of glasses from his nightstand, confiscated a couple of weird looking figurines, and then rushed over to meet Daniel back at the bookcase.

 

"Find anything you like?" Jack asked. He stole a glance over to the door, relieved that he was still in the clear.

 

Daniel moaned softly and fumbled at Jack's duffle bag. Jack gently rebuked him.

 

"No, not the chess set. Books." Jack ran his hand down the spine of one of the books. "This one?"

 

Daniel didn't even watch his hand. He was too busy staring at Jack's face, his eyes searching him, almost as if he was looking for something specific. That unsettled Jack a bit, so he reached over and turned Daniel's chin toward the bookcase in order for his eyes to remain where they belonged.

 

"Books," he enunciated. "Hurry. I don't have all day, Daniel."

 

Still no move from Daniel. He just stood there, taking up space.

 

Jack sighed, sliding a few books out from the bookcase, and roughly tossing them into the duffel. He heard another quiet gasp from Daniel, but ignored it. He didn't have time for Daniel to dawdle.

 

Next, he bypassed Daniel completely, walking over to the closet and snatching a jacket. It looked warm and worn, something that Daniel could find relaxing and comforting. Nodding with approval, Jack moved back to Daniel and started to slip his arms into the sleeves. He didn't even bother to ask. He knew that it would take an hour for Daniel to get the point.

 

Jack stepped back to look at him. Daniel looked out of place, much too thin to fit into the jacket, but it was his vapid expression that made him look like a lost soul. It would have to do.

 

Tugging lightly at his friend's jacket sleeve, he guided him to the door. "Come on, Daniel. Walk time."

 

*     *     *     *

 

Jack walked as brusquely as he could, gently nudging Daniel to move a little faster as they walked over the lawn outside of the USAF Hospital. As they moved through the grass, they received more than a few curious looks from some patients and some hospital workers. Jack found in those situations, he'd just give them a short wave, explaining they were having a picnic today.

 

That answer was usually greeted with a nod and a wave of its own, or a cheerful joke. Which for Jack was perfect.

 

Until Herman reappeared.

 

"Going somewhere, Jack?" he asked, pointing to his bag.

 

Jack glanced down at the bag, and then to Daniel. The younger man was already eyeing the zipper. He didn't want Mr. Itchy Fingers to start grabbing at it again, so he settled for a distracting arm around the shoulder.

 

"Daniel and I," he said giving Daniel a squeeze, ignoring the disdain on his friend's face, "are going to have ourselves a little picnic."

 

"Picnic?"

 

"Yeah, right here on the lawn. Carter took me out here yesterday and it gave me an idea." He patted Daniel's shoulder, nonchalantly slapping his hands away from the duffel bag. "I thought Daniel could use some fresh air."

 

"It's a nice idea," Herman said, his brightness returning. "This will give Daniel some time outside with good company."

 

Jack smirked at him, putting on his best face. He liked Herman, and thought of him as someone who really cared for people and his job. That made what he was about to do even more difficult.

 

"Damn," Jack blurted out, the smile disappearing from his face.

 

Herman frowned, taking a step closer. "What?"

 

"I forgot to bring some plates. Of all the—"

 

Herman clapped Jack on the shoulder. "I'll get them. You settle down on the grass and get started. Where are you going to be?"

 

Jack quickly scanned the landscape, finding a nice little neat corner to his far left.  "Right over there looks good. Behind that big tree."

 

Herman nodded, smiling again in that boisterous way of his. Jack watched him go, and urged Daniel forward, steering him towards the tree in the far distance.

 

When he saw that Herman was out of sight, Jack veered right. Moving as quickly as he could, he kept pushing Daniel forward, trying to get him to concentrate on his walking instead of the duffel bag. It wasn't until they had left the lawn, passed a grouping of trees, and were on the street in front of Jack's car did Daniel start to become more aware of his environment.

 

He had to pick now.

 

After Jack had opened the passenger side door and thrown the duffel bag into the back, he turned back to Daniel and beckoned to him with a wave of his hand while keeping his voice as gentle as possible.

 

"Come on," he said.

 

Daniel stiffened, jerking back, his eyes widening as he looked around the street. Jack knew any second now he was going to start to hyperventilate, and though Daniel had never shown any signs of fight or flight, Jack didn't want to put it past him.

 

"It's my car," he said, pointing to the truck that had become the object of Daniel's panic. "We're going for a little ride."

 

Jack reached out to grab Daniel's arm to pull him closer to the truck, but Daniel wouldn't have any part of it. Whimpering softly, he pulled his arm back and let out a shrill cry, his body shaking as he blew into a full panic.

 

He started to make for the hospital.

 

"Dammit," Jack muttered, quickly catching up to him. He seized Daniel by the shoulders, pulling him close so he wouldn't struggle. Keeping the squirming man under control, he easily backtracked to the truck. "Come on, Daniel, get in the car."

 

When Daniel continued to resist, Jack knew he'd have to try something new. Sighing, he reached into his jacket, and withdrew a candy bar.

 

"Here," he said, placing the candy firmly in Daniel's hands. "Eat that."

 

Whatever had been going through the other man's mind must have vanished since the candy bar instantly fascinated Daniel. Jack swore he even heard a short laugh as Daniel tried to rip open the packaging.

 

The distraction was enough for Jack. Quickly, after glancing over his shoulder to make sure he was in the clear, Jack gently pushed Daniel's head down as he slid him into the passenger seat. He shut the door, and hurried to the driver's side, getting into the truck before locking the doors.

 

"You ready?" Jack asked, buckling Daniel into place.

 

Daniel grunted, still fumbling with the candy bar, the only acknowledgement Jack knew he would get. Watching Daniel become more and more frustrated, Jack grabbed the candy bar before he did too much damage with his stomping feet.

 

With one quick jerk, Jack bit down on the top of the wrapper and peeled it off to expose the chocolate. Then, he handed it back to Daniel, and let him "ooh" and "aah" all over the thing.

 

Pleased that Daniel was now occupied with munching on the bar, Jack turned on the ignition and pulled into the street, leaving the hospital and all its empty promises behind him.

 

 

 

Chapter 10

 

Somewhere in the back of Jack's mind he knew he'd done wrong. Though, at the moment of his plan's inception, he hadn't been thinking about how bad this act would look, or even what the consequences would be.

 

The truth was he'd just kidnapped a man. He'd hijacked his friend, a friend who was under the care of a woman deeply involved in a secret project for the government, one that reported directly to the president.  And she was married to a cop.

 

Plus, he'd taken him from a hospital. A military hospital.

 

Crazy man, one time brigadier general, on the lamb with another mental case. It sort of reminded him of Rain Man, but with some obvious differences.

 

"You remember that movie?" Jack asked Daniel casually, while keeping his focus on the road. "You know, the movie with the two brothers?"

 

He stole a glance out of the corner of his eye, noting Daniel wasn't even paying attention to him. Daniel seemed to have drifted off into that place he sometimes went, but it wouldn't dissuade Jack from trying.

 

"Good movie," he continued, despite the lack of understanding from his friend. "The young one tried taking care of the older one." He chuckled. "Guess it's the other way around here, huh?"

 

When Daniel still didn't reply, didn’t snort, grunt or even sigh, Jack ended his attempt at conversation, and stole another glance over at the one time linguist.

 

Daniel was staring out of the window, his fingers tapping at the glass as their surroundings blurred into green and brown. They were on the highway now, traveling as fast as Jack could allow, as they made their way out of the state.

 

It was going to be a long drive. They would need to stop for breaks and to rest. Jack wasn't sure how well Daniel would take to these sudden changes, but the part of his mind that ignored the logical section told him it would be all right in the end.

 

That was the plan right? To prove to Carter that he wasn't insane? To show that he could take care of Daniel no sweat? That way, Daniel could stay, he and Carter could make amends, and Teal'c could stop by. It would be one big party.

 

Content with his rationalizations, Jack continued to drive for the remainder of the day, stopping occasionally to let the two of them stretch their legs, grab some food, and to take a leak. Finally, several hours later, Jack found a good hotel in small town off the highway, and decided they should settle in for the night.

 

"Here we are," Jack said brightly, kicking the door of the hotel room to reveal its interior. It wasn't anything special, drab, boring, but at least it wasn't dirty. It would do. Hoisting up his suitcase with one hand, he adjusted his duffel bag with the other, and entered the room.

 

Apparently, Daniel was not as impressed. He followed Jack into the room, his whole demeanor one of insecurity and fear, cowering slightly as his gaze roamed around the room. Jack remembered that the aides at the hospital had said something about Daniel hating change. Really, there was no bigger change than this. He just hoped Daniel wouldn't choose today to become vocal.

 

Jack gave a quick inspection of the beds before heaving the bags on top of them. His next goal was to lock the door, and then head over to the TV. The guy behind the desk said they got some cable channels. Hopefully, the old tube would work. The battered old box looked like it had seen better days.

 

"I'm going to have you watch some TV for a bit," Jack told Daniel. He walked over to the quiet man and put the remote in his hands. "You can watch whatever you want, but sit down and I'll be back in a sec."

 

As expected, Daniel didn't answer. With all the telltale signs of a delayed reaction, a few seconds later Daniel finally looked down at the remote, a slight frown creasing his forehead. He rolled the remote over in his hands. Then, as if he'd just made an extraordinary discovery, Daniel found the buttons and started pressing them randomly.

 

Shrugging, Jack figured that was close enough. He grabbed the suitcase off the bed and heaved it on top of the dresser. With a quick pop, it opened, revealing an assortment of haphazardly packed items. He had all the essentials and whatever he didn't bring, he was sure to have at the cabin.

 

The cabin was the main goal anyway.

 

Jack stole a quick glance back to Daniel, keeping an eye on his actions. He was still merrily playing with the remote, not even caring that he wasn't getting any picture on the screen.  Jack sighed and shook his head. He supposed whatever made him happy…

 

While Daniel was preoccupied, Jack took the opportunity to check out the bathroom. It was small, but good enough. As long as the toilet worked, he could really care less about anything else in the room.

 

Now that his little tour of the room was over, he figured he'd catch a show with Daniel, and then maybe they could head out to grab some supper. When they got back, maybe they'd even have some time for a movie. Cable had to have something fun, like a western or an old war flick…

 

Jack stared. War? They'd walked into a nation at war?

 

"With whom are you at war?" Teal'c asked evenly.

 

"We need to have means of protecting ourselves from the Decreed," Ayi answered.

 

 Decreed? Damn, this was sounding worse and worse by the minute. If Jack had known they were getting involved with a race that was a warring people, without understanding any of the reasons…

 

Frowning, he shot a disapproving look to Carter.

 

"We didn't know, sir," she answered to his silent reproach.

 

"Who-who are the Decreed?" Daniel asked.

 

Jack jerked, feeling strangely light, and off kilter, before realizing he was flat on the bathroom floor. How had he gotten on the floor?

 

He almost questioned it altogether, sensing his mind drifting off into unconsciousness, when he felt a hand urgently shaking his chest. The more he tried to let himself go, the more persistent the pressure on him.

 

Scowling, willing himself awake, Jack lifted his head and blinked, trying to clear his vision. When he finally could see again, he realized Daniel was hovering over him, kneeling by his side, rocking nervously, his hand still clutching Jack as if he was his only lifeline.

 

He looked like he was on the verge of panic.

 

Jack realized that the whole ordeal probably was terrifying for a man who lacked full control of his faculties. Add to that the fact Jack, a virtual stranger to him only a month ago, had grabbed him from his home and taken him on a trek into some far off place.

 

Just what the hell had he been thinking?

 

Realizing Daniel had yet to stop, Jack pushed himself into a sitting position, uncurling Daniel's hand from his chest and shirt. He gave the frightened man a reassuring pat on the shoulder, and rub to the back, hoping to calm his fears.

 

"I'm okay," he said, giving Daniel another reassuring squeeze. "Must have fallen or something…"

 

Daniel continued to rock next to Jack, his hands to his mouth, his eyes wide. Just watching the pathetic sight was enough to bring doubts to Jack's mind. Being a part of those doubts only made it worse.

 

He snapped his fingers in front of Daniel. Still nothing.

 

"Daniel," Jack said softly, shaking him hard enough to make him stop his rocking. He tapped his cheek, forcing Daniel to look at him. "It's okay. I just passed out for a minute."

 

Or was it five? Ten?

 

Jack glanced down at his watch, shocked to find that twenty minutes had passed. No wonder Daniel was in a panic. Jack couldn't even begin to imagine what was going through his mind.

 

The flashback had been so short, so quick. How the hell could he have been unconscious for twenty minutes?

 

Suddenly, Jack felt uncomfortable, realizing that Daniel was still gazing at him. Though, he guessed that it was better than the little nervous breakdown he'd had by his side.

 

Using Daniel's shoulder for support, Jack pushed himself to his feet, taking a moment to steady himself and brush off any lingering dizziness. Cursing himself over his weakness, he remained that way for as long as it took, not wanting a repeat performance of his on-the-floor-trick. When he felt stronger, he helped Daniel to his feet, giving him yet another reassuring squeeze.

 

This time Daniel responded better, with what Jack thought was a soft smile tugging at his lips. Pleased, Jack wrapped his arm around Daniel's shoulder and gave him a hard manly pat on the back. He was about to joke around with Daniel and do something that he hoped would ease the other man's mind, but he was interrupted by the low rumble of Daniel's stomach.

 

Daniel looked down at his stomach, frowned, and began to grab at his shirt. Licking his lips, he gazed up at Jack, and fumbled at his shirt again.

 

Jack nodded. "I'm hungry, too." He remembered seeing a buffet across the street. Pushing any of the lingering doubts he had about his ability to take care of Daniel, he nudged his friend towards the door. "Let's go grab some grub."

 

Thankfully, by the time they made it down to the buffet, it was late and the majority of the dinner crowd had already left. Most of the seats were empty, the place was quiet, but fortunately he could see the food on the buffet line was still steaming. With a grin, and holding back his own growling stomach, he guided Daniel to the waitress waiting at the seating podium.

 

"Hi, I'm Beth," she said cheerfully. "Just the two of you?"

 

Jack nodded, pulling Daniel a little closer. He had stiffened somewhat since they'd walked in the door, occasionally jerking back as if he wanted to go out into the street. Jack feared for another panic attack. Those fears began to become a reality when he heard a hitch in Daniel's breathing.

 

"Just-just a sec," Jack said to the waitress, holding up his finger before pushing Daniel to the side.

 

He rubbed his back soothingly. "It's just a restaurant. We're going to eat and give you something better than those cheese sandwiches you were eating back at the hospital."

 

Daniel wasn't listening to him, or at least he didn't think he was. Instead, his eyes kept rolling to the right and left, his wild gaze all over the room. When he saw the waitress approaching them, Daniel tensed and whimpered, digging his head into the side of Jack's neck.

 

Caught off guard, Jack wasn't really sure what to do. He didn't like to be in this position, and he hated having to give comfort like this to a grown man, someone who should be able to take care of himself. But Daniel was obviously having a hard time.

 

He rubbed Daniel's back again, talking to him gently as the waitress stopped beside them. "Is he okay?" she asked.

 

"Yeah." Jack cleared his throat, beginning to peel Daniel away from him. "He's, uh—He doesn't like change or strangers," Jack told her. "I'm trying to get him to open up a little bit more."

 

She nodded slowly, taking a step back. "Well, I can see about getting you a booth or a table far away from the door, so the two of you can get some peace," she offered with a small smile. "Though, it might be away from the buffet line."

 

Jack appreciated the kind offer she was making. "That's probably for the best. What did you have in mind?"

 

She guided them to a table by a window, located on the back wall. Jack had to admit the seating arrangement was pretty sweet. It was away from the kitchen, the doors, and the bulk of the remaining crowd. The only thing Jack had to worry about was how to manage bringing both his plate and Daniel's plate back to the table without dropping them while still watching Daniel at the same time.

 

"If you'd like," the waitress said as she placed their utensils down. "I can walk with you and when you're done, I'll put your plate down on your table so you can help your friend choose what he wants."

 

He could kiss this waitress for reading his mind. "Perfect," he told her.

 

She ended up being a huge help. Jack had picked out what he wanted to eat relatively quick, piling on some barbeque ribs, ham, fried chicken, and some potatoes and peas for good measure. Daniel, on the other hand, took forever to decide. He kept staring at the buffet choices, his index finger to his lips, shifting his weight back and forth as he hummed to himself. They'd gotten more than a few distasteful looks by some of the other customers, but Jack decided to ignore them and concentrate on Daniel. Getting busted for a brawl wasn't going to score him any points with Carter.

 

Finally, Daniel had decided on some chicken nuggets, french fries, and some breaded mushroom things, and an assortment of dipping sauces. Jack had tried to encourage him to eat something a little more substantial, like fish or real chicken, but Daniel had been content on his choices. In the end, Jack had to force some carrots and corn on his plate. Of course, Jack knew there was some underlying reason why Daniel was being a little picky. Daniel might be out of it, but the man sure had a nose for desserts.

 

Grabbing a couple of items off the dessert tray, Jack guided Daniel back to their table, helping to ease him into his seat. He held the desserts back, wanting Daniel to at least eat some of the food on his plate. He was looking a little pasty, and still was way too thin to be normal. Some good solid food would be a good way to liven him up a bit. It wouldn't hurt things with Carter and Teal'c, either.

 

Satisfied that Daniel was eating, actually eating and not just picking at his plate, Jack chowed down on his own choices. He was starving, and it seemed no matter how much he filled his stomach, the hunger never fully left him. He'd already started eating his apple pie and vanilla ice cream while Daniel was still nibbling on his nuggets.

 

Sitting here with Daniel, quietly sharing a meal with him, seemed wrong on so many levels. Daniel had always had something to talk about, and Jack had been forced to listen whether he liked it or not.

 

The silence was disconcerting.

 

Though, it did give Jack the opportunity to think.

 

He thought about a lot of things. He thought about Sara, and wondered if she'd ever tried to reach him these past ten years. He thought about how old Charlie would be now, if he were alive, and how much of a fine man he could have become. He thought about Carter, and how she'd sacrificed so much of her life to take care of Daniel. He thought about Teal'c and the Jaffa Rebellion, wondering if they would ever truly be free. He thought about Hammond, finally having retired, having lost so much of his golden years to the Stargate Program. He thought about everything he'd lost and everything Daniel had lost, and how over eight years of friendship had been erased by a single misstep.

 

He thought about a lot of things.

 

It was then that Jack realized, he had finally allowed himself to start believing in the worst-case scenario. He'd been trapped living the life of a loon for a month now, without any break to let him know that at least maybe there was something else. His flashbacks, his life, the disjointed nature of everything around him—who was to say he wasn't crazy? Carter and Teal'c had been upfront and honest with him, when you got down to it, and even the discrepancies between their stories and his visits with his shrink could be explained by his inability to grasp reality.

 

But Jack could be a stubborn ass when he wanted, and he just couldn't let go that there was some hope he had been sent forward in time or something. Though, even he had to admit that hope dwindled with each passing day.

 

The one thing that bothered him was his latest flashback. War. The people of Aria were at war with something called the Decreed. That didn't sound so good.

 

Is that what had happened to them? They were lab rats for the people so they could get the advantage in their little war? Was that it?

 

Sighing, Jack poked at the peas on his plate. He was sure he was supposed to remember something about this guy Bec Lofar…

 

Okay…so the old guy wasn't so old.

 

Nor was he a guy.

 

The three of them stared with disbelief at the woman that was seated on the cushion, her male servants tending to her with fruits and fans, while her female entourage kept silent watch in the background.

 

"Daniel," Jack whispered, nudging the other man. "I think you left out a few details."

 

The linguist didn't answer, staring with his mouth open. When Carter cleared her throat, he blinked a few times, his cheeks flushing, before finally becoming extremely interested in the walls. With a hard glare aimed at his friend, Jack swore when he had the chance, he was going to give Daniel a swift kick in the…

 

"O'Neill," High Bec Lofar announced, rising to her feet. "It is an honor to meet someone of your stature. From what I have seen and heard, your people are a kind-hearted race. This is a quality we, the people of the Aria, value highly."

 

"Thanks," Jack said cheerfully. "We try."

 

He could actually feel the groans that wanted to erupt from Carter and Daniel, but for once in his life, it seemed his sarcasm was taken well. The king, or queen, chuckled, tossing her dark locks to the side. She smiled at Jack, rubbing her neck lightly, before licking her lips, and despite himself, Jack found himself smiling.

 

There was a mutter behind him, one he was certain was an Abydonian curse. Allowing his smile to turn into a grin, he glanced over at Daniel, a not too pleased Daniel. Yeah, Jack was going to run with this one.

 

"Sir…" There was a warning tone to the sound of Carter's voice.

 

Jack had everything under control. "So, we came from our land to open up trade, maybe a dialogue…"

 

"Trade is important to my people," the High answered, snapping her fingers.

 

A lovely young woman stepped forward, her purple robes falling softly over her sculpted body. She smiled shyly at Jack, and then to Daniel, ducking her head as her cheeks glowed with a ruddy hue. This time Jack wasn't laughing, especially when he suspected he knew what this queen was offering.

 

"I offer my sister, Ayi, in the exchange," the High announced proudly. "And you?"

 

"Me?" Jack felt that itch to touch something, to handle something as he tried to sort things out. He wanted Carter and Daniel to remind him again why he had agreed to play diplomat. "Uh…one minute."

 

He took a step back, nabbing Carter and Daniel with him. Surely, the queen would understand his need to talk to his advisors. When he felt he was far enough out of earshot, he opened his arms and impatiently waited for their opinion. Instead, he got nothing but two smartasses.

 

"Should I flip my hair, sir?" Carter's voice was sultry, and she pouted her lips. Which might have been sexy if she hadn't been carrying her weapon over her shoulder and smelled like moldy tapestries. "Or maybe I can feed you some fruit."

 

"Cute, Carter. Very cute." He glared at her, snapping her back into her military-minded mode. Almost.

 

"Or maybe Sam and I can just ogle you some," Daniel said, his voice just above a whisper as he batted his eyelashes flirtatiously. He stopped abruptly, pausing for a moment so both he and Carter could deliberately appreciate Jack.

 

"I'm glad you're having fun."

 

"The High certainly is," Daniel countered, causing Carter to barely hold her back her grin.

 

Jack glared at him. That's when the fun and games ended. Daniel and Carter might have picked up on some of Jack's under valued qualities, but when it came down to business, he knew he could count on them.

 

"What do I do so I don't offend her?" Jack asked them.

 

"Flirt back," Daniel said simply. "If you can elevate her ego, and steer the conversation towards the technology that we want to exchange, then she shouldn't be too offended over your—" He cleared his throat. "Dismissal of her sister."

 

"Daniel's right," Carter agreed. "We've been treated well since we arrived here. They're a peaceful people. I suspect this is just a formality."

 

Jack nodded, heading back to the queen. Made sense. The United States did that sort of thing all the time, only, to his knowledge, the President didn't go around trading his siblings around all over the globe. But, as he knew Daniel would be more than happy to point out to him, historically marriage exchange has always been an important part of political alliances.

 

Jack rolled back his shoulders and stood a little taller. He smiled back at the queen, and then to her younger sister. "Your offer is, wow, tempting," Jack managed to say, refusing to look back at either Daniel or Carter. "But as beautiful as your family is, I don't think Earth can handle…it."

 

He heard the snickers behind him, but he wasn’t going to play into Daniel's or Carter's amusement. Jack wasn't fluid with words. He was more a man of action.

 

The queen's smile waned slightly. She glanced over at her sister, who seemed both relieved and embarrassed at the same time, and then back to Jack. "I do believe your world can," she said softly, her eyes flickering with passion. "Your world appears to hold beauty of its own."

 

Jack smiled back, but started to feel a little out of his element. While he appreciated the comment, this wasn't exactly where he wanted to the conversation to…

 

Daniel's gasp brought Jack back from his thoughts. The High was still waiting, her eyes open and expectant, but…

 

That's when Jack realized she wasn't flirting with him at all. Shocked, he jerked and looked over his shoulder.

 

Carter's eyes were wide, her face bright red. For an instant, he was tempted to give it right back to Carter, just as she had done to him. But when he saw that Daniel wasn't even stepping up to tease, he thought better of it.

 

If these medical devices were as powerful as Daniel claimed, they couldn't mess around with joking and risk ticking off these people.

 

"Ah, no, no," Jack said, choosing his words carefully. "I'm afraid I can't let Carter go."

 

The High was disappointed, but didn't seem to have any traces of anger in her features. "Then another?" she asked, still offering her sister's hand.

 

Starting to think that the High would start making demands on Daniel and Teal'c, too, Jack felt the conversation had to shift now, whether it offended these people or not.

 

"We're more interested in technology, supplies, the like," he said bluntly. "Not that we don't appreciate what you've offered, but I need my people, just as I am sure you need yours."

 

She tilted her head, considering his words before finally nodding. Not without giving one last fleeting smile to Carter. "You speak wisely." She paused, staring at Carter and Daniel. "And your knights serve you well. Come," she beckoned, releasing Ayi's hand and gesturing for Jack, Carter, and Daniel to step forward. "Come and share bread with me and we shall discuss what we can exchange."

 

Somehow Jack didn't think the fact that Lofar was a man or a woman made much of a difference. Though, how he could forget that a woman was hitting on Carter was beyond him. That seemed to be a keeper of a memory.

 

No, something else was happening. There had to be something else he was missing. Something about the people themselves…

 

"So, right down to business this time, eh Carter?"

 

She smiled, glancing quickly over her shoulder to catch Jack's gaze briefly as she walked down the corridor that led to the Gateroom. "We got lucky, sir. I mean, how often does the MALP actually pick up on human activity in the vicinity of the Gate that's not hostile?"

 

"It happens," Jack answered back, though he'd be damned if he could count all the times on both hands. "Just be careful and check in right after you make contact with these people."

 

He was sure he heard her mutter under her breath. "Of course, sir."

 

"I'm curious as to which culture they're descended from," Daniel said aloud, adjusting the strap on his vest. "Based on the images from the delegation waiting for us, I can't really pinpoint anything obvious, but once I speak with them, I might be able to get a better idea."

 

"You do that," Jack said, chuckling himself when he saw Daniel scowl.

 

Oh, how he loved to press his buttons.

 

"Perhaps this mission will be one of success," Teal'c said from in front of him. "The people of Aria seem most pleased to meet with us."

 

"So they do."

 

Jack tried to be an optimist. He really did. But so far since he'd been promoted, Anubis had possessed more than half the base, including himself, Daniel, and Carter. They'd started a nuclear war on some planet where Daniel had gotten lost. Teal'c had been framed for murder. Carter had been kidnapped once by the Trust. Daniel had been blackmailed and then kidnapped twice. Jack had negotiated with every nutcase in the galaxy and Daniel had been shot more times than he could remember. Oh, and then the Trust had stolen the Gate.

 

So, Jack was a little wary of something that sounded a little too perfect. It was reasonable.

 

 "Jack," Daniel began, slowing down to stop to speak with Jack more privately, bringing an end to Jack's recap of his illustrious career. "You haven't been talking to Teal'c, have you?"

 

He shrugged. "I talk to everyone. Why?"

 

"Well, lately he seems to be under the impression that I can speak Elvish. In fact, he thinks I am rather fluent in it, and wanted me to translate all the Lord of the Rings books into Elvish and then back into English so he could have a true reading." Daniel paused, biting his lip. "I wonder where he would have gotten an idea like that?"

 

"I wonder." Jack walked ahead of Daniel, moving to catch up with Teal'c and Carter. This is where they would be parting ways. "Though, watch out, Daniel. He might ask you to translate Klingon next."

 

Teal'c halted in his tracks, causing Carter to stop alongside him. His face bright and open, for a Jaffa that is, Teal'c took a step closer to Daniel. "You speak Klingon, Daniel Jackson?"

 

Carter giggled and shook her head, disappearing into the Gateroom. Giving Jack one final glare, Daniel hurried after her, not even bothering to answer Teal'c. Amused, Jack gave a thumbs up to Teal'c, receiving a big but sly Jaffa grin in return.

 

After watching them go, Jack jogged up the stairs and entered the control room. The chevrons were nearly all in place, and Walter was just waiting for the okay. Jack came to stand beside him, hovering over the microphone as the wormhole engaged.

 

Jack leaned over and pressed on the mike. "SG-1, you have a go." Then he paused, smiling, recalling an old movie he had once watched. "Have fun storming the castle."

 

He chuckled, watching his old team disappear through the Gate, before he stepped away from the console. Walter gave him a look, a certifiable crazy look, but Jack just shrugged.

 

The man had no sense of humor.

 

"It's from a movie."

 

Walter stared at him. "I know, sir."

 

Jack stared back. "I'll be in my office."

 

Shaking his head, he headed for his office, wondering just how General Hammond had been able to put up with such a humorless technician.

 

Jack shut his eyes, squeezing harder, pressing himself to remember. There had to be more.

 

They were running, hurrying down the stairs, their boots making a scuffing sound that echoed throughout the entire building, bouncing off the tall stonewalls. He knew, he just knew, that they were heading for the labs, the last place he wanted to be.

 

But at this point they didn't have much choice.

 

"Damn," Jack swore, pounding his fist on the table.

 

Daniel stopped chewing, his eyes widening, but Jack brushed him off for the time being. The flashbacks were so real, so intense, that Jack knew it wasn't just his mind playing with him. But they came in fragments, like someone had chopped up his life and threw the pieces at him, wanting him to guess how to put them together.

 

Jack hated puzzles.

 

"It's like a story," Jack told Daniel, biting down some of the anger in his voice so that Daniel could relax and continue eating.  "What’s funny is that when I was a kid, I thought maybe I'd try my hand at writing. You know, I told so many lies my parents thought I was a natural." He chuckled, not knowing why he was bothering to tell Daniel any of this. "But I'm not great with words. Grammar, yeah, but to put it all together, it just doesn't work. I'm too practical."

 

Which was why this was bugging the hell out of him.

 

To his surprise, Daniel seemed to respond to his little outburst, offering him a chicken nugget when Jack had finished. Jack had to laugh at the gesture, there was no way he could even describe how he felt over it. So, instead, he nodded, taking the nugget and took a bite.

 

Daniel was pleased, doing his little nutty laugh, before digging into his chocolate mousse. Jack watched him, and sat back, finally sated. At least their supper tonight had turned out to be a step in the right direction. He hoped he could convince Carter and Teal'c of the same.

 

He was wrong. He was so wrong.

 

Later that night, Jack found himself twisting and turning in his bed, struggling to unwrap himself from the covers as he heard Daniel's wail fill the room. With a thud, he fell out of his bed and rushed to the twin that was next to him.

 

Daniel was a wreck. He was moaning, thrashing in every direction, his eyes screwed shut as if he was battling some overwhelming pain. Jack quickly hit the lights and came to his side, wondering what he could do to calm Daniel down without scaring the life out of him.

 

It was only when the light illuminated his face, did Jack realize how bad things had become.

 

Daniel was sweating profusely, his skin cool and clammy, his coloring not right. With tremors shooting through his body, Daniel would jerk to the right and then to the left. It took everything within Jack to hold him down for a just a few minutes. When he felt he had some control over Daniel, he tapped him on the cheek first, before giving him a good shake.

 

"Daniel," he said, hoping that his friend would snap of it. "Daniel, come on, now."

 

Jack reached up and touched his forehead, cursing when he felt the heat emanating from him. Not only was Daniel shaking like a leaf, he was running a fever, and it didn't take a doctor to tell Jack that wasn't good.

 

"Come on, Daniel," Jack urged him, tapping his cheek again. "Give me a sign, here. I need you to stay with me."

 

"Jack?"

 

Immediately, Jack froze, unsure if he'd heard correctly. Had Daniel just called his name?

 

He couldn’t bother with the uncertainty whether he was hearing things or not. What was important was that Daniel was awake now, and struggling with his body. Jack reached in closer, attempting to sit Daniel up, and to keep him alert and responsive. Daniel was gasping, fighting for air with every raspy breath that he took. His eyes were wild, his face carved by fear and confusion.

 

"Jack?" he asked again, his voice broken, scared.

 

"Daniel?" he asked in return.

 

God, he wasn't hearing things.

 

"Daniel!"

 

Daniel shook, curling in on himself, his body swaying forward into Jack. Even through his shirt, Jack could hear his muffled moans of pain and agony. Desperate for more, and concerned for his friend, Jack gently pushed Daniel back into a seated position, wanting to see his face and assess his lucidity.

 

"Daniel, can you hear me?" He eased Daniel into a more comfortable position, pushing back the sheets that threatened to ensnare him. "Do you understand me?"

 

"Jack?" Daniel squirmed, panting hard, flapping his hands around as he tried to gather his bearings. His eyes widened, his gaze bouncing around the room. "Where?" he looked around, his whole face knotted with uncertainty. "Where? Where?"

 

"Hotel room. You remember?" Jack asked quietly, his excitement over hearing Daniel's voice waning. "We went for a ride."

 

Daniel muttered something incoherent and then shivered, pressing a little closer to Jack. His episode of panic seemed to be ebbing, though Jack could still feel the heat coming off the man. Also, Daniel seemed oddly detached, even for him, as his eyes roamed the room as if he'd never seen it before, an undercurrent of suspicion lurking within his careful gaze.

 

"Daniel?" Upon hearing no response, Jack sighed, and tried to press him to rest on his back now that he'd calmed a little. "Why don't you just calm down? I'm going to get a towel and then when you're feeling better you can go back to sleep."

 

"Sleep?" Daniel seemed confused over this prospect. Then, he fervently shook his head. "No. Sleep. No, no."

 

"No?" That had Jack concerned. "Just lie down and rest."

 

Daniel blinked at him, the persistent frown still stuck on his face. "Jack?"

 

"Yeah, it's me," he said, patting his shoulder. "Just rest. I'm going to get you a facecloth. Stay there and take deep breaths. You understand?"

 

Daniel inhaled sharply, wincing as he turned over on his side. "Go home. Go home."

 

Reluctantly, Jack left Daniel's side, rushing into the bathroom to dampen a washcloth for him. From what he gathered, he figured Daniel had woken from a fever dream, and was having a hard time remembering where he was. That wouldn't be too hard, he thought to

himself, wondering again why he'd thought snatching Daniel was such a great idea.

 

Breathing out, Jack released his tension while wringing out the washcloth. The cool water was comforting to his warm hands, and helped ease the nervousness that rattled his insides. He was a strong man, one who hardly ever gave into his emotions, but somehow he felt this time was different. This time he was justified.

 

Giving the washcloth one final squeeze, he nodded, pleased, and looked up, catching his reflection.

 

And Daniel's cold, hard, battered reflection glaring at him from over his shoulder. "Why won't you listen to me?" he said icily.

 

Jack jumped, taken completely by surprise, alarmed to see such a bitter expression on Daniel's face. He turned around, but realized no one was there. It was as if Daniel had materialized from nowhere.

 

Baffled, Jack ran back into the main room, shocked to find Daniel just as he'd left him, curled tightly into a ball, shivering on the bed. Cautiously, fighting back the surge of unease that was threatening to overcome him, he walked towards the bed, his mind attempting to work out what had happened. He knew he had some problems with reality and fantasy, but…

 

He came to Daniel, lowering himself onto the bed and placed his hand on his forehead. Daniel shuddered at the touch, but looked up at him, blinking to clear his hazy vision. "Jack?" he asked, whispering.

 

"Yeah." Jack withdrew his hand slowly, still mulling over what had just happened in the bathroom. Was he completely losing his mind? Just by looking at Daniel, here, weak and vulnerable on the bed, he knew that image by the sink couldn't have been him. Daniel could barely sit on his own. "Hold still," Jack told him.

 

Carefully, Jack placed the washcloth on Daniel's forehead, hoping to bring down his temperature. He also wiped the sweat from his brow. Wherever Daniel's mind was, it didn't matter. His body appreciated the comfort, and he sighed, licking his lips as the water droplets trickled down his face and touched his tongue.

 

That was the last Jack got out of Daniel. Not long after Jack had been able to cool him, Daniel had slipped back into a vacant gaze, off to his disjointed world where he lived. Exhausted, Jack collapsed back on his bed, keeping silent vigil over his friend, while trying to keep all his doubts at bay.

 

Rest wasn't an option. Daniel's moment of calm vanished nearly as quickly as it had come. Not long after Jack had cooled his fever, Daniel was back to thrashing, his eyes wild and without understanding. Jack was able to entice a few words from him, thankful that Daniel still seemed to recognize him.

 

But physically, he was getting worse. That left Jack with no alternative.

 

Cursing loudly, he dialed the number Carter had left him, pacing back and forth as he heard Daniel continue to vomit in the bathroom.

 

"Hello?" her voice said softly.

 

Jack paused, part of him still wondering if he should do this. He'd stolen Daniel from a hospital where they had been taking care of him. But, he couldn't just sit back and let Daniel fall apart.

 

"Carter?"

 

She didn't answer. Nothingness shot back at him, a silence filled with more anger than he could have thought possible. Suddenly, he just wanted to see her disapproving face, her scowl, anything aside from this silence.

 

"Where are you?" she asked, her voice coming through low and cold.

 

"Daniel's sick," Jack said bluntly, ignoring her question. "He's puking his brains out here. I need to know what's wrong with him."

 

He turned away, moving his head from the phone when he heard more groaning coming from the bathroom. Quickly, he walked to the bathroom door, finding Daniel just where he had left him. The poor man was slumped on the cold tile floor, his head lying on the toilet seat while his right arm was draped over the back of the bowl. All his energy spent, he couldn't move.

 

Swallowing hard, Jack tore his eyes off Daniel, and brought the phone back to his ear.

 

"….irresponsible things you could have done!" Carter sighed, her voice shaking with irritation. "He's on medication!"

 

Jack froze. "Medication?"

 

"Yes." Carter paused. "He has brain damage and has had several strokes. He's on medication."

 

Dammit.

 

Jack winced, hearing Daniel start to heave again. He glanced back, watching his friend trying to hold onto the toilet bowl despite his weariness. Jack clutched the cell phone harder.

 

"What kind of meds? Anything I can buy?" He peeked over at Daniel again, noticing he had settled back into a slump. "Something at the drug store?"

 

"You can't buy him over the counter medication for this, Jack." Her voice was bitter and biting, causing Jack's hopes of reconnecting with her to crash. "Where are you?"

 

"He's talking now," Jack said, changing the subject. "He can say my name."

 

"Where are you, Jack?"

 

"It doesn't matter," he said abruptly. "I know you're tracking this call anyway. Just tell me what I need to do."

 

"You need to bring him home," she told him. "I-I won't press charges."

 

The concern and despair in her voice nearly knocked Jack off his feet. He wasn't sure why he hadn't expected Carter to be worried. She had given up everything for Daniel. Maybe it was the part of him that was being selfish.

 

"I'm-I'm too far now," he said with a sigh.

 

"You’re out of state," she replied knowingly.

 

He nodded, even though he knew she couldn't see him through the phone. "Hold on."

 

Jack put the phone down on the sink, and walked toward Daniel. Swiping some toilet paper, he wiped his mouth and tossed it into the bowl, before reaching down to help Daniel to his feet. Daniel didn't protest, allowing Jack to assist him. Gently, Jack brought him back into the main room, and set him down on his bed. Daniel sighed, and complied without a word.

 

Jack ran back to grab his phone. "Meet me at my cabin. Bring Teal'c."

 

"Let me talk to him."

 

Jack relented, sitting down next to Daniel so he could talk through the phone. At first, he had given Daniel the phone so that he could use it himself, but the amount of energy Daniel had expended with his fever and his illness was too much for his body to take. Instead, Jack remained by his side and allowed Carter to talk to Daniel through the phone.

 

The longer he remained sitting there, watching Daniel's facial expressions as he listened to Carter, the more agitated Jack began to feel. Daniel seemed far more alert, nodding and following Carter's conversation. Ever since his first episode that night, Daniel had gained an incredible amount of awareness.

 

Just like Jack had over the past month, when the flashbacks had started.

 

Coincidence? He didn't think so. In his line of work, nothing ever was a coincidence.

 

"Coming?" Daniel asked Sam. He stopped, rubbing at his face as Carter started to speak again. Curious, Jack leaned over, trying to catch what she was saying. He managed to make out "pain" and "hurt" and "hold on." Daniel replied to her with a simple plea. "Hurry," he said.

 

Jack snatched the phone from Daniel, glaring at him and muttered under his breath. "So, what is it, Carter? Something in the meds? Something to keep us quiet?"

 

"Not with your delusions again." She sighed angrily. "What are you talking about?"

 

Jack stood, balling his fist as he scowled at the wall. "I start getting my memory back after I stop taking my medication. Daniel starts talking and becoming more aware of himself after he stops taking his medication. Why don't you tell me what is going on, Carter."

 

"You're insane," she snapped.

 

"Am I? Am I, really?" He was beyond angry at this point. "You and everyone else keep trying to push me into getting on those pills again. And you keep Daniel drugged up in a hospital. Why? Tell me why."

 

"Jack, you—"

 

"No, Carter!" Jack yelled into the phone. "I want the truth!"

 

"Because we didn't want you to remember!" she yelled back, her voice straining.

 

She started to sob, causing all the thoughts and emotions running through Jack to come to a screeching halt. He wasn't sure what to do, what to say. Speechless, he glanced over to Daniel. He just blinked back at Jack, as if he was waiting for him to proceed.

 

Carter's reaction having thrown him, Jack suddenly felt tired. Wearily, he walked back to the bed where Daniel was resting, and eased him onto the edge.

 

"What happened?" he asked quietly.

 

"You were tortured," Carter said, her voice trembling. "Both you and Daniel. You were broken…We-we tried everything, but the two of you were far gone." She paused. "I'm sorry, Jack."

 

"Why?"

 

"We just wanted you to be able to live again without all the pain. To try and live normal lives." She sighed. "Daniel was worse off than you. We all knew he would never be the same again. Not even close. The medication helped to calm him so that he wouldn't have nightmares anymore and…to keep him from hurting himself," she finished quietly.

 

Jack dropped his head into his free hand, sighing as he thought about Daniel. All these years, he'd been trapped. Trapped in his own head just to keep the pain and the nightmares at bay. If Jack had been lucid, if he had been in control, would he have done differently? Or would he have done anything in his power to keep Daniel with him, no matter how the old Daniel would have protested?

 

He couldn't honestly answer that question. Even a couple of years later, the pain of losing his friend still hurt him deeply.

 

 Wiping his mouth, and trying to gather some semblance of control, Jack sat straighter. "What about me?"

 

"You weren't as damaged," Carter said. "But you were caught in a cycle of grief, anger, and depression. You wouldn't see anyone about your problems because you couldn't see them yourself. You reached so far into denial that you started to make things up. You were ordered to take those pills to keep you docile. A side affect was some long-term memory loss." Carter became quiet and Jack wondered just what she could be thinking, what could be running through her mind right now. "The drugs were supposed to keep your anger in check, and help you focus on events in the present, even at the expense of the past. But you withdrew anyway. We tried to get you to come back, but you closed us out. We started to suspect you'd stopped taking your medication…You kept going back to your days at the SGC, and refused to face reality. You couldn't stop taking your medication but you couldn't let go of your fantasy either."

 

Jack wasn't hearing this. There was no way Carter was telling him the truth. But why would she lie? Why would she tell him this story now?

 

This wasn't Carter. Teal'c had believed him. This couldn't be Carter.

 

"I want the truth, Carter."

 

"I gave you the truth!" she yelled back, her voice still unsteady. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry, Jack."

 

There was no time for being sorry. Not now. Not after all this time.

 

"Meet me at the cabin," he said, dropping his voice.

 

With that, he disconnected the call, slamming his cell phone down on the table by Daniel's bed. Slumping, dropping his shoulders, Jack just let his mind go.

 

He didn't want to believe her. It didn't make any sense. None of it. But then, when did a crazy man's mind lend itself to logic?

 

What the hell had happened to him on that planet?

 

Groaning, Jack eased himself onto the bed, stretching out his tired legs. He rubbed his face, unable to take his gaze off the discolored ceiling above him. The brown splotches made him dizzy, and disgusted, reminding him of old blood stains.

 

Sighing, he closed his eyes. He'd had it. He just wanted it to be over now.

 

He was content to just let go, and fall asleep, when he heard a loud grunt from his side. Tilting his head, Jack found Daniel scowling at him, giving him a gentle push on his arm. Jack frowned, not sure what Daniel's problem was, until Daniel grunted again, giving him another shove.

 

"All right," Jack said, sitting up on the bed, fighting to keep a small smile from forming on his lips. He imagined if Daniel was stronger, that shove would have been pretty damn forceful. "I'll get out of your bed."

 

As soon as Jack stood, Daniel rolled over and confiscated the entire bed. Flat on his back, he had his arms and legs stretched out, allowing them to dangle over the edge. If Jack wasn't so tired and angry, he might have found it amusing.

 

"Go to sleep, Daniel," Jack said quietly, heaving himself onto his own bed. "We have a long day tomorrow."

 

Chapter 11

 

Even with a brain injury, Daniel still didn't follow orders.

 

Last night, Jack had told him to go to sleep. This morning, Jack told him to go to sleep. Now, sitting in his truck, speeding down the highway to make it to the cabin, Jack told him to go to sleep.

 

"No," Daniel said defiantly, refusing to look at Jack.

 

"What is it with you and sleep?" Jack asked, purely out of frustration. "It's not a hard thing to do."

 

"No."

 

"You know, I think I liked you better when you weren't talking," Jack muttered.

 

He heard Daniel snort and mumble something unintelligible, before amusing himself by tapping on the glass. Tap, tap, tap…

 

The sound was annoying the hell out of him. Every single time they got into the truck, Daniel would settle in his seat, and start rapping on the glass. Jack swore he was doing it on purpose, both to irritate Jack, and also to keep himself awake.

 

If he'd just go to sleep, Daniel might lose the edge.

 

Jack frowned, mulling over that thought as he continued to head down the highway. Come to think of it, since this all began, Jack hadn't recalled seeing Daniel sleep once. Jack had been spending time with Daniel for a month now, and every visit Daniel was awake. He might not have been lucid, or aware of his surroundings at times, but he'd never been asleep. When Teal'c came for a visit, he was faking his state, playing a game. The car ride, the hotel room…Hell, Jack wasn't even sure if Daniel had been sleeping when he'd first had that outburst.

 

That just was not normal.

 

Jack slowed the truck, taking a moment to glance over at Daniel. "Do you ever sleep?"

 

Daniel just shrugged, turning his head back to the window to rap on the glass again. And again. And again.

 

"Can you please stop doing that?" Jack asked, shaking his head. "I'm trying to concentrate on the road."

 

"No."

 

Jack swore, and decided to just ignore Daniel the rest of the way. When they finally arrived at the cabin, Jack would set him straight and force him to rest for a while.

 

Satisfied with himself, Jack blocked out Daniel's incessant tapping, and stared ahead to the road and the country. He'd been driving hours on end, only stopping for a few breaks along the way. Since Daniel was otherwise occupied, he figured they could make better time without having to pause at every rest stop just so that Daniel could appreciate the view.

 

They would make good time, Jack decided. They had left well before dawn, and the roads were practically barren, even at this time of the day. Most of the trip was now behind them, having already traveled half the distance yesterday. Jack was running on little sleep, and felt his knees cramping from being in the same position for so long, but it didn't matter. Once they got to the cabin, he could stretch out and relax, hopefully convincing Daniel to do the same.

 

So, he kept driving. The trees blurred into streaks of green and brown as the truck whizzed past them. Hypnotic, Jack thought for a moment he might drift, lost in the dizzy patterns of color.

 

Colors that just bled into each other.

 

The trees blurred into a streak of faded greens and rusty browns, sharply dividing the earth from gray blue sky.

 

Jack's boots pounded onto the ground, falling into perfect rhythm with his short raspy breaths. He pushed hard, darting forward, running in a zigzag pattern, avoiding fallen limbs, overturned trees, and the twisted thorny growth that tangled itself on the bed of the forest.

 

They were coming. It wouldn't be long now.

 

Not willing for this to be his last official act, Jack drew upon his reserves of energy, tucking his P-90 to his chest, and charged forward. He was a bullet, slicing through the air, focused on what was in front of him.

 

Nothing else mattered.

 

Keep running, he told himself.

 

And he did. He pressed his body beyond its limits. He wasn't as young as he used to be, but he was still in good shape. He wouldn't be beaten.

 

Grunting, Jack dodged an energy blast, and kept moving. He heard the shouts behind him now, heard them getting closer.

 

He pushed; he forced himself to keep moving. The pain flared in his knees, but that was of little importance. He heard, he felt, the enemy behind him, closing in on them with every step, with every breath.

 

Jack shuddered to think what would happen if they caught them.

 

The staff blast exploded somewhere near his head, nearly knocking him off balance. But he would not be swayed.

 

He ran. He ran harder, ignoring the enemy close behind him, concentrating closely on running. Running, and Daniel's back.

 

He was a good distance ahead of Jack, his green fatigues just a streak of color in the muted forest. He wouldn't let the younger man out of his sights, and despite the fact Daniel was so far ahead him, he knew that he was tracking Jack as well.

 

But they would make it. They would reach the Gate. They always did.

 

Jack's hopes crashed when he realized Daniel was running towards him, quickly closing the distance between them. That could only mean that the enemy had circled around them, and had cut off their hope at escape.

 

Damn.

 

Jack slowed his pace, knowing they didn't have much time. The soldiers would be on them momentarily. Then…

 

Cursing over the thought, Jack met Daniel, and they did a stiff turn to the left, pushing deeper into the forest. This was their last option, and the only tactical move Jack had left. He was betting on Carter and Teal'c to make it through the Gate, get some back-up, and sweep this place. He hadn't wanted to involve himself in a war, but dammit, he wasn't about to let Daniel die again.

 

That's when he heard the sound. That's when he knew it was over.

 

Jack swore, his eyes flashing open, as an intense pain ripped through his right side. Cringing, Jack clutched the wheel so hard his knuckles turned white and his hands went numb. He'd blacked out? Struggling to control his sight, to gain the upper hand on reality, Jack concentrated hard.

 

He couldn't. The pain…

 

Angry, he jerked his head to Daniel, the cause of his pain, hissing at him to stop digging his hands into his side. Daniel didn't stop. Daniel's hands pressed harder.

 

"Daniel!"

 

The other man wouldn't relent. In fact, his eyes grew wide, his body trembling as he stared out the windshield.

 

At the large semi heading straight for them.

 

"Shit!" Jack swore, jerking the wheel to the left, narrowly avoiding a head-on collision with the tractor-trailer. His truck bounced and swerved, sliding along the pavement as he struggled to regain control. He felt the suspension straining, the wheels spinning, as they quickly careened off the road. The grass helped to dampen his speed, and finally, Jack hit the brakes, confident they wouldn't roll over.

 

As the truck came to a slow stop, thankfully missing the trees and the barrier, Jack released the breath he'd been holding. He wasn't sure if he should be more concerned over his latest flashback, or the fact he'd had it on the road.

 

He seemed to be spiraling more and more out of control.

 

"It's okay," he told Daniel while trying to calm himself. "We're okay."

 

When Daniel didn't answer, Jack turned to study the younger man, searching for any signs of distress. He was hunched over, arms wrapped tightly around his waist, almost as if he was struggling to keep himself together.

 

Jack threw away such a morbid thought, and reached over to place his hand on Daniel's shoulder. He jerked, and wailed out, slapping one of his hands against the passenger side window in response.

 

"Hey, let me see," Jack told him, inching a little closer.

 

Daniel sucked in a deep breath, the air whistling through his clenched teeth. As he fought the pain, he brought his hand back, streaking it against the glass with a slick whine.

 

Jack stared at the smears of blood left in his fingers' wake.

 

Feeling his stomach bottom out, Jack tore off his seatbelt and slid next to Daniel. He grabbed the protesting man's hand, turning it over in his grasp. The entire palm was blood soaked, the blood having already crusted and dried under Daniel's fingernails. Quickly, Jack began to search Daniel's body for any signs of trauma, any cuts and gashes, anything that would explain the blood all over his hands.

 

He couldn't find anything. Where the hell was he bleeding?

 

"Hold still," he told him. Daniel squirmed, panting hard, trying desperately to move away from Jack. "Come on, Daniel."

 

He smelled of blood. His whole body.

 

Jack blocked out the stench, concentrating solely on Daniel. He seemed fine, and there was nothing to indicate Daniel had any injuries. No open wounds. Nothing. There were only a few drops of blood spattered here and there on Daniel's shirt and jeans, and then there were the stains on Jack's shirt where Daniel had gnarled his fingers into the fabric.

 

The blood had to come from somewhere.

 

Daniel dropped to his knees. Blood flowed like a river.

 

Jack jumped; Daniel's low moan brought him back to the present. Shaking, Jack willed himself to focus on their situation, and stop himself from obsessing on stuff that did or did not happen ten years ago. It wouldn't do them any good.

 

"What happened, Daniel?" Jack asked him, grabbing a handkerchief out of Daniel's pocket. He started to wipe away as much of the blood as he could. "What's this?"

 

"I'm dirty," Daniel said, his voice breaking.

 

"Okay, yeah, your hand…"

 

"All done!" Daniel said, almost shouting, as he stared into nothing. "All done!"

 

Jack watched Daniel make his declaration to the air while he still tried to hold him. Daniel had begun to pant hard, rocking his head back onto the headrest, muttering incoherently under his breath. Jack touched his forehead again, swearing and bringing back his hand to hold Daniel in place.

 

He was on fire.

 

"All done," Daniel whispered. "Too late."

 

"What, Daniel? What?" Jack asked, beyond frustrated.

 

"I'm dirty," he said again, now staring at his hand. He snorted, and gave a half-hearted laugh, nothing like the wheezing laugh that Jack had heard over the past few weeks. "Dirty," he repeated, laughing a little harder.

 

He was started to freak out Jack. Tapping him lightly, Jack hoped to bring Daniel back from his growing madness.

 

Daniel continued to laugh, harder and more hysterically. "Blood," he told Jack, holding up his hand. "Blood flows like a river."

 

Jack froze, not sure if he'd heard Daniel right. He couldn't…There was no way.

 

"What?" he asked him. "What did you say?"

 

But Daniel was gone again, having drifted off into some other place. He stared vacantly out the window, into the forest and the trees that lined the highway.

 

Reluctantly, Jack returned to the driver's seat, and strapped both he and Daniel back into their seats. While he was still concerned over Daniel and this whole incident, he thought it would be best to get to the cabin as soon as possible. If Teal'c and Carter were right…Jack was dangerous. He couldn't even trust himself behind the wheel.

 

Now, not only was he having flashbacks, and a few bizarre dreams, he was hallucinating. What if Daniel wasn't really bleeding? What if he had an open wound and Jack couldn't tell? What if Daniel had never started talking? What if none of this was real?

 

This went beyond the disjointed images he'd seen of Daniel in his house and in the hotel room. This was insanity.

 

Thank God the cabin was only about thirty miles away.

 

Quietly, Jack started up the engine, and focused on nothing but the road, trying not to think a single thought. He couldn't let anything distract him, nothing at all. Though, as he started back down the road, he couldn't help but hear Daniel call out for Carter again. He sighed and closed off his mind, wondering one last time if maybe Daniel was right.

 

Maybe it was too late.

 

Chapter 12

 

 

The next flashback happened only ten minutes away from his cabin.

 

Jack had to stop and take a leak in the worst way. Not to mention the fact he was concerned over Daniel, too.

 

Pulling off to a secluded part of the roadway, Jack had undone his seatbelt, making sure Daniel was buckled in tightly, and wandered a few feet to do his business. When he was finished, he came back to the truck and helped Daniel out into the grass. He'd checked him over, his body stiffening when he realized that Daniel's hands were clean.

 

"What the hell?" he asked under his breath, turning Daniel's hands over and over in his own.

 

Daniel looked at him, almost in that way he used to look ten years ago. That knowing, slightly amused but also annoyed face, as he peered at him with raised eyebrows.

 

"What?' Jack asked, biting back down some of the hurt that expression brought him. "Know something I don't know?"

 

Daniel snorted, ducking his head.

 

Jack just rolled his eyes, trying to keep his concern masked with his sarcasm. "So, not telling me the truth, eh?"

 

"It is true," the queen said sadly. "We have not been truthful with you."

 

No kidding, Jack thought, staring at her. Though, he supposed it could be argued they hadn't been entirely honest with them either.

 

"What's going on?" Jack said, but kept his tone even, non-threatening.

 

"It is true that the Goa'uld are long gone. But we did not destroy everything after they left us." She sighed, tossing what looked like a plum back into her basket. "Our ancestors kept some of the weapons, in order to defend ourselves."

 

"Then, why the sham?"

 

"We learned how to use their weapons. We studied their books and had learned their language. Over time, we advanced ourselves, creating our own weapons, technology, and science in order to further ourselves."

 

"Not much unlike what we've done, sir," Carter reminded him.

 

"So, this is all is just a cover?" Daniel asked her, dropping all decorum. "You created this culture, this simple life, to hide the fact you're really an advanced society." He turned to Jack. "That's why I haven't been able to pinpoint their origins. It's all a farce."

 

"Not all of it, Jackson," she said, forcing a soft smile. "We keep records of our old ways, even though we have abandoned them. We did not want to remember where we came from."

 

"No offense to you and your people, High Lofar," Daniel continued, "but an important part of your identity is always reflected in your past. You don't have to dwell on it, but it makes you who you are. To ignore that completely is to deny a part of yourself."

 

"And astute statement," she said with a smile. "Your kind is one of wisdom."

 

"Some of us," Jack told her, trying to bring the queen's attention back to him. "So, that begs the question. Why all the weaponry? I understand that you want to protect yourself from the Goa'uld, but those labs I saw are pretty impressive. Based on the fact you've got yourselves some biotechnology, I'm going to take a leap here and say they're not just for medical purposes."

 

"No," Lofar said quietly.

 

"Then why?" Carter asked. "If the Goa'uld haven't been here for centuries, and you haven't had any problems, why would you need to keep stockpiling weapons?"

 

Lofar exchanged a nervous glance with Ayi before sighing. "We are at war, Carter."

 

Jack swayed, clutching onto Daniel for support. He fought off the haziness that always accompanied these vivid flashbacks. To his surprise, Daniel grabbed his arm, his grip strong and steady, and helped keep Jack from buckling under his own weight. Quietly, they supported each other as they made their way back to the truck.

 

Jack arrived at his cabin in the late afternoon. By now, the sun was low in the sky, lighting the pond aglow with little shimmers of orange and red. Though, even from the bumpy road, he could see that the cabin hadn't been touched in years. The surrounding woodland had become overgrown, encroaching the cabin itself, and the path down to the pond was full of weeds. He didn't even want to think about the condition of the water.

 

Sighing, he put the truck in park. He needed a few minutes to clear his head, and try to process what was happening. The flashbacks left him drained, almost as if he'd been through hell and back. Not only that, they left him disoriented and confused.

 

Especially his latest flashback. He had gotten the impression the people of Aria were a fearful bunch, hiding to protect themselves from harm. Why would they turn around and torture the both of them? Had they found something that caused the people to turn on them?

 

Carter and Teal'c said the natives had lied to them. Jack assumed that the last flashbacks solved that mystery. They lied to protect themselves. No? There was more?

 

War? What war?

 

Why the hell couldn't he just remember so he could put these memories behind him and get on with his life?

 

Grumbling under his breath, Jack swung the door open and slammed it behind him. He'd spooked Daniel, but he didn't care. He just wanted this to end already.

 

Pausing, Jack took a moment to survey the area. It was going to take a few minutes to clean things up so they could sit outside and enjoy some downtime, but he could handle it. Besides, Carter and Teal'c would probably be here any minute. He was surprised they hadn't beaten him to the cabin, waiting to lock him up and throw away the key. Instead, the whole area was eerily quiet.

 

"Okay," he said, opening the car door and patting Daniel on the shoulder. He roused the tired but still sleepless man into focusing on him. "Time to get out and stretch our legs."

 

After a few minutes of quick clean up, Jack had settled two chairs by the deck, grabbed Daniel's stuff, and had taken out his fishing equipment. As an extra safety precaution, Jack had dug out an old life jacket too, and had struggled to fit it on a fussy Daniel. He obviously wasn't pleased, pouting and puffing out his lips as he tugged at the jacket, but he would have to get used to it.

 

Jack thought maybe a distraction was all that Daniel needed. He had brought the duffel bag, and wedged it between the two of them, just in case Daniel wanted some of his belongings. But to Jack's surprise, Daniel had nothing to do with the bag, his sad gaze settling onto the soft ripples of the pond.

 

"What?" Jack asked, readjusting his fishing pole so he could lean closer to Daniel. He placed a supportive hand on his shoulder. "Just relax."

 

"Sam," Daniel whispered. "Sam."

 

"Carter's not here," Jack said curtly. "So relax."

 

"Sam." He looked out into the forest, almost as if he expected her to just appear out of nowhere. "Sam. Teal'c."

 

"Later, Daniel," Jack told him. "Now just sit there and enjoy the view."

 

Daniel sighed and leaned back, slumping into the chair. He cast his eyes downward, wringing his hands nervously.

 

Hands that no longer held any trace of blood.

 

When Jack had first noticed it, he had been unsettled, receiving confirmation that he was a nutcase. Daniel was fine, not a scratch on his body, no evidence that whatever had occurred in the truck had ever happened.

 

Jack was dangerous. Daniel would be in danger the longer he stayed with him.

 

Carter had been right. Dammit, she had been right.

 

If Jack continued to walk that fine line between reality and fantasy, how could he possibly help Daniel? How could he convince Carter that Daniel didn't have to be shipped off to Hammond and that he belonged here with them?

 

He realized that he couldn't. He couldn't since he'd started to believe it himself. Daniel would be better off with Hammond, or with people that would keep him safe and out of danger. People that could give him what he deserved. Jack couldn't do that.

 

This would be the last time he would see Daniel.

 

Sighing, Jack slumped deeper into his chair, mimicking the sorrow that was emanating from Daniel. After a moment, he shifted uneasily, feeling Daniel's eyes on him.  Unable to stand his intense stare, Jack forced himself to look at him.

 

Jack turned to Daniel. Daniel turned to Jack. In that moment, they knew the end was at hand. At one time, Daniel might have held a flustered expression of panic, or shock, or even openness as he searched for Jack's guidance, but now, his eyes held the pain of their grim reality.

 

Jack jolted, his heart pounding from the sheer depth of sorrow that came from his latest flashback. When he gaped at Daniel, searching the man for any sign of understanding, anything that could help Jack piece this puzzle together, he only was met with his regretful expression.

 

"Daniel?" he asked.

 

"Sorry," he whispered in response.

 

"Sorry?" Jack repeated. "What? Daniel…"

 

Did Daniel remember what happened ten years ago? Did Daniel have those memories in tact? Could…Daniel read his mind?

 

Jack thought back to all the different times they'd been together over the past few weeks. There were instances where it seemed as if Daniel was cut off from the world, and yet there were other times when it was like Daniel was right there with him, understanding everything that was happening. Then, there was the incident in the truck.

 

That was too bizarre for Jack. No way.

 

He was having another mental delusion. He must be doing everything he could to keep himself in denial.

 

But still…

 

Scowling at Daniel, demanding answers with his hard glare, Jack leaned closer. "Daniel, do you know what happened? Do you?"

 

Daniel gave him a half-hearted smile before quickly diverting his sad gaze back to the pond. Jack shuddered at the reaction.

 

That was all he needed to know.

 

"Tell me what happened," Jack demanded. "You’re the only one that can give me a straight answer!"

 

Daniel squirmed uncomfortably, pushing away from Jack. His chair teetered from the unbalanced weight, swaying a little too close to the edge of the deck. Quickly, Jack steadied him, bringing the protesting man closer. Daniel still refused to look at him.

 

"Daniel, I need for you to tell me what happened."

 

He winced, screwing his eyes shut. "I try," he whispered, pain laced throughout his voice. Bringing the heel of his palm to his head, he smacked himself once. "Try. I try."

 

Jack brought his hand away from his face before he hurt himself. Squeezing his shoulder softly, Jack tried to be as supportive as possible. "Try harder."

 

Daniel shook his head.

 

"It's important. Now tell me what you know," Jack said sternly. "I don't exactly have the time to pussy foot around the subject here."

 

"Eh-I—"

 

"Daniel." When he saw Daniel begin to bend over, curling on himself, he stopped him, struggling to keep him focused. "Daniel, talk to me."

 

"They came!" Daniel blurted out suddenly, panting hard. "Came! Went…down." He inhaled sharply. "Boom!"

 

Even this far into the castle, the blast was enough to penetrate and jeopardize the integrity of the walls of the small room. Jack braced himself by grabbing onto the corner of one of the lab tables, casting a wary glance over some of the shaking equipment.

 

The lab was the last place he wanted to be right now.

 

"All right," he said aloud, instructing SG-1 to stay close with the flick of his wrist. "It's been nice, and we'd love to stay and chat, but we'll be heading back to the Gate now."

 

"Jack…"

 

Jack held up his hand, not even bothering to look back at Daniel. They were not staying. Not this time. Not now.

 

And he wasn't going to Carter on this one, either. Despite the fact she was the leader of SG-1, this was Jack's call. Daniel knew it.

 

High Lofar nodded sadly. "Be—"

 

"They have broken through the West Wall!" one of the attendants shouted. "Our security has been compromised!"

 

The High's eyes widened. Snapping her head to Jack, she searched him pleadingly. "Doom has come for us."

 

"What?" Jack asked, willing himself back to reality. Breathing hard, he grabbed onto Daniel, afraid to lose the man to the depths of the murky pond. "What? Who came? Not the Aria?"

 

"Lies," Daniel sobbed. "Lies."

 

"What lies!" Frustrated, Jack realized he was beginning to shout and possibly scare Daniel. But all this turmoil for a month…"They lied to us, I know! What lies? More? They did more?"

 

Ayi grabbed Daniel's arm, halting him. "The mind tells tales," she warned. She slipped something into his hands, and squeezed them tightly. "Arm yourself."

 

Daniel frowned, but nodded slowly. Jack didn't have time for more chitchat. With a swift yank, he pulled Daniel away from the woman, and dragged him towards the exit.

 

They had little time. They had to make use of every minute they had.

 

Jack shook, feeling dizzy. Who the hell were these people? They lied to them about their weapons and then they offer advice? It didn't make any sense. Just how insane had Jack become?

 

He felt like there was a war going on in his mind, like there was a struggle of wills. All battling…

 

Jack stared. War? They'd walked into a nation at war?

 

"With whom are you at war?" Teal'c asked evenly.

 

"We need to have means of protecting ourselves from the Decreed," Ayi answered.

 

 Decreed? Damn, this was sounding worse and worse by the minute. If Jack had known they were getting involved with a race that was a warring people, without understanding any of the reasons…

 

Frowning, he shot a disapproving look to Carter.

 

"We didn't know, sir," she answered to his silent reproach.

 

"Who-who are the Decreed?" Daniel asked.

 

The High, nodding once to Ayi. The younger woman quickly exited the room.

 

"They were once with us," Lofar said sadly. "Only, after time, they began to twist the old ways. They have become to believe that our oppressors were truly gods and that they are the rightful descendents to their rule."

 

Jack groaned inwardly, rubbing his forehead. Not another civil war.

 

"They believe they should take the place of the Evil Ones as leaders of this land." She gazed at Jack, her expression on the verge of pleading. "They have weapons they will use to enslave us, as the Evil Ones once had. They will destroy us."

 

"Ma'am," Jack said, trying to put this as kindly as he could. "We've run into situations like this in the past. We can't get involved in a planet's, a country's, whatever, political unrest."

 

"This is why you weren't truthful, wasn't it?" Daniel asked. "You were afraid we'd turn our backs on you?"

 

She nodded quietly.

 

Jack wasn't going to allow Daniel to get them involved this time. "How do we know that you're telling the truth?" Jack asked, his gaze hard. He remembered the mess on Euronda and he wasn't about to go there again. "How do we know that it's not the Decreed that are good guys and you're the bad guys?"

 

"I can understand your hesitation and your reluctance. But we would not have been so dishonest if we were not desperate."

 

"Lofar is a kind and wise ruler," Ayi said, returning with a large book in her head. She bowed to Daniel and handed it to him. "She can see the just and the fair, or else she would have never have showed you what you have seen."

 

"The labs," Carter said. "You showed us your labs because you trusted us."

 

"Yes," Lofar said, pleased. "We also allowed for your doctor to test and study our medical equipment even though he is not a medical scholar."

 

Daniel's head shot up at that remark. Even Jack had to admit that one had thrown him.

 

"Oh my God," Carter said, her eyes widening.

 

Whatever she had realized, the light struck Daniel as well. "Of course you know. You could sense my hesitation. You're not quite human. You're empathic people."

 

"What?" Jack asked.

 

"Empathic. They can feel what we feel." Daniel blinked with surprise. "You can tell when were being truthful, or deceitful, when we're happy or nervous, or even if we're decent or unjust, can't you?"

 

If Lofar wasn't pleased before, she was now. "Yes."

 

"But, you're history and Earth, I thought…"

 

Lofar pointed to the book in Daniel's hands. "Some of us were taken from your world. Some of us were not. Between the blending of two kinds, we became what we are now. This book is a gift to you, for you to study our ways and understand us. It is what you desire."

 

Daniel nodded in that way where Jack knew these people had just received his seal of approval. Time to draw things back to the here and now. "Which is fine and all," Jack said, interrupting the party, "but I still can't just authorize support in your war. When we make contact with a  people, we make contact with all of them."

 

"I see," Lofar said sorrowfully. "This is a sad day for us, but we understand. Though, you understand then we cannot just give our technologies to you freely? I have the interests of my people at hand."

 

Jack just knew she was going to say that. Of course they wouldn't be walking away with any freebies. "Yeah, we know."

 

"Though, perhaps our peoples will be able to continue a discourse together? For a time when the warring days are over?"

 

"We'd like that a lot," Jack said sending her a smile, a genuine one.

 

"Then perhaps this day was not so sad after all," she said brightly. "Come with me. I shall show you back on your way."

 

Jack and SG-1 packed up and headed towards the exit. While Jack was unhappy that his trip through the Gate hadn't worked out as planned, he could at least report back to his superiors they might have a future ally. With some more trips and some negotiations, they might be able to tease out the truth on Aria, and figure out just what was going on here. When that day came, and if it turned out they could make a peaceful deal, then maybe the trip wouldn't come across as such a waste in the end.

 

"Your history is fascinating," he heard Daniel say to Ayi and Lofar. Then he paused. "I get to keep the book, right?"

 

Just about everyone in their party laughed at the request. "Yes," the queen said. "It is our gift to you."

 

They had begun their descent back down the stairs, when a young man gasping and struggling for air greeted them. When he finally caught his breath, he pointed vaguely to the west, his eyes wide.

 

"High Lofar, they have come! The day is here! They will take us this day!"

 

"It wasn't them," Jack said slowly, opening his eyes. He found Daniel leaning into him, holding him like a vice. "It never was them."

 

Daniel shook his head, confirming Jack's worst fears.

 

Removing Daniel from him, he slumped back into his seat. "Carter and Teal'c lied."

 

His old team, torn and splintered. Why would Carter and Teal'c lie to him? He could have bought the tale Carter told him over the phone, about wanting to protect them, about wanting to allow them to live without those painful memories plaguing their lives. But why would they lie about what happened?

 

Daniel would be leaving with them. This nightmare would start all over again.

 

"They lied. Son of a bitch. They lied," Jack muttered, glaring at the water.

 

Dejected, Daniel stared into the forest. Jack thought he looked a little green, and for the first time since Jack had started to visit Daniel, he noticed the younger man's eyes were sunken. Uneasy, Jack leaned forward, studying him more closely.

 

"No," Daniel told him, without breaking his distant gaze.

 

"No? What 'no?'"

 

"No," he said simply. "Liar."

 

Jack sighed, scrubbing at the back of his neck. "I know. Carter and Teal'c lied to us. And don't you know I'm going to rip them one once they get here."

 

"No."

 

Jack glared at him. "Daniel, they—"

 

"Liar. Lies." His voice was biting. Turning to Jack, he glared at him with an intensity he hadn't seen in this Daniel since the beginning of this ordeal. "You lie."

 

The accusation stung him down to his core, leaving Jack numb. The most coherent thing Daniel had said to him was laced with anger, pain, and fear.

 

It was aimed at him. Solely for him.

 

He didn't know what to say. Daniel had to be delusional. When had Jack ever lied to him? Recently, that is. He couldn't even remember what happened. He'd lost ten years of his life to some memory less vacuum.

 

How could this be his fault?

 

Jack tried not to get angry, but he couldn't help himself. Him? Lying to Daniel? Where did he get off thinking that?

 

Then again, Daniel could barely take care of himself, Jack told himself, biting down the worst of his irritation. Daniel didn't know what he was saying.

 

"Tired now," Daniel said at last, his tone full of defeat. He pulled his shaking hands close to his stomach, bending over so low he nearly lost his glasses. "So tired."

 

Maybe it was the lack of sleep that was affecting Daniel. Standing, Jack pushed back his chair and helped Daniel to his feet, slowly guiding him back towards the cabin. Jack ignored his own aches and pains, and the stiffness in his right side, concentrating on supporting Daniel as best he could.

 

"You know," Jack said after awhile, as he led Daniel into the bedroom. "You'd think a lot clearer if you'd just go to sleep like a normal person. This is what years of coffee addiction will do to a guy," he joked.

 

Daniel didn't laugh. He did allow Jack to help him into the bed, though, a sign to Jack that Daniel needed rest in the worst way. Stepping back, Jack couldn't help but think Daniel looked like he was beyond help, as he lay there curled up in a ball, lost among Jack's sheets.

 

"I'm going to put some dogs and burgers on the grill while you take a little nap," Jack told him, pulling the covers over Daniel's huddled body. He slipped off his glasses and put them on the nightstand. "We'll all be rested, have some grub, and talk things over when Teal'c and Carter get here." Jack forced a small smile, knowing what he was about to say was in fact a lie. "It'll be like old times."

 

He gave a quick reassuring pat to Daniel's covered leg and headed for the door. He paused when he heard Daniel's small voice call out to him.

 

"Stay," he whispered. "Stay."

 

Jack hesitated. There was desperation running through Daniel's trembling voice. He didn't know if that was the lack of sleep talking, confusion over being on medication and then abruptly stopping, or if Daniel had become accustomed to Jack's company.

 

"I'll be right outside. Call me if you need anything."

 

"Stay," Daniel said again. "Stay for Sam. Teal'c. Stay."

 

Jack didn't understand. "I'm right here, Daniel. Right outside."

 

"Promise."

 

"Okay, sure, I promise," he vowed, humoring Daniel. "I'll stay for Carter and Teal'c."

 

Daniel's gaze rolled to Jack. "Promise?"

 

"I said, yeah. Promise."

 

A soft but sad smile touched Daniel's lips. For the first time, Jack thought Daniel actually appeared to be at peace. Then, slowly he closed his eyes and drifted into slumber.

 

*     *     *     *

 

 

"All right, Daniel. Let's go!" Jack shouted from outside the bedroom. He rapped on the door twice. "Food's going to get cold."

 

Jack coughed, wiping his hands on a towel as he waited for Daniel to get his ass out of bed. Getting impatient, Jack called him again, realizing that this Daniel was as good at following his orders as the old one had been ten years ago. After a few more minutes, Jack had just about had it, and marched into the bedroom to rouse him.

 

"Get up," Jack told him, shaking him gently. "Let's go."

 

When Daniel didn't respond, Jack shook him more forcefully, determined to have him on his feet for when Teal'c and Carter arrived. He threw off the sheets, shaking him once more.

 

"Come on already, Daniel," Jack muttered. "Get up."

 

Jack laid a hand on Daniel's cheek only to withdraw it sharply.

 

He was cold.

 

Cold. Unnaturally cold.

 

Jack stumbled back, losing his composure as the reality hit him in the face. It only took him a second to regroup, and spur into action. He did his best to push down his fears and his doubts, propelling himself into military mode. Reaching out with shaking hands, Jack swept his palm in front of Daniel's parted lips. Feeling nothing, Jack cursed, and pushed his fingers into his neck, searching, praying for a pulse.

 

"Come on," Jack whispered, aggravated and terrified. "Daniel, come on."

 

His composure didn't last long. It couldn't. He wasn't young anymore, and the years of war and stress had taken its toll. He'd lost his family, so many of his friends. A soldier, battled hardened…that was who he was. Who he had been made to be. But now, ten years later, ten years of living in nothingness and lies, he couldn't take it.

 

Desperately, he fumbled around Daniel's neck, at his limp wrists, just looking for something, anything, even it was the faintest beat. He leaned closer, resting his head near Daniel's mouth and he continued to search.

 

"No, Daniel. Don't do this to me." Still nothing. No breath. No warmth. Nothing. "Dan. Daniel! Daniel, come on, now. Come on!" He shouted. "Breathe for me. Don't you die, Daniel. Get up!"

 

Jack stood, running his trembling hands through his hair. Twenty minutes. He'd left Daniel alone for twenty minutes. Was it another stroke? A heart attack? God, why did he bring him here in the first place?

 

He wasn't going to lose him. He couldn't accept what had happened.

 

Struggling against Daniel's weight, Jack attempted to roll the man onto his back. There was no time to call the paramedics and they were too far into the woodland for them to make a difference. Jack was going to have to do his best to remember the tenets of CPR and first aid that he'd learned years ago.

 

He needed a defibrillator.

 

Jack leaned over him, again trying to position Daniel so he could assist him. But instead Jack slipped, and fell to the floor, wrenching his back, and knocking the wind out himself. Even worse, he'd tangled himself with Daniel's cold limbs, bringing the man down on top of him. Jack groaned, feeling the pain throbbing on his right side as he lay immobile on the floor, trapped under the weight of his lifeless friend.

 

"Daniel," Jack said, struggling to keep his voice from crackling. "Just breathe, dammit. Breathe!"

 

He couldn't move. Daniel wasn't breathing. Daniel's heart had stopped. Daniel was gone, and Jack was powerless to help him, to revive him.

 

Jack cried out, calling for help, for anything. For it to be all a dream or a hallucination. Just anything to undo what was happening.

 

"Come on," Jack said, pushing against Daniel, determined to keep struggling, despite the weakness he felt in his limbs, and the pain flaring through his body. He ignored the blood pounding at his temples, and grunted as he tried to move Daniel to his side. "Daniel, get up! Dammit, listen to me! You're not dying here!"

 

As Jack fought to rise to his feet and untangle himself from Daniel, he froze, shocked to see the silhouette of a woman standing in the doorway to his bedroom. As recognition registered in his mind, Jack breathed a sigh of relief.

 

"Carter!" Thank God for Carter. "Daniel needs attention now."

 

"Sir!" she called back, rushing into the room.

 

Sir? Jack blinked at her, studying her with confusion as her image clarified and came into sharper focus. She was dressed in military fatigues, her hair short, her face lined with worry, but not with the baggage of a life gone wrong.

 

"Carter?"

 

Carter kneeled by his side, dropping her fingers to Daniel's neck. Her eyes widening, she snapped her head to her left and started yelling.

 

"I need a medical team over here! They’re here!" she shouted into the forest.

 

Forest? Jack turned his head, watching as the cabin melted and fragmented into splinters, revealing a forest of mixed browns, greens, yellows and reds, contrasting sharply with the pale blue gray sky that hovered over him.

 

"Carter…" he let his voice trail, feeling light.

 

"Stay with me, sir," she said, bringing him back to awareness. "I need you to stay with me."

 

Jack nodded, but found it hard to concentrate. Everyone was talking, all in hushed muted sounds. He felt as if he were on fire and freezing at the same time. The pounding wouldn't stop.

 

Daniel. He remembered Daniel.

 

"Daniel!" he shouted, struggling to sit up.

 

Carter held him in place. That was when Jack realized Teal'c was with them, and Daniel was no longer pressed onto his stomach. Somewhere, sometime, they'd peeled Daniel from him.

 

"Daniel?" he asked again, surveying the surrounding area.

 

"It's going to be, okay, sir," Carter said to him, her voice strong but soothing. "Just be still and let the doctor look at you."

 

There was a doc around, too? Sure enough, some guy, Jack couldn't recall his name, had moved to kneel beside Carter. His face looked haggard, and he spoke but no words came from his lips.

 

The doctor was shaking him, but Jack was too concerned with everything else. He saw Teal'c standing over him, some field medics buzzing to and fro like flies, but he couldn't find Daniel.

 

His head hurt. He couldn't think straight. Everything was fuzzy.

 

"O'Neill, you must keep still for the doctor to attend to you."

 

That was the last he'd heard from Teal'c. The Jaffa had moved into the group of medics, and for a moment, Jack thought he saw some of the Aria. Ayi was her name? She was hanging in the back, crying. She'd been crying.

 

Jack inhaled sharply, hissing at the doctor when he pressed his hand to Jack's right side. "It's been wrapped well," he commented. "He did a good job. This will make things easier. I need a stretcher over here!"

 

Wrapped up…what was he some kind of mummy? Strangely, he couldn't help but think back to the toy he'd given Daniel. How ironic.

 

Jack hissed again, feeling the doctor press on the wound again. "Hold still, General," he said to him.

 

The pain…

 

The sound of a volley of shots rang through the air, slicing through the serene crispness of the cool morning sky. Grunts, screams, and silence.

 

Daniel dropped to his knees. Blood flowed like a river.

 

Jack frowned, shivering as he felt the cool air flutter over his body. Still flashbacks? Was he creating another fantasy?

 

"We're going to take you back through the Gate, sir," Carter said to him, pronouncing her words slowly and deliberately. "Do you understand me?"

 

Jack nodded, wondering what the hell her problem was. Hallucination? Another dream?

 

Despite his affirmation that he understood them, Carter and the doctor exchanged a nervous glance, as if they were questioning his sanity. Again.

 

"We don't know how his mind was affected. We'll take all the precautions, Colonel."

 

"What the hell?" he snapped, swatting them away from him. "Get lost. I want to have a word with her." He pointed to Ayi. "They've been messing with us from the start. Where's Daniel? Go help him and leave me alone."

 

A small smile broke over Carter's face, but it was tempered with pain and worry as she kept stealing glances to somewhere over his left shoulder. "It's good to have you back, sir."

 

The intensity of the emotion in her features caused him to pause, his hand slowly making its way to his right side. There, he found the remnants of a sticky cloth, pressed hard and wrapped tightly to his side. He smelled of blood, vomit, and burnt flesh. He gagged, withdrawing his hand with shock.

 

Daniel dropped to his knees. Blood flowed like a river.

 

No, it was different…

 

Gasping, Daniel rushed to Jack's side, pressing his hand on his abdomen. Then, filled with rage, Daniel dropped to his knees, withdrawing his berretta, firing with brutal anger into the forested landscape. There was a sharp cry from the distance as the enemy fell, rolling down the hill. But not before…

 

Daniel yelped, stumbling back as the projectile embedded itself deep into his chest.

 

Blood flowed like a river.

 

Jack's…blood flowed like a river.

 

"Damn, I've been shot," he muttered with realization. He'd been shot. Staff blast. Again. "Dammit!"

 

Jack found himself panting, struggling against the soldiers that were trying to keep him in place as they waited for the stretcher. Carter had vanished along with Teal'c, leaving him alone with a bunch of young idiots, and the doctor he couldn't remember.

 

Pushing one of them away, a young woman who was blocking his view, he finally was able to spot Teal'c and Carter. They were to his left, huddled over…Daniel. Doctors, medics, everyone that wasn't with Jack were swarmed around him.

 

Carter shifted and Jack saw. Hell, Jack saw too much.

 

Daniel was laying there, flat on the ground, his blood soaked hands in direct contrast to the green grass under him.  One of his limp hands still rested on his radio. With lips parted, Daniel wore a haunted expression, his lifeless eyes staring straight at him.

 

Daniel…died.

 

Wet, dirty, covered in mud and vomit, and strangely pale, Daniel appeared to be only a shell of himself. Sad, sunken eyes stared back at Jack, only emphasizing Daniel's empty hollowed cheeks. If Jack hadn't known better, he would have thought Daniel had walked straight out of a zombie movie…

 

Dead.

 

Dead, with a small metallic sliver attached to his left temple.

 

Staring at Daniel with horror, Jack reached up and touched his own left temple, feeling the same object.

 

What had happened?

 

"Get the paddles!" one of the doctors shouted. "Stand back, here we go."

 

With morbid fascination, he watched as they worked on Daniel. Pumping hard, trying to revive him. He wanted to do something, to be there. He should be doing something.

 

"Get up," he whispered. "Get up."

 

Time seemed to slow, or stop. Jack didn't have much of a handle on time, his mind still foggy, his body throbbing with intensity. All he knew was that he was now being led away, removed farther and farther from Carter, Teal'c, and Daniel, as he was dragged back towards the Gate.

 

But despite the fact he was going home, and leaving death and destruction behind him, the stench followed him, trailed him back to Earth, and invaded the privacy of his dreams.

 

Chapter 13

 

 

The next time Jack opened his eyes, he wasn't on some alien planet. He wasn't at his home or at his cabin.

 

He found himself back at the USAF hospital.

 

Being in the hospital made him worry, his mind bringing up images of all that he and Daniel had gone through with the shrinks, and the aides, and the madness.

 

Then he remembered the planet, the people…

 

But he wasn't there. He was on Earth. He was safe. They were all safe. It had to be a dream…

 

Turning his head slowly, his gaze settled onto Carter. She was curled up on a chair by his bedside, pretending to be intrigued with the magazine she had in her possession. But Jack knew better. Her face was a battleground of worry, fear, and guilt.

 

"Carter," he managed to say, defying the dryness of his throat.

 

Her head shot up, her eyes brightening as she gazed at him. Tossing aside the magazine, she scooted her chair closer to him, taking his hand into her own. "Sir," she said happily, squeezing it.

 

Sir. Jack thought he'd never be so happy to hear that one word.

 

Happy. Really happy.

 

So happy, in fact, Jack didn't want to take his eyes off her. This was his Carter. This was the woman that was strong, capable and one of the best soldiers he could have under his command.

 

Carter didn't give up once her mind was set. She'd never give up on him.

 

It made him feel guilty over the delusion he'd been living…It was a delusion, right?

 

Jack studied her closely, suddenly doubtful that any of this was really happening. Maybe he was still on that planet. Maybe he was in a lab being dissected. Maybe he was drugged.

 

Jack eyed the IV suspiciously. Returning his gaze to Carter, he lifted his head and opened his mouth to try to speak, but she shook his head.

 

"Don't speak," she told him. "Just listen. I know you have a lot of questions."

 

He frowned, but obeyed, settling back down into the bed. He had a ton of questions to ask, but his mind was still too muddled to fully voice what was on his mind, especially when his thoughts left as soon as they entered him.

 

"Do you remember what happened on the planet?" she asked him, still holding onto his hand supportively.

 

Jack couldn't honestly say either way. He'd had flashes. He knew he'd been shot. Something happened to Daniel. They'd been escaping some castle and had been separated, he and Daniel ending up in some of the forested areas around the settlement. Then, it was weird. He'd been hallucinating? Something about ten years. Teal'c. Where did he go? Where was Daniel?

 

"Sir?" she asked, concerned.

 

Swallowing hard, he stared at her to let her know he was all right, and lifted his hand to wave it a little, telling her he only had limited understanding of what had happened. Carter understood.

 

"You ordered us to get to the Stargate, you remember that?"

 

Jack nodded. They had to get to the Gate. The Decreed or whoever were attacking.

 

"The Aria were under attack. At this time, we weren't sure whether they could be trusted. You ordered us back to the Gate. But, we came under fire half way there. You and Daniel were separated," she said sadly.

 

He remembered running. They'd been in the castle when the first shots had blasted the main castle. In the labs? Yeah, the labs. Daniel had dawdled, talking to that Ayi woman, but they'd left in the end. Running for the Gate.

 

"The Decreed were everywhere, sir." Carter ran her fingers through her hair and sighed. "They had gained access to some of the Aria's weapons and had even developed some of their own."

 

He remembered Lofar or someone talking about that. Damn, things were mucked up good.

 

He motioned with his hand for her to continue, impatient with her pacing.

 

She smiled sheepishly. "We made it to the Gate and brought reinforcements. I know you didn't want us to get involved militarily but…"

 

We don't leave our people behind, he finished for her, repeating the mantra in his head.

 

He nodded, letting her know she did the right thing. He could tell she felt guilty, that she somehow felt this scenario was something reflecting on her command capabilities.

 

He squeezed her hand in return, making sure she understood.

 

"We're lucky we found you when we did," she told him, her voice small.  "It…"

 

She never finished. He frowned.

 

"I know we can't talk about this now, sir, but I think we should reconsider our position with the Aria."

 

He raised his eyebrows, wondering where Carter was going with this line of reasoning. Sighing, she withdrew her hand, shoving her arms between her legs as she carefully considered her words.

 

"They sacrificed so much to get us home," she said quietly. "High Lofar did what she could before she..."

 

Reading her face, Jack realized just exactly what she was trying to tell him. Damn. He squeezed his eyes shut, running over what he could remember of the mission over and over in his mind. Could they have done better? Could they have done it differently?

 

"We think they saved you, sir."

 

He opened his eyes, his gaze falling to the two small slender devices in her hand. She rolled them over, exposing tiny metallic pricks on the underside.

 

"Hemmir?" he croaked.

 

She nodded again. "They're medical devices. They're used by the Aria to treat their patients. They're used in place of an anesthetic." She paused, closing her hand and pocketing the devices. "The doctors will keep monitoring you for any lasting affects. Ayi promised to tell us more, if we decide to enter negotiations with them."

 

There was always an "if." Always.

 

But she never told him why he had been wearing one. Just by glancing at Carter, he doubted she really knew either.

 

When he tried to remember, and tried to make sense of everything, all he could see were other images.

 

He remembered fighting. He remembered blood.

 

The sound of a volley of shots rang through the air, slicing through the serene crispness of the cool morning sky. Grunts, screams, and silence.

 

Satisfied, Jack did a quick survey of the area. He'd taken out all of their pursuers, as far as he could see. But there would be more. They had the advantage of knowing the terrain, whereas he and Daniel didn't. But if they could find a place to lay low, then maybe they could make it out of this alive.

 

That hope dashed immediately as Jack found another four of the enemy bearing down on them. Some had staff weapons. Others had what looked like dart throwers.

 

Jack and Daniel continued to run, knowing that they were entering deeper and deeper into the woodland. This next group seemed to be faster, closer.

 

He could feel them nearby. It would be close.

 

Another staff blast whizzed by his head, while yet another singed Daniel's arm. To his credit, Daniel did not cry out, and bit his lip, keeping as quiet as possible. But even now…

 

Jack turned to Daniel. Daniel turned to Jack. In that moment, they knew the end was at hand. At one time, Daniel might have held a flustered expression of panic, or shock, or even openness as he searched for Jack's guidance, but now, his eyes held the pain of their grim reality.

 

Daniel wasn't going to die here. Not today. Not on some alien world where no one would find them.

 

Aiming his P-90, he fired again, knocking out the four pursuers as they faced them down. Only, Jack was so determined on the four men that were charging through the forest, he missed the two that were aiming from the hilltop. Aiming for Daniel. Catching sight of them just in time, Jack pushed Daniel out of the way and fired.

 

He wasn't fast enough. Just as he fired and took out both of the men, one of them fired a staff weapon, and hit his mark well.

 

Grunting with pain, Jack fell to the ground. At least, he told himself, he'd spared Daniel.

 

Gasping, Daniel rushed to Jack's side, pressing his hand on his abdomen. Jack could feel the blood gushing from his side, the staff blast having only nicked him, barely cauterizing the wound.

 

The world was going hazy, foggy, but through his pain Jack saw that one of the fallen wasn't so dead after all. He fumbled for his P-90, but Daniel beat him to it.

 

Filled with rage, Daniel dropped to his knees, tossing aside his berretta and grabbed Jack's gun, firing with brutal anger into the forested landscape. There was a sharp cry from the distance as the final enemy fell, rolling down the hill. But not before he managed one last shot.

 

Daniel yelped, stumbling back as the dart embedded itself deep into his chest.

 

Daniel, he remembered. Where was Daniel?

 

Carter looked as if she would tell him more, when Pete walked into the room. Jack was surprised to see him, but had to admit he was touched by the concern even this man seemed to be holding. Passing a small wave to Jack, he handed Carter a cup of coffee with his other hand, and came to stand behind her.

 

Jack hadn't much time to appreciate Carter's presence or the support Pete was giving her. Not long after they walked through the door, a nurse came in the room, followed by another doctor Jack didn't recognize.

 

Just by the looks they were giving Carter and Pete, he knew that visiting time was over.

 

Teal'c? Daniel?

 

"Everything is going to be okay," she told him, forcing a smile. She reached over and squeezed him warmly. "I promise to tell you everything that I know. And Teal'c will, too. But the doctors need to keep your wound clean."

 

He didn't care about the damn wound. He wanted answers.

 

But before he could get them, Carter was ushered out of the room, and he was stuck back in doctorland.

 

Ironically, it happened to be the drugs pumping through his system that brought him the dreams, and the truth he'd been waiting for since the very beginning.

 

Daniel panted hard, dragging Jack through the forest, while attempting to keep himself upright, and keep the pressure on Jack's wound. The two of them stumbled over the underbrush, tripping and falling several times. But Daniel was driven, and relentless, never letting go of Jack, pushing him onward.

 

Finally, Jack could take the pain no more, and buckled. Daniel tried to drag him farther, but Daniel's own wounds proved to be too great. The two of them fell, alone, isolated in a foreign forest on an alien world.

 

Jack's breathing was haggard. He could feel the warmth leaving his body, his limbs going numb. He'd lost quite a bit of blood, and his mind was starting to shut down from the shock. He'd experienced a lot of pain, turmoil and torture over the years, but in the end he was only human, and could only endure so much.

 

This wasn't going to be his lucky day.

 

Moaning, his world fading in and out of black, Jack struggled to hold on longer, to keep his wits together. Through pockets of clarity and consciousness, he could see Daniel fighting his own battle. He was sweating, pale, the dart still unceremoniously jutting out of his chest.

 

There was more pressure on his side. Jack recognized Daniel was trying to halt the flow of blood, using what little strength he had to concentrate on Jack.

 

More blackness. More fading. He heard Daniel speak to him.

 

"Jack. Don't sleep, Jack."

 

Daniel, as if for the first time realizing he'd been shot, grabbed the dart and tossed it aside. Then, quickly, he shucked off his jacket and started to rip off his shirt. Jack could only stare, mesmerized by Daniel's blood soaked hands, and the purplish ring on his chest that had started to swell.

 

"Just stay with me, Jack," he demanded, grunting as he ripped his shirt into pieces. When he was finished, he slipped his jacket back over his goosepimply skin. "You're not dying, okay?"

 

Jack thought he nodded, but he couldn't tell. He knew the wound was bad; he felt the chills and the heat playing a nasty game of cat and mouse through him. He knew things weren't going to end well, even with Daniel dressing his wound. He knew he was slipping.

 

Then he saw the things. Hemmir? Those things from the medical labs.

 

Daniel started coughing. His sweat soaked hair clung to his head; his hands shook of their own accord. In his haste, he nearly dropped the devices he'd brought with him.

 

"I-I don't know if these will work on us," Daniel told him, offering a small smile as he clicked the piece into place. Jack felt a stinging, almost like the memory device, but the pain quickly faded and blended with the rest of the aching through his body. "It's possible that it doesn't work on human to human physiology the same way."

 

Daniel was hesitating. Jack could see as much even through his muddled vision. Daniel's strength was waning, and he looked tired, very tired. His trembling hands paused in front of his forehead, his eyes fearful but determined as his gaze centered on Jack.

 

"Can't sleep. Need a distraction," Daniel mumbled, holding onto the object tightly. "Need to focus. Listen to me. Stay with me, Jack. Stay."

 

With that, Daniel snapped the final piece to his forehead, and Jack found their world forever changed.

 

 

*     *     *     *

 

Later that evening, when Jack woke, he found himself staring into the darkness, upward toward the ceiling. If he'd been well, bored, he might have tried to do something useful. But now, he was just tired, weighed down with all that had happened on Aria.

 

Missions go right. Missions go wrong. That was life. That was the story of their lives.

 

SG-1 always had a record for defeating the odds. Hell, how many times had they saved the world? He'd started to lose count.

 

Now that he'd moved on, and SG-1 continued without him, they still defeated the odds and came out victorious. But he supposed that even the luckiest people, or even the luckiest man, had to run out of time at some point.

 

No one lives forever.

 

Jack had thought it was his time, that his luck had finally run out on him. It probably had if not for…

 

Damn him.

 

Jack wanted to be angry with him, but he couldn't. Daniel aggravated him to the very end, but Jack often found he enjoyed the irritation.

 

If that made any sense.

 

It didn't matter anymore. Though, part of Jack held onto the fact it was unbelievably difficult to kill Daniel, and just maybe Oma had taken some kind of perverted alien mercy on him. Daniel had a way with aliens, after all.

 

He laid like that for a long time, thinking about aliens, his friends, his life. He mulled over his past missions, back when he first joined the military, back to his life with Sara and Charlie, and then to his life after the first Abydos mission.

 

So much had changed. He started out as a protector for his family. Then a protector for his team. Now, he served as protector of the SGC, and Earth security itself.

 

Life was simpler back then. Jack didn't like to think these thoughts, preferring to shove it all aside, and get the job done. But there were times that even he couldn't fight all the thoughts that entered his mind.

 

He hated to be still.

 

The darkness began to lift slowly with the light of the new morning poking through the blinds behind him. It left a strange, ribbed affect throughout the room, lighting everything afire, like an Ancient light show. The soft glow passed over the bed, himself, the watercolor paintings on the wall, Daniel, the table, the…

 

Daniel?

 

He was hovering over him, a soft, shy, but sad smile touching his lips.

 

Jack lifted his head, making sure he wasn't dreaming. Nope, there was Daniel, waiting patiently for him to speak, his arms crossed over his chest as he cocked his head.

 

Go Oma.

 

"Daniel," Jack finally said, unable to tear his eyes off the deceased man.

 

"Hi, Jack."

 

He blinked. "You were dead."

 

"Yeah." Daniel pursed his lips, and shifted uncomfortably. "But only for a few minutes."

 

Only a few minutes? For crying' out loud…Wait.

 

"So…not glowy?" he asked.

 

"Noooo. Drugs, Jack," Daniel said, snapping his fingers in front of him. The sound made Jack jump, and jerked him back to reality, forcing him to watch. Daniel was sitting by his bedside, a book open and half read on his lap. "I'm seeing pink elephants myself," he joked.

 

This was not a joking matter and that said a lot coming from Jack. Frowning, he eased himself into a sitting position, eyeing Daniel carefully.

 

The man looked like crap. He was still pale, with dark circles around his eyes, circles so dark that not even his glasses could hide them. Jack even thought he saw a slight tremble to Daniel's hands as he closed the book in his lap. But by far, the most jarring thing for Jack was the fact Daniel was calmly sitting in a wheelchair.

 

He motioned to him, waving his head vaguely to the IV and the chair. "What's that?"

 

"It's a wheelchair."

 

"Don't be a smartass," Jack warned, but his voice betrayed him. He had to force himself to stay cool, even if he was glad that Daniel hadn't died died, or gone to Omaland.

 

"I still have some traces of poison in my blood," Daniel confided. "It's…temporary."

 

Oh. That would be a good reason.

 

"How?"

 

"How did they save me?" Daniel asked for him. Jack nodded. "Ayi, the woman in the castle, the one that helped us…you remember her, right? She had this long—"

 

Jack cut him off with a circular gesture, urging him to get to the point.

 

"Right. Well, the Aria had been developing anti-toxins to fight the weapons carried by the Decreed. She handed them over to the medical team that came through the Gate, if I recall correctly. That's what I've been told. I don't remember any of it, being dead at the time."

 

Jack scowled at him. Not funny.

 

"We actually got pretty lucky," Daniel said quietly, dropping his gaze to his fingers. "Sam and Teal'c had great timing. Another few minutes and we…

 

"Not we. You." After all these years, Jack could see through his game of words. "I was going to make it. Because of you."

 

Daniel didn't reply to that comment. Jack really hadn't expected him to try. He might hold a bit of arrogance when it came to his studies, and to all the knowledge he'd accumulated over time, but when it came to heroism or selfless acts, Daniel had trouble acknowledging them.

 

It irritated the hell out of him.

 

Jack smiled.

 

"You took a staff blast for me," Daniel said, his gaze moving to Jack's bandaged side. "I guess we're even now."

 

"Maybe," Jack said.

 

Not that he believed it. Just as Daniel would probably never feel enough is enough, neither would Jack. They'd never be even. Not the two of them, not even the four of them: he, Daniel, Teal'c, and Carter. It was a never-ending cycle.

 

But it was enough for Daniel, at least for now. He grew silent, bowing his head as his face depressed into a myriad of wrinkles.

 

Jack felt uneasy. He knew, just by the look on Daniel's face, they were about to stray into uncomfortable territory, that place Jack hated to visit.

 

Daniel couldn’t just let things be. He had to dig. He had to know. Even when Jack wanted answers, sometimes he knew when to stop. Now, after all these dreams or hallucinations were done, he had decided maybe he didn't want to know everything. He had enough answers. He was alive. Daniel was alive. Carter and Teal'c were alive. That is all he needed. He didn't want to dig anymore. Maybe a little lie or a fantasy was better than the truth.

 

What was important was that they were all alive. That's it.

 

"Jack," Daniel began, finally bringing his gaze to him. His eyes were intense, confused, and maybe even a little angry. "Why wouldn't you listen to me?"

 

The question that haunted his dreams within dreams, or more rightly so, his nightmares. Jack squirmed under Daniel's uncomfortable gaze, struck by the openness in his voice, trapped in a body that had been dragged through hell.

 

He didn't know.

 

"I…I tried. I tried, Jack. I tried to get through to you. I did whatever I could."

 

"What you did is go into my mind with those things," Jack said bitterly. "You went inside without my permission and you messed around with me."

 

Daniel narrowed his eyes, his cheeks flaring with color. "Well, I'm sorry, but I wasn't going to let you die."

 

"Besides the point." Jack knew he was losing this argument, but there was still the principle. The very principle of it.  "You went in and what? Made some twisted fantasy where I was nuts? You broke up SG-1." Jack couldn't begin to voice his outrage. He hadn't wanted to go this route. He hadn't wanted to bring this to the surface. But Daniel asked for it. "You made my life a misery, and you don't even give a damn about it. Look at Carter. Look at yourself, for cryin' out loud! That's what you want? That's what you thought would be an amusing distraction?"

 

Daniel shook his head, his eyes wide with fury. "You son of a bitch."

 

"You created this!" Jack shouted angrily.

 

"No," Daniel said back, his voice tight and even. "No. You created it. You."

 

The accusation threw Jack, and he blinked in shock, trying to process what Daniel had just told him. Was Daniel calling him a liar?

 

Then he remembered. Daniel had called him a liar in the hallucination. Angry, Jack laughed, scowling at Daniel. He ignored the pain in the other man's eyes, and the doubt that was starting to swell deep inside of him. No way. Never.

 

"Right. I'm lying there dying, and the first thing on my mind is to give myself more stress. I'm not the one that used the little screwy things in the first place."

 

"Of course," Daniel said in response. His face darkened as he pushed the wheelchair away from the bed.  "That was my plan all along. Why not? I've died so many times, what's another time? And while I'm at it, I'll just make up a fantasy where I've lost everything that's important to me."

 

"Drop the attitude, Daniel."

 

"No. You still won't listen to me. Not even now."

 

"Oh, I'm listening," Jack muttered. "But I don't like what you're saying."

 

"You don't have to like it." Daniel crossed his arms. "But it is what it is."

 

This was stupid. "So, you're saying that I wanted this fantasy? That I wanted to believe I'd been tortured? That I really wanted to walk out on everyone?"

 

"It wouldn't be the first time," Daniel muttered.

 

Low. Low blow. "Go to hell, Daniel," Jack snapped. "I didn't make up that whole nightmare."

 

Daniel sighed and dismissed Jack by glancing to the window. "Well, not all of it."

 

"Ah, you see? You just made my point."

 

"And mine."

 

"No." Jack winced from the pain as he moved to sit up straighter. "If I was going to play pretend, it would have been fun. Like fishing or something."

 

Daniel regarded him thoughtfully, his eyebrows raised, glaring at Jack in that knowing way of his.

 

Now, Jack didn't like what those eyebrows were implying. Not one bit.

 

"I tried, Jack. I thought of anything I possibly could that would make you happy or at least satisfied, so that we could communicate. You rejected all of it. This," he motioned between the two of them. "This is what you accepted."

 

"I'm not buying it, Daniel," Jack told him.

 

"It didn't work the way it should have," Daniel admitted.

 

Didn't work?

 

He bowed his head, taking off his glasses to pinch the bridge of his nose. Jack had always recognized that as one of Daniel's signs of stress. The reappearance of the action made Jack grow cold, made him reconsider the doubts that he'd shoved aside.

 

"For the empathic people of Aria, these devices create…" He pressed his lips together, searching for the right words. Jack always thought he paused too much for a linguist.  "Lucid dreaming, allowing the doctor to work with the patient, while the two of them converse and dream up a whole new place. But for us…" He stared directly at Jack. "It…didn't work."

 

Jack stifled the urge to counter with, "ya think," opting instead to allow Daniel to see this through to the end. It was obvious to Jack now that he needed it, and maybe they both did, whether Jack liked it or not.

 

Daniel slipped his glasses back onto his face. "I did what I could, with the limitations you gave me."

 

Dammit, Jack thought. Limitations? Was he the one that had been confining Daniel in his dream? Was it true? Was it Jack who had been lying to himself all the time? The conspiracy, the medication, the road blocks he'd hit ever step of the way…Was that him? He rubbed his hands over his weary face, listening to Daniel as he continued to explain their ordeal.

 

"I broke through when I could." His gaze turned sad, his voice changing as it wavered. "I left signs…"

 

"Signs," Jack muttered.

 

"I can't remember them all," Daniel admitted quietly. "My mind…I couldn't always treat your wound and keep your mind stable at the same time."

 

Jack blinked. Just what had Daniel been doing?

 

Instantly, he thought of those times when he'd gone to see Daniel at the hospital. Good days and bad days, they'd told him.

 

While we don't like it when he withdraws like that, sometimes it's because he's trying to work out something mentally.

 

Or physically, Jack realized.

 

Damn, so much began to make sense to him now. He thought about the hotel, and the ride to the cabin. He thought about both of their illnesses.

 

Jack had been dying. Daniel had been busy.

 

Shocked, Jack tried to think of any other time where Daniel had drifted off and entered his own little world. There were so many times.

 

Could there have been more?

 

Closing his eyes, Jack sifted through his memory, trying to think of all the times Daniel might have tried to communicate, but had been shut out. As Jack remembered, and dissected the "month" he'd been trying to piece together his life, he realized that any event, any item, any thought could have been Daniel finding a loophole and slipping clues into his mind. Daniel could have tried the obvious, when he spoke to him, coming to him as frightful hallucinations, or he could have been as subtle as leaving him a certain book, saying a certain word, or changing the structure of his dream to suit his needs.

 

Hell, Daniel could have been there, involved in everything. Every single thing.

 

Dammit. He'd tried. Never underestimate his crafty side.

 

"What else did you do?" Jack asked, shooting a wary look over at Daniel. "What signs?"

 

"I don't remember exactly," Daniel admitted. "But I never gave up," he added quietly.

 

Daniel had always been a fighter, even in death. He'd fought through Jack's delusions, even when he should have been caring for himself, or calling Carter, or…

 

"That was you," Jack realized again, thinking back to the cabin, to the hotel. "Talking to Carter. You were talking to her on the radio."

 

Daniel nodded slowly.

 

Not only had Daniel left him clues throughout the course of the dream, he'd also blended reality into it as well, hoping to snag Jack into semi-awareness of the situation in order for him to hold on longer.

 

Daniel had left him so many opportunities to try and break through the lies, lies he fabricated like a tale from his youth, and Jack had been blind to them.

 

"Dammit," he muttered. These revelations only scratched the surface. How knows what else Daniel had left for him, signs that he had missed.

 

The two of them were quiet. Jack didn't really know what to say next. He was outraged that Daniel had the gall to go into his head and poke around, but at the same time he recognized that Daniel's involvement, both mentally and physically, was what had kept Jack going long enough for Carter and Teal'c to reach them.

 

Jack hated this. Too much gray. Everything was easier when it was black and white.

 

"Jack," Daniel said slowly, hesitantly, refusing to meet his gaze. "The-the delusion we were a part of…Is that how you think of me?"

 

Jack groaned, resting his head against the pillows while he pressed the heels of his palms against his eyes. "No, Daniel, that's not how I think of you."

 

"Sam?" he asked. "Teal'c? Because if you see Sam that way she's going to be ticked off when—"

 

"Daniel," Jack warned, moving to catch a glimpse of him. "Not a word. I don't see Carter that way. No."

 

Jack didn't know why he'd created the delusion that way. If he knew, he would have never been a part of this stupid fantasy game from the start.

 

"I have a theory," Daniel said abruptly.

 

Of course Daniel had a theory. Jack was uncertain whether to throttle him because he wouldn't stop talking, or to just revel in the moment, knowing that Daniel was alive with a sound mind.

 

"You need to be needed," Daniel said simply. "You feel more at ease when you know people need you, either to care for them or to protect them."

 

Angry and annoyed, Jack turned to glare at him. "Daniel, that's by far the stupidest thing I've ever heard you say."

 

"I'm right though, aren't I?" Daniel said more than asked, his eyes dancing with confidence. "You're afraid you aren't needed anymore."

 

"No."

 

"I think so." Daniel smiled, basking in his arrogance. "And I don't think you even realize it."

 

"You know, now I am sure I liked you better when you couldn't talk," Jack blurted out, regretting his words before he'd even said them.

 

Daniel paused for a moment, some of the color leaving his already too pale cheeks, but to his credit, he brushed it off with dignity. "I know you don't mean that. And I know you know I'm right."

 

His patience was wearing thin. "Daniel…"

 

"You never deal with your emotions. You never have. You just bottle them up inside and they fester there until you snap, in one way or another."

 

"It's none of your business. What's in my head stays in my head," he said with a glare. What right did Daniel have to go poking around up there anyway? "I don't want to hear any pop psych from you, Daniel."

 

Daniel shook his head. "You can't just ignore it, Jack. You can't just push things and people away."

 

"Well, how would you like it?" Jack snapped. "How would like for me to tell you that you hide from people by burying yourself in your work? It doesn't take a genius to see that you study languages to try and communicate with people, but you're so scared of people walking out on you, that you force yourself to stay independent and keep everyone at arm's length. Add to that this unwarranted sense of guilt that you have and you're the perfect package."

 

With smoldering eyes, Daniel set his jaw. "That's not true."

 

Jack took pride in his statement. "Oh, you know it's true, don't you? You said yourself that I didn't make up the whole dream thing. So that means that you played a part in it."

 

"I didn't come here to argue, Jack.

 

"Changing topics, are we now?"

 

Daniel grunted, unlocking his wheelchair before heading for the door. Jack swore, cursing the weakness in his body from being shot.

 

"Hey, where do you think you're going? You're just proving my point!" Jack called after him.

 

"I'm going to get Teal'c," he replied tersely.

 

Teal'c…"Where the hell has he been hiding anyway?"

 

Daniel didn't turn around as he answered. "He went for a walk. He became upset the last time my heart stopped."

 

That was enough to make Jack's heart nearly stop. "Daniel," he said quietly.

 

When Daniel ignored him and continued on his merry way, Jack did the only thing he could think to do. He threw one of his pillows at Daniel.

 

The pillow smacked Daniel in the head, causing him to screech to a halt.

 

"What the hell's the matter with you?" Daniel asked, horrified as he bent over to pick up the pillow. "What are you, five? Did those devices suck out the last shred of intelligence you had?"

 

Jack smiled. He wasn't going to bother to reply. He knew Daniel didn't mean it. Besides, he wasn't man of words. He wasn't a man who could always voice what was on his mind. He was a man of action.

 

He threw another pillow, this time connecting with Daniel's face. Despite the softness of the pillow, the blow was enough to knock Daniel's glasses askew.

 

Jack had to chuckle at the sight.

 

This time, Daniel laughed, too. Not one of those pathetic wheezy laughs in Jack's dream fantasy, but a real, genuine laugh.

 

Sometimes that's all it takes.

 

Daniel started wheeling his way back to Jack, holding his pillows on his lap. When he reached the bed, he handed them to Jack, and settled back beside the bed. Daniel's face dropped its levity, and his expression became brooding, deeply troubled once again.

 

"You know…you know that no matter where you go, or what you do, whatever position you take, you'll always be needed. By us."

 

Jack knew. Though, he guessed that sometimes he still needed to feel it, to hear it, if not just briefly.

 

So, when Daniel went to speak again, Jack shook his head. There was no need for Daniel to say things to reassure him. He was a man of action, after all.

 

Squeezing him affectionately on the shoulder, Jack hoped he'd made his point. "I have an idea."

 

Daniel arched his eyebrows, intrigued. "An idea? You get those?"

 

Jack rolled his eyes. Motioning to Daniel's wheelchair, he grinned. "Can you get me one of those? We can go annoy some of the soldiers in the hallway and race to the cafeteria."

 

Daniel stared at him as if he'd lost his mind. Though Jack was no fool. He saw the sparkle in his friend's eyes.

 

"You know you want to do it," Jack teased.

 

"I'm not giving up my freedom to wheelchair races down the hall," Daniel said matter-of-fact. "Besides, I have something more fun."

 

"Oh?" Jack asked, skeptical. "Better than racing?"

 

Daniel nodded, wincing slightly, as he reached down and pulled out a box from under his wheelchair. A chess set. Amused, Jack watched as Daniel set up the board and started withdrawing the pieces. The first to make an appearance were a king and a knight.

 

Frowning, Jack eyed them carefully, finally beginning to understand, shocked to realize that deep down, Daniel was truly a man of action, too. Reaching out, he grabbed the two pieces, ran them over his calloused fingers and held them up to Daniel.

 

"Knight protects the King?"

 

A sly little smile spread across Daniel's lips. "Always."

 

Always, Jack repeated in his mind. He supposed that would work, and had always been the case in Daniel's own little way. In fact, all four of them had their own, unique ways. Just as long as the knight didn't get himself into trouble, Jack could handle it. Then again, that is where the king would come in and set things straight.

 

"Unless," Daniel started, bringing out more pieces, "he's protecting the Queen." His eyes gleamed with mischief. "But unless you dress in drag and have a hobby I don't know about, I think we're all set."

 

Jack glared at him, teasing him, as he put the two pieces down. "Cute."

 

Daniel's grin broadened. "I thought so."

 

"Hey, there you are." Carter admonished Daniel as she entered the room. Teal'c followed her, gently closing the door behind him. "Do you realize you nearly gave Doctor Wang a heart attack when he found you missing?"

 

"I left a note," Daniel said, placing the bishops on the board.

 

"It is not wise to anger Doctor Wang, Daniel Jackson," Teal'c warned. "He is most resourceful."

 

"I don't have this Doctor Wang, right?" Jack asked, with a half smile.

 

"You do not," Teal'c informed him. Was it just Jack or did Teal'c have a devilish gleam in his eyes? "You have Doctor Nichols."

 

"Much worse," Daniel mouthed to him.

 

Jack frowned. Peachy.

 

Both Carter and Teal'c approached the bed, Teal'c coming to stand by Jack's side while Carter hovered over Daniel. Glancing down, she motioned to the board.

 

"Chess?" Carter asked, stating the obvious.

 

"We're about to play." Jack pointed to some empty chairs. "Join us?"

 

"Okay, but I'm on Daniel's side," she said, slipping next to Daniel and wrapping an arm around his shoulder.

 

With a smile of his own, Teal'c nodded. "As am I."

 

"Hey, wait just a minute here," Jack muttered, feeling offended. He scowled at Carter, but turned most of his fury to Teal'c. "I can play just as well as Daniel."

 

There was a chorus of laughter from his old teammates, leaving nothing open for interpretation. Rolling his eyes, Jack just shrugged, but allowed a crooked smile to touch his lips.

 

So they set up the remaining chess pieces, the four of them, and enjoyed each other's company. Jokes, quips, and comments abounded, all leaving Jack feeling more alive than he'd felt in a long time.

 

Remaining behind, watching his former team go through the Stargate every day hurt him more than he realized, knowing that they could be in danger, or they could be having the time of their lives without him. He had the gray walls of the SGC, and the personnel that filed in and out on a regular basis, but it wasn't the same.

 

He longed for the old days, back when he was younger, when they were all younger, and hadn't become jaded.

 

He had learned to accept the change and knew the old days couldn't last forever. He would probably move on again, and Carter, Teal'c and Daniel would find new places in their lives.

 

Thinking back to the past few days, and what Daniel had done for him, what he'd done for Daniel, what Carter and Teal'c had done for the both of them, he knew that they were tighter than ever, and that distance couldn't break their bonds.

 

One thing would always remain and would never change. Their friendship would stay strong, for years to come, no matter where their journeys took them. The twisted, raw dream-fantasy that he and Daniel created would never come to pass. They would conquer their insecurities and their faults and come out better, stronger, wiser.

 

In the end, the four of them would remain a unit and nothing would ever change that.

 

Jack smiled, soaking in the content and happy faces of his one-time teammates, his long-time friends, his forever family.

 

Their lives wouldn't just amount to a dream or a fantasy.

 

This unity of theirs…this was the true reality.

 

And that was just fine.

 

THE END

 

Comments? Email feedback here

 

Return to Short Stories and Novels

 

Return to Scribal Traditions

 

Return to the Start Page