Title: Cooking With Teal'c
Author: Moonshayde
Season: Ten
Category: Gen, Humor
Spoilers: None
Pairing/Character: Teal'c and Vala friendship; team
Summary: Teal'c introduces Vala to The Food Network
Warnings: None – takes place early S10
Rating: PG
A/N: Birthday fic that I promised Aurora Novarum. Many
thanks to Dearjoanwallace and my other betas.
Disclaimer:
Stargate, Stargate SG-1 and all of its characters, titles, names, and
back-story are the property of MGM/UA, Double Secret Productions, Gekko
Productions, SciFi Channel, and Showtime/Viacom. All other characters, the
story idea and the story itself are the sole property of the author. This story
cannot be printed anywhere without the sole permission of the author. Realize this is for entertainment purposes
only; no financial gain or profit has been gained from this fiction. This story
is not meant to be an infringement on the rights of the above-mentioned
establishments
Vala lounged on Teal'c's bed
and watched him arrange a table with various odds and ends from the cabinet in
his room. Since they were in between missions and she wasn't allowed to have
her own place, she had nothing better to do than to watch Teal'c play with his
toys. Boring, dull toys.
She glanced at the stacks of
unlit candles and sighed. He needed a life as much as she did.
"You've been on this
planet long enough." Vala flipped through the pages of a magazine Sam had
given her. "Surely, they let you out."
"They do." He
continued to rummage through his cabinet.
"Then, let's do
something."
"I do not believe the
SGC will look favorably on allowing you off the base as of yet," he said.
She flopped on her back.
"You can take me."
There was a shift in the
mood in the room, one that caused Vala to raise her head. Teal'c stood in
silence.
"Do you not want to
take me?" she asked.
He turned his head, glancing
at her over his shoulder. "There are those that remain who do not believe
I should leave the SGC. And there are those that would prefer you to have a
more experienced escort."
Vala rolled her eyes. Two
aliens running around together in Colorado Springs should be the least of this
planet's worries.
"We've never been ones
to follow the rules," she said with a grin. "You. Me.
Champagne." Vala slid to the edge of the bed. "We could light this
boring town on fire."
"Of that, I am
certain."
She grinned and hopped off
the bed, preparing herself for a good time. She thought of the different
restaurants she had seen driving with Daniel and the nightclubs that were always
being promoted on the radio stations. This little town would never know what
hit it.
Vala just needed to freshen
up first. She grabbed her magazine and started for the doorway, pausing only
when she realized she didn't have any idea where they would be spending their
evening. "Where are we –?" Vala stopped, watching as Teal'c brought
out something shiny. "They let you have knives?"
"Indeed."
Well, that wasn't fair.
Teal'c had a cache of hidden weapons in his room and all she got were books.
Books. Old books that not even Daniel wanted, if that were even possible. Books
that didn't lead to anywhere.
She needed to remedy that
inequity immediately.
Vala reached out her hand.
"Help a girl out?"
"Watch and learn."
Vala shivered with
anticipation. Without another word, she grabbed one of his foldout chairs and
dragged it over to the table. She rubbed her hands together and whispered into
his ear, "Show me what you've got, Muscles."
And he did. He pulled out a
head of cabbage.
Vala stared. "That's not
exactly what I had in mind."
Teal'c grinned. He bent low,
opening a small refrigerator Vala had failed to detect when she'd first
arrived. In fact, under the table, she noticed a variety of portable cookware –
an item called a hot plate, a small grill, and a few other bits that she
couldn't identify.
Teal'c piled on the produce.
Her hopes of freedom disappeared as she watched Teal'c arrange everything
meticulously on the table. They weren't going anywhere.
She decided he definitely
needed to get out of the mountain more often.
"You know, I can think
of better ways to have fun."
He ignored her again,
reaching over to switch on the television he kept behind the table. The crude
Earth technology snapped to life, giving a less than impressive picture of a
little chubby man as he prepared some food in his elaborate kitchen.
Vala blew at a few stray
wisps of hair. If they were going to watch the television, Teal'c could have at
least tuned to the channel with the naked people that she'd found at Cameron Mitchell's
place.
"I know something more
exciting on the Internet," she whispered to Teal'c. As she rose, she
squeezed his shoulder. "We could slide into my room and –"
Teal'c took her by the
shoulder and sat her down. Vala huffed at the stern glare he gave her. She felt
a lecture coming on. Something about the Tau'ri this or the Tau'ri that and –
Teal'c tossed a pepper in
the air and swept upward, cleaving it in two. The pieces fell onto the table
with a thump. She stared at his triumphant face.
"Shall we begin, Vala
Mal Doran?"
Sam, Daniel, and Mitchell
sat at the empty commissary table in silence. Before them, sat three dishes,
prepared and garnished, followed by the two proud chefs that had prepared them.
Daniel scratched his chin and eyed Vala and Teal'c, who waited expectantly for
the verdict.
Daniel swallowed hard.
"Uh, which one of you made this?"
Mitchell leaned over and
spoke out of the side of his mouth. "Does it matter?"
"I heard that,"
Vala said with a scowl. She pushed the plate closer to Daniel. "I made
this one especially for you."
Daniel fought not to wince.
He slid the plate back. "It looks great but—"
Teal'c slid it back.
"You will eat."
Daniel didn't have a problem
with eating. Daniel liked to eat; however, he also preferred food that didn't
look like it was nuclear.
"That was nice of you
to call us in and cook for us," Sam said, the corners of her mouth
twitching as she eyed her plate.
Daniel had grown accustomed
to that look long ago. He'd first seen it at Janet's house years ago when
Cassie had tried her hand at cooking.
They'd ended up on stand
down for a week.
Teal'c just smiled at her
comment. "It is my pleasure, Colonel Carter." He clasped his hands
behind his back and waited.
Sam smiled uneasily before
turning her attention back to her food. She picked at her plate with her fork
and lifted up a bright vegetable. "Why is this red?"
"Vegetables can be
red," Vala said.
Sam stared. "It's
broccoli."
Vala shrugged.
"Flavor."
Red broccoli. That's all
Daniel needed to know. He stood to leave, but Teal'c's firm glare sent him back
to his seat. He knew none of them would be leaving until they ate something.
"You'll love it,"
Vala said. "We copied it from a cooking show."
Daniel arched his eyebrows
and glanced at Mitchell, who was smiling.
"Which cooking
show?" Sam asked.
Vala grinned.
"BAM!" She hit the table, nearly causing them to jump out their
seats.
Daniel exchanged another
uneasy look with Mitchell and then Sam. If they had at least used a cooking
show as a guide, maybe it wasn't as horrible as they thought.
"Oh, hell,"
Mitchell said. "It's stir-fry. It can't be that bad."
Famous last words, Daniel thought. After a long pause, the three
decided to give up and took a bite of their dinner.
Teal'c watched his friends
bolt from the table, running to the nearest washrooms. A few stray officers
eyed him and Vala with curiosity before they lost interest and exited the room.
Many on the base had long ago decided to leave Teal'c be.
Both he and Vala remained
silent as they waited patiently for their friends to return. The wait was
short. Within minutes, they reemerged with reddened noses and watering eyes.
"Is this payback?"
Mitchell demanded.
"Indeed."
"For what?" Daniel
asked. He wiped at his tongue and shuddered.
"That is what you get
for leaving us out," Vala said, holding her head high.
"We never leave you
out," Sam said.
"Yesterday.
Afternoon." Vala crossed her arms.
Daniel shook his head.
"I have no idea what you're talking about."
"As you were coming
into base, you failed to provide us refreshments," Teal'c said.
Mitchell laughed.
"You're mad at us because we stopped to get some coffee before we came to
work?"
"No, no," Daniel
narrowed his eyes. "There's more to this. They want something."
Teal'c grinned.
Vala and Teal'c clinked
their glasses. She took a sip of her champagne and dove into her meal.
She beamed as she chewed on
the grilled chicken. The food was fantastic – much better than the strange
combinations the little loud man on the television enjoyed. Though, she
supposed the food had promise as long as Teal'c left out the cayenne pepper.
Sighing with satisfaction,
Vala reached for her drink. No escorts. No mountain. No interruptions. Sam and
Cameron had made sure of it.
And Daniel had paid for it.
Vala smiled and held up the
glass. Teal'c's eyes gleamed as he did the same.
Just two aliens lighting up
the town. She couldn't think a better way to spend her evening. That is, until
the next cooking show.
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