[september third 2001]: well sorry it's been a while and i haven't been doing much, spent the last few days living in stony brook... going back to nyc tommorow for classed on tuesday. had some good discussions with people and cleared mind of things and still in a confused state about school and everything else. i can't wait to get back to nyc and converge is playing the fifteenth or sixteenth this month, and it's the only thing amusing to see coming up besides wesley willis at brownies. the weather is getting colder and along with that so are people. talking public transportation non-stop exposes you to the negative and unhappy people that polute new york, and probaly every where else. i need to do laundry and only have eleven dollars, and the train is twelve i think. so i can't affoard doing laundry, living out a small briefcase. i really must figure out what i am going to do throughout the rest of this year. and i really need to upload all the pictures to the site and whatnot. i barely find time and a place to work on anything. right now it is 4:47 in the morning and i just got back from eating diner at the stony brook hospital due to the lacking delis and grocery stores open at this hour. thank god people around here have cars once and a while, walking is terrible, and hitchhiking alot worse. well i'm gonna try to get some shit done. well respond soon.
[september sixth 2001]: ah it's so nice not having school each day of the week. i'm out in east hampton and got to sleep for most of the day befor a five hour skateboarding session at the basketball courts at springs school. there is never much there besides a ramp or two, but tons of kids pour out there everyday and there's some "energy". although it's much nicer skating at union square until three thirty in the morning. the crowd never disapears, theres always tons of people just having a good time and there is alot of skateable objects, the stairs, the handrails and the curbs and whatnot. even just a good game of skate. well it's about ten minutes till eight p.m. and it's another lame night out here in east hampton. i need to travel somewhere else or do something more interesting with my time when i am not in the city. i'm kinda psyched about the converge show at cbgb's on the sixteenth of this month, but there is another great show in brooklyn with party of helicopters, panthers, black dice, love life, song of zarathustra and so much more the same night. this really angers me, since there hasn't been anything worth while going on besides some crappy punk shows... so it's been skateboarding everynight for me. it's good though (1) i'm definetly getting back into a better physical shape (2) meeting good competition everynight (3) making some good friends. so you see it's a good thing. throughout high school i was always told stop doing that shit it's a waste of time... worry about school work. i couldn't be happier with the choices i made in the past dealing with schoolwork and skateboarding. damn this whole entry is pretty much based on this. let's see, well for some reason i am really looking into getting a relationship started. i have no clue why, past experiances i look apon make me laugh and come to the realization that it was bullshit, childish and a waste of time. but i think i need something, just gotta find the right person, eh? also i'm really getting into astral projection and OBE's.. out of body experiances. so far i have read two books on the subject and it's fucking fascinating. and i'm really getting into it and starting to practice the skills of relaxation. i mean leaving your body and looking down apon yourself HAS to be an amazing experiance. it's true though i mean you can loose your leg, and your still the same mind or soul as always. but a large part of your physical body is abandoned. i don't know about you but this is important to me, it helps those who are really scared of death, as i know how you feel. but you end up really thinking about the possibilitys of life after death and it's such a big subject i don't feel like covering anymore of it. but if anybody reading this is interested in the subject please message me, i can go on and on about such a thing. i'm looking into getting another tattoo and i think i found the answer, a old MCE design that amazes me... well we will see. goodnight.
[september seventh 2001]: well i know it hasn't been so long since the previous entry, hence it is only 2:55 in the morning and i cannot sleep nor can i focus on anything that doesn't distribute music. children of bodom and lots of energetic metal are continually paralizing my ears and i only fear sleeping through another day. a little alcohol in the system cannot ever be considered a bad thing nor hazardous to ones health. anyway this song is fucking amazing... entitled bed of roses. you can look for it if you'd like. well my diet is soley based on cereal and orange juice. this town is so boring it's not even a joke... i keep telling myself..."stay out for the weekend it might be more amusing than the weeknights since the only people really out here are still in high school..." i'm so tempted to just take the train back to nyc and go see a shitty punk show or some instrumental band. but i'll stay out... just to save train fare..yes... i just finished reading "The Anti-Aesthetic" essays on postmodern culture. it wasn't as interesting as i would have thought it to be but what can you do. forty eight cents and strand books. what an amazing book store, it has the largest selection of books and some amazing prices. on another subject... the weather is pretty impressive out here... not humid nor hot, alot nicer than in the city. skating in hot weather was the original reasonings for quiting on and off in the past... and in the city, if you take off your shirt and the wrong cops come around, you WILL get a ticket and it isn't cheap. i experianced this the other day when a cohort of mine was dealing with such a issue. ticket free atleast.. just a warning. at the banks it doesn't matter at all and your right next to one of the biggest police stations in manhattan. it's strange the way things work and how they differ around..this world. yes, i'm not sure i can say that since i have been confined and restricted to the united states pretty much so far my life. i am going to get my passport made this next week or so. i must travel italy or egypt, actualy anywhere watch out... i am coming your way. i really need to find some sort of new hobby, anything collecting stamps to yoga... i have to much spare time. maybe it's time to find another job. the wallet is shrinking and summer cash is slowely but surely dying. as is this summer heat, i cannot express how much this pleases me.. i can't stand it.. i don't like the summer at all... nor the winter but i prefer the winter anyday. but spring is the best season by far, i guess fall would equal it somehow. but as in the past i have always felt the spring is the best, i can recall a nice spring day... back in say seventh grade when victor g. and i had been riding bicycles most of the day and stopped and enjoyed the nice spring breeze... the warmth and the almost heaven like pleasant feeling you'd get from it. eh maybe it was just the chemicals from that nuclear power plant, the cancer slowely kicking into our immune systems and destroying our nervous system. last night on the discovery channel they had a program dedicated to the NASA failures of the past, damn there are so many failures. and also some program on drug abusers.. mainly cocaine addicts... seriosuly if you do such a drug, either stop now, or atleast come to the realization that you are a fucking loser that needs to seek help. i have no problem with marijuana.. no problem at all. it's nothing, it's a joke when people compare it to harsh drugs such as coke. but honestly i have always thought it is really really stupid, atleast do something impressive to gain whatever your trying to gain from use of such a drug. heroine. haha. i watched traffic the other night, the drug administrators daughter was freebasing heroine. bed this has some sort of signifigance, somehow... i wish there would be somebody online at this time of night, or morning to get into a conversation with. because all i feel like doing is writing and writing, and arguing. but such a task is truly hard to do when you are standing lonesome. ohh shit, download the song black widow as well. you'll continually stand in awe. ah well i think the alcohol is kicking in pretty hard right now and i'm going to try to go to sleep or atleast relax with the history or discovery channel present whilst this music is is playing. i never really read with music playing but it totaly affects it, you start reading with the pace or beat that the music withholds and it's really odd and i think it has upgraded my reading ability and speed. unlike any of those courses offered, forget that stuff.. buy a dimmu borgir album and you'll be set strait. anyway i must carry out with what i have said and relax.. maybe i'll get to have an out of body experiance as i have been wishing for and working for [OBE]... and for those whom are perverted, i see how you could think such a thing, ha.. but it is one of the first steps to becoming a psychic... as i am told through the books i have been reading. good night and godspeed.
[september eigth 2001]: well it is around 4:50 this saturday afternoon, didn't goto abc to see blood brothers and panthers... doens't matter though cause converge is playing the sixteenth as i have previously and constantly keep talking about. anyway nothing much has changed on this side of the keys. went out to montaulk last night with pat and geo, bought some diner at salivars, a unique twenty four seven diner that serves any food anytime. anyway woke up early this morning and bought some bagels and relaxed and also swam for a bit. then skateboarding at east hampton high school then over to bridgehampton national bank. couldn't really skate much. (a) my ankle is in severe pain and i cannot bare to land on it (b) i am exhausted from last night and fell asleep on the ground. right now i am just doing some laundry and basicly killing time until darkness strikes. ever see those fancy metal lighters given names like "The Pioneer" and "FIRE". well although they might look fancy and unbreakable...after certain use they just die out. about two days after the purchase and i even bought it in a store and not on the street. well i read one of the most amusing articles ever online...entitled "God Finally Gives Shout-Out Back To All His Niggaz" located at [ http://www.theonion.com/onion3731/god_gives_shout-out.html ], it's actualy one of the many great articles and writings on theonion.com... well anyway enough of this mindless talk. i'll write more soon...
[september ninth 2001]: well another amusing evening...nothing much occured but, although this evening.. i have seen many people in their true faces. judging them incorrectly and considering them stronger friends than they turn out to be. and it's so restricted out in east hampton. there is not much diversity and everybody is trying to impress one another. it's truly sad to see kids at partys make fools of themselfs to give a person considered more "important" in the high school chain. (which is complete bullshit). but yea, alcohol is used as such an excuse among so many. i belive every drunk person show's some truth within the hours of their unsoberness. i don't know where i should be, but i know i have to go back to the city.. and i will do such tommorow. i have had enough, i thought their was people out here who would want to share sometime and do something but it all comes to nothing at the final hours. it's 12:51 in the morning and again i am here doing nothing of importance. probaly going to put a little music on and lay back and get in some good discussions with some of the interesting and amusing people online at this time.. of course this means not one of them is present in east hampton. just found out there is something going on at ABC no rio this monday which is odd and i think i might just make an appearance. three in the afternoon is a greattime. my last class that day ends at noon so i'm definetly set. probaly also visit another classmate of mine from highschool, who is currently living in brookyln this year. it'll be good, i never see many familiar faces and it's great when i do. this is running on and on and pleasing just me so bare with it and let me continue. ah i have to write a paper for monday, i guess i'll do this later on today. my brain cannot function at the moment, many reasons. i do not sleep, which of course explains itself and what i have already covered.. seeing people in their true form and then hating them for it. or it may not be true form? could it be their form of the impressing factor which i stated befor as well. i guess i will never know, cause i have had enough and put way to much effort into one of the cases, the main one. probaly know who you are if your reading this. it may not be so ask eh? well this is probaly lame so i will quit while i am ahead, or merely happy with what i have wrote. good...um morning.
[september fifteenth 2001]: well it's been a few days and much has occured throughout them.. the world trade center has met it's match once again, through terrorism our country is in terror and struggle once again. my father works on the second floor and i didn't hear from him until later that afternoon and he was fine. and my current school is about two blocks away from the site of destruction. people are people's own worst enemy and we constantly are out to prove this and fucking each other over. most people who fight on this earth don't even understand the fundamentals and the ideas, that they are out to represent and protect. and we all know the united states government has done some really fucked up shit to other countries around the world and taken everything for granted without thinking of the reaction. and this is a huge one to an extent. but who know, i hope not.. but it's always possible for something worse to happen, war is something i bet the republicans are drooling over to save our economy from the last democrat whom help presidential office, who has done a better job than any of these other late presidents. there is so much pain and greif and everybody is out to help eachother and you can see such unity throughout the whole world, other countries playing our national anthem and tears flowing from point A to point B non-stop covering all areas. but it should'nt take a horrific event like this to get people to help eachother and always defend one another. it be such a great world and we wouldn't have to deal with this bullshit if such was a common practice. nothing much on my side of the mirror, my classes got canceled so tuesday i went up to white plains and visited Purchase University and got to hang out with some friends from high school and even befor then. and we took a train out to east hampton thursday mid-day and got back out here and have just been relaxing. i hope i get to goto that converge show at cbgb's sunday and will remember and catch a early train. otherwise everything is same old and i'm going to go back to sleep, hence it is 10:24 and i slept slim to none. adios.
[september sixteenth 2001]: well it's so nice being albe to get shit off your chest and i accomplished some of this tonight. or lastnight. never the less i feel better, just have to find out how it will effect me. and them. but anyway this world trade center thing is completly changing every person and event and it's so fucking terrible that this had to happen. it's 2:42 in the a.m. and i'm listening to some in/humanity at the moment, got the list on random and won't mess with it at all. ah necro - i need drugs just happened to pop up. i've seen alot of people poping drugs the last few days and damn you realize how fucking stupid it is. it's all make believe and false feelings and such a waste of money it's incredible people give up their lives for this shit. although i guess moderate and justified drug use can be alright in the right case. anyway i'm really tired and almost pulled an all night the night previous to this one. actualy went to a party tonight for 30 mins and only went because people are back from college and i got to see some faces, more aggrivating then enjoying. somebody was there that effected my life heavily this summer and probaly didn't even realize it was there. and kind of ignored me, but oh well. as i said prior to this something good came out of the evening to an extent. i'm going to apply to purchase and pratt tommorow to see what's going on. my school is canceled due to it's being within a two block radious of the world trade center. couoek towns over a few workers were attacked because of afghanistan roots. one was murdered. this is fucking terrible. i bet he was so fucking happy to be out of where he initally came from and in america. met the majority of immigrants love this country more than the people that have been here for a while. and of course we are all immigrants. whatever goodnight.
[september sixteenth 2001]: 6:00pm flat. no formal education until the first of october. going to go skateboarding this evening with a bunch of people and that's about it. sat at home all today and fixed up room and organized records. and that's about it for now.
[september twenty 2001]: good evening or better yet, late afternoon. i arrived in east hampton around four thirty in the morning after a train from stony brook to jamaica then back to east hampton. it took several hours of which i accomplished much reading and writing, and i also had a great soundtrack which consisted of a few cd's i put together a few day befor the train event. well it is around 5:06 at the moment and i just got home from a little skateboarding session which basicly was lame because of my lack of energy and spirit. tonight i am applying to suny stony brook and suny purchase for real. i'd rather goto purchase but i'll goto stony brook for a semester. i cannot apply to the arts department at purchase for second semester only for the first one, fall 2002. damn i'm getting older so fast. and i'm still young and i feel like a old man. everytime i am writing in here children of bodom comes up in random in the ol' mp3 player unit. nobody is online and time is flying by.... slowely. merely stumbling around, trying to affix the fan to a proper position in order to assure my body temperature maintains a purely cool artic feeling. it's so very cold at night and so torrid during the day hours. sunlight must disapear and moonlight should be within our eyesight for the most part. think about this, from a book i read last night on the train. our eyes are merely a peek hold into this whole world which we have created from all peak holes. there is so much, yet so little can be seen in a given time. argh. i wish i had the money to travel. even around the united states... i think this summer i'm going to get a rental car or van and just travel around for a month. it would be a great experiance i assume. goodday, i must sit and listen to music.
[september twenty-third 2001]: well it's almost ten p.m. and it's been an amusing weekend. first off i really saw people's true sides over the last few nights and it's effect on me is not suprising. of course it is not possitive, a few examples, one that really hurt. but oh well people are people, and people are creeps. i had a few great conversations with people that i usualy never spoke to much befor. a great midnight trip to stony brook occured on saturday evening and we drove back around three in the morning and it was awesome. had a little bit of a skatboard session going on sunday or today that is, really hurt up my arm, but in the end it was alot of fun. i purchased a few compact disc the other day which was a first in a while. intense metal and some fast paced jazz pretty much sum up the items. i'm kinda tired and honestly don't feel like typing much more so i'll write a little more detailed description tommorow. chow.
[september twenty-fifth 2001]: well it's another 3:11 in the morning venture and mental awakening with scott meyers. had a interesting day, skated fucking hardcore behind a firehouse befor the officials came, then played the axe for a few hours then went out and bought doritos... i must go get from car which i forgot and some orange-pinaple juice which is fucking brutal. had a good talk with a kid, become pretty good friends, chilling. the current soundtrack is...sleepyyime trio - onomatopoeia, it's pretty relaxing i guess... reading herman hesse - steppenwolf and it's prett sick so far, but not much going on besides that, going to boston wens., pretty psyched looking into buying a scanner so i can put tons of more pics up and whatnot. bal sagoth - spellcraft and moonfire just took over the winamp and it was never the less suprising and demonic. i can't wait for the metalenium show on oct. 4 (in the hear section) to come to ny, so many good bands. goodnight for now. ahem.
[september thirty...ith 2001]: well it's the last day of september and you know what that means...the first day of october is next. i had a pretty good closing few days prior to this. i took a east coast road trip and drove all around the north-east, mainly upstate new york, conneticut and boston. in boston i attended the "mayhem in kaiju big battle THE ATRIUM V" which hosted the kaiju wrestlers of course and also piebald opening the whole event up. it was pretty impressive and pretty fun. roamed around boston for a bit via legs alone. and also went on a drive around and totally got lost all around but everything always seems to workout in the driving world for me so it ended up alright. i took some pics and they shall be in the see section later on today, when a cohort sends them on over. had good conversations and saw good stuff so it was alot of fun. going back to the city today on another note after getting home now at 9:37 am. i'll probaly leave this late afternoon and i'm not to psyched, but classes do restart tommorow so i will have things to do, which is for the best, since i have done nothing the last few weeks really besides read and sleep. i'll probaly hit up the metallenium or however you spell it this wens. night in new york. keep an eye out. the weather looks like it's pretty much leaning towards showers this blessed sunday. it doesn't phase me much, but i'll have to take three transfers on the subway to avoid going outside and getting soaked with all my clothing and whatnot. wicked.