| AboutUs |
| THE STORY SO FAR... We're Agents DeLunTrash and Pink Loose China. We work for Celia. Celia owns CeliaSays. CeliaSays is an international organisation that quietly and consistantly works towards making the world a better place. We deal in anything and everything. There isn't a pie we don't have a finger in. We're currently based in St.Albans, Christchurch. Tom (Hanks that is) lives and works in the office with us. He makes the coffee and opens mail. And that's the jist of it. Read our articles to find out more. |
| STAFF PROFILES |
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| CELIA |
| BACKGROUND: Celia's world renowned "tough as old boots, with a soft gooey filing" personality no doubt stems back to her somewhat turbulant childhood. Celia was sold to the Kitty Pringle Institute for Child Research in Hampshire, England by her parents along with her nine siblings at the tender age of five, in order for her parents to fuel their brass monkey addiction. Celia escaped the Reseach centre at the age of eleven by knotting together hairs from her own head to form a rope and then smuggled herself aboard a pirate ship bound for Australia. Soon realising that a Pirate ship in the 1960's was no fit place for a young lady, she jumped overboard and swam to the nearest shore, New York. Celia spent the rest of her teenage years living on the harsh streets in the Bronx, where she pioneered the now legendary "dog in a box" lottery. The system involved Celia rounding up stray dogs, then securing each into a numbered cardboard box. Celia would then run a lottery system where rich passer-bys, for $50 would pick a number from a shoe, and the corresponding box, with a dog inside would be theirs to take home. By the age of twenty Celia was a millionaire. She moved to Sydney at 25 where she formed the CeliaSays organisation. And the rest, as they say, is history. POST CELIASAYS: Her mission at CeliaSays may be complete, but Celia's ongoing work towards charity and ploitics isn't. Celia plans to take a year or two off, to relax with her celebrity friends in her Bavarian castle just outside of Paris. She has just opened a Trade Aid store on the premesis. She has also recently taken up acting, and has been cast for a cameo appearance in Tom's new flick. Celia says that she is unsure of where her next project will lie, but whatever it is, we're sure to benefit from it. This is 'Time' magazines 1976 "person of the year", and the person named 'most influential and powerful in teh history of the world' by all major political journalists afterall! |
| Agent Pink Loose China and Tom to follow. |
| SECRET AGENT DELUNTRASH |
| BACKGROUND: Born in England, Agent DeLunTrash spent her childhood as a piano playing, tap-dancing prodigy. When she wasn't entertaining at royal galas, she was often found watching camp cult classics such as "the Sweeny", "Dukes of Hazzard" and her personal favourite. "the Professionals". At the age of ten DeLunTrash decided to follow her heart and follow her role-models, and become a spy-kid. Gaining the all time highest score in the entrance exam, DeLunTrash went to the MI5 acadamy in London at the tender age of twelve. Whilst training, she was sure to maintain her secret identity by pretending to be an actress and touring with the Royal Shakespeare Company for three years. Unfortionately this had to end when the tabloids got wind of her three year affair with Hugh Grant and she was forced back into the limelight. Luckliy she was graduating from spy acadamy anyway, so fled to Moscow, broken hearted, to begin a new life as a Secret Agent. Agent DeLunTrash found Moscow a new and excting place. The climate was cold enough to suit her coat collection, as well it being the perfect place for her to hide her ever growing obsession with wearing ridiculous vintage hats. (This obsession tipped her over the edge in 1999, and was forced to go into a much documented re-hab, which she's continually strugged to maintain). In 2001, an invite to join CeliaSays came into DeLunTrash's trophy and award lined office. It was the offer she was born to accept. That was the day that Russia and the British Monarchy lost it's greatest Secret Agent, but is was also the day that CeliaSays gained a daughter that would be part of the most remarkable team ever to walk this earth...and that includes the A-Team. POST CELIASAYS... Since the break-up of CeliaSays DeLunTrash suffered an unfortionate re-lapse in her ridiculous hat obsession. Tom booked her into re-hab in early 2003, but DeLunTrash conducted an elaborate escape plan involving three dozen bags of M&M's and a biography of the Pope (they forgot that she was a Secret Agent, and that she helped pen the original 'Worst Case Scenario' book series). She has since been seen touring the South Island horse racing circuit in a white mink beret. Close friends say that she is stable and considering opening the worlds first 'Canoe Cafe'. Her auiobiography is due out in time for Christmas. |