| Suburbia Superstars this month: Santa Claus!!! |
| Hello friends, Well, as my dear friend Kurt Cobain once said to me, "Tis' the season to be jolly, fa la la la la, la la la la" fa la la indeed. It's Christmas! Yeah! Therefore it seemed only right that our latest Suburbia Superstar be not only a credit to the community, but that they also have that aura of Christmas about them. I know what you're thinking, the obvious, hit you smack bang in the forehead with a frozen Turkey choice would be Mr. Palms, Simon Barnett, but as you know, we here at CeliaSays are a little obscure, and off the beaten track. No, we went for probably the second person you think of when you think of Christmas (sorry), that's right, our suburbia Superstar for December is the one the only Saint Nick, Santa Claus, or just plain old father Christmas. I hear your cries that Father Christmas is hardly a superstar of the Suburban scale. I don't care, the point of this article is to show-off that CeliaSays and Santa Claus are like this (*visualize fingers crossed, waving them about in front of your face, as one usually does in such situations*), and anyway, it's Christmas. We all know what marvels this guy pulls off every year, so there's no point in me going over it. Instead, I flew to the North Pole last Monday evening and caught up with this months Suburbia Superstar: Father Christmas. DeLunTrash: AS YOU MAY HAVE HEARD, YOU HAVE BEEN GIVEN THE VERY PRESTIGOUS TITLE OF DECEMBERS CELIASAYS SUBURBIA SUPERSTAR. HOW DOES IT FEEL? I'm honored WHILST RESEARCHING, I DISCOVERED THAT YOUR REAL NAME WAS ELTON JOHN, BEFORE CHANGING IT TO SANTA CLAUS IN 1958. SO AS FOR THE SINGER ELTON JOHN; SHEER COOINCIDENCE, OR SOMETHING MORE SINISTER? My mother named me Elton john after a kind old man who lived down the road from us when I was a boy and he'd give us tomatoes, sort of a tribute to him. The singer, Elton John also came from the same village. He picked up the name when I left he village and became Santa Claus. The name is like a legacy, once one boy gives up the name, the next in line inherits it. So it's neither coincidence, nor sinister. YOUR 1978 CHRISTMAS SINGLE "JOLLY JOLLY MR. MOUSE" CAME INTO THE CHARTS AT NUMBER 32, AND EARNED YOU A SPOT ON TOP OF THE POPS. WHAT DO YOU REMEMBER OF THIS OCCASION? I thought, this is it�I've made it, made into fame. It blew me back, I was speechless� DO YOU KNOW WHAT I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS? You want a Remains of the day lunchbox DO YOU KNOW WHAT BOB SAGET WANTS? He wants a sword and some nun chucks HOW ABOUT CHER? Black hair dye and a funny wooden goose ornament (This goes on for a number of minutes) SO WHAT DO YOU WANT FOR CHRISTMAS? An ant colony WHAT DO YO DO IN YOUR SPARE TIME? Train ants to obey my every command! APPARENTLY, YOU WERE AN EXTRA IN PETER JACKSONS LORD OF THE RINGS TRILOGY. WHAT DID YOU DO? I played a creature that peter Jackson thought up, it was sort of a wolf man crossed with a bigfoot, and I was going to be a really old one and peter Jackson was going to be my son. A FLY ON THE WALL DOCUMENTARY ABOUT YOU, MADE IN 1998 FOR A GERMAN TELEVISION CHANNEL WAS BANNED BEFORE IT WAS EVER SHOWN. WHY? It had dancing Muppets in it, it was utterly silly AND FINALLY, IMAGINE WE'RE IN A 1950'S AMERICAN MILK BAR, I'M SHOUTING YOU A MILKSHAKE. WHAT FLAVOUR DO YO WANT? White, so if it gets in my beard no one will notice YOU MEAN VANILLA? Yes. CHEERS SANTA. YOU ARE A TRUE SUBURBIA SUPERSTAR. MERRY CHRISTMAS! Merry Christmas to you too (Presents him with a certificate and shakes his hand) If you know of your own Suburbia Superstar, write to us at the usual address with the name of the person your nominating, why they should be on our site (no more than six words) along with the CeliaSays code word #356721 (to be found somewhere on this site), only then will we consider you. Abrazos! Agent DeLunTrash xxx |
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