| OFFENDED SKANK WROTE: Wassup, I'm a 15 year old chick and I think that I'm pretty much 'with it' and in the zone. I am always the heart of a party and my motto is go hard!. I am popular at school and have a big group of groovy guy and girl friends but, after finding this 'CeliaSays' site while surfing the net, I am thinkin if maybe I'm a skank. I have never thought of me that way but after reading your article I saw many things about me that you said are truely skanky. I am actually kinda worried cos I have been looking for a cute boyfriend for a while now and do you think that that no guy is looking for a skank, if that's what you think I am. I'll describe myself to you Dr. Phil so that you can tell me if I am a skank for real and if you reckon that I am then what I can do about it!. I am tall and thin with bright blonde hair with slight, but I think sexy, regrowth. My fave clothes are mainly white,tight and studded with diamante. I absolutely lurve white headbands and I am usually seen with either my bra strap or g-string showing. I didn't think I was doing nothing wrong until I read your article and it has gotten me totally wiggin, I dont no what to do about nuthin nomore! Should I change my style? Pleeze, I gotta get some advice Doctor Phil or I'm gonna end up skanky and alone!!!! What do I do??, Shontelle DR. PHIL REPLIED: Dear Shontelle, Thank you for writing in to me at Celiasays to try and confront your screamingly obvious problem. Many skanks out there don't even want to acknowledge their 'skankiness' which is, unfortunately, merely another symptom of the condition. You however have stepped forward and told it like it is, just as D.L.T. did for her readers at Celiasays. And for your honesty, I shall give honesty back to you. Yes Shontelle, you are a skank. And although I hate to say it, there isn't anything that even I, Dr. Phil, can do for you. People have been trying for years now to reverse the effects of lower socio-ecconomic skankism, a psychological plague that has been sweeping parts of New Zealand, causing young girls of 13-17 to fall into fits of skankiness. These are dark days Shontelle, and while I would love to assist you and show you the light, I doubt that there is any help for a case as far developed as yours. In the meantime try to forget that you read the article at Celiasays. Try to move on. Stick with your skanky friends and the skanky boys you hook into at parties. Emerse yourself in skankiness, for nothing, baring death, can free you from your skanked-up ways. As for the cute boyfriend... I have talked at length with agents P.L.C. and D.L.T. about what is considered a cute boyfriend and have come to the conclusion that skanks have far lower expectations in the department of cute boyfriend material. Hence it cannot be as hard for you to score some pimpley wee 'wigga' and drag him into your lair. I am deeply sorry that there is nothing more I can do to help you. Go with God. -Dr. Phil Cheers Phil. You've earnt your money this month. If youy have any concerns, dilemms, or quibbles with our advice, write to Dr.Phil. We guarantee he'll help. Go on! You know you want to. (HINT: you can make one up, we don't mind.) To the usual address please, but to make things simple, i'll even link it for you. CLICK HERE |
| HELP ME DR. PHIL! #3- Case of the Offended Skank (Yay, we have our first offended reader!) |