| A.B.S.U.P presents - LEGS ACROSS AMERICA 2003 |
| The Arnold Braithwaite Society for Unemployed Pickpockets (A.B.S.U.P) is proud to present the seventh annual " Legs Across America" day. If I were ask you if you knew of an unemployed Pickpocket. I'm sure that the majority of you would merely shrug and say no. Some of you, the ones we refer to as "little punks" may even make a cheap joke about Oliver Twist, the Artful Dodger or Fagan. Pickpockets are not a laughing matter. There are six million unemployed pickpockets living in the United Kingdom alone. Five million live in the United States, with two of these five being found in Iowa. Our estimates are that there are as many as fifty seven million unemployed pickpockets worldwide. The Arnold Braithwaite Society for Unemployed Pickpockets aims to get the pickpocket community back on its feet. For over 156 years we have been providing food, clothing, shelter and most importantly, love, to numerous pickpockets, setting them back on the path to employment. Our 86% success rate of rehabilitation is something that we are proud of. Pickpockets who have come to us in the past, jobless and hungry, and left rehabilitated include Matt Damon, Phil Gifford and the Beach Boys. For the past seven years our "Legs Across America" day has raised a total of $48 million dollars for A.B.S.U.P. In 2002's L.A.A Day, six million people from over fifty countries, including numerous celebrities as well as the CeliaSays team joined legs across the width of the U.S.A to send a message of hope to Pickpockets worldwide. As well as funds raised on the day, L.A.A muesli bars, baseball caps, and the charity single featuring Bono, Mariah Carey, Boy George and Foster and Allen, covering the song "You've got to Pick a Pocket or Two" from Lionel Bart's 'Oliver' raised a further three million dollars. So we're asking you to take part in the 2003 "Legs Across America" day on March the first, a twelve hour flight is all it takes. If you are not able to make it then please support us by purchasing our selected merchandise from participating stores. Or, just call 0800 LEG-USA to make an instant $25 donation. Kids ask your parents first. Thankyou for your ongoing patronage, Bobby.M Braithwaite (Chairman of the Arnold Braithwaite Society for Unemployed Pickpockets) |
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| Boy, do we get some crazy participants!!! |
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| It's notices like this, that give Pickopckets a bad name, enevitably leading to unemployment. |