| CHRISTMAS 2000 DeLunTrash recalls her first magical Christmas with CeliaSays. And what a Christmas it was... |
| Here we are again, another Christmas of another year. I just can�t help but reminisce about Christmas past though. Last Christmas was a great one, one that would go down in Christmas History. Christmas 2000 was my first as a member of Celia Says. <If this were a movie, the hazy mist would appear in front of the screen and the twinkly whirly sound would play, as we are transported back into time, back twelve months> Last Christmas was spent at Celia�s Bavarian castle just outside Paris. I say Bavarian Castle, because it is that, a true Bavarian castle, built in the mid 1600�s. Celia had it moved to Paris ten years ago as she thought it was more convenient location for the airports and railways, she also prefers the water in France, she says Bavarian water has too many minerals in it. Agent PLC and I had been working together for only two months, it was still early days in the Celia Says campus. We were all staying in the castle, myself, Pink Loose China, Celia and a few celebrities. I would name them, but you may mistake it as me gloating�oh go on then, there was Tom Hanks, Elton John, Bob Saget, David Copperfield (the magician, not the Charles Dickens character)Andrew Lloyd Webber, Charlotte Church, and Andie Spargo. It was a blast. Ha! Agent PLC and I arrived on Christmas Eve. We had just spent the last four weeks on the rainbow warrior on a job for Celia. But that�s another story. It was snowing. The journey there was a long one. Agent PLC and I were playing a healthy game of �Seagull in The Den�, I was winning. Not a bad achievement considering I was also driving. Sadly I had been that distracted by the intellectual intensity and hilarity of the game that I had got lost. We pulled into a BP service station (yes, they do have them in France) to ask for directions. At the service station we purchased the following: chewing gum, mince pies, a tin of custard, two kinder Eggs, a bottle of Sprite, a box of matches and a novelty Christmas pen with a plastic father Christmas on the end of it that lights up when you write. Oh, and we also got directions. The attendant was quite sick with jealousy when he learned that WE were spending Christmas with Celia, you can only guess what he did when I mentioned Bob Saget was also going to be there. Ha, I love doing that. So we arrived about seven hours late. PLC drove and I passed the time trying to assemble our kinder egg toys and attempting to sing all of the Twelve Days of Christmas without getting confused. Upon arrival, at about 9pm, we lugged our cases up to the front door in the snowstorm, and god we looked cool. We had purchased full-length woollen coats and big fur hats and mittens just for this occasion�anyway, we rang the bell and the butler answered, as butlers do. We never did catch what his name was, so we just called him Parker. As we walked into the entrance hall we could hear Elton on the Piano. He was playing �Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas� and Charlotte was singing along in the key of B minor. I love that song in B minor. Andie, or Hamish, as we like to call him rushed out to greet us, it�d been so long since we�d seen him. He poured us a drink, introduced us to the rest of the guests and showed us to our rooms. Ever the host is our Hamish (Andie, whatever). By the time we had unpacked and finished squealing over the free bath robe, shower cap and shampoo, everyone had gone to bed, well except for Bob, who was still sat by the bar. We were pretty knackered anyway, I mean, we had been driving for seventeen hours! And tomorrow was going to be a big day, yes, that�s right for tomorrow was Christmas day. <Cue church bells in Christmassy celebratory fashion, as it is now Christmas morn> I awoke at 6.30 to the sound of church bells. Tom was down in the kitchen cooking us an authentic all American breakfast. By the time I found my way downstairs it was 7.30 and everyone else was gathered around the tree. Oh it was exciting. Celia had left a note above the fireplace saying that we couldn�t open any of the presents under the tree before breakfast, but she had a special one for us all to share. Excitedly we ripped it open, all pushing using our elbows just wanting to catch a glimpse of what Celia had bought us. See, Celia has a reputation as the best present buyer there ever was. She always gets everyone the coolest things and exactly what they want. And her wrapping is to die for! And once again, the gift master has exceeded her reputation, the present was none other than �The Game Of Life�. Wicked bad! So while Tom finished cooking breakfast we all helped assemble board and the little counters. Charlotte lost one of the dice and cried, but David cheered her up by magicking up another one. Magicians are bloody handy people to have about the place. We ate breakfast, Tom rules at breakfast, then it was time for us all to put on our costumes. See, Celia wanted her first Christmas with us all to be a special one, so she made it fancy dress. We could dress as anyone we liked. Elton dressed as Daffy Duck and Bob dressed as Jesse from Full house, which was a tad unoriginal, but we had to give him credit, he had the hair down to a T. David dressed as Hulk Hogan and Tom was cool, he came as Woody from Toy Story! Andie was Flash Gordon, I was Raewyn Harvester (y�know, famous actress come tap dancer from the restoration period? 4 time Oscar winner? Oh come on people!) and PLC stole the show appearing as Boy George. Charlotte slightly put a dampener on it by refusing to dress up, so we called her mum who came to collect her and took her home. She was no fun anyway. After much laughter at the expense of each other Celia arrived!!!! But not just in plain old boring �walk down the stairs fashion� no. The door bell rang and we all went to answer it. We opened it to find Celia dressed in a very stylish tailored Gucci Santa outfit driving a sleigh with eight reindeers! Actual reindeers with antlers and everything! We all hugged and wished her merry Christmas, Parker took the reindeer off to the stables and Celia came inside. It was then, the party felt complete. We all opened presents, so many present we were going flat out until about 11, which if you know anything about Christmas is a pretty good thing, I mean, usually, if you start at 6.30, you�re done by eight. We got the coolest presents from Celia. We also did a secret Santa! I got Lloyd Webber. I bought him an Ape Candle from Christchurch�s very own Arts Centre. I got a copy of Elton Johns latest album from, well, I bet you can guess who. Which I thought was a bit cheap considering it�s kind of his album, and I�m not a massive fan of his new stuff, he knows that. But I must admit, track seven is quite catchy. We played the Game of Life. I think David won in the end, I dunno it was a long game complete with tears and tantrums. Andie and I got bored half an hour into it anyway and went off to play on the pinball machines. Celia has everything in her houses, they rule. At about 11.30 Jamie Oliver arrived to cook the Christmas feast. He owed Celia a favour from the last time he was in NZ. He brought Jules with him so it was all good. Then for the rest of the day we did allsorts. We had a lip sync competition, and karaoke, we built snowmen and sung carols around the piano. After dinner, we all sat in arm chars in front of the TV and fell asleep. Celia woke us at 6.00 because the rest of the guests for the massive party had arrived. And we had the most massive party. We had ice sculptures and the London Symphony Orchestra everything. At midnight there was a huge firework display and Celia gave a speech that brought us all to tears. Following that, Celia�s favourite singer, Tom Jones played a gig. After that it was very late and we were knackered. So we went to bed. We were a bit sad that Christmas day was over, but it didn�t matter for tomorrow was Boxing day and we were going to the races! Hehe, that was a funny day. <cue fog and twinkly music as we move back to the present day> So there we have it, Christmas day 2000. I made great friends over that stay at Celia�s. I received Christmas cards from all of the fellow guests�we saw Tom back in July when we were in the States on that oil job. And Andie, of course we see whenever we�re in Christchurch. I saw him last Friday actually. Married life is suiting him well. This Christmas will be very different, we are spending it in Christchurch. We have few guests staying, Dr. Phil is here, as is Celia�s nephew, Adrian. We also have a few local celebrities coming over for dinner. You can pop over too if you want. We've more than enough food, drink and good will to go around! Oh and a big congratulations to Maria Davis, from Hamilton who won our �Guess Who�s Coming to Dinner� competition, your Coffee mug and baseball cap are on their way to you right now. Oh, except you won't get it for a few days as there's no post over Christmas. But it'll b ethere soon. I promise. Okay, Celia wants me to go and recreate a snowy haven and a Santa Grotto in the back garden. Merry Christmas! -DeLunTrash xxx |