No matter how much Jesse tried he couldn't protect Paul from everything, besides Paul was supposed to be stronger than he was emotionally anyway. He couldn't stop the reporters from covering the gory details of the many recent murders of young hustlers, and there was no way that he could prevent Paul from seeing the reports. So he watched the news with his Childe instead of avoiding the issue.
The reports didn't seem to spare any viewer in the descriptions, but Paul didn't seem to have any reaction to what had happened. He looked at the screen blankly for a few moments before starting back to his own room.
Jesse followed him, "Do you want to talk about that Paul?" He came to a dead stop as Paul turned to him with empty eyes.
"Why?" He cut off whatever reply Jesse had and continued, "Because a few years ago I could have been one of those boys? Because I might have known them? Don't you think I alreay understand that?" He glanced down to the marble floor for a moment. "Do you think that I was spared this kind of thing when I was hustling? Suneyva protected us, but she couldn't save everyone. I was always aware that someone could hurt me."
Jesse took a step back as Paul advanced towards him. "But I thought...Don't you feel anything about this?"
"Why should I? The past is over with and I don't want to have to remember being a part of that world any longer." They both jumped as the front door was opened and slammed shut.
Glancing over the railing they saw Suneyva rush through to the small media room. As Jesse turned to go downstairs to see her Paul broke away and ran into his suite. Jesse looked at the door to his Childe's room briefly before shaking his head and going back to the first floor.
*
Paul locked his door behind himself and curled up in the small bed he sometimes used. He didn't want Jesse to feel sorry for him; he couldn't tell his Sire what he really felt about the boys who had been murdered and it was because he could have been one of them once. He hugged himself as a chill went down his spine and pulled a blanket closer around his body.
He didn't want to face Suneyva either; she was sure to be in a rage. The boys weren't "hers" but they were lost children in the city and she felt so strongly about all of the children of the night. He remembered how she was when he only knew her as the Norwegian and what her reaction to Tony's death was. By the time the police had found enough evidence to arrest the murderer he hadn't been able to tell the story. Paul was sure that Suneyva had gotten him before anyone else even knew who it was.
*
Julianna flinched as the glass vase shattered below the fireplace. If it went on for much longer they weren't going to have much left in the way of decor. She didn't really mind, but it sure messed up the floor and she enjoyed going barefoot. "Suneyva, are you sure you don't want to go outside to vent? Or maybe to talk about this?"
He Sire looked at her sharply, "Talk? And what is there to say?" Suneyva stopped for a moment and sing-songed, "Oh poor little children, too bad they were too stupid to get off the streets."
"Okay, that is what some authorities might say, but you know that not all police are like that. I'm sure that there are some very talented people working on this case, doing all they can to prevent other boys from becoming victims. Maybe instead of complaining about what is not being done you could go down to Illusions and the apartments and see what you can do to help the kids there? Maybe until they catch this bastard we could do something to try to get those children to stop hooking and to stay safe?"
Suneyva nodded, "Okay, you have a point, but what about all the others that I have no contact with? Who is going to look out for them?"
*
Suneyva stopped short as she reached the club. There was a tall man blocking the doorway and harassing her clientele. Her eyes narrowed as she studied his pockmarked face and finally after a third person walked away she strode purposefully forward.
"Excuse me, but you are blocking the entrance to my club. Please state the nature of your business and leave before I have to call the police." She folded her arms across her chest and leveled a cold glare at him.
"I'm sorry ma'am, I'm just trying to get some information about this boy. Have you seen him around here?" The man held out a worn photograph; the boy in the picture had a beautiful smile.
"I..." She paused and looked into the man's eyes for an instant, assessing. "Would you come inside? We need to talk." She escorted him into the building, her hand closing around his elbow. His eyes widened as she began to guide him, but he didn't say anything about her strength.
"Sit. We won't be disturbed up here." She held out a chair for him and when he was settled moved around the table. "Why are you looking for that boy?"
"Well, ma'am, I'm a private investigator and this is what I do. The boy, his name is Paul Lewandowski, had some trouble with his parents a few years ago. In fact they kicked him out. However, his parents have heard about the recent killings in the city and they are worried; decided that they had overreacted years before and want to know he's okay. He'd be almost twenty now so they can't make him come home, but they want him to know that they love him and that he's welcome to visit or to stay with them if he'd like."
"Okay, I can understand that. I know Paul, or at least I used to. He was a hustler around here until about a year ago. I might be able to find him for you, but he might not want to be found. Come back here in two nights and I'll let you know if he's still in Gothik, or what has happened to him."
*
"They want me back? I don't understand." Paul bit his lip and looked over to where Jesse was sitting. "I don't want them to know I'm here. They might get suspicious if I ever visited, and what if they decide to show up here? I don't want them to know anything; let them think I died. I just don't care." He shivered slightly and Jesse was at his side in a flash.
"I think that you do care, but I will tell the investigator what you wish. It may be better for them to think that you are dead now so that you don't have to fake a death later." Suneyva turned and left the room quietly; leaving the young men to talk the pain out. Paul may not have admitted anything verbally, but his posture and expression had given everything away.
*
"You shouldn't have done that. You ought to tell your parents that you're still alive, or rather that you aren't dead at least."
Paul looked up, his whole body jerking in startlement. "Tony?" He stared across the library at his friend, "But you died over a year ago."
Jesse touched his Childe's arm, "Paul? Are you okay?" He glanced arund the room quickly. "Ummm, in case you didn't notice, we're kind of the only ones in here. Who are yout talking to?"
Tony laughed, "Yeah, but I'm needed around here. I was told that you need my help; advice and stuff like that. And right now I'm telling you that you should talk to your parents. You need to close that part of your life."
Paul's eyes narrowed. "That part of my life is closed. It closed the day they kicked me out. They didn't want me, or love me, so why should I go see them and make them feel better about what they did? Let them think that I was murdered or that I died after being infected with AIDS. Let them feel guilty, I don't care anymore. I hate them." Tears came to his eyes and Jesse leaned a little closer.
"But they want you now and you're hurting them on purpose. Do they deserve that?" Tony stood, his form wavering in and out of focus.
"Yes, let them suffer like I did. Let them know what I had to do in order to survive after they threw me away. I don't want them to feel better, I want them to know that I had to sell myself and I want them to suffer as much as I did." He looked at Jesse for a moment, taking his Sire's hand when he saw how nervous Jesse was becoming.
Tony's voice cooled a little, "Then why don't you tell them yourself? Is revenge really what you want Paul? They are still your parents and they want to make up with you; they are willing to admitt that they made a mistake. Can't you forgive them? You know my opinion on this now and you should also know this; I never had this chance. My parents were told of my death and I saw how much it hurt them, how much they loved me. Don't do this to your parents when you have such an opportunity, You will always regret it if you mess this chance up." Tony faded a little more from view. "I think that you should see them," and then he was gone.
Paul turned to Jesse and was enclosed in his Sire's arms almost instantly. "Paul are you okay? I don't understand...who were you talking to? Was there someone there?"
He snorted, "I seem to have been adopted by a ghost. My friend Tony; he was killed a little more than a year ago by a john. He was just here. He wants me to talk to my parents while I have the chance...I don't know. I don't think that it's such a good idea." He looked up into Jesse's eyes.
"I think that you should see them also. To say goodbye at least. I hated my childhood, but I still wish that I could have said goodbye to my family. Do this now, it might help you heal." He kissed his Childe's forehead softly.
"Maybe, I just don't know yet. Let me think about it a little more."
*
To Part Two
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