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"You want to know what the truth is Jesse?" Paul shoved his Sire against the wall. "The truth is that all I am, or ever will be, is a whore. And all you can be is a victim. Ben is nothing and if he ever was, well it's gone now. Do you ever learn a lesson? Give up, Jesse. None of us really give a damn about the rest. You whine and complain and angst because it gives you something to fill your nights. Screw this, I'm not going to do it anymore."
Jesse's gaze steadied on his only Childe, "And what is this all supposed to mean, Paul? That you have seen the light and decided that we need enlightenment? Is this your shock treatment cure for our problems because it lacks a certain finesse. Your delivery really sucks."
"I don't give a damn anymore Jesse. I'm sick of this constant drama that you surround yourself with because every time you get involved with it you involve me in it and I can't live that way even in unlife. I hate your attitude of 'poor little me' and 'everyone hates me.' I'm beginning to hate you because you can't move past it. Your father has been dead for more than a century, for gods sake forgive him and move on! Grow up already, the eternal child is supposed to be my generation's problem and you are already one hundred and fifty years old."
Jesse shook himself out of Paul's grasp and crossed the room. "And you are such an expert about getting over your family problems? Excuse me, but I just have to say... whatever. Remember our fake funeral and the whole AIDS thing that you fed your parents just a year ago. You haven't forgiven them for kicking you out when you were sixteen, so don't lecture me about getting over the things family has done to ruin the mortal existence. I can go head to head with you on that topic. For that matter, I can go against you with the angsting. Or have you forgotten how Ben was brought into our little family."
"That isn't the same thing Jesse, and you know it. I lashed out; I have a temper and you shouldn't be able to forget it. I act, you sit and mope and lay blame. It gets old fast. At least I move on to a new issue each week." Paul let his glass fly across the room towards the elder Gangrel.
Ben ducked the rain of glass shards and shifted to the opposite side of the couch. "Um, guys, do we have to go through this right now? Or can I leave at least? Cause, like, while this is interesting I'd rather be doing something else. You can yell at each other any other night, I know cause you do. So shut up and let's go out already, okay?"
"Oh, don't care or anything Ben, I know it takes too much effort. Why don't you run off and fuck everyone you see... no wait, that's what you did last night." Paul exchanged another glare with Jesse, "Wouldn't want to get stuck in a rut, would you?"
Jesse grabbed Ben and yanked him upright. "Of course I wouldn't want him to blame me for stifling him either. Go, we don't need you here."
"We don't need him for anything, but that didn't prevent you from keeping him anyway. You felt guilty for some bullshit reason and decided that you had to take over his life for him to make it right. I was the one to screw up and you have to make some big scene over it. Hell, I wasn't even the one who messed his life up in the first place, that was old news. We don't need him Jesse, he is just a burden to us both and in the way." Paul snorted and took the boy from of Jesse's grasp. "If he were a puppy I'd put him to sleep."
Ben pulled against Paul's hold in a futile effort to escape. "Well, then I'm glad I'm not a puppy."
"No, you aren't nearly as useful as a helpless infant animal. If we didn't have to babysit you there are plenty of worthwhile things that we could be doing. I should have killed you when I had the chance."
Jesse looked Ben over intently before turning back to Paul. "And if I gave you that opportunity again, would you take it? If we don't need him, why keep him, right?" The young Kine was becoming more pale as Jesse continued to turn the conversation from its origins. "Just a snack, didn't you say that once Paul? Maybe one meal. Well, why don't you try? He was just a whore too, an abused kid on the streets like you were. Only he never had parents like you did because his got rid of him right away at birth. It isn't as if that makes any difference."
"No, it doesn't and why should we act as if it does, Jesse. I'm so sick of this little act that you and Suneyva have going. No one cares about these kids and if they are so stupid about staying on the streets and selling themselves why should we help them stay safe? What's in it for us? They are nothing, worth nothing." His hand tightened on Ben's lower arm as he spoke, pulling the boy closer to him. "I don't see any reason why I shouldn't take this one. I started to once and you stopped me, but he should have been mine all along."
Ben pulled against the vampire again, "Jesse?" He tried to turn in Paul's embrace to see where Jesse was, "Jesse?"
Jesse moved to sit on the couch behind his Childe and Ghoul. "Are you only going to talk about killing him or are you going to do it? I thought that you had places to go and all that. Just get it over with. I want to get back to our fight."
"Thank you, I think I will. He's starting to smell a bit tastier," Paul leaned into Ben, licking the boy's throat and breathing in deeply. "You know he's completely terrified. I think I like that." He laughed as Ben made several more attempts at freeing himself, "I wish he had a little more fight in him though."
Jesse licked his lips, "I think you broke him of that the last time. After all, it has never done him any good to fight."
"Yeah, but still... I want something more than fear. It just isn't enough anymore." Paul moved his attention back to Ben's throat, opening his mouth against the warm flesh. He suckled briefly, letting his tongue caress the tiny indents his teeth had caused. "Just a little more and his blood would be so delicious."
Ben closed his eyes and let his whole body go limp. "Jesse?" A muffled sob escaped and he suddenly found himself on the floor. Paul laughed sharply and kicked him before moving away, and Ben remained where he lay for a few moments before pushing himself up. He looked towards Jesse, who was impassive, and then to Paul, who seemed to be having a grand time laughing himself sick. Ben shook his head slowly, "Jesse, why?"
Jesse continued to stare at the young Kine. "Why not." He waited until the door slammed behind the fleeing boy before turning back to Paul. "I suppose you enjoyed that?"
"Of course. This is what our truth is Jesse. We are vampires, Kindred. We are monsters and you can't tell me that his fear didn't excite you in some way. If it didn't you would have stopped me. The truth is that he is nothing to you, as he is nothing to me and if it were any different you would be with him right now. All of your angst is a shadow of what you think you should feel. You don't want to be a monster so you lie to yourself. Tell yourself the truth Jesse and forget all of these lies about being a victim."
Jesse stood, pushing past his Childe. "I think that it is you who forgets Paul. You forget your place and all that you owe me. And perhaps that is something that you should tell yourself the truth about one night."
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