Changing Personalities

 

One day, Mimi, Sora, Tai, Izzy, Matt, T.K. and Joe were walking in Digiworld.  Their Digimon were stolen by Leomon so they didn’t have them.

“I am ever so tired and ever so hungry!” said Tai stupidly.

“Shut-up Tai!  We’re all hungry and if you hadn’t given all our food to Leomon we would be eating it right now!” said Matt angrily.

“I thought he would give us our Digimon back if we fed him.”

“Well, you were wrong!” said T.K. pulling a candy bar out of his backpack and biting it.

“T.K., you have food and you never told us?!” said Mimi.

“NO!  It’s mine!” said T.K. shoving it in his mouth. 

“Tai, go pick some berries!” Demanded Matt.

“Okay.” Said Tai as he ventured off into the woods to find some food.  All of a sudden Leomon appeared out of nowhere.

 “BWA HA HA HA HA!!  I have all your Digimon and I’m not giving them back.  But I will give you this piano!”  He disappeared.

“Why did Leomon give us a piano?” said Sora in an annoyed voice.

“Oooh!  I can play the piano!” said Mimi as she started banging on the keyboard.  All of a sudden there was a blinding light that knocked everyone out.  When everyone woke up they saw Leomon hovering above them.

“HA HA HA!  You have all been exposed to magical rays that will alter your personalities to the exact opposite to what they are now!  When I push this button, the change will take affect!”  Leomon pushed the red button.  There was another blinding light and Leomon was gone.  Joe pushed himself forward.

“COME BACK AND FIGHT LIKE A MAN YOU SCAREDY CAT!” he yelled at the spot where Leomon was while shaking his fist.

“Where’d the big, scary kitty go?” said Izzy with a confused expression on his face.

“EEEKK!!” shrieked Sora.

“What?!” yelled Matt in a concerned tone.

“I thought I saw a bug, but it was only a piece of yucky sand!”

“Oh, okay, good!” said Matt, relieved.

“It was just a grain of sand!” said Mimi in an annoyed voice.  “Nothing to get all worked up about!”

“Hey, T.K.!” said Matt.

“Shut-up or I’ll beat your face in!” snarled T.K.

“Oh, sorry.”  He looked around.   “Who can be my friend?”  He saw Izzy in the corner going into his backpack.

“Hey!” said Izzy pulling out his computer.  “Look at all the little pressy square thingies on this box thingy!”

“Hey Izzy!” said Matt.  No response.  “Izzy?” 

Izzy looked confused.  “Me?”

“Yeah you!  Can we SHARE your computer and become friends!  I’ll let you play my harmonica!”

“Harmonica?”

“Yeah, let’s trade!”  He handed Izzy the harmonica and he then grabbed the computer as Izzy marveled at the shiny metal instrument.  That was when Tai returned.

“Hi guys,” said Tai.

Matt jumped up.  “Tai, you’re back!  I’ve been waiting for so long!”

“I couldn’t find any berries.  Please don’t beat me up, Matt!” he said shielding his face.

“Whyever would I want to harm you?” said Matt.

“You always beat me up when I don’t do what you say.”

“Well, I won’t!” said Matt in a faggoty tone.

“But I will!” said T.K. punching his palm as he turned away from Joe who had insisted on having his machoness tested by having T.K. repeatedly punch him in the stomach.

“Where are you going?!” said Joe.  “Get back here and hit me in the ol’ bread basket!”

“Shut-up!  Don’t worry, I’ll be back.”

“Okay, T.K.” said Joe.  T.K. marched over to Joe and grabbed his collar and pulled him down.

“How many times do I have to tell you?  The name is, Butch!” he said.

“I’ll call you what I want!  If I want to call you…” He stopped because ‘Butch’ punched him in the face.

“Ow.” Said Joe as he passed out.

“Now, who do I have to beat up!?” said Butch.

“You’re not beating ANYONE up!  I won’t allow it!” said Matt standing in front of Butch.

“Get out of my way.” Butch said calmly.

“No, I refuse to let you harm a hair on Tai’s head!”  Butch shoved Matt out of the way and began beating up Tai.  “Well, I tried.” Said Matt to Izzy.  “And I certainly don’t won’t to get involved in their personal conflicts.”  Izzy stared blankly at him.  “Well, don’t you have anything to say?”

“Yeah.” Said Izzy.

“What?”  Silence.  “Are you going to say something?”

“Why would I say something?” said Izzy in a confused voice.

“Well, I just thought…oh never mind!” said Matt, smiling.

“I have a joke for you!” said Izzy suddenly.

“What is it?” said Matt, excitedly.

“What’s what?”

“Your joke.”

“Oh.  Why did the chicken cross the road?”

“Hmm, that’s a toughy.”  Matt rubbed his chin.  “I don’t know!  What’s the answer?”

“To what?” said Izzy.

“Your joke.”

“What joke?”

“Never mind!  I’ll tell YOU a joke!  Ahem.  Why did the chicken cross the road after looking both ways and checking to see that the walk signal was on?”  Izzy looked puzzled.

“Let’s not tell jokes anymore!”  Matt looked around to see Sora in a field of flowers.  “Who wants me to braid their hair with flowers?”  Matt skipped into the field of daisies and plunked himself down and began weaving flowers together while singing merrily to himself.  Mimi was dribbling a small rock in between her feet like a soccer ball.

“She shoots…she SCORES!!” she kicks it in between two trees.

“Mimi, you’re going to get dirty!” said Sora while Matt was braiding flowers into her hair.

“You have such nice hair, Sora.” Said Matt.

“Thank-you Matt.” Said Sora.  Butch was still beating up Tai.  Joe was still unconscious and Izzy was sticking blades of grass inside the harmonica holes.

“That’s not how you use a harmonica!” said Matt snatching the harmonica away from Izzy.

“I wasn’t using a harmonica!” said Izzy.

“Umm, okay.”  He continued braiding Sora’s hair.  Izzy looked around.  He was thinking about something.  (Which had to be pretty limited considering he had an I.Q. lower than 3.)  He saw Joe being beat up by Butch and decided that that looked like fun.  He walked over and tapped Butch on the shoulder.

“What are you doing?”

“What does it look like I’m doing?” said Butch in an annoyed tone.

“I don’t know.” Said Izzy.  “Are you…”

“I’M BEATIN’ UP ON JOE!!” he yelled impatiently.

“Cool.” Said Izzy blankly.  “Is it fun?”  Butch stopped his punching.

“If it wasn’t fun, why would I be doing it?”  Izzy didn’t say anything because he didn’t understand the question.  “Okay, let me put it in easy to understand words.  Me punch him!  It fun!”

“C’mon Butch!  Don’t stop!” said Joe.

“It’s FUN!?  Could you punch me?”

“Be glad to!”  Butch wound up and hit Izzy hard in the head.  Izzy didn’t flinch. 

“That was boring.  I’m leaving.”  He began walking away when he felt a sharp pain in his head.  “OW!  My head hurts!”  He began rubbing it as he went to sit under a tree while wondering why it hurt.

“There!” he heard Matt shout, standing up.  “All done.  Come to the lake so you can see your hair.  It’s my best work.”

“Why thank you!” Sora exclaimed as she stood up.  She and Matt walked down to the lake.  “Why, it’s beautiful!” she said as she started turning to get a better look at her hair.  “You should go professional.”

Matt blushed.  “Thank you, Sora,” he said.  “What about you?  What do you like to do?”  They continued with their conversation but Izzy didn’t understand any of the long words like, ‘polish’ and ‘dancing’.

He eventually gave up and walked over to Matt and Sora.  “My head hurts.” He told them.

“Oh my!” they shouted together as they bent down to his level and started inspecting his head.

“You have a huge bump right there.” Matt said, pointing to the bump.  He put his hands on his hips and said seriously, “Have you been fighting?  It’s a very dangerous thing to do.”

“Daneroos?” Izzy asked with a confused look on his face.

“You just have to watch out for Butch and Joe.” Sora explained, pointing to Butch and Joe.  “They like to do bad things.  You don’t want to get mixed up with their kind.”

“Uh, okay,” Izzy said, not fully understanding but avoiding a lecture.  He walked off back to his tree.

Matt sighed.  “If only my little brother and his friend could see the light,” he said with a frown.  “I know that they would be a kind, gentle boys.”

Sora sighed as well and nodded.  Then she got a determined look on her face.  “We can help them!” she said.  “Let’s teach them how to be nice.”

Matt looked shocked.  “Do you think we can pull it off?”

“Of course!” Sora answered as she looked back at the water.  “As long as we keep love and kindness in our hearts and not hate and revenge, we can do anything!”

“I agree!” Matt replied.  He looked around.  “We’ll made flower crowns for them.  That always sooths my mood when I’m feeling bad.”  Sora nodded as they both started picking the prettiest flowers they could find.

Meanwhile, Mimi was trying to get people to join in her soccer game.  So far, she had no luck.

“Soccer?  What’s soccer?” came Izzy’s answer.

“Not now, we are on an important mission!” Sora answered her.

“We must help my brother and his friend.” Matt replied.  “Perhaps afterward?”

“Don’t you see I’m busy?” Butch said to her.  “Buzz off!”

Joe didn’t even reply, he just yelled at Butch to punch harder and ~ahem~ lower.

She couldn’t find Tai.  “Tai!” she yelled.  “Tai, where are you?”

Tai came out of a bush.  “Right here, Mimi!” he said.

“Uh, Tai?” Mimi said.  “Did you know that you’re standing in poison ivy?”

Tai looked down at himself.  Red bumps were starting to form all over his body.  He screamed as he started scratching all the spots.

Matt looked up from his flower picking.  He gasped when he saw Tai rolling around on the ground.  He thrusted his flowers into Sora’s hands.  “Watch these for me,” he told her.  “I must help a friend in need!”

“You’re so brave!” Sora called after him as she watched him run off towards Tai.  She sighed a heavy sigh.   “Good luck.” She said quietly so that only she could hear.  She continued with the picking of the flowers and made a huge pile.  She watched Matt take Tai over to the lake, encouraging him and telling him how brave he was.  Tai got into the water and soaked himself until he couldn’t spread the poison ivy.  Matt triumphantly marched over towards Sora who was flattered.  “Weren’t you scared that you would get poison ivy too?”

“Of course I was!” Matt answered, taking a deep breath.  “But, I will risk my health to help a best friend.”

“We are all best friends.” Sora told him.

“Yes,” Matt replied instantly.  “Izzy, he is so simple minded.  He needs my help.  Butch, he is too tough.  He needs my help.  Joe, he is so…well… large.  He needs my…well…something, I don’t know what he needs from me.  ANYHOO!  Mimi, she is so addicted to sports.  She needs my help.  Tai, he is so weak.  He needs my help.”  He turned to Sora whose eyes were welled with tears.  “And you, you need to learn how to make a flower crown and I shall show you!”  They gathered up all their flowers and Matt took Sora through each step of making the crowns.

Izzy walked over awkwardly.  “Could I make those little thingys that you guys are making?” he asked, sitting down next to them.

“Of course!” they both yelled, clapping their hands together.

“Matt was just showing me how.” Sora said, patting Izzy on the knee.  She turned to Matt.  “Would it be all right with you if you started over so that Izzy would understand?”

“Certainly!” Matt said, handing some flowers to Izzy.  “First, you have to pluck all the stems off the flowers.  Make sure there are no thorns!  We don’t want anyone getting hurt!”

“What’s the stem?” Izzy asked, turning the flower around.  “What’s a thorn?  What’s a hurt?”

“The stem is the long, skinny green part coming out of the bottom.” Sora said happily.

“Which way is the bottom?” Izzy said, a confused look on his face.

“That one.” Sora answered, pointing to the bottom of the flower.

“Oh,” Izzy said, pulling on the stem.  His finger got caught on a thorn.  Matt and Sora gasped as Izzy didn’t seem to notice.

“Izzy…” Matt breathed.  “Izzy, you’re showing blood!”  Sora shuddered at the word, ‘blood’.

“Oh, so that’s what that red stuff is.” Izzy said, shrugging with a blank look on his face.  “What was the word again?”  Then his face turned to pain.  “Ow!  Why does my finger hurt?”

“Sora,” Matt said, grabbing Izzy’s finger.  “Hurry, get Joe’s first aid kit!”  Sora nodded and sprinted up to get Joe’s bag.  She gave it to Matt and blocked her eyes as Matt wrapped Izzy’s entire arm up in bandages.  Sora began to cry as she gave pity to Izzy who just sat there with a blank look on his face.

“You saved him!” Sora said through her tears as she hugged Matt around the waist.  “You’re my hero!”

“Oh, it was nothing.” Matt assured her.  “But we had better stop this dangerous activity before another person draws blood!”  Sora shuddered again.  “Oh, I apologize for repeating that cursed word!”

“I understand and I agree,” Sora said, nodding as she let go of Matt.  “We must figure out a different way to bring out the kindness in Butch and Joe!”

Matt put his hand on her shoulder and pointed to the sky.  “I swear on my life that those two will change!” he vowed.  “Or my name isn’t Matt!  Which it is.”

Izzy stared at them.  “I’m bored.” He said, standing up and leaving.

“Well, how do you like that,” Sora said, putting one hand on her hip.  “He didn’t even thank you or anything.”

“I need no thanks,” Matt answered, looking down at Sora.  “All I need to know is that I helped save a life.”

Sora sighed and put her head on Matt’s shoulder.

“So, you two wanna play NOW?” Mimi asked as she dribbled a rock through her feet without looking at it.

“Uh, I guess so.” Matt answered with a shrug.  “As long as there’s no cheating and we all follow the rules.”

“Whatever,” Mimi said turning around. 

“Do you want to play, Sora?” Matt asked.

“Certainly not,” Sora answered, crossing her arms.  “I might get dirty or break a nail.”

“I understand.” Matt said.  “I just didn’t want to be rude.”

Mimi looked back at Matt.  “Are you coming?”

“Be right there!” he answered as he followed her over to her makeshift playing field.

“Tai!” Mimi yelled.  “Joe, Butch!  Do you guys wanna play?”

“Soccer is too wimpy,” said Joe.  “How about football?”

“Football is a dangerous sport.” Matt scolded.  “I don’t know why people play it.”

“Whatever, Butch?” Mimi said.

“Only if I get to beat up the losing team.” Butch said, pounding one fist in his other palm.

“Then we don’t WANT you to play!” Matt said, crossing his arms.  “Violence is something we all should try to avoid.”

“Matt, shut-up.” Mimi said.  Matt looked shocked.

“You shouldn’t say those kinds of words.” Matt said, shaking his finger at her.

“What about you, Tai?” Mimi asked, ignoring Matt.

“Okay!” Tai said stupidly.  He skipped over and stood next to Mimi.

“Wait a minute,” Matt said, looking at the teams.  “The teams aren’t even.  See?  ONE-TWO-THREE!  Three is an odd number and that means one team will have one more player than the other.  That’s just not fair.”

“Tough.” Mimi and Tai said together.

“Let’s pick teams.” Mimi suggested.  “I’ll be captain.  Matt, you can be the other captain.”

“Oh goody!” Matt said.  Tai stood by himself.  “You can pick first, Mimi because ladies always go first.”

“I choose…” She pretended to think.  “Tai.”

“YAY!” Tai said, running over to Mimi’s side.  “I was picked first!”

“Hey, I don’t have a team mate.” Matt pointed out.

“Then I hope you can play soccer well.” Mimi said with a shrug.

“No, the game will not start until I get a team mate.” Matt said, stomping his foot.

“Fine!” Mimi grunted.  “You can have…” She looked at everyone else who were scattered around.  “Izzy.”  Matt looked at Izzy who was walking into his tree continuously not even flinching.

At the sound of his name, he looked up and walked over to them.  He made a funny face.  “My face hurts.” He said plainly.

“It hurts me too!” Tai said stupidly.

Matt put his hands on his hips.  “That was a cruel thing to say to our friend with the brain size of an Australopithecus.”

“And how was THAT nice?” Mimi asked.

“I simply stated the obvious.” Matt said.  “He knows that.  Right, Izzy?”

“What?” Izzy said.  Then he figured he had a 50/50 chance of getting the right answer of saying either yes or no.  “Toast.”

“Toast?” everyone said almost at the same time.

“Wow, for a minute there, we were all being a big, warm, happy family!” Matt said, clapping his hands.  “And to top it off, Izzy was thinking!  At least, I THINK he was thinking.  Heehee, that sounds funny.  I THINK he was THINKING.  Get it?”

“Yeah, whatever.” Mimi said, thinking not to take that conversation any farther then it already was.  “Let’s start the game.”

Matt turned to Izzy.  “Do you want to play offence, defense or goalie?” he asked him, bending down to his height.

Izzy just stared at him blankly.

“You can play defense.” Matt said.  “Go stand near the goal.”

“Where’s the goal?” Izzy asked.

“Between the two trees.”

‘All I have to do is stand there?’ Izzy thought, but not knowing how to ask it, he said instead,  “Birdies are stupid.”

“That’s not a nice thing to say,” Matt said, standing up and putting his hands on his hips.

“IZZY!” Tai and Mimi shouted from the other side.  “MATT!  Are you guys ready?”

“Yes, we are!” Matt answered.

“We’re gonna whop your butts!” Tai yelled.

Matt gasped.  “You said the ‘B-word’!” he yelled.  “Watch your mouth or I’ll have to clean it out with soap!”

“All right!  I’ll kick off!” said Mimi placing the ball that she swiped from T.K.’s backpack down in between her and Matt.

“Fine by me!” said Matt stepping backwards.   “Like I said before, ladies first!”

Mimi brought back her foot and let the ball fly.  It went past Matt, and right to Izzy’s feet. 

“Izzy!  Kick the ball up to me!” yelled Matt waving his arms in the air.

“Ball!” exclaimed Izzy excitedly as he picked up the ball.

“HAND BALL!” yelled Tai and Mimi at the same time.

“Oh dear!” said Matt.  “I forgot to explain to him the rules!”  Izzy began to walk away with his newfound toy when Mimi grabbed his shoulder.

“Give me the ball!  I get a free shot at goal!” she said holding out her hand to him.  The sentence was much to long for Izzy to comprehend so he just looked at her smiling while holding out the ball.

“Ball!” he repeated.

“Thank-you!” said Mimi as she snatched it from him.

“Hey.” Said Izzy but he soon forgot about it.  Matt walked over to him.

“I forgot to tell you, you’re not supposed to touch the ball with your hands!  It will get you a penalty!” he said, patting him on the shoulder.  “I know it wasn’t your fault, try hard to remember.”

Izzy thought for a minute, at a loss for anything to say.  “My mother likes applesauce.” He said finally.

Matt clapped his hands together.  “So do I!” he said.  “Do you?”

“Do I what?” Izzy asked with a confused look on his face.

“Do you like applesauce?” Matt replied patiently.

“What’s applesauce?”

Just then, Tai shot the ball and it bounced off Izzy’s head.  Everyone stared at Izzy as he didn’t react for almost three minutes.  “Ow,” he said finally.

All of a sudden, Sora wondered why she wasn’t out there playing soccer.  She stomped over and pushed Izzy out of the way.  He just tipped over and lied there.

“Sora, that wasn’t very nice.” Matt said, shaking his finger at Sora.  Sora just pushed Matt out of the way.  Matt was sent hurtling in the other direction. 

“Okay, I’m here to win and you two just stay out of the way!” Sora said as she stole the ball from Tai.

“Good, I’m not playing anymore!” Matt whined as he stomped off and began to cry.

“Come on, lower!” Joe yelled at Butch.

“No, I really don’t want to go any lower than this.” Butch answered uneasily.

“That’s the POINT!” Joe screamed.  “Hit ‘em where it hurts!”

“Uh, okay!” Butch answered, punching lower as hard as he could.

“OH, that hurt a little but I’m okay!” Joe said.  “Do it again!”  Butch did it again.  Joe winced.  “Again!” Butch punched as hard as he could and Joe crunched up into a little ball and started whimpering.  He then ran behind a tree and was never seen or heard from again.

Butch pounded one fist against the other.  “Now who am I gonna beat up?”  He turned to Matt who was crying with his head in his knees.  “No, that would be too easy.”  He looked at Izzy who was digging a hole with his mouth.  “No, that would be like punching a tree.”

“And I score again!” came Sora’s voice as the ball got past Tai for the twentieth time.

“Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha…” Butch said, inching over towards Sora.  When he was about two feet away, he stopped.  He turned around and walked the other way.

“Wow, Butch hasn’t punched anything in almost three minutes!” Matt said, prancing over to Butch and patting him on the head.  “He must be improving.”

“Uh, my name is T.K., not Butch.” T.K. said with a frown.  “I think you should know, Matt.”

“Oh, our plan has worked!” Matt exclaimed excitedly.  He turned around to Sora who was scoring her fortieth goal on Tai.  “Sora, our plan worked!  And Joe isn’t beating anyone up either!”

“Yup, I’m sure.” Sora said, not even looking at Matt.  Matt seemed satisfied as he turned back to T.K. who wasn’t there anymore.

“Little brother!” Matt yelled.  “Little brother!  Where did you wander off to?  It’s dangerous to be by yourself especially since there’s almost THREE more hours until it gets dark!”

Izzy took off his backpack and started to walk all over it.  There was a loud, ‘DING DONG DONG!’ from inside the backpack.  This frightened Izzy as he jumped away.  He eventually crawled back over and started hitting the backpack with a rock, attempting to open it.

Matt walked over.  “What are you doing?” he asked, looking over his shoulder.

“Doing what?” Izzy asked with a puzzled look on his face.

“Exactly, what are you doing?” Matt said.

“Who?”

“You.”  Matt showed no hint of an annoyed tone.

“Me?” said Izzy, pointing to himself.  Matt nodded excitedly.  “What?”

“What are you doing?” Matt repeated.

“Who?”

When Matt was just about to explain when Mimi walked over.  “Matt, we’re in the middle of a game and you just walked away!” she said angrily.

“I didn’t think I needed to play anymore because Sora was being mean and not following the rules.” Matt answered.

“You HAVE to!” Mimi said, putting her hands on her hips.

“But I don’t want to if Sora is not going to be a team player,” Matt said with a frown.

“Fine, I promise that Sora will follow the rules and pass you the ball from now on.” Mimi said with a sigh.  “Now will you play?”

“Okay!” Matt said happily.  They went back over to the playing field to see Tai nursing his bloody nose.  “Oh, Tai, are you all right?” Matt asked as he comforted Tai.

Tai sniffled and started to cry softly.  “I think so.” Tai answered quietly.

“GOOD!” Matt said.  “Now, let us all get back to our safe game and continue to follow the rules.”  He clapped his hands together.  “So, if we were to play fair, then someone who is GOOD at soccer, play on the same team as someone who doesn’t know too much about soccer.  Okay, let us pick teams fairly.”  He stood in a line next to Tai.  “You girls can be the captains because you are ladies and we should always give the ladies the advantage.”

“Uh, whatever.” Said Sora.  “I take…”

“Wait!” Matt said.

“What now?” Tai, Sora and Mimi said all at the same time.

“It’s not FAIR that Sora just picks without flipping a coin to see who picks first!” Matt explained.  He pulled a quarter out of his pocket.  “Heads, Mimi picks first and tails Sora picks first.”  He flipped the coin and looked at it.  “TAILS!  If you don’t believe me, look yourself!  Though, I would NEVER lie because lying is deceitful and dishonest.”

“That’s okay, we trust you.” Sora said, rolling her eyes.

“Tails, so SORA picks first.” Matt exclaimed, picking the quarter back up.  “Do any of you want this quarter?” he offered to everyone.

“SURE!” Tai said, taking it out of Matt’s hand and pocketing it.

“The proper thing to say would have been, ‘Yes please’.” Matt pointed out.  “Then after you say, ‘Thank you’.”

“Your welcome.” Tai said stupidly.

“OKAY!” Sora said loudly.  “I’ll take Tai.”  Tai happily skipped over to Sora’s side, excited that he had been picked first twice in one day.

“But I don’t WANT Matt!” Mimi groaned.  “Can’t I have Tai?”  This made Tai even happier and he grinned the stupidest grin possible.

“EW!” Sora said, pushing Tai.  “Stop smiling!”  She turned to Mimi.  “No, you get Matt.”

“You know, making fun of people because of their skill and/or personality is not a nice thing to do.” Matt said, shaking his finger at Mimi and Sora.  “It’s not nice to do in front of or behind their backs.  I think an apology is in order.”

“Just shut-up and let’s start the game!” Sora groaned.

Matt gasped.  “Sora,” he choked.  “You said the ‘S’-word!  That is a terrible swear!”  Just then, T.K. and Izzy walked over.  Actually, Izzy kinda wobbled over, falling down every once and a while so T.K. had to pick him back up.

“Can we play?” T.K. asked, holding Izzy straight.

“The proper thing to say in that situation would be ‘Will you kind ladies and gentleman let my friend and me join in your organized sports game as long as we promise not to cheat and to follow the rules’.” Matt said to T.K.  “Now, why don’t you try again?”

“Whatever.” T.K. said.

“Now we’ll have to pick teams ALLLLLL over again!” Tai said stupidly.  He secretly hoped that he would be picked first again.

“FINE!” Mimi whined.  “Let’s just get this over with so we can play!”

“Sora,” Matt said.  “Since you picked first last time, I think it is only fair that Mimi picks first this time.”

“Okay,” Mimi said.  “I take Tai.”  Tai felt the best as he attempted to flip over to Mimi but he fell on his face.  He stood up and walked calmly over to Mimi.

“I pick…” Sora said, glancing at Izzy, T.K. and Matt.  “T.K.”  T.K. stood over by Sora.

Mimi looked at Matt, then at Izzy.  She repeated this.  “Izzy,” she said reluctantly. 

“What?” Izzy said as he started looking around.  “Who said that?”

Matt smiled down at Izzy.  “Go stand over next to Mimi,” he told Izzy, pointing at Mimi.  Izzy walked over to Mimi, still looking around and wondering who had said his name.

“Fine, Matt, you’re on my team.” Sora said sadly.

“Oh, joy!” Matt said as if he was the first picked.  He skipped over to Sora humming, ‘Just a Spoonful of Sugar Helps the Medicine Go Down’.  “Okay, let me just make sure that the teams are fair.”  He looked at the teams.  “YUP!  Each team has at least ONE person who has experience.  Let us start the game!”

Sora took Matt and T.K. over on her side of the field.  “Matt, what do you want to play?” she asked Matt.

“I don’t mind!” Matt answered.  “I’ll take any position.  I’ll let you two pick what you want to be so you won’t get upset.”  Sora shook her head.  She turned to T.K. and asked him the same question.

“I’ll play defense or forward.” He answered.

“Well, I’M playing forward so you can play defense.” Sora told him.  She turned to Matt.  “You’re goalie and you better to a good job or else.”

“Are you threatening me?” Matt whimpered.

“Oh, he’s quick.” Sora said to T.K., pointing to Matt.

“Don’t make fun of my brother when he’s like this!” T.K. said angrily.  “You know that it’s all the piano’s fault!  You were JUST like him.”

“Oh, and you were normal?” Sora sneered.

Meanwhile, Mimi was forming a strategy with HER team.  “Okay, Tai, you play goalie.” She said, pointing to Tai.  “I’m forward.  Izzy, you play defense.  Izzy?  IZZY!”  Izzy was staring into space.  He slowly looked back at Mimi and pointed to himself.

“Me?” he said.

“Yuh!” Mimi said in the ‘DUH’ tone.  “You’re DEFENSE.  You know what that means?”

“What?”

“You guard the goalie.”

“What’s the goalie?”

“Tai.” Mimi answered, pointing to Tai.

“What about him?” Izzy asked, a little confused.

“He’s the goalie.” Mimi said, getting a little annoyed.

“Who?”

“WHATEVER!” Mimi said finally.  “Just stand here and don’t let the ball get by you.”  Mimi guided Izzy over to the spot he was supposed to stand in.  He looked up at her and smiled moronically.  “Stop that!” she said, backing away from him.

“Okay!” came Sora’s voice from the other side of the field.  “Let’s start!”

“Remember, no cheating!” came Matt’s voice.  “OW!”  Sora had smacked him.  “That was mean.” Matt said, rubbing his face.  “Violence is not the answer.  Try talking over your differences…OW!”  Sora had smacked him again.

“Okay, let’s get this over with!” Tai sighed.

The game started.  Sora got the kick off.  She dribbled past Mimi and started running down the field.

“Stop her!” Mimi yelled at Izzy.

“Stop who?” Izzy asked with a confused expression on his face as Sora easily got the ball past him.  She took a shot on Tai but he saved it.  Tai felt really special as he threw the ball out to Mimi.  Mimi received it and dribbled down the field.  When she came to T.K., she kicked the ball over his head and chased it.  She shot on goal.

“Geezums!” Matt shouted as he jumped out of the way.  It was a score.

“YAY!” Mimi yelled, doing a victory dance.

Sora stomped over to Matt who was still on the ground, shivering.  Matt looked up at her when she came over to him.  “Did you see how close that ball came to my head?” he said, standing up and brushing himself off.  “I’m glad I have quick reflexes.”  He smiled.

Sora looked angrily at Matt.  “You’re SUPPOSED to get in the way of the ball so it wouldn’t go in the goal!” she told him.

Matt made a grumbling noise.  “That would hurt,” he complained.  “I’m not very good with pain.”

Sora gave up.  “Fine, I’LL play goalie and YOU play forward.” She said reluctantly.

“Are you all right with that?” Matt asked.

“Yeah,” Sora said as she shoved Matt up to forward.

Matt turned around at her.  “Normally,” he said.  “I would scold you for pushing but since you made such a sacrifice, I will give you a second chance.”

“Yeah, whatever,” Sora said, getting ready.

Matt turned to Mimi and saluted her.  “Good luck, friend!” he said.  “I want a good, clean game.  No pushing, hitting or kicking.  Follow the rules and no cheating.  Ready?”  He kicked the ball behind him to T.K.  T.K. kicked the ball up near the net.  It would have been perfect for Matt to head the ball in but he put his hands up in front of his face.

“HAND BALL!” Tai screamed at the top of his lungs.  Matt shrugged as Mimi took the kick.  It was kicked all the way up the goal and Sora scooped it up.  She looked at Matt who was wide open.  She threw it to his chest and the ball knocked him over.

“OW!” Matt shrieked, falling to the ground.  He started whimpering.

T.K. ran over.  “You okay Matt?” he asked.  Matt nodded weakly.  T.K. turned to Sora and Mimi.  “Shouldn’t we get a free kick or something?” he asked as Matt stood back up.

“Yes!” yelled Sora.

“No!” yelled Mimi.  Sora and Mimi exchanged evil glances.  “Fine, but Matt has to take it.”

“No, let me take it!” Sora said.

“It’s either Matt takes it or nothing!” Mimi said, crossing her arms.

“FINE!” Sora grumbled.  “T.K., get open in an easy spot so Matt can kick it to you.”  T.K. stood in front of the goal.

“Okay,” Matt said, taking a deep breath.  “I’m not good at this sort of thing!”  He backed up four paces, took a running start and kicked the ball.  Actually, he MISSED it and fell down on his face.  “OW!” he yelled, rubbing his cheek.  Mimi ran up and kicked the ball past him, dribbled up and took a shot on Sora.  Sora saved at and threw it out to T.K.  “Geezums, that ground is hard!” Matt said, kicking the ground.  “There’s also a lot of dirt.  Now all my clothes are dirty.”  He turned to everyone else.  “How about we all go for a swim to cleanse ourselves?”

“How about we DON’T?” Mimi sneered.  T.K. dribbled the ball right past Izzy, (who was sitting on the ground and picking up dirt and dumping it on his head) took a shot and scored!

“YAY!” T.K. yelled, dancing around happily.

“Okay, let’s go!” Mimi said, now that they were tied.  “We all need baths!  Especially TAI!”

Tai swatted a fly that was buzzing around in his face away.  “I do not smell!” he said.

“Let us go down to the water!” Matt said as he pranced down to the beach.  “Remember, no splashing, holding heads underwater, throwing rocks, picking up sand…” He looked over at Tai who was holding Izzy’s head underwater while splashing T.K., throwing rocks at Mimi and dumping sand on Sora’s head.  “No, no, no!” Matt yelled, grabbing Tai’s wrists.  “Follow the rules so we all can have a pleasant time!”

Tai looked offended.  “I’M having a pleasant time!” he said.  “And that’s all that matters!”

“No, that’s not nice!” Matt protested.  “True friends would care for their friends’ feelings!”

“Well,” Tai said stupidly.  “Not only am I not a true friend, but you guys aren’t my friends!”

Matt gasped.  “Well, that’s certainly obvious!” he said.  Tai turned around and started playing in the water again.  “Be careful and don’t go in water over your head!” Matt called after him.

“Hey, let go of me!” came Izzy’s voice.  Matt walked over.  There was no one there except for him and Izzy.  “Tai, I can’t breath, let go!”

“Tai left a long time ago!” Matt told him.

“Tai?” Izzy asked, confused.

Matt smiled and showed no hint of being annoyed.  “Tai…well…I can’t pronounce his last name but how many Tais do you know?”  He laughed warmly as he skipped off, leaving Izzy there to wonder how many Tais he actually DID know.

“I don’t know any Tais.” Izzy said.

“Are you sure?” Matt asked as he looked back at Izzy.

“Sure of what?” Izzy asked.

“Sure that you don’t know any Tais.” Matt answered, not annoyed the least bit.

“Tai who?”

“I told you, I can’t pronounce his last name.”

“Whose?”

“Tai’s.”

“Tai who?”

“If you want me to repeat myself…” Matt and Izzy continued with the circle conversation in the background.

“I’m bored with swimming!” Mimi called, getting out of the water.

Matt turned to her.  “As long as you’re clean you can come out but if you’re still dirty then you have to stay in longer!” he said.  “Besides, taking a bath doesn’t HAVE to be fun!”

“Shut-up!” Tai yelled at him.

“Don’t say the ‘S’ word!” gasped Matt.  “That’s a very bad swear!”

“Shut-up, shut-up, shut-up, shut-up, shut-up, shut-up, shut-up!!” Tai taunted just to annoy Matt.

“Stop it!” Matt said, covering his ears.  “I can’t hear your taunts!”

“Well,” Tai said stupidly.  “At least I have a life!”

“I am rubber, you are glue, whatever you say bounces off of me and sticks to you!” Matt said with a frown.

“Okay,” Tai said.  “You are so great!”  He made a ‘WHOOSH” sound as he pointed at Matt and then pointed to himself.  “I know!  Thank you so much!”

“Tai, you’re so stupid.” T.K. said, pushing him over.

Tai got up and started whimpering.  “Ow!” he cried.  “That really hurt!”

“T.K.,” Matt said, his face getting very stern.  “You shouldn’t push!  Now Tai is hurt!”

“But I thought…” T.K. stuttered.

“No buts!” Matt said, crossing his arms.  Then he turned at Tai and helped him up.  “Are you okay?”

“No thanks to you!” Tai said, laughing stupidly as he ran into the woods.

“What a strange child.” Matt said.

“What a STUPID child.” Mimi laughed.  Sora and T.K. joined.

“Who?” Izzy asked.

“Tai.” Matt answered with a smile.

“Tai who?” Izzy asked, confused.  (Matt and Izzy start their circle conversation all over again.)

“Okay, let’s stop this!” Sora said, coming in between Matt and Izzy.

“Hey,” Matt said.  “It’s not very nice to come between two people when they are talking.”

“WHATEVER!” Sora said, looking annoyed and pushing Matt.  He was REALLY starting to get on her nerves.

T.K. walked over.  “Quit picking on my brother!” he said.  He kicked Sora in the shins but missed.

“Don’t do that to Sora!” Matt scolded T.K.

“But I just…” T.K. stuttered, a little confused.  All of a sudden, there was a big ‘BOOM!!’ from the woods.  Tai came flying out of the woods and landed head first in the sand with his feet sticking up in the air.  Everyone looked (except for Tai because his head was stuck in the sand and no one wanted to help him because he is so stupid) over at the mushroom cloud that was forming over the woods.  Leomon came running out of the forest laughing diabolically.

“BWA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!” said Leomon. 

“GASP!” yelled Matt.  “That creature isn’t wearing any shoes!  He might hurt himself or get a splinter!”

“SHUT-UP!” screamed everyone.

“HEL-LO!” said Tai stupidly, emerging from the ground.  “Leomon just blew up the whole woods!”

“OH NO!” Matt said.  “We have to go and make sure that everyone is okay!”  He looked around.  “Who wants to come with me?  After all, there is safety in numbers.”  Matt was starting to get on EVEN T.K.’s nerves now.

“I will,” sighed Mimi.  Izzy started to pull the legs off a spider one by one.  He tossed the limbs behind his head.  “Anything to get away from HIM!”  She pointed to Izzy who started wondering what the limbless spider was.  “Come on.”  She walked towards the woods.

“Coming!” Matt said, following her.

“What’s this?” Izzy asked, dropping the wriggling ball in T.K.’s hand.

“EW!” T.K. screeched.  “That’s gross!”  He dropped the poor spider onto the ground.

“What?” Izzy asked, confused.

“That!” T.K. said, pointing to the spider that was now moving wildly.

“What about it?” Izzy asked, scratching his head.

“Forget it!”

“Forget what?” 

MEANWHILE…

(For those of you who never read long paragraphs, I suggest that you read this one because it is funny.  Pointless, but still funny.)  “Hey, look what I found!” Matt said, picking up a purple flower on the ground.  “My mother used to plant them in her garden!  I loved that garden.  Oh, perhaps I could start my OWN garden!  It’ll start with this one, tiny flower.  Everything does, you know.  Oh, but they don’t ALWAYS start with a flower.  It depends on what you are doing and then the starting thing varies!  My starting item will be this flower.  Now, where can I make my garden?  I have to find the PERFECT spot because otherwise the flower could die due to too much sunlight or too little sunlight.  I learned that in school when we were growing our own plants for a science experiment.  Mine was placed in the sun for too long and it died.  I didn’t care at the time but now I realize that flowers have lives too.  So do trees, plants, grass…almost EVERYTHING has a life!  I respect that.  You’ve been awfully quiet, Mimi.  Mimi?”  He looked around but Mimi was nowhere in sight.  “MIMI!  Where are you Mimi?”  He thought for a minute.  “She must be looking for a place to start a garden as well.  She knows perfectly well that I am too and she’s going to go and take the best spot even though it was MY idea!  How DARE she!  That was very deceitful and dishonest of her.  Her punishment should not be TOO harsh, though, because she WAS doing it for the good of nature.  I’ll find her and explain to her that it is mean to take people’s ideas.”  He walked off to find Mimi.  (P.S.- NEVER let Matt talk to himself or it might result in this.)

Matt looked around for almost ten minutes before he heard crying.  “Oh no,” Matt said out loud.  “That’s Mimi!  I wonder what she’s so sad about?”  He ran through a couple of trees before finally finding Mimi lying face down on the ground, screaming at the top of her lungs.  “MIMI!” Matt exclaimed, bending down and putting her back on her feet.  She dove into his arms and started crying louder.

“OH MATT!” she sobbed.  “You wouldn’t believe what I’ve been through!”

“Tell me all about it!” Matt said.

“Leomon chased me for hours and then I hid from him for hours and it’s been days since I’ve eaten anything and I haven’t seen Sora, Izzy, you, Tai and T.K. for three weeks!” Mimi explained through her tears.

Even though Matt didn’t believe Mimi the least bit because he knew that they had only been in the forest for about twelve minutes, he still comforted her.  “Here,” he said, giving her the purple flower.  “I picked this for you.”

Mimi let go of Matt and stopped crying.  She studied her flower.  “It’s so pretty,” she managed to say.

MEANWHILE…

Izzy poked at the bouncing ball (a.k.a. the spider).  “What’s your name little thingy?” he asked the spider.  The spider continued to bounce, fighting for life.

“Izzy, just leave the spider alone.” Sora said, pulling Izzy away from the spider’s dying body.  “Don’t you think it’s suffered enough?  Just let it die.”  Izzy looked up at Sora with the same confused expression on his face from before.

“What?”

“Sorry, only Matt can start a circle conversation with you.” she said, sighing.

“What?” came the expected from Izzy.

MEANWHILE…

“And look at THIS one!” exclaimed Matt, picking up a red flower with orange marks on it and handing it to Mimi.  “I think this one is the best one yet!  What do you think?”

“I don’t like red, personally.” Said Mimi, taking the flower.  “But, it’s pretty anyway.”  She and Matt walked through the woods for a few minutes in silence.  Suddenly, Mimi turned to Matt.  “What are we doing in here anyway?”

“We are searching for Leomon!” Matt answered.  “Remember the bomb?”

“Oh, now I do.” Said Mimi.  They walked for two minutes before Mimi stopped again.  “My feet are getting tired.  Let’s rest here.”

(Feel free to skip this part, it is not important at all but VERY funny.)  “Okay,” Matt said cheerfully, not tired at all.  “This is where I can start my garden.”  Matt happily started digging up some ground and putting the flowers he had picked earlier in the holes.  “This is so fun, don’t you agree, Mimi?  Much more fun than soccer, anyway.  Contact sports are so dangerous.  Don’t get me wrong, soccer is a good sport and running around and getting fresh air is good for the mind, body and soul but have you ever noticed how HURT people get from just kicking a ball past each other and chasing it?  Personally, I think it’s crazy.  People have never understood the SAFER sports like chess or gardening.  Chess…gardening…those are my FAVORITE hobbies!  I just wish that EVERYONE would like them.  Anyway, no one ever gets hurt except for perhaps breaking a nail while digging a hole but that can be prevented by wearing gloves and using a shovel.  Also, people could get hurt…not their BODIES but their MINDS from chess if they lose too much.  That’s why it is IMPORTANT to play fairly, not to cheat and to always congratulate the other player on a job well done.”  He looked at his makeshift garden.  “Speaking of a job well done, I DO believe that I did a SPLENDID job making this garden.  This is the perfect spot where the flowers will get just enough rainfall, sunshine and shade.  Don’t you agree, Mimi?”  Mimi nodded, wondering about what Matt had just said about everything, a little confused.

Matt looked around.  “No sign of Leomon ANYWHERE!  I say that we should head back to camp.”

Mimi smiled and nodded again.  “Okay, I don’t like sitting in the dirt anyway.”  She stood up and started to follow Matt.

“It’s getting late.” Matt observed.  “I wonder if the others have had dinner without us.  That would be very mean.”

“Whatever.” Mimi said, continuing to walk.  She moved a branch out of the way.  “LOOK!  There they are!”  She pointed to the other Selected Kids who were sitting around Izzy’s computer (of course, Izzy has a confused expression on his face the way he usually has lately).

Tai looked up.  “Look!” he said stupidly.  “It’s Matt and Mimi!  Did you guys kill Leomon?”

“KILL?” Matt said as if that was the most horrible thing in the whole world.  “Why would we KILL him?  I’m sure that he was just in the wrong place at the wrong time and just HAPPEN to be running by and laughing about something funny that just happened when the woods exploded…” Sora cut him off.

“Just shut-up.” she said.  “We got a message from Vademon!”  Matt and Mimi walked over and looked at the screen.  Vademon was there, being stupid as usual.  He was dancing around stupidly and acting like a girl (not like that is a BAD thing or anything it’s just that boys shouldn’t do that).

“Hello Selected Kids!” said Vademon in his retarded voice.

“Isn’t Vademon BAD or is that just ME?” T.K. asked.

“No one is bad.” Matt said.  “Everyone is a child of the same universe.  We all contribute to…”

“QUIET!” Sora yelled.  “I CAN’T HEAR VADEMON!!”

Izzy started to attempt to pronounce Vademon.

Vademon continued.  “I remember you!”  He directed this to Izzy.  Izzy smiled cheerfully at Vademon.  “Oh well!  Anyway, Frigimon called me cause he heard all about it!  Of course, he only specializes in curing the getting younger disease.  He knows, because we are pals, that I am good at getting people‘s original personalities back.”

“What do you mean?” Sora asked.

“Well, the personality that sticks out the most in you has been reversed.” Vademon answered.  “Example: T.K. is an innocent little…thingy… and his personality was switched so he was turned into an aggressive fighting …thingy…”

“I don’t wanna fight EVER!!” yelled T.K,

“I still don’t understand.” Said Tai stupidly.

“Okay, take IZZY for example.” Said Vademon.  “He used to be this super genius…thingy…but he was turned to a…NON…super genius…thingy.”

“Thingy?” asked Izzy but everyone ignored him.

“I STILL DON’T GET IT!!” Tai yelled, starting to cry.

Vademon tried not to sound annoyed.  “Okay…Matt.  He used to be a idiot and beat up people…type…thingy…but now he’s a flower child…thingy…”

“And proud of it!” Matt said.

“YOU DON’T EXPLAIN STUFF VERY GOOD!!” Tai shrieked, tears streaming down his face.

“OKAY!” Vademon said, sounding annoyed this time.  “How about MIMI?  She was a prissy…thingy…but then she turned into this jock…type…tomboy… thingy.”  Vademon waited for Tai’s response.

“I hate moving too much!” whined Mimi.

“Oh, I think I get it.” Tai said, wiping his face.  Everyone sighed with relief.

“Get what?” asked Izzy, scratching his head.  Vademon starting fuming.

“SILENCE OR I SHALL STEAL ALL OF YOUR CURIOUSITYS!!” Vademon yelled at the top of his lungs.  Everyone stared at him for a couple of minutes.  “Now, for the cure.  You must go to Myotiswomon’s lair, steal her cape…”

“Myotiswomon?” asked Sora with a confused look on her face.

“Yes, Myotiswomon.” Vademon said. 

“I thought there was only a MyotisMON!” said T.K.

“How do you think the Myotises reproduce?” Vademon answered.  He went back to the cure.  “Now, after you steal her cape, you have to get Leomon’s sword.  You have to use Leomon’s sword to shred Myotiswomon’s cape.  You then mix the shredded cape with Dokugumon’s thread.  You then have to get Ogermon to eat the mixture.  After he eats it, he will have magical powers and will be able to turn you all back with his magical spikey club!  There!  It’s that easy!”

“Easy?” Sora said sarcastically.

“YES!” Vademon disappeared from the screen.

Matt looked at the rest of the Selected Kids.  “Well, we have to pay Myotiswomon a visit and ask to borrow her cape!” he said happily.

“No, we have to STEAL it!” Tai said stupidly.

Matt frowned.  “No, that would be deceitful and dishonest.” He said.  “I’m sure that if we ask nicely, she’ll be HAPPY to loan us her cape!”

“Where IS Myotiswomon’s lair ANYWAY?” Mimi asked.  “I hope it’s not too far away cause I just did a lot of walking and I don’t want to do any more.”

“Whatever!” Tai said.  He grabbed Izzy’s computer.  “Maybe we can ask someone!” 

“Hey…” Izzy said blankly.  All of a sudden, Seadramon’s stupid face appeared on the screen. 

“Oh my god!  It’s SEADRAMON!” said Tai stupidly.

“Yes, it is I, SEADRAMON!” bellowed Seadramon.  “I got some speech lessons.  Isn’t that exciting?”

“That must have been a great accomplishment for you.” Matt said.  “I am proud of you and happy for you.”

“Whatever.” Said Seadramon.

“What are you doing on Izzy’s computer?” Sora asked.

“I work for the Department of Finding Stuff That You’ve Never Heard Of.” Seadramon answered.  “You can also call it the DOFSTYNHO.”

“Oh, okay.” Sora said.

“Vademon and Frigimon told me that you were having trouble finding Myotiswomon’s lair!” Seadramon said, returning to the subject.  “I just so happen to have this map that Vegemon made for me cause he specializes in making maps of stuff.  I’ll download it onto your computer.”  A little blue bar appeared on the screen.  “This will take about three seconds.”  The bar got filled up and a map appeared on the screen.  “Now, do you remember what you were supposed to do to have them turn back?”

“No.” said Sora, Tai, T.K., Izzy and Mimi.

“I do!” Matt said.  “I listened as carefully as I could as not to forget anything he said.  After all, he was nice enough to TELL us so I figured that I should at LEAST listen.”

“So what was it?” Mimi asked.

“We have to borrow Myotiswomon’s cape and then ask Leomon politely to use his sword.  We have to use Leomon’s sword that he so kindly let us borrow to cut Myotiswomon’s cape but of course we will buy her a new one afterwards.  We then have to mix the chopped cape with Dokugumon’s thread that I’m SURE he’ll give some to us because he has so much.  We then have to get Ogremon to eat the mixture.  Of course Ogremon will because we will ask him nicely.  After he eats it, he will have magical powers and will be able to turn us all back with his magical spikey club!  We will then thank him, like we should.”

“I wasn’t listening.” Tai said stupidly.  “Were you guys?”  Everyone sighed at Tai’s stupidity.  They then all directed their attention to the screen at Seadramon.

“Okay, you obviously understand.” Seadramon said with a smile on his stupid face.  “Now, I’ll be leaving now because I must meet with Shellmon and Monochromon.”  He disappeared from the screen and in his place was a map.

“Let’s get going!” said Sora, looking at the map.  “Well, what do you know?  It says here that the lair of Myotiswomon is on that island!”  Sora pointed to an island in the middle of the ocean.  “How are we going to get over there?”

“Easy!” Tai said.  “We’ll ride Ikkakumon!”

Sora looked annoyed.  “And WHERE do you think we’ll find Ikkakumon?”

“Right here!” said Tai stupidly.  He started digging a hole.

“Tai, he’s not going to be in a hole.” Sora said, shaking her head.

“I support Tai’s idea!” Matt said.  “He may be on to something!  You never know after all.”  He looked at Tai digging the hole.  “I would help but I don’t want to get my clothes dirty or break a nail.”

“Look!” Tai said, holding up Gomamon.  “It’s GOMAMON!  Come on, Gomamon, DIGIVOLVE!”

Gomamon looked around.  “How can I digivolve?” he said, sighing.  “I forget who my human partner is.  I need the digivice to digivolve.”

“Just use mine!” Matt said, holding it out.  “I know you will return it afterwards.”

“Uh, I guess that works.” Gomamon said, shrugging.  “GOMAMON DIGIVOLVE TO…IKKAKUMON!!”  Cute little Gomamon turned into stupid fat head Ikkakumon!

“Get on!” Ikkakumon thundered in his stupid voice.  Everyone climbed onto his back.  A weird kid with blue hair and glasses followed.  No one stopped him cause they didn’t think he would hurt them.  After all, he followed them everywhere and never bothered them.

Ikkakumon started moving but Mimi looked around.  “HEY WAIT!” she screamed.

“WHAT?!” said everyone except the kid with the blue hair.

“Where’s Izzy?” she said.  Everyone turned around to see Izzy trying to get out of the hole Tai had dug.

“Stupid Izzy!” said Tai.  “That’s a FINDING hole!  Not a FALLING into hole!”  Tai chuckled stupidly at his stupid unfunny joke.  No one else even smiled in the least bit…except Matt.

“Tai, you’re so funny!” said Matt.  “But, we need to get Izzy because he needs to be ‘turned back’ as you say!”  Matt did the quotes and laughed to himself.  Tai started laughing too.

“Let’s make up a secret club!” said Tai.  “We’ll call it the Funny People Club!”  Matt shook his head.

“That would exclude some people and that’s just not right.” He said.  “But we can still be friends!”

“Can we at least make up a handshake?” Tai asked.

“Of COURSE!” Matt said.  “But first, we have to get Izzy!”  They got ready to get off Ikkakumon but Mimi, Sora and T.K. had already brought Izzy on Ikkakumon.  “Oh, I’m sorry I got distracted from helping you.”

“That’s okay!” said T.K., hugging Matt’s leg.  “You’re still my big brother no matter how stupid you’re acting!”

“No problem!” said Matt.  “Now, everyone get down and hold on tight as not to fall off.  Shouldn’t we be wearing life jackets or have some sort of life boat incase Ikkakumon sinks cause he doesn’t look like he’d make it out in the water for more than two minutes!  I’m sure he’s doggy paddling.  I took swimming lessons once and it…”

“Matt, stop.” Said Mimi because she had already heard three of those pointless conversations with himself.

“I’m sorry for annoying you.” Matt told her.

“WE’RE HERE!” Ikkakumon boomed stupidly, crashing into the shore of the island.  All of the Selected Kids got off of Ikkakumon as he undigivolved to Gomamon.  All of a sudden, Leomon came out of no where in a submarine and pulled Gomamon underwater and zoomed away before any of the Selected Kids noticed that Gomamon was missing.

“So, there’s Myotiswomon’s lair.” Said Sora, pointing to a castle.  There was a sudden FLASH of lightning.  Izzy jumped into Sora’s arms, horrified of the strange sound that he hadn’t heard before.  He trembled and clung to her shirt.  “Izzy, let go.  It’s fake.  It’s only to make Myotiswomon’s lair look scarier.”  There was another flash of lightning as the castle came back into view.

“Oh, okay.” Said Izzy, still shaking.  Sora put him down.  He fell under his own weight to the ground and on his face.  He didn’t move as everyone stared at him for a minute.  After about two minutes of silence and staring, Izzy said something.  “Ow.”

Matt grabbed him by the collar and stood him up straight.  “There you go!” he said, patting Izzy on the back.  Izzy just fell over again.  Matt picked Izzy back up and stood him up.  He steadied him until he was sure he could stand by himself.  “There.  Let’s go get Myotiswomon’s cape!”

The six walked up to the door of the castle.

“Now, we have to creep in unnoticed…” Sora started but she was interrupted by a DING-DONG!  She turned around to see Matt, Tai and Izzy standing at the door.  “Why did you guys ring the doorbell?!” she shrieked.

The door slid open even though Myotiswomon wasn’t there.  The six Selected Kids walked in.  They looked at the top of the stairs.

“MYOTISMON!” Tai yelled, pointing at the Digimon at the top of the stairs.

“No, I’m MyotisWOmon!” said the Digimon that looked exactly like Myotismon.

“Are you sure?” Tai asked.  “You look exactly like Myotismon!  There is NO differences!”

Sora crept over to Tai.  “Keep her distracted while I get her cape!” she whispered.

“Myotiswomon?” said Matt.  “Do you think that we could have your cape?  It would make our lives a lot easier.  Please?”  Sora slapped her forehead.

Myotiswomon thought about this for a couple of minutes.  “Sure, why not?” she said.  She took off her cape and threw it down to Matt.  Matt caught it.

“Thanks a whole bunch!” said Matt, admiring the cape.  He handed it to Tai who was reaching for it.

“It’s so SOFT!” he said, feeling it.

“I wanna feel it!” Izzy whined reaching up for it.  Tai stuck out his tongue and held it out of Izzy’s grasp.  He taunted Izzy while Izzy started whimpering.

“Tai!” scolded Matt.  “Don’t be so mean!  You’re not looking at it!  Let Izzy have a turn!”  Tai nodded and handed the cape to Izzy.  Izzy looked at it with the usual clueless face.

“What’s this?” he asked Matt.

“A cape.” Matt answered with the usual happy look on his face.

“What’s a cape?”

“That.” Matt pointed to the cape Izzy was holding.

“What?”

“That.”

“What about it?”

“It’s a cape.”

“What’s a cape?”

“That.”  This continued once again until Tai snatched it away from Izzy.  Izzy continued to hold out his hands as if he was still holding it.  He started looking at his empty hands, wondering where the strange soft cloth had disappeared to.

“Now be gone from my lair!” Myotiswomon bellowed.

“You’re not even going to invite us in for dinner?” Tai asked stupidly with the usual stupid look on his face.

Sora looked at Tai with her usual annoyed look on her face.  “QUIET TAI!” she yelled.

T.K. looked at Mimi with his usual uncute look on his face.  “What do we have to do next?” he asked.

Mimi looked back at T.K. with her usual I-Don’t-Know-What’s-Going-On look on her face.  “I don’t know.” She said.

Matt broke in.  “We have to borrow Leomon’s sword.” He said.

“BE GONE FROM MY LAIR!!” Myotiswomon screamed at the top of her lungs.

“Hold your stupid horses!” Tai said stupidly.  Myotiswomon started fuming.

“CRIMDAUGHTER LIGHTNING!” (you know, CrimSON Lightning?  CrimDAUGHTER Lightning?  She’s MyotisWOmon, remember?  Ha ha ha ha.)  she screamed, hurling at pink rod of energy at the Selected Kids.  All the Selected Kids screamed in panic and ran away…except for Izzy.  He stared at the rod, feeling he needed to touch it.  He reached out to touch it and was flung back against the wall.

“Cool…” he said blankly.  Everyone knows that Myotiswomon hasn’t seen battle in two gazillion years because she was cleaning the lair so much so she isn’t very powerful.

“Stupid child.” She mumbled.  She flew stupidly over to Izzy.  She looked down at him.  She grabbed him by his leg and picked him up.  He stared at her upside down.

“Hi.” He said with a smile.

“UNhi!” said Myotiswomon stupidly.

“Unhi?” Izzy asked, confused.  “What’s that mean?”

“That means that I’m NOT saying hi to you!”

“Why?”

“Cause I’m bad!”

“Why?”

“Cause I LIKE being bad!”

“Why?”

“Cause I grew up that way!”

“Why?”

“Cause my whole family was bad!”

“Why?”

“Cause THEY grew up that way!”

“Why?”

“Cause their parents were bad!”

“Why?”

Myotiswomon started getting very mad.  Sparks started flying out of her neck.  She started having a seizure.  “You’re making me very mad!”

“Why?”

“Cause you’re annoying me!”

“Why?”

“BECAUSE YOU JUST ARE!”

“Why?”

“I DON’T KNOW!!  AHHHH!!”  She exploded.  Izzy fell down on his head.  He looked around.

“I TOLD you so.” He said, looking satisfied with himself.  He turned around and smashed into the wall.  He fell down onto his back.  He opened his eyes and pointed to the wall.  “THAT needs a bath.” He said plainly.  All the other Selected Kids rushed out.

“IZZY!” they all said.  “YOU DEFEATED MYOTISWOMON!”  They hadn’t seen what had happened so they started cheering for him and patted him on the back him.  Matt picked up the little mask thingy.

“Poor Myotiswomon.” He said.  “She was helping us out and we blew her to smithereens.”  Matt sighed.

“OH WELL!” yelled Tai, snatching the little mask thingy away and heaving it as far as he possibly could.  “Let’s go and get Leomon’s sword!”  All of a sudden, Leomon ran by, laughing diabolically, his sword swinging at his side.

“BWA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!!!” said Leomon.  He continued.  “BWA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA…”

“Excuse me!” called Matt.  Leomon turned around.

“What is it?” he asked impatiently.  “Can’t you see I’m in the middle of doing something VERY important and VERY evil!?”

“I apologize!” said Matt.  “But do you think by any chance that you could loan us your sword?  We just have to shred Myotiswomon’s cape with it.  It will only take a minute.”

Leomon considered this.  “Why not?” he said.  “But come to my evil castle…lair…thingy.”  He swished his cape and the six Selected Kids and Leomon were transported to Leomon’s lair.  “I’ll give you a spare.”  He led them into a large room with a huge case on the side.

“HELP US MATT AND IZZY!” came voices from the other room.  “AND YOU OTHER GUYS TOO!”  It was their Digimon but it had been so long since they last heard them so they didn’t recognize their voices!

“Who is summoning us from the room that is across from this very one we are standing in?” Matt asked Leomon.  Leomon shrugged.  He pulled out a sword and handed it to Matt.  “I REFUSE to touch any form of weapon!  Give it to someone else!”  Leomon shrugged again and handed the sword to Mimi.

“Now be gone from my evil lair!” yelled Leomon, swishing his cape again.  All the Selected Kids appeared outside.

“YAY!” said T.K.  “What do we have to do next, Matt?”

“We have to get Dokugumon to loan us some thread and then feed it to Ogremon!” Matt answered.  All of a sudden, Ogremon and Dokugumon walked by, talking about stuff.

“No,” said Dokugumon.  “I still stick by my argument that ADVIL is the best medicine to take when you have a headache.”  Ogremon shook his head.

“Anyone can see and understand that CHILDREN’S TYLENOL is the best to take.” He argued.  “You need WATER to take Advil but Children’s Tylenol is a helpful little chewable that tastes good as well as reliving your headache.”

“EXCUSE ME!” said Matt, dropping the cape in Tai’s arms and running over to the two.  “Dokugumon?  Do you think that you can loan us some of your thread?”

Dokugumon shrugged.  “Why not?”  He opened a little door on the back of his little ball for a body and a little spool popped out.  He yanked a couple of yards out and handed it to Matt.

“Thank you!” said Matt, handing the sticky thread to Sora who started mixing the thread and shredded cape together.  “And Ogremon?  We need you to EAT this.”

Ogremon looked at the bowl that Sora was holding out.  Every single other task had been so easy and the six hoped that Ogremon would do it without argument.

“Okay.” He said plainly.  He swallowed the mixture whole along with the bowl.  He threw the spoon at their feet.

“YAY!” said all the Selected Kids.  Izzy started staring at the spoon.  He thought it would be a GOOD idea to eat it.  He started to shove it in his mouth until Mimi stopped him.

“No Izzy!” she said as if he was a dog.  “Bad Izzy!  We do NOT eat spoons!”  Izzy started whining and reaching for the spoon that Mimi was holding above his head.  Mimi threw it as far as she could.  Izzy watched it slowly get smaller.  Then he forgot what he was looking at and went back to being confused.

“Did you, by any chance, happen to bring your spikey club thingy with you?” Sora asked Ogremon.

“Why, yes I did!” said Ogremon, pulling out his club.

“Life is so GRAND!” said Matt.  “Everything is going just as we wanted!”  He looked at the other Selected Kids.  “So, what is this for anyway?  You never DID tell me!”

“We’re turning you back!” said Tai stupidly.

“To what?” Matt asked.

“You know.” Said Tai.  “You’re usual grumpy, annoying…”

“But I don’t WANT to be like that!” Matt whined.  “I am just fine the way I am!”

“But it’s irritating us more than it irritated us when you were mean!” Sora said.

Matt crossed his arms.  “I refuse!”

“TOUGH!” Ogremon bellowed, tapping Matt and Izzy on the head with his club as if it was a fairy wand.  He turned back to Dokugumon.  “Now, you were saying about Advil?”  They walked away.

“So, Matt, when are we going to make up that secret handshake?!” Tai asked stupidly, putting his arm around Matt’s shoulder.

“If ANYONE says ANYTHING about the past couple days…” Matt started.  He pushed Tai away.  “They will DIE.”

“I feel so…smart.” Said Izzy, feeling satisfied with himself.  “Tai, you have my pity.”

“Thanks!” said Tai stupidly.